My Place (2009) s01e13 Episode Script
Finale
(INTRIGUING PIANO AND CELLO MUSIC) I'm a witch.
Brrrmmmm! I am the magician! I'm not weird.
You're gonna get in so much trouble! (LAUGHTER) GIRL: Oooh! (GIRL SQUEALS) (CHILDREN GIGGLE) Go round the back.
You go.
(GIGGLING, WHISPERING) (WHOOSH!) Ow! (LAUGHTER) Boo! I'm Victoria and this is my place.
I don't like games like these.
I'm too old for them.
Alright, it's the blindfold I don't like.
You can't see what's going to happen.
Ow! Wesley, I'm going to throttle you with that slingshot.
(GIRL LAUGHS) WESLEY: Watch out! Watch out! (GIGGLING) (WHOOSH!) Ow! Ooh! Ohh! WESLEY: Can I have it? Give it to me.
(HORSE SNORTS) That's mine.
Hello.
I'm Victoria, and this is Wesley and May.
We've just moved into the house next to the Mullers.
(HORSE WHICKERS) Our father's a builder.
Our house isn't finished yet, but nearly.
There's not that much more to go.
We're the first people ever to live there.
Well, I live over there in the big house.
It's completely finished because we Owens have always lived there, so that means that this is our land, our tree and you don't belong here.
And that belongs to me.
Alexandra, what did Father tell you about speaking to strangers? (HORSE SNORTS AND GRUMBLES) It should have been ours.
We found it.
She was mean.
That girl was mean.
You just gave it to her.
(BIRD CAWS) Oh, thank goodness you're here.
Come and stand over here by the window.
Put your hands down by your sides, standing tall.
Put this on your head.
Put your hands down back by your sides.
Where are your brother and sister? Oh, good! Wesley, come and stand over here by the fireplace.
Yes.
Why has she got a basket on her head? Hold this.
Up high.
Higher! May, you stand here.
Arms down by sides, standing straight.
Can I hold something too? Shh! I need to concentrate.
It simply has to be three.
The look of the room would be all wrong with just two lamps.
(DISTANT HAMMERING) I knew it.
Victoria, go fetch your father.
(DISTANT VOICES AND HAMMERING) OK, Wesley, down you go.
Three lamps - marvellous! MAN: So we'll put the cat up in the roof.
Have you been drinking? (HAMMERING AND SAWING) No, no, you're not with me.
The cat's dead.
Why on earth would I want a dead cat in my roof? To keep the witches away.
Listen to me.
Every witch has a cat, right? Mm-hm.
So if you put a dead one up in the roof, they'll not come anywhere near you.
Don't you dare.
That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard in all my days.
Suit yourself, but if you ask me, I'll tell you you need all the luck you can get right now.
(HAMMERING) Ah, Queen Victoria.
Have I been summoned? Yes.
Well, we'd best not keep your mother waiting, then.
What did that man mean about you needing luck? Don't listen to him.
He's Irish, that's all.
Talking rubbish.
I'm the luckiest man alive to have a daughter like you.
(GROANS SOFTLY) Mrs March confirmed she'll be attending my At Home next week.
That's eight now.
Be ten if the Owens come.
Their presence would lend a certain distinction.
They have after all resided in this area longer than anyone can remember.
(GROANS SOFTLY) Ah! I do hope they'll feel comfortable.
Such comparatively humble surroundings, their own home being so grand.
I've heard there are two delightful daughters.
You should make an effort to get to know them.
MAY: I wish we could have chicken every night.
Well, then, it wouldn't be very special, would it? And what's more special than moving into a brand-new home? Well, perhaps, it being actually finished.
Victoria, why have you not eaten your chicken? It's all red on the bone there.
Don't be ridiculous, child.
Eat up.
I'm not hungry.
It's because she's scared.
She's scared of everything.
Even those dumb old Owen girls.
That's not true.
I won't have good food going to waste.
I'll eat it.
Oh! Victoria, sit down.
Wesley, where are your manners? (GIGGLES) May, stop it.
Stop it at once.
Arthur, say something.
