Pretty Freekin Scary (2023) s01e13 Episode Script

1
Whoa! Slow down there.
We've got all weekend.
Scary always drinks fast
when she's nervous.
And drooling over someone
from a distance.
Scary, it's just Brian.
You don't have to act
all weird around him.
Frankie, hey.
Hey, 'Lic!
Hey, 'Lic?
I meant, "Hey, Erlic."
I had boba brain. It's a thing.
Wait a minute. Erlic and Brian?
I'm starting to feel like we're here
for more than just boba.
- What? No!
- Never!
It's your Boba-birthday!
Hooray!
And on this very special day
Bobas are free
No need to pay
Glittery Rainbow Bobas
All day, happy Boba-birthday! Hooray!
I want one of those.
Me too. The drink,
not the ridiculous song.
Good news.
You each get one on your birthdays.
Hey, when are your birthdays?
We don't celebrate birthdays
in the Underworld.
What? No, that is not gonna work.
We celebrate birthdays here.
So, I guess you're
gonna have to choose one for yourself.
Now, let's pick a date.
I don't want a birthday. I don't really
like being the center of attention.
But I love it!
I choose
Tomorrow!
I guess we can celebrate
your birthday tomorrow. Why not?
Yay! I can't wait for my song and boba.
And for whatever else happens.
Wait. Does a bakery
give you an extra cookie?
I got one last week.
But it wasn't your birthday.
They don't know that.
Pretty, you're missing the point.
Birthdays are about way more
than destroying your teeth.
They're also about traditions.
Everyone has one. Here, I'll show you.
Erlic, it's Pretty's birthday tomorrow.
Nice, dude. What are you gonna do?
I have no idea.
It's my first birthday
First time having a birthday,
not in Australia.
So I'm teaching him and Scary
about the different ways
people celebrate here.
Uh, what do you do?
I sit for a family portrait every year.
And if I'm able to stay still
all five hours,
my butler, Sebastian,
brings me a slice of cheesecake.
Someone else please go now.
Boba Bobby, what do you do?
Oh, I make my friends
throw me a surprise party every year.
And then I try to outdo my last year's
shocked face. Check this year's out.
Wow! That's good.
Thanks.
Hey, bro.
Bro, it's my birthday tomorrow.
Oh, bro. Happy almost birthday!
How do you celebrate yours?
Every year I get a new lacrosse stick,
and I name it.
I've got Little Catcher, Trapper,
Grabber. And this one's Timothy.
Please tell me
you don't sleep with your sticks.
No!
Nyx, what do you do?
Oh, I start every birthday
by reading my horoscope.
What's that?
It's a prediction about your future
based on when you were born.
You guys only
read your horoscopes on your birthday?
I read mine every day.
Today it said I'd meet my soulmate.
Oh
So, what do you do
on your birthday, Brian?
I measure my carbon footprint
and don't use anything disposable.
It's my gift to the universe.
Later, dudes.
I think your carbon footprint
has a crush on his carbon footprint.
I'll get it.
"Fold the block of butter
into the dough."
Have you ever seen
a block of butter, Martha?
It doesn't fold!
Uh, honey. The principal's here.
Oh, no! Which one of my kids did what?
Don't worry.
This isn't school related.
Oh, good!
I'll just be in the other room,
behaving myself.
Ah!
Well, if you're looking for Nyx,
the girls are still at the boba shop.
Oh, actually, she just wanted me
to drop off this astrology book.
I think she wants to show it to Frankie.
That girl is obsessed
with listening to the stars.
Wish she'd listen to her mother.
I hear ya.
I'm so glad the girls became friends.
So am I. You know,
ever since we moved here,
it's been hard for Nyx
to make new friends.
Me, too, if I'm being honest.
Shockingly, most people
don't want to hang out
with the woman
who gives their kids detention.
Oh, no! Oh, no! My croissants! Oh!
Sacrebleu! Oh!
Sorry, my high school French comes out
whenever I see pastries in distress.
Tomorrow's my first book club meeting
and it's custom for the newbie to host.
The founder, Deborah,
insists that we decorate
to match the spirit of the book,
and to transport the group
into the story through food.
You know, I know Deborah.
Her son Tyler's in my office a lot.
Well, this month's
book is Emeralds in Paris.
Hence, burnt croissants.
I have that book on my nightstand.
I use it as a coaster.
Well, that's fate!
Why don't you join us?
I mean, Deborah would be impressed
by someone who speaks French,
and it's a great way
for you to meet people.
