The O.C. (2003) s01e12 Episode Script
The Secret
Previously on The O.
C: Know what I like about rich kids? - Nothing.
- Let me meet you upstairs.
- Summer? - Anna? - Seth? - The gruesome twosome.
You spent the weekend painting Jimmy's house, and I didn't say a word because I knew nothing was going on.
- Of course.
Do I have a fever? I think I might have a fever and/or the chills.
- Since when? - Since recently.
So you're not feeling well? No, I feel fine.
Just my head's a little achy and my stomach's kind of weird.
I'm okay.
Come here.
- You don't feel warm.
- What about cold or clammy? - Maybe you've got the summer flu.
- Yeah.
It's November, but it's possible.
Maybe you need some Anna-biotics.
- Do you not want to go to school? - No, Dad.
I want to go to school.
Okay? - I'm just worried about infecting others.
- You're right.
We should just take you straight to the emergency room.
Just to be sure.
Okay.
Or I could stay home and try and sleep it off.
Or you could go to school, face Summer and Anna and apologize.
First of all, no.
Second of all, no.
Why would I? Oh, the Summer flu.
I just got it.
That was good.
It's not my fault that they both tried to kiss me on Thanksgiving.
What was I supposed to do? Not kiss back? Say "No, stop"? Risk hurting their feelings? Well, it seems you already did hurt their feelings.
Yeah, perhaps I did, but what about my feelings, okay? I was the one who was assaulted.
I'm the victim.
Hey, how come you're not dressed? You're gonna be late.
And so are you.
Or is that what ladies are wearing these days to Yogalates? Taryn called to remind you that today is the first day of your Yogalates workshop.
- Okay.
Mom, Yogalates? - I don't know if I'm gonna go.
- I'm not feeling well.
- See? It's contagious.
You know, honey, you might still be a little hung-over.
From what? I don't know.
Getting drunk and passing out on Thanksgiving? Hey, I had two glasses of wine.
Three.
I'm sure Julie Cooper has spread word around town that I now have a drinking problem.
Which is why you have to go to Yogalates.
Because you know those chatty Newpsies will assume you're sleeping off a bender.
And Summer and Anna will assume you're afraid of them.
Hey, I'm not afraid of Summer and Anna, all right? - Well, I'm not afraid of Anna.
- So you're going to school.
- And you're going to Yogalates.
- You like saying that.
Yogalates? I kind of do.
- Yogalates.
- Yogalates.
You know what I want to know, is why these two are so smug.
Because for once, they didn't do anything wrong? That's true.
- Here's to you.
- Back at you.
Enjoy it, boys, because knowing the two of you it won't last long.
- Yogalates.
Your class presentations will account for one-third of your final grade along with your term papers and, of course, the final exam.
I'll be dividing the class into two-person teams.
Each team will be responsible for presenting a detailed account of a pivotal event or period in European history.
I've already had quite a few partnership requests however, in fairness to the other students I will select the teams myself at random.
Lauren and Kenny, the French Revolution.
Ryan and Luke, the Spanish Inquisition.
Stephanie and Bobby, the Protestant Reformation.
Stephanie? Are you listening? Stephanie? Miss Savage, please.
- You and Luke? - I know.
Holy unholy alliances.
This is why I asked Mr.
Bendis a week ago if we could be partners.
- To avoid a situation like this.
- Why? Who did you get? Marcy Ross and I are doing Cort Ás and the Aztecs.
I like Marcy Ross.
She's got a good smile on her.
It's innocent but it's knowing.
- You're going after Marcy now too? - Hey.
I'm the victim here, okay? Don't tell me, tell Summer and Anna.
And, hey, eventually you might want to tell Marcy too.
What are you and Luke doing? That was me ignoring you, by the way.
Spanish Inquisition.
Meeting at his house after school.
You're going into the belly of the beast? Hey, it's not gonna be that bad.
Who knows, you might end up being friends.
- You think? - No, it's too weird.
I mean, my ex-boyfriend hanging out with my boyfriend? - What are you guys gonna talk about? - I can only think of one thing.
So I talked to my guy at the SEC and your clients and they all agree that if you make full restitution by January 1 st - But that means selling the house.
- And avoiding criminal prosecution.
- And jail time.
- I can't sell the house now it's almost the holidays.
I can't do that to Julie and Kaitlin.
They wouldn't have to move out right away.
Just show the house when Julie and Kaitlin are out.
What if she says no? She's on the title too.
What if she won't sell? What choice does she have? She can't afford to live there if you're in jail.
Now that she's got Caleb Nichol in her pocket - You had lunch with him? - No.
I had lunch with Ryan.
Seth was just, you know, there.
I cannot believe you.
Coop, where is your loyalty? - What did he say? - Nothing.
- I'm not getting involved.
- That means he said something.
- What did he say? - Nothing.
I told you.
Hey.
Hello.
What did he say? - What did who say? - Seth.
Oh, it's you.
You're, like, flossing.
At school.
Do you have any idea how much bacteria accumulates between lunch and dinner? No.
But the fact that you do tells me everything.
Look, if you want him, you can have him.
I'm done.
Thanks.
But that's okay.
Right.
Because you couldn't be interested in someone that's interested in me.
No.
Because I couldn't possibly be interested in someone who treats women that way.
So how much bacteria? Like, a lot? A lot.
Thanks.
Hey, I was hoping I'd bump into you.
I wanted to Hi, Summer.
And Anna hanging out together.
That's That's awkward.
- Not really.
- Well, I meant for me.
How are you guys? You guys good? You guys getting along? Yes.
In fact, we were just about to go to the library to do some research.
We were? Yeah.
The library.
- For books.
- Books.
Yeah.
And then we thought we'd go shopping, right? South Coast Plaza? - Sounds good.
Okay.
- All right.
Okay.
That doesn't sound good at all.
- Hey, guys.
- Kirsten.
You made it.
How are you feeling, sweetie? Julie told us you were "under the weather" at Thanksgiving.
- She did? - Oh, well, the holidays can be so stressful.
I could go for a little hair of the dog myself right about now.
We'll see you out there.
- Hey, wait up, guys.
- Julie.
Kirsten, you showed up.
How are you feeling? So did you tell everyone I was drunk at Thanksgiving? Everyone was wondering where you were, so I was at the office working.
Well, hey, it's okay.
