Kolchak: The Night Stalker (1974) s01e13 Episode Script
Primal Scream
During World War II, close to this very spot, science bore a child that changed the course of human relations and to this day threatens to end human history.
It was called, innocuously enough, the Manhattan Project.
And it grew into the terror we all have come to know as the hydrogen bomb.
But this year, only a stone's throw from here, science delivered a new child.
November 8, 12:20 a.
m.
Dr.
Jules Copenik, Ph.
D.
In experimental biology and codirector of related research at Oceanic International Oil Corporation returned to his place of employ after a month-long absence.
He had been attending a world ecology conference in Helsinki And came right to his lab after debarking a plane.
Dr.
Copenik was homesick for the lab and the equipment that was under his control.
And it was this fastidious devotion to his work that cut offhis life at age 43.
from a rather late supper when the call came over my police radio.
We got a call from the company's security department early this morning, about 5:45.
How's it going, Nils? Anything important? One of their men found the body at dawn.
Just giving a statement now.
We immediately cordoned off the whole facility- They don't want us photographing the body.
And found nobody.
Why not? Did you ask? Nobody who didn't belong.
Why don't you want us photographing the body? I prefer not to make a complete statement at this time.
I'd rather stick to the physical details of the crime, if you don't mind, Mr.
Kolchak.
Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure.
Absolutely.
It's perfectly okay with me.
You go right on ahead.
You go on ahead.
Uh, somebody told me that it was kind of a messy death, right? Ever see one that wasn't? Well, that's it, gentlemen.
Where's my print man? Where's his arm? Gone like both of yours are gonna be if you don't keep your hands off things.
Was his arm severed, Captain? Where is it? Severed? Listen, it was pulled out of its socket like an old turkey leg.
I don't understand it.
I'd like to get a shot of that if I could.
Hold it.
Hold it.
Dr.
Jules Copenik was murdered.
He was badly beaten.
We don't have any suspects as yet.
The coroner's report will be posted later sometime today.
Captain, where's the arm? We don't know.
You mean the killer took the arm with him? Why? - Who can answer that question? - How was access gained by the killers? How did they slip past the company's guard? No comment.
Well, how about motive? Any ideas? No comment, Mr.
Kolchak.
No ideas.
No ideas.
Phew! Phew! Come outta there, Kolchak.
What is this, a freezer? What does it look like? It looks like a freezer.
But it's so hot and damp and humid in here, you could steam littleneck clams.
Well, it's out of order.
Yeah, it stinks too.
It smells of mildew.
Phew! Maybe it's your undershirt.
Could be your jokes.
Out.
Ever try to deal with a giant corporation? They transfer your call here.
They transfer it there.
They put you on hold.
You're out in the cold.
Oceanic International Oil was all that and more.
They finally let me off the merry-go-round at the office of Thomas J.
Kitzmiller, vice president in charge of Public Relations.
Excuse me.
Yes.
Yes, well, tell him L'etoile will be fine for lunch.
Well, then tell his secretary.
No, Chinese food is fine if it's good food.
I, uh- Shall I meet him there then? He wants to pick me up? No, no, no, no, no, no.
You call him right back and tell him I will pick him up.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You were talking about Dr.
Copenik and what he was doing.
Ah, here is what O.
I.
O.
Is doing.
In the nation, in the ghetto- And around the world.
Exactly, around the world.
I don't have to tell you about Alaska.
Vast new discoveries.
Our startling success there has encouraged us to press on even further north, even north of Prince Patrick Island.
Really? You mean, you're drilling that far north up there? Gets so frozen, so stiff up there that even the penguins wear thermal underwear.
Well, regardless, O.
I.
O.
Has mounted and sent a very, very big and most expensive expedition up there for test drilling.
Uh-huh, yeah.
Thank you.
At great corporate expense.
Uh, well, did you find any oil? Well, that's- that's not the point, Mr.
Kolchak.
We don't just drill for oil on a hit or a miss basis.
See, we bring back what we call cores.
Cores.
And, uh, we show them to our scientists, our geologists, and they analyze them for traces.
Now, if the traces are encouraging, then we drill for oil.
Uh-huh, and that's what Dr.
Copenik was doing, testing cores.
Exactly.
He was working with samples of material taken from cores frozen for perhaps thousands, maybe millions of years.
Millions.
Now, I don't consider that to be a dangerous or violence-prone occupation, do you? Well, that depends on what he was testing for.
Wouldn't you agree? Yeah, and then again, of course, you know, you work for an oil company.
And a lot of people have had it up to here with high prices and bad air and seagulls just overloaded with gunk.
Well, I-Well, there are always a few misguided and sick individuals who like to take out their personal frustrations against essentially blameless but, nonetheless, vulnerable institutions.
Thankfully, O.
I.
O.
Is not a very likely target.
I mean, our contribution to the community welfare is well-known.
Mm-hmm.
However, Dr.
Copenik, he's an even less likely target.
I mean, he was merely a, well, a hard-working researcher in charge of his own section.
Which was what exactly? Biology.
Biology.
Not one of our largest.
I mean, its application to oil wasn't as direct nor as- nor as great as the geological sciences.
But that was one of the main reasons for having such a section.
You see, to give people likeJules Copenik the environment and the funding to do whatever they wanted to do, whatever it was.
I see.
And, uh, of course, you never turned a penny profit on it.
Well, I-I didn't say that.
Uh-huh.
Naturally, if our biologists were to turn up something that could profit O.
I.
O.
, yes, we would accept that, but it wasn't absolutely necessary.
Oh, well, that makes me feel good.
You know, real warm down inside.
Tell me, how was everything in the biology section? I mean, I guess everybody there was feeling pretty good, happy, very content.
A sense of well-being.
Happy as clams.
Hmm? As far as I know there are no serious disagreements.
But you see, that entire section, uh, consists only of Dr.
Copenik and, uh, his assistant Helen Lynch.
Helen Lynch.
Where could I- Where could I find Helen Lynch? Helen Lynch was in an automobile accident several weeks ago.
And she's in a hospital in Springfield, trying very hard to recuperate.
And I suggest that we let her do just that.
Excuse me.
Yes.
Hello.
Yes.
Oh, yes, yes.
Uh, Friday about 1:00? All right.
I'll make a note of that.
Fine.
Will, uh, lunch be involved? Okay.
Oh, I'm sure I can.
Fine.
Hey, Tony, what's new? That's why I've got reporters, to tell me what's new.
Yeah, well, I'm on this Copenik thing, Tony, and something is very, very odd.
That Copenik thing, is that the case you started covering at 7:00 a.
m.
This morning? - Yeah.
- "Jules Copenik, age 43.
" Yeah, that's right, Tony.
I just picked up the coroner's report, see? Yeah, "Death caused by massive hemorrhaging uh, due in part to cranial and torso blows induced by a"- - "Probably a blunt instrument.
" - Yeah, that's right, Tony.
Yeah, yeah, right, right.
"However, severest hemorrhaging resulting from"- "A severed right arm, no doubt.
" Yeah, that's right.
"Also noted were superficial gouges of the type that might be made by a"- "A garden hand weeder.
" It'll happen every time.
Yeah, that's right.
How'd you know? Voila, la story, Carl.
It's old cabbage.
It's already been chewed up by all the other news services.
