Rugrats (1991) s01e13 Episode Script

[ gasps]
THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
VROOM. VROOM. VROOM.
CYNTHIA, EVERYBODY WANTS TO PLAY
WITH YOU, BUT ONLY IGET TO.
OH, CUPCAKE?
YES, DADDY?
BE A GOOD GIRL AND OBEY
UNCLE STU AND AUNT DIDI.
I WILL, DADDY.
THIS IS NO TROUBLE?
HECK NO, DREW.
ANGELICA WANTSTO GO.
TOMMY WILL HAVE MORE FUN
AT THE GRAND CANYON
WITH A PLAYMATE ALONG.
WE HAVE TO SIT IN A CAR
AND TAKE CARE OF A LITTLE BABY
ALL THE WAY
TO THE GRAND CANYON.
ICK!
ANGELICA?
WHAT?
WHAT'S THE GRAHAM CANYON?
NOT GRAHAMCANYON--
GRANDCANYON.
DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING?
AUNT DIDI?
DON'T WORRY, DREW.
IT WILL BE FINE.
AUNT DIDI!!
[ gasping]
WHAT'S THE GRAND CANYON?
IT'S AN ENORMOUS, BIG PLACE
WITH RED WALLS
AND A LITTLE WATER
IN THE MIDDLE.
WHEN WE GET THERE
WE'LL RIDE DONKEYS
TO THE BOTTOM!
OH.
EVERYWHERE AN OINK, OINK
OLD MacDONALD HAD A FARM
E-I-E-I-O!
OH, IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL
OUT HERE.
ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL,
TOMMY?
Stu:
TOMMY'S A LUCKY GUY
TO BE SEEING THE WORLD
AT HIS AGE.
EVERYBODY WANTS TO DRESS YOU
FOR THE PARTY, CYNTHIA, BUT I
UH, ANGELICA?
WHAT, DRIBBLE-FACE?
IS THIS THE GRAHAM CANYON?
NO, DUMMY.
CYNTHIA, LET'S START
A CLUB CALLED
"THE CLUB FOR ALL PEOPLE
WHOSE NAME ISN'T TOMMY."
ANGELICA?
WHAT?
HOW MUCH FURTHER?
A LOTFARTHER.
YOU HEARD ME, CYNTHIA.
YOU'RE CRANKY.
YOU NEED A NAP.
TAPE A NAP!
HMM I KNOW A GAME
EVEN YOU CAN PLAY, TOMMY.
Didi and Stu:
DINAH, WON'T YOU
BLOW YOUR HORN? ♪
LET'S COLOR WITH MARKERS!
WE DON'T HAVE
A COLORING BOOK.
DINAH, WON'T YOU
BLOW YOUR HORN? ♪
HOW ABOUT THIS?
DINAH, WON'T YOU BLOW
DINAH, WON'T YOU
BLOW YOUR HORN? ♪
Didi:
SOMEONE'S IN THE KITCHEN
WITH DINAH ♪
SOMEONE'S IN THE KITCHEN,
I KNOW ♪
SOMEONE'S IN THE KITCHEN
WITH DINAH ♪
[ Tommy grunting]
Didi, Stu:
STRUMMIN' ON THE OLD BANJO.
[ humming]
Didi:
CAMPTOWN RACETRACK
FIVE MILES LONG ♪
ALL THE DO-DAH DAY
NOW I NEED PURPLE.
Didi:
GOIN' TO RUN ALL DAY.
SING ALONG!
DEE, WOULD YOU
CHECK THE MAP?
THE GRAND CANYON TURNOFF
IS SOON.
ALREADY?
IT'S A LITTLE AFTER ARIZONA.
THAT WAS AN HOUR AGO.
I'D BETTER LOOK.
HMM
[ whistling]
AN HOUR PAST ARIZONA
WE MUST BE HERE.
OH!
WELL, THERE'S
MOUNT FOOTSTOOL
AND THERE'S
THE DEVIL'S ARMCHAIR.
THEN WE WANT TO TURN
RIGHT HERE.
