Everwood s01e13 Episode Script
The Price of Fame
Previously on Everwood: Amy what is it? Colin's coming home.
- So he's coming home.
- A little too soon if you ask me.
I don't remember the accident.
I don't even remember you.
- He can't even remember my name.
- My dad said it just takes a while.
I mean he'll remember eventually.
You just gotta stick it out.
You don't have to fake it anymore.
I know you don't remember me.
- I'm Amy.
- I'm Colin.
All right.
Every storyteller knows that at the heart of any great tale is the hero who inspired it.
Legends whose names are known, whose lives we remember whose stories we pass on.
Hand? - Alexander the Great.
- Okay I'm in.
Ernest Hemingway.
I fold.
Marilyn Monroe.
I got nothing.
The older the tale, the more romantic embellishments we tale-spinners add.
It helps create the illusion of an individual who is larger than life.
Dr.
Brown was a legend in his own right by the time he came to Everwood but he wasn't the only one.
Ladies and gentlemen a full house.
- She got you again Dad.
- Damn.
I thought for sure you were bluffing this time.
Wait till I tell Uta.
She'll be thrilled! - You studied acting under Uta Hagen? - Not acting darling.
Poker.
Tell him about the time you met Jack Lemmon in the john.
She was in the men's room.
It was one of those French-y restaurants.
I forget the name.
Uno Deux-no No Edna it wasn't.
It was a Mexican restaurant.
I accidentally walked into the men's room and who's standing there finishing his business but Mr.
Jack Lemmon himself? Now of course I had met him several times in passing.
She'd just seen him in Long Day's Journey couple weeks before.
Anyway I'm standing there I am so embarrassed.
- Mr.
Lemmon zipping up.
- So what did you say? Well what else could I say except: "Well nobody's perfect"? - I don't get it.
- It's a famous last line in an old movie.
We'll rent it.
You'd love it.
Could I have more water? I've got this tickle in my throat.
Sure I'll get you a fresh glass.
- You really have a beautiful home doctor.
- Thank you.
- So what brought you to Everwood? - My career was at a standstill in New York when a friend asked me to direct a stock production at the opera house.
- I was gonna stay the summer.
- How long ago was that? About 12 years ago.
And now I mostly teach classes and I'll direct a play now and again in Denver.
But every winter I direct a musical here in Everwood and Edna's my stage manager.
How about coming and auditioning? We're doing The King and I.
I'm sorry but I haven't done a musical since high school.
Even then I wasn't good.
- I had the worst time memorizing lines.
- Excuse me.
Stop by my office tomorrow so I can check that out.
There's no need.
It's probably just a silly flu.
Probably but I could take a look.
All right.
I'll make my way to your fabulous train station if you'll audition with me.
I don't know about balloon pants but I'll think about it.
- Anyone for another hand? - Not this one.
Time to hit the sack kiddo.
- It was nice meeting you Evelyn.
- Oh and you too dear.
Are you gonna try out for my musical? Well you have such expressive eyes.
You'd be a natural.
I have expressive eyes? You've gotta be kidding.
Nicole Kidman would kill for those peepers.
Now what about singing? Do you like to sing? She has a beautiful voice.
Takes after her mother that way.
Okay it's agreed.
Auditions this week and don't you forget.
I won't.
Thanks Evelyn.
And just like that a star is born.
You have to buy my sheet music first thing tomorrow.
And the star's assistant.
Hey.
You ready for your first day of school? Sure.
What's that? Your Miners jacket.
You gave it to me last year.
I thought you'd wanna wear it.
Yeah.
Sure.
Clear the way people.
Clear the way.
My brother has returned.
You've got homeroom and then first period is with Mr.
Bedford.
He's a little bit out of it so he may not even notice you.
We both have Mrs.
Chapman for journalism.
She's not nice at all.
Unless she likes you of course.
Then you're golden.
- Does she like me? - Everybody likes you Colin.
You wouldn't happen to remember where homeroom is would you? - No clue.
- That's okay I'll show you.
It's weird seeing them together again.
Like nothing ever happened.
I wouldn't know.
I know you're feeling destroyed right now but I'm here for you buddy.
Why would I be feeling destroyed? You've been holding Colin's place in line.
Now he's back you've got nowhere to stand.
You wasted time on Amy for nothing.
- It wasn't for nothing.
- Oh that's true.
It was like a practice crush.
Now you can focus on liking someone a little more your speed.
- Shut up Wendell.
Theophilus thistle the successful thistle sifter sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles.
Good luck Dan.
Knock them dead Neil.
Break a leg Alice.
Thanks Dr.
Abbott.
You too.
What are you doing here so early? You're not slated till 4.
Absolutely not.
I signed up for a 3:00 audition Mother.
I wrote down 4.
Oh well.
Tough tamales.
Beautiful isn't it? That's one of the oldest theaters in Colorado Delia.
It looks like a picture.
- You think they have regular toilets? - Why wouldn't they have regular toilets? I don't know.
Maybe they didn't have them in the olden days.
If this is the result of homeschooling I'd reconsider your options.
I take it you're auditioning doctor.
Well the audition's merely a formality but yes.
Yes I am.
You don't seem scared at all.
If you or your father perused the one-sheets outside of the opera house here you'd notice there hasn't been an Everwood winter musical in six years in which I have not played the lead.
I bet you made a great Gypsy.
Fear not doctor.
I'm sure Evelyn will find a place for you.
Perhaps in the chorus.
You're absolutely right because there's room in my musical for everyone.
Evelyn wonderful seeing you.
Harold.
Wow are my eyes fooling me or have you lost weight since last year? - I've increased the cardio.
- I can tell.
Oh Evelyn! Oh Evelyn.
Brenda.
You look more radiant every time I see you.
Do you have a sec? I would love for you to look over my music selection.
- Me too.
- I'd love to help you all.
I just need a few moments to settle in okay? Excuse me.
- Evelyn? - Yeah.
Listen Evelyn we need to talk.
If you don't have a song prepared you can sing "Happy Birthday.
" - You missed your follow-up appointment.
- Yes I did.
I'm sorry.
It must have just slipped my mind while I was readying for the auditions.
- Perhaps we can meet later.
- We should.
Very well.
I know you.
I don't think so.
I'm new here.
You're Ephram Brown the kid from New York.
- Yeah that's me.
- I thought so.
You know I know all about you.
You shouldn't waste your Google time on me.
I'm not that interesting.
Bright told me about you.
He's running on empty as far as brain cells are concerned.
- Your dad saved my life.
- Excuse me? Well I met him a few times in rehab.
He's the one that did the operation right? - That's what Bright told you? - What everyone told me.
Said he's some kind of a genius.
He likes to think so.
Well you're cool with me.
It's nice to meet you Ephram.
Sure.
Nice meeting you too.
Honestly doctor you have done a remarkable job here.
Where were you when I was building the set of Brigadoon? We could have used you.
- Why don't you sit down Evelyn.
- Oh thanks I'm fine.
