Tiger & Dragon (2005) s01e12 Episode Script

1
FASCINATION
Dragon Dragon, calling Dragon!
Hello?
It's been three years since I've used
the greeting my senior pupil gave me.
Do you remember Hayashiyate Kotora,
the legendary rakugo teller?
Yakuza and rakugo performer.
After trying to do the impossible job
of straddling the two worlds,
he was suddenly incarcerated.
As a result, my master
had to retire from the Rakugo Association.
Labeled a criminal's family,
we were dishonored and ostracized.
Master Donbei, a comment, please!
Comet? That's Kumiko Oba! Don, don, don!
-Will he hold a press conference?
-Press, press, Kaikou Ken! Opa!
It's no use, jokes don't work on them.
Listen to me.
If you want to make it
as a rakugo performer,
I won't stop you. Go to another master.
Don't be so downhearted.
After all you've done for us,
none of us will betray you!
Donkichi.
The chubby Four-Eyes is right!
Don't worry about money.
I can host a game show,
or even star in a porn movie.
-I want that!
-Donta.
If we can't get a theater,
we can rent a public hall.
That's right!
We aren't the pupils of the association.
We're your pupils, master.
I'm with you for life!
You guys are all idiots.
Master!
What about you?
I couldn't possibly say
"No, thanks" at that time.
So I've spent three years
in the bleak Hayashiyate family.
Now, thanks to your support,
we're back at the theater,
and soon I will become a headliner
and inherit the title,
the Seventh Hayashiyate Donbei.
I'm thinking about passing
on my stage name to this man here.
Dad!
Still thinking about him?
-Well, it's impossible not to.
-Are you going to greet him?
Me? Go greet him?
At first I thought he was promising,
but he was just that.
A yakuza.
Think of all the damage
that Yamazaki caused
to you and me.
You climbed your way up from the bottom.
Stop agonizing and just take the title.
So, instead of my master
or the senior pupils,
I will lead the grand finale!
This is unnerving.
Tiger and Dragon!
KO WA KASUGAI EPISODE
SASAGASECHO PRISON
Congratulations!
You?
Yes, it's me.
And this is the yellow hanky of happiness.
Just you?
Yes, just me.
It's not like you know me well.
Well, not really.
But I had the time.
Didn't they get the postcards?
I'm sorry, we're out
of Urahara Dragon T-Shirts.
There might be some left
in the Daikanyama branch.
Boss.
Later. I'm busy.
For real?
What a surprise! Was it today?
You're doing well.
Celebrities wore them as a joke.
Then they really became a hit.
The times caught up with Dragon Soda.
Cyber Dragon Soda.
So Ryuji's debts are paid.
And there are branches
in Daikanyama and Shimokita.
I see. That's good.
And Ginjiro?
That topic's taboo.
-They broke up recently.
-Why would they?
You'll find out.
Yasuo.
Looks like he came back.
-Hey! Gin--
-Welcome, sir!
After that incident,
he succeeded his father.
And this pledging ceremony was held,
making the Wolf boss
the brother of Gin-gin.
His dad left the gang to Gin-gin
and retired to Hachioji.
Gin-gin used to be cute,
but now he's yakuza through and through.
We live in different worlds now.
He actually lives in Roppongi Hills now.
I see.
But he did become the boss.
I'm happy for him.
That's good.
Tora, you look kind of lonely.
I'm not lonely. I was always alone.
It's a celebration. Let's drink.
Why don't we call Ryuji?
He's probably too busy practicing.
-Pay him a visit tomorrow.
-I can't.
I'm ashamed to see them.
After all,
I dishonored the Hayashiyate name.
Cheer up! Let's drink!
That's right! Drink up!
And stay here tonight.
Stay?
No way, Chibi-T.
Ryu-san, don't be nasty!
What the heck?
No!
No!
Saya, let's take a bath.
Honey, take her and Taro.
Don…
LIST OF MEN
WOMEN DO NOT WANT TO SLEEP WITH
#1 JUMPTEI-JUMP
#2 HAYASHIYATE DONTA
Crap.
Second place is worse.