[ tires screech to a stop]
Didi:
SHE'LL BE COMIN' ROUND
THE MOUNTAIN WHEN SHE COMES ♪
SHE'LL BE COMIN' ROUND
THE MOUNTAIN WHEN SHE COMES ♪
SHE'LL BE COMIN' ROUND
THE MOUNTAIN ♪
HA HA, HA HA HA
I GET TO HAVE SOME GUM.
YUM YUM.
YOU DON'T GET ANY
'CAUSE YOU'RE A BABY.
YOU'D JUST SWALLOW IT.
DID WE TAKE A WRONG TURN?
HOW? IT WAS THERE
ON THE MAP.
[ loud crash]
OH, NO
[ engine won't turn over]
OH, NO!
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT,
TOMMY, ANGELICA?
DID YOU WRECK THE CAR?
LET'S NOT PANIC.
EVERYONE'S FINE.
I'LL JUST GET OU
AND HAVE A LOOK.
[ birds screeching]
[ spitting]
YEAH, LOOKS LIKE
WE CAUGHT US
ANOTHER CUSTOMER, EDDY.
YEP.
TOLD YOU THAT CHUCKHOLE
WAS A GOOD IDEA.
IF YOU HADN'T
A'GONE AND DUG I
WE'D NEVER GET ANYONE
TO STOP HERE.
[ snickering]
CAR TROUBLE, MISTER?
OW.
OH, THANK GOODNESS, STU.
MECHANICS.
ARE YOU OPEN?
24 HOURS A DAY.
GREAT. MY CAR WON'T START.
ENGINE TROUBLE,
I 'SPECT.
MOST LIKELY.
CAN YOU FIX IT?
I RECKON. IT'LL COST YOU.
OF COURSE.
DO YOU TAKE THESE?
MISTER, ACE AND ME WILL FIX
YOUR CAR UP REAL GOOD.
WHY DON'T Y'ALL
GET SOMETHING TO EAT?
GOOD IDEA.
WE HAVEN'T HAD BREAKFAST YET.
BEST FOOD
FOR AT LEAST 20 MILES.
OH!
WHOA!
Stu:
LET'S EAT.
I'M STARVED.
Didi:
ANGELICA? TOMMY?
TOMMY!
THAT'S NO PLACE FOR YOU,
SWEETHEART.
GOOD MORNING.
GRAB A SEAT.
BE RIGHT
WITH YOU.
HERE, SWEETIE.
Stu:
I WONDER IF WE'RE TOO
LATE FOR BREAKFAST.
THAT'S OKAY. LUNCH SOUND GOOD.
"CHICKEN-FRIED STEAK?"
"CHICKEN-FRIED WAFFLE?"
Stu:
EVERYTHING'S
CHICKEN-FRIED.
ANGELICA.
WHAT?!
I SAW IT.
SAW WHAT?
Didi:
OH, MA'AM?
EXCUSE ME.
YEAH?
COULD YOU BRING US BOOSTER SEATS
FOR THE CHILDREN?
SURE, DEARIE.
JUST GOT TO CUT A SLAB
OF THIS-HERE PIE
SORRY, HONEY.
THESE OLD HANDS
AIN'T WHAT THEY USED TO BE.
IT'S JUST A LITTLE STAIN.
COME BACK
TO THE KITCHEN.
WE'LL CLEAN THAT PIE OFF
IN A JIFFY.
ALL RIGHT.
STU, WILL YOU
WATCH THE KIDS
WHILE I'M GONE?
SURE, HON.
EVERYTHING'S UNDER
CONTROL.
"CHEF'S SPECIAL DU JOUR:
"THE DOWN UNDER.
AUSTRALIAN
RANGE CHICKEN"
COME ON.
"SCALLOPED POTATOES.
"THE HUMBOLDT CURRY.
SALMON A LA KING"
COME ON!
WAIT A MINUTE.
WHERE ARE WE GOING?
THE GRAHAM CANYON.
WOW!
ALREADY FOUND
THE PROBLEM, ACE.
LOOSE DISTRIBURERATOR CAB.
FIXED 'ER.
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE PUT IN
A WHOLE NEW ENGINE?
THAT COSTS A BUNDLE.
I RECKON THAT'S THE IDEA.
[ snickering]
NOW WE CLIMB
TO THE TOP.