Is this your son? Wow.
Why didn't he audition for us? Ephram saves his theatrical side for our arguments.
That's too bad.
He's a handsome guy a lot like his dad.
So is your beautiful daughter.
By the way your auditions were topnotch.
Evelyn I got the results of some of our blood work and I'm sorry to tell you I think you'll be very happy with the role I've chosen for you.
Really befits your stage presence.
- What I'm trying to tell you is - That I have leukemia? - You knew? - It's not an impressive guess.
I've battled that dragon before.
- I didn't know that.
- Nobody does.
At least not in Everwood.
Twelve years ago I was living in New York.
My career was on its way up.
I had been cast as a lead opposite Julie Harris in a production at Lincoln Center.
And I was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia.
Well needless to say I didn't go up in that play.
Instead I moved here with my cousin to finish out the rest of my days in peace.
And then it started to happen.
I started to get really well and before I knew it I was in full remission.
That's when my cousin suggested that I join the living and direct the winter musical.
You see doctor I came here to die.
And instead I ended up living the best years of my life.
Okay.
So here's what we're gonna do now.
We need to get you to an oncologist right away.
They'll perform a bone-marrow aspiration confirm it's still myeloid start you on chemo.
In the meantime I'll check with my friends at the Mayo Clinic.
- You know there's a trial - Does Edna know? No.
I haven't told her.
I thought you'd wanna do that.
You mustn't tell anyone.
Promise me.
Of course not.
Well I should probably go make some phone calls.
You're gonna be at rehearsal tomorrow right? You bet.
You're gonna be great you know.
- Morning Edna.
- Mighty cold day in hell sarge.
It's chilly out sure but I've seen worse.
- I remember one winter in Calgary - Evelyn flew the coop.
What do you mean? Went back to New York.
Something about helping her sister move to spend more time with her nephew.
All I know is she left us high and dry and it's not like her to do that.
- When did you get this? - I don't know when she left it.
Found it on my doorstep this morning.
Why? Do you know anything about this? - Did she say something to you? - Not a thing.
But I'm sure she'll be back.
Yeah but she doesn't say when.
And she wants me to direct the play.
Obviously the woman has lost her mind.
I don't know.
I think that's a great idea.
Are you self-medicating again? I can't direct a musical.
- Why not? - Because.
If some person wearing all black asks me what's their motivation l'm liable to smack him.
- Come on Edna you'd be terrific.
Directing's all about bossing people around yelling at them making them do things your way.
Nobody does that better than you.
Nice try but your sweet talk won't work with me.
Besides I boss people around without the fancy title.
Well that's my point.
You take control of a situation.
You're a born leader.
That's what Evelyn sees in you.
That's why she knows you can do it.
I did pick up a few things from my rumble in the jungle.
Maybe they'd apply.
As long as you don't ask the cast to make necklaces out of ears go with what you got.
- You'll be there to help me seeing as how she's cast you as the King of Siam.
The king of what? She left a script with a note.
Congrats.
Do you think we should shave your head or just get you a bald cap? Oh no.
There's gotta be some mistake.
The first read-through is this afternoon.
I expect you'll be prompt.
I wonder what the lunch lady eats for lunch.
Does she eat this stuff or brown-bag it? If she brown-bags it isn't she the one who did the cooking so wouldn't it be as bad? - Your thoughts exhaust me.
- Imagine what they do to me.
Ephram.
I saved you a seat.
It's okay.
I'm just gonna - What? - Sidebar.
Dude what is wrong with you? The popular table is beckoning.
- So? - So you can't say no.
That'd be like saying no to free comics or to making out with Gwyneth Paltrow.
- Such things are simply not done.
- Okay.
- All right.
- Bring me back a souvenir.
- You all know Ephram right? - Sure we do.
- How's it going dude? - It's going good.
- How's it going with you? - Good.
Thanks for asking.
Amy will you scoot over? You're like suffocating me here.
- Hey Ephram.
- Hey.
Oh right.
You guys obviously know each other.
No.
No not really.
I mean - Not so much.
- You're both sophomores.
I mean you must have some classes together.
I rarely attend class.
But he does go on field trips.
I need a soda.
Want something from the vending machines? I'm good thanks.
Oh wait up.
Ephram do you want anything? No thanks.
I'm good.
I can't believe all the scenes we have together.
I bet there's gonna be some private rehearsals.
Looks like I'll finally be getting to know you.
Oh boy.
I can't believe you play Anna's son.
It's not fair.
- It's fair.
I have expressive eyes.
- But I'm a real boy.
You just act like one.
- Deal with it Arnie.
- Here you go Alice.
Evelyn! - Harold hello.
Good to see you.
- Where is Evelyn? I demand to see her.
There has been a mistake.
The script I received has "Chorus/King's understudy" written on the front.
- That's not a mistake Harold.
No that's impossible.
Who else would be the? Remember Harold there are no small parts only small actors.
Whatever idiot coined that phrase was not an understudy in a community theater production.
I demand to see Evelyn about this.
Sorry folks Evelyn won't be here today.
What do you mean? She's the director.
That is not entirely the case.
Well then who's our director? - You're looking at her cupcake.
- You Mother? She had a family emergency and requested I serve in her post until she returns.
So listen up people and listen good.
Now you all know my husband Irv.
He will be operating as my stage manager.
If he sees anyone bringing food or beverage into this establishment he has my full permission to kick some thespian butt.
This includes children.
All right then.
Let's everybody turn to Page 1.
Prepare to commence with the read-through.
Pick you up same time tomorrow.
7:30? You don't have to keep driving me to school Bright.
We always came together.
If it's not out of your way that's cool.
7:30's fine.
You'll see.
It's gonna start coming back to you.
We just gotta get into the groove stick with our old routine the way it used to be.
- How do you mean? - I mean with like lunch and everything we have a set table.
It's been the same six people since eighth grade.
If we keep it the same way you'll have a better shot at jarring up those memories.
- You mean Ephram.
- Yeah.
Man he's not like us Colin.
Trust me.
I know him.
And I know you.
It's like ketchup and peanut butter.
Really bad.
Look whatever you got against this kid you're just gonna have to let it go.
I mean as far as I'm concerned he's one of us now.
So just work it out okay? Sure.
Whatever you say.
For future reference just ring the doorbell.
It's less a chance of breaking my window.
- I need to talk to you.
- And apparently it's quite urgent.
What exactly is going on between you and Colin? I mean why are you being all buddy-buddy with him? First of all I'm not being buddy-buddy with anyone.
- All right? He approached me.
- He did? Why? - I mean why? - I don't know.
Maybe he thinks I'm pretty.
I'm serious.
You must have done something to get his attention and I don't think it's a good idea.
I mean not just for me for everyone.
It's nice you're thinking about everybody for a change.
Instead of just yourself.
- Excuse me? - Look anyway what's the big deal? No big deal.
It's just uncomfortable.
Why? Whatever.
Look I have no interest in being your boyfriend's buddy.
