The Weekenders (2000) s01e12 Episode Script
The New Girl
1
Tino here.
And you there.
Heh! Okay, so it's Friday afternoon
and we're at the Pizza Farm.
I wonder if the health department knows
about this.
Any moo.
Haha.
Very unusual theme here this week.
But not as unusual as the
info Tish just dropped on us.
Apparently, there's a new girl eager to
hang with us.
Interesting?
Yes, it is.
I don't know.
Life has taught me to fear change.
And snakes.
I think it'd be fun.
You know what's cool about a new kid?
You get to boss 'em around.
Really?
Tell me more.
Well known rule of group dynamics.
Noobie does whatever you tell 'em.
Oh, I like the sound of that.
But the best thing
about this new girl is
she's my mom.
Your mom wants to hang with us?
Explain, please.
Okay, last night we were
at Strings and Things,
and we were getting some
dulcimer accessories, right?
I don't know.
These seem a little..
soggy.
How can they be soggy?
They're made of steel.
What are you talking, Tishy?
These strings are egg salad.
"Egg salad"?
Excellent.
Ah.
Is what I say!
If my mom says they're okay, I'm sure
they're fine, Mr. Higginbothom.
Don't hort my baby.
Don't hort my baby.
Uh, what?
She says "Don't hurt my baby."
Oh, mom, it's okay.
It wasn't a gun.
It was just a scanner.
They use it to check prices.
So many embarrassments.
Little tea make you both feel better,
huh?
You would be thinking after
eleven years in this country,
I know what is what and what is not.
Really, mom, it's fine.
No, is not fine!
It's time I become Americanized.
Tishy, I am seeing you are so very
American.
And I am thinking, I do like Tishy does.
I be American,
if I come and hang up
with you and your friends.
I think that would be splendid.
You said "yes"?
Why not?
Don't you like my mom?
It's just, you know..
having a parent with us?
It sets a bad precedent.
Well, okay,
we'll just tell her no then.
Yeah-huh,
y'see that?
You see what she did?
She's got us.
Tishy knows as well as
we do that you can't say
"no" to someone's mom,
even if it's not your mom.
Seriously, the National Council of Moms
passed a ruling about this a few years back.
The penalties are very stiff.
Excuse us,
sidebar.
I say we let Tish's mom hang with us.
We take her skating and in ten minutes
she wants to go home, just like my parents.
Alright, it's a plan.
Starting tomorrow, we hit Tish's mom with
so much maximum high energy weekend fun,
she'll run outta gas
in nothing flat.
Let's do it.
Okay, Tish,
your mom is in.
That's just wonderful.
I think this will be an enriching
experience for us all.
I'm sure it will.
Does "enriching" mean lousy?
Close enough.
I bet Mrs Katsufrakis makes it
twenty feet tops!
By the time we stop for Chug-a-Freezes,
she'll be home soakin' her feet!
She might finish the skate, but by then
we'll be shooting pool at Funville!
This experiment should be over
before it eeeven starts.
What up,
my homie boi?
Tish's mama is in the outhouse.
I am one sick, fat, fly "illing".
Word?
Mom, you might wanna
take it easy on the slang!
Okie dokie,
funky freak~
Let's go!
What are you holding up?
Mrs K,
that was incredible.
Well, in the old country,
I am big star in roller derby.
Come on!
Man,
she is cool~
Yeah, how come you never told
us your mom was so cool, Tish?
Well, I never knew about --
C'mon!
We'll lose her.
I guess skating isn't
something you can inherit?
Oh, such a meal.
I am filled with happiness and onions.
I can't believe you won the
Chili Dog Eating Contest, Mrs K.
You're. So. Cool.
Are you sure you're an adult?
Tish, your mom is the coolest!
Yeah, she's going to hang with us every
weekend, right, guys?
Yeah!
Yeah..
Hey.
You alright?
I'm fine.
Isn't this what you wanted?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's what I wanted.
It's just not what I expected.
We have best good time today, yes,
Tishy?
Sure~
But now that you're Americanized, I'm sure
you want to go back to your normal life.
And let me go back to mine..
No way, Jovan!
Much work remains for me to get all
American-ed up.
Oh, I cannot wait for tomorrow
to begin happening.
Mama gonna party like a fool~
That's what I was afraid of.
What do you wanna
do today, Mrs. K?
Yeah, beach, mall, Funville?
A lil skydiving?
Actually, I would like to go
to the mean erasers.
"Mean erasers"?
Mean erasers, mean erasers!
Tish, translation.
Is that all I'm good for!?
I mean, I'm not feeling very well.
I think I should stay home.
Are you sure?
You want us to hang out here with you?
No, no, no, don't worry about me.
I just need a nap.
Well, if you say so!
Alright, take care.
