Kung Fu Panda: The Paws of Destiny (2018) s01e13 Episode Script
End of the Dragon Master
We need to find Jindiao.
But we're not dragons.
We can't fly.
NU HAI: Who says we can't? Remember what Bunnidharma said.
"The Spirit Realm doesn't follow the rules of our world.
" All right, Po, time for ramming speed! You need to learn when to give up.
Full disclosure.
I was always a terrible student.
Yee-haw! What? Whoa! Killer plot twist! How did you get your hero chi back? Long story.
Gonna have to wait.
Scatter! I'll distract Tall, Dark and Ugly.
You kids get your Four Constellations on.
Let's put some extra stank on this.
Whoo-doggy, that is some ripe breath you got there.
Maybe it's time for a little floss or a tasty mint? Or some panda.
NU HAI: Now! Pose for the pretty picture.
That's not good, bubba.
Let's go! NU HAI: Hurry up! Oh, great.
The freakin' dragon guy again! Whoa! My Hero Chi.
It's back.
Oh, yeah, baby, it's on Is it too late to go back to the Spirit Realm? We're fine.
This is fine.
Because I've got a plan.
Surrender, Jindiao! That was your plan? Well, it was worth a shot.
Master Po! What do we do? Good old plan B.
We fight him.
MEI MEI: Cut! Cut! I gots me a hostage.
Listen here, you giant leather handbag.
Get the heck outta my village.
Or your girl gets it.
JINDIAO: No! Please! I'll do anything you say! Mmm-hmm.
That's what I thought, you basic.
Oh, that's cold, man.
Did you really think she meant anything to me? Now, before I'm forced to hurt anyone else, perhaps a moment of reflection.
Hmm? I'll go first.
I think we've all gotten off on the wrong foot.
My friends, I am here, not as an oppressor, but as an ally.
I wish to return you pandas to your rightful place, as the Guardians of the Wellspring.
To rule by my side.
To live like royalty in your ancestral homeland.
Untold riches.
Security.
And all the food you could ever eat.
No longer hiding.
Or living in fear.
You will reign over the land as masters of your own destiny.
Imagine it.
Heaven and Earth merging to become one.
It can happen.
JINDIAO: All that can be yours, once we've dealt with one teensy little detail.
Well, this seems like a good time to take a huge gulp of water.
All you must do to have everything you've ever wanted is turn the four panda children over to me.
What? Why are villains so mean? These children have always been troublemakers and outsiders.
They've never truly been a part of this village.
Surely, sacrificing the children is a small price to pay to make all your dreams come true.
Oh, come on! Don't tell me you guys are actually considering this! What if we say no? Simple.
I wipe this entire village off the map.
Folks, clearly, it would be ridiculous and irresponsible to reject Jindiao's offer.
Dad? But the answer is no.
Huh? Are you kidding me? Really? I totally would've taken that deal.
Your offer is very generous, Jindiao, but pandas don't need riches.
I'll take any riches they don't want.
We've already got everything we need right here in Panda Village.
Because pandas stick together.
If one panda's in trouble, all of the pandas are in trouble.
[VILLAGERS MURMURING IN AGREEMENT.]
So you can take your little deal and stick it up your Nose holes.
You'd be so stupid as to throw away your lives to save these little delinquents? Who said anything about throwing our lives away? We're gonna stomp your scaly butt, pal! You can't take these kids! You cannot win.
Yes, we can.
We are pandas.
We are warriors.
And even though we forgot who we truly were over the years, we are the Guardians of the Wellspring.
Zhizhu, now! Did somebody say Zhizhu? Get me out of here! Now! We've got to blast Jindiao now! Where's the Spirit Urn? I don't even know if we can do it.
This far from the Wellspring, we'll never have enough chi power.
Oh, oh! Maybe we can use the power of the villagers the same way we'd use the Wellspring! I think it might actually be working! And I think I just tinkled a little in my burlap jean shorts! Son! Don't you need that, uh, Spirit Urn? MR.
