Ed, Edd n Eddy (1999) s01e13 Episode Script

Button Yer Ed/Avast Ye Eds

1
[WHISTLING]
PBBLLL!
I'M FAMISHED.
AHEM.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
I SMELL BREAKFAST.
I SMELL FRANCE.
ED, THE SCREEN DOOR!
LET'S WATCH IT.
DO YOU REALIZE YOU'VE
OPENED THE DOOR
FOR ALL WINGED INSECTS
TO INVADE MY HOME?
YOU JUST HAD TO GET HIM
STARTED, DIDN'T YOU, ED?
THE ANNOYING BUZZING AND
THEIR INSATIABLE URGE TO BITE
IS ENOUGH TO MAKE
YOUR SKIN CRAWL.
HUH?!
[BUZZING]
DO YOU HEAR IT?
OK, WE'RE SAFE,
EVERYONE STAY CALM.
I'VE GOT IT UNDER CONTROL.
IT'S ON ED!
GET IT OFF, EDDY! GET IT!
BINGO!
THIS GUY'S QUICK!
I GOT IT, I GOT IT!
OW!
PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM,
BUZZ BUG WITH WINGS THAT FLY!
THERE IT IS!
HEY, GET BACK HERE!
HA HA HA.
LOOK OUT! IT'S TOO FAST!
THERE IS GOES! I GOT IT!
I SEE IT! I GOT IT!
I SEE YOU! I GOT HIM!
[SPLAT]
WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU, EDDY?
MY EARS ARE BROKEN!
Edd: IT SEEMS THE INSECT.
HAS LODGED ITSELF
IN EDDY'S VOICE BOX,
DISABLING HIS ABILITY TO TALK.
EDDY CAN'T TALK.
I KNOW OF A TEMPORARY SOLUTION.
JUST RING THIS BELL WHEN
YOU NEED TO COMMUNICATE.
[DING-A-LING]
HELLO!
EDDY'S TRYING TO SAY SOMETHING.
EDDY WANTS AN UMBRELLA.
THE LATEST IN CHEMISTRY
THEORIES MAGAZINE?
BUTTERED TOAST?
[DING-A-LING]
[MOO]
[COW MOOS]
LET ME SEE.
HELLO, EMBARRASSING ED BOYS!
[EDDY NEIGHS]
[DING-A-LING]
WHY IS EDDY WEARING
A BELL LIKE A COW?
[LAUGHS]
EDDY FORGOT HIS VOICE.
AND TALKS TO US
BY RINGING THIS BELL.
[DING-A-LING]
HEY, EDDY'S TALKING!
WHAT IS IT, EDDY?
EDDY NEEDS TO WATER
THE CHRISTMAS TREE
BECAUSE IT'S DRY.
[BELL RINGS]
EDDY WOULD LIKE A DICTIONARY.
[BELL RINGS]
AN ATLAS?
Rolf: EDDY'S HUNGRY.
HUH? EDDY'S HUNGRY?
YES, DO YOU NOT HEAR IT?
ARE YOU SO SIMPLE?
COME! YOU ARE INVITED TO ROLF'S
FOR FOOD AND MERRIMENT.
BUT MY WHEEL WAS THROWN IN THE
WAYS OF THE READING OF THE BELLS.
ENOUGH ABOUT ROLF, PLEASE
LET US FEED OUR FACES.
HA HA! HO HO!
Ed: HELLO!
I SAW THIS MOVIE!
MOVIE BAD, FOOD IS GOOD!
ED, YOU ARE DISGRACING YOURSELF!
HEH HEH HEH.
TELL ME HOW GOOD MY
FISH STICKS ARE, PLEASE.
HUH? HUH?
CURSE MY POLITE WAYS.
A GASTRONOMIC COUP, ROLF.
EAT, HUNGRY EDDY, EAT!
[DING-A-LING]
WHAT'S EDDY SAYING, ROLF?
HMM.
IT SEEMS THAT EDDY WOULD LIKE
ONE OF US TO FEED HIM LIKE A BABY.
OH, OH, I'll DO IT!
EAT YOUR SMELLY SAUSAGE, EDDY.
[MAKING AIRPLANE SOUNDS]
HERE COMES THE CHOO-CHOO!
CHEW IT ALL UP OR NO
OCTOPUS FOR YOU, MISTER.
[DING-A-LING]
TRANSLATION, ROLF?
EDDY WISHES TO WORK OUT THE
SAUSAGE WITH OUTDOOR ACTIVITY.
SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING
I NEVER KNEW, EDDY.
A WISE CHOICE, EDDY,
A FAVORITE IN MY COUNTRY,
SECOND ONLY TO SHINING SHOES.
Ed: THIS IS FUN!
HEH HEH.
[DING-A-LING]
DUNK, EDDY.
DUNK, EDDY!
[ED GIGGLING]
[DING-A-LING]
EDDY SURE HAS GAINED
CONFIDENCE SINCE LOSING HIS VOICE.
Rolf: THE UNICYCLE OF DOOM IS A
VERY BRAVE REQUEST FOR A COWARD.
YA!
[THUD]
NOW WHAT, ROLF?
EDDY SAYS HE IS
TOO HOT AND SWEATY
AND MUST COOL OFF FOR A MOMENT.
[WHIRRING]
[WIND BLOWING]
LUCKY FOR EDDY WE GOT ROLF.
PHEW, I'M DEFINITELY HOT.
THERE HE IS!
[DING-A-LING]
NOW EDDY IS THANKING US,
OR HE WOULD LIKE HIS
THICK TOENAIL CLIPPED.
OK, YES, HE IS THANKING US.
IT'S NICE TO HELP
OUT A GOOD FRIEND.
MELON, PLEASE!
[DING-A-LING]
ROLF, EDDY WANTS SOMETHING.
Rolf: YES, EDDY, WHAT IS IT?
RING YOUR BELL, PLEASE.
EDDY!
HUH? HUH? HUH?
[TYPEWRITER CLACKING]
WHAT IS IT, ROLF?
PAPER FOR EDDY!
JUST AS I THOUGHT.
YES, EDDY, SURE!
HERE!
EDDY WOULD LIKE TO
FACE HIS GREATEST FEAR.
[ED GIGGLES]
Ed: WE GET YA, EDDY.
EDDY IS PREPARED
TO FACE THE BEAST.
[SNORTING AND SQUEALING]
BEHOLD!
[BAWK]
DO NOT CRY, EDDY. BE A BIG
MAN AND FACE YOUR FEAR.
OLE!
EDDY, CAREFUL, DO
NOT TAUNT THE DOODLE.
[CROWS]
[BOYS CHEERING]
GO, EDDY!
YOU ALMOST FELL OUT, EDDY.
THERE YOU GO!
[CROWS]
USE THE CAPE, EDDY, THE CAPE!
[ROOSTER BAWKS]
[BAWK]
[CROWS]
Jonny: GOOD WORK, PLANK!
WE'VE RESCUED ANOTHER ONE!
NOT AGAIN, JONNY!
STOP WHERE YOU STAND!
RUN, PLANK!
DO NOT FOOL ROLF!
ROLF'S NOT HERE, BUT I
GOT A GOOD IDEA WHAT
OW.
EDDY?
COME ON, ED, WE
NEED TO HELP EDDY.
PLEASE GET DRESSED
AND FOLLOW ME.
HMM. HE MUST HAVE
GONE BACK TO HIS HOME.
HEH HEH.
WHAT'S WITH THIS SHIRT!?
HUH?
HEY, I CAN TALK!
EDD, I CAN TALK!
DOUBLE-D, COME BACK
HERE! GET ME DOWN!
THE BRAIN IS AN
AMAZING ORGAN, ED.
WHY, IT'S ACTUALLY
FOOLING ME INTO THINKING
THAT EDDY'S CALLING OUT TO US.
WERE ROLF'S FISH
STICKS GOOD, DOUBLE-D?
HEY, GUYS! COME ON, WILL YA?!
IGGLE-DIGGLE- DIGGLE-DIGGLE!
THRILL OF A LIFETIME!
25 CENTS A RIDE!
[BELL RINGS]
ONLY 25 CENTS!
REAL CHEAP FOR A THRILL!
[ROLF LAUGHS]
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
IT'S A LOUSY QUARTER.
GRR!
HA!
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
DOING, WAITING FOR A BUS?
WE NEED TO SHOW THESE
FOLKS HOW MUCH FUN THIS RIDE IS
SO THEY'LL COUGH UP SOME CASH.
OH, DEAR.
DOUGHNUTS ARE MADE FOR DUNKING!
ED! EDDY!
DUNK THE DOUGHNUT!
I THINK I'M GOING TO BE ILL!
I'D PAY A QUARTER FOR THAT!
HIGHER, ED!
HA HA HA.
WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!