And he's on for five seconds longer!
Daddy, how are babies born?
Sex! Sex!
"For the sake of the child's happiness,
can't we get back together again?"
"Won't that make you happy?"
"Forget about me.
It will make the child
so much happier in the future.
Without him,
we wouldn't have met after three years."
Look, Grandpa.
I drew Anpanman.
Oh, this is good.
"So I'm the clamp? No wonder
you wanted to hit my head with a hammer."
Sayuri-chan, this…
Oh, I had hidden it.
Why did you hide it?
But, when Kotora…
Not Kotora. It's Yamazaki.
When Yamazaki is mentioned, you get angry.
I don't get angry! No way.
You're already angry.
What?
I'm telling you, I'm not.
Is he kidding?
"I'll be released on June 24."
That's today!
After all the trouble he caused,
he should at least come by!
I'd kick him out anyway, but still,
why doesn't he pay a visit at all?
Master, you made Taro cry.
Not me. Yamazaki made him cry!
Even Taro hates yakuza!
How mysterious!
The ultimate pet for children!
It goes this way and that!
Hanzo?
-Kotora!
-Who's this?
He used to run this awful fish cake joint.
You stopped coming, so I closed the shop.
When did you get out?
Yesterday.
I see. That's great.
Is the master doing well?
Yeah.
Did he say anything about me?
Not really.
Tora?
What you see ahead is…
Tora-chan!
Megumi.
What, Megumi-chan?
Sorry, I wanted to visit you in prison
and bring you things,
but a lot has happened.
Ta-chan, you got married again?
She's Brazilian.
We met at the Asakusa Samba Carnival.
We were a pair there.
Anita, come over here and say hello.
After the soba.
She's allergic to soba.
But at night, she is…
Are you still with Ryuji?
Yeah. We broke up three times, though.
What the heck?
The first time, I had an affair.
The next time, I went on a group date.
The third time,
I went to a host club last Christmas.
And then, with Ta-chan…
Four times! And all your fault!
I don't get what makes Ryu-chan mad.
It's a pain.
His succession must have him on edge.
Succession?
In July, he'll be the next Donbei!
-Shut up. Don't tell…
-It hurts!
Why didn't you tell me?
I've heard things from Ryuji.
It seemed complicated.
Yes, if that thing hadn't happened,
Donbei would have
wanted you to succeed him.
Good.
It's all good.
All I've said since yesterday is "Good."
Good for you, too. You got out.
No, I'm not sure about that.
If Ryuji is Donbei, what about the master?
He can't be Donbei!
I guess it can't be helped.
See for yourself.
SEVENTH HAYASHIYATE DONBEI
KOTORA
What do you think? Shocking, right?
I am the second Hayashiyate Kotora,
no longer Hayashiyate Donbei.
Tiger tiger, thank you tiger!
Why?
Master, why?
He said he took the name
to stop you from coming back.
But that makes no sense.
As we know, even divorced couples
sometimes get back together
because they love their children.
It's "Ko Wakare."
My wife and I
are what young people call madly in love.
We've never even thought of breaking up.
"Excuse me, neighbor. I'm going to Kiba."
Can you keep an eye on my house?
Sorry to keep you waiting.
Being single is hard.
You need a neighbor to watch your house.
That's not all.
I can't keep up with the piling laundry.
Flowers grow in a widow's home,
and maggots grow in a widower's home.
Well, you did fool around.
I heard your second wife
was quite horrible.
I fell for her
and took her out of Yoshiwara.
You could say I bought a cheap horse.
She slept in the morning,
afternoon, and at night.
She slept all the time.
I'm home!
Kuma, I'm hungry.
You cook once in a while.
No! I can't cook at all.
That's what I married you for.
Cook something for me.
I almost beat her up,
but she left before I could do that.
I realized I couldn't go on like this,
so I stopped drinking
and started working hard to make money.
What about your ugly
but hard-working previous wife?
Oh, her?
It was more like she was used to poverty.
She was a thrifty woman.
You have a son do you not?
Kame, right? How old is he?
It's been three years since then,
so he's nine.
Well, don't you miss him?