- You don't have anything to worry about.
- So you won't say anything about? No.
I won't.
Thank you.
- That's all I needed to hear.
- Unless of course you know he asks me directly.
Asks you what? What would he ask you? I don't know.
But I'm not gonna lie.
I mean you did kiss me.
- You kissed me first.
- Don't worry.
I'm sure it won't come up.
- Are you trying to upset me Ephram? - Just being honest.
Honestly maybe you and Colin shouldn't be friends.
I mean it's not like you have anything in common anyways.
No.
No.
Wait You're right.
Why would the most perfect guy in the world have anything in common with me? - That's not what I meant.
That's what you meant.
You just didn't mean to say it.
This is hard for me too.
Okay? I wanna be friends with you the way we were.
I really do.
But Now that Colin's back in school I mean You said it yourself.
He needs me.
And I Well I'm just trying to figure out how to balance all of this Ephram.
And I will.
It's just so complicated.
I think you should get going.
Wouldn't want you to get in any more trouble tonight because of me.
Okay.
Splendid Your Majesty.
How many children have you? Don't tell me.
Wait a minute.
I know this one.
I know it.
- Sixty-seven.
- I have 67 children.
- How long will I have to have this cast on? - Could you focus? - Did I say the line right or not? - No.
Not really.
The line was "I have only 67 altogether.
" - You're not looking at the script.
- I know it already.
We've done this a hundred times doc.
Well I was close.
You don't have to get so nitpicky about it.
- But you said earlier - Forget what I said okay? Let's assume that if I'm in the ballpark it's good enough all right? Okay.
- Now let's skip ahead to the next part.
- Okay.
A missionary taught you English? Yes sir.
Missionary.
That's your cue.
- I have a line there? - Oh you do.
Let me see that.
You've been rehearsing for weeks.
You should know your lines.
You wanna wear this cast forever? - I need more plaster.
- Storage.
How's it going on those lines sarge? Oh great.
Just really really great.
I have altogether 42 children? - Ready for lunch honey? - Lunch? Who has time for lunch? I've got blocking to finish.
I've got Lady Thiang exiting downstage left just as Tuptim enters.
It's a collision course waiting to happen.
Maybe you should take a break.
You seem stressed-out.
Why would I be stressed? The play goes up in three days I have seven dances to choreograph I've got a lead who can't remember his lines and I've got a stage manager who apparently thinks he's on vacation.
Yo E what's up? - "E"? I'm E now? - Hi Ephram.
- Hello.
- Why does everybody know my name? In case you haven't noticed you're the new "it" boy.
- Why? I didn't do anything.
- You've been Colin-approved.
When the most popular guy in school takes you under his wing you're in the club.
He just likes me because of my dad.
Who cares why he likes you? Nepotism is a beautiful thing E.
Embrace it.
- Don't ever call me E again.
- Hey E.
I already have a plan.
You are part of the plan.
What is good in Western culture I could drive a train through those gaps Brown.
Speed it up.
What is good in Western culture I already have a plan.
Already I have bring printing press here for printing.
- What he said.
- Yes I know Your Majesty but there's the - Cut.
Just cut.
- lf I could just stay on-book a little longer - Where the hell is my stage manager? How long does it take for a latte run? - Perhaps he fled the country.
- Wise man.
From the top.
Faster.
- You are school teacher? - Yes Majesty.
When do I start my work? - I will tell you when I wish you to start.
- Okay but there This is ridiculous.
They don't talk this fast on West Wing.
That does it.
Drop and give me 20.
- Oh not again.
- Hit the deck Baxworth.
- I miss Evelyn.
- You say something Alice? - Sir no sir! - For heaven's sake Mother.
This is a theater not a battlefield.
And there are ways to address an actor during the rehearsal process.
Even a God-awful actor like Dr.
Brown deserves encouragement.
Directing requires precision and creativity inspiration and heart.
Evelyn Rauser possesses all of those qualities.
- And she's nice to us.
- And she doesn't make us do pushups.
I got an idea.
Cue cards! Mother we're fed up.
This is not boot camp.
We do not wanna be treated like we're All right everybody listen up.
Either we do this my way or not at all.
Anybody who doesn't like it can leave right now.
I'm out of here.
Good luck Mother.
Listen Edna Forget it doc.
Leave me alone.
Let's get a game going.
Bright and Ted you're captains.
- Ted you're first.
- Dana.
Ephram Brown.
Ephram! Dude I picked you.
- Why? - Move it Ephram.
Come on.
Todd.
- What are you doing? - Picking my team.
- Alex.
- But you hate me.
- No I don't.
I like you.
- Kurt.
- Since when? - I've always been fond of you.
I'm just I'm shy you know? Al.
- Name one thing you like about me.
- Just one? How about a thousand? You're You're sensitive extremely clean Look Bright I know you hate me and I'm fine with it.
It means the planets are aligned.
So let's not mess with the universe okay? You wanna pick the next guy? - Speak up.
- Louder! That's not whistling that's blowing.
Yeah.
I don't think so.
Dr.
Brown.
I wasn't expecting to see you again until Friday.
Come in.
Would you like some tea doctor? I'm having some.
No.
No thanks.
I was just checking in.
Wanted to see how everything worked out with the Mayo Clinic.
Well I'm going to Minnesota next Monday.
- I appreciate all your string-pulling.
- I'm happy to help.
I feel as though I haven't done enough these past few weeks.
What more could you do? So what are you really here for? You still having trouble with your lines? I think you should tell them Evelyn.
These people care about you.
- lf they knew what you're going through - Then what? What they'd all come trotting by with their tins of baked goods? No thank you.
I prefer my solitude.
There's a certain dignity to it.
- Don't you agree? - No I don't.
There's no reason why you should have to go through this alone especially when it's so unnecessary.
I have seen people in your position who had no friends or family who were forced to go through the pain and the loneliness of sickness.
But you are choosing it.
And I don't understand that.
It's okay to let them see that you're human.
Excuse me? Look I know what it's like.
People think of you as this god and worship you to the point where they turn you into something that you can't ever really be.
That you shouldn't have to be.
You don't have to be perfect Evelyn.
You can be sick.
They'll still love you.
In fact they'll probably love you even more for it.
I appreciate the sentiment but these people need me to be their hero and I love playing the role.
I'm sorry you didn't enjoy the adoration of the masses but I do.
Where's the harm? In the end everybody gets what they want.
What if you don't get better? Then what? Then everybody will get what they've always had an idea of me.
Well Edna is your friend and she's working her ass off right now trying to be you when she has no idea that it's all smoke and mirrors.
Is that fair? There are lots of things in life that aren't fair darling.
And you of all people should know that.
Hey Ephram you want a ride? No I'm okay.
I'm gonna ride my bike.
We can put it in back man.
Just hop in.
No.
I mean I'm fine.
Really.
Maybe he wants to ride his bike Colin.
Well why would he wanna do that? Come on we can make room.
Amy can sit in my lap l Yeah I don't need a ride.