We're all friends here.
If we're all friends, why don't you start acting like one? - Hi.
Ryan, isn't it? - Hi.
Luke will be right down.
Come in.
- No! Mine! - Give me! Give it! - Stop! The head! - Just give - Stop it.
- Guys, guys.
This is Luke's friend Ryan.
Ryan, this is Eric and Brad.
- Give it now.
- Stop.
- Who wants a snack? - Me.
Ryan? - Hello.
- Daddy, you're home.
- There they are.
How are you doing? - Can we play some ball later? You know what, kids, I'm just home to drop off Mom's car.
One of the belts was misaligned.
I had them change the oil too.
Sorry, fellas.
You remember Luke's friend Ryan.
They're doing a project together.
- Yeah? What about? - Spanish Inquisition.
Not one of Western civilization's proudest moments.
I was a history major at USC.
Now I sell cars for a living.
Don't listen to him, Ryan.
He owns three dealerships.
- God, Mom.
Brag much? - She's just being proud of me.
Let's just do this.
We got a lot of work.
Yeah, me too.
Gus is outside.
I'll see you tonight.
Ryan, keep him on his toes, please.
Luke, SC-Notre Dame this Saturday.
Thought we'd drive up about noon.
Tailgate.
Yeah, cool.
Ryan, it's gonna be a good game.
You're more than welcome.
- Come on, give it back.
It's not yours! - Guys! So how you wanna do this? I don't know.
I was thinking Because I got books from the library, I pulled some stuff off the Web.
I was thinking we could do, like, a screen show on my PowerBook.
My dad's got a scanner at the office, color LaserJet, PowerPoint.
We could just pull some stuff here and then head over there.
You know, or not.
No, no.
That sounds good.
Yeah.
- Hello? - Hey.
It's me.
Can you talk? Yeah.
I'm just packing some of Marissa's winter things.
I'll drop them by in the morning, if that's okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's great.
- What's going on, Jimmy? - Look, l I had a meeting with Sandy.
And it looks like I have to pay everything back by January 1 st.
- Jimmy, it's the holidays.
- I don't have any other choice.
What are Kaitlin and I supposed to do? Where will we live? Live with your mother or Caleb's.
No, we can't.
And we shouldn't have to.
This is my house too.
And Kaitlin's.
- And we're not selling.
- Julie, I could go to jail.
Maybe you should, Jimmy.
Have you ever thought about that? Maybe you deserve to go to jail.
Dad? Hello? Dad, you here? I don't know.
He must've gone home.
Nice, huh? They're giving these away.
Oh, nice.
It's in.
Check it out: Dude, you have to get in.
Wow, man.
The stereo's insane.
Is that your dad? Yeah, and that's his business partner, Gus.
We should go say hey.
- Lf you tell anyone - I won't.
- Go! Let's go! - Luke? Luke! Sorry I'm late.
I slept through my alarm.
No, it's okay.
How'd it go last night? You didn't call me, so - We were working pretty late.
- Did you meet his mom? She's really great.
- Seemed nice, yeah.
- And I'm sure his dad was out of town? - No, he was there.
- Really? Because he's never around.
He's got these dealerships in other cities, and he's always traveling.
What? Nothing.
Just - I need some coffee.
- Okay.
I knew you guys would talk.
So, what did he say about me? Nothing.
Fine.
I'll go grab Seth.
Wait.
Something happened last night.
But I told Luke I wouldn't say anything.
Is it? Is he okay? What is it? Ryan, you can tell me.
You can't tell anyone, not even Summer.
- Especially Summer.
- I won't.
I swear.
- Because I'm not even telling Seth.
- You can trust me.
I won't say a word.
I promise.
Well, apparently some of us are on Central time.
Yeah, sorry.
So how was your date with Luke, your new study buddy? - It was fine.
Something for the road? - Yes, I'd like something.
It's called gossip.
Was there any cross-burning? Any goose-stepping? Small Taiwanese family locked in the basement? - Not so much.
Fruit? Bagel? - Yeah, a bagel would be good.
Yes.
So would some information.
You went behind enemy lines.
Come on, the parents.
What's the deal? Cyborgs? Supremacists? Vegans? We went to his dad's dealership, looked at cars.
You guys friends now? First Summer and Anna.
Now you and Luke.
They came out of the bathroom together.
Then they went off to the library together.
Together.
Stranger things have happened.
Two people who hate each other, brought together by their hatred of me.
It's like Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader teaming up to destroy the Emperor.
- Hey, we should talk about - We got nothing to talk about.
- Our presentation? - I'll finish it myself.
All right.
- What are you looking at, queer? - Somebody writing you new material? All right, go with what works.
I I gotta get to Spanish.
So I guess this means you and Luke are not friends, which I find oddly comforting.
I promise.
So, hey.
That's a big test.
You know what? Don't.
Hey, wanna? Over there? - Hey.
- Hey.
- Is this seat taken? - It is now.
Cool.
- So did you study for the bio thing? - Kind of.
Well, I didn't.
Don't worry.
All you have to remember is: Kittens prefer cream or fish, generally speaking.
Excuse me? Kingdom.
Phylum.
Class.
Order.
Family.
Genus.
Species.
- You're, like, really smart.
- Compared to what? Well, me.
- Summer, you're smart.
- Well, smart enough to sit next to you.
What was that kitten thing again? Kittens prefer cream or fish, generally speaking.
Or, if you're not a cat person: King Philip comes over for good sex.
- Definitely not a cat person.
- Right.
That's really good.
Thanks.
I am so sore.
Are you? I'm fine.
You must not have stretched properly.
Are you okay? Sandy told me about the house.
Nothing to tell.
I'm not selling.
Julie Julie.
If you and Kaitlin need somewhere to live I can find you a house.
My dad can find you a house.
Not according to him.
Not without compromising our relationship.
He said that? So I told him if that's true, we don't have to have a relationship.
So now we don't.
I had no idea.
I'm so sorry.
Wow.
You'd think you'd be celebrating.
Go ahead.
Tell everybody that Caleb Nichol dumped me my husband's going to jail, and I have no place to live.
What you waiting for? I told them about Thanksgiving.
Now you can get even.
If you need anything, let me know.
Oh, my God! You guys, I just ran into Betsy on the elliptical trainer.
She was getting her car serviced this morning.