What do you say?
Oui, oui!
I never turn down a free croissant.
Ooh, you know what? I gotta go.
I'll get the details when I pick up Nyx.
- Au revoir!
- Ciao!
Wrong language.
- I knew that.
I didn't know that.
Hey, Mom. Why are you reading a book?
You don't even go to school.
Ooh! Emeralds in Paris?
You know this book?
Do I know it?
I could recite it in my sleep.
We listened to the audio book
on our Thanksgiving road trip.
It was way better
than having to talk to each other.
So what's your favorite part?
Oh, you know the part
Under the Eiffel Tower.
You're funny,
Mrs. Ripp. In Paris, Texas?
Oh, you haven't read it, have you?
I've just been so busy burning pastries,
I just ran out of time.
Sounds like you need
to do your homework, Mom.
Like you always say,
"Your homework
isn't going to do itself."
Oh, that felt good.
Hey, guys, tomorrow's my birthday.
- It is?
- It is?
It is. And we need your help
teaching Pretty about our traditions.
Ooh, I've got a good one.
So, the day before my birthday,
I stay up till midnight to try to catch
a glimpse of the birthday fairy.
Dude, you know
there is no birthday fairy.
Yeah, totally.
Forgive me, birthday fairy.
Well, my tradition's even better.
Hold please.
The suspense is killing me.
Behold, the Remy Ripp Binder
of Dreamy Desserts.
I order one with my dad's credit card,
every year.
And I pretend like
I don't know. It's a game we play.
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum! Wait.
There's a pot of
warm chocolate you dip things into?
Yep, it's called fondue.
It's full of disgusting germs.
So, I fon-don't.
I love all these birthday traditions.
And you haven't even heard about
the best birthday tradition of them all.
Say it with me, kids.
Rippy the Clown!
- Oh.
- Oh, Rippy!
- Say what now?
- Who is that?
Rippy is a clown costume that's been
passed down in my family for years.
My dad wore it. His dad wore it.
One of these days,
I'm going to pass him down to you guys.
Rippy's totally vintage.
And straight up creepy.
For some reason,
our ancestors wanted to terrorize us.
Any chance he has
a slightly creepy catchphrase?
"It's Rippy time."
Yep, that'll scare kids.
Better go look for him.
I'm pretty sure I saw him
under your bed last week, Dad.
Thanks, son. You're the best!
He's really in the linen closet.
Let's go hide him
before my dad remembers.
Sorry, that clown
has freaked me out since birth.
He cannot be resurrected.
Here they are, my favorite tradition!
Birthday crowns!
Mom makes me a new one every year.
I have all 14 of mine in that box.
Okay, I'm not into sappy stuff,
but this is straight-up adorbs.
And I never say "adorbs."
I'm so confused. I can't decide
what to do for my birthday.
I like everything.
Oh, wait. I know!
I'll do a combo of all your traditions.
Except Rippy. I am not budging.
Now, where is that clown?
I know he's somewhere around here.
Hey, Dad, have you checked in the attic?
Mom stashes everything up there.
Oh, great idea! Thanks for the help.
Hey, I'm just a boy
who likes helping people.
Let's go throw him
in the washing machine.
Dad'll never look in there.
Okay.
Moving on, since Pretty's
birthday party's last minute,
we should keep it small.
Great! I just want my friends,
crazy loud music,
and to move these feet
all over the dance floor.
Ooh, I can't wait, Scary.
Can we pretend it's your birthday too?
No. Birthdays sound gross and stressful.
Come on. I'm not doing this without you.
Well, then you're not doing it.
Okay. I'm doing it without you.
Wendi, you have outdone yourself.
Ooh. This honkey-tonk hoedown
is gonna blow
those book clubbers' minds! Yeehaw!
Ow, oh (CLEARS THROAT) Hmm.
Hey, Mrs. Ripp. Remy wanted me to ask
if you have any garbage bags
big enough to fit a body?
I have too much going on
to even ask what that means.
So, under the sink in the kitchen.
Thanks. Ooh, cool boots!
But why does it look
like a hoedown in here?
Because you said
the book was set in Texas.
Oh, Mrs. Ripp,
have you still not read it?
It's about a French heiress
being conned by a studly oil rigger.
It's a little Texas,
a little French, and a lot of love.
What? Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Okay. No, this is fine. I'm fine.
I'll just add a few more
French decorations.
That'll impress Deborah.
Or maybe just read the book.
Hey, who is the adult here?
Okay. You can do this.
