Alfred Hitchcock Presents s01e13 Episode Script

Oh, oh, good evening.
I was just about to send greetings to an old friend.
I'm sure Martin's civilized methods of homicide are much more efficient, but I don't care for them.
I abhor violence.
That is why on this program we use stabbings, shooting and garrotings only when they are absolutely essential to the plot or when the whim strikes us.
Tonight's play begins in a museum.
And the title is The Cheney Vase.
That's all I intend to tell you.
You'll have to figure the rest out for yourselves.
I don't intend to discuss it any further.
I want you to leave the museum this afternoon.
Mr.
Koether, the work I did here as your assistant could be done by a reasonably intelligent child.
Leaving won't be exactly a hardship.
However, you're rather conveniently forgetting my severance pay.
If you want to make an issue of the money, Lyle I'll be glad to take it up with the Board.
I'm prepared to go completely into your record during the three months you've been here.
Your inability to arrive even approximately on time.
The four days off last month, with no reason whatsoever.
It was spring, Mr.
Koether.
Though I doubt whether you were aware of that.
I want you out of this building by 3:00.
Yes, sir.
How'd it go, Lyle? It went and so shall I.
Oh, no, what are you going to do? You got me this job, you got any other ideas? Let me go.
Mr.
Endicott! Miss Cheney, no one told me you were in the museum.
Frances and I just arrived.
Now, aren't you looking chipper, if I may say so.
Well, of course you may say so.
Everyone lies to me and spoils me.
I'd rather be put out, if they didn't.
But the only thing chipper about my appearance is perhaps my suit.
And if you had known me longer, Mr.
Endicott you'd know that that's almost as old as you are.
Well, it's still very handsome, and so is its owner.
But now, doesn't this add a touch of color? There we go.
It's very thoughtful of you, Mr.
Endicott.
Thank you.
You're not gonna run off with one of the museum's treasures in that box, are you? No, this is- this is my own last little effort.
Frances, why don't you run along and do your errands? I shan't need you for a while.
Well, now, you know, it's really very good.
You've cut this in here beautifully.
Yeah.
Well, of course it's only a hobby, but at least no one can say that I completely waste my time rattling around in that old house out in the country.
There you are, Herbert.
Good afternoon, Martha.
What a nice surprise.
I didn't expect you till Wednesday.
It was the only day I could come.
Have you taken care of that matter, as I asked you to? Yes, I'll take care of that immediately, Mr.
Koether.
Miss Cheney, it was so nice to see you again.
Goodbye, Mr.
Endicott.
Goodbye.
What did you want to see me about? Martha, I'm leaving for the coast.
Are you really? Day after tomorrow.
Martha, it would be a wonderful send-off for my trip if I could inform the Board of Trustees that at long last I've arranged to purchase the Cheney vase.
Now, you're not still at it? No, Herbert, you know I could never sell it.
It was the last thing of my father's, and I'll keep it as long as I live and that's going to be a long, long time.
But, Martha, you always promised.
No, Herbert that's final.
So, you're leaving for the coast? Frances is leaving me, too.
So I have to manage without Frances.
This will probably be my last visit, for a while.
So act like a curator, Herbert.
I'd like to see those Chinese figurines No explanation, no nothing.
He just fired you.
Darling, I'm sick.
What is it with us? Do we just have the unlucky touch? Other people get married, save money and have babies.
Think that this is the best of all possible worlds.
Why not just once just once can something work out right for me? Will they let you stay in your apartment until I get my check? I'm not gonna take any more money from you.
Take a letter, Miss Waring.
What? Of recommendation.
At least you can type one, I think even if our distinguished curator won't feel obliged to.
What will I say? Just write a nice, kind enthusiastic letter.
Lyle Endicott worked here at the Manhattan Museum of Art as my assistant until May 12 during which time, he turned out to be a very dependable worker.
I hope you don't mind my coming to you.
But, you see, I'm in no position financially to engage someone like you.
There could be other compensations in my case.
You see, I could continue my research here in your wonderful library.
May I? Thank you, Mr.
Endicott.
Call me Lyle.
Well, I Look, if I'm going to be taking care of you you can hardly go around calling me mister, now, can you? It was very kind of you and Herbert to think of me but you know that when Frances leaves, there'll just be Bella, the cook and I'm helpless since my illness last year.
I can't get around at all.