Well, Tony, let them have the cabbage.
We here at I.
N.
S.
Will feast on journalistic filet mignon.
Where's Ron? Out to lunch.
Yeah, well, that goes without saying.
What else is new? Listen, I'm very serious.
There's something very strange going on at O.
I.
O.
Now, I don't think anyone came in therejust to kill Copenik.
And there was nothing, but nothing, stolen.
Except a severed arm.
Yeah, well- Hi, Ron.
Well, where did you have your lunch? Saskatoon, Canada? I spent half an hour driving around the block, trying to find a parking space.
Oh, yeah, I'm sorry about that, Ron.
Did you take care of those phone calls I asked you to make? Our agreement on the phone was that I would make the calls if you would promise not to park in my space.
That's right.
Already you've broken it.
It's incredible.
Well, I'm sorry about that, Ron.
I really am.
It's a very bad habit of mine.
And I will try my doggonedest to break it.
Please do, or next time I will call a tow truck.
You wouldn't do that.
Yes, I would.
You mean, you'd call a tow truck and have my car hauled away? I mean it.
Mt.
Olivet Hospital.
You mean it.
- Now where're you going, Carl? - Springfield.
To cover some hot news, like the Lincoln-Douglas debate? Terrific.
I'm sorry, Mr.
Kolchak.
You cannot see Helen Lynch.
What, is she unconscious? No, she is not.
But then she's not up to answering questions about this murder either.
You know, I bet the people at O.
I.
O.
Are just very concerned that she not be upset by members of the press, am I right? Yes, you are.
Is there anything wrong in that? Certainly not, Of course not.
Why, their hearts are as big as their profits this year.
What-What was it up to, That is no concern of mine.
My only concern is with my patient.
Yes.
You cannot see her, and that's final.
Absolutely.
Whatever you say, Doc.
Whatever you say.
What room are you- Hello? Uh, what room are you going to? Uh, 415.
Could I help you? Oh, thank you so much.
You're welcome.
Right down this way.
Thank you.
It's right over here.
Dr.
Lynch? Uh, Carl Kolchak.
Independent News Service.
See? Please, Mr.
- Kolchak.
I've already told the police everything that I know.
Yeah, but the trouble is, you see, the police don't tell anybody else what they know, and then people begin to form their own ideas.
I've had a call from our Public Relations Department, and I have been- Mr.
Kitzmiller, and he told you not to talk to reporters, right? That's right.
That's right.
See what I mean? Now, who wouldn't begin to form ideas with all this secrecy around? Did he tell you why you shouldn't talk to reporters? Just that it would be best.
Now, you're a scientist.
Now, does that seem very much like an empirical reason to you? Hmm? There is nothing to tell.
I mean, there really is nothing to tell.
Jules was just a very nice man.
A very nice man.
He had a sense of humor, and he hated uproar and controversy.
Now he's been murdered.
That's all there is to it.
Well, what about these cores from the Arctic? I mean, is there any reason anybody would want to stop work on them or ruin the experiment? The scientific community is hardly the court of the Borgias, Mr.
Kolchak.
Well- Our discoveries were important from a biochemical point of view.
They were remarkable.
But no reason for anyone to wield a hatchet.
What was in those cores? Cells.
Frozen cells.
You mean, it's remarkable that you'd find frozen cells in the Arctic? No, but they were millions of years old.
And when we thawed them, they started to exhibit biological function.
Biological function.
You mean, they - they came to life? You could say that.
What did they do after they came to life? What cells do- they reproduced.
Not exactly what you'd call high adventure, but very interesting.
Very.
How did they- Well- Berwick, would you and John come in here for a moment, please? I told this man not to come in this room.
And here he is.
Hi, fellas.
in my city, Chicago, photographer Robert Gurney, 24, came home from work and wanted some entertainment.
Gurney felt that what the media gave him was too unrealistic to be entertaining.
He often said that even he could do better.
He did.
As Vincenzo heatedly pointed out, the Springfieldjunket had caused me to miss the second brutal beating to occur in two days.
Tony had been forced to send in someone from the bush leagues.
Okay, Ron, hit the showers.
The first string's here.
It's all over.
The police shot the killer, took him away in an ambulance just before you got here.
Dead, huh? Well, you might say he'd done his last dance around the flagpole.
Well, you might say that, but I wouldn't.
Okay, Officer, can you give me the names? You trying to be cute? No.
Do I look cute? Just give me the names and what instrument they used to commit the beating with.
Beating? Look, Jack, I saw it.
The poor victim had his leg almost torn off.
His leg torn off? What was his name? Robert Gurney, 24.
Did he work for O.
I.
O? No, he worked for Macy's Wedding Portraits.
He was a photographer.
What about the killer? Did he work for O.
I.
O? Friend, the killer was a gorilla.
A g- That's right.
I don't know that much about wildlife, but that's what it was, a gorilla.
Or some kind of big ape.
A- A gorilla? Good-bye, Carl.
Don't take any wooden bananas.
That was bad, Ron.
That was very bad.
I told you, Mort.
"Put in synthetics," I said.
"Oh, no, '" says Mr.
Conrad Hilton.
"I'm renting quality rooms.
" Carl Kolchak, I.
N.
S.
Oh.
Oh, well, uh, we live right down the hall from, uh, poor Mr.
Gurney.
And, uh, but for the grace of God, it could have been me whose window that thing broke into, me who could have been killed.
Well, did either of you see the gorilla? The gorilla? Oh, well, Mort was taking his sitz bath.
Sitz bath.
And I heard this terrible ruckus.
Then I called the police.
When they got here, they went to Mr.
Gurney's room.
And I heard a scream and I heard a shoot.
And, oh, I was just terrified.
I only saw it for maybe half a second.
Uh, the gorilla? Yeah.
Well, uh, I don't- I don't know.
Maybe, but - Well, what do you mean "Maybe, but"? Well, I've seen gorillas on the Marlin Perkins show.
This was like that, but it was kind of like a man.
You know, uh, from the side.
Oh, it was awful.
Was it a man or was it a gorilla? The police say it was a gorilla.
If the police say it was a gorilla, then it was a gorilla.
They shot it.
They should know.
They are the police.
Yeah.
I've already told you, Mr.
Kolchak.
You cannot see Mr.
Kitzmiller without an appointment.
Well, I called to make an appointment.
You put me on hold.
By the time you came back on to tell me to call back, my hair had grown down over the receiver.
Well, Mr.
Kitzmiller was at a luncheon appointment.
So, what else is new? Someday there'll be a waiters' strike, and all the large corporations in America will just topple.
Now, I can give you an appointment on the 23rd, if that's all right, at 10:00.
Really? Yes.
The 23rd? Yes.
Uh-huh.
No.
No, I think I'll wait.
No more stalling around.
- He's in a meeting.
- Yeah, sure, I'll bet.
Do you want an appointment on the 23rd or not? No, I think I'd better go to this meeting.
Act as sort of a consultant.
Mr.
Kitz- Mm.
Mr.
Kitzmiller is in the men's room, right? The meeting is in a restaurant.
Sure.
Thank you.
Good afternoon.
Mr.
Kitzmiller's office.
Oh, Dr.
Arscott.
Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that.
We did send someone out to the airport to meet you.
