The Haunted Hathaways (2013) s01e12 Episode Script

Haunted Principal

Miles, while I'm baking, can you not hover over my shoulder? Literally? Ugh, you sound just like your mother.
Hey, what's going on? I agreed to help Miles make cookies for his little club get-together.
[Scoffs.]
Excuse me.
The ghosts against scaring association is a huge deal.
We meet every month to discuss ways to promote positive ghost messaging.
I may have misled you with my "hey, what's going on?" I just want a cookie.
All right.
They should be ready in about ten minutes.
I just have to set the timer to [Oven knocking.]
Not that.
It's broken.
Mom's going to freak.
Don't worry, I've got your back.
[Oven knocking.]
What a nightmare! She did it.
I can't find my lipstick anywhere.
Oh, there it is.
Thanks, little ones.
Love ya bunches.
"Love ya bunches"? What was that? Uh, Mom? I think the oven is broken.
Ooh, sounds fun.
Does my hair look okay? I think it looks okay.
- [Loud bang.]
- [Screaming.]
Ugh! My snacks! I can't serve these now! All right, I need answers! I asked how my hair was, and no one's responded.
You know ooh! Know what? No time.
I've got, uh [Clears throat.]
Something to do.
Wait a sec.
Acting nervous, easily distracted Overly concerned about her looks.
- I think Mom is going on a date.
- [Laughing.]
Impossible! Frankie, it's Friday afternoon and she's not wearing sweatpants.
Mom's going on a date! [Scoffs.]
With that hairdo? Yikes.
[Spooky rock music.]
If you move into a haunted house.
You gotta try to work things out.
So if you're living with a ghost or three.
You gotta be one big, semi scary family.
Don't know how we ended up this way.
But I guess you could call us The Haunted Hathaways.
The Haunted Hathaways.
The Haunted Hathaways.
The Haunted Hathaways.
[Music.]
It's a crazy world out there.
You're telling me.
Mom? This oven repair guy can't get out here until next week.
Aw, thank you.
I got it on sale.
40 bucks.
Hey, if you want your oven repaired, why don't you just ask my pops? Really? Ray, you can fix it? My Dad can fix anything.
[Laughs.]
Well, not anything.
- He's just being modest.
- That's true.
Last year alone, he fixed the furnace, the vacuum cleaner And my Tween Dream vanity mirror.
Miles' Tween Dream vanity mirror.
Preston men do know their way around a toolbox.
Yeah, they do.
The Man! [Laughing.]
Let's go take a look.
Thanks, Ray! Principal Nelson? Ms.
Hathaway.
What's the fuzz doing here? I don't know.
You don't think he found out I booby-trapped the water fountain.
Or coated the gym ropes with butter! Or filled the trombones with taco meat! What is wrong with you? Mess with me and you'll find out.
Why is Mom talking to our Principal? [Laughing.]
And why are they laughing? Miles! What's up? I'm kinda busy making ghost T-shirts for my club meeting.
You know, I thought I should offer something since I have no snacks.
"Stop scaring, start caring"? Too harsh? We need you to stretch your ear over there and eavesdrop on our Mom.
I guess I could do that.
Just as long as it's not haunting.
After all Less talky, more stretchy.
Okay, let's see.
He's complimenting her a lot.
- No way! - What? Did you know Michelle got that blouse for 40 bucks? What a find.
- Now she's giggling.
- [Giggling.]
- Now he's giggling.
- [Laughs.]
Now they're making dinner plans.
I think we see where this is going.
To a restaurant.
No, Mom is dating our Principal! Aw.
Not "aw!" Ewe! - Ewe? - Uh huh.
Oh.
Okay, pops, let's show these Hathaway women what a Preston man can do.
[Laughs.]
So what do we do? Well, the first thing when fixing an appliance is looking the part.
[Snaps fingers.]
Ha! Can't forget my tools! Whoa.
Check out that drill.
Oh, yeah.
She's a beaut.
The S-60-320-X Let's fire this baby up.
[Struggling.]
Maybe move that safety switch.
[Laughs.]
[Drill whirs.]
You see? I just taught you your first lesson.
Always keep your drill in the safety position.
You are the wisest man I know.
[Laughs.]
Thank you, son.
You know, I been doing this since I was Oh! Uh ha! Right where I wanted it.
You know, out of the reach of children.
So, should we open the oven and see where the noise is coming from? Now you see, that's what a rookie might do.
The first thing a pro does is get the dimensions of what he's fixing.
[Laughs nervously.]
Gimme a sec.
Must be jammed.
Ow! Sorry.
Uh, you know what? Pshh.
This looks like a tricky job.
Maybe you should go upstairs and start your ghost homework.
Are you kidding? I have to learn these things if I want to be a man someday.
I'll be your assistant.
And like you said, I should look the part.
[Snaps fingers.]
No one better touch me pot of gold.
