Boyster (2014) s01e13 Episode Script

This is the story of an extraordinary oyster.
Born from a toxic spill, he was adopted by humans with his shell brother.
And now, he must hide his secret oyster powers.
Boyster! All right.
I've made it to the rendezvous point.
And crikey as a bonzer to be back in civilization.
Till next time, this the Outdoor Commando saying good day.
- Noooo! - What? Didn't he just make it out? Yeah, but now the Outdoor Commando marathon is over.
I need more outdoor adventures.
Maybe the Commando's on the BBQ Channel.
- That's kind of outdoorsy.
- If you're such a Commandohead, maybe you should get dropped in the woods yourself and see if you make it out alive.
Hey! - That was a joke.
- No, that's a great idea! We should all do that together! Boyster, we have no idea how to survive in the wild.
- We'd be coyote chow.
- You forget I've just watched 120 episodes of Outdoor Commando.
I know every one of his survival techniques.
I can make tasty burritos from batwings.
I can start a fire with a AA battery and some armpit hair.
I can scare off predators by imitating a moose.
- Mooo! - OK.
So what do you say? I'll take care of everything.
- Food, shelter, snake bites - Snake bites?! Did I say snake? I meant mosquito.
Come on! It'll be a blast, I promise.
All you guys have to do is sit back and enjoy the scenery.
This scenery is working fine for me.
Ugh! Oh no, TV's broken.
Guess we gotta go to the wilderness.
Did you just pull the plug out? Please! Please! Please! Fine.
Yes! Mom, get the plane, we're going on an adventure! Don't worry, honey.
I installed tracking software on Boyster's phone.
Cool.
- Where are they now? - Bye, Mom.
Bye, Dad.
See you at the rendezvous point.
- Bonzai! - Geronimo! It does not fill me with confidence that our wilderness expert - is stuck in foliage.
- I'm not stuck, I meant to land here.
Uh, the Commando says you should always survey the area.
Yep, there it is, our water source.
He got you there, Shelby.
Good drop, team.
Let's move out! The Commando says to look for sustenance right away.
Commando and I are on the same page there.
Rafik! Come on, that's cheating! Hey! Candy comes from nature too I think.
Ah! Noooo! We're gonna starve! Why did I come here? Why?! Calm down, Rafik.
I'll show you how we catch our own food, Commando style! These shoelaces will make a bonzer fishing line.
Uh-oh.
Otters at six o'clock.
It's OK, Shelby.
There's plenty of fish in the river for all of us.
Yes, but your fishy odor.
Huh? Ow! Huh? Oh! I get it! The Commando must've lured those otters away so we'd have an easier time catching fish.
Impressive.
As I've always said, watching excessive TV really is the best way to learn.
You OK, Commando? Of course.
This is just my wilderness camouflage.
We saved you some fish.
Whoops.
I'm afraid our wilderness cooking skills - are a bit deficient.
- Ah, don't sweat it, Shelby.
I'm sure the Commando has a million ways to find food.
- Right, Big C? - Right.
Hmm.
Looks like a stratonimbus.
Ooh! We better build some shelter, team.
I can taste the rain coming.
You see that? He didn't even have to go online.
We'll build a lean to.
Those dead branches will be perfect for the frame.
It appears the Commando isn't infallible after all.
- He didn't see that bees nest.
- Hey, honey! Mmm! Don't you get it? He did this on purpose so we'd have some sustenance.
You're right! To the Commando! I gotta admit it, going Commando style is pretty cool after all.
- And it's so easy.
- Agreed.
Should we press on? It appears the precipitation has evaded.
Why don't you guys go ahead? Since I move so quickly through the wilderness you should get a head start.
Good thinking! What are you gonna do? Oh, I got plenty to do.
Clean up the campsite, make some notes in my wilderness journal, play some tunes on the old grass clarinet.
Nice! Catch ya later! Look at that cloud.
You think it looks like a ninja gnome? - Aw, stupid rock! - Don't! It's not a rock, it's a condor egg.
I've seen dozens of these on Vulture Vision.
Must've fallen from a nest somewhere.
Ah, it's all yours.
I'm pretty full from that honey.
I'm not proposing we eat it.
Condors are an endangered species.
Well, now I kinda do wanna eat it.
- What? - When else are we gonna get the chance? We're bringing it with us.
The Commando will know what to do with it.
Well, pick it up.
- Why me? - Perhaps you haven't noticed that I'm lacking in appendages.
The mother condor's probably worried sick.
I bet she's looking everywhere for this thing.
Leave me alone, Shelby.
There's no school today.
Huh? How in the Hmm? Your turn.
You know what'd be great right about now? - A nice dip in a pool.
- Since we're indulging our fantasies, I'd give anything for a pomegranate slushie.
Yeah, and how about a car to drive us outta here? Need a lift? It's the Commando, he understands the wilderness so well that he knows where the limos are! To the Commando! Let's go out in the middle of the wilderness.
I'll handle everything 'cause I'm such an expert.
Huh? Aw, you guys must be really hungry.
Uh It's a little well done, but it's all yours.
Maybe it's time to call Mom and Dad.
Nooo! Looks like the guys are taking a nice cool dip in the river.
See? I told you they'd be fine.
Guys, I'm all out.
I'd order us a pizza but I seem to have lost my phone.
Rafik! Oh no, he's in trouble! And it's all my fault! Stop acting like an infant.
We'll just make you another slushie.
I gotta get outta here.
What are you doing?! Those are your babies! Whew! Glad I'm not a condor chick.
Uh-oh.
Oh! No, no! Me oyster, no birdie! Brothers and sisters, I need a lift! Yikes! Eek! Ah! Pull up! Pull up! Too.
Many.
Branches.
Huh? Guys.
I'm so sorry for bringing you out here Wait.