Uh, could you hold on one moment, please? Good afternoon.
Mr.
Kitzmiller's office.
Well, he's not here at the moment now, Bernice.
Oh.
When did this happen? Uh-huh.
Well, he's with your boss now.
You can reach him there.
Yes, thank you.
Bye.
Dr.
Arscott, I'm sorry.
It's really quite difficult for me to talk now.
I'll have Mr.
Kitzmiller call you.
Thank you.
So, who's Dr.
Arscott, huh? Some bigwig, supposed to come into our city and save our fair town? Whew! I'm very sorry, I don't know what you're talking about.
And I don't know where you get the idea that Mr.
Kitzmiller has something to hide.
It is simply that he is very busy.
Y- Yeah.
He is a vice president you realize.
Yes, well, that's what bothers me.
You see, some of our biggest headaches have come from vice presidents.
Fine.
I guess you'd better get the glazer down here and fix this window again.
Got another one broken, huh? Listen, what in the name of all that is good and holy is going on around here? Nothing.
It's just a little disturbance at the scene of a previous killing, that's all.
Oh, yeah, sure.
Do I have your permission to go on with the investigation? Certainly, Captain, certainly.
Come on, what's going on here? And when do I get a look at that dead ape-man? What ape-man? What ape-man? Well, you're a homicide captain, right? Now, if it's really an ape, why are you investigating it? Why are you on the case? Well, I've got the experience.
Huh? I've had a lot of dealings with baboons.
Uh-huh.
What baboon? November 10, 10:25 p.
m.
, on Grinell Avenue, near what used to be the old Chicago Stadium, truck driver William Pratt was angry enough to burn his brake lining.
He had seniority, and he wasn't supposed to work the night shift.
But his boss had thrown seniority out the window.
Pratt's head was filled with thoughts of revenge.
But William Pratt had bigger problems to worry about than his domineering boss.
Whew! Hey, look out! Didn't you use the powerful stuff? I told you it was big.
What do you have in those darts, antihistamine? Just to make him drowsy? Now wait a minute.
We don't work for you.
We don't have to listen to this.
You said you wanted him alive.
Most of all I wanted him.
Look, you never know how an animal's gonna react to a tranquilizer.
You give him too big a dose, and he goes into shock and dies on you.
You heard him in that truck.
He was blood crazy.
Metabolism racing.
Did he call the animal by name? I mean, did he mention what kind of animal it was? No.
You know those guys, they just squawk into a radio, and then complain afterwards when everything doesn't turn out all right.
You know we fired six tranquilizer darts into that thing? No kidding.
That's a pretty big dose.
Didn't even faze it.
Yeah.
No kidding.
What kind of animal do you think it is? I don't know.
It was too dark.
I don't know who you are, but I think you're a little crazy, shooting off a flashbulb in that thing's face like that.
You could have been mangled.
Yeah, but I wasn't, was- You broke my camera.
You ruined my film.
I had pictures of that thing.
It was just an accident.
Accident? What kind of an accident is that? You threw my camera down on the ground.
You danced the Funky Chicken all over it.
Listen, you owe me.
You owe me.
L - I wanna see a picture of that ape.
I wanna see that ape that you shot over in Gurney's apartment.
I wanna a picture of it.
I wanna look at it.
Now you owe me.
You're right, I owe you.
The department will replace the camera that was broken accidentally.
Just put in your voucher.
Oh, terrific.
That's- Listen, you're treading on very dangerous ground, Captain.
Very dangerous ground.
Now you saw that thing and I saw it.
And that was not just any ape.
I mean, that wasn't just J.
Fred Muggs out there, dressed in a tutu, and drooling for the public and playing on a unicycle.
That was some creature.
Copenik- Copenik has been working on some strange new strain of cell they discovered up in the Arctic.
Is that right? Yeah, that's right.
And those cells are beginning to grow.
They're millions of years old, and they were developing them, and they started to grow.
Now, isn't that strange? Well, I'm not a biologist.
I don't know anything about cells.
I don't even know what your problem is.
Well, my problem is the same as your problem is, Captain.
Where is that creature coming from? Kolchak.
Yeah? Put in your voucher and shut up.
Oh, that's the way you wanna play, huh? That's the way you wanna play.
Okay.
Okay, it's war.
I just put the voucher on your desk.
Against the wall, huh? Well, why? Just play a little poke and pat.
What poke and pat? What are you doing? Huh? What? What? Well, thank you very much.
I'll expect payment immediately.
And thank you for the humiliation you've just put me through.
$125.
It was startling.
The cells were frozen.
Dead to all appearances.
But when we thawed them, they not only exhibited life, they reproduced.
Reproduced? That's right.
Now they stayed unicellular.
But each cell was multinucleate.
Look, let's not drag me back into Biology 101.
What you're talking about is germs.
Now, what does all this have to do with these ape-men? We flew all the way out here to find that out, Mr.
Kitzmiller.
Hopefully we will if you can contain yourself.
We were gonna publish, of course.
We were using the cells just a few at a time, subjecting them to a wide variety of tests.
And we finished up the first phase in time forJules to go to the conference in Helsinki.
Then we closed up shop for a while.
Then, two days later, bingo.
I'm in the hospital.
You left the cells that hadn't been used in the freezing compartment.
Yes, in vacuum lockers.
- What's the matter? - Well, the freezing system broke down about three weeks ago.
I think maybe I missed the point, if the point is that these germs grew into whatever it was that killed Jules Copenik.
They are not germs.
They are single-cell life-forms.
And I'm not about to attest to what you just said without further study.
That's too bad.
Look, folks, let me tell you something, okay? I am a very, very good P.
R.
Man.
If the price of gas shoots up to five dollars a gallon, I can deal with that.
If San Francisco Bay becomes one big tar pit because of our oil spills, I can deal with that.
But, I mean, this- What can I say about this? Scientifically, there's really no precedent for it.
There's no precedent for anything that's happened.
So don't tell me there's no precedent.
Tell me something useful.
I'll make all the phone calls that have to be made.
Mr.
Donadio? We'll go back to the labs and dig into this, please? Are you all right? I'm taking you and putting you in a private institution, away from reporters.
Away from everybody.
Not a word.
Not a word about this, all right? You're incredible.
Isn't the story in yet? Relax, Tony, will you? Just relax.
New York's reading the first paragraph right now.
Oh, I still can't believe it.
"Primitive man in our own time.
" You know, there are times I gotta admit it, Carl.
You are quite a reporter.
What's the matter? You sick or something? You never compliment me.
Carl, think of the headlines of the past.
The big headlines.
Now, now, listen, maybe they'll want a film crew out there.
What? Maybe you'll need a makeup man out there, Carl.
Have you addled your brains completely? We're not at a television station here.
You can be a special guest on a television show.
Not me.
No chance.
Wait, it's coming in.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
"Cancel story"! Oh, I don't believe that.
What, are they crazy? "Cancel story.
Legal department will contact you.
" It's a mistake.
It's a mistake.
Listen, what's going on here? I mean, was I.
N.
S.
Being undermined by the oil company too? I can't say, Carl.
I've been trying to contact them.
The lines have been tied up.
Yeah, sure, I'll bet they have.
Carl, excuse me.
About that ape-man line you got going.
Yeah? Something just happened that I think may blow the whole thing.
