Theodosia (2022) s01e12 Episode Script

[exciting music]
♪
How 'bout this one?
Nope. That's a spell to
make an invading enemy dance
so they can't fight.
- [hoarsely]
- I can barely stand up,
let alone dance.
Oh, hurry, Theo, now his
voice is fading away too.
- Okay, um
- This one could work.
It's a spell for
healing the body.
- Okay.
- What body?
I'm invisible.
Hear me, ancients.
My face is Ra, my
spine is Sekhmet,
my muscles are the
Lord of Kheraha,
and Thoth is all my flesh.
Make me whole again.
- It didn't work.
- Okay, well,
try saying it with
the Staff of Osiris.
I mean, it could
boost the spell.
Use the staff. Great idea.
[breathes deeply]
Okay. I'm ready.
- What are you waiting for?
- I can't.
It's too powerful.
I could I could
really hurt him.
- No, no, no, no.
- I'll take the risk.
Please, Theo.
Please.
[tense music]
Okay.
I need more room. Come on.
Come on, Will.
Wait up.
Thanks, Henry.
I've got you.
[exciting mystical music]
♪
Are you ready, Will?
I'm over here by the sundial.
Oh.
[quirky music]
Okay. Here goes nothing.
[suspenseful music]
Hear me, ancients.
My face is Ra, my
spine is Sekhmet,
my muscles are the
Lord of Kheraha,
and Thoth is all my flesh.
Make me whole again.
[rumbling]
♪
What was that?
That, Miss Krait,
was the Staff of Osiris.
She found it.
And she's learning
how to use it.
I'll fetch the carriage.
No!
You go.
I want to see if you
come back in one piece.
[exciting music]
Okay, where's Will?
I sent him up in smoke.
No, look. There he is.
You turned him into a rabbit.
I knew I wasn't ready for this.
What was I thinking?
- [in silly voice]
- Being a rabbit isn't so bad.
I can now do the magic trick
where I pull myself
out of a hat.
- The rabbit can talk.
- This is so cool.
Will, I am so sorry.
Oh, there must be
a way to fix this.
Will, don't go.
- [normal voice]
- "Will, don't go."
[laughter]
That was a good trick.
That was mean, but very funny.
I couldn't resist.
[sweet music]
[laughs softly]
I'm so glad you're not a rabbit.
I'm still Will.
You feeling okay?
Yeah. Yeah, I'm great.
I was talking to Theo.
She never hugs anyone.
Your sister is certainly
full of surprises.
Nice job with the Staff.
♪
[laughs softly]
This was once wielded by Osiris.
And now me.
Wait, the Serpents saw
me leave with the Staff.
They'll be coming
for it. Come on.
[tense music]
♪
Oh, they're coming.
I can feel it.
We cannot let them get
their hands on this.
The future of the
world depends on it.
- Huh. No pressure then.
- Use the Staff on them.
- It's not that simple, Henry.
- I need a spell.
- Don't bite my head off.
- I'm just trying to help.
All wearing our
protective amulets.
But we need amulets
for everyone
Mum, Dad,
maybe not Clive.
They're here.
What we really need is a spell
that will protect
the entire museum.
Try using the spell you used
when you made the amulets.
Great idea.
Hear me, ancients.
Osiris, rise to our protection,
and let us stand behind
the pillar of Ankh.
Chase away the furious rage
so we live our lives
in peace and quiet.
[magic rumbling]
[grunts]
[magic warbling]
[dramatic music]
- Ugh!
- [groans]
[all laughing in disbelief]
Good morning.
It is now.
♪
[laughing]
You tell your master you will
never get your hands
on the Staff of Osiris.
This isn't over.
[grunts] Come on, let's go.
[laughter]
Whoa.
This Staff is incredible.
I can do anything.
Wh
Aw, what was that dancing spell?
Hear me, ancients.
Sebek, god of the
Nile, commands you
to lay down your
weapons and dance.
Whoa!
[laughter]
[upbeat music]
- Wow.
