So Random! (2011) s01e13 Episode Script

Give it up for the cast of "so random!" Hey, everybody.
Welcome to the show.
We've got a great one for you tonight.
What was that? Oh, you know what? That's probably my pizza.
One second.
- Really? Your pizza? - What? Grady.
Grady.
Grady! Yeah yeah yeah yeah? We're in the middle of a show here.
- Oh, cool.
- Yeah? How rude! Oh, that's for me.
What did you order, more food? No, that would be weird.
- I got myself an angry clown.
- Ooh, yay.
- What? - No, you didn't.
Oh.
Pow! - Ooh.
- Oh! All right, now what? That's Chelsea Kane.
I ordered her to save this opening.
- No way.
- Yeah.
You don't know her.
Yeah, no, I don't think so.
Nope.
All right, who's the funny guy that ordered an actual cane? - Who did it? - I did.
It's the only way to fend off an angry clown.
Oh my oh my God.
It's it's Chelsea Kane.
Do you do you want some of my pizza? You know, I'm good.
Yeah, maybe in a minute.
- Ok okay.
- See you in a second.
- I'll hold you to that.
- See you.
Oh great, it's Chelsea Kane.
No no no! Stick around! Hot Chelle Rae is here! And I'm gonna clobber a clown.
No! Please! Ah! Please! Somebody help! "So random!" it's a party, get down - "so random!" - It's a party, get down ♪ "so random!" ♪ ♪ it's a party, get down ♪ ♪ shake that, shake that all around ♪ a fantastic journey, a little bit of this and that you know we gonna chill, might not come back so if you're ready, get set 'cause it's time to roll with "so random!" Stuff that's out of control surprises flying 'cause life's a riot so ride with us 'cause you need to try it we're on the way, it's time to hang so let's get random and do our thing come on It's a party, get down "so random!" it's a party, get down "so random!" it's a party, get down shake that, shake that all around "so random!" Toilet paper, oranges and a car tire.
Gosh, I love these super stores.
Oh gee, sorry there, sir.
Sorry about that.
Hello.
Welcome to volde-mart's.
Thank you for choosing us for all of your home shopping needs.
Volde-mart's? Oh boy.
Wrong mart.
We'll just be on our way then.
- Come on, Jerry.
- Get back here! I want to see your face.
I want to see the light leave your eyes when I tell you of our discounts on diapers, dog treats and get-well cards.
I can use some diapers.
I, uh, suddenly hunger for dog treats.
Yes, you do.
Yes, you do.
Be sure to keep an eye out for our volde-markdowns.
It's a play on words.
I thought of it.
Hey, no nose.
Uh, I accidentally spilled some mouthwash on aisle two.
- Did you? - Accidents happen, no noseph.
Nicknames, yes.
Richonda, clean up on aisle two.
Ah Deadlocks.
Oh, Mr.
Voldemort, the new mannequin came in.
Do you want me to set him up? Do nothing! He's mine! He's mine to finish! Avada kedavra! There we are.
Now the world will look upon volde-mart's and know we're having a sale on board shorts and sports bras.
Um, does this go into men's sports or women's intimates? Choose wisely, Eugene.
Choose wisely.
Nuh-uh-uh-uh-uh.
Potter! Harry Potter, what are you doing here? Oh man, every time I come here, you ask me that question.
I'm not Harry Potter, all right? I'm a hairy guy who delivers pots, okay? - But you're so weak.
- But I push the cart.
You're so vulnerable.
You have the scar of the chosen one.
Oh yeah, that's a barber accident.
All right, all right, okay.
You know, as long as I'm still here, I should pick up some ointment for this guy.
Harry Potter, the boy who lived, come to buy ointment.
Yeah, I'm sorry, but this will be the last time United parseltongue delivers to this store.
Now where's that ointment, voldie? Ah.
More nicknames.
- Just shortened your name.
- Oh, richonda, where was that ointment I know we just got in? Yeah.
This'll look good on me.
Huh? Hi, I'm looking for the excuse me, I'm trying to find Is this the right direction to Can anyone just stop and give me a hand? Bonjour! Did someone say they were looking for a hand? The name is Nolan.
What is your name, ma cherie? Uh, I'm Zoey.
Ah, Zoey, let me guess you are how you say new to this school? Can you help me? I just want to fit in.
You've come to the right hand, as opposed to the left hand.
That was a joke.
I have only a handful of jokes.
That was another one.
Ah but, Zoey, we are talking about you and your troubles.
Well, what can I do? Lose the piggies eh, eh? Let your golden locks flow free.
- Ooh-la-la! Nolan? Nolan? Hmm.
Oh well.