It's incredible.
Well, what? What? A friend of mine at the Herald called.
Yeah? Two days ago, there was a truck accident.
A van carrying illegal jungle animals went off the road.
The driver just came forward and confessed.
Confessed to what? It seems some dangerous animals did escape, including two large apes, a pair of adult African gibbons, as well as a Malayan tiger, a civet cat and a pie-cost.
What's a pie-cost? Abbott and Costello, 1946.
I really had you going there.
Yeah.
Now listen, Carl, I'm gonna call New York.
Now never mind them and never mind Harry High School here.
Just keep on the story and get what you can get, will ya? That's terrible.
Maybe you'll like my second joke better.
Your car is parked in my place again.
I called the tow truck.
They'll be here any minute.
You know what? I thought that you'd do that.
I just had a feeling after you told me the other day.
Well, so five minutes ago, I asked our janitor here, Georgy, to take the keys out of your pocket there, and go down and move your car back into your space.
Look.
Keep on truckin', Ron.
Well, this is an emergency.
Break through on 'em.
Come on.
Get through to New York.
Well, I'm trying to.
No! Wait! No, no, no! Yeah.
November 11, 9:30 p.
m.
Rosetta Mason, 22, had been attending a party, but she'd been bored.
Rosetta didn't know it, but for her, the party was really over.
The murder of Rosetta Mason gave the police no new leads.
But it gave me a photograph of a footprint, like no footprint I'd ever seen before.
I placed calls to anthropologists and biologists at the major universities, but again I was put on hold.
I recognized this as the Oceanic International Oil trademark.
I also recognized that universities are supported by the charity oflarge corporations.
But the public school system is still the public school system.
Already? Uh, Mr.
Burton? Carl Kolchak, I.
N.
S.
Oh, I thought lunch period was over for a minute there.
Of course, I should have known better.
There would have been more noise, cursing, things flying through the air ahead of them.
Oh, you're referring to your students? To use the term very loosely.
Mmm.
Can you believe it's only November? - Mr.
Burton, I'd like to ask you a few questions.
- No.
- But you haven't even heard- - No, I'm sorry, not now.
This is the only time I get to read my travel brochures.
I have to figure exactly where I'm going on June 8.
After school, it's the science club.
Nights and weekends, I spend my time going blind trying to decipher their chicken "scrawlings" on their papers and tests.
But this is very important, Mr.
Burton.
Have you heard anything about the rash of killings that have been blamed on large apes? That? Oh, yes, yes, I've heard all right.
Several of my friends have been called in to consult.
They're Ph.
D.
S, and they're so full of self-importance now.
Of course, no one asks a lowly high school pedagogue.
Who asked your friends? The oil company? The police? Who? Oh, they won't say.
It's very hush-hush and cliquey all of the sudden.
Huh.
Uh-huh.
- Mr.
Burton? - Yes.
- Sir.
- Yes.
I am now consulting you.
Here, this is a footprint left by the so-called ape.
Good Lord! It's larger than any primate I've ever seen.
And so-called ape is right.
This does not have prehensile toes like true apes.
Hmm, well, I saw the thing.
It was somewhat human in appearance, uh, form.
Yes, but this arch and heel construction aren't strictly human either.
Well, then it is an ape-man.
That is a misnomer.
It shows a lot of ignorance about evolution.
Well, I'm sorry.
No offense.
People keep saying that man descended from apes.
Forget you ever heard that.
Okay, it's forgotten.
You see, man and apes descended from the same common ancestor.
Yeah? They just went in two different ways.
They're from two different branches of the same tree, not one continuous branch.
Oh.
Hold this.
Follow me, please.
Now, I'll hold this.
Oh.
It's expensive.
You see the teeth? Uh-huh.
All right.
Now this ape's dentition is more suited to eating fruits, vegetables - they're vegetarians.
But, you see, man and all its ancestors are meat eaters.
We have this ripping, tearing teeth.
Yeah, well, these creatures have been eating flesh.
One of them broke into a meat truck.
I love my field.
You know, I've collected all these bones from all over.
I try to teach the kids something but - you know what they call me behind my back? No.
Bones Burton.
No.
Yes.
Well, Bo- Mr.
Burton.
Yes.
Uh, we are saying then that this footprint belongs to a prehistoric man? Come with me.
All right, this is Homo erectus.
Uh-huh.
And his colleague here is Australopithecus.
Ah! You see, early man, both of them.
Neither had 16 double "E" feet.
Geez, I know that one.
I work for him.
No, well, this creature probably came from the Arctic.
If he came from the Arctic, why, he could be anything.
I mean, we know nothing about what happened up there except that it froze.
Yeah.
Well, look here.
See, I took these photos? See, there you go.
Now, this one here was taken on the 8th and this one on the 1 Oth.
Now you see those vacuum containers? Upended.
One upended in this picture, but a second one in this one.
Yeah.
And? Well, now, they contained some sort of cells from the Arctic.
Now is it possible that accidental heat and damp, they could- Gestate into the owner of the footprint? Yeah.
I doubt that could happen.
But a team of scientists recently grew wheat from seeds that were found in the pyramids of Egypt.
Those seeds were 4,000 years old.
Four thousand years old? Well, listen, if there were some new kind of- of different strain of primate man, where would he be? Well, if he's a voracious carnivore as you say he is, then he would probably also be a nocturnal hunter.
Ah, yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah, he's only been sighted at night as far as I know.
Yes, and if he's some deviate cousin of early man, then he would tend toward the caves.
Caves? In Chicago? Terrific.
What's that? Yeah.
You really wanna learn about ape-men, Mr.
Kolchak? Uh-huh.
Stick around.
No, thank you.
Entering O.
I.
O.
Labs at night presented difficulties.
Especially since the guard force in the lobby had been doubled.
I attacked the problem with my brains and my fingernails.
I was getting first-rate copy, but the story was not complete.
An embryo had not attacked people on the streets of Chicago.
A full-grown savage throwback had done so.
Something not unlike each of us, and yet vastly different.
I had to have a picture of it.
There are no caves in Chicago.
But the creature has struck in a rough mile or so radius of O.
I.
O.
Labs.
And in that radius used to stand Chicago Stadium.
It was in the tunnels under the stadium that they did the first atomic testing in those long, dark tunnels.
The stadium is gone now.
They've erected tennis courts and playgrounds.
And nearby, the Enrico Fermi Institute.
But the tunnels are still there.
Sealed, but there.
No, wait.
It's all right.
It's all right.
No, no, no, it's hot.
Hot.
See? Aah! Aah! No good.
It's all right.
Just relax.
Friend.
Wait! No! No.
No! The police and the high-priced scientific help put it together just as I did.
With the proper dosage of tranquilizer, the creature became manageable.
It's a great word, isn't it? Manageable.
They took it, or should I say him, a few moments ago.
He's gonna be tested, studied, probed, I imagine.
Captain Molnar took my camera again, saying that I was unmanageable.
But I wanna sue to get it back, and I promised myself that.
And if I do, if I do get it back, and if Vincenzo will publish the story, and you see the pictures- they may not be too good.
They may be blurry.
They may be titillating and not convincing.
You might not really want to believe them.
But you go ahead.
You believe them.