Of course.
"Sometimes, when I see a boy that age,
I wonder if he is my son.
The other day,
I passed by a shop that was making manju.
When they opened the lid, the steam rose.
It smelled wonderful.
Then I remembered that Kame loved manju.
I imagined how his face would look
if I gave him these manju.
The thought brought tears to my eyes."
Hey, look.
Isn't it your Kame?
The biggest kid.
It is Kame!
He's so big now, and he's moving.
Of course he moves. He's human.
Go talk to him. I'll go ahead.
Kame!
Kame!
Run!
You're my dad, right?
Yes, I'm your dad!
You've grown so big
in the time I haven't seen you!
You're bigger, too.
I can't be bigger.
You're all tan and strong.
Is your mom well?
Is your dad good to you?
You're my dad!
You must have a new dad!
I've never heard of a child
having a new parent.
So it's just your mom and you?
Yup. She says she's done with marrying
after the last drunk yakuza she married.
She's too harsh!
Yakuza?
I bet it's the alcohol.
Mom always says
you're a nice person at heart. It's true.
Mom still has feelings for you.
How about it?
Jump, don't act like a celebrity!
If you're Jump, jump into the sky!
Huh?
Kotora!
Kotora!
Are you a headliner?
Not yet.
Kotatsu beat me to it.
These days,
I work mostly as a gourmet reporter.
Do your best for me.
Yeah.
Wait! Wait, Dad!
Aren't you lonely, Dad?
Even if I am lonely, it's my fault.
I live right over there. Let's go!
No. I can't see your mom.
Wait, I'll give you
some pocket money.
Alright, here you go.
This much? I don't have change.
Take it all. Don't buy useless stuff.
Now, men aren't supposed to cry.
You're crying, too!
I'm not. I'm sweating from my eyes.
"My eyes…"
Wait, I didn't come for your rakugo!
Where is Kotora?
We met at the theater.
He came to see the master's gig!
He's staying with a friend in Aoyama.
Chibi-T's place!
Wait.
What's the point?
Master, you miss him.
Otherwise, you wouldn't take on his name.
You don't get it, do you? I expelled him.
This house won't--
It's the same as my case!
He's just like me.
This is the only home he has!
-You'll end up being sorry!
-Ryuji.
Dad has his reasons
for not being able to forgive him!
Why can't you understand?
If he forgave him,
the association would hate us,
and you'll never become a headliner!
Yamazaki is a good man, but Donbei…
I mean Kotora was betrayed by him.
So if Donbei forgave Kotora…
Sorry, I mean,
if Kotora forgave Yamazaki…
This is confusing!
Anyway, the one
who is suffering the most is him!
See, he's crying!
If you make him cry,
you're not my son,
and I'll smack you!
What? What is this?
Hey, this is a naan.
I hate myself.
I brought it.
How long were you there?
From the beginning.
I'm making Indian curry today!
We had curry yesterday.
Welcome, sir!
Welcome!
Yamazaki.
Young master.
Congratulations on your succession.
Take it easy.
Yes, sir.
When did you get out?
Yesterday.
And today?
Obviously, he's asking for a job.
What?
I beg you on his behalf too, Hyuga.
We go way back…
No!
Your faces are scary!
Act normal! Loosen the frowns!
Sorry!
Brother.
Sorry, let me call you brother.
You once told me,
"Don't do things that aren't you."
I'm sorry.
I thought to myself,
"Look who's talking."
What about you?
A totally humorless dude doing rakugo.
So when we smashed up Rikio's place,
I felt so happy.
You were so cool.
It's been three years.
Now I'm doing something
that's not me at all.
Close to 30 men
with deep frowns call me boss,
and I say "Yeah."
It's not me.
I wish you took my place.
So…
I'll say it the way you said it before.
Don't do stuff that's not you!
Yasuo, let's go.
Yes, sir.
Ginjiro.
It really suits you.
Sorry.
Saya.
Taro.
You've grown.
Who are you?
Don't lie!
Why would a stranger
give you so much money?
I'm not lying!
Then tell me who it was.
I can't. He told me not to tell you.