Then you need a man around the house now, don't you? Well would you be willing to put it on a trial basis? Say, one month? Of course.
I know that I won't change my mind.
Well.
Then let's seal the bargain, Lyle.
Would you like another cup of tea, dear? Sitting here gossiping with you isn't going to get any work done.
And I ought to have been in my studio an hour ago.
We certainly can't let talent go to waste, now, can we? Here we go.
Whee! Oh, no.
Lyle.
There.
Oh, no, please.
There.
Really.
Now, you go on upstairs and get to work and I'll make all the arrangements about lunch.
You're not supposed to bother about things like that.
Why not? I enjoy doing things for you.
There we go.
Oh, Lyle.
Put those somewhere.
I'll answer them later.
Okay.
Yes, sir.
Bella, would you clear up Miss Cheney's tea things, will you? Yes, sir.
But, Bella, it isn't important one cup, and you so rarely break anything.
Miss Cheney, I didn't break it.
Now, as Mr.
Endicott said: "It wasn't broken when I had my tea from it "and you're the only one who's touched the tray since.
" If you cracked a cup, there's no harm in admitting it but don't try to blame someone else.
Are you calling me a liar, sir? I'm saying that when one is as old as you are, and is prone to breaking- Bella, I know you're tired.
You've had too much to do since Frances left.
So why don't you go and lie down for a little while.
Never thought the time would come you wouldn't believe me, Miss Cheney.
I can see I'm not wanted in this house.
Bella, wait.
Bella.
I'm afraid we hurt her feelings.
I hated having to worry you about this but some of the things that've gone on lately Bella has been with me for 18, almost 20 years.
I couldn't possibly do without her.
I hope she'll stay with me as long as I live.
I just thought perhaps she might need a little vacation.
Why don't you tell her to take a couple of weeks off? I'm sure I can take care of you.
Well.
So, this is where the artist creates her masterpieces? It's a good place for work.
It's quiet, it's soundproof.
When the elevator's downstairs, I feel cut off from the rest of the world.
Do you keep the vase up here? What vase? The vase.
There's only one, isn't there? I don't want to talk I don't want to talk about it.
Everybody's always asking me about it.
I thought you'd be different from the rest.
It seems a shame to keep such a beautiful work of art hidden away where no one can appreciate it.
It's my vase and I will do what I like with it.
Everybody's always telling me what I have to do.
Martha, what's the matter? Can I help you? I think, if you don't mind, Lyle, I'd like to be alone for a while, please and just rest quietly.
Oh, no.
No, I wouldn't think of leaving you now.
You need someone to take care of you.
Good morning, Martha.
How are we feeling today? Oh, I'm sure, I'm much better.
Good.
I thought maybe I could go out for a little while into the air.
I haven't been out of the house for three weeks.
Why don't you go upstairs and try and do a little work? You know how you've missed your sculpting.
Do you think I could? Why, of course.
Why, you were showing just wonderful work before this little setback of yours.
Why, that last head you did showed tremendous improvement.
Here we go, up we go.
That's right.
Hold tight.
There, now.
We'll have a beautiful one-woman show for you in no time at all.
Sit right down, that's right.
There we go.
There we are.
Now.
I've got to talk to you, Mr.
Endicott.
Later, Ruby.
But- Later.
Lyle.
What? I don't like that maid.
When are you going to get rid of her? As soon as I can find someone who'll come all the way out here.
But Bella will be back soon from her vacation.
Vacation? Martha, don't tell me you've forgotten already that Bella wrote you.
Bella wrote me? Yes.
When? Really, Lyle? Martha, she wrote you in August saying that it was too much work and that she couldn't come back.
Don't you remember, Martha? I know I get confused sometimes but this is different.
I know.
That's why I've been so very worried about you.
You've been wonderful, Lyle.
I don't know why you put up with a silly old woman.
But I do worry.
It's wrong.
Why is it wrong? She's got that vase hidden away somewhere.
What good's it doing her? I know, Lyle, but she's a helpless old woman.
I do wish you'd give up the idea.
Maybe Koether might know where it is.
I'm sure he doesn't.
Are you positive? Yes.
She's got it hidden away in that house somewhere.
I may have to strangle her, but I'll get it.
Darling.
Who's Max Reisenweber? He's one of the most important art collectors in Europe.
He's written the museum a couple of times.