Get some sleep.
We'll bring you back some, "mean erasers."
Tishy, you tell Poppy to help you.
You must drink goat milk,
then sit in ice.
This fix everything.
Oh, Tishy..
sick or sad?
Tell Poppy.
I don't want the goat milk.
Come on, my little sweet bean.
Tell Poppy everything you
don't want him to hear~
Mama stole my friends!
She stole my life.
It's not fair.
She has her own,
you know, Mom life!
Why does she need mine, too?
Wait.
I see what is happen.
Clear as toast.
Let Poppy tell you a little
story about Mama.
You see, when Mama is small girl,
she have no time for fun.
She have to work very
hard to help her family.
Everyday, many chores,
never time to play!
It make you grow up fast.
Too fast,
sometimes.
Now maybe,
she need a little fun!
I never thought of Mama
needing anything from me!
It was always the other way around.
I feel terrible.
You need maybe some goat milk?
No!
I have to go to the "Mean Erasers"!
Right!
Hey, Tish!
We missed you!
Yeah, you feeling any better?
Yeah, I'm feeling a lot better.
Go, Mama, go!
Who is the best mini racer of them all?
Is me!
I am egg salad with heavy low cities.
"Egg salad with heavy low cities"?
Excellent with high velocities!
So what do you wanna do next weekend?
Well, I
uhh
Excuse me and Tishy, please.
Tishy, Mama has been bad to you.
No, you haven't.
Yes, you very nice about it,
but I am not becoming American.
What I am doing is having childyhood like I
never have when I was little girl.
And this is not fair to Tishy.
Now is time for Tishy to
have childyhood, not Mama.
Thanks, Mama.
No.
I'm thanking you for very fun weekend.
Okay, dumb friends~
To celebrate fabulous Good weekend,
Farmer Roney is on me.
Uh, "Farmer Roney"?
No, I think she's trying to
say "for my honey."
Uh, I'm not sure what she means.
I mean Farmer Roney.
Farmer Roney.
Look, Farmer Roney Pizza.
Ohhh, Farmer Roney"!
Right.
No meat on mine.
Do you think they have among
available toppings, goat jerky?
Um, really doubt it.
Never get used to country
where there is no goat jerky..
Okay, so we always think our parents have
everything worked out.
But you know what?
Parents are just as big freaks
as normal people.
And sometimes all it takes to help them
out is a little patience.
Or a little goat jerky,
either one.
And with that, later days!
Tino here.
And you there.
Heh! Okay, so it's Friday afternoon
and we're at the Pizza Farm.
I wonder if the health department knows
about this.
Any moo.
Haha.
Very unusual theme here this week.
But not as unusual as the
info Tish just dropped on us.
Apparently, there's a new girl eager to
hang with us.
Interesting?
Yes, it is.
I don't know.
Life has taught me to fear change.
And snakes.
I think it'd be fun.
You know what's cool about a new kid?
You get to boss 'em around.
Really?
Tell me more.
Well known rule of group dynamics.
Noobie does whatever you tell 'em.
Oh, I like the sound of that.
But the best thing
about this new girl is
she's my mom.
Your mom wants to hang with us?
Explain, please.
Okay, last night we were
at Strings and Things,
and we were getting some
dulcimer accessories, right?
I don't know.
These seem a little..
soggy.
How can they be soggy?
They're made of steel.
What are you talking, Tishy?
These strings are egg salad.
"Egg salad"?
Excellent.
Ah.
Is what I say!
If my mom says they're okay, I'm sure
they're fine, Mr. Higginbothom.
Don't hort my baby.
Don't hort my baby.
Uh, what?
She says "Don't hurt my baby."
Oh, mom, it's okay.
It wasn't a gun.
It was just a scanner.
They use it to check prices.
So many embarrassments.
Little tea make you both feel better,
huh?
You would be thinking after
eleven years in this country,
I know what is what and what is not.
Really, mom, it's fine.
No, is not fine!
It's time I become Americanized.
Tishy, I am seeing you are so very
American.
And I am thinking, I do like Tishy does.
I be American,
if I come and hang up
with you and your friends.
I think that would be splendid.
You said "yes"?
Why not?
Don't you like my mom?
It's just, you know..
having a parent with us?
It sets a bad precedent.
Well, okay,
we'll just tell her no then.
Yeah-huh,
y'see that?
You see what she did?
She's got us.
Tishy knows as well as
we do that you can't say
"no" to someone's mom,
even if it's not your mom.
Seriously, the National Council of Moms
passed a ruling about this a few years back.
The penalties are very stiff.
Excuse us,
sidebar.
I say we let Tish's mom hang with us.
We take her skating and in ten minutes
she wants to go home, just like my parents.
Alright, it's a plan.