I can't!
You are pathetic.
Even when I had to live on one meal a day,
I made sure you'd want for nothing.
If you stole the money,
tell me where you got it
so that I can return it.
You won't tell me?
Fine, be stubborn!
Look. This is your dad's hammer.
You brought it with us
when I decided to break up with him.
If I hit you with this,
it'll be like your dad hitting you.
"If you don't tell,
I'll smash your skull with this hammer."
"I didn't steal it! I got it!
I didn't steal it!
I got it from Dad!"
You are not cute.
"You got it from Dad?"
"Why do you come closer when I say 'Dad?'"
Did you say something?
I didn't.
Dinner is ready.
Thanks.
I heard you! You said I wasn't cute!
Shut up.
You weren't concentrating on the story.
What's this?
Huh?
Is the curry not done yet?
I gave up. You said you had it yesterday.
Choose whatever you want
to eat with the naan.
I feel like a cross
between India and Japan.
Are you ready for the succession?
If the master teaches me properly.
What are you saying?
I am teaching you properly.
Awful!
I'm allowed to say it? It's awful!
The only word that comes to mind is awful!
Do you have rice?
Do you have any curry?
I don't think
you can eat this without curry.
It's inedible.
How mean!
Everyone said so!
It was my turn to say it.
I don't want to hear it from you.
You used to lick powdered milk!
I didn't lick it.
We're breaking up!
Apologize to her.
This is the fifth time.
This time we're really breaking up!
-Father?
-Yes.
Taro had this.
Rolex?
What's wrong?
Taro, who gave this to you?
A man with a scary face.
"A man with a scary face"?
Isn't that Kotora? It's Kotora!
Put some shoes on, at least.
What about you? These are Megumi's.
SEVENTH HAYASHIYATE DONBEI CEREMONY
Hey, it's the Seventh Donbei.
He didn't come?
No, he didn't.
I see.
See you.
Hey. You can't be going straight home.
I don't even want to see it.
The last day for Kotatsu.
Let me act like a brother just this once.
BUS GUIDE PUB, PEACHY BUS
Things are going well with Megumi, right?
Brother.
Yes, coming!
Mr. Boss, Ms. Koharu.
We got married.
Where's Don-chan?
I'm already 60, you know.
So I left the group
to my son and the young men.
We're going to live in Hachioji.
With her… Congratulations.
We made you worry.
I wanted to visit you,
but he kept saying how--
That's enough.
Anyway, Don-chan,
we're both pretty old now.
Will you let bygones be bygones?
If you say so, Ken-chan.
Yes.
-Let us start over.
-Thanks.
This is great!
Finally!
By the way, how is Yamazaki?
There's nothing to say.
He's not here.
Huh? Since Ginjiro threw him out,
I thought he'd be here.
Threw him out?
Let's go, Erotic Exploration Club!
Let's go, Erotic--
Here, Captain!
There's the Peachy Bus!
Captain!
I expect a crowd. Let's hurry!
I see.
The man of the house protects the family.
It is the same
in both the yakuza and rakugo worlds.
So you get it.
I sure do.
You're saying Yamazaki isn't your family.
No.
You're so cold-blooded.
Stop it, Ken-chan.
Hey, Don-chan.
I promised I'll give Yamazaki to you
once your debt is paid off.
He did get in trouble
and landed in prison,
but he paid for his crime.
So he's now your family.
So you should've gone to him.
You can't do that? Then you're no master!
We're through, idiot!
You wanted to start over!
Let go of me!
I wanted to go get him!
I wanted to go greet him with a smile.
I want to go to him now!
He sat right here,
up till three years ago.
We laughed together. We ate together.
Why isn't he here now?
It's your fault!
You yakuza dragged my Kotora,
my precious pupil, into a foolish fight.
That's why he isn't here!
I want him to be family,
but he isn't.
So we can't see him when we want.
And that… That hurts so much.
Don-chan!
I wanted to go pick him up myself.
But I gave him to you.
That's why I couldn't go.
Ken-chan.
Don-chan.
Ken-chan.
Don-chan.
Ken-chan.
Forgive me, Don.