Page one.
Stay focused, Wendi.
You're going to Paris
Texas.
So, maybe it's just Paris.
Oh, I see you invited Erlic.
Interesting!
Yeah, because he has DJ equipment.
And fine, he's super cute.
What's his DJ name? DJ Crush?
Crushed ice.
Crushed ice. I forgot crushed Ice.
How did I forget crushed ice?
'Cause I always forget crushed ice.
Oh, crushed ice.
End of the line, Rippy.
How could you be afraid
of this funny nose and big smile?
It's not funny, it's creepy. And smelly.
And you haven't even heard
the laugh my dad does.
Gives me nightmares
and daymares about my nightmares.
Take it off!
Boys?
What's with all the screaming?
I'm sorry, Mrs. Ripp.
We were pretending
we were on a roller coaster.
How am I supposed to finish this book
with all these distractions?
Carson, I'm gonna need your help.
Way ahead of you, Mrs. Ripp.
I already put together some highlights.
Like when Beau crossed
his fingers and said, "I do."
What kind of garbage book is this?
You will not speak ill
of Emeralds in Paris.
Mrs. Ripp, I'll give you these cards
if I get first dibs on those boots.
I've been practicing my line dancing.
If you're a size six, they're yours.
I'm a size seven
but I've got a passion for fashion.
I'll make it work.
There you are.
I've been looking for you.
I need your help
with my birthday speech.
Oh, I didn't think it could get
any worse. You're gonna do a speech?
Yep. This is what I have so far.
I'd like to thank the Ripps
for giving me
a day that's just about me.
That's it?
What would you say?
I don't know. Uh, maybe, mention
that it's nice to feel included?
Ooh. That's good.
And that it makes you feel important.
And And
And being part of traditions
makes you feel loved and
And like family.
Wow, you're good at speeches, Scary.
Now, I appreciate my birthday even more.
I had no idea how much it mattered.
Yeah. Me neither.
Glad that's done.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm going to set out
milk and cookies for the birthday fairy.
Ooh, Mom.
The principal's here. You're in trouble.
Fake sick. It always saves me.
I heard that, Carson.
You're lucky I'm off duty.
So, that book's a real page-turner, huh?
Right? That scene where he crosses
his fingers and says, "I do". Masterful.
Nyx, your mom is here.
How in the world
did you fill these eclairs so perfectly?
Mmm, by calling the bakery
and having them do it.
Are we in The Upside Down?
Are our moms becoming friends?
Ew!
Really looking forward to coming over
tomorrow night for book club.
- Come on, Nyx.
- Bye.
Wait, what? Tomorrow night? Here?
But that's when
we're having Pretty's birthday party.
Pretty's birthday?
Why am I only hearing about this now?
I can't cancel book club, Frankie.
Deborah will ban me for eternity.
It's okay, Mrs. Ripp.
I can pick a new birthday.
I don't want Deborah to ban you
for eternity.
That's a long time.
Thanks for your understanding, Pretty.
And I promise
we will make your birthday special,
no matter what day it is.
This isn't fair!
Pretty's birthday
is supposed to mean something.
Like he's part of the family.
You can't just move
peoples' birthdays around.
That doesn't make him
feel included. Or loved.
And he deserves to meet Rippy!
That was weird.
Yeah. It's almost like she cares.
O-M-G, she cares!
Come on, Scary. Talk to me.
Pretty, can you come up here?
We need your help.
She's been in there since last night.
She even missed dad's
butter cookie pancakes.
Don't worry, I ate them.
Scary, it's me, Pretty.
I'm okay with moving my birthday.
Can you be okay with it too?
Please?
Scary, answer me!
Where's Scary?
Great. I've been talking
to an empty closet for 30 minutes.
Bobas are free
No need to pay
Glittery Rainbow
Bobas all day
Happy Boba-birthday
Hooray!
Hit me again.
I've already sung to Scary three times.
She's making me regret
instituting bottomless birthday bobas.
I think I'm gonna boba-lose it.
Three bobas? And two ripped napkins?
Scary, wanna talk about it?
I guess between hearing about
all the traditions and seeing Pretty
get even more excited than usual,
I realized maybe I did want a birthday.
But it doesn't matter anymore.
Your mom has her book club.
So, whatever.
Quick, we need a brainstorm.
What kind of things does Scary like?
She likes silence.
And listening to music
on her headphones.
And hanging out with Brian.
Fine. And Rippy the Clown.
I got it.
I know a way we could still celebrate
and stay out of Mom's way.
