Stripperella (2003) s01e13 Episode Script
The Curse of the WereBeaver
1
Satan's got some books to sell
the ink is blood
and it's printed in hell
turn up the volume of satanica
bring your soul
and your harmonica
yeah
Encyclopedia
Aaah!
Ooof!
What the heck was that?
Hello?
If somebody's there,
please don't kill me.
Take me back to your cabin
and make me your
sex slave if you must.
Dress me up like
a little school girl,
tell me I'm naughty and
then paddle me oh so hard,
but please don't kill me.
Oh, it's just a beaver.
Who's a pretty little beaver?
You are.
Hey, why are you all
glowin' there, little fella
Aaah!
Oww aaah!
Stupid glowing beaver bit me!
Hmm, that's odd.
I suddenly have a strong
desire to chew wood.
You know what,
I think I'm gonna build a dam.
That sounds like a lot of fun.
I've never built a dam before.
What is going on?
What's
Happening to me?
Aaahhh!!
And then, earlier today,
I went to El medo burrito
and got one of them
two-pound bean burritos
and I have just had
the worst diarrhea.
That's funny
"the worst diarrhea."
It's not like you can have
the best diarrhea.
Diarrhea's diarrhea.
Ha ha ha
Let's hear it for Erotica
Make sure you
tip her good, fellas,
'cause she owes me three dollars
from lunch the other day.
Okay, sir, that will be $20,
plus any gratuity would be
much appreciated.
Sir, I'm talking to you.
That's rude, I would
appreciate a response.
Sir?
I can't believe he's dead!
Oh, this is horrible!
I know, he seemed so young
and full of life.
Life, schmife,
we are gonna get sued!
I feel awful.
I never killed anyone before!
That poor dead man!
Giselle, it's not your fault.
I mean, sure, you're
the one that excited him
and that's what triggered
his heart attack,
but it could have
been any of us.
Well
We should probably
take down that sign.
Wow
The middle of the woods
on a dark and foggy night
so far away from civilization
that no one could hear us scream
if something horrible happened.
It's so romantic.
What was that?
I don't know, I heard it, too.
Well, go see what it was.
Just out walking my dog.
Sorry about the creepy howling.
Just out walking my pet bear.
Sorry about the creepy growling.
This sculpture is an
almost perfect recreation
of an actual tree.
The artist cut down
and used the wood
from over 500 actual redwoods
to construct this majestic
tribute to trees.
Without further ado,
I, mayor Samuelson give to you
the giant Woody!
Ahhh
Ahhh
I think this was a sign.
Maybe it's time for me
to hang up my g-string
and go into politics
or something.
How can you say that?
You can't just give up,
it was an accident!
Think of all the guys that
you've given lap dances to
that haven't died.
Oh, Harold, I told you
not to go to the strip club.
Ma'am, I was the one that
accidentally lap-danced
your husband to death.
And, if it's any consolation,
he seemed real happy
right before he died.
Also, I really believe he
knew it was his time to go.
In fact, his last words were,
"Jesus, I'm coming, here I come!
Oh, god,
Jesus, here I come!"
Excuse me widow ma'am,
I am the manager
here at the tenderloins
and I just wanted to express
my sincere condolences
and say that if there is
anything we can do,
please don't hesitate to ask.
By the way,
this in no way constitutes
an admission of guilt
or culpability
either financial or legal.
Agent 69 here.
What's going on, chief?
A giant beaver is
threatening the well-being
of the citizens of
our great city.
What?
Did you say "giant beaver"?
Calm down, get a grip
on yourself, damn it!
This is no time to panic!
I'm not panicking,
I'm merely asking if
Well, you should be panicking!
This is a serious situation.
People and anything made of
wood are in danger!
The beaver's already
attacked several lumber yards
built several subpar dams
that aren't up to code
and devoured
the entire woodwind section
of the philharmonic orchestra!
That's awful!
I know
I had tickets for
tonight's performance.
Now, get out there
and do something
superhero/secret-agenty.
What's going on?
It's some sort of animal!
Kids, quick, climb out!
I can't hold on much longer!