(DOOR CLOSES) Shh! Shh! (CAT MIAOWS) (FOOTSTEPS, CAT MIAOWS) Well! That'll be Miss Muller.
Fancy getting home at such an hour.
What's wrong with that? She works.
She has a job.
The telephone exchange.
It's not natural.
Isn't that right, Arthur? Arthur! (CLEARS THROAT) What's that, dear? Miss Muller.
I don't approve.
I don't approve at all.
(CAT MIAOWS) And she's got that cat.
Perhaps she's one of those witches we should be watching out for.
(CAT MIAOWS) (CARRIAGE APPROACHES, MAN URGES HORSES) Whoa! (HORSE NEIGHS) Aunt Min, do you want a ride? (DOOR OPENS) That'd be lovely.
(HORSE SNORTS) Ah, the lovely Minna Muller.
Is she a witch? Well, she's certainly bewitching.
Why aren't you back at the house? Well, you'll have to ask your father that.
It's because you wanted to put a cat in the roof.
Did he sack you? Listen, I've never been sacked in my life.
Don't even be putting that around.
I've got a little girl like you.
Which is why I can't be working for someone who can't pay me.
ARTHUR: We simply have to make do.
I can't have people coming in here with one lamp.
(SOBS) One lamp in this room? Arthur, I can't believe you'd say such a thing.
I'm not asking for much.
(FOOTSTEPS OVER FLOORBOARDS) (MINNA LAUGHS, CAT MIAOWS) (CAT MIAOWS, MINNA LAUGHS) (MINNA SPEAKS GERMAN) (CAT MIAOWS) (MINNA SPEAKS GERMAN) (MINNA LAUGHS) May, wake up, wake up.
Wesley, come on.
Come on, get up.
Come on, May.
Come on.
I'm a witch.
You're what? A witch? Prove it.
I can see the future.
I predict that the dunny can man will drop his load.
(MAY AND WESLEY GIGGLE) (COW LOWS, ROOSTER CROWS) (DOG BARKS, HORSE NEIGHS) It's him! (CHICKENS CLUCK) (COCKATOO SCREECHES) (HORSE NEIGHS, CARRIAGE APPROACHES) Whoa.
Whoa there.
(SQUAWKS) Waaa! (KIDS GIGGLE) MAN: Flippir frogs and toads! I predict that we will have chicken soup for lunch.
Would you like some soup, Wesley? It's chicken.
Your favourite.
I predict that that Father will not say a word at dinner.
The Owens have not yet responded to my invitation.
I suppose they could be forgiven for thinking, with the state of the front door, that there is no home for the At Home.
Perhaps I'll hear from them tomorrow.
I just pray we have at least the correct number of chairs should they do us the honour of their presence.
MARY: I must know how long it will be.
ARTHUR: Chairs, chairs, lamps.
I'm working as hard as I can, Mary.
I don't want you working at all.
It's beneath you.
You simply need men to finish the job.
But there's no money for that.
I have to finish the job myself.
How am I meant to make an impression when this is how you behave? You would prefer I sell the house? (CONVERSATION CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) But I don't wanna leave! We won't have to leave.
You just said We won't have to leave, not after my spell.
Now, this is what we have to do.
We have to collect all these things like ingredients for chicken soup - you know, the carrots, the chicken bones, the potatoes - except the house is like a cauldron and we put all the ingredients in to make a spell.
Where are we gonna put the chicken bones? No, we collect all these different things.
Like this.
By themselves, they're not magic, but once we hide them in the house, once they're all together, I can put a spell on them so that we stay here forever.
What do you need? Three rocks from the creek.
Tied with your boot lace.
WESLEY: What?! That's not fair! That cod-liver oil.
WESLEY: Ewww! Ewww! The Centennial Biscuit tin.
KIDS: Yum! The china egg from the henouse.
(CLUCKS) (CHICKENS CLUCK) Your slingshot.
What?! It's not fair.
What are you giving up? Humph! Now we have to hide them one by one.
Ah, my lady.
VICTORIA: Where are you going? (SIGHS) I'm going to the bank.