Mom and Principal Nelson dating! I know! I mean, Mom and Principal Nelson - Dating! - I know! Is this a good time to run some anti-scaring slogans by you guys? Both: No! You two still worried about Michelle and your Principal? Is it really that bad? Both: Um, yeah! What if it got serious and they got married? Can you imagine if Principal Nelson lived under our roof? He'd uncover all my secrets.
What if he was able to open my footlocker? What do you have in your footlocker? I got things, man.
Bad things.
If he lived here, it would be a nightmare.
[Harp flourish.]
Hello? Anyone here? [Upbeat music.]
Frankie Hathaway! Come on down! You're the next contestant on "wheel of punishment"! What is happening? I know about the gym ropes and your footlocker.
And now, it's time for you to pay! Michelle, are you ready to spin that wheel? I sure am, Bob.
Mom? Round and round it goes.
Where it stops, nobody knows.
Trash duty, grounding Military school? - No! - [Laughing.]
[Harp flourish.]
That could so happen.
What about me? No one wants to be friends with the daughter of the Principal.
I'd be a complete social outcast! [Harp flourish.]
[Wind howling.]
Would you go to the dance with me? Hi, would you go to the dance with me? - Would you go to the dance with me? - With the Principal's daughter? [Cackling.]
Hey, Taylor, you can go to the dance with me As a chaperone.
It'll be fun.
We can bust troublemakers together.
[Surf rock music.]
Because when you sneak out of school Or you break the Golden Rule, that's detention.
Shake it to the left.
And when you sneak out of class, or get caught without a pass That's detention! Shake it to the right.
Mom? No! No! [Harp flourish.]
That could so happen.
All I know is we have to break them up.
I'm gonna call my snake guy.
You have a snake guy? You don't? Yeah, let's call that option two.
No offense, but this involves dating, and that's kinda my area of expertise.
Because you went on one? Yes.
Guys, what about taking the honest approach? Go talk to Michelle and tell her how you're really feeling.
[Both laughing.]
[As Miles.]
"How about the honest approach?" [As Miles.]
"Tell her how you're really feeling".
Teasing isn't pleasing! Ooh, that's so gonna be a T-shirt.
And Done! Woo! I told you I'd get the digital clock to tell the right time again.
Yay.
So, Dad, maybe you should open the oven and see where the noise is coming from.
[Sighs.]
Okay.
Fine.
Hand me the grippy thingy.
You mean the wrench? Uh, yeah.
I wasn't sure you knew the technical name for it.
[Cat meows.]
Hey, cat, I wouldn't be sitting up there right now if I were you.
[Oven knocking.]
- [Cat screeches.]
- Oww! Seriously? [Cat meows.]
And that, son, is how you remove an oven door.
So I think I found a way to break up Mom and Principal Nelson that doesn't involve snakes.
Check out the poster I made for my meeting tonight.
"Uncle Miles wants you Not to boo!" So I think I found a way to break up Mom and Principal Nelson that doesn't involve snakes.
We need to show Mom there are better fish in the sea.
And there he is.
Rusty, our school crossing guard? I didn't have a ton of options.
Taylor, I'm going out for a bit, so you're in charge, okay? Mom, wait! You remember Rusty From the busy intersection.
Is this her? Yes, Rusty.
This is my mother.
Oh.
Hmm.
Well, she's not a blonde.
I'm outta here.
Girls, I Do not know what that was, but I'm in a hurry.
Big dinner plans? Actually, I'm having dinner with Bob Nelson, your Principal.
[Gasps.]
I am shocked by this new information.
Well, I didn't want to tell you yet because There's a chance he may ask me something tonight that could lead to an exciting new adventure.
But until it's official whoop! You know what? I've already said too much.
We'll talk about this later! Our nightmare is coming true.
Nelson's gonna propose to Mom! I think the time has come to finally take someone's advice.
You're right, Miles.
Frankie, call your snake guy.
This marriage proposal is not happening.
Okay.
[Exhales.]
How do I get out of here? [Music.]
How relaxing is the Koi Pond? Fish are such magical creatures.
I'll have the baked salmon.
I thought it'd be nice to go somewhere special, in case we have something to celebrate.
Well, I like it.
[Laughing.]
- May I help you? - Konichiwa.
I'm Patricia Applebee, a grown woman who enjoys fine dining.
Terrific.
Right this way.
[Laughing.]
Silly fool.
He never suspected a thing.
Look, there they are.
No sign of a ring.
You ready to stop a wedding proposal? Ah, just put these snakes under her table, and this date is over.
Now, because of me, they installed an extra guard rail at the monkey cages! [Laughing.]
That is a great story.
You are funny.
Oh, I haven't laughed this hard in years.
Well Come on! What are you waiting for? Release the serpents.
Look at her laughing.
She looks so happy.
- Are we sure we're doing the right thing? - I knew you'd go soft on me.
Here.
Hold my binky.
I loved New York, but my family needed a fresh start.