Wow, you're Stripperella!
I know.
Please climb out.
Hurry!
Are you kids okay?
I guess so.
You ruined our bikes!
I saved your lives.
Yeah, but you ruined our bikes!
Argh
If you'll excuse me,
I've gotta go bag a beaver.
Hey, beaver, want some wood?
Super hairspray, do your stuff!
Gotcha!
You're not going anywhere,
that hairspray is ultra-hold.
Plus, it has
enriched vitamin complex
to help keep your hair
shiny and bright.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah, boy, Stripperella
caught the beaver!
Now let's kill it!
I've already caught it.
There's no need for violence.
He's destroying our city.
He's a danger to our
children and our wood!
He raised our taxes really high!
Isn't this the mob
to recall the mayor?
No, this is the mob to
destroy the giant beaver.
Oh, sorry, wrong mob.
Kill the beaver,
kill the beaver
Stop, you're hurting it!
Ja, Stripperella, get it
with your laser lipstick!
Look, he's gettin' away!
Stripperella let him get away!
Booo!
Booo!
I know we're all
concerned, and well,
y'know, a little baffled about
the giant, six-foot beaver
that's been terrorizing
our community.
Yeah, uh, mayor,
I just wanted to remind everyone
that we still need volunteers
for the bake sale this weekend.
Mitchell, now is really
not the time.
We are dealing with
a more pressing issue.
Now, for all we know,
there won't be a bake sale.
You're gonna cancel
the bake sale?
No, now, I didn't say that.
Well, I kinda need to know.
It takes me a long time to
make my delicious popovers
and I was gonna start tonight.
Forget the damn popovers!
What are we gonna
do about the beaver!
Yeah!
Stripperella sure
ain't gonna help us,
she let the beaver go!
I had to let it go
I mean, she had to let it go.
Probably because the angry mob
was trying to kill it.
I'm sure if Stripperella
were here and she's not
She would say that the beaver is
just a poor defenseless animal
who probably has no idea
that it's causing any harm.
Then, she would say that
we need to find a way
to capture it, humanely.
Yeah, let's capture it humanely!
Then we can torture and kill it.
You kinda missed the point.
The beaver's a menace,
it has to be killed!
It ate my house!
It dammed up my swimming pool!
He devoured me' pegleg!
Argh!
I was once bitten
by an odd, glowing beaver,
so I know, first hand,
how dangerous they can be.
It has to be killed!
Come on, everybody,
let's all chant!
Kill the beaver
Kill the beaver,
kill the beaver,
kill the beaver!
Now, just the girls.
Kill the beaver,
kill the beaver,
kill the beaver!
I'll kill your beaver for ya,
but it's gonna cost ya.
Who's that?
That's Lance Shaw,
beaver hunter.
He's gotten more tail
than anyone I've ever met.
For $1,500 I'll
catch 'er and kill 'er.
For $2,000 I'll catch 'er,
kill 'er, skin her
and cook 'er up for dinner.
Eww, who would wanna eat beaver?
For $3,000 I'll catch her,
kill her, cook her
and make her skin into a bikini.
For $27.95, I'll do all that
while wearing a dress.
So, do we have a deal?
We have no other choice,
you're hired.
Kill the beaver kill the beaver
kill the beaver
Kill the beaver
kill the beaver kill the beaver
kill the beaver
Kill the beaver
wait! We can
catch it safely.
Sorry, lady,
we want the beaver dead!
Kill the beaver,
kill the beaver
That's some beaver shot.
That is the biggest, hairiest
beaver I've ever seen.
There's got to be a way
to capture the beaver
before the beaver hunter
kills it
and cooks it and skins it
and turns its hide
into a bikini!
Ah, it's not
going to be that simple.
Ah, special agent 14.
What are you talking about?
We've taken samples of
the beaver's saliva and d.N.A.
And we have determined that
we are not dealing with
just a regular,
ordinary giant evil beaver.
What we have here
is a werebeaver.
Werebeaver?
The legend says that a man who
is bitten by the werebeaver
will himself become a werebeaver
when the moon is a 3/4
waxing Crescent.