Pretty, can you distract Scary,
so we can get everything ready?
- On it.
- Remy, you come with me.
Let's be clear.
I don't like you and you don't like me.
But this is for Scary.
And stay out of my dreams.
Well, I've looked everywhere.
That's it. I give up.
Rippy's gone. We had some good times.
Hey, Dad. You, uh, seen my jacket?
I can't find it.
Now, son, what do I always tell you?
Check the most obvious place first.
Rippy!
I can't believe it.
I thought
I looked in there already.
Are you as excited as I am?
Totally.
Hey, guys.
I said the living room was off limits.
Oh, no. Get that clown out of here.
Fine. Your loss.
Outstanding job
fusing Texan and Parisian decor.
Country elegance
is such an under-appreciated aesthetic.
Mmm. It does have a certain
je ne sais quoi, doesn't it, Deborah?
Oh. And, have you
tried Wendi's famous homemade eclairs?
Ah! Tres magnifique.
Wendi, you will have to
share that recipe.
Oh, I wish I could,
but it's a family secret.
Well, ladies! Welcome, welcome!
Bonjour, bonjour.
I think it's time to begin.
Ah, Wendi, why don't we start
with your overall thoughts?
Sure. Sure. I just happened
to jot some notes down
that I'm having trouble reading.
Is that a doodle of a dragon?
Okay, um Emeralds in Paris
is, well,
a suspense-filled romantic thriller
that keeps you guessing.
The Snickering Sentinel gave it
four out of five stars.
Are you just reading
the blurb off the back?
No! No. I could not put this book down.
That really big ending was
Something.
Okay, I didn't read it!
Okay, I just, I got so focused
on "transporting you
into the story through food"
that I just ran out of time.
Oh, dear. I'm sorry.
I let this little charade
go on too long.
No one ever reads the book.
Except you, Jeanie.
Take the hint and find
a new club already.
It's just a little game
we play with our newbies.
Our club is really just
an excuse to gossip, dine and unwind.
I didn't read the book either.
Every time I picked it up,
I fell asleep.
Right? It worked better
than my weighted blanket.
Yes.
Why are we going around back?
Book club's in the living room.
So it's easier this way.
Surprise!
Nice shocked face.
Not as good as Boba Bobby's,
but pretty good.
It's a silent disco.
This is exactly
how I'd want to celebrate.
I love silence, and Pretty loves disco.
You know what's even better?
Celebrating traditions together.
Speaking of, I made these for you.
This is the best birthday ever!
It's Rippy time!
Rippy? Now, this is
the best birthday ever!
Happy birthday, best bro.
I got you a lacrosse stick.
I'm gonna name it "Dio Junior."
Bro, you're gonna make me cry.
Happy birthday, Scary!
Uh, since you're so far away from home,
I thought I would
bring Australia to you.
Aw, you're so cute.
I mean the koala bear's so cute.
Don't let him get rained on.
He's biodegradable.
Hey, I'm proud of you
for giving Dad back the costume.
Pretty and Scary are part of the family.
Plus, I've matured.
Being scared of clowns is for babies.
Never gets old.
Oh, look. Our moms
are getting their groove on.
I can't watch this.
Then stop watching and dance.
Turns out the book club
is just an excuse to party.
So, let's party!
What the
Hey, DJ, my channel changed.
Is this your way of asking me to dance?
Only if you're gonna say yes.
Where you go, I'll go too
It's only life if I'm
Livin' it with you
Every lifetime
And then we locked eyes
and the most romantic song
played on our headphones!
Oh, I hate how much I love this.
It's pretty sappy. Tell us more!
The equipment's all packed up.
Thanks again for coming to the rescue.
Anything for you.
Uh, and Pretty and Scary.
I'm gonna go use the restroom.
Oh, someone's in there,
but you can use the one upstairs.
Second door on the left.
Thanks for doing all this
for me, Frankie.
Well, get used to it.
It's happening again next year.
Frankie, can you come up here?
He must be lost. Be right back.
Hey, don't you know it's bad manners
to go sneaking around someone's room?
Wait, what's wrong?
Erlic, it's not what you think.
I trusted you.
I thought you were different.
But you're just like
everyone else in this town.
Using me. For what?
'Cause I'm a Snickering?
You want access to my great-grandfather?
I thought
you actually liked me for me.
I do! I really do.
Look, I don't know
what your plan is with all this,
but I don't want anything
to do with it. Or you.
Wait, I can explain.
I don't think you can.