Zoey? Zoey? Nolan, you made two classic mistakes You feel in love with a girl you are helping, and you stood in front of a door! You've got to use your croissant.
Think think! The name is Nolan.
You know, I'm glad we're seeing a movie with Theresa and her new boyfriend Max.
- I can't wait to meet him.
- I don't know.
They're kind of weird together and certain words set them off.
- Like what? - Okay, for instance, never say Oh, they're coming.
Just trust me, okay? - Okay.
- Hi, guys.
Hi, sis.
Steve, this is Max.
- Hey.
- Hey, how's it going, man? Well, we've got a couple of minutes, so help yourselves - to some chips and - Ba-ba-ba I'm just offering them some chips Don't say "salsa"! Salsa! Oh no, I cannot believe I just said "salsa.
" - Salsa! - Here it comes.
- What's happening? - I told you, certain words set them off.
Guys guys, stop please.
- Come on, public place! Public place! - Ay ay ay! So, Steve, hey, Theresa tells me you're Captain of the golf team.
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, actually, I have one heck of a - don't say "swing.
" - Swing! Swing! A-swing a-swing a-swing.
One a-two, a-one two three four.
- I missed you.
- Yeah.
O okay.
Hey.
Whoo! Ugh! Dude, this is some funky chicken.
Funky chicken! Okay.
Guys, there's nothing funky about that.
Ow ow! He's biting me! Okay, that's a cock-a-doodle don't! Oh, I was gonna eat that.
What are you guys Mashed potato? Mashed potato! Guys, that's completely that's completely outdated.
- I'm mashing you.
I'm mashing you.
- Making gravy, making gravy.
I officially don't like gravy or potatoes anymore, - so thank you.
- Guys, come on.
We've gotta get running, man.
- The movie's about to start.
- Running man! What have I done? What I have done? Okay, the running man? This is not the '9os.
- Can you stop, please? - It wasn't even popular then.
Nice work, you jerk.
Jerk! Oh, who's the jerk now, huh? Well, that's obviously not the jerk that I know.
- I have never seen this.
- I've never seen this before.
- Oh! - Really weird.
Okay.
- Pushing me into a corner! - Guys.
Guys.
You know, esa-pekka, you're very tall for someone from Finland.
- I do not like where this is going.
- What do you mean? I bet where you're from, they call you - Wait for it.
- The big finnish.
The big finish! They've gotta get tired at some point.
- Really? - Sis, you're really embarrassing yourself now.
Guys, this is more than a bit embarrassing.
What is that? That's not even What kind of signature move is that? Oh, now he's break now he's breakdancing.
Great.
That's just great.
- Well - Whoa! Well, I guess we're not seeing the movie.
Great.
Forget them.
Let's just go.
Yeah, don't need to Twist my arm.
Twist! Coming up next on "so random!" Supersized sunglass sass-off! Lady Gaga? Zoey! "So random!" Zoey! Zoey! Oh, where are you, mon amour? - Zoey! - Nolan.
Zoey.
I had almost completely forgotten about you.
So has your day improved? It has and it's entirely because of you.
Moi? You're making me blush.
I don't know what to say.
- I am thumb-tied.
So would you like to share a pot of fondue with Hey, new girl, wanna watch me shoot some hoops? Excuse-moi, monsieur jock! She was talking to the most handsome student here.
- Get it? Hand-some? That was another hand joke.
Oh, wait, are you you two, like Oh, no no no no.
We're just friends.
See you later, Nolan? Sure sure.
No skin off my knuckles.
Bye.
Zoey! We were going to share a pot of fondue.
Uh-oh.
Nolan, you let yourself get locked in your own locker! You've got to use your croissant! Think think! The name is Nolan.
Sure is nice of you to be my date for the prom, Laurie.
- No biggie.
- And thanks for buying me this nice boutonniere.
- No biggie.
- And those sunglasses sure are cool.
Oh, now my sunglasses they're a biggie.
Yeah, those are big a big mistake.
Look, if you wanna cover your eyes, you have to supersize like me, ray-banna.
Right, tortoiseshelley? Right, ray-banna.
Those frames are totally lames.
You can't see it, but we're rolling our eyes at you.
What's going on? See, if you wanna be the queen of this prom, then your sunglasses have got to be the bomb.
Ladies, ladies, prom's the one night where we can put our fashion differences aside.
Yeah, otherwise we'd just look ridiculous.
- What what? A'ight.
- Whoo! I'll tell y'all what's ridiculous! Leann rims! Those itty-bitty city glasses.
Why, they are the size of my small home town Tiny glasses, Arkansas.
- Ooh! - Oh, no kidding! She told you.
