Tremors s01e12 Episode Script
Water Hazard
Go ahead.
It's open.
I don't see lights and water.
Do you see lights and water? It's a light and water show, Dwayne.
Come on.
Come on, Dwayne.
Work with me a little bit.
Work with me.
Oh, God! It's about damn time.
I'm here.
This last load wasn't easy.
That'll do it.
All right.
That's it.
All filled up now.
What is the deal, Dwayne? Am I gonna see the fountain tonight or not? Okay.
Let's give her a whirl.
That's not right.
Turn it off! Damn it, Dwayne, what did you do? Nothing.
Something must have gone haywire with the nozzle.
Obviously! So get out there and fix it! Now? Now.
I've got prospective buyers coming in a week and I'd like them to see the dancing waters that we're gonna be famous for.
Oh, man, I am so out of here! Well, I expect that nozzle fixed by first thing in the morning, Dwayne.
Oh, my God! Morning, Burt.
Well, I see you're packing.
Bet I am.
I love these monthly potlucks.
Hi, guys.
Hey.
Is that your contribution to potluck? Well, yeah.
All right.
Hey, Rosalita.
Hello.
Looks good.
Water tower level's down from last week.
It's not bad, though, about a third full.
No, that's two-thirds empty.
Another month and the well could be sucking air.
It's rained all winter.
Everything's so green.
One wet season does not replenish the water table.
You see, a ground water basin will remain in approximate equilibrium with the water table, rising during wet periods, falling during drought.
But when man withdraws ground water through wells, that Yes? You rehearse this stuff in advance, right? He's setting us up for his well speech.
My point is we will continue to have seasonal water problems until we take the town well down to 1,200 feet.
That's 900 extra feet.
Nine hundred expensive extra feet! Okay, 900 at approximately $30 a foot.
That is $27,000, that's $5,400 apiece.
Plus, we need to keep El Blanco at bay while we do it.
Delays for El Blanco wrangling That should take us to an even $30,000.
That's 6 grand apiece.
That's a boatload of tourists, and business is slow.
El Blanco's killing me.
He's been pretty much a no-show.
We could think about taking out a bank loan.
You know, if all of us went in on it.
And give them my personal information? I think not.
Maybe the ranch thing is, you know, not my kind of thing, but I do what I can with what I've got.
It's just not good enough.
I'm going to Bixby.
I'm going to see if I can cancel those corral fence things.
If not, El Blanco can just have all those cows himself.
Well, that certainly is defeatist thinking.
Give me a minute.
Hey, you okay? Yeah.
No.
No, I'm not okay.
I'm not going to Bixby.
Not right away.
I just couldn't talk to them about it.
I'm going to see Melvin about a job.
You're kidding.
That twerp who wants to plunder Perfection? Yep.
And do me a favor, if you're talking to Burt Don't worry.
I won't mention it.
Not unless he's paying my bills.
Thanks.
We need the materials at the job site.
Now means today.
Today.
You work it out.
Glad you reconsidered my invitation.
I just came by to talk, see what you're offering out here.
Let me give you a little tour.
I'm inviting you to be the official hostess of the Oasis, Mel-Co's latest development.
I need someone to handle preview junkets for prospective buyers, help them feel that desert vibe.
You know, work the kind of guys you used to charm every night back in Vegas.
You want me to be a shill? That's putting it so crudely, Rosalita.
This is your big chance to get back in the real action.
And all you gotta do is be yourself, charming and beautiful.
You don't even have to talk much.
So how much does this invitation pay? A lot more than you're making shoveling cow manure.
Plus the chance to rub elbows with the right kind of people.
Maybe even work your way into a lovely fairway home of your very own.
Don't you think you deserve that? We're gonna build 50 units in the first phase.
When would I start? I mean, if, um If I was interested.
Grand opening, 30 days.
Wow.
Where'd you get all the water for all this? Did you drill yourself one of those really deep wells? Nah.
Trucked it in.
Wow.
How much did that cost? Money is not the point, Rosalita.
Nothing is too good for the Oasis.
Back in Perfection, we can't even drill ourselves a new well.
And here you are building yourself a new golf course with a pond.
Championship golf course! And they do not have ponds, they have lakes.
They have lagoons.
Okay.
It's a lagoon.
Watch this.
This thing better work.
What am I supposed to see? My dancing waters! It's the signature feature of the Oasis.
Damn it! I gotta check this out myself.
Dwayne! Didn't even tie up the boat.
Hey, can you give me a hand for a second? Grab that oar, okay? Let's take a boat ride.
Oh, come on.
It'll only take a second.
Give you a feel for the place.
Maybe you'll take clients out here, show them the magnificent exotic koi.
The fish! They swim right up to the edge of the boat.
Oh.
Okay.
Good.
Watch your step.
Oh, my God! Dios mio! Oh, my God! Dwayne! No! Oh, my God! What happened to him? You're asking me? He was alive last night.
Except he was in a bad mood.
Suicide maybe? So he cut off his own head? Okay, an accident! Whatever.
There's gonna have to be an investigation, delays Either way, I am so screwed.
You're screwed? You're screwed, Melvin? What about him? You will never change.
I'll call 911.
Yeah.
I need to report a dead body, please.
He's a worker.
All right.
Coroner will be here in 20 minutes.
Any idea what this is? Looks like a shell.
Why? What kind of food do you feed your koi fish? What do I know? Are you sure there's only fish in there? I built it myself.
I ought to know what's in it.
What are you trying to say? Yeah, well, fish don't leave track marks.
Looks like something crawled all the way around here.
You've been in Perfection too long.
You think everything's a monster, Rosalita.
Are you saying these are something like Shrieker tracks? You think this thing got out of your valley just to screw with my project? I don't know.
These tracks are kind of round.
Shrieker tracks have chicken claw edges, not this fan shape.
What about El Blanco? He tunnels along, comes up through the lagoon, cuts Dwayne's head off.
You know he can't get past the granite whatever that surrounds the valley.
We're outside of Perfection.
Okay.
Well, it's some other creature then.
You've got all kinds of stuff popping up over there, right? Yeah.
Seems like it lately.