Okay? I don't need to be sitting at your tables or playing on your teams.
Dude what is your problem? You're my problem dude.
Look my dad helped you.
If you wanna thank him be my guest.
I had nothing to do with it.
Leave me alone.
Believe it or not I have no interest in being your charity case.
It's not like that man.
Yeah it is.
Trust me.
You and I we have nothing in common.
If you want go back to the way it was.
You all ignore me and I will be more than happy to do the same.
Okay? All of you.
I tried to tell you man.
He's a wack job.
Amy get in the truck.
- I don't suppose you serve margaritas.
- Evelyn? I'll have what she's having please.
I thought you were in New York.
- Your note said you had gone - About the note It's full of bull.
I'm a fantastic liar.
Well the joke's on you because it turns out I'm a lousy director.
I single-handedly ruined your musical.
I'm sure it's safe to assume that you did not single-handedly ruin anything.
In fact I'm certain that you had help in the destruction of Siam.
The truth is I tried.
I just couldn't do it.
I'm not you Evelyn.
No.
No you most certainly are not.
You're better.
You're real Edna.
Real people make mistakes.
They fall down on the world and they pick themselves up bloodied knees and all.
I just wanted it to be perfect you know? I didn't pick you to direct my play because I thought you were gonna be perfect.
In fact I chose you because I knew you wouldn't be and that you wouldn't let it stop you.
I heard that I made a teeny-weeny casting faux pas.
Oh boy.
- So you wouldn't mind if l? - Darling the play is yours.
Do with it what you wish.
You probably shouldn't drink that.
Well nobody's perfect.
Well looks normal to me sweetheart.
What exactly is it that's bothering you? Is it a sore throat? Tummy ache? Let's see.
I've been having hot flashes insomnia and "osteorosis.
" That does sound serious.
I thought so too.
And it might even be contagious.
I probably shouldn't be around people for a while.
Well menopause isn't normally contagious honey.
But then again it's also rare for it to occur in 9-year-old girls.
There's a first time for everything.
Well I guess we'll have to get you to a hospital.
Take some blood tests run a few CAT scans.
Blood tests? Like with needles? - Oh yeah.
Big ones.
- Dad maybe I don't have menopause.
Oh really? Something else then? Maybe I just don't wanna do the play anymore.
Why sweetheart? Because what if I stink? Then all those people will boo at me.
If they boo at anybody it'll be the guy who can't remember his lines.
Trust me you're not gonna stink.
Well maybe I won't stink as bad as you but even still I could forget everything even how to sing.
Do you remember when Uncle Brian was here and I had to do brain surgery again and I hadn't done it in a long time? - I was scared.
- You were? I was terrified.
I thought I was gonna forget how to do everything.
I woke up that morning and I thought "There's no way.
I can't do this.
" - You seemed okay to me.
- Well that's what I wanted you to think.
But I was faking.
I pretended that I was okay when deep down I was really afraid.
Next thing I knew I was in the hospital room doing brain surgery.
And you know what? I got so good at pretending to be fine that I actually was.
It's called "fake it till you make it.
" - Like my song says.
- What song? - In the play.
- Oh yeah.
Fake it till you make it.
I can do that.
I know you can.
- Your mom would be so proud of you.
- Really? Really.
- Good night sweetheart.
- Good night Dad.
You really think I'm gonna stink? - Can I talk to you for a second? - I thought we already finished this.
Not exactly.
I lied to you Ephram.
I acted like the reason I was gonna be your friend was because of your dad but it's not.
It's something else.
All right.
Let's hear it.
I don't know you.
But more importantly is you don't know me.
You're the only person in this school who doesn't expect me to remember them or expect me to be this guy that I don't even know who he was.
And I'm trying to please all these people but it's wearing me out man.
I can understand that.
But it's different with you because you don't have any expectations.
And I don't have to feel guilty for not knowing you.
See in a way I mean you know we're both new.
And you look about as out of place as I feel which is probably why I approached you.
But what I don't get is why you don't like me.
Who said I didn't like you? Well it's obvious you don't like hanging around me.
Is there a reason? No.
No reason.
We're cool.
Cool.
So let's talk about this "E" thing.
Who came up with that? Probably Bright.
Right.
Hello everyone.
Okay then.
- You look nice today Baxworth.
- I do? Yeah.
Radiant.
- Thank you Edna.
- And Alice Sir yes sir.
You make a fine Tuptim.
I like what you've done with the part.
I should have told you that before.
I'm sorry if I haven't been very Nice? Encouraging.
Private! I don't think I have to tell you what great work you're doing.
You really had me convinced you're a boy on that stage and it freaks me out.
- Thanks Edna.
- And Dr.
Brown? - Yes? - You're fired.
- I'm what? - Executive decision.
Had to be made.
I'd appreciate it if you'd turn in your walking papers and exit without too much of a fuss.
But I was making so much progress.
How many children does Your Majesty have? Thirty-seven? - Junior! - Six! How do you feel about playing the King of Siam? - Who's offering? - I am.
Gee Mother I don't know.
Spielberg's heard of my work as the understudy.
- We're in talks.
- Come on Junior! The play needs you.
Well I suppose the show must go on.
Wouldn't want to let down Everwood's theater-going community.
All right people.
Swallow that last bite of crumb cake.
We've got a dress rehearsal to get on.
Delia was never in Romeo and Juliet.
She was not the girl in Sleepless in Seattle.
- She wasn't even born when it came out.
- lf you're gonna dream dream big.
Dr.
Brown? - Hey Colin.
How you feeling? - Pretty good.
Look I know my parents probably sent you enough gift baskets to last a lifetime but I guess I just wanted to come by and thank you myself.
You just keep doing what you're doing.
That's all the thanks I need.
Ephram do you wanna come sit with us? We saved a few extra seats.
No.
No thanks.
I'm just gonna chill here with my dad.
- Okay.
- Catch you later.
- You two friends now? - Kind of.
- Turns out we have some stuff in common.
- You mean Amy? - Surprisingly it has nothing to do with Amy.
- So why don't you sit with him? Because of Amy.
So who's this Evelyn Rauser? - Why do you ask? - Well I don't know.
- The play's dedicated to her.
Is she famous? - She's something of a legend around here.
- She the reason you got fired? - I did not get fired.
I chose to step down from the role.
Artistic differences.
Dad? It's nice to know you're not awesome at everything.
All right troops fall in! She means form a line morons.
I'll make this brief as we've got civilians out there waiting to be entertained.
You've all worked hard.
You've worked long.
You've struggled against formidable odds to get where you are tonight.
I'd be proud to lead you into battle anytime anyplace.
That's all.
Go get them soldiers.
And good luck.
I thought it was bad luck to say "good luck.
" It is but let's not tell her that.
Places everybody! Evelyn Rauser had an expression for the few seconds before the curtain went up.
She called it "the holy time.
" But you don't have to be an actor to know what the holy time feels like.
It's that breath you take just seconds before you become the person you're meant to become.
