Roommates s01e13 Episode Script

We have got to stop this.
- We're gonna get caught.
- What's the big deal? Are you kidding? Katie and I make endless fun of the girls you sleep with - and I don't want to be one of them.
- No.
- You're nothing like any of them.
- Really? Totally, babe.
You're so full of crap.
But it works.
- Did you hear that? - Must have been the neighbors.
They have been making noise all morning! Shut up! Anyway, I made pancakes.
Are you in? I'm starving.
See ya.
Don't you want to know for David? Sure.
I got to the lobby where I spoke to a very confusing doorman.
- There's somehing happened - Great story.
Really.
We'll talk later.
I'm really busy.
Doing what? I'm busy in my head.
I'm head busy.
Here's the whipped cream.
Why is it in here? I binge At night.
Don't worry, i'm addressing it.
Good.
We haven't done it down here yet.
It's Mark again.
As I've said before Not sure how many messages I've left.
But Last night was awesome.
I'm calling back a lot cause apparently, your answering thingy thinks I'm long-winded because it keeps cutting me And so, in closing, I thought if you're around, we could go down the seaport, take a romantic walk, and then get crabs.
We could eat crabs Not get crabs, eat crabs.
It's on me.
On me.
Not on me I'm paying.
I'll pay.
Hard to believe she's not calling you back.
How's life? How's the acting going? Any auditions this week? Are you seeing Jackie again? The acting's a little slow right now.
And I'm having a little trouble getting a hold of Jackie.
That's too bad.
She's so nice and tall and pretty.
You can't force a tall pretty girl to call you back.
And how are things at work, Katie? And with David? Just lovely.
Except we have new people at work and it's been weird.
Don't you think so? - I'm sorry, what? - That it's just been a little weird.
- I'm sorry, where? - At work.
Everything is how it's always been.
Both here and at work.
- What has gotten into you this morning? - No one has gotten into me.
- What? - What? I think we should all go get crabs.
-- Room A-Team -- VO: Le père Noël et pluch VF: pluch, sehderik, spirit et yeko Man, can I talk to you? Everything is so weird right now.
You're in luck.
I'm an expert in weird.
At least that's what three out of five therapists have told me.
I don't know where I am with Katie.
We kissed and then nothing happened.
I know she has feelings for David, but I'm not sure they've slept together.
- And now there's Jackie.
- Jackie is really hot.
So if you don't mind, she's going in the old mental rotation.
Yes.
I do mind.
Jackie's amazing.
We had a great time together.
We reconnected.
It felt like we picked up right where we left off.
- But now she won't call me back.
- But did you close the deal? Then she's free to go in my rotation.
There are millions of hot girls.
Jackie's mine.
I can't control who goes in the rotation.
It could be meter maids or cartoons Kyle's mom from South Park Come to pa! God.
Cut it out.
I don't want to let an other great girl slip through my fingers, but if I keep calling Jackie, I'm afraid she's gonna get a restraing order.
Don't worry.
Those run out.
It's simple.
Think of what you would have done for Katie if you hadn't been such a big chicken and do it for Jackie.
That's a great idea, Thom.
Ideas are a numbers game Eventually you have a good one.
Kyle's mom from South Park? How could you? You probably want to take this out on me physically? No, I don't.
Looks like Thom and I are over.
I hope there's someone who could help me learn to love again.
Good luck with that.
There's that noise again! - I didn't hear it that time.
- Shut up! You must be really tired It's middle of day and you're in bed.
I'm just taking a little catnap.
So I've been thinking about it and I know what I'm gonna do.
I'm going over to David's and this time I'm going in.
Good for you.
Tell me all about it when you get back.
- Don't you want to know why? - No.
I'm so sleepy.
Those damn noisy neighbors kept me up last night.
Plus, and I don't mean to pry, but the bingeing can't help.
I mean, whipped cream is pure sugar.
No wonder you're tired.
