Six Feet Under s01e13 Episode Script
Knock, Knock
Expansion has slowed, but then the economy has slowed.
It's only natural.
No, growth is the only thing that is natural, Mr.
Gilardi.
And growth is the only thing that is acceptable.
Now, I know that may sound harsh, but it's the truth.
To accept anything less is sheer laziness.
And if there's one thing I can't abide, it is laziness.
I've been watching you.
- Really? - Oh, yeah.
You're smart.
You're ambitious.
You're also shallow and amoral.
I like that in a man.
Kroehner needs new funeral homes.
We got a serious cash-flow problem.
We need new real estate that we can unload at a profit.
Because we're not exactly liquid at the moment.
Understand? - I do.
- I need at least three new homes in L.
A.
Before the end of the year.
- Three? - That's right, three.
And I'm making you responsible for finding them.
Now, I would only do that if I thought that you were up to it.
- Any questions? - No, ma'am.
Fuck you with the "ma'am" shit! Call me that again, I'll have your balls on a plate, your spleen on a stick and your heart wrapped and FedEx'd to your mama, all right? - All right.
- All right.
Fuck.
Mrs.
Huntley, are you all right? Yeah, I'm fine.
I shouldn't have had escargot at lunch.
Little fuckers always give me heartburn.
Hey, let's quit after this hole.
I need a drink.
Goddamn it, I hooked it! Hi.
David, something awful's happened.
I didn't know where else to turn.
Tracy, I'm sorry you're having trouble, but I thought it was clear I need to arrange a funeral.
Yes, my Aunt Lilian.
She was only the most important person in my whole life.
What? You thought I was here for some other reason? Oh, David, please.
You need to get over yourself.
All right, this won't be hard.
I'm massively organized.
I'm a professional party planner.
Did you know that? I did this huge party for New Line for the Golden Globes last year.
The Hollywood Reporter called it "resplendent.
" And it was.
Aunt Lilian's funeral needs to be equally resplendent.
I need these programs by tomorrow afternoon at the latest, George.
You've been such a good supplier to me.
I'd hate to see that relationship end.
Oh, great.
Thank you.
Okay, bye, now.
All right, that takes care of that.
Now I have to go to Harry Winston's, see if they'll loan me something fabulous for Aunt Lilian's viewing.
- I just need you to sign - I'm serious, David.
Don't worry about the cost.
She practically raised me.
I owe her.
Besides she was loaded.
And also I intend to sue the pants off that country club.
- I still need a signature - I've had it out for them ever since my debut, when one of the Chinese busboys made a really inappropriate comment about the neckline of my dress.
I'll be faxing you.
Jesus Christ, Nate, what took you so long? I told you, I was taking the Funeral Directors' Licensing Exam.
I had to finish or wait until next March to take it again.
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
It's just I have to go see Billy in the hospital.
I have to, Nate.
- All right.
- He needs me.
I can feel it.
- Will you come with me, please? - Of course.
Thank you.
- So, what're you up to this weekend? - I don't know.
Probably come up with some creative way to avoid my family.
- Why? - I'm having this big party on Saturday.
Yeah? Yeah, my dad and my stepmom are renewing their vows in Hawaii.
- You're not going? - No way.
They do this, like, every six months.
It's so not a big deal.
And guess who has the keys to her dad's total party house in Bel Air.
I'm beginning to see how this Little Miss Perfect act pays off.
Yeah, why do you think I do it? So, what's up with you and Mr.
OD? Shut up.
No, I was just wondering if he's, like, you know over it.
Yeah, he is.
He's incredibly strong.
He's much stronger than he thinks.
Well, that's a good thing, right? I guess.
Bring him to the party if you want.
Okay, I will.
I'm sure he hates me.
The one person he thought he could count on, and I had him committed.
Well, it was for his own good.
He always felt the entire world was against him.
It's all because of my fucking mother.
She had children as, like, fashion accessories.
You had no choice.
He could've harmed himself.
He did harm himself.
I'm so afraid of what he's gonna say to me.
Brenda, you cannot let him hurt you anymore.
For your good and for his.
What if he thinks I hurt him? - What if he's right? - You saved him.
I'll go by Bristol Farms and pick up some of those dried Porcini mushrooms.
You wanna take me out to dinner? No, there's nothing wrong with that, it's just Hiram, do you realize that you've never taken me out before? I suppose because of Nathaniel we just always got in the habit of staying in.
I have to run.
Can you pick me up at? Is 8 too late? No, at the house.
Bye, now.
- I need you to stay and work tonight.
- What? It's very busy right now.
We have three unfilled orders, that's nothing.
And Robbie's coming in at 6 tomorrow morning.
It's coming up on Father's Day, very busy time.
No one sends flowers for Father's Day, which is the day after tomorrow.
You think we'll get a rush of orders tonight? Yes, you have to stay.
Change your plans.
No.
This is my business! I am boss here.
I'm not debating that.
But your authority does not extend to my personal life.
I don't care about your ridiculous personal life.
Going to sleep someplace outside in a tent, like refugee.
Yes, you do.
You don't like me seeing Hiram because you're jealous! It's no longer flattering.
It's just irritating.
I have chosen Hiram! I'm sorry if I somehow made you feel that's not the case, because it is! I wish you'd stop behaving like a spoiled child! I've dealt with enough children in my life.
I'm finally at the point where they get along without me, and I won't go back! You are fired! - You can't do that.
- I just do do that! Now you can go.
Get out of here, you're fired.
Go on, get out! It's a piece of cake.
Just the one bump on her head and a pretty big bruise.
But most of it's covered by her hair, which, lucky for us is remarkably thick for a woman her age.
What?! Tracy wants to change the casket, the flowers the music and the times of the viewing.
And the ceremony.
How am I supposed to put together a resplendent funeral in two days when she can't make up her fucking mind? By telling her that once she signs a contract she can't pull any of this shit.
- That's what I'd do.
If I was a partner.
- Which you're not, so let me handle this.
I need you to do everything you can to make her look the best she possibly can.
- I always do that, David.
- Of course you do, Federico.
It's just that it's a very important funeral, and we stand to make a lot of money.
- Which I won't see any of.
- We just gave you a raise.
Do you want me to come with you? No, I don't want him to know that you're here.
I'll be right out here if you need me.
Okay.
Billy? Hi.
Hi.
How're you doing? - Fine.
- Yeah? Yeah.
Whatever I was feeling before I'm not feeling now.
I'm so sorry, Billy.
It's so weird.
I love you more than anything and I could've seriously hurt you.
It all made sense at the time.
- You know - I hate this.
I hate that my blood makes me crazy.
I hate that I can't function without being chemically altered.
- I hate that I fucked up your life.
- You haven't.
- I did that on my own.
- No, you deserve to be happy.
I don't.
I must have some weird-ass karma.
- We both do.
- No, it's just me.
The fact that I could've hurt you like that upsets me like nothing ever has.
And when I look at you all I want to say is I'm sorry.
Please forgive me.
And inside I feel like tears are streaming down my cheeks.