For some people, it feels like forever.
And for some, it's a moment over far too fast.
- So he's coming home.
- A little too soon if you ask me.
I don't remember the accident.
I don't even remember you.
- He can't even remember my name.
- My dad said it just takes a while.
I mean he'll remember eventually.
You just gotta stick it out.
You don't have to fake it anymore.
I know you don't remember me.
- I'm Amy.
- I'm Colin.
All right.
Every storyteller knows that at the heart of any great tale is the hero who inspired it.
Legends whose names are known, whose lives we remember whose stories we pass on.
Hand? - Alexander the Great.
- Okay I'm in.
Ernest Hemingway.
I fold.
Marilyn Monroe.
I got nothing.
The older the tale, the more romantic embellishments we tale-spinners add.
It helps create the illusion of an individual who is larger than life.
Dr.
Brown was a legend in his own right by the time he came to Everwood but he wasn't the only one.
Ladies and gentlemen a full house.
- She got you again Dad.
- Damn.
I thought for sure you were bluffing this time.
Wait till I tell Uta.
She'll be thrilled! - You studied acting under Uta Hagen? - Not acting darling.
Poker.
Tell him about the time you met Jack Lemmon in the john.
She was in the men's room.
It was one of those French-y restaurants.
I forget the name.
Uno Deux-no No Edna it wasn't.
It was a Mexican restaurant.
I accidentally walked into the men's room and who's standing there finishing his business but Mr.
Jack Lemmon himself? Now of course I had met him several times in passing.
She'd just seen him in Long Day's Journey couple weeks before.
Anyway I'm standing there I am so embarrassed.
- Mr.
Lemmon zipping up.
- So what did you say? Well what else could I say except: "Well nobody's perfect"? - I don't get it.
- It's a famous last line in an old movie.
We'll rent it.
You'd love it.
Could I have more water? I've got this tickle in my throat.
Sure I'll get you a fresh glass.
- You really have a beautiful home doctor.
- Thank you.
- So what brought you to Everwood? - My career was at a standstill in New York when a friend asked me to direct a stock production at the opera house.
- I was gonna stay the summer.
- How long ago was that? About 12 years ago.
And now I mostly teach classes and I'll direct a play now and again in Denver.
But every winter I direct a musical here in Everwood and Edna's my stage manager.
How about coming and auditioning? We're doing The King and I.
I'm sorry but I haven't done a musical since high school.
Even then I wasn't good.
- I had the worst time memorizing lines.
- Excuse me.
Stop by my office tomorrow so I can check that out.
There's no need.
It's probably just a silly flu.
Probably but I could take a look.
All right.
I'll make my way to your fabulous train station if you'll audition with me.
I don't know about balloon pants but I'll think about it.
- Anyone for another hand? - Not this one.
Time to hit the sack kiddo.
- It was nice meeting you Evelyn.
- Oh and you too dear.
Are you gonna try out for my musical? Well you have such expressive eyes.
You'd be a natural.
I have expressive eyes? You've gotta be kidding.
Nicole Kidman would kill for those peepers.
Now what about singing? Do you like to sing? She has a beautiful voice.
Takes after her mother that way.
Okay it's agreed.
Auditions this week and don't you forget.
I won't.
Thanks Evelyn.
And just like that a star is born.
You have to buy my sheet music first thing tomorrow.
And the star's assistant.
Hey.
You ready for your first day of school? Sure.
What's that? Your Miners jacket.
You gave it to me last year.
I thought you'd wanna wear it.
Yeah.
Sure.
Clear the way people.
Clear the way.
My brother has returned.
You've got homeroom and then first period is with Mr.
Bedford.
He's a little bit out of it so he may not even notice you.
We both have Mrs.
Chapman for journalism.
She's not nice at all.
Unless she likes you of course.
Then you're golden.
- Does she like me? - Everybody likes you Colin.
You wouldn't happen to remember where homeroom is would you? - No clue.
- That's okay I'll show you.
It's weird seeing them together again.
Like nothing ever happened.
I wouldn't know.
I know you're feeling destroyed right now but I'm here for you buddy.
Why would I be feeling destroyed? You've been holding Colin's place in line.
Now he's back you've got nowhere to stand.
You wasted time on Amy for nothing.
- It wasn't for nothing.
- Oh that's true.
It was like a practice crush.
Now you can focus on liking someone a little more your speed.
- Shut up Wendell.
Theophilus thistle the successful thistle sifter sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles.
Good luck Dan.
Knock them dead Neil.
Break a leg Alice.
Thanks Dr.
Abbott.
You too.
What are you doing here so early? You're not slated till 4.
Absolutely not.
I signed up for a 3:00 audition Mother.
I wrote down 4.
Oh well.
Tough tamales.
Beautiful isn't it? That's one of the oldest theaters in Colorado Delia.
It looks like a picture.
- You think they have regular toilets? - Why wouldn't they have regular toilets? I don't know.
Maybe they didn't have them in the olden days.
If this is the result of homeschooling I'd reconsider your options.
I take it you're auditioning doctor.
Well the audition's merely a formality but yes.
Yes I am.
You don't seem scared at all.
If you or your father perused the one-sheets outside of the opera house here you'd notice there hasn't been an Everwood winter musical in six years in which I have not played the lead.
I bet you made a great Gypsy.
Fear not doctor.
I'm sure Evelyn will find a place for you.
Perhaps in the chorus.
You're absolutely right because there's room in my musical for everyone.
Evelyn wonderful seeing you.
Harold.
Wow are my eyes fooling me or have you lost weight since last year? - I've increased the cardio.
- I can tell.
Oh Evelyn! Oh Evelyn.
Brenda.
You look more radiant every time I see you.
Do you have a sec? I would love for you to look over my music selection.
- Me too.
- I'd love to help you all.
I just need a few moments to settle in okay? Excuse me.
- Evelyn? - Yeah.
Listen Evelyn we need to talk.
If you don't have a song prepared you can sing "Happy Birthday.
" - You missed your follow-up appointment.
- Yes I did.
I'm sorry.
It must have just slipped my mind while I was readying for the auditions.
- Perhaps we can meet later.
- We should.
Very well.
I know you.
I don't think so.
I'm new here.
You're Ephram Brown the kid from New York.
- Yeah that's me.
- I thought so.
You know I know all about you.
You shouldn't waste your Google time on me.
I'm not that interesting.
Bright told me about you.
He's running on empty as far as brain cells are concerned.
- Your dad saved my life.
- Excuse me? Well I met him a few times in rehab.
He's the one that did the operation right? - That's what Bright told you? - What everyone told me.
Said he's some kind of a genius.
He likes to think so.
Well you're cool with me.
It's nice to meet you Ephram.
Sure.
Nice meeting you too.
Honestly doctor you have done a remarkable job here.
Where were you when I was building the set of Brigadoon? We could have used you.
- Why don't you sit down Evelyn.
- Oh thanks I'm fine.
Is this your son? Wow.