It was tough at first, but it was the best thing for my girls.
- They're my babies.
- Mm.
Ugh! Why does she have to be such a good Mom? Face it.
At the end of the day, we both want Mom to be happy.
And if it's with our [Shudders.]
Principal So be it.
Come on, let's get outta here.
Oh.
You know, when it comes down to it, we're very caring people.
- Uh, Frankie? - Hmm? Where'd your snakes go? Um - [Snakes hissing.]
- [Screaming.]
Found 'em! [Banging.]
Fit, you stupid pipe! Fit! Hello, kind Sir.
'Tis I, Ben Franklin, inventor of the oven and lightning.
Louie And as President of these United States I declare this oven unfixable.
Please stop wasting everyone's time and just buy a new one.
Later, Dad.
Hey, pops.
Ha.
Any cool visitors drop by? Louie, I know what I'm doing.
No one's buying a new oven.
It's just this line.
It needs tightening.
[Banging.]
[Boom.]
[Water splashing.]
What'd you do? Welcome, friends.
I must say, this is the biggest turnout we've ever had in club history.
Woo-hoo! Who doesn't put out snacks? Some olives, mixed nuts? How hard is it to whip up a few cheese puffs? Snacks aside, the reason we're here is our commitment to not scaring.
Just today, I was asked to haunt.
You cut up an apple and put it on a plate! The family I live with wanted to keep a man from proposing to their Mom.
But I did the right thing; Nothing.
So where are they going to live once they're engaged? - What do you mean? - They're getting married.
They'll probably move into a new house.
Nobody is moving.
Who said anything about moving? We're a family! Relax, man.
You know what might calm you down? A snack.
Oh, that's right.
Oh, no.
What have I done? I have to get my haunt on! Meeting over! Worst host ever.
Mongo? Good little snakey.
Come to Mama.
Frankie, we're undercover.
Keep your voice down.
Okay.
Aah! Sorry I'm late, but don't worry.
I'm not going to let this Principal clown take you away from us.
Miles, stand down.
We're not So anyway, I think you know why I asked you here.
Yo! Bob-o! Park it in neutral, big guy.
Excuse me? Something you should know before you start asking questions left and right.
O-kay.
First off, you know what my nickname is? Moustache Michelle.
I have to shave my face five times a day.
That's a lot.
In fact, I feel a little stubble popping out right now.
So, if you'll excuse me, gotta lather up.
Michelle, do you need some fresh air? No, I just need a razor.
Hey, Yo-Yo Ma! Help a lady out! Mm.
Smooth.
What's that on the ground? [Snake hissing.]
Ah! Snake! [Screams.]
If you'll excuse me No need to thank me.
Unless you insist.
What are you doing here? Are you three behind this? We did what we had to do.
We couldn't sit back and let Nelson marry you.
You think Principal Nelson and I are dating? Mom, we know.
We saw the giggling, the primping, the not-wearing sweatpants.
At first, we freaked, but then we saw how happy he makes you.
So if you want to marry him, we support you.
Okay, first of all, Principal Nelson and I are not getting married.
- We're not even dating.
- What? - 'Scuse me? - Huh? He's been trying to get me to cater all the PTA luncheons for the rest of the year.
We've been negotiating a price.
But you said this could be the beginning of an exciting new adventure.
Because I was going to use the money to pay for that ski trip you've both been dying to go on.
- Mm.
- I just haunted On national anti-haunting day For nothing? You kids should have just used the honest approach Come and talk to me and tell me how you really feel.
- You're right, Mom.
- If only someone had told us.
What? That was my advice.
I said that! Was that before or after you covered my face with sour cream? Before.
So about that ski trip [snake hissing.]
Ah! Snake! Yeah, you're not going skiing.
Pop's can I talk to you for a second? Uh, can this wait? I'm just about done in there.
Yeah, I've been watching you all day.
I'm not sure you are.
It's like you don't have any idea what you're doing.
What? Well, for your information, the oven is fixed.
I'm The Man, right? Okay, good talk.
Get lost, go play.
Okay, Mrs.
Hathaway, your new oven is installed! [As Michelle.]
Okay, thank you! Money's on the counter! You bought a new oven? But you just said you could fix anything.
Ah, fine.
The truth is Everything you thought I fixed before, I just replaced.
I barely know a screwdriver from a - From a - It's called a hammer.
That's it.
I'm sorry I lied to you, son.
I just didn't want to let you down.
I can't believe it.
This is awesome! Huh? I'm not the only one in our family who messes up.
Every time I turn myself into a leprechaun or a piece of string cheese, it's humiliating.
But now that I know you're a complete disaster at fixing stuff.
I feel like it's okay that I'm not perfect.
Dad, you're The Man! Really? Thank you, son.
I am The Man.
[Door opens.]
- Forgot your receipt.
- [As Michelle.]
Okeydokey! Toodle-oo! Uh Just forget that last part.
Does this place have an exit?
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