Okay, come here.
Okay, you can't tell anyone but you are not going to believe this.
Okay I've never seen you hit the ball like that, Jimmy.
You crushed it.
Creative visualization.
- Julie's head.
- Get a realtor, show the house.
- But she - Julie will change her tune.
Once word spreads that the SEC is investigating her as a possible co-conspirator, forget about it.
They are? I can make a call.
Thank you.
- I'll get this one.
- Thanks.
You know, I gotta say, you've just been incredibly cool with me.
I You know, considering everything.
You know, I really appreciate, you know, you just not saying anything and I know you only heard it from Kirsten's point of view but I want you to hear it from me.
That whole thing was just a huge mistake.
I'm really sorry.
Jimmy, what the hell are you talking about? - Kirsten didn't tell you? - Tell me what? You know, when Julie kicked me out I was lost, and Kirsten came over to help me set up my place.
And I kissed her.
Now, she was totally mortified.
I And I apologized immediately.
She left, like faster than that.
I mean And she didn't tell you, because she didn't She didn't want to hurt you.
It meant nothing.
So she didn't want to hurt you over Over nothing.
Which now I've done.
Creative visualization, Jimmy.
I'm trying hard not to see your head as something I should hit.
Look, I'm really sorry.
I, you know I just didn't want there to be any secrets between us.
Mission accomplished.
- Hey.
- I've some news, but I'm only telling you.
Oh, my God.
Coop, you are not going to believe this.
Did you hear about Luke's dad? I haven't heard about Luke's dad.
- Hey, I have crazy news for you.
- It's about your woman problems.
No, it's definitely not.
I heard his dad's favorite show is Dawson 's Crack.
I heard it was Ever-woody.
Wait, Ryan.
- Hey, man, look - Who'd you tell? Listen, I'm sorry.
You're dead.
- Everyone knows.
- Yeah, well, who'd you tell? What? I didn't tell any - Was it Summer? I asked you not to - Why do you just assume it was me? Because I'm the only one who knew, and you're the only one I told.
I didn't tell anyone.
I never should've told you in the first place.
Probably not, since obviously you don't trust me.
You know what, find your own ride home.
Hey.
Hey.
It's amazing about the Wards.
How fast word travels.
Sometimes.
- I'd ask you if everything's okay - It's not.
Which leads me to my next question.
It's well-covered territory with us.
Jimmy Cooper.
I I want to do my best not to sound too high-school, but He kissed you.
He told you? He didn't want there to be any secrets between us.
Apparently you don't feel the same way.
- Of course I do.
It's just that it meant nothing.
Putting my own skepticism about that remark aside for just a moment if it meant nothing then why didn't you tell me? - Because I knew it would upset you.
- Thank you.
Because I feel much so better having heard it from someone else.
- I'm sorry.
- All this time this suspicion and paranoia about me and my co-worker and you're sitting on this.
- Sandy Sandy It means nothing.
It means something to me.
Okay, it's just that, after all the years of Luke calling me gay it's great that the shoe's on the other Actually, it's on his dad's foot, but you get the symmetry.
It's not funny.
It's the end of their marriage.
The life they knew is over.
- I heard Meredith's filing for divorce.
- I was over there.
- They seemed really happy.
- Yeah? By "happy," do you mean gay? Seth, cut it out.
I mean, how can you be married for that long and keep that kind of a secret? You'd be surprised.
But eventually the secrets come out.
And some marriages can handle the truth, and some can't.
Yeah, well, I'm sure everyone will be so accepting seeing as we're such a liberal, tolerant bunch.
That was at the expense of Orange County, not Luke's dad.
His big gay dad.
Did you see his arms? What straight guy has arms like that? Not my husband.
Charles and I went to see The Lion King with the Wards, and Carson cried.
Wept.
All these years I've known him, he's never once made a pass at me.
I feel so much better.
- I can't be here right now.
- Have you eaten? - What do you have in mind? - Fried food and beer.
First round's on me.
All right, if everyone will take his or her seat, we shall begin.
Anyone seen Luke? Okay, let's open our books to page 59 the Chesapeake and the West Indian colonies.
So you should come over, like, at 4.
Yeah.
I've got lit mag after school, but I can come by after that.
Okay, yeah, the flash cards should be done by then.
Hi, you guys.
Can I speak to you for one minute, please? Because I owe you both an enormous apology.
I guess, technically, I owe two apologies each one tailored to the specific wrongs visited upon the specific person.
But since you two seem to be a package deal - Cohen! - Right.
I'm sorry.
And I'm sorry.
And I'm also sorry that I apologized to her first.
It's just, chronologically, l - Cohen.
- Right.
Stupid, I know.
Well, let me start by saying nothing in my life nothing, prepared me for the events of that fateful Thanksgiving day.
But I'm not gonna make any excuses for what I did.
I just wanna say one thing in my defense, which is: You can't really blame me for wanting the company of either of you two.
And I know that I hurt your feelings and I feel bad about that.
I do, but please believe me when I say that it wasn't intentional, okay? I would never do anything to ruin our friendship or "-ships.
" I know I have no right to ask I just hope that some day you can both forgive me.
Okay.
So, yeah, thanks for your time.
You know, I never liked flash cards.
They never worked for me.
Yeah, you know, I think I study better alone.
That's good, because I think lit mag is going to go late.
- Maybe next test? - Maybe.
It's like they enjoy it.
Well, I can't exactly claim that I didn't once see the fun in witnessing the fall of the rich and fabulous.
Then I became homeless, and suddenly not so funny.
I don't really think that my dad would let you go homeless.
Yeah, well, when I even mentioned that I might have to sell the house, he went into a panic.
You'd have thought I was asking for a ring.
- That's so him.
- And when I tried to explain - He didn't listen.
- Not a word.
Can I ask you a question? Do you like that he calls you Kiki? - Hate it.
- He kept calling me Juju like that candy that gets in your teeth.
I begged him to stop.
- When he gets something in his head - It has to be his way.
Always.
It's just who he is.
He can't spend longer than three months with the same woman before he freaks.
He freaked, all right.
And I wish I could tell him that I know what he's doing.
He's trying to replace my mom.
But he can't.
And I just wish that he would stop trying and be happy.
- But you can't talk to my dad.
- No, I know.
And the important thing is that he finds someone to share his life with.
Enjoy these years.