Why didn't he audition for us? Ephram saves his theatrical side for our arguments.
That's too bad.
He's a handsome guy a lot like his dad.
So is your beautiful daughter.
By the way your auditions were topnotch.
Evelyn I got the results of some of our blood work and I'm sorry to tell you I think you'll be very happy with the role I've chosen for you.
Really befits your stage presence.
- What I'm trying to tell you is - That I have leukemia? - You knew? - It's not an impressive guess.
I've battled that dragon before.
- I didn't know that.
- Nobody does.
At least not in Everwood.
Twelve years ago I was living in New York.
My career was on its way up.
I had been cast as a lead opposite Julie Harris in a production at Lincoln Center.
And I was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia.
Well needless to say I didn't go up in that play.
Instead I moved here with my cousin to finish out the rest of my days in peace.
And then it started to happen.
I started to get really well and before I knew it I was in full remission.
That's when my cousin suggested that I join the living and direct the winter musical.
You see doctor I came here to die.
And instead I ended up living the best years of my life.
Okay.
So here's what we're gonna do now.
We need to get you to an oncologist right away.
They'll perform a bone-marrow aspiration confirm it's still myeloid start you on chemo.
In the meantime I'll check with my friends at the Mayo Clinic.
- You know there's a trial - Does Edna know? No.
I haven't told her.
I thought you'd wanna do that.
You mustn't tell anyone.
Promise me.
Of course not.
Well I should probably go make some phone calls.
You're gonna be at rehearsal tomorrow right? You bet.
You're gonna be great you know.
- Morning Edna.
- Mighty cold day in hell sarge.
It's chilly out sure but I've seen worse.
- I remember one winter in Calgary - Evelyn flew the coop.
What do you mean? Went back to New York.
Something about helping her sister move to spend more time with her nephew.
All I know is she left us high and dry and it's not like her to do that.
- When did you get this? - I don't know when she left it.
Found it on my doorstep this morning.
Why? Do you know anything about this? - Did she say something to you? - Not a thing.
But I'm sure she'll be back.
Yeah but she doesn't say when.
And she wants me to direct the play.
Obviously the woman has lost her mind.
I don't know.
I think that's a great idea.
Are you self-medicating again? I can't direct a musical.
- Why not? - Because.
If some person wearing all black asks me what's their motivation l'm liable to smack him.
- Come on Edna you'd be terrific.
Directing's all about bossing people around yelling at them making them do things your way.
Nobody does that better than you.
Nice try but your sweet talk won't work with me.
Besides I boss people around without the fancy title.
Well that's my point.
You take control of a situation.
You're a born leader.
That's what Evelyn sees in you.
That's why she knows you can do it.
I did pick up a few things from my rumble in the jungle.
Maybe they'd apply.
As long as you don't ask the cast to make necklaces out of ears go with what you got.
- You'll be there to help me seeing as how she's cast you as the King of Siam.
The king of what? She left a script with a note.
Congrats.
Do you think we should shave your head or just get you a bald cap? Oh no.
There's gotta be some mistake.
The first read-through is this afternoon.
I expect you'll be prompt.
I wonder what the lunch lady eats for lunch.
Does she eat this stuff or brown-bag it? If she brown-bags it isn't she the one who did the cooking so wouldn't it be as bad? - Your thoughts exhaust me.
- Imagine what they do to me.
Ephram.
I saved you a seat.
It's okay.
I'm just gonna - What? - Sidebar.
Dude what is wrong with you? The popular table is beckoning.
- So? - So you can't say no.
That'd be like saying no to free comics or to making out with Gwyneth Paltrow.
- Such things are simply not done.
- Okay.
- All right.
- Bring me back a souvenir.
- You all know Ephram right? - Sure we do.
- How's it going dude? - It's going good.
- How's it going with you? - Good.
Thanks for asking.
Amy will you scoot over? You're like suffocating me here.
- Hey Ephram.
- Hey.
Oh right.
You guys obviously know each other.
No.
No not really.
I mean - Not so much.
- You're both sophomores.
I mean you must have some classes together.
I rarely attend class.
But he does go on field trips.
I need a soda.
Want something from the vending machines? I'm good thanks.
Oh wait up.
Ephram do you want anything? No thanks.
I'm good.
I can't believe all the scenes we have together.
I bet there's gonna be some private rehearsals.
Looks like I'll finally be getting to know you.
Oh boy.
I can't believe you play Anna's son.
It's not fair.
- It's fair.
I have expressive eyes.
- But I'm a real boy.
You just act like one.
- Deal with it Arnie.
- Here you go Alice.
Evelyn! - Harold hello.
Good to see you.
- Where is Evelyn? I demand to see her.
There has been a mistake.
The script I received has "Chorus/King's understudy" written on the front.
- That's not a mistake Harold.
No that's impossible.
Who else would be the? Remember Harold there are no small parts only small actors.
Whatever idiot coined that phrase was not an understudy in a community theater production.
I demand to see Evelyn about this.
Sorry folks Evelyn won't be here today.
What do you mean? She's the director.
That is not entirely the case.
Well then who's our director? - You're looking at her cupcake.
- You Mother? She had a family emergency and requested I serve in her post until she returns.
So listen up people and listen good.
Now you all know my husband Irv.
He will be operating as my stage manager.
If he sees anyone bringing food or beverage into this establishment he has my full permission to kick some thespian butt.
This includes children.
All right then.
Let's everybody turn to Page 1.
Prepare to commence with the read-through.
Pick you up same time tomorrow.
7:30? You don't have to keep driving me to school Bright.
We always came together.
If it's not out of your way that's cool.
7:30's fine.
You'll see.
It's gonna start coming back to you.
We just gotta get into the groove stick with our old routine the way it used to be.
- How do you mean? - I mean with like lunch and everything we have a set table.
It's been the same six people since eighth grade.
If we keep it the same way you'll have a better shot at jarring up those memories.
- You mean Ephram.
- Yeah.
Man he's not like us Colin.
Trust me.
I know him.
And I know you.
It's like ketchup and peanut butter.
Really bad.
Look whatever you got against this kid you're just gonna have to let it go.
I mean as far as I'm concerned he's one of us now.
So just work it out okay? Sure.
Whatever you say.
For future reference just ring the doorbell.
It's less a chance of breaking my window.
- I need to talk to you.
- And apparently it's quite urgent.
What exactly is going on between you and Colin? I mean why are you being all buddy-buddy with him? First of all I'm not being buddy-buddy with anyone.
- All right? He approached me.
- He did? Why? - I mean why? - I don't know.
Maybe he thinks I'm pretty.
I'm serious.
You must have done something to get his attention and I don't think it's a good idea.
I mean not just for me for everyone.
It's nice you're thinking about everybody for a change.
Instead of just yourself.
- Excuse me? - Look anyway what's the big deal? No big deal.
It's just uncomfortable.
Why? Whatever.
Look I have no interest in being your boyfriend's buddy.
- You don't have anything to worry about.
- So you won't say anything about? No.
I won't.