But how would it get way out here? Maybe I should call Burt.
Burt? Yeah, yeah.
Why don't you call Burt? He just loves you.
That would be a great idea.
I hear you, but he's the expert.
Hey, what about, um, hiring a new type of expert? You know, someone who might be willing to do a quick look-see on the DL, as a favor to your newly hired hostess? And this expert would be Tyler? Exactly.
Wow, this shell is fascinating, Rosalita.
You found this locally? Sort of.
Out at the Oasis.
You're always saying bring in anything that's weird.
It looks like the shell of a crustacean.
Like koi? No.
Those are fish.
Oh.
It's not part of a Shrieker, right? No, definitely not.
You know, Twitchell's gonna wanna know if it's anything.
Mmm-hmm.
What did Burt say about it? I haven't seen him yet.
You know Burt.
I didn't want to launch a search and destroy mission until You know what you're searching and destroying.
Right.
Floating in the pond without his head? Maybe he had a lot of enemies.
I don't know.
Melvin said he was a real jerk.
Melvin says that about everybody.
It could have been a hit and the poor guy was mistaken for Melvin.
Wait, what were you doing at the Oasis anyway? You were supposed to be in Bixby canceling those corral fences.
I lied.
What do you mean "lied"? Can I have my Grabbuccino? I went to see Melvin first because he offered me a job.
And you didn't tell us? Well, I knew you wouldn't approve.
I only told Tyler.
Tyler knew and he didn't tell us.
Tyler is in the same boat as me.
Haven't you guys been listening? It is hard times.
And please, please, do not tell Burt.
What I need is a job, not a lecture on Melvin.
Well, there's no reason Rosalita can't make a buck or two, is there? But watch out.
Anything having to do with Melvin is automatically suspect.
That little weasel would love nothing more than to see this whole town plowed under.
But he does have a vision.
Yeah, Melvin uber alles! He's trying to numb the pain of a difficult childhood by acquiring material possessions.
In this case, acreage.
Come on, Tyler, this is the easiest money you're ever gonna make.
Tell me, I don't have a problem beyond a careless employee.
Melvin, you got a dead body.
You got lots of problems.
With the police, for one, insurance company, for two, and probably a lawsuit, for three.
That's why I need your expertise, Tyler.
I've seen you in action.
Look, Melvin, Burt's out of town tomorrow For a few days, so when he returns Forget Burt! He's not gonna help me anyway.
Well, he and I work together on these things.
I understand.
But if he goes off to do whatever it is he does, does that mean you gotta sit around and turn down a lucrative job opportunity? As far as I'm concerned, this is just between me, you and Rosalita.
Rosalita? She recommended you.
She said you were all over this stuff.
I'll think on it.
Don't think too long.
Consider this a deposit.
I'll need your decision by the end of the day.
I'll leave word with the security guard.
Hey, Bud.
How you doing, Tyler? Where you going, sir? This is a crime scene.
You freaked me out there, man.
You shouldn't, uh, sneak up on a man like that.
Hey.
Tyler Reed.
Perfection Valley? I work with Burt Gummer.
Bud here knows me.
I said this is a crime scene.
Do you understand? Absolutely.
Melvin Plug wanted me to come check around for Shrieker activity.
Hey, Bud, can you, uh, come talk to your partner here? Help! Over here! What are you doing here, Reed? Where's Mack and Brown? Where's Mack and Brown? Oh, my God! They're out there in the water.
No! You can't go out there! Oh, for the love of God! What in the name of mercy happened here? Sheriff, listen, there's something living in that pond.
I don't know what it is.
It almost took my arm off.
No! What the hell happened here? Please believe me, Sheriff.
Please.
There's something in the water that killed your men.
Something in the water could do that? I don't think so.
That's why I'm here! Melvin asked me to He asked me to look into it.
I just arrived.
Plug hired you? You expect me to believe that? And if you're working, where's Gummer, huh? Sorry, Reed.
Put your hands behind your head.
Sheriff! You gonna call Melvin or not? I already did.
He says he has no idea why you were out there.
What? That little turd! You got that right.
Get just a little crosswise of Smokey on the DUI Totally unjustified.
Plug forgets I even existed.
You work for Melvin? Did.
Hauling water.
Water? Melvin must own a dozen wells.
He overdrew them all, watering his damn golf course.
Had to make it up hauling.
Oh, I could get him in a peck of trouble if I wanted.
How's that? You're that worm tour cowboy guy, ain't you? Desert Jack? Tyler Reed, actually.
But why would Melvin get in trouble for hauling water? He took that water off of BLM land.
Out of Dry Gulch Spring.
Melvin was stealing off-limits government water from inside Perfection Valley? Cheaper than paying for it.
Improves the profit margin.
All right.
Let's see what this specimen has to tell us.
Put it in the sequencer.
Okay, the sequence is coming up now.
Mixmaster? Are you sure? Yes.
And look at this.
What the hell is that? That doesn't match any DNA in our database.
Doesn't even come close.
Yeah, well, that's because it's very, very old.
Sam.
Burt.
Real sorry to hear about your men.
They was tore up real bad.
Let's get some coffee.
No, thanks.
You don't really think Tyler had anything to do with it? No.
But he was where he wasn't supposed to be.
And he wanted me to believe there's some kind of man-eating creature swimming around that pond.
And you think it's what? I got no idea.
But I think if it looks like a murder, I'm gonna investigate it as a murder.
And just a reminder, you're in Bixby now.
I can't have you two butting in whenever you feel like it.
I didn't butt in anywhere! Yeah, well, make sure he doesn't, either.
Oh.
And I'm releasing him on your say-so.
But until I find out who the hell massacred my men, he stays in the county.
And both of you stay out of my way.
Understood? Understood.
We've known each other long time, Gummer, but you two stick to taking care of your own backyard.
Bixby doesn't need help from any vigilantes.
Was only out there 'cause Rosalita got a job offer from Melvin.
Rosalita? She really needs the money.
She just didn't want to tell you, okay? And she knew how you'd react.
She could have asked me for help.
What for? You're just scraping by.
It's lucky you haven't lost your taste for cactus.