Why are you in a swimming pool in a limousine? Pomegranate slushie? Roughing it sure is different than when we were kids.
Boyster, the wilderness is awesome! - We should do this every week.
- Yes! What about an Antarctic exploration? Or an assault on Everest? I got a better idea.
Let's just go home and play Ninja Gnomes.
Huh? Ahhh.
Guess I better take care of this first.
Bonzai! - Woo-hoo! - Outstanding, Boyster.
Uhh? Commando style! Whoa, zombie toad 3 o'clock! He's road kill.
Ahem Ta-da! Hey, Rafik.
What's up? I have a more pressing question.
What are you wearing? That dance competition is tonight, remember? We are gonna set the dance floor on fire! Maybe we should give the game a rest.
Nah.
These things never break.
Ooooh! - Rafik! Look what you did! - Sorry! No worries.
The first prize in the competition is Forget about the competition! I'm not in the mood.
- A Playbox 4000.
- I just got in the mood! The 4000! Have you seen the thing? It's got everything! Even a built-in cupholder! Let's win this! You got the moves, but I think - we need to work on your look.
- Huh? What time is it? It's Playbox time! What was that? - What was what? - That! I mean, them, I mean, those! Huh? Just as I suspected, you've contracted oysterpox, our species version of chickenpox.
Stop that! You'll only make it worse.
- Ugh! - Now, have you been in contact - with any oysters recently? - Uh I got it! I got it! I got it! It should clear up in a few days.
But the dance competition is tonight! And I'm our only hope of winning the Playbox.
Our only hope? Check my freestyling.
Ugh.
You are our only hope.
Yeah, but I can't be seen at school like this! - Isn't there a cure? - Hmmm.
I might've seen something on the Department of Fishery's website.
Shark rabies, grouper flu, shrimp lice Ah! Here it is, oysterpox! Good news, there is a cure! Oysterella, you shall go to the ball.
No! You don't drink it! Then why did you put in a paper umbrella? To keep out airborne impurities, of course! Who knows what effect ingesting will have on you.
I got this.
The cream, applied topically will dry up the spots and return your complexion to it's oystery smoothness.
But, be warned, it's highly concentrated, so use it sparingly.
It worked! Now go, go, go! Ahhh.
You can forget about taking home that Playbox.
I am the dancing king! Oh yeah? Wait 'til you see me on the floor.
Why wait? - You totally set him up for that one.
- I hate it when they do that.
Attention students, our regular dance judge, Mrs.
Arbuckle seems to have come down with a case of shrimp lice and won't be able to make it this evening.
But there's no cause for alarm, I will be filling in.
Who groaned?! I want names! Time to warm up, champ.
Huh? Look at this.
The competition hasn't even started yet and already everyone's scared of me.
Uh, yeah.
Scared all right.
Out of the way, nothin' to worry about.
Just a mild case of boogie fever.
Huh? - What's going on? - I'm gonna find out.
Good evening, Lekowsky residence.
Shelby! Boyster's head is the size of a pea! - What's happening? - Uh.
I was afraid of this.
The oysterpox cure works by drying up the liquid of each individual pock.
Despite only having a small number of pox, Boyster applied enough cream for at least 500! Thanks to this over-application, the cream no longer has any pox to dry up and has instead turned it's attention to the liquid in Boyster's head itself.
That's not good.
How do we stop it? I'm afraid the product is still in the research and development phase.
Thanks, Shelby.
You're a "big help.
" Well, the thing you have to understand about science is Hello? Ah, don't worry! I'm sure lots of people do just fine without heads.
We gotta stop the cream from working.
- I know! We need more spots! - Huh? If I get more spots, the extra cream will get to work on those and my head will stop shrinking! - Yay! - Yeah! I am Lord Rafikton Rafikly.
I demand the finest table in the house.
Of course, monsieur.
Right away.
No, no, no, no.
Unacceptable.
Your lighting is terrible and I feel a draft.
Are you joking? I'm practically in the kitchen.
And who folded these napkins, an orangutan? Please, may I offer his Lordship a selection - of our finest delicacies? - What? I hate seafood.
According to my calculations, in order to counteract the excess cream, Boyster must stay in contact with the diseased oysters for exactly 27 seconds.
That's it, Boyster.
Rub those diseased oysters all over that shriveled head.
OK, pox cream, do your thing.
My head stopped shrinking! Yay! Although you still look like a raisin.
Boyster needs to rehydrate.
Perfect.
Now let's get out there before Ozzy snags our Playbox.
- Uhh, maybe after you put on your pants? - Good plan.
A few ground rules, proper footwear must be worn at all times, singing along to the music is strictly forbidden.
Violations will result in disqualification and detention.
When you receive a cross, you're out.
My decision is final.
Ready, steady, dance! Huh? Whoo-hoo! Go, Boyster! Look what I done found in the outhouse.
Eww, cool.
What are they? I don't know.
But let's see if that there Boyster can still ho-down with these in his britches.
Ow! Come on, Mr.
Pluz, that's against the rules.
Actually, it's not.
Carry on.
Oh, no! Mmm.
Five seconds without moving leads to immediate elimination.
Huh? - Whoa.
- Yay! - Ehhh.
- You're out! Boyster wins! Yes! You can stop now, Boyster, and collect your prize.
The kid just loves to dance.
I'll get it for him.
Come on.
How did we ever manage without the cupholder? I know.
Too bad we still have to use these junky old controllers.
- Nooo! - What did you do?! Well, since operations here seem to have stalled, you won't mind if I check in on Countin' Abby.
Crazy Izzy's Electronic Gigastore presents the all new Playbox 4000 Amazatron Controller.
Wow.
To celebrate we're giving away a brand new Amazatron to the gamer with the best mustache.
Shelby's cream! I think we have a winner.