And ask yourself, "What happened to him, to it? "Will he thrive in our hands? "Is he that much like us? Will they be able to make him manageable?"
It was called, innocuously enough, the Manhattan Project.
And it grew into the terror we all have come to know as the hydrogen bomb.
But this year, only a stone's throw from here, science delivered a new child.
November 8, 12:20 a.
m.
Dr.
Jules Copenik, Ph.
D.
In experimental biology and codirector of related research at Oceanic International Oil Corporation returned to his place of employ after a month-long absence.
He had been attending a world ecology conference in Helsinki And came right to his lab after debarking a plane.
Dr.
Copenik was homesick for the lab and the equipment that was under his control.
And it was this fastidious devotion to his work that cut offhis life at age 43.
from a rather late supper when the call came over my police radio.
We got a call from the company's security department early this morning, about 5:45.
How's it going, Nils? Anything important? One of their men found the body at dawn.
Just giving a statement now.
We immediately cordoned off the whole facility- They don't want us photographing the body.
And found nobody.
Why not? Did you ask? Nobody who didn't belong.
Why don't you want us photographing the body? I prefer not to make a complete statement at this time.
I'd rather stick to the physical details of the crime, if you don't mind, Mr.
Kolchak.
Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure.
Absolutely.
It's perfectly okay with me.
You go right on ahead.
You go on ahead.
Uh, somebody told me that it was kind of a messy death, right? Ever see one that wasn't? Well, that's it, gentlemen.
Where's my print man? Where's his arm? Gone like both of yours are gonna be if you don't keep your hands off things.
Was his arm severed, Captain? Where is it? Severed? Listen, it was pulled out of its socket like an old turkey leg.
I don't understand it.
I'd like to get a shot of that if I could.
Hold it.
Hold it.
Dr.
Jules Copenik was murdered.
He was badly beaten.
We don't have any suspects as yet.
The coroner's report will be posted later sometime today.
Captain, where's the arm? We don't know.
You mean the killer took the arm with him? Why? - Who can answer that question? - How was access gained by the killers? How did they slip past the company's guard? No comment.
Well, how about motive? Any ideas? No comment, Mr.
Kolchak.
No ideas.
No ideas.
Phew! Phew! Come outta there, Kolchak.
What is this, a freezer? What does it look like? It looks like a freezer.
But it's so hot and damp and humid in here, you could steam littleneck clams.
Well, it's out of order.
Yeah, it stinks too.
It smells of mildew.
Phew! Maybe it's your undershirt.
Could be your jokes.
Out.
Ever try to deal with a giant corporation? They transfer your call here.
They transfer it there.
They put you on hold.
You're out in the cold.
Oceanic International Oil was all that and more.
They finally let me off the merry-go-round at the office of Thomas J.
Kitzmiller, vice president in charge of Public Relations.
Excuse me.
Yes.
Yes, well, tell him L'etoile will be fine for lunch.
Well, then tell his secretary.
No, Chinese food is fine if it's good food.
I, uh- Shall I meet him there then? He wants to pick me up? No, no, no, no, no, no.
You call him right back and tell him I will pick him up.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You were talking about Dr.
Copenik and what he was doing.
Ah, here is what O.
I.
O.
Is doing.
In the nation, in the ghetto- And around the world.
Exactly, around the world.
I don't have to tell you about Alaska.
Vast new discoveries.
Our startling success there has encouraged us to press on even further north, even north of Prince Patrick Island.
Really? You mean, you're drilling that far north up there? Gets so frozen, so stiff up there that even the penguins wear thermal underwear.
Well, regardless, O.
I.
O.
Has mounted and sent a very, very big and most expensive expedition up there for test drilling.
Uh-huh, yeah.
Thank you.
At great corporate expense.
Uh, well, did you find any oil? Well, that's- that's not the point, Mr.
Kolchak.
We don't just drill for oil on a hit or a miss basis.
See, we bring back what we call cores.
Cores.
And, uh, we show them to our scientists, our geologists, and they analyze them for traces.
Now, if the traces are encouraging, then we drill for oil.
Uh-huh, and that's what Dr.
Copenik was doing, testing cores.
Exactly.
He was working with samples of material taken from cores frozen for perhaps thousands, maybe millions of years.
Millions.
Now, I don't consider that to be a dangerous or violence-prone occupation, do you? Well, that depends on what he was testing for.
Wouldn't you agree? Yeah, and then again, of course, you know, you work for an oil company.
And a lot of people have had it up to here with high prices and bad air and seagulls just overloaded with gunk.
Well, I-Well, there are always a few misguided and sick individuals who like to take out their personal frustrations against essentially blameless but, nonetheless, vulnerable institutions.
Thankfully, O.
I.
O.
Is not a very likely target.
I mean, our contribution to the community welfare is well-known.
Mm-hmm.
However, Dr.
Copenik, he's an even less likely target.
I mean, he was merely a, well, a hard-working researcher in charge of his own section.
Which was what exactly? Biology.
Biology.
Not one of our largest.
I mean, its application to oil wasn't as direct nor as- nor as great as the geological sciences.
But that was one of the main reasons for having such a section.
You see, to give people likeJules Copenik the environment and the funding to do whatever they wanted to do, whatever it was.
I see.
And, uh, of course, you never turned a penny profit on it.
Well, I-I didn't say that.
Uh-huh.
Naturally, if our biologists were to turn up something that could profit O.
I.
O.
, yes, we would accept that, but it wasn't absolutely necessary.
Oh, well, that makes me feel good.
You know, real warm down inside.
Tell me, how was everything in the biology section? I mean, I guess everybody there was feeling pretty good, happy, very content.
A sense of well-being.
Happy as clams.
Hmm? As far as I know there are no serious disagreements.
But you see, that entire section, uh, consists only of Dr.
Copenik and, uh, his assistant Helen Lynch.
Helen Lynch.
Where could I- Where could I find Helen Lynch? Helen Lynch was in an automobile accident several weeks ago.
And she's in a hospital in Springfield, trying very hard to recuperate.
And I suggest that we let her do just that.
Excuse me.
Yes.
Hello.
Yes.
Oh, yes, yes.
Uh, Friday about 1:00? All right.
I'll make a note of that.
Fine.
Will, uh, lunch be involved? Okay.
Oh, I'm sure I can.
Fine.
Hey, Tony, what's new? That's why I've got reporters, to tell me what's new.
Yeah, well, I'm on this Copenik thing, Tony, and something is very, very odd.
That Copenik thing, is that the case you started covering at 7:00 a.
m.
This morning? - Yeah.
- "Jules Copenik, age 43.
" Yeah, that's right, Tony.
I just picked up the coroner's report, see? Yeah, "Death caused by massive hemorrhaging uh, due in part to cranial and torso blows induced by a"- - "Probably a blunt instrument.
" - Yeah, that's right, Tony.
Yeah, yeah, right, right.
"However, severest hemorrhaging resulting from"- "A severed right arm, no doubt.
" Yeah, that's right.
"Also noted were superficial gouges of the type that might be made by a"- "A garden hand weeder.
" It'll happen every time.
Yeah, that's right.
How'd you know? Voila, la story, Carl.
It's old cabbage.
It's already been chewed up by all the other news services.
Well, Tony, let them have the cabbage.
We here at I.
N.
S.