If this really is a werebeaver,
then we have to find a way
to turn him back into a man.
Then I can hurt him
as much as I want
and not feel bad.
All I have to do is find him.
Bingo!
Midnight tonight at
jolly land amusement park.
The grand opening of
the extreminator,
the world's largest roller
coaster made entirely of wood.
Well, Stripperella,
I think your beaver
is about to be exposed.
Darn it!
Hmm, number two.
Hey, Larry, how's it shaking?
Oh, man, I had a rough night.
I don't remember anything.
This morning
I woke up in the woods
I was naked and covered
in sawdust and blood
and my face
was full of splinters
and my breath smelled like wood.
Oh, no big deal,
that happens to me all the time.
Man, I can't wait
to get off work.
I'm gonna check out that new
roller coaster at jolly land.
Wanna go?
Oh, no thanks, last time
I went on a roller coaster
I was sitting behind
this overweight lady
who's seat belt broke,
and we went through
one of those low tunnels
and she got decapitated.
I spent the rest of the ride
with her severed head in my lap
and, since then,
I've just had this thing
about roller coasters.
And overweight people.
You sure you don't wanna go?
The roller coaster's made
entirely out of wood.
Can you imagine
how much wood they used?
I mean, just think about
all that wood.
Wood, huh?
Hey, it's a little
stuffy in here.
Why don't I open the window
and let a little moonlight in.
Sure, a little moonlight
would be nice.
Wow, look at that moon.
Would you say
that's a half moon?
No, more like 3/4
waxing Crescent.
Yeah, definitely
a 3/4 waxing Crescent.
Hey, you aren't Larry.
The extreminator
opens in one hour.
I'm sure the werebeaver's
gonna show up.
I have to get there to
make sure no one gets hurt,
including the beaver.
Don't worry, Stripperella,
we've been doing
a lot of beaver research.
Before today, we really
knew nothing about beavers.
I've never even seen
a real beaver before.
Just pictures in magazines.
Oh, I have, once.
But it was
a long time ago at camp.
Anyway, using the hair
of the beaver,
we developed an antidote
that will transform it
back to a regular man.
Or a woman.
We put the formula
in this silver syringe.
Ah, I get it.
Silver can defeat
the werebeaver.
No, we just happened to have
a silver syringe lying around.
Okay, so all I have to do
is give the beaver
a little injection?
I'm afraid it's
not going to be that easy
to prick the beaver,
its fur is very thick.
You'll never be able
to penetrate it.
So, first, you're
going to have to remove
a small patch of
the beaver's hair.
I have to shave the beaver?
You can use this
laser hair remover.
Hal got that from his mother.
She uses it to
remove her moustache.
Does not!
She uses it on her back.
Thanks guys, good work.
I'm off to
stick it to the beaver.
Good evening, wooden
roller coaster lovers!
Now, we couldn't find
a tarp big enough
to cover
the entire roller coaster
so thank y'all for
covering your eyes.
On behalf of the jolly llama
and myself, the mayor,
I present to you,
the extreminator!
You can open your eyes now.
Whoa!
Wow!
Wood!
This scar's from a beaver
I conquered in Madagascar
back in '87.
These days I won't get near
a beaver without protection.
The beaver!
Hey, that's not a llama!
This is a guy in a llama suit!
I'm so sorry.
You're the jolly llama.
I thought you were
the werebeaver and
Look, the beaver!
Oh, no!
The wood he's eating could
cause the track to collapse!
Those people will be killed!
Stop the ride!
Well, I know,
but there's no stop button.
See, it's on back order.
Apparently the company
accidentally sent
two start buttons and
Ugh!
That's what I call
a beautiful beaver.
I can't wait to stuff you
and mount you.
But first, I gotta kill ya.
Say goodbye, beaver.
Aahhh!
Oh, no!
Aaahh!
Aaahh!
The antidote!
Aahh
What happened?
You turned into a giant,
rampaging werebeaver.
I had to inject you with
an antidote to turn you back.
Really?
So, I was screaming for
the beaver to be killed
but all that time
I really was the beaver?