HOW COME?
TO RIDE
TO THE BOTTOM ON DONKEYS
LIKE YOUR MOM SAID!
WHERE ARE THERE DONKEYS?
THEY'RE AT THE TOP.
COME ON!
OOH AHH
PHEW.
WHAT A VIEW.
THERE AREN'T ANY DONKEYS.
YOU CAN BE THE DONKEY.
I'LL BE THE DRIVER.
LOOK, ANGELICA! THAT'S
OUR CAR!
I JUST REMEMBERED!
I LEFT CYNTHIA IN THE CAR!
SHE MUST MISS ME TERRIBLY.
LET'S GO GET HER.
GIDDYUP!
OH!
OH!
AAH!
HEAR SOMETHING?
AAH!
Both:
OW!
THERE YOU ARE, CYNTHIA.
YOU MUSTN'T SCARE ME
LIKE THAT.
YUUH!
I THINK THAT BAD MAN
WANTS CYNTHIA
BUT HE WON'T GET HER.
LET'S RUN!
WHOA!
[ radio playing
bluegrass music]
HOW IN BLUE BRITCHES
DID YOU START THE ?
HE'S COMING.
LET'S HIDE UP HERE.
THAT CAR IS HAUNTED.
WHY YEOW!
COME ON, TOMMY.
COME ON, CYNTHIA.
LET'S GO EAT LUNCH.
MM-HMM.
"THE SOUTH OF THE BORDER
ORDER:
JALAPENO MEAT LOAF
SMOTHERED IN MOLE SAUCE."
MOLE SAUCE?
"INSIDE A BEAN DIP."
NAH.
"TURKEY FARMERS' "
SO WHAT'S YOUR PLEASURE?
HUH?
I THINK I WILL HAVE THE
PATTY MELT.
HI, DIDI.
MR. PICKLES, WOULD YOU ACCEPT
A FREE REPAIR JOB?
HUH?
WE FIXED YOUR CAR.
WE EVEN THREW IN
A COMPLIMENTARY AIR FRESHENER.
HOW NICE OF YOU.
WE GOT OTHER
REPAIR WORK WAITING.
WOULD YOU GET IN YOUR CAR
AND GET ON THE ROAD?
SOON.
REAL SOON.
MY, YOU SURE MEET SOME WONDERFUL
PEOPLE OUT ON THE ROAD.
YEAH, I GUESS SO.
YOU KNOW,
DO WE REALLY WAN
TO GO
TO THE GRAND CANYON?
LOOK. WHY DON'T WE GO TO
THE CLAM CANYON INSTEAD?
[ circus music playing]
HERE YOU GO, CYNTHIA.
ARGGGH!
MMM
THIS WAS WORTH THE WHOLE TRIP.
MMM I'LL SAY.
YOU NEVER KNOW WHERE
YOU'LL FIND GOOD SEAFOOD.
YOU KNOW, ANGELICA,
THIS CLAM CANYON IS GREA
BUT I THINK I HAD EVEN MORE FUN
AT THE GRAHAMCANYON.
IT'S GRANDCANYON!
CYNTHIA, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE
TO TEACH BABIES ANYTHING.
IT'S MY NEWEST, FAVORITEST TOY
IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
MY ZIPPO GLIDER PLANE.
WOW.
SEE, CHUCKIE, IT'S EASY.
YOU JUST HOLD IT LIKE THIS
AND THROW IT.
I GET IT NOW, TOMMY.
HERE GOES.
AW
I CAN'T DO
ANYTHING RIGHT.
HOW MANY
DO THEY WANT, STU?
15,000, DREW.
15,000, STU?
THAT'S RIGHT, DREW.
15,000 DOLLS?!
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
WHY, THERE WERE 15 GIRLS
IN MY FAMILY
AND THEY ALL SHARED
THE SAME DOLL.
SLEPT IN THE SAME ROOM TOO.
MUCKLEHONEY TOYS WANTS
15,000 PATTY PANTS DOLLS
DELIVERED IN TWO WEEKS.
DON'T GET ME WRONG
BUT HOW'S A SMALL-TIME
GUY LIKE YOU
GOING TO MAKE 15,000 DOLLS
BY NEXT WEEK?