You all stay at home and get ready.
For what? For everything in the world to be alright.
(MAY GIGGLES) (CHANTS) Hiya-biya posti kali mali-bali sky pakali! What are you doing in my horse paddock? Where's your horse? What were you doing just now? WESLEY: It was a spell to make sure we live in our house forever and ever.
It won't work.
BOTH: Yes, it will.
No, it won't.
There's nothing you can do.
Quaff-eye ponzu liz-hobble! Zeb-quizzle mog-bop.
Efizzle-dee-dee carocious ping quix hong fibliver! (LAUGHS) That's just silly nonsense.
(LAUGHS) (ALEXANDRA SCREAMS) (MOANS) Emma! I'm coming.
Stay where you are.
Go away! Get out of my paddock.
Oh, it hurts, Emma.
It hurts so much.
(BANGING AND SCRAPING) (SIGHS) (ARTHUR SOBS QUIETLY) (WEEPS) I'm so sorry.
I didn't know I could do that.
If I did, I would never have.
You have to believe me.
I never meant to hurt you.
ALEXANDRA: What are you talking about? Yesterday in the paddock.
Are you mad? You never even touched me.
But your hands My sister was stung by a bee in the paddock yesterday.
Maybe I made that bee sting you.
Did you make our father gamble away all our money last year too? Alexandra! I don't see why it's some big secret.
He should be ashamed.
We had to sell our horses and now we have to move.
Alexandra! Victoria! Where are your manners? (KNOCK AT DOOR) Father, are we moving? Why would you think that? The Owens are moving and you don't have any men working for you anymore and you don't have any money.
It might be taking a little longer than your mother would like, but I'm finishing the house, aren't I? Is this going to be my place forever? (SIGHS) Well, it'll always be your place because you've lived here, so you'll always be a part of it forever.
(RAIN PATTERS, THUNDER RUMBLES) (SNIFFLES) (INTRIGUING MUSIC) (GIRLS LAUGH) GIRL: Wait for me! GIRL: It's just like heaven.
(GIRL SQUEALS) Duck for cover! Cover!
Brrrmmmm! I am the magician! I'm not weird.
You're gonna get in so much trouble! (LAUGHTER) GIRL: Oooh! (GIRL SQUEALS) (CHILDREN GIGGLE) Go round the back.
You go.
(GIGGLING, WHISPERING) (WHOOSH!) Ow! (LAUGHTER) Boo! I'm Victoria and this is my place.
I don't like games like these.
I'm too old for them.
Alright, it's the blindfold I don't like.
You can't see what's going to happen.
Ow! Wesley, I'm going to throttle you with that slingshot.
(GIRL LAUGHS) WESLEY: Watch out! Watch out! (GIGGLING) (WHOOSH!) Ow! Ooh! Ohh! WESLEY: Can I have it? Give it to me.
(HORSE SNORTS) That's mine.
Hello.
I'm Victoria, and this is Wesley and May.
We've just moved into the house next to the Mullers.
(HORSE WHICKERS) Our father's a builder.
Our house isn't finished yet, but nearly.
There's not that much more to go.
We're the first people ever to live there.
Well, I live over there in the big house.
It's completely finished because we Owens have always lived there, so that means that this is our land, our tree and you don't belong here.
And that belongs to me.
Alexandra, what did Father tell you about speaking to strangers? (HORSE SNORTS AND GRUMBLES) It should have been ours.
We found it.
She was mean.
That girl was mean.
You just gave it to her.
(BIRD CAWS) Oh, thank goodness you're here.
Come and stand over here by the window.
Put your hands down by your sides, standing tall.
Put this on your head.
Put your hands down back by your sides.
Where are your brother and sister? Oh, good! Wesley, come and stand over here by the fireplace.
Yes.
Why has she got a basket on her head? Hold this.
Up high.
Higher! May, you stand here.
Arms down by sides, standing straight.
Can I hold something too? Shh! I need to concentrate.
It simply has to be three.
The look of the room would be all wrong with just two lamps.
(DISTANT HAMMERING) I knew it.