Thank you.
- That's all I needed to hear.
- Unless of course you know he asks me directly.
Asks you what? What would he ask you? I don't know.
But I'm not gonna lie.
I mean you did kiss me.
- You kissed me first.
- Don't worry.
I'm sure it won't come up.
- Are you trying to upset me Ephram? - Just being honest.
Honestly maybe you and Colin shouldn't be friends.
I mean it's not like you have anything in common anyways.
No.
No.
Wait You're right.
Why would the most perfect guy in the world have anything in common with me? - That's not what I meant.
That's what you meant.
You just didn't mean to say it.
This is hard for me too.
Okay? I wanna be friends with you the way we were.
I really do.
But Now that Colin's back in school I mean You said it yourself.
He needs me.
And I Well I'm just trying to figure out how to balance all of this Ephram.
And I will.
It's just so complicated.
I think you should get going.
Wouldn't want you to get in any more trouble tonight because of me.
Okay.
Splendid Your Majesty.
How many children have you? Don't tell me.
Wait a minute.
I know this one.
I know it.
- Sixty-seven.
- I have 67 children.
- How long will I have to have this cast on? - Could you focus? - Did I say the line right or not? - No.
Not really.
The line was "I have only 67 altogether.
" - You're not looking at the script.
- I know it already.
We've done this a hundred times doc.
Well I was close.
You don't have to get so nitpicky about it.
- But you said earlier - Forget what I said okay? Let's assume that if I'm in the ballpark it's good enough all right? Okay.
- Now let's skip ahead to the next part.
- Okay.
A missionary taught you English? Yes sir.
Missionary.
That's your cue.
- I have a line there? - Oh you do.
Let me see that.
You've been rehearsing for weeks.
You should know your lines.
You wanna wear this cast forever? - I need more plaster.
- Storage.
How's it going on those lines sarge? Oh great.
Just really really great.
I have altogether 42 children? - Ready for lunch honey? - Lunch? Who has time for lunch? I've got blocking to finish.
I've got Lady Thiang exiting downstage left just as Tuptim enters.
It's a collision course waiting to happen.
Maybe you should take a break.
You seem stressed-out.
Why would I be stressed? The play goes up in three days I have seven dances to choreograph I've got a lead who can't remember his lines and I've got a stage manager who apparently thinks he's on vacation.
Yo E what's up? - "E"? I'm E now? - Hi Ephram.
- Hello.
- Why does everybody know my name? In case you haven't noticed you're the new "it" boy.
- Why? I didn't do anything.
- You've been Colin-approved.
When the most popular guy in school takes you under his wing you're in the club.
He just likes me because of my dad.
Who cares why he likes you? Nepotism is a beautiful thing E.
Embrace it.
- Don't ever call me E again.
- Hey E.
I already have a plan.
You are part of the plan.
What is good in Western culture I could drive a train through those gaps Brown.
Speed it up.
What is good in Western culture I already have a plan.
Already I have bring printing press here for printing.
- What he said.
- Yes I know Your Majesty but there's the - Cut.
Just cut.
- lf I could just stay on-book a little longer - Where the hell is my stage manager? How long does it take for a latte run? - Perhaps he fled the country.
- Wise man.
From the top.
Faster.
- You are school teacher? - Yes Majesty.
When do I start my work? - I will tell you when I wish you to start.
- Okay but there This is ridiculous.
They don't talk this fast on West Wing.
That does it.
Drop and give me 20.
- Oh not again.
- Hit the deck Baxworth.
- I miss Evelyn.
- You say something Alice? - Sir no sir! - For heaven's sake Mother.
This is a theater not a battlefield.
And there are ways to address an actor during the rehearsal process.
Even a God-awful actor like Dr.
Brown deserves encouragement.
Directing requires precision and creativity inspiration and heart.
Evelyn Rauser possesses all of those qualities.
- And she's nice to us.
- And she doesn't make us do pushups.
I got an idea.
Cue cards! Mother we're fed up.
This is not boot camp.
We do not wanna be treated like we're All right everybody listen up.
Either we do this my way or not at all.
Anybody who doesn't like it can leave right now.
I'm out of here.
Good luck Mother.
Listen Edna Forget it doc.
Leave me alone.
Let's get a game going.
Bright and Ted you're captains.
- Ted you're first.
- Dana.
Ephram Brown.
Ephram! Dude I picked you.
- Why? - Move it Ephram.
Come on.
Todd.
- What are you doing? - Picking my team.
- Alex.
- But you hate me.
- No I don't.
I like you.
- Kurt.
- Since when? - I've always been fond of you.
I'm just I'm shy you know? Al.
- Name one thing you like about me.
- Just one? How about a thousand? You're You're sensitive extremely clean Look Bright I know you hate me and I'm fine with it.
It means the planets are aligned.
So let's not mess with the universe okay? You wanna pick the next guy? - Speak up.
- Louder! That's not whistling that's blowing.
Yeah.
I don't think so.
Dr.
Brown.
I wasn't expecting to see you again until Friday.
Come in.
Would you like some tea doctor? I'm having some.
No.
No thanks.
I was just checking in.
Wanted to see how everything worked out with the Mayo Clinic.
Well I'm going to Minnesota next Monday.
- I appreciate all your string-pulling.
- I'm happy to help.
I feel as though I haven't done enough these past few weeks.
What more could you do? So what are you really here for? You still having trouble with your lines? I think you should tell them Evelyn.
These people care about you.
- lf they knew what you're going through - Then what? What they'd all come trotting by with their tins of baked goods? No thank you.
I prefer my solitude.
There's a certain dignity to it.
- Don't you agree? - No I don't.
There's no reason why you should have to go through this alone especially when it's so unnecessary.
I have seen people in your position who had no friends or family who were forced to go through the pain and the loneliness of sickness.
But you are choosing it.
And I don't understand that.
It's okay to let them see that you're human.
Excuse me? Look I know what it's like.
People think of you as this god and worship you to the point where they turn you into something that you can't ever really be.
That you shouldn't have to be.
You don't have to be perfect Evelyn.
You can be sick.
They'll still love you.
In fact they'll probably love you even more for it.
I appreciate the sentiment but these people need me to be their hero and I love playing the role.
I'm sorry you didn't enjoy the adoration of the masses but I do.
Where's the harm? In the end everybody gets what they want.
What if you don't get better? Then what? Then everybody will get what they've always had an idea of me.
Well Edna is your friend and she's working her ass off right now trying to be you when she has no idea that it's all smoke and mirrors.
Is that fair? There are lots of things in life that aren't fair darling.
And you of all people should know that.
Hey Ephram you want a ride? No I'm okay.
I'm gonna ride my bike.
We can put it in back man.
Just hop in.
No.
I mean I'm fine.
Really.
Maybe he wants to ride his bike Colin.
Well why would he wanna do that? Come on we can make room.
Amy can sit in my lap l Yeah I don't need a ride.
Okay? I don't need to be sitting at your tables or playing on your teams.