HEAVENS TO BETSY!
SARAH, HELP!
Edd: EDDY, HELP!
WHOA! WHOA!
EDDY!
WHOA!!
DOUBLE-D FLEW FASTER THAN
MY FATHER'S SHOE ON BAD NIGHT.
Timmy: EGAD.
ARE YOU DORKS UP TO SOMETHING?
WHAT? UH, WE WERE JUST, UH
LAUNCHING OUR NEW
LUXURY CRUISE LINE.
FOR A SMALL FEE, WE'LL
OFFER TWO LUCKY PASSENGERS
A RELAXING CRUISE.
LOOK HOW RELAXED DOUBLE-D IS.
[GROANING]
WHO'S IN FOR THE
THRILL OF A LIFETIME?
I'VE NEVER BEEN ON A
BOAT CRUISE BEFORE.
IT'S SO ROMANTIC.
ONLY 25 CENTS.
ME, ME, ME! I WANT TO GO!
GET OUT OF THE WAY!
AM I GOOD OR WHAT?
YOU'RE NUMBER TWO, EDDY.
Timmy: HURRY, JONNY!
CAPTAIN EDDY SAYS
TO TAKE THEIR DOUGH.
NICE HAT, ED.
CAPTAIN EDDY SAYS ONLY
TWO SUCKERS AT A TIME.
HOT-DIGGIDY-DOG!
LOOK, JONNY, A BRIDGE!
IS IT SAFE, CAPTAIN EDDY?
IS IT SAFE? WHAT ARE YOU?
COME ON, SQUIRTS,
THE CRUISE AWAITS!
IT SEEMS TO BE HOLDING OUT.
LOOKS SAFE TO ME.
YIY! WHOA!
LOOKS LIKE YOU
GOT A SOAKER, BOYS.
WELCOME ABOARD
EDDY'S CREEK CRUISE.
YOU LOOK LIKE A DROWNED RAT.
HERE'S A COMPLIMENTARY TOWEL.
DON'T LOSE IT, IT'S
THE ONLY ONE I GOT.
CAPTAIN EDDY, THE
BOAT SEEMS QUITE SOUND.
HOW DID YOU MANAGE
THE INFLATION OF THE BOW?
HMM.
OH, LOOK, HERE COMES OUR
ENGINEERICAL SECOND-CLASS YEOMAN.
YO, EDDY.
UH, EDDY,
ARE YOU SURE MY MOM
CAN STILL USE THIS?
[BLOWING IN BOTTLE]
WE'RE SET FOR LAUNCH, EDDY!
EVERYBODY COMFY?
LET'S SET SAIL!
[LAUGHING]
FULL SPEED THAT-AWAY!
KICK ME FEET, KICK
MY FEET, KICK MY FEET.
HEY, SAILOR, I'M PARCHED.
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT IN
THE TREASURE CHEST?
TIMMY, THE REFRESHMENTS I PREPARED
ARE CAREFULLY BLENDED FRUIT JUICES
GUARANTEED TO QUENCH A
THIRST AND PREVENT SCURVY.
AH.
HMM, THIS JUICE IS FULL OF PULP.
HUH?
JONNY.
THANKS, DOUBLE-D!
FRUIT PULP, PLANK, FRUIT PULP.
RELAX.
LAND-HO!
HUH? WHERE, EDDY, WHERE?
LAND OVER THERE,
AND LAND OVER THERE.
[GROUP LAUGHS]
IT'S A JOKE, JONNY, LIGHTEN UP.
WE OUGHT TO GET A
MAN TO DO THESE CHORES!
NICE AND CLEAN.
Eddy: PLUG UP THE STERN!
FIRE UP THE HATCHES,
REWIND THAT TAPE!
HEY, LOOK!
TORQUE UP THE TOMMYHO.
IT'S THE EDS!
AIN'T THEY DREAMY?
I JUST WANT TO HUG THA
LITTLE LOUD-MOUTHED ONE.
Eddy: TOTE THAT YARD SPRINKLER!
BATON DOWN THE POOP DECK!
[RADIO STATIC]
Edd over radio: EDDY,
JUST SPEAK INTO THE MIKE.
Eddy over radio: WHAT, THIS?
YES! OK, OK.
WELCOME, PASSENGERS,
I'M CAPTAIN EDDY
OF EDDY'S CREEK CRUISE,
WHERE YOU GET MORE
BANG FOR YOUR BUCK.