I'm on my way to give a lecture, thank you.
"Government Surveillance and the Supermarket Price Scanners.
" So I'll be rectifying my financial shortfall in due course.
You're just lucky I was still around to bail you out of there.
I said thanks.
And shouldn't we really be getting out to Melvin's to deal with that thing? No.
Direct orders from the Sheriff to stay away.
Do I need to repeat that? Fact is you and Rosalita are consorting with the enemy.
No.
She just swallowed her pride and sought out gainful employment.
It doesn't explain your little episode.
Hey, I'm no better off than she is.
I just figured I'd make a few bucks by investigating it, that's all.
You also figured you had the experience? Well, yeah.
Really? Come on, Burt.
You went Judas on me.
We're supposed to be partners.
It's not like I haven't done anything for you Oh, don't even go there Shared my reputation, skills, munitions Oh, you wanna go there, fine.
How's this? I cover your paramilitary ass.
I make you user-friendly out there in the real world.
I even eat your damn cactus! Thirty pieces of silver.
You know what? I'm running on fumes and Rosalita's running on air.
A real partner knows his partner's limits! Just drop me off at my Jeep, please.
Are you okay? I heard you spent the night in Yeah, I did.
Next subject, please.
Like maybe what you called me about.
Well, Tyler, I think we have an idea of what tried to take your arm off.
Something hungry, I assume.
Oh, just one of the most significant zoological discoveries since Graboids.
Unless we're way off, Melvin's water hazard is now home to genus Artemia Jurassica.
That's a prehistoric brine shrimp.
Shrimp? Even a jumbo shrimp ain't much bigger than my thumb.
That thing almost ate me! Jurassic Artemia grew to 500 times their hatchling nauplii state.
That's at least 6 feet long, and they were deadly predators.
Probably ate its siblings and all the koi Melvin stocked.
Ordinary little brine shrimp, of course, lay dormant in dried-up lake beds and ponds all along the southwest.
But like all creatures, buried deep in their DNA are the ancient forms of distant ancestors.
I think Mixmaster somehow triggered its Jurassic routes.
Mixmaster? Outside the valley? Yeah.
We thought it was contained.
It must have gotten out.
That shell fragment, you brought in showed trace amounts of it.
We had to notify Twitchell, of course.
Bring him up to speed.
I bet he enjoyed the news.
He told us to quarantine Melvin's whole development and do what was necessary to contain the outbreak.
Shut down Melvin's little project.
Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.
I have rights, as a businessman, as an American! Well, as an American, I'm sure you want to do what's best for everyone.
No, I don't.
I'm a businessman.
What do you think I'm doing here? It's reasonably certain that you have a What? Jurassic Artemia.
A That in your pond.
Lagoon! And I don't have a Jurassic anything out there.
You're speaking about Perfection.
Look, Mr.
Plug, your lagoon presents a truly unique scientific opportunity.
No, it doesn't.
I don't want to hear stuff like this.
Yeah, well, too bad, because all construction will cease immediately.
We're putting a team together to secure the site and a special tank is being constructed in Vegas To airlift the creature to the Scripps Institute.
How long am I gonna be held up with this? Well, Phase One will be a study of Phase One? Of how to safely capture the creature alive.
We've gotta do feasibility studies on anesthetics and the effects of How long is all this going to take? Well, we're hoping no longer than a few weeks.
But, believe me, we can't afford to make any mistakes with such a rare creature.
You take care.
Tough luck, huh? Too bad this didn't happen in Perfection, eh? Gummer would have killed the thing by now and I'd be out there getting in a little round of golf.
This'll take care of the problem.
What? Geez.
Smells like a refinery out here! What Some kind of fuel leak last night.
It must be 1,000 gallons of diesel in there.
This whole damn thing smells fishy to me.
So you guys are saying a giant shrimp killed my men.
You wanna write the report on that? Believe it, Sheriff.
I've seen a lot stranger things out here.
Trust me.
Well, if there is something in there, it's dead.
Nothing could live in there now.
Unless it ain't in there anymore.
Yeah, Desert Jack Tyler, where's Gummer? All I get is a machine.
Twitch? He's off lecturing fellow anti-government paranoids.
I wasn't invited.
Damn.
What are we gonna do? Someone else get attacked? Well, not yet.
Tyler, you in there? Hold on a sec.
Yeah, come in.
We need Burt.
We've got to really kick some ass here.
Well, thanks a lot.
Listen, I'm going back to sleep now.
No, no, no, no, no.
No.
No, no, no.
No, no.
Okay, fine.
Fine.
Somebody couldn't help messing with that thing in the pond, right? It's not in the pond.
There was some sort of industrial accident or something.
Yeah, and the shrimp high-tailed it out of there.
Call Melvin, we were ordered to stay away.
Well, not anymore because it looks like it crawled all the way to the aqueduct.
You realize, of course, that it can apparently breathe out of water.
I mean, do you know how amazing that is? Yeah.
We're so proud of it.
Now, it's somewhere downstream heading for the frigging reservoir.
You've gotta find it and kill it.
Kill it? I thought it was rare.
You don't understand.
Its body is loaded with Mixmaster.
Mixmaster again? Mixmaster again, Tyler.
Mind-boggling DNA mutations, a complete chaotic genetic free-for-all! If we don't catch it and it eventually dies somewhere where we can't find it, hundreds of animals and insects will feed on its body.
Once it enters the food chain, it'll spread everywhere.
It has to be killed and its body contained immediately.
Now, I'm going to the aqueduct right now.
Meet me at the Route 3 crossing ASAP.
Route 3 crossing.
Copy that.
I posted the deputy upstream to let us know when that thing's coming.
Right.
Good idea.
Come on.
Sheriff.
Guess you were telling the truth.
Sorry about taking you in.
That's okay.
This kind of stuff's hard to believe anyways.
You sure we're ahead of it? Yeah, Sheriff's got that covered.
Besides, Casey said it's vicious but it's not designed for speed.
Oh.
Even going slow, it's just a mile to the reservoir.
It gets in there, we'll never find it.
Sheriff, Sheriff.
I just spotted it coming this way.
Boggs here.