Will feast on journalistic filet mignon.
Where's Ron? Out to lunch.
Yeah, well, that goes without saying.
What else is new? Listen, I'm very serious.
There's something very strange going on at O.
I.
O.
Now, I don't think anyone came in therejust to kill Copenik.
And there was nothing, but nothing, stolen.
Except a severed arm.
Yeah, well- Hi, Ron.
Well, where did you have your lunch? Saskatoon, Canada? I spent half an hour driving around the block, trying to find a parking space.
Oh, yeah, I'm sorry about that, Ron.
Did you take care of those phone calls I asked you to make? Our agreement on the phone was that I would make the calls if you would promise not to park in my space.
That's right.
Already you've broken it.
It's incredible.
Well, I'm sorry about that, Ron.
I really am.
It's a very bad habit of mine.
And I will try my doggonedest to break it.
Please do, or next time I will call a tow truck.
You wouldn't do that.
Yes, I would.
You mean, you'd call a tow truck and have my car hauled away? I mean it.
Mt.
Olivet Hospital.
You mean it.
- Now where're you going, Carl? - Springfield.
To cover some hot news, like the Lincoln-Douglas debate? Terrific.
I'm sorry, Mr.
Kolchak.
You cannot see Helen Lynch.
What, is she unconscious? No, she is not.
But then she's not up to answering questions about this murder either.
You know, I bet the people at O.
I.
O.
Are just very concerned that she not be upset by members of the press, am I right? Yes, you are.
Is there anything wrong in that? Certainly not, Of course not.
Why, their hearts are as big as their profits this year.
What-What was it up to, That is no concern of mine.
My only concern is with my patient.
Yes.
You cannot see her, and that's final.
Absolutely.
Whatever you say, Doc.
Whatever you say.
What room are you- Hello? Uh, what room are you going to? Uh, 415.
Could I help you? Oh, thank you so much.
You're welcome.
Right down this way.
Thank you.
It's right over here.
Dr.
Lynch? Uh, Carl Kolchak.
Independent News Service.
See? Please, Mr.
- Kolchak.
I've already told the police everything that I know.
Yeah, but the trouble is, you see, the police don't tell anybody else what they know, and then people begin to form their own ideas.
I've had a call from our Public Relations Department, and I have been- Mr.
Kitzmiller, and he told you not to talk to reporters, right? That's right.
That's right.
See what I mean? Now, who wouldn't begin to form ideas with all this secrecy around? Did he tell you why you shouldn't talk to reporters? Just that it would be best.
Now, you're a scientist.
Now, does that seem very much like an empirical reason to you? Hmm? There is nothing to tell.
I mean, there really is nothing to tell.
Jules was just a very nice man.
A very nice man.
He had a sense of humor, and he hated uproar and controversy.
Now he's been murdered.
That's all there is to it.
Well, what about these cores from the Arctic? I mean, is there any reason anybody would want to stop work on them or ruin the experiment? The scientific community is hardly the court of the Borgias, Mr.
Kolchak.
Well- Our discoveries were important from a biochemical point of view.
They were remarkable.
But no reason for anyone to wield a hatchet.
What was in those cores? Cells.
Frozen cells.
You mean, it's remarkable that you'd find frozen cells in the Arctic? No, but they were millions of years old.
And when we thawed them, they started to exhibit biological function.
Biological function.
You mean, they - they came to life? You could say that.
What did they do after they came to life? What cells do- they reproduced.
Not exactly what you'd call high adventure, but very interesting.
Very.
How did they- Well- Berwick, would you and John come in here for a moment, please? I told this man not to come in this room.
And here he is.
Hi, fellas.
in my city, Chicago, photographer Robert Gurney, 24, came home from work and wanted some entertainment.
Gurney felt that what the media gave him was too unrealistic to be entertaining.
He often said that even he could do better.
He did.
As Vincenzo heatedly pointed out, the Springfieldjunket had caused me to miss the second brutal beating to occur in two days.
Tony had been forced to send in someone from the bush leagues.
Okay, Ron, hit the showers.
The first string's here.
It's all over.
The police shot the killer, took him away in an ambulance just before you got here.
Dead, huh? Well, you might say he'd done his last dance around the flagpole.
Well, you might say that, but I wouldn't.
Okay, Officer, can you give me the names? You trying to be cute? No.
Do I look cute? Just give me the names and what instrument they used to commit the beating with.
Beating? Look, Jack, I saw it.
The poor victim had his leg almost torn off.
His leg torn off? What was his name? Robert Gurney, 24.
Did he work for O.
I.
O? No, he worked for Macy's Wedding Portraits.
He was a photographer.
What about the killer? Did he work for O.
I.
O? Friend, the killer was a gorilla.
A g- That's right.
I don't know that much about wildlife, but that's what it was, a gorilla.
Or some kind of big ape.
A- A gorilla? Good-bye, Carl.
Don't take any wooden bananas.
That was bad, Ron.
That was very bad.
I told you, Mort.
"Put in synthetics," I said.
"Oh, no, '" says Mr.
Conrad Hilton.
"I'm renting quality rooms.
" Carl Kolchak, I.
N.
S.
Oh.
Oh, well, uh, we live right down the hall from, uh, poor Mr.
Gurney.
And, uh, but for the grace of God, it could have been me whose window that thing broke into, me who could have been killed.
Well, did either of you see the gorilla? The gorilla? Oh, well, Mort was taking his sitz bath.
Sitz bath.
And I heard this terrible ruckus.
Then I called the police.
When they got here, they went to Mr.
Gurney's room.
And I heard a scream and I heard a shoot.
And, oh, I was just terrified.
I only saw it for maybe half a second.
Uh, the gorilla? Yeah.
Well, uh, I don't- I don't know.
Maybe, but - Well, what do you mean "Maybe, but"? Well, I've seen gorillas on the Marlin Perkins show.
This was like that, but it was kind of like a man.
You know, uh, from the side.
Oh, it was awful.
Was it a man or was it a gorilla? The police say it was a gorilla.
If the police say it was a gorilla, then it was a gorilla.
They shot it.
They should know.
They are the police.
Yeah.
I've already told you, Mr.
Kolchak.
You cannot see Mr.
Kitzmiller without an appointment.
Well, I called to make an appointment.
You put me on hold.
By the time you came back on to tell me to call back, my hair had grown down over the receiver.
Well, Mr.
Kitzmiller was at a luncheon appointment.
So, what else is new? Someday there'll be a waiters' strike, and all the large corporations in America will just topple.
Now, I can give you an appointment on the 23rd, if that's all right, at 10:00.
Really? Yes.
The 23rd? Yes.
Uh-huh.
No.
No, I think I'll wait.
No more stalling around.
- He's in a meeting.
- Yeah, sure, I'll bet.
Do you want an appointment on the 23rd or not? No, I think I'd better go to this meeting.
Act as sort of a consultant.
Mr.
Kitz- Mm.
Mr.
Kitzmiller is in the men's room, right? The meeting is in a restaurant.
Sure.
Thank you.
Good afternoon.
Mr.
Kitzmiller's office.
Oh, Dr.
Arscott.
Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that.
We did send someone out to the airport to meet you.
Uh, could you hold on one moment, please? Good afternoon.
Mr.
Kitzmiller's office.