Ironic, huh?
I see now that
killing beavers is wrong.
Beavers are warm and
sensitive animals.
They should be stroked
and kissed and caressed
and played with until their
cute little lips open wide
and quiver with excitement.
Sure, sometimes
they like it rough
and you need to be
firm with them,
but not kill them,
it's just not right.
You've learned
a valuable lesson today.
And, if you're interested,
we could use a guy like you
in my a.N.U.S.
Oh, you mean your charity,
"animals need
universal support"?
Now that I'm enlightened,
I would love to be
involved with your a.N.U.S.
You know you're naked, right?
Oh my god.
And so once again
the city is safe
and Stripperella
has saved the day.
In a related story,
former-werebeaver, Larry Talbot
has signed a deal
to turn his story
into a crappy made-for-TV movie.
Wow, that stipperella
sure is amazing.
Yeah, she sure is.
I wish I could meet
someone just like her.
Only bigger and sweatier
and maybe named Charlie.
Well, this is it, I'm quitting.
I just wanted to say bye.
Giselle, you can't leave.
Erotic dancing is your life.
I'll just have to
get me a new life.
A bizarre twist
in the story of the man
who was lap-danced to death
at the tenderloins
gentleman's club
Wait, Giselle, look at this.
Investigators have discovered
that the deceased man,
Harold mills,
didn't actually die of natural
causes as previously believed.
It turns out he was murdered
by his wife, Beatrice.
She confessed to the crime
and admitted she did it
because she was angry at him
for always going to strip clubs.
Police found traces of
arousitol in his system,
which, when taken in high doses,
can trigger a heart attack
if the drug user becomes
aroused during a lap dance.
Isn't that neat?
In a related story,
Beatrice mills
has signed a deal
to turn her story
into a crappy made-for-TV movie.
Giselle, it's not your fault!
He was murdered,
isn't that great?
It was murder!
Oh, I'm so happy!
Sir?
Would you like a lap dance.
I was gonna go take a leak,
but why not?
Ugh!
Thank you, so much.
That's my Giselle.
Satan's got some books to sell
the ink is blood
and it's printed in hell
turn up the volume of satanica
bring your soul
and your harmonica
yeah
Encyclopedia
Aaah!
Ooof!
What the heck was that?
Hello?
If somebody's there,
please don't kill me.
Take me back to your cabin
and make me your
sex slave if you must.
Dress me up like
a little school girl,
tell me I'm naughty and
then paddle me oh so hard,
but please don't kill me.
Oh, it's just a beaver.
Who's a pretty little beaver?
You are.
Hey, why are you all
glowin' there, little fella
Aaah!
Oww aaah!
Stupid glowing beaver bit me!
Hmm, that's odd.
I suddenly have a strong
desire to chew wood.
You know what,
I think I'm gonna build a dam.
That sounds like a lot of fun.
I've never built a dam before.
What is going on?
What's
Happening to me?
Aaahhh!!
And then, earlier today,
I went to El medo burrito
and got one of them
two-pound bean burritos
and I have just had
the worst diarrhea.
That's funny
"the worst diarrhea."
It's not like you can have
the best diarrhea.
Diarrhea's diarrhea.
Ha ha ha
Let's hear it for Erotica
Make sure you
tip her good, fellas,
'cause she owes me three dollars
from lunch the other day.
Okay, sir, that will be $20,
plus any gratuity would be
much appreciated.
Sir, I'm talking to you.
That's rude, I would
appreciate a response.
Sir?
I can't believe he's dead!
Oh, this is horrible!
I know, he seemed so young
and full of life.
Life, schmife,
we are gonna get sued!
I feel awful.
I never killed anyone before!
That poor dead man!
Giselle, it's not your fault.
I mean, sure, you're
the one that excited him
and that's what triggered
his heart attack,
but it could have
been any of us.
Well
We should probably
take down that sign.
Wow
The middle of the woods
on a dark and foggy night
so far away from civilization
that no one could hear us scream
if something horrible happened.
It's so romantic.
What was that?