- Five, six, seven, eight.
Yeah.
♪
Go, Will. Go, go, go, go!
Come on, Will.
Come on, Safiya.
Aye!
Come on, Will.
Are you supposed to be doing
party tricks with that thing?
No, she's right.
Hatshepsut gave me
this Staff to guard,
not to mess around
with it Here.
Sebek commands you to stop.
Well, you're no fun.
I'm just saying.
It won't happen again.
I'll go find a safe
place to hide the Staff.
I have great moves too.
[clock tower rings]
[tense music]
♪
We can all sleep safe tonight.
[eerie music]
♪
[birds singing]
- [claps] Right.
- Today in botany class,
we're going to be learning
about pollination.
So let's take a look
at your rose plants
you've been growing.
Very impressive, Henry.
Well, I invented an
automatic sprinkler system
to keep it watered.
Wow.
Henry, that's amazing.
- Thanks.
- No, I mean one
of your inventions
actually works.
Hey. That's out of order.
Ooh.
Yeah, so is your sprinkler.
A few teething problems.
Look, Dad. Give me five minutes.
I'll get this fixed and
I'll be right with you.
Wh wait. Try not t
Try not to water
the whole museum.
It's strange everything
being back to normal.
I know. I'm even enjoying
lessons for once.
We should really try being
in constant peril more often.
Beautiful specimen.
Look. Look, look, look, look.
Look at the pollen
on the stamen there.
You see? Huh.
[mischievous music]
Oh, you poor thing.
I've been so busy I've
completely neglected you.
Okay, wait a minute.
Does this mean I
win botany class?
Well, it's not really
a competition, Safiya.
No winners and losers here.
Tell that to Theo's rose.
Mm. Uh, pop it on
the compost, Theo.
It can help feed the
other plants, you see.
♪
[chuckling]
[indistinct chatter]
Make sure you water
this rose regularly.
The soil must be moist,
but not waterlogged.
[sighs]
They absolutely
thrive in sunshine.
I wonder if that healing
spell works on plants?
It needs to be done once a
year to encourage new growth.
What we ought to do
is snip here and there
to help control the
shape of the plant.
[magic twinkling]
Hear me, ancients.
My face is Ra, my
spine is Sekhmet,
my muscles are the
Lords of Kheraha,
and Thoth is all my flesh.
Make me whole again.
♪
[ominous music]
♪
She is powerful.
Osiris flows through her.
But not for much longer.
Aapep has shown me her weakness.
You can break through the
shield and get to the Staff?
There is a better way.
Begin the preparations.
[mischievous music]
Huh.
Extraordinary.
I've never seen a
plant recover so fast.
That's almost magical.
You don't say.
Huh. Right, well,
I have to help unpack
some Roman ceramics.
Um, do a spot of weeding
while I'm gone, okay?
- Okay.
- Bye, Dad.
Okay.
Hm. Theo, you promised me
you wouldn't use
the Staff of Osiris.
I didn't. I just used
the healing spell
that worked on Will.
So no Staff?
No Staff.
Where there's a
will, there's a way.
- [mockingly]
- There's a will, there's a way.
My rose is still
the best though.
Oh, whatever.
[dramatic music]
♪
[intense percussive music]
♪
It is ready.
Oh, great obelisk that
touches the stars,
I am Yaret, Lord
of the Two Shrines.
I command you in
the name of Aapep
to awaken from your slumber.
[magic whooshing]
All: [chanting] All hail Aapep.
[grunting softly]
[grunts]
Stupid amulet.
[static crackling]
What?
[tense music]
♪
Do you mind?
You're supposed to be helping me
with the weeding.
Just two more minutes
with my sun god, Ra.
I'm picking up a signal.
The Serpents are
up to something.
Well, it's probably picking up
the magic shield
that's protecting us.
- No, it just turned on.
- We should follow the signal.
I'm not going on a
wild goose chase.
You mean "wild serpent chase?"
Honestly, you
never listen to me.
