That's So Raven (2003) s01e13 Episode Script

Driven to Insanity

Oh, hey, there.
You want me to come over and do that biology homework and rewrite that history paper? I'm sorry.
I didn't quite catch that.
You want to go shopping and get a pedicure? That's what I thought you said.
No, no, and no! That was weird.
I just had a vision of my parents saying no.
About what? Hello? They're parents.
Do they need a reason? Let me see that.
I don't want to do that.
I can't believe it.
Chelsea, look.
There's that cute guy from the video store.
Wait.
He's in high school.
What's he doing here? I don't know, but, uh, teeth check.
You're good.
Hey, Raven.
Hey! Oh, you know my name.
Yeah, um, you rented She's All That about two weeks ago.
I sent you the late notice.
The one with the smiley face? Yeah, that's me.
My name is Matthew.
So, I'm here to pick up my little sister.
Why are you here? I'm here, you know, I'm here to to pick up my little brother.
Eddie? Mom told me to give you a bath before dinner.
Say what? You go make sure he does not wander.
Thank you.
Come on, Eddie.
She's doing the most Gosh, it's just So, Raven, I know we just sort of met but would you like to do something with me Friday night around 8:00? 8:00.
Um, I don't know, Matthew.
That's kind of short notice.
8:15? All right.
I have a date Friday night, and he's 17! Ooh! Rae, your parents are not going to let you go out with a 17-year-old.
Wait, Rae, that's your vision! Your parents are going to say no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
See, that's only the first no.
Trick is you keep asking, asking and asking.
No, no, and no! Can't we talk about this? I feel I'm not getting I'm sorry.
That was rude.
Where was I again? Oh, yeah.
No! Yep, that's me.
I can't believe they just walked out.
I mean, they never listen to anything I say.
Do your parents listen to you? Well, they kind of have to, Rae, they're both therapists.
I mean, it's just a little weird when they tell me my time's up and they'll see me next week, so But, anyway, Rae, well, you have to call him and you have to tell him you can't go.
I can't do it.
You do it.
Okay.
No, I'll do it.
That's silly.
No, you do it.
No, I think I should do it.
No, you do it.
Raven! If you didn't want to do it, just say so.
Hello, Matthew? Hey! Yeah, like, it's Chelsea-- Raven's friend.
And she, like, wanted me to tell you that she, like, so can't make it Friday night.
But she'll be able to make it, like, Saturday night.
What?! Oh, yeah, so I just wanted to let you know that you are, like, so lucky because she had like, so many offers that night.
And so I'll see you two lovebirds, all right? Like, good-bye.
Get off the phone.
Okay, first of all I so don't talk that way, and hello? Your parents said you can't go.
Actually, I just had a vision that my parents were dancing in the living room and there's only one night when they go dancing: Saturday.
It's perfect.
They'll never know.
Okay, well, let me make it like, so un-perfect.
When you're out on your date, who's going to baby-sit Corey? Ah, our first night together baby.
Man's good.
But he's nothing without his baby.
Uh, you clean up pretty good.
Well, thank you very much.
Now, say something nice about your mother.
Mom, you look hot.
See, I got a "hot.
" You just got a "pretty good.
" Well, that's because she didn't see me do this.
Now, that's hot.
No, that's painful.
That's because I need to do my thing on the dance floor.
I can't get my-my jiggy down with a couch here.
Oh, well, let's not waste any valuable jiggy-down time.
Now, listen, honey, any problems you call me on my cell, all right? Now, Victor, I see what you're doing.
If you think you can rush me out that door I want that popcorn cleaned up, now, oh Like I said, the man is good.
They're going out, and, um so am I.
Check it out.
It's my own creation.
Looks like a jacket, works like a purse.
I got, uh, the cell phone, the lip gloss the nail file, and an extra roll just in case, you know I don't like the food at the restaurant.
Rae, you look gorgeous.
You want to see gorgeous, baby? I know.
It's like a dream come true.
Back it up, Shaft.