I'm sorry, too.
I'm so damn stubborn.
Your face is a lot scarier than you think.
Remember that.
Sorry.
Aren't you Hayashiyate Kotora?
No, I'm not.
-I'd like an autograph.
-You're mistaken.
An autograph!
INTRODUCTORY SPEECH
We were waiting for you, Seventh Donbei!
Is this seat taken?
No.
East and West.
At today's succession ceremony,
my fellow pupil, Hayashiyate Kotatsu,
will inherit the name,
the Seventh Hayashiyate Donbei.
Thank you for coming.
Although he is younger than me,
he has been doing this for 20 years.
There was a period when he strayed,
but now he will carry the torch.
Gin-chan, where's Tora-chan?
It keeps going to voicemail.
I'll try again.
Please welcome
the Seventh Hayashiyate Donbei!
Hi, this is Donta.
Not Bontan!
Don don don, Be-Bop High School!
You're too stiff.
Old people have weak teeth.
Granny? Are you getting it?
This is how you do it.
Now, the Seventh Donbei.
He's my brother.
Me and my younger brother.
If I'm Shintaro then he's Yujiro.
Too outdated?
Then we're like Chieko and Mitsuko Baisho.
Please don't be bashful!
And so, please welcome my bro!
Don-don-don Chaka Khan!
You'll be second billing till you die!
You piss me off so bad!
Thank you very much
for a full audience today.
I am Hayashiyate Koneko.
What? Koneko?
He must be really nervous.
This is a succession ceremony,
so although it is a little embarrassing,
let me introduce this fellow.
When he was in his mother's womb,
he was a breech baby.
When he came out, he weighed 4,000 grams.
So my beloved wife Sayuri
screamed at the top of her lungs
as she gave birth.
You could even hear her in Shizuoka.
He's starting from there?
Throughout the years,
so many things have happened.
And here we are today.
I can't vouch for this fellow's character,
but in terms of art, he is capable.
But I, Koneko, and everyone in the family
will continue to support him
so that he will not dishonor the name,
the Seventh Hayashiyate Donbei.
Thank you.
-Koneko again.
-And?
Straight to voicemail.
Huh?
Tora-chan!
Brother.
It's Kotora!
Despite the shame, I came back.
I'm Hayashiyate Kotora.
No,
I am the Third Hayashiyate Kotora.
Thanks to the Seventh Master Donbei,
I am up here on stage.
You look well.
Don't mind me.
Of course I mind. It's the Peachy Bus.
Well, I have to make a living.
Isn't your ceremony coming up?
It is, but I'm not at the top of my game.
After all, I wasn't supposed
to inherit the name Donbei.
Master says…
Why are you standing up?
Stop it.
No, I won't.
If I stop, it'll be like
the time I failed.
I'm sorry.
They made me do "Ko Wakare."
I'm in a bind.
I wish you took my place.
I want to work at Peachy Bus.
Damn. Why are you quiet?
You're quitting rakugo?
You loved it so much!
Why are you quitting?
When I quit, you always nagged me
to do rakugo, again and again.
Now you probably know
how I felt back then.
It's so annoying
when someone
tells you to do what you want to do.
So I know…
how you felt back then.
It feels good
now that I've said my piece.
"What? Why do you
come closer when I say 'Dad.'"
"What's wrong with you, silly child?
Why didn't you just tell me so?"
"So was your dad drunk and grubby?"
"No, he wore a clean jacket
and had lots of money.
He kicked out that bad prostitute
and is now working hard.
Dad cried, saying he made me suffer.
He wants to buy me eel
to eat tomorrow. Can I go?"
"Sure, dear."
The next day, the mother
dressed her son up and let him go.
She also patted some powder
on her face and nose.
She hovered around the eel shop,
unsure of what to do.
The prison has a library.
You can borrow books.
I borrowed all the rakugo books
and memorized them.
"Nedoko," "Shinigami," "Meguro no Sanma,"
"Nezumi," "Douguya,"
"Tokisoba,"
"Inokori Saheiji,"
"Kaji Musuko," "Kaen Taiko."