- What do you think I should wear? - I don't know.
I'm so sleepy.
- I look for something in your closet.
- No! What? That's where I hide my night food.
I'm so ashamed.
We're gonna get you through this.
What's up, Jackie? Starting to get a little concerned.
Just want to make sure you're OK.
If you're alive, call me back.
And if you're not, by this point i'm probably a suspect.
So call me back.
Bye.
For god's sake.
Stop calling Jackie and just go over there.
- You really think I should? - I don't know what you're waiting for.
- Katie's already over at David's.
- Katie went to david's? - Where are you going? - I'm gonna stop being a chicken.
Tou weren't supposed to reveal that about Katie and David.
- Why not? - Because you overheard it.
If he says something, she'll wonder how he found out.
- Are you mad? - I'm mad! - Good.
- Dear.
Look who it is Miss talks-a-lot.
- I brought you muffins.
- Thank you.
Most doormen prefer money, but thank you.
- What are these for? - For listening to me last night.
Your job's hard enough without crazy girl going on about her personal life.
I'm sure you have plenty of problems you'd like to share with people.
- Actually, my daughter - The thing is i'm going for it.
I want you to ring David and tell him the love train has arrived.
All aboard the love train! Are you sure? Last time, you were all torn between this Mark and David.
- You got a picture of Mark? - No.
It's better to see who we talk about.
I'm shooting in the dark without a picture.
Mark could be butt-ugly.
He's not.
But it doesn't matter, he's been calling Jackie constantly.
- Who's Jackie? - Pretty ex who won't call him back.
Sounds out of his league.
Of course, - I wouldn't know without a picture.
- Get this She's an astronomer.
They're known sluts.
You know what? I'm done thinking.
David is the one for me.
Ring him.
Now.
Ring him.
- Sorry, this is Jennifer.
- Nice to meet you.
I'll wait for you outside.
I'll Miss you.
You're probably wondering why I'm here.
And that is because, I brought you some muffins.
I know what a big bear you are without your morning muffin.
What's up? Can I talk to you for a minute? Not as my boss, but as the guy who said he'd wait for me and then didn't? You know I like you but I couldn't wait around forever.
Was it forever already? I thought it was still kinda this week.
Can we do this some other time? Jennifer's out there, missing me.
She's right there.
You can see her through the glass.
How can she be missing you? Look, I'm sorry.
I really am.
It's just our timing's just off, that's all.
See you Monday.
Thanks for trying to help.
Gonna bring me a picture of Mark? Why? They won't let me have a little tv here.
Your life is all I have.
You're here.
So glad you're not dead.
I owe you like Sorry about that.
These are for you.
Thanks.
So why didn't you return my calls? It's complicated.
I just felt like things were going a little fast for me.
- I need to slow it down a little.
- I love slow things.
When I ran track in high school, I lost every single race.
Mind if I slowly come in? It's probably better if you don't.
That was amazing.
Thanks.
Really great.
I'm kind of surprised myself.
I have to see you again.
See, I didn't expect anything like this to happen.
So what I'm about to say might sound a little crazy.
I get it You like me.
I like you too.
I do like you, but there's one other thing.
I'm getting married.
To me? Married?! Why would you sleep with me if you're getting married? This is your fault! My fault? You're saying I'm that irresistible? I know for a fact that's not true.
You were so persistent.
You wore me down.
You don't leave a girl - and not know what that leads to.
- I am so conflicted.
I slept with an engaged girl, but I know now phone stalking works.
So who's this guy you're so obviously in love with? His name is Joel Mackey.
Joel Mackey? You're gonna be Jackie Mackey? You think I haven't heard that before? I'm keeping my maiden name, okay? - You show up back in my life - You invited me! Before I knew about your rhyming future name.
Who's doing your wedding invitations, Dr.
Seuss? Stop yelling at me.
I can't cry.
I'm taking pictures tomorrow.
- It's tomorrow?! - I know! And I have to say things like "love" and "honor" and "cherish" because words like "awful" and "cheating" and "whore" aren't in wedding vows.
I'm sorry, but how am I supposed to feel? Because here's the thing, I do have feelings for you.
And I never thought anyone could make me stop thinking about Katie for more than five minutes.
But you did.
And up until a few minutes ago, that meant something.
I should wear pants on the subway.
Kinda busy.
You're not gonna believe this.
Jackie is getting married.
- She is? - Some guy named Joel Mackey.
Jackie Mackey? I don't know what I was thinking.
Every time I make a move or I don't make a move or I think about a girl, something explodes and it hurts.
I'm done.
Done! And the next time you see me making a move on a girl, glue my ass to an easy chair, 'cause I'm not moving.
Sleep with an engaged girl! I'm done! Hope, you in there? Hope, that you? Who's in the shower? Me I need to talk.
I'm so busy in my head! I made a total fool of myself with David.
I went over there and he was with another girl.
Sweetie, I am so sorry.
God, I waited too long to make up my mind.
Damn it, I missed my freaking chance.
You know what I did? I flushed my chance with David.
Flush! I'm sorry, Hope.
- Listen, Lames - Don't just barge in.
- Hope is in the shower.
- James is in the shower.
- No, I just spoke to Hope.
- I talked to James like a second ago.
- Mark, can you hand me a towel? - Me too.
This is freakin' awesome.
You and James? James! And you?! How long have you been doing James? Filthy and clean at the same time.
Stop it, Mark.
It started after the party.
With James.
Can I see you in my office, please? You dirty dog! Dipped your toe in the roommate lake.
Dipped more than my toe.
Why didn't you tell me you were having sex with James? I was embarrassed.
I became a member of the James gang.
We said we'd never do that! Don't make fun of me like we do his girlfriends.
- You're nothing like them.
- Really? I know you're lying, but I don't care.
- Is it that good? - It's that good! So no bingeing.
And the whipped cream You are a filthy girl! I know! And with James.
So do you like him? I mean, is there a future here? I don't know.
We don't really talk.
It's awesome.
- So are you okay about David? - Don't you try to change the subject.
Thanks for asking.
You know what's weird? I'm actually relieved.
- Relieved? - The whole thing just never felt right.
And, yeah, I was hurt when he was with another girl, but there's a reason why I didn't take my shot with David.
One tall, goofy, sneakily-handsome reason.
But now he's all hung up on Jackie.
Get this, jackie's engaged.
Shut up! - I swear.
- So she's off the table.
That mean Mark's into me? Has James said anything.
Again, we don't really talk.
I know one person who know for sure, and luckily he has a crush on you.
Anybody but him.
- We should talk.
- Hope At my place.
- I have a question about Mark.
- I know everything about him.
Favorite colour: green; hates corn; slow for his size.
In high school when he ran track, he lost every race.
Good.
Then you know the answer to this.
Does Mark have feelings for Katie? I have no idea about that.
Right.
Of course.
Still, if you had to guess? The thought of Mark liking Katie is totally crazy and ridiculous.
It's "cradiculous".
Is it, Thom? Is it? I have nothing more to say on the subject.
He loves her! He's always loved her.
It's the reason he moved in with you.
- Mark loves you.
- What? Thom cracked.
Mark loves you and he has for a long time.
It's the only reason he moved in here.
Shut up! I swear.
I think Mark is the reason it didn't happen with David.
Mark is your meant-to-be.
- This is my moment.
- This is your moment.
- How do I look for my moment? - You can use a little - What?! - You look great.
So what you doing? I got something in my back tooth, it's driving me nuts.
I hate that too.
I was wondering, do you want to go grab a drink and talk at the bar, just me and you? Just talking? Us? Grab a drink and talking? Yeah, totally.
- Great.
- Let's go.
I left my fiance at the altar.
Mark, I got big news: Hope came over to my apartment.
But this could be big too.