Victoria, go fetch your father.
(DISTANT VOICES AND HAMMERING) OK, Wesley, down you go.
Three lamps - marvellous! MAN: So we'll put the cat up in the roof.
Have you been drinking? (HAMMERING AND SAWING) No, no, you're not with me.
The cat's dead.
Why on earth would I want a dead cat in my roof? To keep the witches away.
Listen to me.
Every witch has a cat, right? Mm-hm.
So if you put a dead one up in the roof, they'll not come anywhere near you.
Don't you dare.
That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard in all my days.
Suit yourself, but if you ask me, I'll tell you you need all the luck you can get right now.
(HAMMERING) Ah, Queen Victoria.
Have I been summoned? Yes.
Well, we'd best not keep your mother waiting, then.
What did that man mean about you needing luck? Don't listen to him.
He's Irish, that's all.
Talking rubbish.
I'm the luckiest man alive to have a daughter like you.
(GROANS SOFTLY) Mrs March confirmed she'll be attending my At Home next week.
That's eight now.
Be ten if the Owens come.
Their presence would lend a certain distinction.
They have after all resided in this area longer than anyone can remember.
(GROANS SOFTLY) Ah! I do hope they'll feel comfortable.
Such comparatively humble surroundings, their own home being so grand.
I've heard there are two delightful daughters.
You should make an effort to get to know them.
MAY: I wish we could have chicken every night.
Well, then, it wouldn't be very special, would it? And what's more special than moving into a brand-new home? Well, perhaps, it being actually finished.
Victoria, why have you not eaten your chicken? It's all red on the bone there.
Don't be ridiculous, child.
Eat up.
I'm not hungry.
It's because she's scared.
She's scared of everything.
Even those dumb old Owen girls.
That's not true.
I won't have good food going to waste.
I'll eat it.
Oh! Victoria, sit down.
Wesley, where are your manners? (GIGGLES) May, stop it.
Stop it at once.
Arthur, say something.
(DOOR CLOSES) Shh! Shh! (CAT MIAOWS) (FOOTSTEPS, CAT MIAOWS) Well! That'll be Miss Muller.
Fancy getting home at such an hour.
What's wrong with that? She works.
She has a job.
The telephone exchange.
It's not natural.
Isn't that right, Arthur? Arthur! (CLEARS THROAT) What's that, dear? Miss Muller.
I don't approve.
I don't approve at all.
(CAT MIAOWS) And she's got that cat.
Perhaps she's one of those witches we should be watching out for.
(CAT MIAOWS) (CARRIAGE APPROACHES, MAN URGES HORSES) Whoa! (HORSE NEIGHS) Aunt Min, do you want a ride? (DOOR OPENS) That'd be lovely.
(HORSE SNORTS) Ah, the lovely Minna Muller.
Is she a witch? Well, she's certainly bewitching.
Why aren't you back at the house? Well, you'll have to ask your father that.
It's because you wanted to put a cat in the roof.
Did he sack you? Listen, I've never been sacked in my life.
Don't even be putting that around.
I've got a little girl like you.
Which is why I can't be working for someone who can't pay me.
ARTHUR: We simply have to make do.
I can't have people coming in here with one lamp.
(SOBS) One lamp in this room? Arthur, I can't believe you'd say such a thing.
I'm not asking for much.
(FOOTSTEPS OVER FLOORBOARDS) (MINNA LAUGHS, CAT MIAOWS) (CAT MIAOWS, MINNA LAUGHS) (MINNA SPEAKS GERMAN) (CAT MIAOWS) (MINNA SPEAKS GERMAN) (MINNA LAUGHS) May, wake up, wake up.
Wesley, come on.
Come on, get up.
Come on, May.
Come on.
I'm a witch.
You're what? A witch? Prove it.
I can see the future.
I predict that the dunny can man will drop his load.
(MAY AND WESLEY GIGGLE) (COW LOWS, ROOSTER CROWS) (DOG BARKS, HORSE NEIGHS) It's him! (CHICKENS CLUCK) (COCKATOO SCREECHES) (HORSE NEIGHS, CARRIAGE APPROACHES) Whoa.