PING: Cart attack! Whoa, whoa.
Whoa! You guys gotta blast Jindiao's soul out of his body.
I'll get the Urn.
Huzzah! Give me that! Oh gotcha! But where's the flippin' Spirit Urn? Oh, no! PO: Huzzah! Ha HUIFANG: Got it! And I'm the last one that's ever gonna touch it.
Buh-bye, Spirit Urn! PO: Oh, no! Huh? Jade Tusk? You have to stop Jindiao.
Oh, right! Talk later! Everyone, on my signal, give it all ya got! Now! No! VILLAGER: My goodness! Whoa.
Why? I have done horrible things in Jindiao's name.
And now I realize I meant nothing to him.
You saved my life.
After I almost destroyed yours.
Why? We're pandas.
We help anybody who needs it.
Heck-to-the-yes, that's how we do! Yeah, we're a real treat.
You are welcome to stay in Panda Village for as long as you need to.
The world is lucky to have heroes like you.
So, where do you go now? I don't know.
I've been Jindiao's student for as long as I can remember.
I must find out who I am without him.
Sounds like somebody's in the market for a new hobby.
Ooh, my Aunt Feng has found composting to be quite rewarding.
For now, I must get back and make sure my fellow monks are taken care of.
Perhaps with Jindiao out of the picture, the Poison Clan can be rebuilt.
Better, stronger, and kinder.
Did we do it, Master Po? Is it over? We still got one thing left to do.
Ladies and gentlemen, we are here to honor the heroes who saved Panda Village.
Let's give a big round of applause to Nu Hai, Bao, Jing and Fan Tong.
They're my son's students! My son! The Dragon Master.
Can you believe it? Did I mention that Okay, Pops, wrap it up.
Yeah, wrap it up! My sweet buns are getting soggy.
Without further ado, hold on to your hats and glasses, folks! Here we go! Huh? Uh These are, uh, just placeholders.
The real, full-sized, impressive statues will be here a little later.
Uh, when we hire an artisan to carve them from stone.
And also find a place to get giant hunks of stone.
Oh, please! Uh Who's hungry? Wow.
I would not want to be that buffet right now.
Yeah, the whole village is really going beast mode on that.
They're celebrating you.
Mmm.
That's a fun change of pace, huh? Good job, us.
Yeah, whoo-hoo or whatever.
PO: Hey, it's not every day that you save the world from a massive evil dragon god.
Don't forget that.
'Cause that would've been a bummer.
I mean, if Jindiao, you know, had enslaved the entire world in fire and fury.
Do you think he's really gone? If Bunnidharma's incoherent ramblings were accurate, ol' J.
D.
's not coming back from where we sent him.
YAOGUAI: So I tell the Grand Inquisitor I must return to my wife before she has fully risen from her cocoon.
Our neighbor, Ragnar, has long coveted the sweet perfume of her bile duct.
And he would like nothing more than to bind her seven hooves and claim her as his own.
LOUD RUDE VULTURE: Oh, I don't trust that Ragnar.
I'll tell you that.
Not one bit! Hey, you wanna weigh in on this, roomie? JINDIAO: What I want is for both of you to stop talking.
Forever.
Ever.
Ever.
Ever! LOUD RUDE VULTURE: Ooh.
Somebody got up on the wrong side of the cursed mystical jar this morning.
JINDIAO: I need you to stop talking.
LOUD RUDE VULTURE: So, like, which side of the bucket do you want to sleep on? Also, I snore now.
Hope that's not a problem.
JINDIAO: Shut up, shut up, shut up! Anyway, where was I? Oh, right! My wife's bile duct.
There was a way that she The universe, once again feels as though it is in the proper balance.
Yes, Jindiao will suffer for his crimes.
And you can forgive yourself.
Not many receive second chances, but you did an amazing thing with yours.
Thank you, my old friend.
Now, to more important matters.
What is it exactly that we do all day up here? Oh.