I don't know, I heard it, too.
Well, go see what it was.
Just out walking my dog.
Sorry about the creepy howling.
Just out walking my pet bear.
Sorry about the creepy growling.
This sculpture is an
almost perfect recreation
of an actual tree.
The artist cut down
and used the wood
from over 500 actual redwoods
to construct this majestic
tribute to trees.
Without further ado,
I, mayor Samuelson give to you
the giant Woody!
Ahhh
Ahhh
I think this was a sign.
Maybe it's time for me
to hang up my g-string
and go into politics
or something.
How can you say that?
You can't just give up,
it was an accident!
Think of all the guys that
you've given lap dances to
that haven't died.
Oh, Harold, I told you
not to go to the strip club.
Ma'am, I was the one that
accidentally lap-danced
your husband to death.
And, if it's any consolation,
he seemed real happy
right before he died.
Also, I really believe he
knew it was his time to go.
In fact, his last words were,
"Jesus, I'm coming, here I come!
Oh, god,
Jesus, here I come!"
Excuse me widow ma'am,
I am the manager
here at the tenderloins
and I just wanted to express
my sincere condolences
and say that if there is
anything we can do,
please don't hesitate to ask.
By the way,
this in no way constitutes
an admission of guilt
or culpability
either financial or legal.
Agent 69 here.
What's going on, chief?
A giant beaver is
threatening the well-being
of the citizens of
our great city.
What?
Did you say "giant beaver"?
Calm down, get a grip
on yourself, damn it!
This is no time to panic!
I'm not panicking,
I'm merely asking if
Well, you should be panicking!
This is a serious situation.
People and anything made of
wood are in danger!
The beaver's already
attacked several lumber yards
built several subpar dams
that aren't up to code
and devoured
the entire woodwind section
of the philharmonic orchestra!
That's awful!
I know
I had tickets for
tonight's performance.
Now, get out there
and do something
superhero/secret-agenty.
What's going on?
It's some sort of animal!
Kids, quick, climb out!
I can't hold on much longer!
Wow, you're Stripperella!
I know.
Please climb out.
Hurry!
Are you kids okay?
I guess so.
You ruined our bikes!
I saved your lives.
Yeah, but you ruined our bikes!
Argh
If you'll excuse me,
I've gotta go bag a beaver.
Hey, beaver, want some wood?
Super hairspray, do your stuff!
Gotcha!
You're not going anywhere,
that hairspray is ultra-hold.
Plus, it has
enriched vitamin complex
to help keep your hair
shiny and bright.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah, boy, Stripperella
caught the beaver!
Now let's kill it!
I've already caught it.
There's no need for violence.
He's destroying our city.
He's a danger to our
children and our wood!
He raised our taxes really high!
Isn't this the mob
to recall the mayor?
No, this is the mob to
destroy the giant beaver.
Oh, sorry, wrong mob.
Kill the beaver,
kill the beaver
Stop, you're hurting it!
Ja, Stripperella, get it
with your laser lipstick!
Look, he's gettin' away!
Stripperella let him get away!
Booo!
Booo!
I know we're all
concerned, and well,
y'know, a little baffled about
the giant, six-foot beaver
that's been terrorizing
our community.
Yeah, uh, mayor,
I just wanted to remind everyone
that we still need volunteers
for the bake sale this weekend.
Mitchell, now is really
not the time.
We are dealing with
a more pressing issue.
Now, for all we know,
there won't be a bake sale.
You're gonna cancel
the bake sale?
No, now, I didn't say that.
Well, I kinda need to know.
It takes me a long time to
make my delicious popovers
and I was gonna start tonight.
Forget the damn popovers!
What are we gonna
do about the beaver!
Yeah!
Stripperella sure
ain't gonna help us,
she let the beaver go!
I had to let it go
I mean, she had to let it go.
Probably because the angry mob
was trying to kill it.
I'm sure if Stripperella
were here and she's not
She would say that the beaver is
just a poor defenseless animal
who probably has no idea
that it's causing any harm.
Then, she would say that
we need to find a way
to capture it, humanely.