What's he doing here? Well, uh I'll be your date for this evening.
I know.
It's like a dream come true, ain't it, sugar? Uh, no more, thanks.
So you drive a car.
Ooh, that is so cool.
Don't you drive? Yeah.
But, you know, your car has that new car smell.
It-It does? Well, it was my grandfather's.
Well, you know, me, I love the new car smell and the old people smell, love 'em both.
Smells great.
Hey, man, what you doing with that? Cleaning up the popcorn.
Who am I fooling thinking Chelsea would ever like a stupid little kid like me? Aw, man, look.
Just give it some time.
Five years, you'll be 14.
Then, of course, Chelsea will be 19 and she still won't be looking your way.
The good news is, I'll be dating college girls.
I was just impressed you got the math right.
Now could you help me with this vacuum bag? It's a little full.
All right.
Hello? Oh, hi, Rae.
You are so dead meat! Uh-oh.
Hold on.
Maybe you should go home and take a shower.
Forget it! I'm taking a shower right here! "Eddie, help me, the bag is full.
" You little Oompa Loompa! Rae, when are you coming home? Pretty soon if I keep messing up on this date.
He is so mature and I am acting like such an idiot.
You should have heard the lame things I said about his car.
He's going to figure out I'm not 17.
Look, Rae, just be honest with him and tell him your real age.
He's a nice guy.
I'm sure he'll understand.
You don't get out much, do you? Look, Rae, just let him do all the talking and-and you just you just sit there and-and look old.
So, do tell me about your life.
You going to finish that? I was going to put it Okay, well, you can take it.
Rae, I love calamari.
Now you know calamari's just a fancy name for squid.
"Ooh, save me from the squid, Matthew!" "He big, he trying to get me, Matt!" I'm going to save you, baby.
Well, let's see I was born in San Francisco.
My father's name is Jerome.
He's an optometrist.
And when I was seven I tried to join this one camp in the woods.
But, you know, it was the whole the whole wilderness thing, you know? Just-just way too way too prehistoric for a brother.
What are you doing? You want to see what I can do with a tablecloth? No.
Matthew I really hate to see this-this wonderful evening end but, um, I'm feeling kind of sick.
Could you take me home? Uh, yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Um, just let me get the check.
Waiter? Waiter? Waiter? Waiter! I can't believe I split my pants wide open.
Just when I was getting my jiggy down.
And you're going to keep your jiggy down.
Sit.
Change of plans.
Sit.
We're staying.
But I thought you said you felt sick.
Sick.
Yes, I do.
Yeah, sick of the thought of ever letting this date end.
Look! Look, I'm a hockey goalie.
Cool, cool.
He goes left, goes right! Score! Yes! Who's your daddy? Opa! Opa! Opa! Whatever! No, I don't dance.
No! Oh, I'm too short, I'm too short! Okay, thank you.
All right, thanks.
Come on, I want to get my opa on.
Honey, if your pants split any more everyone's going to see your opa.
Opa! Opa! Opa! Hi.
Corey I told Raven I'd watch you and I can do that whether you're alive or dead.
Dead is less work.
I know.
Eddie's mad at me.
You're mad at me.
I'm sorry, okay? I'm listening.
After Eddie gets out of the shower how about I make some popcorn and the three of us can watch a movie? And Eddie can sit in the middle.
Okay.
Smell good Smell good, yeah! Corey! If you don't open this door, you little brat! Let me out of here! Open up, you! Man! I'm gonna kill him! Opa! Opa! Opa! Opa! Hello? Oh, hi, Mrs.
Baxter.
Opa! Opa! Oh, puh-lease.
Opa! Opa! Come on, Eddie, don't be mad! Eddie! Eddie left? Yeah.
He's still mad.
I'm sorry.
I'm such a jerk.
No, Corey, you're just a kid.
Come on, let's go watch that movie.
You won't be ashamed to sit on the same couch with me? No.
I'll start the movie; you get the sodas.
Corey Get the sodas, be happy.