We mostly bask in the warm glow of everlasting enlightenment, dwelling blissfully in the eternal now.
And, you know, naps.
BUNNIDHARMA: Ah, I think I could get used to this.
Son, your students are looking pretty good.
Seems like you're a natural at this teaching thing.
Thanks, Dad.
MR.
PING: Yeah, and even if you fail miserably as a Kung Fu teacher, you still have the awful hours and bad pay of the noodle shop to fall back on.
Uh Thanks, Dad.
Anybody can do Kung Fu! Watch.
Ouch! Dad! Are you okay? MR.
PING: Just a little broken skull.
It's nothing.
I like my vision a little blurry like this.
Mmm-hmm.
Okay.
Looking great, everybody.
You know, now seems like as good a time as any for an epic Dragon Master Pep Talk.
A D.
M.
P.
T.
Something that puts everything we've all been through over the last few weeks into perspective, you know? Wraps it all up neatly.
In a bow.
A thematic bow, that just makes you go, "Wow, I'm leaving this experience deeply changed.
"And in ways maybe I didn't expect.
" See, kids, a wise sage once said Holy crap, it's a long way up here.
What's going on, Grandma? You kiddos are hot stuff all over China.
Everybody's heard about what you did and now they want your help.
Ooh! There's a demon haunting an ancient temple on Mount Cangyan.
We should go there, right? Hey, sky pirates have hijacked a dirigible full of gold.
What's a dirigible? JING: Who cares? It's full of gold.
And there's pirates to beat up.
Ooh, I got a good one, too! Seems this lady here can't find her glasses.
I bet they're on the top of her head.
Is this how it's gonna be now, Master Po? It sure was for the Furious Five.
Welcome to being a hero.
Folks all over will be coming out of the woodwork needing your help.
So what do we do, Master Po? Um, we help them.
I'm so gonna be famous off of this.
Since we're gonna be in the public eye, should I frost my tips? Bao! BAO: Or start wearing guy I don't know.
Just something to let everyone know I'm the bad boy of the team.
But we're not dragons.
We can't fly.
NU HAI: Who says we can't? Remember what Bunnidharma said.
"The Spirit Realm doesn't follow the rules of our world.
" All right, Po, time for ramming speed! You need to learn when to give up.
Full disclosure.
I was always a terrible student.
Yee-haw! What? Whoa! Killer plot twist! How did you get your hero chi back? Long story.
Gonna have to wait.
Scatter! I'll distract Tall, Dark and Ugly.
You kids get your Four Constellations on.
Let's put some extra stank on this.
Whoo-doggy, that is some ripe breath you got there.
Maybe it's time for a little floss or a tasty mint? Or some panda.
NU HAI: Now! Pose for the pretty picture.
That's not good, bubba.
Let's go! NU HAI: Hurry up! Oh, great.
The freakin' dragon guy again! Whoa! My Hero Chi.
It's back.
Oh, yeah, baby, it's on Is it too late to go back to the Spirit Realm? We're fine.
This is fine.
Because I've got a plan.
Surrender, Jindiao! That was your plan? Well, it was worth a shot.
Master Po! What do we do? Good old plan B.
We fight him.
MEI MEI: Cut! Cut! I gots me a hostage.
Listen here, you giant leather handbag.
Get the heck outta my village.
Or your girl gets it.
JINDIAO: No! Please! I'll do anything you say! Mmm-hmm.
That's what I thought, you basic.
Oh, that's cold, man.
Did you really think she meant anything to me? Now, before I'm forced to hurt anyone else, perhaps a moment of reflection.
Hmm? I'll go first.
I think we've all gotten off on the wrong foot.
My friends, I am here, not as an oppressor, but as an ally.
I wish to return you pandas to your rightful place, as the Guardians of the Wellspring.
To rule by my side.
To live like royalty in your ancestral homeland.
Untold riches.
Security.
And all the food you could ever eat.
No longer hiding.