Well, he's not here at the moment now, Bernice.
Oh.
When did this happen? Uh-huh.
Well, he's with your boss now.
You can reach him there.
Yes, thank you.
Bye.
Dr.
Arscott, I'm sorry.
It's really quite difficult for me to talk now.
I'll have Mr.
Kitzmiller call you.
Thank you.
So, who's Dr.
Arscott, huh? Some bigwig, supposed to come into our city and save our fair town? Whew! I'm very sorry, I don't know what you're talking about.
And I don't know where you get the idea that Mr.
Kitzmiller has something to hide.
It is simply that he is very busy.
Y- Yeah.
He is a vice president you realize.
Yes, well, that's what bothers me.
You see, some of our biggest headaches have come from vice presidents.
Fine.
I guess you'd better get the glazer down here and fix this window again.
Got another one broken, huh? Listen, what in the name of all that is good and holy is going on around here? Nothing.
It's just a little disturbance at the scene of a previous killing, that's all.
Oh, yeah, sure.
Do I have your permission to go on with the investigation? Certainly, Captain, certainly.
Come on, what's going on here? And when do I get a look at that dead ape-man? What ape-man? What ape-man? Well, you're a homicide captain, right? Now, if it's really an ape, why are you investigating it? Why are you on the case? Well, I've got the experience.
Huh? I've had a lot of dealings with baboons.
Uh-huh.
What baboon? November 10, 10:25 p.
m.
, on Grinell Avenue, near what used to be the old Chicago Stadium, truck driver William Pratt was angry enough to burn his brake lining.
He had seniority, and he wasn't supposed to work the night shift.
But his boss had thrown seniority out the window.
Pratt's head was filled with thoughts of revenge.
But William Pratt had bigger problems to worry about than his domineering boss.
Whew! Hey, look out! Didn't you use the powerful stuff? I told you it was big.
What do you have in those darts, antihistamine? Just to make him drowsy? Now wait a minute.
We don't work for you.
We don't have to listen to this.
You said you wanted him alive.
Most of all I wanted him.
Look, you never know how an animal's gonna react to a tranquilizer.
You give him too big a dose, and he goes into shock and dies on you.
You heard him in that truck.
He was blood crazy.
Metabolism racing.
Did he call the animal by name? I mean, did he mention what kind of animal it was? No.
You know those guys, they just squawk into a radio, and then complain afterwards when everything doesn't turn out all right.
You know we fired six tranquilizer darts into that thing? No kidding.
That's a pretty big dose.
Didn't even faze it.
Yeah.
No kidding.
What kind of animal do you think it is? I don't know.
It was too dark.
I don't know who you are, but I think you're a little crazy, shooting off a flashbulb in that thing's face like that.
You could have been mangled.
Yeah, but I wasn't, was- You broke my camera.
You ruined my film.
I had pictures of that thing.
It was just an accident.
Accident? What kind of an accident is that? You threw my camera down on the ground.
You danced the Funky Chicken all over it.
Listen, you owe me.
You owe me.
L - I wanna see a picture of that ape.
I wanna see that ape that you shot over in Gurney's apartment.
I wanna a picture of it.
I wanna look at it.
Now you owe me.
You're right, I owe you.
The department will replace the camera that was broken accidentally.
Just put in your voucher.
Oh, terrific.
That's- Listen, you're treading on very dangerous ground, Captain.
Very dangerous ground.
Now you saw that thing and I saw it.
And that was not just any ape.
I mean, that wasn't just J.
Fred Muggs out there, dressed in a tutu, and drooling for the public and playing on a unicycle.
That was some creature.
Copenik- Copenik has been working on some strange new strain of cell they discovered up in the Arctic.
Is that right? Yeah, that's right.
And those cells are beginning to grow.
They're millions of years old, and they were developing them, and they started to grow.
Now, isn't that strange? Well, I'm not a biologist.
I don't know anything about cells.
I don't even know what your problem is.
Well, my problem is the same as your problem is, Captain.
Where is that creature coming from? Kolchak.
Yeah? Put in your voucher and shut up.
Oh, that's the way you wanna play, huh? That's the way you wanna play.
Okay.
Okay, it's war.
I just put the voucher on your desk.
Against the wall, huh? Well, why? Just play a little poke and pat.
What poke and pat? What are you doing? Huh? What? What? Well, thank you very much.
I'll expect payment immediately.
And thank you for the humiliation you've just put me through.
$125.
It was startling.
The cells were frozen.
Dead to all appearances.
But when we thawed them, they not only exhibited life, they reproduced.
Reproduced? That's right.
Now they stayed unicellular.
But each cell was multinucleate.
Look, let's not drag me back into Biology 101.
What you're talking about is germs.
Now, what does all this have to do with these ape-men? We flew all the way out here to find that out, Mr.
Kitzmiller.
Hopefully we will if you can contain yourself.
We were gonna publish, of course.
We were using the cells just a few at a time, subjecting them to a wide variety of tests.
And we finished up the first phase in time forJules to go to the conference in Helsinki.
Then we closed up shop for a while.
Then, two days later, bingo.
I'm in the hospital.
You left the cells that hadn't been used in the freezing compartment.
Yes, in vacuum lockers.
- What's the matter? - Well, the freezing system broke down about three weeks ago.
I think maybe I missed the point, if the point is that these germs grew into whatever it was that killed Jules Copenik.
They are not germs.
They are single-cell life-forms.
And I'm not about to attest to what you just said without further study.
That's too bad.
Look, folks, let me tell you something, okay? I am a very, very good P.
R.
Man.
If the price of gas shoots up to five dollars a gallon, I can deal with that.
If San Francisco Bay becomes one big tar pit because of our oil spills, I can deal with that.
But, I mean, this- What can I say about this? Scientifically, there's really no precedent for it.
There's no precedent for anything that's happened.
So don't tell me there's no precedent.
Tell me something useful.
I'll make all the phone calls that have to be made.
Mr.
Donadio? We'll go back to the labs and dig into this, please? Are you all right? I'm taking you and putting you in a private institution, away from reporters.
Away from everybody.
Not a word.
Not a word about this, all right? You're incredible.
Isn't the story in yet? Relax, Tony, will you? Just relax.
New York's reading the first paragraph right now.
Oh, I still can't believe it.
"Primitive man in our own time.
" You know, there are times I gotta admit it, Carl.
You are quite a reporter.
What's the matter? You sick or something? You never compliment me.
Carl, think of the headlines of the past.
The big headlines.
Now, now, listen, maybe they'll want a film crew out there.
What? Maybe you'll need a makeup man out there, Carl.
Have you addled your brains completely? We're not at a television station here.
You can be a special guest on a television show.
Not me.
No chance.
Wait, it's coming in.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
"Cancel story"! Oh, I don't believe that.
What, are they crazy? "Cancel story.
Legal department will contact you.
" It's a mistake.
It's a mistake.
Listen, what's going on here? I mean, was I.
N.
S.
Being undermined by the oil company too? I can't say, Carl.
I've been trying to contact them.
The lines have been tied up.
Yeah, sure, I'll bet they have.
Carl, excuse me.
About that ape-man line you got going.
Yeah? Something just happened that I think may blow the whole thing.
It's incredible.
Well, what? What? A friend of mine at the Herald called.