GOING TO HIRE YOU
SOME ELVES OR SOMETHING?
LAUGH NOW.
IN A MOMENT
YOU'LL BE SPEECHLESS.
GENTLEMEN
FEAST YOUR EYES ON THIS.
WHAT IS IT?
INTRODUCING THE PATENTED PICKLES
PATTY PANTS
PRODUCTION POWERHOUSE.
BOYS, THIS THING WILL CHURN OUT
SEVEN PATTYS A MINUTE.
I DON'T KNOW, STU.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD HIRE
A PROFESSIONAL
PRODUCTION COMPANY.
AND CUT INTO MY PROFITS?
SEEMS TO ME A SCREWDRIVER
AND A PAINTBRUSH
WOULD BE EASIER
THAN ALL THIS FUSS.
PREPARE TO BE AMAZED.
I THOUGHT I HAD
THE BUGS WORKED OUT.
WELL, ONLY 14,999
TO GO, STU.
[ sighs]
I DON'T KNOW, TOMMY.
I GUESS I'M JUST NOT MEANT
TO SOAR WITH THE EAGLES.
COME ON, CHUCKIE,
DON'T GIVE UP.
HERE, I'LL SHOW YOU
ONE MORE TIME.
NOW, WATCH.
[ grunts]
UH-OH
UH-OH
IF I DON'T
GET THIS WORKING
I'LL BE RUINED!
YOU SHOULD HAVE HIRED
A PROFESSIONAL.
I AMA PROFESSIONAL, DREW.
PROFESSIONAL DUNCE.
TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE.
TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE
TIMES TEN.
TIMES A HUNDRED.
TIMES A THOUSAND.
TIMES INFINITY.
STIFLE YOURSELVES
BEFORE I BOX YOUR EARS.
INFINITY TIMES TEN.
INFINITY TIMES A MILLION.
YOU KNOW WHAT WE GOT
TO DO, DON'T YOU?
WE GOT TO FIND SOMETHING ELSE
TO PLAY WITH.
NO, WE GOT TO GO
GET MY PLANE.
WE CAN'T DO THAT.
WE'RE BABIES.
WE DON'T KNOW HOW
TO GO DOWN STAIRS.
WELL, WE GOT TO LEARN SOMETIME.
YEAH, THAT'S TRUE.
MAYBE NEXT YEAR.
NO, WE GOT TO DO IT NOW.
WE'RE GOING TO GO
AND GET MY PLANE.
BUT HOW, TOMMY?
DON'T WORRY.
I GOT A IDEA.
HOW YOU DOING, CHUCKIE?
OKAY
DON'T WORRY.
WE'RE ALMOST THERE.
WHATEVER YOU DO,
JUST DON'T LOOK DOWN.
[ gasping]
WHAT'S WRONG?
I LOOKED DOWN.
I TOLD YOU
NOT TO LOOK DOWN.
I'M SCARED, TOMMY.
IT'S OKAY.
I'M SCARED OF BEING UP HIGH.
I KEEP REMEMBERING THIS DREAM
I ALWAYS HAVE.
I'M IN THIS WHITE ROOM
AND IT'S SO BRIGH
AND SOMEBODY'S
HOLDING ME UPSIDE-DOWN
AND THEN HE SPANKS ME,
AND I CRY AND CRY.
OOH! I HAVE
THAT SAME DREAM, CHUCKIE.
JUST TRY NOT
TO THINK ABOUT IT.
I NEED A BOTTLE.
CHUCKIE, YOU CAN DO IT.
NOW, COME ON, LET'S GO.
OKAY.
[ screaming]
WOW.
WHERE ARE WE, TOMMY?
I DON'T KNOW, CHUCKIE
BUT MY GLIDER'S
DOWN HERE SOMEWHERE.
SURE IS A LO
OF NEAT JUNK IN HERE.
YEAH. WE BETTER SPLIT UP
AND LOOK FOR MY GLIDER.
SPLIT UP?!
WE CAN COVER MORE GROUND
THAT WAY.
YOU GO THAT WAY.
I'LL GO THIS WAY.