Starting tomorrow, we hit Tish's mom with
so much maximum high energy weekend fun,
she'll run outta gas
in nothing flat.
Let's do it.
Okay, Tish,
your mom is in.
That's just wonderful.
I think this will be an enriching
experience for us all.
I'm sure it will.
Does "enriching" mean lousy?
Close enough.
I bet Mrs Katsufrakis makes it
twenty feet tops!
By the time we stop for Chug-a-Freezes,
she'll be home soakin' her feet!
She might finish the skate, but by then
we'll be shooting pool at Funville!
This experiment should be over
before it eeeven starts.
What up,
my homie boi?
Tish's mama is in the outhouse.
I am one sick, fat, fly "illing".
Word?
Mom, you might wanna
take it easy on the slang!
Okie dokie,
funky freak~
Let's go!
What are you holding up?
Mrs K,
that was incredible.
Well, in the old country,
I am big star in roller derby.
Come on!
Man,
she is cool~
Yeah, how come you never told
us your mom was so cool, Tish?
Well, I never knew about --
C'mon!
We'll lose her.
I guess skating isn't
something you can inherit?
Oh, such a meal.
I am filled with happiness and onions.
I can't believe you won the
Chili Dog Eating Contest, Mrs K.
You're. So. Cool.
Are you sure you're an adult?
Tish, your mom is the coolest!
Yeah, she's going to hang with us every
weekend, right, guys?
Yeah!
Yeah..
Hey.
You alright?
I'm fine.
Isn't this what you wanted?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's what I wanted.
It's just not what I expected.
We have best good time today, yes,
Tishy?
Sure~
But now that you're Americanized, I'm sure
you want to go back to your normal life.
And let me go back to mine..
No way, Jovan!
Much work remains for me to get all
American-ed up.
Oh, I cannot wait for tomorrow
to begin happening.
Mama gonna party like a fool~
That's what I was afraid of.
What do you wanna
do today, Mrs. K?
Yeah, beach, mall, Funville?
A lil skydiving?
Actually, I would like to go
to the mean erasers.
"Mean erasers"?
Mean erasers, mean erasers!
Tish, translation.
Is that all I'm good for!?
I mean, I'm not feeling very well.
I think I should stay home.
Are you sure?
You want us to hang out here with you?
No, no, no, don't worry about me.
I just need a nap.
Well, if you say so!
Alright, take care.
Get some sleep.
We'll bring you back some, "mean erasers."
Tishy, you tell Poppy to help you.
You must drink goat milk,
then sit in ice.
This fix everything.
Oh, Tishy..
sick or sad?
Tell Poppy.
I don't want the goat milk.
Come on, my little sweet bean.
Tell Poppy everything you
don't want him to hear~
Mama stole my friends!
She stole my life.
It's not fair.
She has her own,
you know, Mom life!
Why does she need mine, too?
Wait.
I see what is happen.
Clear as toast.
Let Poppy tell you a little
story about Mama.
You see, when Mama is small girl,
she have no time for fun.
She have to work very
hard to help her family.
Everyday, many chores,
never time to play!
It make you grow up fast.
Too fast,
sometimes.
Now maybe,
she need a little fun!
I never thought of Mama
needing anything from me!
It was always the other way around.
I feel terrible.
You need maybe some goat milk?
No!
I have to go to the "Mean Erasers"!
Right!
Hey, Tish!
We missed you!
Yeah, you feeling any better?
Yeah, I'm feeling a lot better.
Go, Mama, go!
Who is the best mini racer of them all?
Is me!
I am egg salad with heavy low cities.
"Egg salad with heavy low cities"?
Excellent with high velocities!
So what do you wanna do next weekend?
Well, I
uhh
Excuse me and Tishy, please.
Tishy, Mama has been bad to you.
No, you haven't.
Yes, you very nice about it,
but I am not becoming American.
What I am doing is having childyhood like I
never have when I was little girl.
And this is not fair to Tishy.
Now is time for Tishy to
have childyhood, not Mama.
Thanks, Mama.
No.
I'm thanking you for very fun weekend.
Okay, dumb friends~
To celebrate fabulous Good weekend,
Farmer Roney is on me.
Uh, "Farmer Roney"?
No, I think she's trying to
say "for my honey."
Uh, I'm not sure what she means.
I mean Farmer Roney.
Farmer Roney.
Look, Farmer Roney Pizza.
Ohhh, Farmer Roney"!
Right.
No meat on mine.
Do you think they have among
available toppings, goat jerky?
Um, really doubt it.
Never get used to country
where there is no goat jerky..
Okay, so we always think our parents have
everything worked out.
But you know what?
Parents are just as big freaks
as normal people.
And sometimes all it takes to help them
out is a little patience.
Or a little goat jerky,
either one.
And with that, later days!