Yes, you're worrying
over nothing.
And you always know best.
What's gotten into you?
- [huffs]
- Forget I even mentioned it.
Henry!
[intriguing music]
♪
[tense music]
♪
[indistinct chatter,
jazzy music playing]
One minute Theo's blanking me,
and the next she's
giving me a hug.
Have you tried talking to her
I mean, does she like me or not?
- But what if she actually
- I mean, it
It's cool either way.
I just want to know.
- So why don't you
- [scoffs]
Maybe I should go over there
and just ask her straight up.
That would be a good idea
Yeah.
What am I waiting for?
I'm gonna do it right now.
Thanks, Artie.
- Great chat.
- [chuckles]
You're welcome. [Snickers]
I'm Theodosia Throckmorton,
and I'm always right.
I'm sick of her treating
me like her baby brother.
- I'm not a baby!
- Oh, goodness me.
[device warbling]
Wait.
[crackling continues]
[tense music]
♪
Out, out, out.
Oh. Right, sorry.
No, I'm talking to the weed.
Got it.
Have you seen Henry?
He's paranoid
about the Serpents.
He thinks they're
up to something.
But they can't get the
Staff with the shield up.
Yeah, exactly.
[tender music]
Um, so, um,
the thing I wanted to
talk to you about is
Oh. Hi, Will.
I didn't know you were here.
What's up?
Nothing's up.
[quirky music]
Uh oh, see,
I just I have
some, uh, French
math stuff to do.
So I'm gonna okay. See ya.
[gasps] Look.
[tense music]
You did use the Staff
on it, didn't you?
No, I didn't. I swear.
I just cast a tiny spell
to make my plant grow.
- So why is it still growing?
- I don't know!
Unless the Staff boosted the
spell without me asking it.
- Oops.
- You might want
to ask it to stop helping.
Okay, I'll get the Staff.
[door slams shut]
We're trapped.
♪
Look at these archers.
I'd hate to meet them in battle.
- They look scary.
- Absolutely terrifying.
- Archer!
- There you are.
- I mean, Mother.
- So nice to see you.
Oh, in that case, you
should invite me more often.
Is it raining out?
Does it look like it's raining?
- So the umbrella is for
- [laughs haughtily]
For protecting my delicate skin
from that infernal ball
of flame in the sky.
- Very sensible.
- Mm, you should try it.
Might help you look
less, uh, weather-beaten.
Would you like to see some
Roman pottery, Mother?
I most certainly would not.
[inhales sharply] I
come with good news.
I've secured places
for Theodosia and Henry
at Grantham, the finest
boarding school in the country.
[tense music]
♪
Well, you, uh,
certainly succeeded in
stopping your plant from dying.
But imagine if this
was a field of wheat.
You could feed thousands.
The ancient Egyptians
were so clever.
Hey, this modern one
is pretty smart too.
So how are we going to fix this?
Um, well, we could
try shrinking it
with the Shabti spell.
- Oh.
- Huh. Yeah, Sh
Sh Shabti spell.
Okay, so, just wait a second.
Okay.
- Can I continue?
- Now you can do it.
Thank you.
In the name of Osiris,
Lord of the ever
Wait.
Wait, no, this won't work
unless I actually have
the cursed Shabti, and
it's through there.
[sighs]
We could be stuck in
this garden forever.
Yeah, I'm starting to
wish I was a rabbit.
I'd sure have
plenty to eat then.
[mystical music]
♪
[device warbling]
- Gotcha.
- [laughs]
[dramatic music]
♪
We are not sending the children
to boarding school, Mother.
But don't you think
they would benefit
from a little more discipline?
I admit, we've
had some problems,
but they're behaving
much better now.
And lessons are going well.
I'm teaching them botany today.
Pfft. What a waste of time.
We employ gardeners for that.
Would you like
some tea and cake?
Oh! Splendid idea.
[sighs]
[ominous music]
♪
[device warbling]
Oh, what are you up to
down there, Serpents?