Whoa there.
(SQUAWKS) Waaa! (KIDS GIGGLE) MAN: Flippir frogs and toads! I predict that we will have chicken soup for lunch.
Would you like some soup, Wesley? It's chicken.
Your favourite.
I predict that that Father will not say a word at dinner.
The Owens have not yet responded to my invitation.
I suppose they could be forgiven for thinking, with the state of the front door, that there is no home for the At Home.
Perhaps I'll hear from them tomorrow.
I just pray we have at least the correct number of chairs should they do us the honour of their presence.
MARY: I must know how long it will be.
ARTHUR: Chairs, chairs, lamps.
I'm working as hard as I can, Mary.
I don't want you working at all.
It's beneath you.
You simply need men to finish the job.
But there's no money for that.
I have to finish the job myself.
How am I meant to make an impression when this is how you behave? You would prefer I sell the house? (CONVERSATION CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) But I don't wanna leave! We won't have to leave.
You just said We won't have to leave, not after my spell.
Now, this is what we have to do.
We have to collect all these things like ingredients for chicken soup - you know, the carrots, the chicken bones, the potatoes - except the house is like a cauldron and we put all the ingredients in to make a spell.
Where are we gonna put the chicken bones? No, we collect all these different things.
Like this.
By themselves, they're not magic, but once we hide them in the house, once they're all together, I can put a spell on them so that we stay here forever.
What do you need? Three rocks from the creek.
Tied with your boot lace.
WESLEY: What?! That's not fair! That cod-liver oil.
WESLEY: Ewww! Ewww! The Centennial Biscuit tin.
KIDS: Yum! The china egg from the henouse.
(CLUCKS) (CHICKENS CLUCK) Your slingshot.
What?! It's not fair.
What are you giving up? Humph! Now we have to hide them one by one.
Ah, my lady.
VICTORIA: Where are you going? (SIGHS) I'm going to the bank.
You all stay at home and get ready.
For what? For everything in the world to be alright.
(MAY GIGGLES) (CHANTS) Hiya-biya posti kali mali-bali sky pakali! What are you doing in my horse paddock? Where's your horse? What were you doing just now? WESLEY: It was a spell to make sure we live in our house forever and ever.
It won't work.
BOTH: Yes, it will.
No, it won't.
There's nothing you can do.
Quaff-eye ponzu liz-hobble! Zeb-quizzle mog-bop.
Efizzle-dee-dee carocious ping quix hong fibliver! (LAUGHS) That's just silly nonsense.
(LAUGHS) (ALEXANDRA SCREAMS) (MOANS) Emma! I'm coming.
Stay where you are.
Go away! Get out of my paddock.
Oh, it hurts, Emma.
It hurts so much.
(BANGING AND SCRAPING) (SIGHS) (ARTHUR SOBS QUIETLY) (WEEPS) I'm so sorry.
I didn't know I could do that.
If I did, I would never have.
You have to believe me.
I never meant to hurt you.
ALEXANDRA: What are you talking about? Yesterday in the paddock.
Are you mad? You never even touched me.
But your hands My sister was stung by a bee in the paddock yesterday.
Maybe I made that bee sting you.
Did you make our father gamble away all our money last year too? Alexandra! I don't see why it's some big secret.
He should be ashamed.
We had to sell our horses and now we have to move.
Alexandra! Victoria! Where are your manners? (KNOCK AT DOOR) Father, are we moving? Why would you think that? The Owens are moving and you don't have any men working for you anymore and you don't have any money.
It might be taking a little longer than your mother would like, but I'm finishing the house, aren't I? Is this going to be my place forever? (SIGHS) Well, it'll always be your place because you've lived here, so you'll always be a part of it forever.
(RAIN PATTERS, THUNDER RUMBLES) (SNIFFLES) (INTRIGUING MUSIC) (GIRLS LAUGH) GIRL: Wait for me! GIRL: It's just like heaven.
(GIRL SQUEALS) Duck for cover! Cover!