Yeah, let's capture it humanely!
Then we can torture and kill it.
You kinda missed the point.
The beaver's a menace,
it has to be killed!
It ate my house!
It dammed up my swimming pool!
He devoured me' pegleg!
Argh!
I was once bitten
by an odd, glowing beaver,
so I know, first hand,
how dangerous they can be.
It has to be killed!
Come on, everybody,
let's all chant!
Kill the beaver
Kill the beaver,
kill the beaver,
kill the beaver!
Now, just the girls.
Kill the beaver,
kill the beaver,
kill the beaver!
I'll kill your beaver for ya,
but it's gonna cost ya.
Who's that?
That's Lance Shaw,
beaver hunter.
He's gotten more tail
than anyone I've ever met.
For $1,500 I'll
catch 'er and kill 'er.
For $2,000 I'll catch 'er,
kill 'er, skin her
and cook 'er up for dinner.
Eww, who would wanna eat beaver?
For $3,000 I'll catch her,
kill her, cook her
and make her skin into a bikini.
For $27.95, I'll do all that
while wearing a dress.
So, do we have a deal?
We have no other choice,
you're hired.
Kill the beaver kill the beaver
kill the beaver
Kill the beaver
kill the beaver kill the beaver
kill the beaver
Kill the beaver
wait! We can
catch it safely.
Sorry, lady,
we want the beaver dead!
Kill the beaver,
kill the beaver
That's some beaver shot.
That is the biggest, hairiest
beaver I've ever seen.
There's got to be a way
to capture the beaver
before the beaver hunter
kills it
and cooks it and skins it
and turns its hide
into a bikini!
Ah, it's not
going to be that simple.
Ah, special agent 14.
What are you talking about?
We've taken samples of
the beaver's saliva and d.N.A.
And we have determined that
we are not dealing with
just a regular,
ordinary giant evil beaver.
What we have here
is a werebeaver.
Werebeaver?
The legend says that a man who
is bitten by the werebeaver
will himself become a werebeaver
when the moon is a 3/4
waxing Crescent.
If this really is a werebeaver,
then we have to find a way
to turn him back into a man.
Then I can hurt him
as much as I want
and not feel bad.
All I have to do is find him.
Bingo!
Midnight tonight at
jolly land amusement park.
The grand opening of
the extreminator,
the world's largest roller
coaster made entirely of wood.
Well, Stripperella,
I think your beaver
is about to be exposed.
Darn it!
Hmm, number two.
Hey, Larry, how's it shaking?
Oh, man, I had a rough night.
I don't remember anything.
This morning
I woke up in the woods
I was naked and covered
in sawdust and blood
and my face
was full of splinters
and my breath smelled like wood.
Oh, no big deal,
that happens to me all the time.
Man, I can't wait
to get off work.
I'm gonna check out that new
roller coaster at jolly land.
Wanna go?
Oh, no thanks, last time
I went on a roller coaster
I was sitting behind
this overweight lady
who's seat belt broke,
and we went through
one of those low tunnels
and she got decapitated.
I spent the rest of the ride
with her severed head in my lap
and, since then,
I've just had this thing
about roller coasters.
And overweight people.
You sure you don't wanna go?
The roller coaster's made
entirely out of wood.
Can you imagine
how much wood they used?
I mean, just think about
all that wood.
Wood, huh?
Hey, it's a little
stuffy in here.
Why don't I open the window
and let a little moonlight in.
Sure, a little moonlight
would be nice.
Wow, look at that moon.
Would you say
that's a half moon?
No, more like 3/4
waxing Crescent.
Yeah, definitely
a 3/4 waxing Crescent.
Hey, you aren't Larry.
The extreminator
opens in one hour.
I'm sure the werebeaver's
gonna show up.
I have to get there to
make sure no one gets hurt,
including the beaver.
Don't worry, Stripperella,
we've been doing
a lot of beaver research.
Before today, we really
knew nothing about beavers.
I've never even seen
a real beaver before.
Just pictures in magazines.
Oh, I have, once.
But it was
a long time ago at camp.
