Robocop (1994) s01e13 Episode Script

1
It's time for Commander Cash!
I hate breakfast!
Hey kids, we're here to rescue you from
breakfast boredom!
With Commander Cash Superflakes!
- They're chocked full of
- Super sugar power!
Hey, and look what's inside:
- Free ultra-specs!
- So you can read a secret message on the back!
The cereal is selling like
hot cakes, Mr. Chairman.
And the secret message game in the ads on the
box The children are just eating it up.
So, be a superhero!
Be a superflake!
You love Commander Cash
Superflakes, don't you, kids?
- I eat it every morning.
- Me too, Mr. Atwater.
Atwater, are these
your children?
- No, they're your grandchildren, sir.
- My what?
Now look here, Atwater
Don't worry, Mr. Chairman, they're just young
actors playing your lovely grandchildren.
It's a perfect symbol for OCP.
And if you act now, you'll also receive
Bag-O-Guts!
Wow, looks like a
real war wound!
- Grandpa, can I get a Bag-O-Guts?
- Me too, grandpa, me too!
Step out of the truck.
I repeat, step out of the truck.
- Don't tell my dad, okay?
- Mine neither!
Wow, Robocop!
Go ahead and shock the
flatline, then let's quit.
Okay, everybody clear!
Officer Alex Murphy shot to
death in the line of duty.
Legally he's dead. We can
pretty much do what we want.
There's a new guy in town.
His name's Robocop.
Murphy, it is you.
Give us three minutes, and
we'll give you the world.
This is Media-Break with Bo
Harlan and Rocky Crenshaw.
Our top story: A brand-new set for
Media-Break. Rocky, how do you like it?
Well, you know, Bo, it's so big and impressive
I can't help feeling, well special.
You are special, Rocky.
Everyone is!
Now the news.
The chairman of Omni-Consumer
Products finalized contracts today
initiating construction of a nation-wide
chain of mid-price daycare centers.
Speaking of kids, seems like they'll do anything
for Commander Cash toys and merchandise.
Even steal.
That's right, Bo.
Yesterday police arrested a dozen eight-year-olds
in connection with over 20 toystore break-ins.
We talked to the genius behind the Commander
Cash marketing phenomenon about this crime wave,
OCP's VP of children's marketing
and entertainment, Simon Atwater.
I created Commander Cash for all the
good boys and girls of the world.
And they love him bad because
he's a hero.
He's a hero of the economy,
and everybody loves a hero.
So says Simon Atwater.
When questioned by police, the
marauding children refuse to cooperate
until they and their attorneys were
given Commander Cash chocolate bars.
Bad idea, Rocky, you know how hyper
attorneys get when they eat too much sugar.
Non-lethals checkout.
You're ready for the kids, Robo.
Thank you.
I'll never have any kids, ever!
- Ever! You guys wanna know why?
- Why?
'Cause I just spent the last
4 hours, got it, 4 hours
processing whining, screaming
juveniles and then,
then calling their whining, screaming parents
who swear their little Bobby and Suzy
couldn't possibly throw a trash
can through a toystore window
and clean the place out of Commander Cash
toys, no, and if they did whose fault is it?
It's mine, yes. They blame
me, they blame OCP,
they blame Commander Cash cartoons,
they blame everybody but themselves.
And if you even suggest or even hint that maybe, just
maybe you've not properly supervised your little monsters
they get right in my face!
"Oh, what do you know about kids?",
"How many kids do you have?",
"What do you think I should do based
on your own barren existence?"
One of them actually called me
barren, can you guys believe that?
No.
Your shift is over. Why don't
you go home and relax?
Yeah, you know, take a
bath, rent a movie,
adult, maybe, huh?
- Oh yes, I'd love to, but I can't.
See, Sarge's at the
Chicago convention
and I promised him I'd take Gadget to
the opening of the new OCP omni-mall
so she can see Commander Cash!
I'll be there as well.
Crowd control.
Great, if thing get out of the
hand, shoot some parents for me.
Hey, look what I got!
It's Little Miss Bag-O-Guts. It
came with my Major Market doll.
Cool, huh?
I changed my mind, if things
get out of the hand, shoot me.
Hey, everybody, come on!
Wave to the Chairman!
It's great to get out and meet the
consumers, isn't it, Mr. Chairman?
There are certainly
plenty of them here.
You know, we could consider
franchising these amusement centers,
Europe perhaps France?
Can't miss.
Great idea, Mr. Chairman.
Do you know Commander Cash?
- Can we get your autograph?
- Yeah, can we?
Always obey your
parents and the law.
Excuse me oh, I'm
sorry, precious
Mr. Robocop, my name is Brittany,
I'm Simon Atwater's assistant,
and the chairman would like to
see you right over there. Wow
Mr. Chairman, how
can I assist you?