I crammed 100 stories in my head,
telling them to my cellmates.
But some important things
are not in the books.
For example, what does "kasugai"
mean in "Ko Wa Kasugai"?
I could have asked the master
in the past.
It's the thing
that's used to interlock
a pillar with another one.
Interlock?
To prevent them from falling apart,
you hammer in a small bit of wood.
I've never seen one.
That's why she was going to hit
her son with a hammer.
That's what it meant. I see.
Now I understand.
Do it tomorrow.
But isn't this your succession ceremony?
Don't worry. I'll do "Jugemu" or whatever.
But the master… Huh?
Maybe I should watch it here.
At last!
Let me be brief.
A child is a clamp…
"Ko Wakare."
It's "Ko wa Kasugai."
The last third of "Ko Wakare"
is "Ko Wa Kasugai."
It's what the book said.
Never mind.
Ryu the shopkeeper…
-We've waited for this!
-Shut up!
Will you let me talk!
Ryu the shopkeeper
met Tora the yakuza again.
Unfortunately, Ryu's father
and Tora had a falling out
three years ago.
So Ryu came up with a plan
to make them meet again.
We're back!
-You're late! Where were you?
-Well…
What is this?
Crap!
This isn't the scarf from my workplace!
What is this?
It was given to me!
Who gave it to you? This is fishy!
-I can't tell you.
-I can't.
Tell me, or I'll hit you!
What's going on?
Father, Ryu-chan is having an affair
with another tour guide!
It's from a tour guide pub!
A tour guide pub?
Ryuji, stop it!
You have a tour guide right here,
and you want another?
This time I'm really through with you!
No! It's where Kotora is working!
What?
"What? Why do you come closer
when you hear the name Kotora?"
Kotora is working at a tour guide brothel?
-Brothel?
-No, it's a pub.
Sayuri-chan,
-Yes?
-Call a taxi.
At this hour?
Never mind, I'll call one.
Good!
Meanwhile,
his father patted on some makeup.
Or not. Anyway, he went to the pub.
He hovered around, unsure of what to do.
Sir? Aren't you going in?
Let's go in.
Don't worry about me.
Master!
My dear.
Someone gave him money yesterday
and treated him to eel today.
So I came by to say thank you.
So it was you.
I came across Kame yesterday.
He wanted to eat eel,
so I took him to a restaurant.
I told him not to tell you,
but children are simple.
I came across Kame yesterday.
He wanted to eat eel.
Did he tell you?
I came across Kame.
He wanted to eat eel…
What's this?
This way, please!
Thank you for riding with us today.
Why don't you sit down?
I can't do that.
I started from here.
So this is where I must start again.
Master, I beg you!
Make me a sophisticated man once more!
What can I do?
In your case, I started from here, too.
Master.
Please be my pupil.
Master!
-Kotora!
-Master!
-This is great!
-Master!
I missed you.
I'm so glad.
Sorry, they're not gay! Don't worry!
It's all right.
Everyone's watching! Enough!
Let go. Come here.
Ryuji, you know what?
I hate to admit it,
but this time I have to thank you.
Because of you, I met Kotora
for the first time in three years.
Hey Kotora, can I get up?
Can I get up?
What is the meaning of having a child?
Yeah, what is it?
-It's to keep you satisfied and happy.
-"Don't butt in."
Welcome back, Kotora!
Welcome back!
Bow-wow, Kotora!
Tiger tiger
Jirettaiga!
Tiger tiger
Jirettaiga!
Tiger tiger
Jirettaiga!
Tiger tiger
Jirettaiga!
Tiger tiger
Jirettaiga!
Tiger tiger
Jirettaiga!
Tiger tiger
Jirettaiga!
Tiger tiger
Master.
Tiger tiger
Jirettaiga!
Tiger tiger
Jirettaiga!
Tiger tiger
Jirettaiga!
Tiger tiger
Thank you, tiger!
Tiger tiger
Jirettaiga!
Tiger tiger
Jirettaiga!
Tiger tiger
Jirettaiga!
Tiger tiger
Jirettaiga!
Tiger tiger
Jirettaiga!