- Can we just dance? - That's not how it's done, boy.
We are trapped in the middle of a supersized sunglass sass-off.
- What? - She said you're caught in the middle of a supersized sunglass sass-off.
Ain't that right, my little Georgia peach? You call that supersized? Shady Gaga! Yeah, that's right.
I thought the theme of this prom was winter wonderland, not winter wonder- what-you-were-thinking When-you-woke-up-and-decided- to-put-on-those-shades.
- Lame! Whoo! - Oh! Ugh! She can't even look at you.
I guess it's time for this lady to teach little miss Shady a thing or two about Southern glass-pitality.
Whoo! Oh! Oh! Oh no, she didn't.
Didn't what? What's glass-pitality? It's a clever play on words, boy.
- I think we all know where this is headed.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
No.
No, we don't know where this is headed at all.
This sass-off is officially a glass-off! - Ooh! - Oh! Oh! Come on! This is homecoming 2010 all over again.
We'd better back off of the glass-off.
- Let's get the sag out of here.
- Yeah, sag to the exit.
Why don't you stay and watch? - We're gonna watch.
We're gonna watch.
- Please let me go.
I don't wanna watch this.
Oh, it is on like small shades on your mom.
Come at me, darling! Ow ow! Look out! My eyes! It's so bright! My eyes, my eyes! I can't see a thing! You know I guess those big sunglasses are pretty stupid.
Yeah, but that dance sure is cool.
Coming up next on "so random!" Nolan.
Zoey, she is dead to me.
Going at it tonight tonight there's a party on the rooftop - top of the world - "So random!" Hello.
Anyone out there? Hey, look, someone's waving a little french flag.
You know what that means.
Nolan.
Water.
Water.
I don't speak french, Nolan.
What are you trying to say? What were you doing inside your locker? Ah.
I thought I had Zoey in the palm of my hand.
But alas, she slipped right through my fingers.
That was not another one of my hand jokes.
Okay.
You just have to forget about Zoey and move on.
Zoey? She is dead to me.
- Nolan.
- Zoey! You're alive to me! I was watching Randy shoot hoops and all I could think about was you.
Moi? Aww.
- Oof! I have a cramp.
- In your hand? In my style.
You two, scoot.
Oh! Oh! We're leaving.
Now where were we? The name is Nolan.
Give it up for Hot Chelle Rae! It's been a really really messed up week seven days of torture, seven days of bitter and my girlfriend went and cheated on me she's a California dime, but it's time for me to quit her la la la, whatever la la la, it doesn't matter la la la, oh well, la la la we're going at it tonight tonight there's a party on the rooftop top of the world, tonight tonight and we're dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign I don't know if I'll make it but watch how good I'll fake it it's all right, all right, tonight tonight I woke up from a crazy dream I was flying to the moon in a super bottle rocket and the pilot looked just like me mixed with Zach galifianakis, huh! la la la, whatever la la la, it doesn't matter la la la, oh well, la la la we're going at it tonight tonight there's a party on the rooftop top of the world, tonight tonight and we're dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign I don't know if I'll make it but watch how good I'll fake it it's all right, all right, tonight tonight just sing it like oh oh oh come on! Oh oh oh it doesn't matter, oh oh oh, oh oh oh, Whoo! just don't stop, let's keep the beat pumping keep the beat up, let's drop the beat down it's my party, dance if I want to we can get crazy, let it all out just don't stop, let's keep the beat pumping keep the beat up, let's drop the beat down it's my party, dance if I want to we can get crazy, let it all out it's you and me and we're running this town it's me and you and we're shaking the ground and ain't nobody gonna tell us to go 'cause this is our show everybody, oh oh oh - come on! - Oh oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh tonight tonight, there's a party on the rooftop, top of the world, tonight tonight and we're dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign I don't know if I'll make it but watch how good I'll fake it it's all right, all right, tonight tonight yeah, it's all right, all right tonight tonight yeah, it's all right, all right tonight tonight just sing it like oh oh oh come on! Oh oh oh, all you party people - oh oh oh - All you singletons - oh oh oh - Even the cool kids just don't stop, let's keep the beat jumping keep the beat up, let's drop the beat down it's my party, dance if I want to we can get crazy, let it all out just don't stop, let's keep the beat pumping keep the beat up, let's drop the beat down it's my party, dance if I want to we can get crazy, let it all out! Everybody give it up for Hot Chelle Rae! Say it! Let's give it up for special guest Chelsea Kane! Whoo! Thank you.
Good night, everybody.
Shake that, shake that all around "so random!" - it's a party, get down - "So random!" - it's a party, get down - "So random!" it's a party, get down shake that, shake that all around "so random!"