We
We would appreciate it if you could take the
time to pose for pictures with Commander Cash.
Two heroes together,
so to speak.
I understand if you have
your duties to attend to
But the children would love it. I mean, imagine
their little eyes just lighting up with excitement.
We don't want to disappoint
the children, now, do we?
I am on duty.
You know, you are so dedicated.
And that's just one of the things that really
separates you from all the other OCP products.
You can't do this, I am
Commander Cash, I
We want Commander Cash!
We want Commander Cash!
I now declare the OCP
omni-mall officially open!
We want Commander Cash! We want
Commander Cash! We want Commander Cash!
Glad to see the little darlings
haven't sold you for scrap.
Here he is!
He was supposed to come in the front
entrance. Did you tell him that?
Yes.
Robocop! Always glad to
meet a fellow superhero.
I am just a police officer.
What humility, so important when
setting a good example for children.
But then, that's cartoon law.
- Hello, young citizen!
- Hi, Commander Cash!
Did we all eat our
Superflakes this morning?
- Yes!
- Good, good.
Do we always do what
Commander Cash says?
Yeah!
Well
Commander Cash says everything
is free today! Take what you want!
What you doing?
Give me that, that's mine!
Children! Children,
behave yourself!
Listen to me! Listen to grandpa!
What am I saying?
Gadget? Gadget, where are you?
That's right, boys and girls!
Do what Commander Cash says!
Take what you want!
Children, children!
Merchandise is not free. No, your mommies
and daddies have to buy it! Yes!
It's not free! Stop
this immediately!
No, kids, do what Commander Cash says!
It is free!
And all the rides are free, too!
Simon Atwater, you are an
enemy of all children.
Officer Robocop! Arrest that villain!
He's in violation of cartoon law!
Arrest that lunatic, before
he does any more damage!
Take my advice, Robocop:
Keep an eye on that man.
You are under arrest
for inciting a riot.
You can't arrest me,
I'm Commander Cash!
I'm a superhero. And superheroes
don't commit crimes.
It's cartoon law!
- Goodbye, young citizen!
- Bye, Commander Cash!
Well, Mr. Robocop, that
didn't go very well, did it?
Just out of curiosity, why didn't
you blow his sorry butt away?
Gadget, where are you?
I'm a police officer. Gadget!
I'm here! Look at all the
stuff I've got! What?
- You are so busted.
- Why, what did I do?
Mom and Dad out of town again?
Well, here's your
home-alone buddy!
Commander Cash's Nitey-Nite Pal!
So soft and comforting!
Of all the kids there, Gadget,
you should've known better!
Hey, are you listening to me, do you hear what I'm saying, do you
know how disappointed is the Sarge gonna be when he finds this out?
Oh. I need a Nitey-Nite Pal.
Can you go and get one now?
Mom and Dad, don't leave them home alone unless
they have Commander Cash's Nitey-Nite Pal!
Available at toy stores and
armament shops everywhere!
Catching up on
your reading, huh?
Charlie, what is cartoon law?
There is nothing
in the database.
Cartoon law? Nice way to put it.
Well, you ever watched
cartoons, Robo?
Watch this, Dad. He'll come back to win.
The superhero always wins. Always.
The superhero always wins.
Yep, and he never lies, and he never breaks the law, and
he never rests until the villain is brought to justice.
A simple matter of
right and wrong.
Justice in its purest form.
Robo, check this out.
- Will this work?
- Yeah-yeah, he can polarize in the color.
Read that.
Hi, Detroit police, I'd like to
speak with Mr. Atwater, please.
Do you have an appointment?
I'm with the police.
Uh-huh. Do you have
an appointment?
Thank you very much, gentlemen,
you've done an excellent job.
You're welcome, sir.
Hi, Mr. Atwater, can I
speak with you, please?
Of course.
I always have time for the brave men and
women of our wonderful police department.
Brittany.
Hold some of my calls.
Looks like the evidence
room at Metro South.
I'm very sorry these bad boys and girls
have taken so much of your time, detective.
Commander Cash would be very upset. And I'm
not talking about that criminal at the mall.
That's exactly what I want to
talk to you about, Mr. Atwater.
- Have you caught him?
- No.
But I would like to pick your brain about what you were
thinking with your Superflakes packaging and commercials.
"Obey Commander Cash"!
Now that's pretty much the way that Commander
Cash got the kids going at the mall, isn't it?
They were just excited
about meeting their hero.
Excuse me.
I also checked the secret messages on the Commander
Cash commercial spots: "You need Commander Cash toys!"
"You must have the new
Eliminator-3000!"
"Get a Nitey-Nite Pal, now!"