Yeah? Two days ago, there was a truck accident.
A van carrying illegal jungle animals went off the road.
The driver just came forward and confessed.
Confessed to what? It seems some dangerous animals did escape, including two large apes, a pair of adult African gibbons, as well as a Malayan tiger, a civet cat and a pie-cost.
What's a pie-cost? Abbott and Costello, 1946.
I really had you going there.
Yeah.
Now listen, Carl, I'm gonna call New York.
Now never mind them and never mind Harry High School here.
Just keep on the story and get what you can get, will ya? That's terrible.
Maybe you'll like my second joke better.
Your car is parked in my place again.
I called the tow truck.
They'll be here any minute.
You know what? I thought that you'd do that.
I just had a feeling after you told me the other day.
Well, so five minutes ago, I asked our janitor here, Georgy, to take the keys out of your pocket there, and go down and move your car back into your space.
Look.
Keep on truckin', Ron.
Well, this is an emergency.
Break through on 'em.
Come on.
Get through to New York.
Well, I'm trying to.
No! Wait! No, no, no! Yeah.
November 11, 9:30 p.
m.
Rosetta Mason, 22, had been attending a party, but she'd been bored.
Rosetta didn't know it, but for her, the party was really over.
The murder of Rosetta Mason gave the police no new leads.
But it gave me a photograph of a footprint, like no footprint I'd ever seen before.
I placed calls to anthropologists and biologists at the major universities, but again I was put on hold.
I recognized this as the Oceanic International Oil trademark.
I also recognized that universities are supported by the charity oflarge corporations.
But the public school system is still the public school system.
Already? Uh, Mr.
Burton? Carl Kolchak, I.
N.
S.
Oh, I thought lunch period was over for a minute there.
Of course, I should have known better.
There would have been more noise, cursing, things flying through the air ahead of them.
Oh, you're referring to your students? To use the term very loosely.
Mmm.
Can you believe it's only November? - Mr.
Burton, I'd like to ask you a few questions.
- No.
- But you haven't even heard- - No, I'm sorry, not now.
This is the only time I get to read my travel brochures.
I have to figure exactly where I'm going on June 8.
After school, it's the science club.
Nights and weekends, I spend my time going blind trying to decipher their chicken "scrawlings" on their papers and tests.
But this is very important, Mr.
Burton.
Have you heard anything about the rash of killings that have been blamed on large apes? That? Oh, yes, yes, I've heard all right.
Several of my friends have been called in to consult.
They're Ph.
D.
S, and they're so full of self-importance now.
Of course, no one asks a lowly high school pedagogue.
Who asked your friends? The oil company? The police? Who? Oh, they won't say.
It's very hush-hush and cliquey all of the sudden.
Huh.
Uh-huh.
- Mr.
Burton? - Yes.
- Sir.
- Yes.
I am now consulting you.
Here, this is a footprint left by the so-called ape.
Good Lord! It's larger than any primate I've ever seen.
And so-called ape is right.
This does not have prehensile toes like true apes.
Hmm, well, I saw the thing.
It was somewhat human in appearance, uh, form.
Yes, but this arch and heel construction aren't strictly human either.
Well, then it is an ape-man.
That is a misnomer.
It shows a lot of ignorance about evolution.
Well, I'm sorry.
No offense.
People keep saying that man descended from apes.
Forget you ever heard that.
Okay, it's forgotten.
You see, man and apes descended from the same common ancestor.
Yeah? They just went in two different ways.
They're from two different branches of the same tree, not one continuous branch.
Oh.
Hold this.
Follow me, please.
Now, I'll hold this.
Oh.
It's expensive.
You see the teeth? Uh-huh.
All right.
Now this ape's dentition is more suited to eating fruits, vegetables - they're vegetarians.
But, you see, man and all its ancestors are meat eaters.
We have this ripping, tearing teeth.
Yeah, well, these creatures have been eating flesh.
One of them broke into a meat truck.
I love my field.
You know, I've collected all these bones from all over.
I try to teach the kids something but - you know what they call me behind my back? No.
Bones Burton.
No.
Yes.
Well, Bo- Mr.
Burton.
Yes.
Uh, we are saying then that this footprint belongs to a prehistoric man? Come with me.
All right, this is Homo erectus.
Uh-huh.
And his colleague here is Australopithecus.
Ah! You see, early man, both of them.
Neither had 16 double "E" feet.
Geez, I know that one.
I work for him.
No, well, this creature probably came from the Arctic.
If he came from the Arctic, why, he could be anything.
I mean, we know nothing about what happened up there except that it froze.
Yeah.
Well, look here.
See, I took these photos? See, there you go.
Now, this one here was taken on the 8th and this one on the 1 Oth.
Now you see those vacuum containers? Upended.
One upended in this picture, but a second one in this one.
Yeah.
And? Well, now, they contained some sort of cells from the Arctic.
Now is it possible that accidental heat and damp, they could- Gestate into the owner of the footprint? Yeah.
I doubt that could happen.
But a team of scientists recently grew wheat from seeds that were found in the pyramids of Egypt.
Those seeds were 4,000 years old.
Four thousand years old? Well, listen, if there were some new kind of- of different strain of primate man, where would he be? Well, if he's a voracious carnivore as you say he is, then he would probably also be a nocturnal hunter.
Ah, yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah, he's only been sighted at night as far as I know.
Yes, and if he's some deviate cousin of early man, then he would tend toward the caves.
Caves? In Chicago? Terrific.
What's that? Yeah.
You really wanna learn about ape-men, Mr.
Kolchak? Uh-huh.
Stick around.
No, thank you.
Entering O.
I.
O.
Labs at night presented difficulties.
Especially since the guard force in the lobby had been doubled.
I attacked the problem with my brains and my fingernails.
I was getting first-rate copy, but the story was not complete.
An embryo had not attacked people on the streets of Chicago.
A full-grown savage throwback had done so.
Something not unlike each of us, and yet vastly different.
I had to have a picture of it.
There are no caves in Chicago.
But the creature has struck in a rough mile or so radius of O.
I.
O.
Labs.
And in that radius used to stand Chicago Stadium.
It was in the tunnels under the stadium that they did the first atomic testing in those long, dark tunnels.
The stadium is gone now.
They've erected tennis courts and playgrounds.
And nearby, the Enrico Fermi Institute.
But the tunnels are still there.
Sealed, but there.
No, wait.
It's all right.
It's all right.
No, no, no, it's hot.
Hot.
See? Aah! Aah! No good.
It's all right.
Just relax.
Friend.
Wait! No! No.
No! The police and the high-priced scientific help put it together just as I did.
With the proper dosage of tranquilizer, the creature became manageable.
It's a great word, isn't it? Manageable.
They took it, or should I say him, a few moments ago.
He's gonna be tested, studied, probed, I imagine.
Captain Molnar took my camera again, saying that I was unmanageable.
But I wanna sue to get it back, and I promised myself that.
And if I do, if I do get it back, and if Vincenzo will publish the story, and you see the pictures- they may not be too good.
They may be blurry.
They may be titillating and not convincing.
You might not really want to believe them.
But you go ahead.
You believe them.
And ask yourself, "What happened to him, to it? "Will he thrive in our hands? "Is he that much like us? Will they be able to make him manageable?"