Koether seems to think he's a bit shady.
Oh? Why do you ask? "And if it is a genuine Cheney vase "I may be induced to go as high as $45,000 "payable in dollars, or marks at Frankfurt.
" Think of what we could do with all that money.
We'd go to Europe, we can have cars, clothes Where's the book with the picture of the vase in it? Yeah.
"The Cheney vase is comparatively small being eight inches high.
"Made of porous sodaphine "it bears a simple crimson design on a lustrous natural background.
"It was discovered by the archeologist, William Cheney, in 1881.
" What now? I think you might start learning German and arrange about your passport.
I think we ought to deliver it to that very nice Mr.
Reisenweber in person.
Who's that? I figured you'd been up here for such a time, maybe a cup of tea would taste good.
Nobody told me, I just figured.
Now, that's very that's very kind.
Put it on the table.
I don't remember your name, my dear.
Ruby Boyenton.
Ruby where is Mr.
Endicott? I don't know.
Downstairs, I guess.
Ruby.
I want you to help me.
I've got to get out of here, and he won't let me.
He won't let me see anyone.
He's done something to the telephone and I can't call anyone.
You've got to help me.
Now, this is to my attorney.
I want you to take it and make sure that he gets it.
Will you, please? Please.
Thank you.
Allow me, dear.
Why didn't you ring? I don't think I can get what I want in this house anymore.
Martha.
You know that everything I do here is for you.
Why, I feel like almost one of the family.
Lyle, this arrangement of ours, it hasn't worked out.
I want you to go.
Martha, I'd feel guilty if I left you now.
You know you're not yourself.
You are not responsible.
I know I haven't been myself recently.
But I'm beginning to see everything very clearly now.
How can you say that, Martha? When you have such delusions.
When you can write such fantastic letters like this? Martha, really.
Hello.
Hello, darling.
Listen, I'm afraid I got some bad news.
I think our little scheme's down the drain.
The man from her bank is just here, and it seems like the Cheney vase is in the safe deposit box down there.
Good evening, darling.
How about a drink? I've had a bad day.
Why can't just once, just once, something work out right for us? And now she says she needs a rest and she wants to go off somewhere with me for a month.
Where are you going? Her sister's got a place up in Maine.
I don't know.
We'll be stuck up in the North woods with no telephone, I won't- Stop it, Lyle! I'm sick of death of your lying I'm sick of whatever you're doing to that poor woman.
What are you talking about? When you applied for your passport, you gave the museum as your business address.
I did a little checking, and suddenly everything began to fall into place.
The way you've been avoiding me that cock-and-bull story about the vase being in a bank somewhere.
And now you're going off to Maine.
All right, I'll level with you.
You're right.
I do consider you and your morality excess baggage but since I'm off to Frankfurt tonight at 8:30 What? Oh, yes.
It's been delightful, Pamela, every minute of it.
I just have time to go over and pick up the little vase from Miss Cheney's and be off.
And I wouldn't go to the police, if I were you.
That letter of recommendation you wrote implicates you just as much as me.
Hello.
Yes, Mr.
Koether.
I'm at the station.
I hate to bother you, but I have a mountain of work.
I wondered if you could come round the museum tomorrow even though it's Saturday.
Yes.
Yes, I think so.
Fine.
I'll tell you about the trip tomorrow.
Mr.
Koether, go to Mrs.
Cheney's at once, it's important.
He'll be there by 6:00.
You haven't got time.
It's almost 5:00 now.
It'll take him an hour to get there from the station.
I still have time.
I wouldn't do that, Mr.
Endicott.
That one might be the original.
And I wouldn't try to make me tell you which one it is.
I'm a poor, deluded old woman, probably mad, you know I wouldn't be able to tell one from the other.
You know, they're really rather good, those copies.
I'll probably be able to sell them for a great deal of money.
And so another American primitive was born.
Thinking our audience might be interested in obtaining a memento of tonight's story we asked Grandma Cheney to whip up a few thousand more vases.
And we're prepared to make an amazing offer on a strictly first-come first-served basis.
Listen closely, this will not be repeated.
If you wish one of these lovely vases just send us your name and address together with $45,000 in cash.
PIease do not send stamps or coins.
My, they did go fast, didn't they? Next week we shall return- Please, don't be alarmed.
Plastic.
Next week we shall return with another story.
Good night.