I'll get you for that! Oh, yeah, now, baby! I'm gonna get you, man! I'm gonna get you! Hello? Oh, hi, Raven, how's the date going? Girl, don't talk, just listen.
I had a vision.
Whatever you do, do not pick up the ph Oh, wait, wait, wait, hold on, there's a call waiting.
Chelsea, no! Hello? Oh, hi, Ms.
Baxter.
Uh, yeah, yeah, uh, hang on.
Rae, it's your mom.
She wants to know where you are.
Um, tell her I'm on my way to the bathroom.
Oh, okay, good one.
Um, Ms.
Baxter, um, Raven's on her way to the bathroom.
Okay.
Rae, she told me to tell you that you look really nice tonight.
Wait, how would she know that? Trust me, girl, she ain't psychic.
Hey, Mom.
Th-That was kind of funny, you know? I was on the phone, and you were on the phone, right? And, you know it's probably not really that funny right at this moment but when we look back on it a couple of years we'll be, like, "That was funny!" Okay, I'm going to shut up now, let you talk.
Okay, talk.
What is going on? I'm on a date.
With whom? A guy named Matthew.
You don't exactly know him.
Well, that's one point against you.
Keep going.
Well, actually, I really didn't know him all that well either.
I mean, if I knew he was so disgusting I would have never gone out with him in the first place.
I mean, this was the worst date of my life.
I thought that older guys were supposed to be, like, cool.
So, you went out with an older boy you don't know? Two points.
Keep going.
Oh well, after you guys left he picked me up to go out to dinner.
And you rode with him in a car? Yeah, I know, three points.
No, actually, that's ten points.
And now, here's Mom to tell you what you've won.
Oh, a ride home? Oh, you're going home but first I want to know why you went out in the first place, after we said no.
Because, Mama, you wouldn't listen to me.
I was trying to explain.
I mean, you never listen to anything I say.
That's not true! Mama, yes it is.
I mean, if it's not exactly what you want to hear then you just tune me out.
What?! I am not listening to this.
Mama, like that.
Hey, baby, look.
I am Mr Spock.
Mom, if you love me you'll start dragging my sorry butt home now.
I want to talk to your father first and then we'll just see how sorry your butt is.
Oh, look, it's my date for this evening.
Uh, now remember, man, I'm wearing your pajamas.
Where are you going? Home, with my parents 'cause I forgot to tell you, I'm 14.
I know.
It's hard to believe.
I'm so happy you've given the check 'cause I am so ready to go.
Well, actually, your mother and I talked about it and we decided he's your ride home.
You wanted this date? You got this date.
Oh, are y'all serious? He is disgusting! Yeah, well, maybe you'll think twice before you lie to us again.
Oh, man! Hey, you know what? I've been thinking.
So what if you're 14? Your parents just ordered us the Super Duper Opa.
Super Duper Opa? Opa! Opa.
Opa.
Now I don't want to be a pig so you can get the spoon.
Well, don't look at it, eat it.
Okay, you can look now-- he's finished.
Did you see the way he attacked that thing? It was like feeding time at the zoo.
If you love me, you'll take me home now.
Okay, fine, but first we're going to go over a few rules.
Now look, I understand that you're getting older, and you want your independence but lying to us is not the way.
Got it.
But your father and I also realized that not taking time to listen to you is also not cool.
So, you know, you're saying that this date is, like, officially over? I don't have to ride home with him, do I? Sweetheart, you were never going to ride home with him.
Really?! Oh, you guys are good.
And we just keep getting better.
It was very nice meeting you.
Don't bother about getting up.
Not that you could.
Where does he put it all? I don't know, but we'd better get out of here before he decides to put it all back.
I don't know.
He just passed out ten minutes into the movie.
Well, let's let him sleep.
Good night.
Chelsea, come on, I'll drive you home.
I'll tell you all about it tomorrow.
Okay.
That's a really lovely look for ya, Mr.
Baxter.
Hey, Corey, wake up.
Someone wants to give you a good-night kiss.
Chelsea? Pucker up, Precious!
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