Anyway, using the hair
of the beaver,
we developed an antidote
that will transform it
back to a regular man.
Or a woman.
We put the formula
in this silver syringe.
Ah, I get it.
Silver can defeat
the werebeaver.
No, we just happened to have
a silver syringe lying around.
Okay, so all I have to do
is give the beaver
a little injection?
I'm afraid it's
not going to be that easy
to prick the beaver,
its fur is very thick.
You'll never be able
to penetrate it.
So, first, you're
going to have to remove
a small patch of
the beaver's hair.
I have to shave the beaver?
You can use this
laser hair remover.
Hal got that from his mother.
She uses it to
remove her moustache.
Does not!
She uses it on her back.
Thanks guys, good work.
I'm off to
stick it to the beaver.
Good evening, wooden
roller coaster lovers!
Now, we couldn't find
a tarp big enough
to cover
the entire roller coaster
so thank y'all for
covering your eyes.
On behalf of the jolly llama
and myself, the mayor,
I present to you,
the extreminator!
You can open your eyes now.
Whoa!
Wow!
Wood!
This scar's from a beaver
I conquered in Madagascar
back in '87.
These days I won't get near
a beaver without protection.
The beaver!
Hey, that's not a llama!
This is a guy in a llama suit!
I'm so sorry.
You're the jolly llama.
I thought you were
the werebeaver and
Look, the beaver!
Oh, no!
The wood he's eating could
cause the track to collapse!
Those people will be killed!
Stop the ride!
Well, I know,
but there's no stop button.
See, it's on back order.
Apparently the company
accidentally sent
two start buttons and
Ugh!
That's what I call
a beautiful beaver.
I can't wait to stuff you
and mount you.
But first, I gotta kill ya.
Say goodbye, beaver.
Aahhh!
Oh, no!
Aaahh!
Aaahh!
The antidote!
Aahh
What happened?
You turned into a giant,
rampaging werebeaver.
I had to inject you with
an antidote to turn you back.
Really?
So, I was screaming for
the beaver to be killed
but all that time
I really was the beaver?
Ironic, huh?
I see now that
killing beavers is wrong.
Beavers are warm and
sensitive animals.
They should be stroked
and kissed and caressed
and played with until their
cute little lips open wide
and quiver with excitement.
Sure, sometimes
they like it rough
and you need to be
firm with them,
but not kill them,
it's just not right.
You've learned
a valuable lesson today.
And, if you're interested,
we could use a guy like you
in my a.N.U.S.
Oh, you mean your charity,
"animals need
universal support"?
Now that I'm enlightened,
I would love to be
involved with your a.N.U.S.
You know you're naked, right?
Oh my god.
And so once again
the city is safe
and Stripperella
has saved the day.
In a related story,
former-werebeaver, Larry Talbot
has signed a deal
to turn his story
into a crappy made-for-TV movie.
Wow, that stipperella
sure is amazing.
Yeah, she sure is.
I wish I could meet
someone just like her.
Only bigger and sweatier
and maybe named Charlie.
Well, this is it, I'm quitting.
I just wanted to say bye.
Giselle, you can't leave.
Erotic dancing is your life.
I'll just have to
get me a new life.
A bizarre twist
in the story of the man
who was lap-danced to death
at the tenderloins
gentleman's club
Wait, Giselle, look at this.
Investigators have discovered
that the deceased man,
Harold mills,
didn't actually die of natural
causes as previously believed.
It turns out he was murdered
by his wife, Beatrice.
She confessed to the crime
and admitted she did it
because she was angry at him
for always going to strip clubs.
Police found traces of
arousitol in his system,
which, when taken in high doses,
can trigger a heart attack
if the drug user becomes
aroused during a lap dance.
Isn't that neat?
In a related story,
Beatrice mills
has signed a deal
to turn her story
into a crappy made-for-TV movie.
Giselle, it's not your fault!
He was murdered,
isn't that great?
It was murder!
Oh, I'm so happy!
Sir?
Would you like a lap dance.
I was gonna go take a leak,
but why not?
Ugh!
Thank you, so much.
That's my Giselle.