[ gasping]
OOH
MMM
OOPS.
HEY, MOOSE,
WHERE'S THE REST OF YOU?
WELL, ARE YOU GOING
TO SAY SOMETHING
OR JUST HANG THERE?
AW, YOU'RE NO FUN.
HUH?
MAYBE THE PLANE WENT UP THERE.
HEY, THIS IS KIND OF NEAT.
NO, THIS IS BETTER THAN NEAT!
THIS IS FUN!
WHEE! WHEE!
WHEE! WHEE!
TOMMY!
HELP!
TOMMY, HELP!
CHUCKIE, WHAT HAPPENED?
GET ME OUT OF HERE.
DON'T WORRY, CHUCKIE.
I'LL GET YOU OUT.
WHAT IF YOU DON'T?
WHAT IF I'M
STUCK HERE FOREVER?
AW, COME ON, CHUCKIE.
I'LL JUST BE STUCK
IN THIS DUMB OLD MATTRESS
LIKE A BIG JOKE.
MATTRESS BOY,
THAT'S WHAT THEY'LL CALL ME.
MATTRESS BOY.
AH, AH, AH
[ both screaming]
[ gasping]
[ Chuckie screaming]
[ loud crash]
WOW, TOMMY
LOOK AT THIS PLACE.
ARE WE IN HEAVEN,
TOMMY?
NAH. THIS IS WHERE
MY DAD GOES ALL DAY.
LOOK, TOMMY, WHAT A GREAT ROBOT.
AND LOOK!
I LOVETHAT LION.
AND LOOK!
MY PLANE!
[ Chuckie gasping]
MAYBE WE SHOULD
GET OUT OF HERE, TOMMY.
THIS PLACE IS KIND OF SCARY.
KEEP YOUR DIAPERS ON,
CHUCKIE.
I GOT A IDEA.
NOT ANOTHER ONE.
I STILL CAN'T
REACH IT, CHUCKIE.
GIVE ME A BOOST, OKAY?
WHOA
TOMMY, LOOK OUT!
CHUCKIE, THERE IT IS!
THE PLANE! THE PLANE!
GET IT!
HUH?
Chuckie:
WHY DON'T YOUGET IT?
WOW-WOW-WOW-WOW. TOMMY!
HELP!
HELP!
DO SOMETHING, TOMMY!
DO SOMETHING!
LOOK BEHIND YOU,
CHUCKIE!
[ screaming]
CHUCKIE, GRAB MY HAND!
AH!
THE PLANE, CHUCKIE!
THE PLANE!
[ yelling]
GET THE PLANE, CHUCKIE!
GET THE PLANE!
I CAN'T, TOMMY!
I'M TOO SCARED!
YOU CAN DO IT, CHUCKIE!
[ yelling]
GOT IT.
HEY, WHAT'S
GOING ON IN HERE?
HOW DID THAT MACHINE
GET TURNED ON?
MY PATTY PANTS MACHINE--
IT WORKS.
IT WORKS.
OH, BOY. OH, BOY.
OH, BOY. OH, BOY.
I GOT TO SHOW DIDI.
OH, STU, WATCH THIS.
IT'S ABOUT
THE PUPATION CYCLE
OF THE SOUTH AMERICAN
JUNGLE GNAT.
DEED, MY PATTY PANTS
MACHINE WORKED.
IT'S ALREADY MADE
A BUNCH OF THEM
AND THEY'RE PERFECT!
THEY'RE JUST WONDERFUL, STU
AND SO LIFELIKE.
LET'S CELEBRATE.
I'M CALLING DREW.
I'M CALLING POP.
THEY CALLED ME CRAZY.
CRAZY GENIUS
IS MORE LIKE IT.
TOMMY, THAT WAS
THE SCARIEST THING
THAT EVER HAPPENED
IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
AW, COME ON.
IT WASN'T SO BAD.
WE SAW A LOT OF NEAT STUFF,
AND YOU SAVED MY PLANE.
YEAH.
I DID, DIDN'T I?
HERE.
IT'S YOUR TURN
TO THROW IT.
[ both gasping]
[ clattering]
UH-OH.
UH-OH.
Captioned by
The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation