The Bionic Woman (1976) s01e13 Episode Script
Mirror Image
Iwas just in
with Mr. Henderson.
His blood pressure
seems to be stable.
Take him off lV.
I'll see him later
in the day.
Open the drapes.
Morning.
Feeling better?
Good.
Today's the day
the bandages come off.
But first, you practice.
All you have to do
is nick him,
and Oscar Goldman's
a dead man.
The moment of truth.
We remove the bandages.
Lovely.
Show her.
How do you like it, Jaime?
JlM: Jaime?
You finished packing?
JAlME:
Oh, just a few
more minutes.
Found your wallet
on the front seat
of my car.
Your car?
How'd it get there?
Maybe you dropped it
when you and Helen went
shopping for your swimsuit.
We took my car.
Well, I'm just glad
to get it back.
Jaime, you aren't going
to leave with your house
looking like this, are you?
Why not?
(LAUGHlNG) Well, look at it.
Pretty raunchy, huh?
Guess it would be kind of hard
to have a good time in Nassau,
knowing I'd have
to come home to this.
The plane leaves in an hour.
Um, course, I could have
Helen come up.
Jim.
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
JlM: All that
in five minutes.
(LAUGHS) Jaime,
you're incredible.
JAlME: And late.
(lN BAHAMlAN ACCENT) Well,
as they say in the Bahamas,
"Let's get on de way, mon."
(lN BAHAMlAN ACCENT)
We've got just
enough time, mon.
(BOTH LAUGHlNG)
JAlME: Why not?
(lN SOUTHERN ACCENT)
Why not?
COURTNEY: Now, try it again.
Now you've got to lose
all of your Southern accent,
okay?
(MlMlCS JAlME'S ACCENT)
Why not?
Better.
JAlME: Pretty raunchy, huh?
I guess it would be
kind of hard to have
a good time in Nassau,
knowing I'd have
to come home to this.
Pretty raunchy, huh?
I guess it would be kind
of hard to have a good time
in Nassau, knowing l'd
No, she uses
more contractions, Lisa.
Uh, "T'have"
instead of "to have."
The accent's good.
Now try it again,
but without that cigarette.
Jaime Sommers doesn't smoke.
Come on.
Oh, brother.
Um
I guess it would be
kind of hard to have
a good time in Nassau,
knowing I'd have to
come home to this.
Excellent.
(lN SOUTHERN ACCENT)
That gal must be crazy.
If I was going
to the Bahamas,
Iast thing I'd be worried
about is cleaning my house.
(CHUCKLlNG)
Now you've been working
on her for two weeks.
Voice, mannerisms,
life history.
Do you think
you're ready, Lisa?
Lisa?
Oh.
(MlMlCS JAlME'S ACCENT)
Who's Lisa?
I'm Jaime Sommers.
Oh, Rudy.
Can't you make
a bionic skin that tans?
The least you could do,
Rudy, is make me
some bionic baby oil.
(GREETlNG lN FRENCH)
(GREETlNG lN SPANlSH)
Good afternoon.
(lN BAHAMlAN ACCENT)
Ah! An American.
Yes.
A most beautiful one
at that.
Well, I don't know
how you can tell
with me all wrapped up
like this,
but thank you anyway.
Are you burned?
Oh, yeah.
But I'm having trouble
getting an even tan.
(LAUGHlNG)
Yes, the sun here
can be very devastating,
you know?
Do you mind
if I sit down?
No.
COURTNEY: Camera.
Pens.
OSl pass.
What is it?
A gas bomb.
Push the lipstick
all the way up,
hold your breath,
throw it to the ground.
Everyone around you
will be rendered unconscious.
Just in case.
Okay. I'm ready
whenever you guys are.
PERKlNS:
Bye, baby. Good luck.
Thank you, sugar pie.
Lisa?
Cigarette.
OSCAR: Brian, I think
we're making a mistake
on this Howlitt Report.
I think it's too valuable
to be in my safe.
I think it should
be reclassified
"For Eyes Only."
(lNTERCOM BUZZES)
Hang on a minute.
Yes, Betty?
I'm sorry
to disturb you, Mr. Goldman,
but Jaime Sommers
is here to see you.
Jaime?
Should I tell her
to wait until
you've finished reading?
No, send her in.
Brian, I'll call you back.
Okay, pal.
Jaime.
Hi.
What are you doing here?
You're supposed to be
on some tropical island
a thousand miles away,
lolling on the beach.
Well, I got bored.
Clouds came in
and I ended up spending
most of my time in my room.
So you came here.
Well, I have
some news for you.
This isn't the most, uh,
exciting place
in the world
all the time either.
Paperwork is paperwork.
And that's dull.
Oh, I know all about that.
I was four days behind
in my homework grading
before I left.
What brings you to Washington?
Not that I mind.
The OSl.
Oscar, um, I do
a lot of work for you,
and I love it.
But sometimes
I just feel isolated,
Iike I really don't know
what's going on.
I mean, I'm in Ojai,
and everything else is
back here in Washington.
And, well, your
paperwork, for example,
now that could be interesting
to me, you know.
Oh.
I just thought
it would be kind of fun
to spend a couple of weeks
Iearning more
about the work that I do
and what the OSl is all about.
No.
No?
No.
Why? I've got a
Security Six Clearance.
Okay.
But I can't imagine
why you'd rather
be here, Jaime,
than in the Bahamas.
All right, I'll go
to Security and get you
a security building permit.
Be right back.
Okay.
(CLlCKlNG TONGUE)
(DOOR CLOSlNG)
(CLlCKlNG)
I still find it hard
to believe that you recognized
me so easily, Mr. Beaumond.
Oh, come now.
I've watched you play
in at least, uh,
15 world-class tennis matches.
It would have been
very hard to miss you.
(CHUCKLES)
It's awfully nice of you
to entertain me like this.
It's my pleasure.
To your health.
(TOASTlNG)
Something wrong,
Miss Sommers?
Miss Sommers?
(lN AMERlCAN ACCENT)
She's out.
Get the box
and head it out
to deep water.
(PlANO PLAYlNG)
Hmm. Thank you.
MATTHEWS: Put it out.
Give me the pack.
Come on.
Lisa!
You can't afford
to let down now,
not even for a minute.
Remember that.
(SlGHS)
So how's it going?
Got anything?
Yeah.
It's something
called the Howlitt Report.
I think it's important.
How's it going in Nassau?
It should be all over
right now.
(lN BAHAMlAN ACCENT)
There is nothing more moving
than a burial at sea, mon.
BEXLEY: Goodbye,
Jaime Sommers.
(ENGlNE REVVlNG)
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
OSCAR:
Is Miss Sommers back
from lunch?
BETTY: Yes, Mr. Goldman.
She's waiting in your office.
Jaime, took a little while,
red tape from the government,
but I've got your top
You know, some of this stuff
is pretty interesting.
Miss Sommers, are you always
in the habit of reading other
people's top-secret briefs?
Oh, only when I'm
sitting in their chair.
Well, get out of the chair.
Get me some coffee
Yes, sir.
while I read
the top-secret briefs.
Chauvinist.
(lNTERCOM BUZZES)
Yes, Betty?
Uh, Mr. Goldman,
I don't know
if you want to take this,
but there's a woman
on the line who claims
she's Jaime Sommers.
Jaime Sommers is standing
right in front of my desk.
Thank you very much
and, uh, hang up.
I'm sorry, Mr. Goldman,
but she says
it's an emergency.
Where's she calling from?
Nassau in the Bahamas.
What should I tell her?
I'll talk to her.
Hello?
Oscar?
This is Oscar Goldman
speaking.
Oscar, this is Jaime.
Get her!
What is this?
Who are you?
Hello?
Hey, what's going on there?
Jaime, I don't know
how to explain it.
Oscar, please listen to me.
Somebody just tried
to kill me,
and they came
pretty darn close.
Where are you?
I'm on the beach in Nassau.
They tried to drown me.
Who?
I don't know. Two men.
Well, now, listen. Do this.
Go to the American Embassy.
Don't go back to your hotel.
I'll get somebody to pick up
your stuff.
Be at the airport in one hour,
and I'll send a plane down
from Miami.
Oscar, I'm really scared.
Babe, I know how you feel.
Jaime, you're not gonna
believe what's happened.
PlLOT: Nassau Center,
please advise Washington
of our ETA at Dulles.
0200 hours.
MAN 1 : Roger, Falcon.
Four-niner uniform.
Will advise.
MAN 2: Falcon,
four-niner uniform.
You have priority
taxi clearance
to Gate D4.
Be advised that
a limousine is waiting.
PlLOT: Thank you, Dulles.
We have one tired lady
on board.
OSCAR: Get any sleep
last night?
JAlME: Yeah,
a little on the plane.
Okay, Oscar,
when are you gonna end
all the suspense, huh?
The answer, my dear,
is right in that office.
Russ, how's it going?
Tight as a clam.
She hasn't opened
her mouth to yawn.
Who hasn't?
Russ?
Let's go.
Oh, my God.
Oscar, who is she?
I don't know.
I just don't know.
Nothing works.
Nothing fits.
Fingerprints, dental work,
birth marks
All we know is that she had
plastic surgery recently.
And she had you down cold.
How long has she been here?
One day.
One single day.
Enough time
to photograph a half a dozen
top-secret papers,
and get the film
out of here.
This a camera?
Camera.
You know what I found
in that camera?
Film. Photographs
of my yesterday's mail.
And what's more important,
on my desk I had a top-secret
report on the SALT talks,
the Howlitt Report.
Jaime, if she photographed
that and passed that on,
it could blow our negotiating
position sky high.
We've got to find her contact,
her connection, and we've got
to get that film back here.
How?
(SlGHS)
I don't know.
I just don't know.
(SlGHS)
I suppose we could
let the information pass
and hope that
one of our double agents
could intercept it.
Sounds pretty iffy.
It is.
Oscar,
if she could make all of you
think that she was me,
maybe I can make her people
think that I'm her.
What about the clothes?
Can you match the dress
she was wearing?
Oh, come on now.
If she can match my face,
I can match her clothes.
Jaime, after all
you've been through?
Hey, listen, as far as I know,
I've got the patent
on this face.
Now if somebody's cranking
them out in quantity,
I think it's up to me
to do something about it.
Have you got
any clues at all?
Just this.
(PlANO PLAYlNG)
Well, back again?
Yeah. Hi.
So what'll it be?
Oh, same thing I had
last time.
Sorry, remember faces,
but I'm a little weak
on drinks.
Oh, in that case,
I'll have a club soda.
(LAUGHS)
Thank you.
I think I'm gonna float away.
(CHUCKLES)
Say, um, are you waiting
for somebody?
Yeah. I think so.
Okay.
I'll have another soda.
And put some scotch in it.
And bring me one, too.
Hi.
Hi.
Are you in business?
Oh. Yeah.
Ah, I knew you were a pro
the moment I laid eyes on you.
Oh, no, no,
you don't understand
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Don't get cold
on me, baby.
Take your hand
off me, please.
(STAMMERlNG) But
I bought you a drink.
I said take your hand off me.
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
Man, where did you
get a grip like that?
In the police academy.
(GASPS)
Police academy?
Excuse me, Officer.
Was he giving
you trouble?
Nothing I couldn't handle.
What're you, um, drinking?
Scotch and soda.
Thought the only way
you liked scotch
was on the rocks.
Oh, well, the gentleman
who just left bought it
for me.
You drink it.
Thanks. Have the film?
Nothing today.
Why'd you set up
this meeting?
You said you had
more pictures.
I just wanted to talk.
(SlGHS)
You could've called.
It was a long drive.
Well, it's too important.
All right. But you know
how he doesn't like
unnecessary meetings.
What is it?
I can't tell you.
What?
I've gotta see him in person.
You must be crazy.
For your sake,
it better be good.
It better be good, Lisa.
(RlNGlNG)
Hello. Yeah, he's here.
Hold on.
It's Matthews.
COURTNEY:
What is it, Matthews?
Any problems?
(BEEPlNG)
MATTHEWS: Lisa wants
to see you in person.
I told her she was on her own
for the next two weeks.
If anyone sees her
coming here,
she will jeopardize
the entire operation.
She says it's important,
something you'd be
interested in.
Is she there?
Yes, sir.
Put her on.
(SlGHS) Lisa.
Hello.
Lisa. I want to
congratulate you
on the photographs.
I'm looking at them now.
They're excellent.
Thank you.
Now, what's all this
about a meeting?
Well, I have some information,
but it's not on film,
it's in my head.
So if you want it,
you're gonna have to see me.
What's it about?
Well, let me just say
that, uh,
it makes the Howlitt Report
look like a seventh grade
term paper.
You know, if I didn't know
you were Lisa Galloway,
I'd swear I were talking
to Jaime Sommers.
(LAUGHS) All right.
Tell Matthews to bring you
back with him.
Okay. Let's go.
JAlME: We're changing cars?
MATTHEWS:
Yeah, just in case.
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
Safe now.
Oh, no, thank you.
You're kidding.
I thought by now
a chain smoker like you would
be going out of your head.
Oh, I just can't get
this Jaime Sommers
out of my mind.
(COUGHlNG)
Something wrong?
I just got something caught
in my throat.
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
Finished already?
Whoo! You must've
been desperate.
Here.
Have another one.
Thank you.
You tell me
who you work for,
and I will personally
guarantee you
a lighter sentence.
(PHONE RlNGlNG)
Now, I think
that's very generous,
considering the charges.
Hello.
No, Russ. Yeah.
Just a minute.
For you.
Yes, put him on.
Yes, Bill.
What? How?
Lost her.
No.
No, come back.
We'll try to find her
from here.
You hop out here.
I got to go park
around the front.
I'll meet you
in his office.
Okay. Whose office?
Courtney's, who else?
Albert Schweitzer?
Oh, and, Lisa?
You can drop that
Jaime Sommers routine
and start talking
like yourself.
You're among friends now.
Talk like myself?
(BEEPlNG)
BEXLEY: Courtney says
to lock the negatives
in the basement vault.
Lisa really must be
coming through.
Howlitt Report.
Must be something
pretty important.
(SCOFFS)
And profitable.
Lisa!
Oh.
Oh, baby, just one day
and I was crazy without you.
Listen, Courtney's
seeing a patient.
Let's go someplace
we can be alone, huh?
Baby, I've been worried
about you.
Courtney's not a man
to fool around with.
You know that.
Whatever you're gonna
tell him, it better be good.
It is.
Hey, listen, stop talking
like Jaime Sommers.
(lN SOUTHERN ACCENT)
Where's my fiery
little Georgia peach, huh?
Well, I just don't feel
like it right now.
Hey, Lisa.
Oh, honey.
Why are you
being so difficult?
Now this is your last chance
to cooperate.
Are you gonna tell us
who you work for?
All right, that's it.
You stay with her.
I'm gonna get a car
and take her
to a maximum security cell.
Mr. Goldman.
Well, well.
She does talk after all.
Are you finally willing
to cooperate?
I really feel as though
I look a fright.
(SNlFFLlNG) Would you mind
if I put on some lipstick
before we go outside?
PERKlNS: That a new kind
of perfume?
(lN SOUTHERN ACCENT)
Uh, yeah.
I bought it yesterday.
Uh, honey lamb, do you happen
to know where Courtney
took that Howlitt Report?
Yes, with the other stuff.
You know more about that
than I do.
Hmm.
Hey, come on,
you're not kissing me back.
In the basement?
Yeah, the vault.
You're making me
feel unloved.
Oh, poor baby.
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
(EXCLAlMS)
What the
Oh, look at that!
You're getting all wet!
What in thunder
is going on?
Get the janitor.
And somebody take Goldman
and the pens to the basement.
You come with me.
(ALL COUGHlNG)
(SlGHS lN RELlEF)
Cigarette?
Thank you kindly.
How do I know
you're not the real
Jaime Sommers?
(COUGHS)
Because I'm prettier.
Besides, isn't the real
Jaime Sommers at the bottom
of the deep blue sea? Hmm?
Is she?
Wait outside.
I'd like to talk
to Miss Galloway alone.
Yes, sir.
Oh, and see
how Perkins is getting along
with that pipe.
Is Perkins the reason
you came back?
Or do you really
have something
to tell me?
Come on. Would you let me
come back here if you'd
have thought I didn't?
Then don't waste my time.
What is it?
Well, first, I want
to make sure it's gonna
be safe in the basement.
What're you talking
about, Lisa?
You mean after two years
as my secretary,
you still don't know
the capabilities of our safe?
Two steel doors,
eight inches thick,
impossible to break in.
Well, it's not the vault
I'm worried about.
It's location.
(COUGHlNG)
You should be worried
about lung cancer,
not about an impregnable vault
in the laundry room.
Now why are you stalling?
More money?
You ain't just
whistling Dixie, honey.
What about
the license number?
Where?
Good.
She took a taxi
at the side gate.
The guard said he heard
something about
a Courtney Clinic.
That's in Bethesda.
It's about a half an hour
from here.
Let's get outta here.
Hurry, driver.
All right, Lisa.
Get the cash box.
Where?
In the wall safe,
where it always is.
You know the combination.
Right.
(BEEPlNG)
(CLlCKlNG)
Good, Lisa.