But they're not, are they? Don't cry.
Please don't cry.
Just because I can't.
You be happy.
I want you to be happy.
I'll be happy if you are.
Okay.
I'm so lost inside.
I wish that I could get out.
- But I don't think I ever will.
- You'll be all right.
- You'll be okay.
- It's all right.
It's okay.
You're so beautiful.
How come there's no home movies of me when I was a kid? I'm not sure.
After I bought that new super-8 camera, we filmed everything the boys did.
After you came along, I guess we sort of felt like, you know been there, done that.
Yeah, I know.
Which made me feel, like, totally secondary, thank you.
Cheer up, kitten.
Maybe some of that attention you never got will motivate you to get off your lazy ass and do something interesting with your life.
I got fired today.
- That sucks.
- Yes, it does.
If you wanna know the truth, I was a victim of sexual harassment.
- What? - Nikolai wanted me to work late to keep me from dinner with Hiram.
When I refused, he fired me.
- Oh, my God.
What a dork! - I know.
Can you believe it? I have a good mind to call a lawyer.
Well, it sounds like you're better off out of there.
I have a certificate in floral arranging.
I can get a job anywhere.
- Screw Nikolai.
- Exactly.
Have you ever thought about getting married? - Sure, I've thought about it, but - We've been together almost a year.
And you practically live at my house.
You've seen me at my worst.
- What other information do you need? - We've been together six months, Bren.
I didn't realize you were counting the days.
- I'm not - What, you mark them off at night? Like a prisoner in his cell, like the Count of fucking Monte Cristo? Since when are you so hot on marriage? Well, I need to know where this is going.
I need to know if I'm wasting my time.
- What if I wanna have children? - Well, you said you didn't.
Well, do you? I mean, you're what, 35? What's the longest relationship you've ever been in? - This one.
- Yeah, well, that's pathetic.
You haven't had a serious relationship since fucking high school.
At least I've had a serious relationship.
At least I know what one is.
You know how many guys would've left after all the psycho shit you've put me through? - Now we're getting to the point.
This is what's really going on, you wanna bail.
No, you want me to bail! Look out! Hey, Augusto's christening is Sunday afternoon.
We're thinking about having a party afterwards.
For my folks and Vanessa's and Well, our place is a little small.
You think we could have it here? Right now, Lilian Montrose's viewing is scheduled for 3 to 6, so Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
I was thinking after that.
I'm only asking because I I still think of your family as my family.
And I really want you all to be there.
Sure.
We'd be happy to let you have the party here.
Thanks, boss.
Could you load me a hypodermic with some phenol solution for this bump? Wouldn't you rather start with a compress? Why? An injection will get rid of the swelling and take care of the bruising.
- You're getting better at this, Dave.
- Thank you, Federico.
Oh, great, now what? Tracy's decided to have Aunt Lilian cremated and her ashes placed in a Faberg'e egg? Can we do it by 7 tonight? - I think you should look at this.
- Well, what is it? Oh, good grief.
Adult female, unrestrained driver, unconscious upon arrival.
Now responsive only to painful stimuli.
Blood pressure, 86/40.
Pulse, 130.
Respiration, 36 and shallow.
- Brenda? - She has a large scalp emulsion.
- Why won't you talk to me? - Trachea's midline, neck veins are flat.
- Lactated ringers.
- What happened? What happened? Patient two, adult male Sir, you've been in an accident.
Just stay calm, okay? Everything's fine.
Adult male, he's alert now but confused, no memory of accident.
- Why is her head in that thing? - She had an injury.
She's gonna be okay.
- Is she dead? - She's fine.
She's gonna be fine.
- How's your sea bass? - Delicious, thank you.
Ruth, I need to tell you something, and - I'm not proud of this.
- What is it? I've met someone.
I never meant for this to happen.
I wasn't looking.
Yes, well, that's always when it does happen.
Well, I'm not sure quite how to Oh, boy.
- I'm not quite sure how to say this.
- For heaven's sake, spit it out.
I'd like to pursue it.
Things between you and I have felt Well, not exactly And I feel a bond with this new person that Well, the beginnings of a bond, that could be something quite profound.
All right.
I thought you'd be more upset.
I would've thought the same thing.
Hiram, please.
Go, explore.
You owe it to yourself and whoever she is.
Maybe the two of you could have something, as you say, profound.
Lord knows we don't.
Well, if it was, this would be a lot more difficult, wouldn't it? Oh, it is difficult for me.
Let's order dessert.
That'll cheer you up.
Hey, you.
Doctor says you're gonna be okay.
Well, I like hearing that.
- What about you? - I'm okay.
Banged up, but apparently nothing broken.
I'm sorry I almost killed you.
Goddamn it.
This is gonna send my car insurance premiums through the roof.
When you were unconscious, I prayed.
You know how long it's been since I prayed? And I've never prayed like this.
So because of me, you've become born again.
I'm so sorry.
You are one incredibly difficult and sometimes infuriating woman.
And I cannot imagine my life without you.
Promise me you'll be a better driver.
Promise me you'll take care of yourself and you'll live as long as you can.
Because I don't know what I'd do if I lost you.
So if you wanna get married, I'm all for it.
Okay, maybe I was overreacting.
Let's just take one step at a time, shall we? Okay.
- Oh, my God.
What a bad dream.
- Yeah.
Father Jack doesn't deny he performed a commitment ceremony for two lesbians.
Privately, not in the church.
The Lambeth Conference resolution on sexuality expressly condemns the blessing of same-sex unions and councils against ordination of those involved.
Whether or not we agree with this resolution Do we really want our children learning from a man that ignores God's laws? I think we should ask Jack to leave.
And so do James and Owen, and I'm guessing David feels the same.
Actually, I don't.
The church rejects homosexual practice as incompatible with Scripture.
So because of their random genetics, gay people should be denied any romantic or sexual love? - That is liberal claptrap.
It's not genetics.
It can be overcome.
Walter, the only way you could know that for sure is if it's something that you overcame.
- And the only way you couldn't know is if it's something you're not strong enough to overcome.
Are you gay, David? Yes.
Then his vote cannot be counted here.
That's ridiculous.
He's a deacon.
He gets a vote.
David does not obey the laws of the church.
Without his vote, it's an even split.
How do you plan to resolve the matter? I think we should get the bishop involved.
You sure you wanna do that? Okay, we talked about the flowers.
I gave you the CD I burned with music for the viewing.
I wish David were here.
I'd much prefer to go over things with him than with some underling, but Oh, no.
No.
No.
This won't do.
What? Well, this right here, there's a nick in the wood.
Oh, no, that's part of the grain.
I don't think so.
All right, well, we'll just have to return it and then get a new one.
That's not possible.
I'm sorry? There's nothing wrong with this casket.
Even if there was, it's too late to get another like it by tomorrow.
- I don't care how much it costs.
This isn't about cost.
There's not another one of these available.
We had to ship this one down from San Francisco as it was.
I'm very unhappy about this.
If you want to call it off, I can bring your aunt's body up and you can take it somewhere else.
Okay? Hello? Hiram, there's nothing to talk about.
No, I'm not angry.
Oh, Mom, I'll probably be spending tonight at a friend's house.
What friend? - Parker McKenna.
- I don't know any Parker.
- Well, you haven't met her yet.
- Oh, good grief! Hiram, you're the one who wanted to break up.
I'm sorry if you're having second thoughts, because I'm not.
Men can be so stupid.
Yeah.
I'd like for you to have Parker's mother call me, okay? Okay.
Oh, Nate, glad you're here.
Need to talk to you later.
- About what? - In private.
Good morning.
How are you this morning? Oh, God.
I was having the most incredible dream.
I was swimming with dolphins.
Only we weren't swimming, we were flying.
Oh, and Drew Barrymore was there.
Whatever you are on, I would like some of it.
She was like my best friend.
- How's your headache today? - It's better.
Oh, my God, and there was this shark following us and I think it was Courtney Love.
- How'd she look? - She was in Versace.
Are we supposed to believe that the same God who made us wants us to be lonely and frustrated while the rest of the world's free to make love and have families? - No, God isn't that cruel.
- Good for you for marrying two lesbians.
- My high school girlfriend.
Who do you think sent that fax? Walter swears it wasn't him.
I am so fucking tired of being ashamed.
We'll just fight back, you and me.
We'll fight them.
Walter's just a bully.
- We'll just bully him back.
- I don't think that's such a good idea.
I've agreed to not officiate at any other gay weddings.
And you get to stay.
- How do you feel about that? - Relieved.
I've put in almost six years here at St.
Bart's.
And I'd really prefer not to have to start over somewhere new.
Not at this point in my life.
And I have a favor to ask of you.
I need you to resign as deacon.
Otherwise, Walter will keep making noise until he gets his way and I'd really prefer not to get the bishop involved.
- Jack, you can't give in to them.
- I know which battles can be won, David.
This is not one of them.
I guess I just thought that you were I don't know, braver than that.
I'm tired.
I'm tired of trying to make it better here and never succeeding because of politics.
I just don't have it in me right now.
But how can you? You're gay.
No, I'm not.
I'm not.
People have always assumed that.
But I'm not.
Sorry.
More Scotch? No, thanks.
I - I really don't wanna be here.
- Oh, get over yourself.
I know you and Parker had sex, so what? You're not the first guy I slept with.
Right, but am I the last? Maybe.
If he's gonna get me in here, I'll use it, but Oh, my God.
What the fuck do these people do? Her father's, like, some movie bigwig.
I think.
Invitation only.
- Okay, this is tragic.
- We can always leave.
Let's just find the bar.
Excuse me? Excuse me, do you know where the bar is? - Over there.
- Right.
- Where's Parker? - It's not her house.
This is a porn party.
I'm telling you, they're shooting a porno here.
What the fuck is that? - Faggot.
- Hey, shut up.
My brother's a faggot.
Oh, yeah.
I'm sorry.
Let's just say hi and leave, okay? Oh, no, this could be kind of fun.
Come on.
- Hey, Parker.
- Hey.
This is a really nice house you've got here.
I know.
So, like, of course I don't get to live here.
I just get to trash it when they're gone.
This is Warren.
This is Claire.
- Nice to meet you.
- And Gabriel.
This is what concerns me, this area of decreased attenuation.
It's very faint.
Doesn't look like there's an acute injury, but something's not right.
Well, she's gonna be all right, isn't she? These are your CAT scan results, Nate.
- Mine? - Don't worry about Brenda.
Hers was totally clean.
So, what do you think it is? I'd like to give you a shot of contrast dye and do another CAT scan to really know.
Oh, hello, Mrs.
Fisher? This is Elise McKenna, Parker's stepmother.
Claire asked me to call you.
Yes, I just wanted to be sure there's proper adult supervision if she's staying there.
- Oh, absolutely.
Yes, of course.
Don't worry for a minute.
All right, then, I don't want her drinking.
There isn 't even any liquor in the house, You see, my husband and I are both alcoholics.
And Parker's fresh out of rehab.
So we'll take really good care of Claire.
I promise, Kisses, - That was mean.
- What? A Hollywood ass-waxing party.
- Everybody's wearing leather or rubber.
- Seriously, bro, seriously.
- Rip those fucking nipple-rings out.
- No shit.
Where were you last night? I called you, and your mom was all, "I don't know.
" I was hanging with my girl.
Okay, well, while you were getting your toes sucked we sucked down a free sixer from 7-Eleven.
- Fuck, we pulled a beer cow.
- A beer cow, dude, that's the shit.
Hell yeah, a fucking beer cow.
Dink, shut the fuck up, dude.
What the fuck is a beer cow? Oh, shit, it was mad.
So we go to buy some beer, right? And we get to the counter, but it's like, nobody has enough cash.
So Dink just starts fucking mooing at the top of his lungs at this guy, right? So I'm like, "Fuck it.
" So I start mooing too.
Oh, yeah, but really fucking loud.
Like we just might totally go nuts.
The guy was so fucking scared of us.
It was hilarious, man.
It was a total movie moment.
Fuck yeah, and then we grab all the beer and we fly.
We laughed for, like, five straight hours.
It was the shit.
Yeah, dude.
A beer cow, right? We gotta do that shit again, man.
I haven't had that much fun since I was, like, 6.
- Fucking beer cow, right? - Yeah.
Fuck.
Well we did find something that concerns me.
My guess would be that it's AVM.
- Arteriovenous malformation.
- What the fuck is that? Abnormally enlarged and intertwined blood vessels in your brain.
Have you been experiencing any headaches? Yeah, I get headaches.
I take Advil, they go away.
Any vertigo, nausea, problems with your balance? Nope.
- Any fluctuation in your field of vision? - Like what? Like a fluttering in your peripheral vision? - Once.
- Do the headaches seem to affect one side of the head more than the other? The left side.
Sometimes.
Well, I would like to schedule an MRI for you as soon as possible.
What's the worst-case scenario here? - Nate, it's way too early for that.
- You fucking tell me.
Not all vascular malfunctions of the brain become symptomatic.
Some, however, carry a significant risk of hemorrhage.
So I could have a stroke? You could be at a higher risk for stroke or seizure than most.
We need to do more tests to be certain.
Could I die from this? It's possible.
Yes.
There's gotta be some kind of mistake.
I mean, I don't smoke.
I haven't had any red meat since 1989.
I run three miles a day.
Don't blow this out of proportion.
There are treatments, surgical options.
Even if it is AVM, you could live for another 50 years.
However, I would like to run a full cardiovascular profile on you before you continue with the running, okay? This happened yesterday? For heaven's sake, why didn't you call me earlier? Because I thought I was okay.
- Well, you are okay, aren't you? - Yeah.
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm a nervous wreck.
Are you all right, dear? Yes, thank you.
Well, I want you both to promise me that you'll be more careful from now on.
We promise.
Oh, boy.
This time it's personal.
What's wrong? Nothing.
- So how old did you say you were? - How old do you want me to be? Parker? - Oh, of course.
Sorry.
- What do you want? Nothing, I was just looking for Gabe.
I'm sorry.
You drop a beer, you have to pay for it.
No, no, no, no.
Moo.
Moo.
Hey, say "moo.
" - Where the fuck did you get that? - Say "moo.
" - Moo.
- Now get the money out of the register.
Go get the fucking car! Moo.
- So do you think I should resign? - What do you want to do? I don't wanna belong to a church that's so intolerant.
And I don't wanna waste my time with a fight that can't be won.
But I don't wanna just take it either.
I've been doing that my whole fucking life, and I'm fucking sick to death of it.
And to top it all off, I'm scheduled to do a devotional reading in Mass tomorrow.
- You gonna do it? - Of course.
They're not gonna intimidate me into just disappearing.
Oh, I came out to my mother.
- You're kidding.
- It was really uncomfortable.
- How's she taking it? - Hard to tell.
She's as weird as always.
Thanks for meeting me here today.
I just had to talk about it to somebody.
And I could always talk to you.
Well, I'm glad that we've managed to remain friends.
Listen, I gotta run.
I'm meeting Eddie later.
Hey, he said he saw you at the candlelight vigil for Marc Foster.
Yeah, yeah, I was driving by on my way home.
Okay.
Well, thanks again.
Yeah, well, let me know how it all turns out.
I will.
- Take care, David.
- You too.
Tell Eddie I said hi.
Don't you wanna do what those really cool kids in there are doing? No.
Where's your boyfriend? I don't know.
I like him.
- You do? - Yeah, something about him.
Can't quite put my finger on it.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Where'd you go? We just went to get some more beer.
- Why, did you miss me? - Not that much, ego man.
Hi.
Can I help you? I'd like to speak to David, if at all possible.
Well, he's not here right now.
- Well, where is he? - I'm not sure.
Perhaps I can help you.
Perhaps you can.
That remains to be seen.
My aunt's viewing is tomorrow.
And I'm not at all satisfied with the state of her casket.
I spoke to one of your other employees about it earlier today and he didn't seem to be the slightest bit concerned.
I'll show you.
I'll show you.
See? Right here.
It's been nicked.
How about we take 100 bucks off? - I want a new casket.
- Well, I'm not sure that's an option.
Why does nobody around here seem to care about doing things right? If I'm not mistaken, you haven't even signed a contract, right? - That's not the point.
- So you could turn around in the end say, "I never agreed," and not pay? - Of course not, that's ridiculous.
Yeah, that is ridiculous.
So I'm gonna go get that contract right now and until you sign it, you don't get to complain about anything else.
I resent your implication.
You ought to be thanking your fucking stars that you're alive and healthy.
And that you don't work like a dog just to starve or get shot in the street.
I'll be right back with that contract.
I thought this is what you wanted.
It's too little too late.
What, are you trying to get your wings? - Where's your boyfriend? I do like him.
- Yeah, you said that already.
He'll be headed over to my neck of the woods pretty soon.
Right here.
Look at this.
- Yeah.
- I like it.
Why you are here? You're fired.
Dear Lord, have you been here all night? Go drive in the woods with your man who burns chicken in the funny little toy car.
I came here to get my things before I go to church.
I thought this would be a safe time not to run into you.
- Is he rich? - What? No.
So he is a good lover, yeah? That's none of your business.
Because you are the kind of woman who needs a good lover.
Oh, and why is that? Because you're so scared of feeling.
You are scared of your own heart.
You should have a man who can touch you there.
Who sees your beauty.
I hoping he is this man for you.
In your steadfast faith and love, that through your grace we may proclaim your truth with boldness and minister your justice with compassion.
For the sake of our savior, Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.
Amen.
Amen.
"In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust.
Let me never be ashamed.
Deliver me in thy righteousness.
" "Let me never be ashamed.
" There's a concept.
I've been ashamed my entire life.
I grew up thinking I was unworthy in the eyes of God instead of trusting God not to be an ignorant, frightened bigot.
Because of this, I've made myself crazy.
I've put myself in danger, I've made a lot of mistakes.
Big mistakes.
Which all could've been avoided if I'd just had faith.
Faith that maybe God really is love, like we say.
How am I supposed to spread God's love throughout the world when I deny it to myself? God be with you all.
- Really nice job.
- Thanks.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
- Oh, David, wonderful.
Good to see you.
- Thanks.
Thank you.
David! I am so proud of you.
That was great, David.
- I didn't even know you were here.
- I had to see what you were gonna do.
We're gonna get something to eat, why don't you come? Yeah, Fred 62 in Los Feliz.
Maybe a movie afterwards.
No, I can't.
I've gotta work.
Okay, well, congratulations.
You spoke the truth.
Thank you.
Take care.
Okay, well don't be a stranger.
We go for big breakfast now, yeah? No, I can't.
I'm sorry.
But it's Sunday.
I can't believe I missed church.
My son was giving a reading during the service.
- You are happy, no? - Yes, I'm very happy.
- I'm never gonna marry you.
- What? I will be your friend and your lover, but I will never be your wife.
I spent the first half of my life doing that, I don't need to do it again.
- Maybe I can convince you.
- Nope.
Not going to happen.
Nate.
Mom told me about the accident.
Are you all right? Yeah.
Yeah, I'm fine.
Thanks for making Tracy sign that contract.
I don't know if you've noticed this, but she's kind of crazy.
Yeah, I got a whiff of that.
And thanks for staying in L.
A.
And helping me run the business.
Things have been a lot more fun around here since you've been home.
Why, thank you, Dave.
Look, I'm gonna be late for Augusto's christening.
I gotta run.
Oh, that crazy-ass niece is upstairs crying and won't come down.
Oh, no, I think this one is yours.
Okay.
But I'm warning you, I might just fucking punch her.
Tracy? My Aunt Lilian was the only person who ever really loved me.
My parents didn't.
My husband certainly didn't.
And now she's dead.
Her husband died, then her daughter died too in this car crash on her 17th birthday.
But Aunt Lilian just went on.
She raised Welsh corgis and she took up watercolors and she loved me.
And now she's dead.
I've never felt this alone in the world.
And I'm used to feeling alone.
I know what that's like.
And now I find out that there's this whole new level.
Why do people have to die? To make life important.
None of us know how long we've got.
Which is why we have to make each day matter.
And it sounds like your Aunt Lilian did exactly that.
- Yeah, she did.
- Then you can be happy for her.
For a life well-lived.
That's the most any of us can hope for.
I go to funerals sometimes.
Funerals of people I don't even know.
Harold and Maude is, like, my favorite movie of all time.
I saw it when I was in junior high and it profoundly affected my life.
It's a great movie.
You're very kind.
Are you married? Sort of.
Come on in.
Julio! Get over here, man! Baby, does that dead lady have to be in here? No.
No, I'll take her downstairs right now.
Get over here.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you.
What's up with you? I'm just thinking about how lucky I am.
I love you.
You know that, right? Yeah.
It's only natural.
No, growth is the only thing that is natural, Mr.
Gilardi.
And growth is the only thing that is acceptable.
Now, I know that may sound harsh, but it's the truth.
To accept anything less is sheer laziness.
And if there's one thing I can't abide, it is laziness.
I've been watching you.
- Really? - Oh, yeah.
You're smart.
You're ambitious.
You're also shallow and amoral.
I like that in a man.
Kroehner needs new funeral homes.
We got a serious cash-flow problem.
We need new real estate that we can unload at a profit.
Because we're not exactly liquid at the moment.
Understand? - I do.
- I need at least three new homes in L.
A.
Before the end of the year.
- Three? - That's right, three.
And I'm making you responsible for finding them.
Now, I would only do that if I thought that you were up to it.
- Any questions? - No, ma'am.
Fuck you with the "ma'am" shit! Call me that again, I'll have your balls on a plate, your spleen on a stick and your heart wrapped and FedEx'd to your mama, all right? - All right.
- All right.
Fuck.
Mrs.
Huntley, are you all right? Yeah, I'm fine.
I shouldn't have had escargot at lunch.
Little fuckers always give me heartburn.
Hey, let's quit after this hole.
I need a drink.
Goddamn it, I hooked it! Hi.
David, something awful's happened.
I didn't know where else to turn.
Tracy, I'm sorry you're having trouble, but I thought it was clear I need to arrange a funeral.
Yes, my Aunt Lilian.
She was only the most important person in my whole life.
What? You thought I was here for some other reason? Oh, David, please.
You need to get over yourself.
All right, this won't be hard.
I'm massively organized.
I'm a professional party planner.
Did you know that? I did this huge party for New Line for the Golden Globes last year.
The Hollywood Reporter called it "resplendent.
" And it was.
Aunt Lilian's funeral needs to be equally resplendent.
I need these programs by tomorrow afternoon at the latest, George.
You've been such a good supplier to me.
I'd hate to see that relationship end.
Oh, great.
Thank you.
Okay, bye, now.
All right, that takes care of that.
Now I have to go to Harry Winston's, see if they'll loan me something fabulous for Aunt Lilian's viewing.
- I just need you to sign - I'm serious, David.
Don't worry about the cost.
She practically raised me.
I owe her.
Besides she was loaded.
And also I intend to sue the pants off that country club.
- I still need a signature - I've had it out for them ever since my debut, when one of the Chinese busboys made a really inappropriate comment about the neckline of my dress.
I'll be faxing you.
Jesus Christ, Nate, what took you so long? I told you, I was taking the Funeral Directors' Licensing Exam.
I had to finish or wait until next March to take it again.
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
It's just I have to go see Billy in the hospital.
I have to, Nate.
- All right.
- He needs me.
I can feel it.
- Will you come with me, please? - Of course.
Thank you.
- So, what're you up to this weekend? - I don't know.
Probably come up with some creative way to avoid my family.
- Why? - I'm having this big party on Saturday.
Yeah? Yeah, my dad and my stepmom are renewing their vows in Hawaii.
- You're not going? - No way.
They do this, like, every six months.
It's so not a big deal.
And guess who has the keys to her dad's total party house in Bel Air.
I'm beginning to see how this Little Miss Perfect act pays off.
Yeah, why do you think I do it? So, what's up with you and Mr.
OD? Shut up.
No, I was just wondering if he's, like, you know over it.
Yeah, he is.
He's incredibly strong.
He's much stronger than he thinks.
Well, that's a good thing, right? I guess.
Bring him to the party if you want.
Okay, I will.
I'm sure he hates me.
The one person he thought he could count on, and I had him committed.
Well, it was for his own good.
He always felt the entire world was against him.
It's all because of my fucking mother.
She had children as, like, fashion accessories.
You had no choice.
He could've harmed himself.
He did harm himself.
I'm so afraid of what he's gonna say to me.
Brenda, you cannot let him hurt you anymore.
For your good and for his.
What if he thinks I hurt him? - What if he's right? - You saved him.
I'll go by Bristol Farms and pick up some of those dried Porcini mushrooms.
You wanna take me out to dinner? No, there's nothing wrong with that, it's just Hiram, do you realize that you've never taken me out before? I suppose because of Nathaniel we just always got in the habit of staying in.
I have to run.
Can you pick me up at? Is 8 too late? No, at the house.
Bye, now.
- I need you to stay and work tonight.
- What? It's very busy right now.
We have three unfilled orders, that's nothing.
And Robbie's coming in at 6 tomorrow morning.
It's coming up on Father's Day, very busy time.
No one sends flowers for Father's Day, which is the day after tomorrow.
You think we'll get a rush of orders tonight? Yes, you have to stay.
Change your plans.
No.
This is my business! I am boss here.
I'm not debating that.
But your authority does not extend to my personal life.
I don't care about your ridiculous personal life.
Going to sleep someplace outside in a tent, like refugee.
Yes, you do.
You don't like me seeing Hiram because you're jealous! It's no longer flattering.
It's just irritating.
I have chosen Hiram! I'm sorry if I somehow made you feel that's not the case, because it is! I wish you'd stop behaving like a spoiled child! I've dealt with enough children in my life.
I'm finally at the point where they get along without me, and I won't go back! You are fired! - You can't do that.
- I just do do that! Now you can go.
Get out of here, you're fired.
Go on, get out! It's a piece of cake.
Just the one bump on her head and a pretty big bruise.
But most of it's covered by her hair, which, lucky for us is remarkably thick for a woman her age.
What?! Tracy wants to change the casket, the flowers the music and the times of the viewing.
And the ceremony.
How am I supposed to put together a resplendent funeral in two days when she can't make up her fucking mind? By telling her that once she signs a contract she can't pull any of this shit.
- That's what I'd do.
If I was a partner.
- Which you're not, so let me handle this.
I need you to do everything you can to make her look the best she possibly can.
- I always do that, David.
- Of course you do, Federico.
It's just that it's a very important funeral, and we stand to make a lot of money.
- Which I won't see any of.
- We just gave you a raise.
Do you want me to come with you? No, I don't want him to know that you're here.
I'll be right out here if you need me.
Okay.
Billy? Hi.
Hi.
How're you doing? - Fine.
- Yeah? Yeah.
Whatever I was feeling before I'm not feeling now.
I'm so sorry, Billy.
It's so weird.
I love you more than anything and I could've seriously hurt you.
It all made sense at the time.
- You know - I hate this.
I hate that my blood makes me crazy.
I hate that I can't function without being chemically altered.
- I hate that I fucked up your life.
- You haven't.
- I did that on my own.
- No, you deserve to be happy.
I don't.
I must have some weird-ass karma.
- We both do.
- No, it's just me.
The fact that I could've hurt you like that upsets me like nothing ever has.
And when I look at you all I want to say is I'm sorry.
Please forgive me.
And inside I feel like tears are streaming down my cheeks.
But they're not, are they? Don't cry.
Please don't cry.
Just because I can't.
You be happy.
I want you to be happy.
I'll be happy if you are.
Okay.
I'm so lost inside.
I wish that I could get out.
- But I don't think I ever will.
- You'll be all right.
- You'll be okay.
- It's all right.
It's okay.
You're so beautiful.
How come there's no home movies of me when I was a kid? I'm not sure.
After I bought that new super-8 camera, we filmed everything the boys did.
After you came along, I guess we sort of felt like, you know been there, done that.
Yeah, I know.
Which made me feel, like, totally secondary, thank you.
Cheer up, kitten.
Maybe some of that attention you never got will motivate you to get off your lazy ass and do something interesting with your life.
I got fired today.
- That sucks.
- Yes, it does.
If you wanna know the truth, I was a victim of sexual harassment.
- What? - Nikolai wanted me to work late to keep me from dinner with Hiram.
When I refused, he fired me.
- Oh, my God.
What a dork! - I know.
Can you believe it? I have a good mind to call a lawyer.
Well, it sounds like you're better off out of there.
I have a certificate in floral arranging.
I can get a job anywhere.
- Screw Nikolai.
- Exactly.
Have you ever thought about getting married? - Sure, I've thought about it, but - We've been together almost a year.
And you practically live at my house.
You've seen me at my worst.
- What other information do you need? - We've been together six months, Bren.
I didn't realize you were counting the days.
- I'm not - What, you mark them off at night? Like a prisoner in his cell, like the Count of fucking Monte Cristo? Since when are you so hot on marriage? Well, I need to know where this is going.
I need to know if I'm wasting my time.
- What if I wanna have children? - Well, you said you didn't.
Well, do you? I mean, you're what, 35? What's the longest relationship you've ever been in? - This one.
- Yeah, well, that's pathetic.
You haven't had a serious relationship since fucking high school.
At least I've had a serious relationship.
At least I know what one is.
You know how many guys would've left after all the psycho shit you've put me through? - Now we're getting to the point.
This is what's really going on, you wanna bail.
No, you want me to bail! Look out! Hey, Augusto's christening is Sunday afternoon.
We're thinking about having a party afterwards.
For my folks and Vanessa's and Well, our place is a little small.
You think we could have it here? Right now, Lilian Montrose's viewing is scheduled for 3 to 6, so Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
I was thinking after that.
I'm only asking because I I still think of your family as my family.
And I really want you all to be there.
Sure.
We'd be happy to let you have the party here.
Thanks, boss.
Could you load me a hypodermic with some phenol solution for this bump? Wouldn't you rather start with a compress? Why? An injection will get rid of the swelling and take care of the bruising.
- You're getting better at this, Dave.
- Thank you, Federico.
Oh, great, now what? Tracy's decided to have Aunt Lilian cremated and her ashes placed in a Faberg'e egg? Can we do it by 7 tonight? - I think you should look at this.
- Well, what is it? Oh, good grief.
Adult female, unrestrained driver, unconscious upon arrival.
Now responsive only to painful stimuli.
Blood pressure, 86/40.
Pulse, 130.
Respiration, 36 and shallow.
- Brenda? - She has a large scalp emulsion.
- Why won't you talk to me? - Trachea's midline, neck veins are flat.
- Lactated ringers.
- What happened? What happened? Patient two, adult male Sir, you've been in an accident.
Just stay calm, okay? Everything's fine.
Adult male, he's alert now but confused, no memory of accident.
- Why is her head in that thing? - She had an injury.
She's gonna be okay.
- Is she dead? - She's fine.
She's gonna be fine.
- How's your sea bass? - Delicious, thank you.
Ruth, I need to tell you something, and - I'm not proud of this.
- What is it? I've met someone.
I never meant for this to happen.
I wasn't looking.
Yes, well, that's always when it does happen.
Well, I'm not sure quite how to Oh, boy.
- I'm not quite sure how to say this.
- For heaven's sake, spit it out.
I'd like to pursue it.
Things between you and I have felt Well, not exactly And I feel a bond with this new person that Well, the beginnings of a bond, that could be something quite profound.
All right.
I thought you'd be more upset.
I would've thought the same thing.
Hiram, please.
Go, explore.
You owe it to yourself and whoever she is.
Maybe the two of you could have something, as you say, profound.
Lord knows we don't.
Well, if it was, this would be a lot more difficult, wouldn't it? Oh, it is difficult for me.
Let's order dessert.
That'll cheer you up.
Hey, you.
Doctor says you're gonna be okay.
Well, I like hearing that.
- What about you? - I'm okay.
Banged up, but apparently nothing broken.
I'm sorry I almost killed you.
Goddamn it.
This is gonna send my car insurance premiums through the roof.
When you were unconscious, I prayed.
You know how long it's been since I prayed? And I've never prayed like this.
So because of me, you've become born again.
I'm so sorry.
You are one incredibly difficult and sometimes infuriating woman.
And I cannot imagine my life without you.
Promise me you'll be a better driver.
Promise me you'll take care of yourself and you'll live as long as you can.
Because I don't know what I'd do if I lost you.
So if you wanna get married, I'm all for it.
Okay, maybe I was overreacting.
Let's just take one step at a time, shall we? Okay.
- Oh, my God.
What a bad dream.
- Yeah.
Father Jack doesn't deny he performed a commitment ceremony for two lesbians.
Privately, not in the church.
The Lambeth Conference resolution on sexuality expressly condemns the blessing of same-sex unions and councils against ordination of those involved.
Whether or not we agree with this resolution Do we really want our children learning from a man that ignores God's laws? I think we should ask Jack to leave.
And so do James and Owen, and I'm guessing David feels the same.
Actually, I don't.
The church rejects homosexual practice as incompatible with Scripture.
So because of their random genetics, gay people should be denied any romantic or sexual love? - That is liberal claptrap.
It's not genetics.
It can be overcome.
Walter, the only way you could know that for sure is if it's something that you overcame.
- And the only way you couldn't know is if it's something you're not strong enough to overcome.
Are you gay, David? Yes.
Then his vote cannot be counted here.
That's ridiculous.
He's a deacon.
He gets a vote.
David does not obey the laws of the church.
Without his vote, it's an even split.
How do you plan to resolve the matter? I think we should get the bishop involved.
You sure you wanna do that? Okay, we talked about the flowers.
I gave you the CD I burned with music for the viewing.
I wish David were here.
I'd much prefer to go over things with him than with some underling, but Oh, no.
No.
No.
This won't do.
What? Well, this right here, there's a nick in the wood.
Oh, no, that's part of the grain.
I don't think so.
All right, well, we'll just have to return it and then get a new one.
That's not possible.
I'm sorry? There's nothing wrong with this casket.
Even if there was, it's too late to get another like it by tomorrow.
- I don't care how much it costs.
This isn't about cost.
There's not another one of these available.
We had to ship this one down from San Francisco as it was.
I'm very unhappy about this.
If you want to call it off, I can bring your aunt's body up and you can take it somewhere else.
Okay? Hello? Hiram, there's nothing to talk about.
No, I'm not angry.
Oh, Mom, I'll probably be spending tonight at a friend's house.
What friend? - Parker McKenna.
- I don't know any Parker.
- Well, you haven't met her yet.
- Oh, good grief! Hiram, you're the one who wanted to break up.
I'm sorry if you're having second thoughts, because I'm not.
Men can be so stupid.
Yeah.
I'd like for you to have Parker's mother call me, okay? Okay.
Oh, Nate, glad you're here.
Need to talk to you later.
- About what? - In private.
Good morning.
How are you this morning? Oh, God.
I was having the most incredible dream.
I was swimming with dolphins.
Only we weren't swimming, we were flying.
Oh, and Drew Barrymore was there.
Whatever you are on, I would like some of it.
She was like my best friend.
- How's your headache today? - It's better.
Oh, my God, and there was this shark following us and I think it was Courtney Love.
- How'd she look? - She was in Versace.
Are we supposed to believe that the same God who made us wants us to be lonely and frustrated while the rest of the world's free to make love and have families? - No, God isn't that cruel.
- Good for you for marrying two lesbians.
- My high school girlfriend.
Who do you think sent that fax? Walter swears it wasn't him.
I am so fucking tired of being ashamed.
We'll just fight back, you and me.
We'll fight them.
Walter's just a bully.
- We'll just bully him back.
- I don't think that's such a good idea.
I've agreed to not officiate at any other gay weddings.
And you get to stay.
- How do you feel about that? - Relieved.
I've put in almost six years here at St.
Bart's.
And I'd really prefer not to have to start over somewhere new.
Not at this point in my life.
And I have a favor to ask of you.
I need you to resign as deacon.
Otherwise, Walter will keep making noise until he gets his way and I'd really prefer not to get the bishop involved.
- Jack, you can't give in to them.
- I know which battles can be won, David.
This is not one of them.
I guess I just thought that you were I don't know, braver than that.
I'm tired.
I'm tired of trying to make it better here and never succeeding because of politics.
I just don't have it in me right now.
But how can you? You're gay.
No, I'm not.
I'm not.
People have always assumed that.
But I'm not.
Sorry.
More Scotch? No, thanks.
I - I really don't wanna be here.
- Oh, get over yourself.
I know you and Parker had sex, so what? You're not the first guy I slept with.
Right, but am I the last? Maybe.
If he's gonna get me in here, I'll use it, but Oh, my God.
What the fuck do these people do? Her father's, like, some movie bigwig.
I think.
Invitation only.
- Okay, this is tragic.
- We can always leave.
Let's just find the bar.
Excuse me? Excuse me, do you know where the bar is? - Over there.
- Right.
- Where's Parker? - It's not her house.
This is a porn party.
I'm telling you, they're shooting a porno here.
What the fuck is that? - Faggot.
- Hey, shut up.
My brother's a faggot.
Oh, yeah.
I'm sorry.
Let's just say hi and leave, okay? Oh, no, this could be kind of fun.
Come on.
- Hey, Parker.
- Hey.
This is a really nice house you've got here.
I know.
So, like, of course I don't get to live here.
I just get to trash it when they're gone.
This is Warren.
This is Claire.
- Nice to meet you.
- And Gabriel.
This is what concerns me, this area of decreased attenuation.
It's very faint.
Doesn't look like there's an acute injury, but something's not right.
Well, she's gonna be all right, isn't she? These are your CAT scan results, Nate.
- Mine? - Don't worry about Brenda.
Hers was totally clean.
So, what do you think it is? I'd like to give you a shot of contrast dye and do another CAT scan to really know.
Oh, hello, Mrs.
Fisher? This is Elise McKenna, Parker's stepmother.
Claire asked me to call you.
Yes, I just wanted to be sure there's proper adult supervision if she's staying there.
- Oh, absolutely.
Yes, of course.
Don't worry for a minute.
All right, then, I don't want her drinking.
There isn 't even any liquor in the house, You see, my husband and I are both alcoholics.
And Parker's fresh out of rehab.
So we'll take really good care of Claire.
I promise, Kisses, - That was mean.
- What? A Hollywood ass-waxing party.
- Everybody's wearing leather or rubber.
- Seriously, bro, seriously.
- Rip those fucking nipple-rings out.
- No shit.
Where were you last night? I called you, and your mom was all, "I don't know.
" I was hanging with my girl.
Okay, well, while you were getting your toes sucked we sucked down a free sixer from 7-Eleven.
- Fuck, we pulled a beer cow.
- A beer cow, dude, that's the shit.
Hell yeah, a fucking beer cow.
Dink, shut the fuck up, dude.
What the fuck is a beer cow? Oh, shit, it was mad.
So we go to buy some beer, right? And we get to the counter, but it's like, nobody has enough cash.
So Dink just starts fucking mooing at the top of his lungs at this guy, right? So I'm like, "Fuck it.
" So I start mooing too.
Oh, yeah, but really fucking loud.
Like we just might totally go nuts.
The guy was so fucking scared of us.
It was hilarious, man.
It was a total movie moment.
Fuck yeah, and then we grab all the beer and we fly.
We laughed for, like, five straight hours.
It was the shit.
Yeah, dude.
A beer cow, right? We gotta do that shit again, man.
I haven't had that much fun since I was, like, 6.
- Fucking beer cow, right? - Yeah.
Fuck.
Well we did find something that concerns me.
My guess would be that it's AVM.
- Arteriovenous malformation.
- What the fuck is that? Abnormally enlarged and intertwined blood vessels in your brain.
Have you been experiencing any headaches? Yeah, I get headaches.
I take Advil, they go away.
Any vertigo, nausea, problems with your balance? Nope.
- Any fluctuation in your field of vision? - Like what? Like a fluttering in your peripheral vision? - Once.
- Do the headaches seem to affect one side of the head more than the other? The left side.
Sometimes.
Well, I would like to schedule an MRI for you as soon as possible.
What's the worst-case scenario here? - Nate, it's way too early for that.
- You fucking tell me.
Not all vascular malfunctions of the brain become symptomatic.
Some, however, carry a significant risk of hemorrhage.
So I could have a stroke? You could be at a higher risk for stroke or seizure than most.
We need to do more tests to be certain.
Could I die from this? It's possible.
Yes.
There's gotta be some kind of mistake.
I mean, I don't smoke.
I haven't had any red meat since 1989.
I run three miles a day.
Don't blow this out of proportion.
There are treatments, surgical options.
Even if it is AVM, you could live for another 50 years.
However, I would like to run a full cardiovascular profile on you before you continue with the running, okay? This happened yesterday? For heaven's sake, why didn't you call me earlier? Because I thought I was okay.
- Well, you are okay, aren't you? - Yeah.
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm a nervous wreck.
Are you all right, dear? Yes, thank you.
Well, I want you both to promise me that you'll be more careful from now on.
We promise.
Oh, boy.
This time it's personal.
What's wrong? Nothing.
- So how old did you say you were? - How old do you want me to be? Parker? - Oh, of course.
Sorry.
- What do you want? Nothing, I was just looking for Gabe.
I'm sorry.
You drop a beer, you have to pay for it.
No, no, no, no.
Moo.
Moo.
Hey, say "moo.
" - Where the fuck did you get that? - Say "moo.
" - Moo.
- Now get the money out of the register.
Go get the fucking car! Moo.
- So do you think I should resign? - What do you want to do? I don't wanna belong to a church that's so intolerant.
And I don't wanna waste my time with a fight that can't be won.
But I don't wanna just take it either.
I've been doing that my whole fucking life, and I'm fucking sick to death of it.
And to top it all off, I'm scheduled to do a devotional reading in Mass tomorrow.
- You gonna do it? - Of course.
They're not gonna intimidate me into just disappearing.
Oh, I came out to my mother.
- You're kidding.
- It was really uncomfortable.
- How's she taking it? - Hard to tell.
She's as weird as always.
Thanks for meeting me here today.
I just had to talk about it to somebody.
And I could always talk to you.
Well, I'm glad that we've managed to remain friends.
Listen, I gotta run.
I'm meeting Eddie later.
Hey, he said he saw you at the candlelight vigil for Marc Foster.
Yeah, yeah, I was driving by on my way home.
Okay.
Well, thanks again.
Yeah, well, let me know how it all turns out.
I will.
- Take care, David.
- You too.
Tell Eddie I said hi.
Don't you wanna do what those really cool kids in there are doing? No.
Where's your boyfriend? I don't know.
I like him.
- You do? - Yeah, something about him.
Can't quite put my finger on it.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Where'd you go? We just went to get some more beer.
- Why, did you miss me? - Not that much, ego man.
Hi.
Can I help you? I'd like to speak to David, if at all possible.
Well, he's not here right now.
- Well, where is he? - I'm not sure.
Perhaps I can help you.
Perhaps you can.
That remains to be seen.
My aunt's viewing is tomorrow.
And I'm not at all satisfied with the state of her casket.
I spoke to one of your other employees about it earlier today and he didn't seem to be the slightest bit concerned.
I'll show you.
I'll show you.
See? Right here.
It's been nicked.
How about we take 100 bucks off? - I want a new casket.
- Well, I'm not sure that's an option.
Why does nobody around here seem to care about doing things right? If I'm not mistaken, you haven't even signed a contract, right? - That's not the point.
- So you could turn around in the end say, "I never agreed," and not pay? - Of course not, that's ridiculous.
Yeah, that is ridiculous.
So I'm gonna go get that contract right now and until you sign it, you don't get to complain about anything else.
I resent your implication.
You ought to be thanking your fucking stars that you're alive and healthy.
And that you don't work like a dog just to starve or get shot in the street.
I'll be right back with that contract.
I thought this is what you wanted.
It's too little too late.
What, are you trying to get your wings? - Where's your boyfriend? I do like him.
- Yeah, you said that already.
He'll be headed over to my neck of the woods pretty soon.
Right here.
Look at this.
- Yeah.
- I like it.
Why you are here? You're fired.
Dear Lord, have you been here all night? Go drive in the woods with your man who burns chicken in the funny little toy car.
I came here to get my things before I go to church.
I thought this would be a safe time not to run into you.
- Is he rich? - What? No.
So he is a good lover, yeah? That's none of your business.
Because you are the kind of woman who needs a good lover.
Oh, and why is that? Because you're so scared of feeling.
You are scared of your own heart.
You should have a man who can touch you there.
Who sees your beauty.
I hoping he is this man for you.
In your steadfast faith and love, that through your grace we may proclaim your truth with boldness and minister your justice with compassion.
For the sake of our savior, Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.
Amen.
Amen.
"In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust.
Let me never be ashamed.
Deliver me in thy righteousness.
" "Let me never be ashamed.
" There's a concept.
I've been ashamed my entire life.
I grew up thinking I was unworthy in the eyes of God instead of trusting God not to be an ignorant, frightened bigot.
Because of this, I've made myself crazy.
I've put myself in danger, I've made a lot of mistakes.
Big mistakes.
Which all could've been avoided if I'd just had faith.
Faith that maybe God really is love, like we say.
How am I supposed to spread God's love throughout the world when I deny it to myself? God be with you all.
- Really nice job.
- Thanks.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
- Oh, David, wonderful.
Good to see you.
- Thanks.
Thank you.
David! I am so proud of you.
That was great, David.
- I didn't even know you were here.
- I had to see what you were gonna do.
We're gonna get something to eat, why don't you come? Yeah, Fred 62 in Los Feliz.
Maybe a movie afterwards.
No, I can't.
I've gotta work.
Okay, well, congratulations.
You spoke the truth.
Thank you.
Take care.
Okay, well don't be a stranger.
We go for big breakfast now, yeah? No, I can't.
I'm sorry.
But it's Sunday.
I can't believe I missed church.
My son was giving a reading during the service.
- You are happy, no? - Yes, I'm very happy.
- I'm never gonna marry you.
- What? I will be your friend and your lover, but I will never be your wife.
I spent the first half of my life doing that, I don't need to do it again.
- Maybe I can convince you.
- Nope.
Not going to happen.
Nate.
Mom told me about the accident.
Are you all right? Yeah.
Yeah, I'm fine.
Thanks for making Tracy sign that contract.
I don't know if you've noticed this, but she's kind of crazy.
Yeah, I got a whiff of that.
And thanks for staying in L.
A.
And helping me run the business.
Things have been a lot more fun around here since you've been home.
Why, thank you, Dave.
Look, I'm gonna be late for Augusto's christening.
I gotta run.
Oh, that crazy-ass niece is upstairs crying and won't come down.
Oh, no, I think this one is yours.
Okay.
But I'm warning you, I might just fucking punch her.
Tracy? My Aunt Lilian was the only person who ever really loved me.
My parents didn't.
My husband certainly didn't.
And now she's dead.
Her husband died, then her daughter died too in this car crash on her 17th birthday.
But Aunt Lilian just went on.
She raised Welsh corgis and she took up watercolors and she loved me.
And now she's dead.
I've never felt this alone in the world.
And I'm used to feeling alone.
I know what that's like.
And now I find out that there's this whole new level.
Why do people have to die? To make life important.
None of us know how long we've got.
Which is why we have to make each day matter.
And it sounds like your Aunt Lilian did exactly that.
- Yeah, she did.
- Then you can be happy for her.
For a life well-lived.
That's the most any of us can hope for.
I go to funerals sometimes.
Funerals of people I don't even know.
Harold and Maude is, like, my favorite movie of all time.
I saw it when I was in junior high and it profoundly affected my life.
It's a great movie.
You're very kind.
Are you married? Sort of.
Come on in.
Julio! Get over here, man! Baby, does that dead lady have to be in here? No.
No, I'll take her downstairs right now.
Get over here.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you.
What's up with you? I'm just thinking about how lucky I am.
I love you.
You know that, right? Yeah.