I just don't know if he's ever gonna figure that out.
- Hi.
- Hey.
So that apology aside from being the first I've ever received from a boy was also the nicest.
Well.
Well I meant it, so, good.
So, what are you doing Saturday? - Hey, Seth.
- Hey.
- You going to lit mag? - Yeah.
Wanna walk together? - Do you? - Yes.
That was so sweet, what you said earlier.
And I could tell you really meant it.
We know sincerity isn't your strong point.
- I'm working on it.
- I'd like to help.
What are you doing Saturday night? Well, in the new spirit of sincerity I have a date with Summer.
Yeah, so What are you doing Friday night? What am I doing Friday night? - Hi.
Why are you here? - Same reason you are.
- Hey.
- You okay, man? Look, man I owe you an apology.
It wasn't you who said anything.
My dad, after we saw him, he came out to my mom.
She wigged and called a couple friends, and then everybody in Newport knew.
Don't worry about it.
I just wanted to see how you were doing.
Hey, Mom.
Meredith, please.
Luke, could I? Luke, please.
My entire life has been one giant lie.
Everything I thought I knew about my dad.
I mean, all those business trips he took.
Or how about when he missed one of my games because he was working late.
I don't even know if this guy was the first one or if there were others.
- I can't even think about it.
- Look, I know it's hard.
But after everything I've been through with my dad, we've never been closer.
I mean, we're finally able to be honest with each other and talk to each other.
Maybe you could have that with your dad.
What he has to say, I don't wanna hear.
I'm gonna go grab a jacket.
It's cold.
Well, even if he wasn't honest with you he still cared.
He did make it to some of your games.
Whatever.
What does it even matter? It matters.
Especially if you had a dad who didn't make it to any of your games.
Who didn't even know what sport you played or cared.
Everything is just so screwed up.
Isn't this romantic? A couple of Harbor Butt Pirates.
Is there a problem? Other than the fact that we kick your ass every year? No, dude.
No problem at all.
Didn't mean to interrupt your date.
Fag.
What did you call me? Yo, dude, save that for your boyfriend.
- Okay, let's just not do this.
- How about a black eye for the queer guy? Why don't you just run to your daddy.
Julie, hi.
I just had to come over and say thank you.
- For what? - I got home today.
There was a message on my machine, "It's Caleb, call me.
" Whatever.
- Well - I know.
But I call him, right? Just in case he's ready to apologize, which, P.
S.
, he's not.
So he starts again with the excuses, and he's feeling pressured.
- Well, because it's all about him.
- Exactly.
But then I remembered what you said at lunch, so I let him have it.
- You did? - I told him he's scared.
Life's too short.
- Spend it with someone you enjoy.
- You did? Don't worry, he doesn't think it came from you.
But the important thing is, it worked.
- How so? - Kirsten he's buying my house as an investment.
Jimmy's not going to jail.
Kaitlin and I have a place to live.
And who knows maybe some day your next-door neighbor will be your dad.
I don't know what to say.
Well, you might want to water that.
Bye.
Here, you look like a strong, healthy boy.
Give me a hand.
Hey, Seth.
Ask your mother who was at the door.
Mom, who was at the door? - Julie Cooper, bearing gifts.
- Julie Cooper, Dad.
Ask your mother what she wanted.
Dad wants to know who What she wanted.
Dad, better idea, ask her yourself.
Come on.
Julie Cooper sold her house.
To my father.
Now that I wish you hadn't told me.
- Hey.
- Oh, my God.
Are you guys okay? - I didn't do it this time.
- I'm gonna get the first-aid kit.
Come on, have a seat.
Hey, what happened? I guess bad news travels fast.
- Have you called your folks? - No.
- I'll call them.
- No.
I'd rather not call them, if it's okay.
- All right.
He can stay in the guest room.
- Sure.
- I'm gonna call his dad.
- Okay.
So do you guys need a ride to school in the morning? You don't mind? Yeah, well, you were pretty great with Luke today.
- I never should've told you.
- Because I'll tell everyone, right? - No, because he asked me not to.
- But the unwritten rule of relationships says you're allowed to tell your girlfriend.
Because everything you say to me stays with me, and vice versa.
So you didn't tell anybody I went off on you yesterday when I thought you'd told? No.
Well, I mean, just Summer.
Will you tell Summer about this? No, this will stay just between us.
Carson, are you sure I can't get you anything to eat? Some Scotch? Xanax? No, thank you.
- He's not coming down.
- Well, he's half-asleep.
Maybe it'd be better to talk in the morning.
He's not gonna want to talk to me.
I lied to him.
I lied to everyone.
I The truth is, I love his mom.
I always have.
And I love our family.
And I just didn't want to hurt anybody.
- And now he's up there hurting.
- Hey, if there's anything we can do No.
No, I've embarrassed my family enough.
I think the best thing I could do now is to disappear.
No, I think that'd be the worst thing you could do.
I mean it's what you've been doing all along.
But coming out and being honest with yourself and your family, in this town it's the bravest thing you could've done.
Look, it's just my opinion but you're the kind of father any kid would be proud of.
Well, I should go.
Dad.
Just let me grab my shoes.
I'll go with you.
So while we're being honest Oh, God.
There's more? That was a pretty impressive speech you made in there.
Well, I'm prone to impressive speeches.
Right up until that line, yeah.
- From now on, you'll tell all your secrets? - You gonna tell me all yours? - You know, I don't think I have any.
- Really? - Yeah.
- You sure? - I think.
- Nothing from your past? No secret fantasies? No hidden porn stash on the PC? No, because obviously you already know about that one.
There's no way you can know everything about someone.
- That's what keeps it interesting.
- Well, it hasn't been uninteresting.
At a certain point, you have to trust the other person.
- That's what love is.
- Okay.
So you'll have to trust that you can tell me things that I may not wanna hear.
We can handle it.
Like Jimmy Cooper kissed me? Trust me.
- This is gonna be weird.
- Yep.
Everybody's gonna be staring at me and talking.
Yep.
Maybe I can just blow the whole thing off go hit the beach, give everybody time to get it out of their systems.
It doesn't work like that.
It's been months.
I'm still the kid from Chino that burned a house down.
And I'm still the girl who tried to kill herself in Mexico.
And I'm still the I'm still Seth Cohen.
Man, this is gonna suck.
Yep.
Well, welcome to my world.
C: Know what I like about rich kids? - Nothing.
- Let me meet you upstairs.
- Summer? - Anna? - Seth? - The gruesome twosome.
You spent the weekend painting Jimmy's house, and I didn't say a word because I knew nothing was going on.
- Of course.
Do I have a fever? I think I might have a fever and/or the chills.
- Since when? - Since recently.
So you're not feeling well? No, I feel fine.
Just my head's a little achy and my stomach's kind of weird.
I'm okay.
Come here.
- You don't feel warm.
- What about cold or clammy? - Maybe you've got the summer flu.
- Yeah.
It's November, but it's possible.
Maybe you need some Anna-biotics.
- Do you not want to go to school? - No, Dad.
I want to go to school.
Okay? - I'm just worried about infecting others.
- You're right.
We should just take you straight to the emergency room.
Just to be sure.
Okay.
Or I could stay home and try and sleep it off.
Or you could go to school, face Summer and Anna and apologize.
First of all, no.
Second of all, no.
Why would I? Oh, the Summer flu.
I just got it.
That was good.
It's not my fault that they both tried to kiss me on Thanksgiving.
What was I supposed to do? Not kiss back? Say "No, stop"? Risk hurting their feelings? Well, it seems you already did hurt their feelings.
Yeah, perhaps I did, but what about my feelings, okay? I was the one who was assaulted.
I'm the victim.
Hey, how come you're not dressed? You're gonna be late.
And so are you.
Or is that what ladies are wearing these days to Yogalates? Taryn called to remind you that today is the first day of your Yogalates workshop.
- Okay.
Mom, Yogalates? - I don't know if I'm gonna go.
- I'm not feeling well.
- See? It's contagious.
You know, honey, you might still be a little hung-over.
From what? I don't know.
Getting drunk and passing out on Thanksgiving? Hey, I had two glasses of wine.
Three.
I'm sure Julie Cooper has spread word around town that I now have a drinking problem.
Which is why you have to go to Yogalates.
Because you know those chatty Newpsies will assume you're sleeping off a bender.
And Summer and Anna will assume you're afraid of them.
Hey, I'm not afraid of Summer and Anna, all right? - Well, I'm not afraid of Anna.
- So you're going to school.
- And you're going to Yogalates.
- You like saying that.
Yogalates? I kind of do.
- Yogalates.
- Yogalates.
You know what I want to know, is why these two are so smug.
Because for once, they didn't do anything wrong? That's true.
- Here's to you.
- Back at you.
Enjoy it, boys, because knowing the two of you it won't last long.
- Yogalates.
Your class presentations will account for one-third of your final grade along with your term papers and, of course, the final exam.
I'll be dividing the class into two-person teams.
Each team will be responsible for presenting a detailed account of a pivotal event or period in European history.
I've already had quite a few partnership requests however, in fairness to the other students I will select the teams myself at random.
Lauren and Kenny, the French Revolution.
Ryan and Luke, the Spanish Inquisition.
Stephanie and Bobby, the Protestant Reformation.
Stephanie? Are you listening? Stephanie? Miss Savage, please.
- You and Luke? - I know.
Holy unholy alliances.
This is why I asked Mr.
Bendis a week ago if we could be partners.
- To avoid a situation like this.
- Why? Who did you get? Marcy Ross and I are doing Cort Ás and the Aztecs.
I like Marcy Ross.
She's got a good smile on her.
It's innocent but it's knowing.
- You're going after Marcy now too? - Hey.
I'm the victim here, okay? Don't tell me, tell Summer and Anna.
And, hey, eventually you might want to tell Marcy too.
What are you and Luke doing? That was me ignoring you, by the way.
Spanish Inquisition.
Meeting at his house after school.
You're going into the belly of the beast? Hey, it's not gonna be that bad.
Who knows, you might end up being friends.
- You think? - No, it's too weird.
I mean, my ex-boyfriend hanging out with my boyfriend? - What are you guys gonna talk about? - I can only think of one thing.
So I talked to my guy at the SEC and your clients and they all agree that if you make full restitution by January 1 st - But that means selling the house.
- And avoiding criminal prosecution.
- And jail time.
- I can't sell the house now it's almost the holidays.
I can't do that to Julie and Kaitlin.
They wouldn't have to move out right away.
Just show the house when Julie and Kaitlin are out.
What if she says no? She's on the title too.
What if she won't sell? What choice does she have? She can't afford to live there if you're in jail.
Now that she's got Caleb Nichol in her pocket - You had lunch with him? - No.
I had lunch with Ryan.
Seth was just, you know, there.
I cannot believe you.
Coop, where is your loyalty? - What did he say? - Nothing.
- I'm not getting involved.
- That means he said something.
- What did he say? - Nothing.
I told you.
Hey.
Hello.
What did he say? - What did who say? - Seth.
Oh, it's you.
You're, like, flossing.
At school.
Do you have any idea how much bacteria accumulates between lunch and dinner? No.
But the fact that you do tells me everything.
Look, if you want him, you can have him.
I'm done.
Thanks.
But that's okay.
Right.
Because you couldn't be interested in someone that's interested in me.
No.
Because I couldn't possibly be interested in someone who treats women that way.
So how much bacteria? Like, a lot? A lot.
Thanks.
Hey, I was hoping I'd bump into you.
I wanted to Hi, Summer.
And Anna hanging out together.
That's That's awkward.
- Not really.
- Well, I meant for me.
How are you guys? You guys good? You guys getting along? Yes.
In fact, we were just about to go to the library to do some research.
We were? Yeah.
The library.
- For books.
- Books.
Yeah.
And then we thought we'd go shopping, right? South Coast Plaza? - Sounds good.
Okay.
- All right.
Okay.
That doesn't sound good at all.
- Hey, guys.
- Kirsten.
You made it.
How are you feeling, sweetie? Julie told us you were "under the weather" at Thanksgiving.
- She did? - Oh, well, the holidays can be so stressful.
I could go for a little hair of the dog myself right about now.
We'll see you out there.
- Hey, wait up, guys.
- Julie.
Kirsten, you showed up.
How are you feeling? So did you tell everyone I was drunk at Thanksgiving? Everyone was wondering where you were, so I was at the office working.
Well, hey, it's okay.
We're all friends here.
If we're all friends, why don't you start acting like one? - Hi.
Ryan, isn't it? - Hi.
Luke will be right down.
Come in.
- No! Mine! - Give me! Give it! - Stop! The head! - Just give - Stop it.
- Guys, guys.
This is Luke's friend Ryan.
Ryan, this is Eric and Brad.
- Give it now.
- Stop.
- Who wants a snack? - Me.
Ryan? - Hello.
- Daddy, you're home.
- There they are.
How are you doing? - Can we play some ball later? You know what, kids, I'm just home to drop off Mom's car.
One of the belts was misaligned.
I had them change the oil too.
Sorry, fellas.
You remember Luke's friend Ryan.
They're doing a project together.
- Yeah? What about? - Spanish Inquisition.
Not one of Western civilization's proudest moments.
I was a history major at USC.
Now I sell cars for a living.
Don't listen to him, Ryan.
He owns three dealerships.
- God, Mom.
Brag much? - She's just being proud of me.
Let's just do this.
We got a lot of work.
Yeah, me too.
Gus is outside.
I'll see you tonight.
Ryan, keep him on his toes, please.
Luke, SC-Notre Dame this Saturday.
Thought we'd drive up about noon.
Tailgate.
Yeah, cool.
Ryan, it's gonna be a good game.
You're more than welcome.
- Come on, give it back.
It's not yours! - Guys! So how you wanna do this? I don't know.
I was thinking Because I got books from the library, I pulled some stuff off the Web.
I was thinking we could do, like, a screen show on my PowerBook.
My dad's got a scanner at the office, color LaserJet, PowerPoint.
We could just pull some stuff here and then head over there.
You know, or not.
No, no.
That sounds good.
Yeah.
- Hello? - Hey.
It's me.
Can you talk? Yeah.
I'm just packing some of Marissa's winter things.
I'll drop them by in the morning, if that's okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's great.
- What's going on, Jimmy? - Look, l I had a meeting with Sandy.
And it looks like I have to pay everything back by January 1 st.
- Jimmy, it's the holidays.
- I don't have any other choice.
What are Kaitlin and I supposed to do? Where will we live? Live with your mother or Caleb's.
No, we can't.
And we shouldn't have to.
This is my house too.
And Kaitlin's.
- And we're not selling.
- Julie, I could go to jail.
Maybe you should, Jimmy.
Have you ever thought about that? Maybe you deserve to go to jail.
Dad? Hello? Dad, you here? I don't know.
He must've gone home.
Nice, huh? They're giving these away.
Oh, nice.
It's in.
Check it out: Dude, you have to get in.
Wow, man.
The stereo's insane.
Is that your dad? Yeah, and that's his business partner, Gus.
We should go say hey.
- Lf you tell anyone - I won't.
- Go! Let's go! - Luke? Luke! Sorry I'm late.
I slept through my alarm.
No, it's okay.
How'd it go last night? You didn't call me, so - We were working pretty late.
- Did you meet his mom? She's really great.
- Seemed nice, yeah.
- And I'm sure his dad was out of town? - No, he was there.
- Really? Because he's never around.
He's got these dealerships in other cities, and he's always traveling.
What? Nothing.
Just - I need some coffee.
- Okay.
I knew you guys would talk.
So, what did he say about me? Nothing.
Fine.
I'll go grab Seth.
Wait.
Something happened last night.
But I told Luke I wouldn't say anything.
Is it? Is he okay? What is it? Ryan, you can tell me.
You can't tell anyone, not even Summer.
- Especially Summer.
- I won't.
I swear.
- Because I'm not even telling Seth.
- You can trust me.
I won't say a word.
I promise.
Well, apparently some of us are on Central time.
Yeah, sorry.
So how was your date with Luke, your new study buddy? - It was fine.
Something for the road? - Yes, I'd like something.
It's called gossip.
Was there any cross-burning? Any goose-stepping? Small Taiwanese family locked in the basement? - Not so much.
Fruit? Bagel? - Yeah, a bagel would be good.
Yes.
So would some information.
You went behind enemy lines.
Come on, the parents.
What's the deal? Cyborgs? Supremacists? Vegans? We went to his dad's dealership, looked at cars.
You guys friends now? First Summer and Anna.
Now you and Luke.
They came out of the bathroom together.
Then they went off to the library together.
Together.
Stranger things have happened.
Two people who hate each other, brought together by their hatred of me.
It's like Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader teaming up to destroy the Emperor.
- Hey, we should talk about - We got nothing to talk about.
- Our presentation? - I'll finish it myself.
All right.
- What are you looking at, queer? - Somebody writing you new material? All right, go with what works.
I I gotta get to Spanish.
So I guess this means you and Luke are not friends, which I find oddly comforting.
I promise.
So, hey.
That's a big test.
You know what? Don't.
Hey, wanna? Over there? - Hey.
- Hey.
- Is this seat taken? - It is now.
Cool.
- So did you study for the bio thing? - Kind of.
Well, I didn't.
Don't worry.
All you have to remember is: Kittens prefer cream or fish, generally speaking.
Excuse me? Kingdom.
Phylum.
Class.
Order.
Family.
Genus.
Species.
- You're, like, really smart.
- Compared to what? Well, me.
- Summer, you're smart.
- Well, smart enough to sit next to you.
What was that kitten thing again? Kittens prefer cream or fish, generally speaking.
Or, if you're not a cat person: King Philip comes over for good sex.
- Definitely not a cat person.
- Right.
That's really good.
Thanks.
I am so sore.
Are you? I'm fine.
You must not have stretched properly.
Are you okay? Sandy told me about the house.
Nothing to tell.
I'm not selling.
Julie Julie.
If you and Kaitlin need somewhere to live I can find you a house.
My dad can find you a house.
Not according to him.
Not without compromising our relationship.
He said that? So I told him if that's true, we don't have to have a relationship.
So now we don't.
I had no idea.
I'm so sorry.
Wow.
You'd think you'd be celebrating.
Go ahead.
Tell everybody that Caleb Nichol dumped me my husband's going to jail, and I have no place to live.
What you waiting for? I told them about Thanksgiving.
Now you can get even.
If you need anything, let me know.
Oh, my God! You guys, I just ran into Betsy on the elliptical trainer.
She was getting her car serviced this morning.
Okay, come here.
Okay, you can't tell anyone but you are not going to believe this.
Okay I've never seen you hit the ball like that, Jimmy.
You crushed it.
Creative visualization.
- Julie's head.
- Get a realtor, show the house.
- But she - Julie will change her tune.
Once word spreads that the SEC is investigating her as a possible co-conspirator, forget about it.
They are? I can make a call.
Thank you.
- I'll get this one.
- Thanks.
You know, I gotta say, you've just been incredibly cool with me.
I You know, considering everything.
You know, I really appreciate, you know, you just not saying anything and I know you only heard it from Kirsten's point of view but I want you to hear it from me.
That whole thing was just a huge mistake.
I'm really sorry.
Jimmy, what the hell are you talking about? - Kirsten didn't tell you? - Tell me what? You know, when Julie kicked me out I was lost, and Kirsten came over to help me set up my place.
And I kissed her.
Now, she was totally mortified.
I And I apologized immediately.
She left, like faster than that.
I mean And she didn't tell you, because she didn't She didn't want to hurt you.
It meant nothing.
So she didn't want to hurt you over Over nothing.
Which now I've done.
Creative visualization, Jimmy.
I'm trying hard not to see your head as something I should hit.
Look, I'm really sorry.
I, you know I just didn't want there to be any secrets between us.
Mission accomplished.
- Hey.
- I've some news, but I'm only telling you.
Oh, my God.
Coop, you are not going to believe this.
Did you hear about Luke's dad? I haven't heard about Luke's dad.
- Hey, I have crazy news for you.
- It's about your woman problems.
No, it's definitely not.
I heard his dad's favorite show is Dawson 's Crack.
I heard it was Ever-woody.
Wait, Ryan.
- Hey, man, look - Who'd you tell? Listen, I'm sorry.
You're dead.
- Everyone knows.
- Yeah, well, who'd you tell? What? I didn't tell any - Was it Summer? I asked you not to - Why do you just assume it was me? Because I'm the only one who knew, and you're the only one I told.
I didn't tell anyone.
I never should've told you in the first place.
Probably not, since obviously you don't trust me.
You know what, find your own ride home.
Hey.
Hey.
It's amazing about the Wards.
How fast word travels.
Sometimes.
- I'd ask you if everything's okay - It's not.
Which leads me to my next question.
It's well-covered territory with us.
Jimmy Cooper.
I I want to do my best not to sound too high-school, but He kissed you.
He told you? He didn't want there to be any secrets between us.
Apparently you don't feel the same way.
- Of course I do.
It's just that it meant nothing.
Putting my own skepticism about that remark aside for just a moment if it meant nothing then why didn't you tell me? - Because I knew it would upset you.
- Thank you.
Because I feel much so better having heard it from someone else.
- I'm sorry.
- All this time this suspicion and paranoia about me and my co-worker and you're sitting on this.
- Sandy Sandy It means nothing.
It means something to me.
Okay, it's just that, after all the years of Luke calling me gay it's great that the shoe's on the other Actually, it's on his dad's foot, but you get the symmetry.
It's not funny.
It's the end of their marriage.
The life they knew is over.
- I heard Meredith's filing for divorce.
- I was over there.
- They seemed really happy.
- Yeah? By "happy," do you mean gay? Seth, cut it out.
I mean, how can you be married for that long and keep that kind of a secret? You'd be surprised.
But eventually the secrets come out.
And some marriages can handle the truth, and some can't.
Yeah, well, I'm sure everyone will be so accepting seeing as we're such a liberal, tolerant bunch.
That was at the expense of Orange County, not Luke's dad.
His big gay dad.
Did you see his arms? What straight guy has arms like that? Not my husband.
Charles and I went to see The Lion King with the Wards, and Carson cried.
Wept.
All these years I've known him, he's never once made a pass at me.
I feel so much better.
- I can't be here right now.
- Have you eaten? - What do you have in mind? - Fried food and beer.
First round's on me.
All right, if everyone will take his or her seat, we shall begin.
Anyone seen Luke? Okay, let's open our books to page 59 the Chesapeake and the West Indian colonies.
So you should come over, like, at 4.
Yeah.
I've got lit mag after school, but I can come by after that.
Okay, yeah, the flash cards should be done by then.
Hi, you guys.
Can I speak to you for one minute, please? Because I owe you both an enormous apology.
I guess, technically, I owe two apologies each one tailored to the specific wrongs visited upon the specific person.
But since you two seem to be a package deal - Cohen! - Right.
I'm sorry.
And I'm sorry.
And I'm also sorry that I apologized to her first.
It's just, chronologically, l - Cohen.
- Right.
Stupid, I know.
Well, let me start by saying nothing in my life nothing, prepared me for the events of that fateful Thanksgiving day.
But I'm not gonna make any excuses for what I did.
I just wanna say one thing in my defense, which is: You can't really blame me for wanting the company of either of you two.
And I know that I hurt your feelings and I feel bad about that.
I do, but please believe me when I say that it wasn't intentional, okay? I would never do anything to ruin our friendship or "-ships.
" I know I have no right to ask I just hope that some day you can both forgive me.
Okay.
So, yeah, thanks for your time.
You know, I never liked flash cards.
They never worked for me.
Yeah, you know, I think I study better alone.
That's good, because I think lit mag is going to go late.
- Maybe next test? - Maybe.
It's like they enjoy it.
Well, I can't exactly claim that I didn't once see the fun in witnessing the fall of the rich and fabulous.
Then I became homeless, and suddenly not so funny.
I don't really think that my dad would let you go homeless.
Yeah, well, when I even mentioned that I might have to sell the house, he went into a panic.
You'd have thought I was asking for a ring.
- That's so him.
- And when I tried to explain - He didn't listen.
- Not a word.
Can I ask you a question? Do you like that he calls you Kiki? - Hate it.
- He kept calling me Juju like that candy that gets in your teeth.
I begged him to stop.
- When he gets something in his head - It has to be his way.
Always.
It's just who he is.
He can't spend longer than three months with the same woman before he freaks.
He freaked, all right.
And I wish I could tell him that I know what he's doing.
He's trying to replace my mom.
But he can't.
And I just wish that he would stop trying and be happy.
- But you can't talk to my dad.
- No, I know.
And the important thing is that he finds someone to share his life with.
Enjoy these years.
I just don't know if he's ever gonna figure that out.