Copy that, Kelly.
Hang on.
Ten-four.
How are them concussion grenades? Lob a few of those, we'll depth-charge the sucker.
I don't think so.
We bust up its body in the water, it'll spread Mixmaster through the whole water system.
Great idea, Twitchell.
Well, you got a better one? That thing's gonna be swimming by anytime now.
Couldn't we just shoot it? Absolutely.
What kind of weapons do you have? Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys, guys.
Forget it.
If you blow any kind of hole through it, you've released its DNA.
Mixmaster.
Right.
Right.
Mixmaster What are you gonna do? Rope it? I don't know what I'm thinking.
Gotta do something.
What about these? What are they? Rubber bullets.
You have a lot of riots in Bixby? No.
We've had these for years.
Well, that won't put a hole in it, right? It just might hit him hard enough to stun him.
Just might.
I'm loving that idea.
Sheriff, get upstream and let him have it.
I only got 12 shots, that's it.
Let's do it.
Doesn't sound like it's getting stunned.
Or the Sheriff's a really bad shot.
Reed, Twitchell.
As soon as I started shooting, that thing took a dive.
It ain't working.
Thing's too deep.
Too deep? Yep.
Water's the best bullet stop there is.
Ah, frigging fantastic! Now what do we need, a spear gun? No.
We need an idea we can use.
Sheriff, just stay ahead of it.
Keep trying, over.
Come on, Casey.
You gotta come up with something.
You're the one who said don't blow it up.
Now, the ball's in your court.
How do we kill this thing? Poison.
Some kind of poison bait.
We don't happen to be carrying any poison with us.
Well, can we change the pH, or maybe the salinity of the water? What? Walk along the canal with a salt shaker or something? It would take tons of salt, tons of chemicals.
Well, guys, those are your options.
It's susceptible to changes in pH, salinity, cold, poisons, and that's about it.
Wait, wait.
Cold? Would freezing work? Yes.
Freezing would work.
But how are you gonna do that? Twitch.
What? If we could trap that thing in there long enough to get some Some ice.
Better yet, dry ice.
Just get a ton of the stuff, dump it right in the aqueduct, freeze its ass! What do you think? I mean, is it worth any kind of shot? What do you mean, trap it? We can't even slow it down with rubber bullets.
I don't know.
We need to get a, uh We need to get a gate or A fence, that's it! Can you give me the ice? Just like that? Get you dry ice? Yeah.
Get a truckload of the stuff.
Just do it.
Yeah, Dispatch? Dispatch.
This is Twitchell.
Patch me through to Saginaw Beverage in Bixby.
Why? You don't need to know why, just do it.
Rosalita, Tyler here.
Do you copy? Over.
Rosalita, do you copy? Yeah, Tyler, I can hear you.
Listen up.
Melvin's shrimp is in the aqueduct.
What? The creature from Melvin's lagoon.
Yeah.
I know what you're talking about.
But it's where? It got loose.
It's making a run up the aqueduct for the reservoir.
We gotta stop it.
Okay.
What do you need? You got them fences, right? You know where the aqueduct crosses the south end of your land? All right.
Mel, how you doing? It's W.
D.
Here.
Yeah, yeah, that's great.
Listen.
I need a truckload of dry ice and I need it now.
Why? It's a government secret.
Well, my drivers are busy, Twitchell, making deliveries.
Well, if they're on delivery, have them deliver it here! That's it.
Twelve shots.
Sheriff, give me some good news.
Over.
If I did, I'd be lying.
Damn it.
Am I too late? Judging by the gunshots, we got plenty of time.
Yeah.
Let's unload this stuff fast.
There it is! There, there it is! It's coming! Come on, come on.
Get out of the water! Come on! Get out of the water! Get out of the water, now, Tyler! Hurry up, hurry up! Hurry up, come on! Come on, come on! Get out, get out! Come on, come on! Get out, get out! Get out! Whoa! Okay, okay, let's go.
Back it up, go, go, go! Gotta dump that ice! Wait! Wait! Wait! We got a problem.
What? As soon as we start dumping that ice in there, ain't that sucker gonna turn around and hightail it back upstream? You're right.
We need an upstream barrier, too.
I've got no more fence left.
This is it.
And that ain't gonna hold for long.
Hell, man, this is gonna be one hell of a requisition.
Yeah! Do it! What are you waiting for? Dump the frigging ice already! Go, go, go, go, go, let's go! You heard the man, get that ice in the water! Go! Go! Form a line, guys, form a line! Let's go! Let's go! Come on! Faster! Faster! Go! It's working! Fast, come on! Come on! Move it! Let's go! Come on! Come on! More, we need more! Faster! Let's go! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Hey.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not bad, man.
You saved the day.
You did good.
All right, all right, all right, all right, all right.
That ought to hold you till you get to Vegas.
Yeah.
Next time, rent a car that actually runs.
Department can't afford it, not with these overpaid monster hunters.
Yep.
Nobody slays a shrimp like we do.
Kid did good out there.
Adios.
Damn stick shift! All right, you two.
I know that, well, that part of this It's It's my fault, because of the whole Melvin job situation and all.
But you two You two are partners.
You can write me a check for my half.
Oh, you earned this one yourself.
Besides, my lecture fees got us covered.
Maybe enough to get a start on the well.
Now, why didn't you just tell me how short on cash you were? Thought I did.
You think everybody is as self-sufficient as you are.
We're not.
Yeah, it won't happen again.
Apology accepted.
What apology? That's really great for you two, but I lost all my fencing that I haven't even paid for and Listen to me.
Nobody knows where the Mixmaster in Melvin's pond came from except for you and me.
And now Burt.
Except for us, Melvin's in the clear.
Back pay? You didn't even work for me.
And now I'm shut down indefinitely for clean-up.
They want to declare me a Superfund site.
I've already lost a half a million dollars! That's so sad, Melvin.
Really.
And if they knew where the Mixmaster stuff in your pond came from Lagoon! Whatever.
Well, it would be worse for you, wouldn't it? Oh, come on! We're all neighbors here! You're not gonna say anything, are you? Like you said when you hired me before, I'm beautiful.
I don't have to talk much.
It's open.
I don't see lights and water.
Do you see lights and water? It's a light and water show, Dwayne.
Come on.
Come on, Dwayne.
Work with me a little bit.
Work with me.
Oh, God! It's about damn time.
I'm here.
This last load wasn't easy.
That'll do it.
All right.
That's it.
All filled up now.
What is the deal, Dwayne? Am I gonna see the fountain tonight or not? Okay.
Let's give her a whirl.
That's not right.
Turn it off! Damn it, Dwayne, what did you do? Nothing.
Something must have gone haywire with the nozzle.
Obviously! So get out there and fix it! Now? Now.
I've got prospective buyers coming in a week and I'd like them to see the dancing waters that we're gonna be famous for.
Oh, man, I am so out of here! Well, I expect that nozzle fixed by first thing in the morning, Dwayne.
Oh, my God! Morning, Burt.
Well, I see you're packing.
Bet I am.
I love these monthly potlucks.
Hi, guys.
Hey.
Is that your contribution to potluck? Well, yeah.
All right.
Hey, Rosalita.
Hello.
Looks good.
Water tower level's down from last week.
It's not bad, though, about a third full.
No, that's two-thirds empty.
Another month and the well could be sucking air.
It's rained all winter.
Everything's so green.
One wet season does not replenish the water table.
You see, a ground water basin will remain in approximate equilibrium with the water table, rising during wet periods, falling during drought.
But when man withdraws ground water through wells, that Yes? You rehearse this stuff in advance, right? He's setting us up for his well speech.
My point is we will continue to have seasonal water problems until we take the town well down to 1,200 feet.
That's 900 extra feet.
Nine hundred expensive extra feet! Okay, 900 at approximately $30 a foot.
That is $27,000, that's $5,400 apiece.
Plus, we need to keep El Blanco at bay while we do it.
Delays for El Blanco wrangling That should take us to an even $30,000.
That's 6 grand apiece.
That's a boatload of tourists, and business is slow.
El Blanco's killing me.
He's been pretty much a no-show.
We could think about taking out a bank loan.
You know, if all of us went in on it.
And give them my personal information? I think not.
Maybe the ranch thing is, you know, not my kind of thing, but I do what I can with what I've got.
It's just not good enough.
I'm going to Bixby.
I'm going to see if I can cancel those corral fence things.
If not, El Blanco can just have all those cows himself.
Well, that certainly is defeatist thinking.
Give me a minute.
Hey, you okay? Yeah.
No.
No, I'm not okay.
I'm not going to Bixby.
Not right away.
I just couldn't talk to them about it.
I'm going to see Melvin about a job.
You're kidding.
That twerp who wants to plunder Perfection? Yep.
And do me a favor, if you're talking to Burt Don't worry.
I won't mention it.
Not unless he's paying my bills.
Thanks.
We need the materials at the job site.
Now means today.
Today.
You work it out.
Glad you reconsidered my invitation.
I just came by to talk, see what you're offering out here.
Let me give you a little tour.
I'm inviting you to be the official hostess of the Oasis, Mel-Co's latest development.
I need someone to handle preview junkets for prospective buyers, help them feel that desert vibe.
You know, work the kind of guys you used to charm every night back in Vegas.
You want me to be a shill? That's putting it so crudely, Rosalita.
This is your big chance to get back in the real action.
And all you gotta do is be yourself, charming and beautiful.
You don't even have to talk much.
So how much does this invitation pay? A lot more than you're making shoveling cow manure.
Plus the chance to rub elbows with the right kind of people.
Maybe even work your way into a lovely fairway home of your very own.
Don't you think you deserve that? We're gonna build 50 units in the first phase.
When would I start? I mean, if, um If I was interested.
Grand opening, 30 days.
Wow.
Where'd you get all the water for all this? Did you drill yourself one of those really deep wells? Nah.
Trucked it in.
Wow.
How much did that cost? Money is not the point, Rosalita.
Nothing is too good for the Oasis.
Back in Perfection, we can't even drill ourselves a new well.
And here you are building yourself a new golf course with a pond.
Championship golf course! And they do not have ponds, they have lakes.
They have lagoons.
Okay.
It's a lagoon.
Watch this.
This thing better work.
What am I supposed to see? My dancing waters! It's the signature feature of the Oasis.
Damn it! I gotta check this out myself.
Dwayne! Didn't even tie up the boat.
Hey, can you give me a hand for a second? Grab that oar, okay? Let's take a boat ride.
Oh, come on.
It'll only take a second.
Give you a feel for the place.
Maybe you'll take clients out here, show them the magnificent exotic koi.
The fish! They swim right up to the edge of the boat.
Oh.
Okay.
Good.
Watch your step.
Oh, my God! Dios mio! Oh, my God! Dwayne! No! Oh, my God! What happened to him? You're asking me? He was alive last night.
Except he was in a bad mood.
Suicide maybe? So he cut off his own head? Okay, an accident! Whatever.
There's gonna have to be an investigation, delays Either way, I am so screwed.
You're screwed? You're screwed, Melvin? What about him? You will never change.
I'll call 911.
Yeah.
I need to report a dead body, please.
He's a worker.
All right.
Coroner will be here in 20 minutes.
Any idea what this is? Looks like a shell.
Why? What kind of food do you feed your koi fish? What do I know? Are you sure there's only fish in there? I built it myself.
I ought to know what's in it.
What are you trying to say? Yeah, well, fish don't leave track marks.
Looks like something crawled all the way around here.
You've been in Perfection too long.
You think everything's a monster, Rosalita.
Are you saying these are something like Shrieker tracks? You think this thing got out of your valley just to screw with my project? I don't know.
These tracks are kind of round.
Shrieker tracks have chicken claw edges, not this fan shape.
What about El Blanco? He tunnels along, comes up through the lagoon, cuts Dwayne's head off.
You know he can't get past the granite whatever that surrounds the valley.
We're outside of Perfection.
Okay.
Well, it's some other creature then.
You've got all kinds of stuff popping up over there, right? Yeah.
Seems like it lately.
But how would it get way out here? Maybe I should call Burt.
Burt? Yeah, yeah.
Why don't you call Burt? He just loves you.
That would be a great idea.
I hear you, but he's the expert.
Hey, what about, um, hiring a new type of expert? You know, someone who might be willing to do a quick look-see on the DL, as a favor to your newly hired hostess? And this expert would be Tyler? Exactly.
Wow, this shell is fascinating, Rosalita.
You found this locally? Sort of.
Out at the Oasis.
You're always saying bring in anything that's weird.
It looks like the shell of a crustacean.
Like koi? No.
Those are fish.
Oh.
It's not part of a Shrieker, right? No, definitely not.
You know, Twitchell's gonna wanna know if it's anything.
Mmm-hmm.
What did Burt say about it? I haven't seen him yet.
You know Burt.
I didn't want to launch a search and destroy mission until You know what you're searching and destroying.
Right.
Floating in the pond without his head? Maybe he had a lot of enemies.
I don't know.
Melvin said he was a real jerk.
Melvin says that about everybody.
It could have been a hit and the poor guy was mistaken for Melvin.
Wait, what were you doing at the Oasis anyway? You were supposed to be in Bixby canceling those corral fences.
I lied.
What do you mean "lied"? Can I have my Grabbuccino? I went to see Melvin first because he offered me a job.
And you didn't tell us? Well, I knew you wouldn't approve.
I only told Tyler.
Tyler knew and he didn't tell us.
Tyler is in the same boat as me.
Haven't you guys been listening? It is hard times.
And please, please, do not tell Burt.
What I need is a job, not a lecture on Melvin.
Well, there's no reason Rosalita can't make a buck or two, is there? But watch out.
Anything having to do with Melvin is automatically suspect.
That little weasel would love nothing more than to see this whole town plowed under.
But he does have a vision.
Yeah, Melvin uber alles! He's trying to numb the pain of a difficult childhood by acquiring material possessions.
In this case, acreage.
Come on, Tyler, this is the easiest money you're ever gonna make.
Tell me, I don't have a problem beyond a careless employee.
Melvin, you got a dead body.
You got lots of problems.
With the police, for one, insurance company, for two, and probably a lawsuit, for three.
That's why I need your expertise, Tyler.
I've seen you in action.
Look, Melvin, Burt's out of town tomorrow For a few days, so when he returns Forget Burt! He's not gonna help me anyway.
Well, he and I work together on these things.
I understand.
But if he goes off to do whatever it is he does, does that mean you gotta sit around and turn down a lucrative job opportunity? As far as I'm concerned, this is just between me, you and Rosalita.
Rosalita? She recommended you.
She said you were all over this stuff.
I'll think on it.
Don't think too long.
Consider this a deposit.
I'll need your decision by the end of the day.
I'll leave word with the security guard.
Hey, Bud.
How you doing, Tyler? Where you going, sir? This is a crime scene.
You freaked me out there, man.
You shouldn't, uh, sneak up on a man like that.
Hey.
Tyler Reed.
Perfection Valley? I work with Burt Gummer.
Bud here knows me.
I said this is a crime scene.
Do you understand? Absolutely.
Melvin Plug wanted me to come check around for Shrieker activity.
Hey, Bud, can you, uh, come talk to your partner here? Help! Over here! What are you doing here, Reed? Where's Mack and Brown? Where's Mack and Brown? Oh, my God! They're out there in the water.
No! You can't go out there! Oh, for the love of God! What in the name of mercy happened here? Sheriff, listen, there's something living in that pond.
I don't know what it is.
It almost took my arm off.
No! What the hell happened here? Please believe me, Sheriff.
Please.
There's something in the water that killed your men.
Something in the water could do that? I don't think so.
That's why I'm here! Melvin asked me to He asked me to look into it.
I just arrived.
Plug hired you? You expect me to believe that? And if you're working, where's Gummer, huh? Sorry, Reed.
Put your hands behind your head.
Sheriff! You gonna call Melvin or not? I already did.
He says he has no idea why you were out there.
What? That little turd! You got that right.
Get just a little crosswise of Smokey on the DUI Totally unjustified.
Plug forgets I even existed.
You work for Melvin? Did.
Hauling water.
Water? Melvin must own a dozen wells.
He overdrew them all, watering his damn golf course.
Had to make it up hauling.
Oh, I could get him in a peck of trouble if I wanted.
How's that? You're that worm tour cowboy guy, ain't you? Desert Jack? Tyler Reed, actually.
But why would Melvin get in trouble for hauling water? He took that water off of BLM land.
Out of Dry Gulch Spring.
Melvin was stealing off-limits government water from inside Perfection Valley? Cheaper than paying for it.
Improves the profit margin.
All right.
Let's see what this specimen has to tell us.
Put it in the sequencer.
Okay, the sequence is coming up now.
Mixmaster? Are you sure? Yes.
And look at this.
What the hell is that? That doesn't match any DNA in our database.
Doesn't even come close.
Yeah, well, that's because it's very, very old.
Sam.
Burt.
Real sorry to hear about your men.
They was tore up real bad.
Let's get some coffee.
No, thanks.
You don't really think Tyler had anything to do with it? No.
But he was where he wasn't supposed to be.
And he wanted me to believe there's some kind of man-eating creature swimming around that pond.
And you think it's what? I got no idea.
But I think if it looks like a murder, I'm gonna investigate it as a murder.
And just a reminder, you're in Bixby now.
I can't have you two butting in whenever you feel like it.
I didn't butt in anywhere! Yeah, well, make sure he doesn't, either.
Oh.
And I'm releasing him on your say-so.
But until I find out who the hell massacred my men, he stays in the county.
And both of you stay out of my way.
Understood? Understood.
We've known each other long time, Gummer, but you two stick to taking care of your own backyard.
Bixby doesn't need help from any vigilantes.
Was only out there 'cause Rosalita got a job offer from Melvin.
Rosalita? She really needs the money.
She just didn't want to tell you, okay? And she knew how you'd react.
She could have asked me for help.
What for? You're just scraping by.
It's lucky you haven't lost your taste for cactus.
I'm on my way to give a lecture, thank you.
"Government Surveillance and the Supermarket Price Scanners.
" So I'll be rectifying my financial shortfall in due course.
You're just lucky I was still around to bail you out of there.
I said thanks.
And shouldn't we really be getting out to Melvin's to deal with that thing? No.
Direct orders from the Sheriff to stay away.
Do I need to repeat that? Fact is you and Rosalita are consorting with the enemy.
No.
She just swallowed her pride and sought out gainful employment.
It doesn't explain your little episode.
Hey, I'm no better off than she is.
I just figured I'd make a few bucks by investigating it, that's all.
You also figured you had the experience? Well, yeah.
Really? Come on, Burt.
You went Judas on me.
We're supposed to be partners.
It's not like I haven't done anything for you Oh, don't even go there Shared my reputation, skills, munitions Oh, you wanna go there, fine.
How's this? I cover your paramilitary ass.
I make you user-friendly out there in the real world.
I even eat your damn cactus! Thirty pieces of silver.
You know what? I'm running on fumes and Rosalita's running on air.
A real partner knows his partner's limits! Just drop me off at my Jeep, please.
Are you okay? I heard you spent the night in Yeah, I did.
Next subject, please.
Like maybe what you called me about.
Well, Tyler, I think we have an idea of what tried to take your arm off.
Something hungry, I assume.
Oh, just one of the most significant zoological discoveries since Graboids.
Unless we're way off, Melvin's water hazard is now home to genus Artemia Jurassica.
That's a prehistoric brine shrimp.
Shrimp? Even a jumbo shrimp ain't much bigger than my thumb.
That thing almost ate me! Jurassic Artemia grew to 500 times their hatchling nauplii state.
That's at least 6 feet long, and they were deadly predators.
Probably ate its siblings and all the koi Melvin stocked.
Ordinary little brine shrimp, of course, lay dormant in dried-up lake beds and ponds all along the southwest.
But like all creatures, buried deep in their DNA are the ancient forms of distant ancestors.
I think Mixmaster somehow triggered its Jurassic routes.
Mixmaster? Outside the valley? Yeah.
We thought it was contained.
It must have gotten out.
That shell fragment, you brought in showed trace amounts of it.
We had to notify Twitchell, of course.
Bring him up to speed.
I bet he enjoyed the news.
He told us to quarantine Melvin's whole development and do what was necessary to contain the outbreak.
Shut down Melvin's little project.
Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.
I have rights, as a businessman, as an American! Well, as an American, I'm sure you want to do what's best for everyone.
No, I don't.
I'm a businessman.
What do you think I'm doing here? It's reasonably certain that you have a What? Jurassic Artemia.
A That in your pond.
Lagoon! And I don't have a Jurassic anything out there.
You're speaking about Perfection.
Look, Mr.
Plug, your lagoon presents a truly unique scientific opportunity.
No, it doesn't.
I don't want to hear stuff like this.
Yeah, well, too bad, because all construction will cease immediately.
We're putting a team together to secure the site and a special tank is being constructed in Vegas To airlift the creature to the Scripps Institute.
How long am I gonna be held up with this? Well, Phase One will be a study of Phase One? Of how to safely capture the creature alive.
We've gotta do feasibility studies on anesthetics and the effects of How long is all this going to take? Well, we're hoping no longer than a few weeks.
But, believe me, we can't afford to make any mistakes with such a rare creature.
You take care.
Tough luck, huh? Too bad this didn't happen in Perfection, eh? Gummer would have killed the thing by now and I'd be out there getting in a little round of golf.
This'll take care of the problem.
What? Geez.
Smells like a refinery out here! What Some kind of fuel leak last night.
It must be 1,000 gallons of diesel in there.
This whole damn thing smells fishy to me.
So you guys are saying a giant shrimp killed my men.
You wanna write the report on that? Believe it, Sheriff.
I've seen a lot stranger things out here.
Trust me.
Well, if there is something in there, it's dead.
Nothing could live in there now.
Unless it ain't in there anymore.
Yeah, Desert Jack Tyler, where's Gummer? All I get is a machine.
Twitch? He's off lecturing fellow anti-government paranoids.
I wasn't invited.
Damn.
What are we gonna do? Someone else get attacked? Well, not yet.
Tyler, you in there? Hold on a sec.
Yeah, come in.
We need Burt.
We've got to really kick some ass here.
Well, thanks a lot.
Listen, I'm going back to sleep now.
No, no, no, no, no.
No.
No, no, no.
No, no.
Okay, fine.
Fine.
Somebody couldn't help messing with that thing in the pond, right? It's not in the pond.
There was some sort of industrial accident or something.
Yeah, and the shrimp high-tailed it out of there.
Call Melvin, we were ordered to stay away.
Well, not anymore because it looks like it crawled all the way to the aqueduct.
You realize, of course, that it can apparently breathe out of water.
I mean, do you know how amazing that is? Yeah.
We're so proud of it.
Now, it's somewhere downstream heading for the frigging reservoir.
You've gotta find it and kill it.
Kill it? I thought it was rare.
You don't understand.
Its body is loaded with Mixmaster.
Mixmaster again? Mixmaster again, Tyler.
Mind-boggling DNA mutations, a complete chaotic genetic free-for-all! If we don't catch it and it eventually dies somewhere where we can't find it, hundreds of animals and insects will feed on its body.
Once it enters the food chain, it'll spread everywhere.
It has to be killed and its body contained immediately.
Now, I'm going to the aqueduct right now.
Meet me at the Route 3 crossing ASAP.
Route 3 crossing.
Copy that.
I posted the deputy upstream to let us know when that thing's coming.
Right.
Good idea.
Come on.
Sheriff.
Guess you were telling the truth.
Sorry about taking you in.
That's okay.
This kind of stuff's hard to believe anyways.
You sure we're ahead of it? Yeah, Sheriff's got that covered.
Besides, Casey said it's vicious but it's not designed for speed.
Oh.
Even going slow, it's just a mile to the reservoir.
It gets in there, we'll never find it.
Sheriff, Sheriff.
I just spotted it coming this way.
Boggs here.
Copy that, Kelly.
Hang on.
Ten-four.
How are them concussion grenades? Lob a few of those, we'll depth-charge the sucker.
I don't think so.
We bust up its body in the water, it'll spread Mixmaster through the whole water system.
Great idea, Twitchell.
Well, you got a better one? That thing's gonna be swimming by anytime now.
Couldn't we just shoot it? Absolutely.
What kind of weapons do you have? Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys, guys.
Forget it.
If you blow any kind of hole through it, you've released its DNA.
Mixmaster.
Right.
Right.
Mixmaster What are you gonna do? Rope it? I don't know what I'm thinking.
Gotta do something.
What about these? What are they? Rubber bullets.
You have a lot of riots in Bixby? No.
We've had these for years.
Well, that won't put a hole in it, right? It just might hit him hard enough to stun him.
Just might.
I'm loving that idea.
Sheriff, get upstream and let him have it.
I only got 12 shots, that's it.
Let's do it.
Doesn't sound like it's getting stunned.
Or the Sheriff's a really bad shot.
Reed, Twitchell.
As soon as I started shooting, that thing took a dive.
It ain't working.
Thing's too deep.
Too deep? Yep.
Water's the best bullet stop there is.
Ah, frigging fantastic! Now what do we need, a spear gun? No.
We need an idea we can use.
Sheriff, just stay ahead of it.
Keep trying, over.
Come on, Casey.
You gotta come up with something.
You're the one who said don't blow it up.
Now, the ball's in your court.
How do we kill this thing? Poison.
Some kind of poison bait.
We don't happen to be carrying any poison with us.
Well, can we change the pH, or maybe the salinity of the water? What? Walk along the canal with a salt shaker or something? It would take tons of salt, tons of chemicals.
Well, guys, those are your options.
It's susceptible to changes in pH, salinity, cold, poisons, and that's about it.
Wait, wait.
Cold? Would freezing work? Yes.
Freezing would work.
But how are you gonna do that? Twitch.
What? If we could trap that thing in there long enough to get some Some ice.
Better yet, dry ice.
Just get a ton of the stuff, dump it right in the aqueduct, freeze its ass! What do you think? I mean, is it worth any kind of shot? What do you mean, trap it? We can't even slow it down with rubber bullets.
I don't know.
We need to get a, uh We need to get a gate or A fence, that's it! Can you give me the ice? Just like that? Get you dry ice? Yeah.
Get a truckload of the stuff.
Just do it.
Yeah, Dispatch? Dispatch.
This is Twitchell.
Patch me through to Saginaw Beverage in Bixby.
Why? You don't need to know why, just do it.
Rosalita, Tyler here.
Do you copy? Over.
Rosalita, do you copy? Yeah, Tyler, I can hear you.
Listen up.
Melvin's shrimp is in the aqueduct.
What? The creature from Melvin's lagoon.
Yeah.
I know what you're talking about.
But it's where? It got loose.
It's making a run up the aqueduct for the reservoir.
We gotta stop it.
Okay.
What do you need? You got them fences, right? You know where the aqueduct crosses the south end of your land? All right.
Mel, how you doing? It's W.
D.
Here.
Yeah, yeah, that's great.
Listen.
I need a truckload of dry ice and I need it now.
Why? It's a government secret.
Well, my drivers are busy, Twitchell, making deliveries.
Well, if they're on delivery, have them deliver it here! That's it.
Twelve shots.
Sheriff, give me some good news.
Over.
If I did, I'd be lying.
Damn it.
Am I too late? Judging by the gunshots, we got plenty of time.
Yeah.
Let's unload this stuff fast.
There it is! There, there it is! It's coming! Come on, come on.
Get out of the water! Come on! Get out of the water! Get out of the water, now, Tyler! Hurry up, hurry up! Hurry up, come on! Come on, come on! Get out, get out! Come on, come on! Get out, get out! Get out! Whoa! Okay, okay, let's go.
Back it up, go, go, go! Gotta dump that ice! Wait! Wait! Wait! We got a problem.
What? As soon as we start dumping that ice in there, ain't that sucker gonna turn around and hightail it back upstream? You're right.
We need an upstream barrier, too.
I've got no more fence left.
This is it.
And that ain't gonna hold for long.
Hell, man, this is gonna be one hell of a requisition.
Yeah! Do it! What are you waiting for? Dump the frigging ice already! Go, go, go, go, go, let's go! You heard the man, get that ice in the water! Go! Go! Form a line, guys, form a line! Let's go! Let's go! Come on! Faster! Faster! Go! It's working! Fast, come on! Come on! Move it! Let's go! Come on! Come on! More, we need more! Faster! Let's go! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Hey.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not bad, man.
You saved the day.
You did good.
All right, all right, all right, all right, all right.
That ought to hold you till you get to Vegas.
Yeah.
Next time, rent a car that actually runs.
Department can't afford it, not with these overpaid monster hunters.
Yep.
Nobody slays a shrimp like we do.
Kid did good out there.
Adios.
Damn stick shift! All right, you two.
I know that, well, that part of this It's It's my fault, because of the whole Melvin job situation and all.
But you two You two are partners.
You can write me a check for my half.
Oh, you earned this one yourself.
Besides, my lecture fees got us covered.
Maybe enough to get a start on the well.
Now, why didn't you just tell me how short on cash you were? Thought I did.
You think everybody is as self-sufficient as you are.
We're not.
Yeah, it won't happen again.
Apology accepted.
What apology? That's really great for you two, but I lost all my fencing that I haven't even paid for and Listen to me.
Nobody knows where the Mixmaster in Melvin's pond came from except for you and me.
And now Burt.
Except for us, Melvin's in the clear.
Back pay? You didn't even work for me.
And now I'm shut down indefinitely for clean-up.
They want to declare me a Superfund site.
I've already lost a half a million dollars! That's so sad, Melvin.
Really.
And if they knew where the Mixmaster stuff in your pond came from Lagoon! Whatever.
Well, it would be worse for you, wouldn't it? Oh, come on! We're all neighbors here! You're not gonna say anything, are you? Like you said when you hired me before, I'm beautiful.
I don't have to talk much.