Or living in fear.
You will reign over the land as masters of your own destiny.
Imagine it.
Heaven and Earth merging to become one.
It can happen.
JINDIAO: All that can be yours, once we've dealt with one teensy little detail.
Well, this seems like a good time to take a huge gulp of water.
All you must do to have everything you've ever wanted is turn the four panda children over to me.
What? Why are villains so mean? These children have always been troublemakers and outsiders.
They've never truly been a part of this village.
Surely, sacrificing the children is a small price to pay to make all your dreams come true.
Oh, come on! Don't tell me you guys are actually considering this! What if we say no? Simple.
I wipe this entire village off the map.
Folks, clearly, it would be ridiculous and irresponsible to reject Jindiao's offer.
Dad? But the answer is no.
Huh? Are you kidding me? Really? I totally would've taken that deal.
Your offer is very generous, Jindiao, but pandas don't need riches.
I'll take any riches they don't want.
We've already got everything we need right here in Panda Village.
Because pandas stick together.
If one panda's in trouble, all of the pandas are in trouble.
[VILLAGERS MURMURING IN AGREEMENT.]
So you can take your little deal and stick it up your Nose holes.
You'd be so stupid as to throw away your lives to save these little delinquents? Who said anything about throwing our lives away? We're gonna stomp your scaly butt, pal! You can't take these kids! You cannot win.
Yes, we can.
We are pandas.
We are warriors.
And even though we forgot who we truly were over the years, we are the Guardians of the Wellspring.
Zhizhu, now! Did somebody say Zhizhu? Get me out of here! Now! We've got to blast Jindiao now! Where's the Spirit Urn? I don't even know if we can do it.
This far from the Wellspring, we'll never have enough chi power.
Oh, oh! Maybe we can use the power of the villagers the same way we'd use the Wellspring! I think it might actually be working! And I think I just tinkled a little in my burlap jean shorts! Son! Don't you need that, uh, Spirit Urn? MR.
PING: Cart attack! Whoa, whoa.
Whoa! You guys gotta blast Jindiao's soul out of his body.
I'll get the Urn.
Huzzah! Give me that! Oh gotcha! But where's the flippin' Spirit Urn? Oh, no! PO: Huzzah! Ha HUIFANG: Got it! And I'm the last one that's ever gonna touch it.
Buh-bye, Spirit Urn! PO: Oh, no! Huh? Jade Tusk? You have to stop Jindiao.
Oh, right! Talk later! Everyone, on my signal, give it all ya got! Now! No! VILLAGER: My goodness! Whoa.
Why? I have done horrible things in Jindiao's name.
And now I realize I meant nothing to him.
You saved my life.
After I almost destroyed yours.
Why? We're pandas.
We help anybody who needs it.
Heck-to-the-yes, that's how we do! Yeah, we're a real treat.
You are welcome to stay in Panda Village for as long as you need to.
The world is lucky to have heroes like you.
So, where do you go now? I don't know.
I've been Jindiao's student for as long as I can remember.
I must find out who I am without him.
Sounds like somebody's in the market for a new hobby.
Ooh, my Aunt Feng has found composting to be quite rewarding.
For now, I must get back and make sure my fellow monks are taken care of.
Perhaps with Jindiao out of the picture, the Poison Clan can be rebuilt.
Better, stronger, and kinder.
Did we do it, Master Po? Is it over? We still got one thing left to do.
Ladies and gentlemen, we are here to honor the heroes who saved Panda Village.
Let's give a big round of applause to Nu Hai, Bao, Jing and Fan Tong.
They're my son's students! My son! The Dragon Master.
Can you believe it? Did I mention that Okay, Pops, wrap it up.
Yeah, wrap it up! My sweet buns are getting soggy.
Without further ado, hold on to your hats and glasses, folks! Here we go! Huh? Uh These are, uh, just placeholders.
The real, full-sized, impressive statues will be here a little later.
Uh, when we hire an artisan to carve them from stone.