I'D LIKE YOU TO SIT BACK, RELAX,
AND ENJOY THE SOOTHING
SOUNDS OF 88 FINGERS EDDWARD.
THIS INSTRUMENT IS SO ANNOYING.
[PEDAL STEEL GUITAR PLAYING]
THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THE
HIGH SEAS AND PEDAL STEEL GUITAR
THAT MAKES ME YEARN
FOR ADVENTURE, PLANK.
EDDY, YOU'VE RUN
OUT OF REFRESHMENTS.
AND THIS RUBBER
TUBE'S GIVING ME A RASH.
HEY, KID, I'M ON MY
BREAK. DO YOU MIND?
CAPTAIN EDDY, LOOK!
WHAT IS IT, ED?
Ed: I CAN'T SEE IT, EDDY,
IT IS TOO FAR AWAY.
YOU'RE LOOKING THROUGH THE
WRONG END, GIVE ME THAT THING!
HMM. HMM.
WHAT THE HMM?
UH-OH!
Girls: HIYA, BOYS!
PIRATES!!
PIRATES! PIRATES!
PIRATES?
PIRATES LIKE TO
ROUGHHOUSE. I'M SCARED.
DO THEY?
ED, FIRE UP THE ENGINE!
ROGER, WALNUT, EDDY.
JUMP IN!
KICK MY FEET, KICK
MY FEET, KICK MY FEET.
FASTER, ED!
KICK MY FEET FASTER,
KICK MY FEET FASTER,
KICK MY FEET FASTER.
I WANT TO BE THEIR
BARNACLE OF LOVE.
Girl: BARNACLE!
WE'RE BEING CHASED
BY PIRATES, PLANK!
OH, BOY!
SOMEONE GET ME OFF THIS
MERRY-GO-ROUND CALLED LIFE!
LET'S GO RING THEIR
DOORBELL, GIRLS.
[LAUGHTER]
WE'LL HIT SHORE IN NO
TIME AND RUN LIKE COWARDS.
UM, EDDY.
THANK ME LATER, DOUBLE-D.
YOW! AH!
STOP TEASING US, BOYS!
ED, DO SOMETHING!
AHOY!
[OUTBOARD MOTOR SPUTTERING]
WHOA! WHEE!
OH, THE MISERY.
WHOO-HOO! HANG ON, PLANK!
[WHIMPERING]
WHOA! WHEE!
COME AND GET US, PIRATES!
OUR TREASURE'S GETTING AWAY!
NOT FOR LONG!
[ENGINE STARTS]
EDDY, I'M SO WET!
NO HARD FEELINGS, BUTTERCUP!
OH.
LET'S KISS AND MAKE UP!
[SMOOCHING]
OH, LOOK!
THAT KID'S RIPPING OUR SAIL!
JUST LIKE ERROL FLYNN.
YEAH, JONNY! JONNY!
THOSE WERE MY BEST BED SHEETS.
TIME FOR THE HEAVY ARTILLERY.
SINK 'EM, MAY!
PLEASE, MY PATCH!
May: HEE HEE HEE.
LOOK!
JONNY, SAVE US!
I'M THE CAPTAIN
HERE. I'll HANDLE IT!
OH, LOOK, A BOBBY PIN!
SO SCARY!
EDDY, PLEASE DON'T!
WHAT? IT'S JUST STUCK!
SEE?
[BOYS SCREAMING]
NEW RIDE.
WALK THE PLANK, YOU
SNIVELING SQUIRTS!
YEAH, OK, DO IT!
Timmy: LET'S GET I
OVER WITH, JONNY.
KEEP WALKING!
WALK, WALK! WALK, WALK!
OH, MY! I'M WALKING
ALL OVER PLANK'S FACE!
WALK! WALK! WALK!
FORGIVE ME, PLANK.
WHOA!
MY HAIR!
[CHEERING AND JEERING]
TIME TO CLAIM OUR BOOTY, GIRLS.
NOT GOOD, NOT GOOD!
Ed: AAH!
[SEAGULLS CAWING]
HELLO, ED BOYS!
WHEN IS THE NEXT SAILING?
MY FLESH BEGS ME
FOR SUN AND SWEAT!
WHAT?
HUH?
I WAS KIND OF HOPING MY
FIRST KISS WOULD BE ENJOYABLE.
ALAS, THE SEA IS
A CRUEL MISTRESS.
I'M STUFFED.
Timmy: HAIR EMERGENCY,
HAIR EMERGENCY!
[WHISTLING]
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