- Hi.
- Hey.
So that apology aside from being the first I've ever received from a boy was also the nicest.
Well.
Well I meant it, so, good.
So, what are you doing Saturday? - Hey, Seth.
- Hey.
- You going to lit mag? - Yeah.
Wanna walk together? - Do you? - Yes.
That was so sweet, what you said earlier.
And I could tell you really meant it.
We know sincerity isn't your strong point.
- I'm working on it.
- I'd like to help.
What are you doing Saturday night? Well, in the new spirit of sincerity I have a date with Summer.
Yeah, so What are you doing Friday night? What am I doing Friday night? - Hi.
Why are you here? - Same reason you are.
- Hey.
- You okay, man? Look, man I owe you an apology.
It wasn't you who said anything.
My dad, after we saw him, he came out to my mom.
She wigged and called a couple friends, and then everybody in Newport knew.
Don't worry about it.
I just wanted to see how you were doing.
Hey, Mom.
Meredith, please.
Luke, could I? Luke, please.
My entire life has been one giant lie.
Everything I thought I knew about my dad.
I mean, all those business trips he took.
Or how about when he missed one of my games because he was working late.
I don't even know if this guy was the first one or if there were others.
- I can't even think about it.
- Look, I know it's hard.
But after everything I've been through with my dad, we've never been closer.
I mean, we're finally able to be honest with each other and talk to each other.
Maybe you could have that with your dad.
What he has to say, I don't wanna hear.
I'm gonna go grab a jacket.
It's cold.
Well, even if he wasn't honest with you he still cared.
He did make it to some of your games.
Whatever.
What does it even matter? It matters.
Especially if you had a dad who didn't make it to any of your games.
Who didn't even know what sport you played or cared.
Everything is just so screwed up.
Isn't this romantic? A couple of Harbor Butt Pirates.
Is there a problem? Other than the fact that we kick your ass every year? No, dude.
No problem at all.
Didn't mean to interrupt your date.
Fag.
What did you call me? Yo, dude, save that for your boyfriend.
- Okay, let's just not do this.
- How about a black eye for the queer guy? Why don't you just run to your daddy.
Julie, hi.
I just had to come over and say thank you.
- For what? - I got home today.
There was a message on my machine, "It's Caleb, call me.
" Whatever.
- Well - I know.
But I call him, right? Just in case he's ready to apologize, which, P.
S.
, he's not.
So he starts again with the excuses, and he's feeling pressured.
- Well, because it's all about him.
- Exactly.
But then I remembered what you said at lunch, so I let him have it.
- You did? - I told him he's scared.
Life's too short.
- Spend it with someone you enjoy.
- You did? Don't worry, he doesn't think it came from you.
But the important thing is, it worked.
- How so? - Kirsten he's buying my house as an investment.
Jimmy's not going to jail.
Kaitlin and I have a place to live.
And who knows maybe some day your next-door neighbor will be your dad.
I don't know what to say.
Well, you might want to water that.
Bye.
Here, you look like a strong, healthy boy.
Give me a hand.
Hey, Seth.
Ask your mother who was at the door.
Mom, who was at the door? - Julie Cooper, bearing gifts.
- Julie Cooper, Dad.
Ask your mother what she wanted.
Dad wants to know who What she wanted.
Dad, better idea, ask her yourself.
Come on.
Julie Cooper sold her house.
To my father.
Now that I wish you hadn't told me.
- Hey.
- Oh, my God.
Are you guys okay? - I didn't do it this time.
- I'm gonna get the first-aid kit.
Come on, have a seat.
Hey, what happened? I guess bad news travels fast.
- Have you called your folks? - No.
- I'll call them.
- No.
I'd rather not call them, if it's okay.
- All right.
He can stay in the guest room.
- Sure.
- I'm gonna call his dad.
- Okay.
So do you guys need a ride to school in the morning? You don't mind? Yeah, well, you were pretty great with Luke today.
- I never should've told you.
- Because I'll tell everyone, right? - No, because he asked me not to.
- But the unwritten rule of relationships says you're allowed to tell your girlfriend.
Because everything you say to me stays with me, and vice versa.
So you didn't tell anybody I went off on you yesterday when I thought you'd told? No.
Well, I mean, just Summer.
Will you tell Summer about this? No, this will stay just between us.
Carson, are you sure I can't get you anything to eat? Some Scotch? Xanax? No, thank you.
- He's not coming down.
- Well, he's half-asleep.
Maybe it'd be better to talk in the morning.
He's not gonna want to talk to me.
I lied to him.
I lied to everyone.
I The truth is, I love his mom.
I always have.
And I love our family.
And I just didn't want to hurt anybody.
- And now he's up there hurting.
- Hey, if there's anything we can do No.
No, I've embarrassed my family enough.
I think the best thing I could do now is to disappear.
No, I think that'd be the worst thing you could do.
I mean it's what you've been doing all along.
But coming out and being honest with yourself and your family, in this town it's the bravest thing you could've done.
Look, it's just my opinion but you're the kind of father any kid would be proud of.
Well, I should go.
Dad.
Just let me grab my shoes.
I'll go with you.
So while we're being honest Oh, God.
There's more? That was a pretty impressive speech you made in there.
Well, I'm prone to impressive speeches.
Right up until that line, yeah.
- From now on, you'll tell all your secrets? - You gonna tell me all yours? - You know, I don't think I have any.
- Really? - Yeah.
- You sure? - I think.
- Nothing from your past? No secret fantasies? No hidden porn stash on the PC? No, because obviously you already know about that one.
There's no way you can know everything about someone.
- That's what keeps it interesting.
- Well, it hasn't been uninteresting.
At a certain point, you have to trust the other person.
- That's what love is.
- Okay.
So you'll have to trust that you can tell me things that I may not wanna hear.
We can handle it.
Like Jimmy Cooper kissed me? Trust me.
- This is gonna be weird.
- Yep.
Everybody's gonna be staring at me and talking.
Yep.
Maybe I can just blow the whole thing off go hit the beach, give everybody time to get it out of their systems.
It doesn't work like that.
It's been months.
I'm still the kid from Chino that burned a house down.
And I'm still the girl who tried to kill herself in Mexico.
And I'm still the I'm still Seth Cohen.
Man, this is gonna suck.
Yep.
Well, welcome to my world.