And also find a place to get giant hunks of stone.
Oh, please! Uh Who's hungry? Wow.
I would not want to be that buffet right now.
Yeah, the whole village is really going beast mode on that.
They're celebrating you.
Mmm.
That's a fun change of pace, huh? Good job, us.
Yeah, whoo-hoo or whatever.
PO: Hey, it's not every day that you save the world from a massive evil dragon god.
Don't forget that.
'Cause that would've been a bummer.
I mean, if Jindiao, you know, had enslaved the entire world in fire and fury.
Do you think he's really gone? If Bunnidharma's incoherent ramblings were accurate, ol' J.
D.
's not coming back from where we sent him.
YAOGUAI: So I tell the Grand Inquisitor I must return to my wife before she has fully risen from her cocoon.
Our neighbor, Ragnar, has long coveted the sweet perfume of her bile duct.
And he would like nothing more than to bind her seven hooves and claim her as his own.
LOUD RUDE VULTURE: Oh, I don't trust that Ragnar.
I'll tell you that.
Not one bit! Hey, you wanna weigh in on this, roomie? JINDIAO: What I want is for both of you to stop talking.
Forever.
Ever.
Ever.
Ever! LOUD RUDE VULTURE: Ooh.
Somebody got up on the wrong side of the cursed mystical jar this morning.
JINDIAO: I need you to stop talking.
LOUD RUDE VULTURE: So, like, which side of the bucket do you want to sleep on? Also, I snore now.
Hope that's not a problem.
JINDIAO: Shut up, shut up, shut up! Anyway, where was I? Oh, right! My wife's bile duct.
There was a way that she The universe, once again feels as though it is in the proper balance.
Yes, Jindiao will suffer for his crimes.
And you can forgive yourself.
Not many receive second chances, but you did an amazing thing with yours.
Thank you, my old friend.
Now, to more important matters.
What is it exactly that we do all day up here? Oh.
We mostly bask in the warm glow of everlasting enlightenment, dwelling blissfully in the eternal now.
And, you know, naps.
BUNNIDHARMA: Ah, I think I could get used to this.
Son, your students are looking pretty good.
Seems like you're a natural at this teaching thing.
Thanks, Dad.
MR.
PING: Yeah, and even if you fail miserably as a Kung Fu teacher, you still have the awful hours and bad pay of the noodle shop to fall back on.
Uh Thanks, Dad.
Anybody can do Kung Fu! Watch.
Ouch! Dad! Are you okay? MR.
PING: Just a little broken skull.
It's nothing.
I like my vision a little blurry like this.
Mmm-hmm.
Okay.
Looking great, everybody.
You know, now seems like as good a time as any for an epic Dragon Master Pep Talk.
A D.
M.
P.
T.
Something that puts everything we've all been through over the last few weeks into perspective, you know? Wraps it all up neatly.
In a bow.
A thematic bow, that just makes you go, "Wow, I'm leaving this experience deeply changed.
"And in ways maybe I didn't expect.
" See, kids, a wise sage once said Holy crap, it's a long way up here.
What's going on, Grandma? You kiddos are hot stuff all over China.
Everybody's heard about what you did and now they want your help.
Ooh! There's a demon haunting an ancient temple on Mount Cangyan.
We should go there, right? Hey, sky pirates have hijacked a dirigible full of gold.
What's a dirigible? JING: Who cares? It's full of gold.
And there's pirates to beat up.
Ooh, I got a good one, too! Seems this lady here can't find her glasses.
I bet they're on the top of her head.
Is this how it's gonna be now, Master Po? It sure was for the Furious Five.
Welcome to being a hero.
Folks all over will be coming out of the woodwork needing your help.
So what do we do, Master Po? Um, we help them.
I'm so gonna be famous off of this.
Since we're gonna be in the public eye, should I frost my tips? Bao! BAO: Or start wearing guy I don't know.
Just something to let everyone know I'm the bad boy of the team.