[warbling crescendos] Oh, no.
No, no, that's not good!
Henry Throckmorton.
So pleased to finally meet you.
- I need your help.
- I'm not helping you.
But you have no
amulet to protect you.
[chuckling]
[magic whirring]
Hey, what are you
Aapep will guide you.
All hail Aapep.
There's a good boy.
Let's talk about your
sister, Theodosia.
- [inhales sharply]
- Ooh.
- Ugh.
- Um
Man, if only Henry was here.
He'd have an invention
or something for this.
Hm. Yeah.
- They're called scissors.
- [laughs mockingly]
No, no, no!
- It's hurting.
- Stay still. Don't move.
I'm not exactly about
to run a marathon.
Ouch!
This is a thorny problem.
My plant's become
quite attached to you.
- [chuckling]
- I know what you're doing.
Making light of it
so I don't freak out.
- Is it working?
- What do you think?
Um, let's try to unwind them.
Okay. Don't try not
to scratch my new shoes.
Okay, yeah. Not
it's not important.
Okay, totally
agree. Yep. Just
Ow!
Okay. That's not going to work.
Then what do we do now?
Okay, the important
thing is not to panic.
Okay.
[exciting music]
♪
[all screaming]
- Ah, Henry.
- Can you take this letter
up to your father?
[tense music]
You centennials have got
lots to learn about manners.
Milk and sugar?
I know what you're doing.
Don't think a slice of Victoria
sponge is going to distract me
from the subject
of boarding school.
Ah, now, I hear the
strawberries in the jam
were grown in Buckingham Palace.
[gasps] How wonderful.
I had no idea they oh.
Alistair.
Henry. Come and say hello
to your grandmother.
Henry.
He Henry!
Well, really.
This is exactly the sort of
behavior I'm talking about.
Hey, look. I'm a rose
between two thorns.
[laughs]
Too soon?
- Yep.
- I didn't really want
to learn this much about botany.
On the plus side,
I did always want
to try out acupuncture.
[sighs] Dad will be back soon,
and when he can't
open the door
Wait.
That's it, the door.
Oh, yeah, the one we
can't even get to now?
- Yeah. What about it?
- No, the unlocking spell.
Maybe it works on the branches.
Oh, yeah. Go for it.
Please. Look, come on, there's
no way that spell will even
Hear me, ancients.
Ra, god of all that is light,
may the world become witness
to your infinite wisdom.
[dramatic music]
[laughing] Nice one, Theo.
How come it only worked for you?
- It must be the Staff.
- I need it in my hands
in order for it to work for you.
Okay, be right back.
My nose is itchy.
No. No, no. No.
No!
[ominous music]
♪
You know how Henry is when
he's working on an invention.
Head in the clouds.
He didn't mean to be rude.
He's normally very well-behaved.
Have you seen an Egyptian
staff about yea high?
And hello to you too, Theodosia.
You and your brother
Oh, shush, Granny!
This is important!
- Theo.
- Shush?
She she shushed me.
I I I've
never been shushed.
- Have you seen it?
- No, we haven't.
I think you perhaps, um
[receding footsteps]
Another slice of cake?
Gah!
[exciting music]
Thank you, Henry.
I had a feeling your
sister's magic shield
wouldn't work on you.
The Staff of Osiris!
All: [chanting] All hail Aapep.
♪
Let Aapep guide your magic now.
You freed us.
No.
It wasn't me.
The Staff is gone.
Its magic is changing.
I can feel it.
I I can feel it.
The Serpents must have it.
Oh, I should have
listened to Henry.
Henry. They have him.
For centuries, we Serpents
have hidden in the shadows
as the light of Ra
ruled the world.
We waited patiently, the
watchers in the dark,
coiled and ready to spring.
Now is our time to strike.
[exciting music]
♪
[electricity crackling]
[thunder rumbling]
[magic whirring]
[electricity
continues crackling]
[thunder rumbling]
[lightning cracks]
[tense music]
♪
Chaos is here.