Dude what is your problem? You're my problem dude.
Look my dad helped you.
If you wanna thank him be my guest.
I had nothing to do with it.
Leave me alone.
Believe it or not I have no interest in being your charity case.
It's not like that man.
Yeah it is.
Trust me.
You and I we have nothing in common.
If you want go back to the way it was.
You all ignore me and I will be more than happy to do the same.
Okay? All of you.
I tried to tell you man.
He's a wack job.
Amy get in the truck.
- I don't suppose you serve margaritas.
- Evelyn? I'll have what she's having please.
I thought you were in New York.
- Your note said you had gone - About the note It's full of bull.
I'm a fantastic liar.
Well the joke's on you because it turns out I'm a lousy director.
I single-handedly ruined your musical.
I'm sure it's safe to assume that you did not single-handedly ruin anything.
In fact I'm certain that you had help in the destruction of Siam.
The truth is I tried.
I just couldn't do it.
I'm not you Evelyn.
No.
No you most certainly are not.
You're better.
You're real Edna.
Real people make mistakes.
They fall down on the world and they pick themselves up bloodied knees and all.
I just wanted it to be perfect you know? I didn't pick you to direct my play because I thought you were gonna be perfect.
In fact I chose you because I knew you wouldn't be and that you wouldn't let it stop you.
I heard that I made a teeny-weeny casting faux pas.
Oh boy.
- So you wouldn't mind if l? - Darling the play is yours.
Do with it what you wish.
You probably shouldn't drink that.
Well nobody's perfect.
Well looks normal to me sweetheart.
What exactly is it that's bothering you? Is it a sore throat? Tummy ache? Let's see.
I've been having hot flashes insomnia and "osteorosis.
" That does sound serious.
I thought so too.
And it might even be contagious.
I probably shouldn't be around people for a while.
Well menopause isn't normally contagious honey.
But then again it's also rare for it to occur in 9-year-old girls.
There's a first time for everything.
Well I guess we'll have to get you to a hospital.
Take some blood tests run a few CAT scans.
Blood tests? Like with needles? - Oh yeah.
Big ones.
- Dad maybe I don't have menopause.
Oh really? Something else then? Maybe I just don't wanna do the play anymore.
Why sweetheart? Because what if I stink? Then all those people will boo at me.
If they boo at anybody it'll be the guy who can't remember his lines.
Trust me you're not gonna stink.
Well maybe I won't stink as bad as you but even still I could forget everything even how to sing.
Do you remember when Uncle Brian was here and I had to do brain surgery again and I hadn't done it in a long time? - I was scared.
- You were? I was terrified.
I thought I was gonna forget how to do everything.
I woke up that morning and I thought "There's no way.
I can't do this.
" - You seemed okay to me.
- Well that's what I wanted you to think.
But I was faking.
I pretended that I was okay when deep down I was really afraid.
Next thing I knew I was in the hospital room doing brain surgery.
And you know what? I got so good at pretending to be fine that I actually was.
It's called "fake it till you make it.
" - Like my song says.
- What song? - In the play.
- Oh yeah.
Fake it till you make it.
I can do that.
I know you can.
- Your mom would be so proud of you.
- Really? Really.
- Good night sweetheart.
- Good night Dad.
You really think I'm gonna stink? - Can I talk to you for a second? - I thought we already finished this.
Not exactly.
I lied to you Ephram.
I acted like the reason I was gonna be your friend was because of your dad but it's not.
It's something else.
All right.
Let's hear it.
I don't know you.
But more importantly is you don't know me.
You're the only person in this school who doesn't expect me to remember them or expect me to be this guy that I don't even know who he was.
And I'm trying to please all these people but it's wearing me out man.
I can understand that.
But it's different with you because you don't have any expectations.
And I don't have to feel guilty for not knowing you.
See in a way I mean you know we're both new.
And you look about as out of place as I feel which is probably why I approached you.
But what I don't get is why you don't like me.
Who said I didn't like you? Well it's obvious you don't like hanging around me.
Is there a reason? No.
No reason.
We're cool.
Cool.
So let's talk about this "E" thing.
Who came up with that? Probably Bright.
Right.
Hello everyone.
Okay then.
- You look nice today Baxworth.
- I do? Yeah.
Radiant.
- Thank you Edna.
- And Alice Sir yes sir.
You make a fine Tuptim.
I like what you've done with the part.
I should have told you that before.
I'm sorry if I haven't been very Nice? Encouraging.
Private! I don't think I have to tell you what great work you're doing.
You really had me convinced you're a boy on that stage and it freaks me out.
- Thanks Edna.
- And Dr.
Brown? - Yes? - You're fired.
- I'm what? - Executive decision.
Had to be made.
I'd appreciate it if you'd turn in your walking papers and exit without too much of a fuss.
But I was making so much progress.
How many children does Your Majesty have? Thirty-seven? - Junior! - Six! How do you feel about playing the King of Siam? - Who's offering? - I am.
Gee Mother I don't know.
Spielberg's heard of my work as the understudy.
- We're in talks.
- Come on Junior! The play needs you.
Well I suppose the show must go on.
Wouldn't want to let down Everwood's theater-going community.
All right people.
Swallow that last bite of crumb cake.
We've got a dress rehearsal to get on.
Delia was never in Romeo and Juliet.
She was not the girl in Sleepless in Seattle.
- She wasn't even born when it came out.
- lf you're gonna dream dream big.
Dr.
Brown? - Hey Colin.
How you feeling? - Pretty good.
Look I know my parents probably sent you enough gift baskets to last a lifetime but I guess I just wanted to come by and thank you myself.
You just keep doing what you're doing.
That's all the thanks I need.
Ephram do you wanna come sit with us? We saved a few extra seats.
No.
No thanks.
I'm just gonna chill here with my dad.
- Okay.
- Catch you later.
- You two friends now? - Kind of.
- Turns out we have some stuff in common.
- You mean Amy? - Surprisingly it has nothing to do with Amy.
- So why don't you sit with him? Because of Amy.
So who's this Evelyn Rauser? - Why do you ask? - Well I don't know.
- The play's dedicated to her.
Is she famous? - She's something of a legend around here.
- She the reason you got fired? - I did not get fired.
I chose to step down from the role.
Artistic differences.
Dad? It's nice to know you're not awesome at everything.
All right troops fall in! She means form a line morons.
I'll make this brief as we've got civilians out there waiting to be entertained.
You've all worked hard.
You've worked long.
You've struggled against formidable odds to get where you are tonight.
I'd be proud to lead you into battle anytime anyplace.
That's all.
Go get them soldiers.
And good luck.
I thought it was bad luck to say "good luck.
" It is but let's not tell her that.
Places everybody! Evelyn Rauser had an expression for the few seconds before the curtain went up.
She called it "the holy time.
" But you don't have to be an actor to know what the holy time feels like.
It's that breath you take just seconds before you become the person you're meant to become.
For some people, it feels like forever.
And for some, it's a moment over far too fast.