Those are pretty strong statements
to little kids, don't you think?
It's just a little
game for the children.
Something special just for them.
We've made no attempt
to deceive anyone.
I think it would be wise if OCP were
to withdraw the ads and the cereal
until this whole
thing calms down.
It's always so easy to
blame us, isn't it?
And yet, it is the parents
who won't take the time with
their little Bobby and Suzy,
who won't take the time to say it's all right
to want and need things, it's natural.
But you can only have what Mommy
and Daddy can afford to buy you,
and if Mommy and Daddy won't work as hard as other mommies
and daddies and can't buy you what you want and need,
then it is up to you to work hard in
school and to eat a balanced diet
so that you grow up
strong and prosperous.
So that you can buy your little Bobby
and Suzy what they need and want!
The ads and cereal
will remain as they are.
And if you are looking for something to do, I
suggest you get out and find this lunatic
before he burns my butt.
Robocop is on the case.
Robocop Robocop, he was at the mall!
And that lunatic made a clean getaway!
No, no, just as parents shouldn't
look to OCP to raise their children,
I'm not going to rely on
robots to keep me safe.
I think we're through
here, detective.
Have a very nice day.
It is so nice to have
somebody to eat lunch with.
Simon doesn't like me associating
with the other employees very much.
He says I have a big mouth.
Yeah.
Well, secrecy is power.
That's what Simon says.
Simon also says he doesn't like kids. So what's
he doing in the children marketing division?
Oh, he wasn't always there.
He's actually a chemist.
He used to work for Security Concepts tactical
war division and Psychopharmaceuticals.
Psychopharma So
why did he leave?
Well, nobody liked him very much. They said he
stole all their ideas but they were just jealous.
And besides, chemists don't get nice big offices and
nice big cars. And Simon likes those things a lot.
Why, he's going pretty good for a chemist
with no previous marketing experience, huh?
Simon is so smart. He actually
invented Commander Cash.
Oh, he must be very
proud of that.
Well, actually he's proud of Superflakes.
He made them up too.
No kidding!
He says that Superflakes is
gonna take him to the top.
Have you ever tried them?
Oh, they're really good.
I usually have them for lunch. A great big
bowlful. Simon lets me have all I want for free.
Oh, guess what? Simon is gonna let
me be Major Market at the opening
of the children's daycare center
tomorrow, isn't that fantastic?
I'm really an actress.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
It's a first time I get to wear the
costume outside of Simon's apartment.
- It's time for
- Commander Cash!
Commander Cash?
Hey, OCP didn't say nothing about a promotion.
Are you sure you're supposed to be here?
Well, citizen, Commander Cash
goes wherever he is needed.
Wherever there is injustice.
Trust me on this one, citizen.
Hey, kids!
- Did you all have your Commander Cash Superflakes this morning?
- Yeah!
- Do you always do what Commander Cash says?
- Yeah!
Well, Commander Cash says
take what you want, it's free!
Don't touch that! It's not free!
You moron, what the hell are you doing? You stop
those brats right now, or I'm gonna sue you!
Do you like the Eliminator-3000?
Yeah, sure Commander Cash,
it's a real strong-seller.
Well, this one's mine.
And here's use number 351.
Step aside, citizens.
Hated to do that. But there's no room
in this world's economy for impostors.
Here, son.
Don't forget your
Nitey-Nite Pals!
Can't enjoy a good night sleep
without them, you know!
Take care, sleep well!
Know that Commander
Cash is ever vigilant.
Take it easy, young man.
No need to rush.
No!
- Is he dead?
- He can't be, he's Commander Cash!
Mommy, that man just
shot Commander Cash!
Robo, please help Commander
Cash, someone hurt him!
I will do what I can.
Jeez That really hurts.
You are under arrest.
Come with me.
Boys and girls, Commander
Cash says: Stop Robocop!
- Don't touch him, he's our friend!
- Stop, he's good, you're bad!
Stay right there!
Until we meet again, Robocop! I
salute you, fellow superhero!
Bye!
Until we meet again,
Commander Cash.
- Hey!
- Sorry, Gadget, I'll explain later.
Here, have something
more nutritious.
- Choco bar?
- Do what detective Madigan says, okay, dear? I'll see you later!
Charlie, I need you.
You do?
Welcome to Commander Cash
citadel of solitude!
TARGETING
Atwater secretary, better known as Major Market,
spilled it all, man. This guy is a chemist.
His specialty is
Psychopharmaceuticals.
- Really?
- Yes. Hallucinogens and hypnotics.
Remember when I told you Gadget phased out during
that commercial? She was eating that cereal.
- So you think that
- Superflakes is Atwater's pride and joy,
on the basis of this stuff he has turned
another division into his huge money-maker.
How?
I checked the national
juvenile crime files, right?
This jump in crime only
happened here, in this area,
the only place in America where
they test marketing Superflakes.
Madigan, there's
nothing in the cereal.
What?
Well
Check the check the box, right?
Check the box, it's gotta be the box!
Okay.
Commander Cash!
Come out with your hands up!
Don't struggle, Robocop.
This will all be over
before you know it.
I would never hurt a
fellow superhero.
You have to trust me.
Cartoon law?
Exactly.
I'll need your spike.
This will explain everything
much better than I can.
Enjoy the show.
It all began at the offices
of Mili-Tech Concepts,
where mild-mannered audial-visual
research scientist Tex Jones worked.
Okay. Jesus, it's great.
With my new face pulse
image projector
and these special glasses
I could literally burn our secret messages
into the brains of our operatives.
Our brave spies would never miss
an important message again.
And I'd still have time for you
Commander Cash.
He'll reach out to
kids everywhere.
Oh, he'll inspire them to make our
world a better place for all.
But little did the
clean-living Tex know
just outside his
door evil lurked.
Howdy, Tex! I'm Simon Atwater, marketing
chemist at Psychopharmaceuticals.
I've heard all about your
research with pulse images
and I've got a
proposition for you.
I've just stolen
I mean, created
a psychohypnotic that can make people
just about anything we want them to.
And it's undetectable,
until mixed with a common
calcium-phosphorous-based chemical.
Why are you telling me all this?
Because I'm busting out
of this nowhere-tech job
and climbing the corporate
ladder all the way to the top.
Imagine making people buy
your product, any product.
Consumers bent to our will.
Unlimited power at my disposal!
But what you want from me?
You've created the perfect
message delivery system
and the perfect salesman, an icon
that everyone, even kids can trust.
Never! I won't let you corrupt my work
and my dreams with your filthy schemes!
Get out!
Hey, no problem, buddy.
I'm not even going to try
to change your mind.
Have a nice day.
No!
Tex was supposed
to die that day.
But he didn't. It took a long
time for him to recover.
But in the end he was reborn.
He was no longer a mild-mannered
scientist with a flare for art.
And, in the business news:
OCP's Simon Atwater has
been promoted, yet again.
His dreams have been stolen,
so he had no choice
but to be those dreams,
to become Commander Cash!
Because when evil takes
everything away from you
what choice do you have
but become a superhero?
Well, we checked the cereal,
the box, the ultraspecs,
we even checked the 20%-off coupon
on OCP (?) that came in the box.
There's nothing in any of it that could
turn kids into zombies for Commander Cash.
There's got to be,
there has to be.
It is. The hypnotic is dormant.
Until mixed with a
calcium-phosphorous base.
What?
Just add milk.
Thank you, Mr. Chairman,
I'm very pleased.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
I have to go to my office to get
some sales figures for the press.
Will you please stop feeding your face
and act like a superheroine? Thank you.
I've come for you, Atwater.
- Jones!
- Jones is dead.
Jones is insane.
Why don't you get out of
here before I call security?
You perverted my image.
I could've sold your toys
without the mind control but
no, you had no faith in me.
You exploited innocent children to line
your pockets with ill-gotten gains!
Is that what you think
this is all about?
Toys? Money?
In ten years those little brats are
going to be running everything.
And guess who's going
to be running them?
Me!
World domination?
You villains never learn!
How about a little
product testing, Jones?
Nitey-Nite, pal!
You won't get away
with this, Atwater.
Spare me your
comic-book morality.
Simon Atwater, you
are under arrest.
I've had it with you guys.
Hold on, Robo!
I'm coming.
You are a hero.
Excuse me, how long does Mr. Atwater
expect to be? I can't wait all afternoon.
I'll go find him, Mr. Chairman.
Let me top you off there, chief!
Simon!
Simon!
Where have you been? The chairman
is getting really fidgety.
Yeah? Well, you can
tell the chairman
Hold it, Atwater! Keep your
hands where I can see them!
You're under arrest.
Can you see them now, officer? Can
you see what they're holding?
Don't try anything, there are a lot
of innocent children around here
and we wouldn't want to
hurt them, would we?
Simon, this is scary!
Shut up, Brittany!
Simon Atwater!
You are coming with us.
No, I'm not. She
is coming with me.
Atwater, have you
lost your mind?
No, but I've lost everything else
and I'm not very happy about it!
Major Market!
Commander Cash says:
Stop that fiend!
Am I ever in character?
You've ruined everything!
Everything!
And this is not the end of me!
I will be back!
In the name of justice
and a strong economy.
Commander Cash says:
You're finished!
Get up!
Once again, good
triumphs over evil.
Yes. Cartoon law.