For a minute there,
you had me worried.
NURSE ON PA: Dr. Courtney
to Intensive Care.
Dr. Courtney
to Intensive Care.
Close the safe
and wait for me here.
We'll discuss the value
of your information
when I get back.
(BEEPlNG)
COURTNEY: See that
she doesn't leave and
that Perkins doesn't get in.
Lisa's behaving strangely.
I don't know what it is.
Oh, and have the switchboard
pull out my line
until I return, just in case.
(DlAL TONE BUZZlNG)
(DlAL TONE STOPS)
This is Goldman.
Patch me into
all backup units.
Drive to the Courtney Clinic
in Bethesda.
She's got 20 minutes on us,
so make it fast.
If she's already with Jaime,
no telling what will happen.
(SlGHS)
(SNAPPlNG FlNGERS)
Hey!
Oh, I'm so glad
to see you, honey.
Hey, babe,
how did you get down here?
I got to talk to Courtney.
Yeah, I know.
Got a smoke?
Yeah, sure.
Where is he?
Courtney?
Hmm.
Uh, in his office.
Oh, good.
I'll see y'all
after I talk with him.
Hey, Lisa,
weren't you just
Lisa.
How did you get out here?
LlSA: What are you talking
about, Matthews?
MATTHEWS: You were
just in his office.
What's the matter with y'all?
Courtney in there?
I've got to talk to him.
MATTHEWS:
Talk to him?
You just did.
LlSA: Well, how could l?
I just got here.
Let go of me.
I gotta get in.
MATTHEWS: Lisa!
Where is he?
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
All right, Lisa,
how did you do it?
Do what?
I'm gonna get Courtney.
Lisa!
(SlGHS)
Lisa? What are you doing?
Hi, honey.
Did you find Courtney?
Courtney? Of course.
You were there
when I was talking
to him, honey pie.
Oh, yeah, I know, babe
Oh, I gotta go. Bye.
Bye.
Hi, sugar.
Lisa? How'd you do that?
Y'all seen Courtney,
sweetcakes?
I thought
Didn't you just tell me
that you found him?
I'm looking for him,
baby doll.
What's wrong with everybody?
Y'all gone crazy?
Oh, I'll check
with the charge nurse.
(BEEPlNG)
Perkins.
(SlGHS)
Have you seen Lisa?
Yeah, a couple of times.
Well, where did she go?
Last time I heard,
to see Courtney.
Intensive Care.
Intensive Care.
Dr. Courtney, oh,
thank goodness
I've finally found you.
What are you doing down here?
I told you to wait
in my office.
I haven't even seen
you today.
We talked
less than an hour ago.
Oh, sweet Georgia,
she's here.
What are you talking about?
Jaime Sommers.
She's here.
Sommers? I killed her
in Nassau,
watched her go down.
That's why everybody's
been acting so strange.
Lisa. I'm sorry, Doctor.
I don't know how she got out.
Sommers is alive?
Oh, yeah.
They caught me,
and I saw her
before I escaped.
I don't believe it.
She was tied to an anchor.
That explains a lot of things.
Did they follow you?
No.
Then as long as we haven't
blown our cover, find her.
Lisa, you and Bexley
cover the basement.
Matthews and l
will stay up here.
Oh, wish you were
the real thing.
How much further?
About five minutes.
If we push it,
we can make it in four.
Then do it.
You got that, Pete?
Yes, sir.
We'll make it in four.
Look, you check down there.
I'm going down
to the laundry room.
(BEEPlNG)
(GUN COCKlNG)
This time I'm gonna get you.
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
Come on out, Jaime.
Stop wasting
everybody's time.
Don't make me put holes
in all them clothes.
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
Let's go!
They're coming
from the basement!
Hold it!
Drop the guns!
Drop it!
Jaime!
I believe it's time
for you and me to
have it out, sugar pie.
There's only gonna be
one Jaime Sommers now.
(DART FlRlNG)
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
Oscar, there's Lisa.
Oscar, it's me.
For heaven's sake, Oscar,
can't you see it's me?
Jaime?
Not bad.
All right.
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
Satisfied?
Yeah.
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
You should be dead.
(SlGHS)
Well, I guess
that's it, sugar.
I got your looks,
but I sure don't have
your moves.
Courtney's vault
was full of stolen papers,
more than I could imagine.
The Secretary wanted
to thank you personally
Oh, but he was on his way
out of the country, right?
That's right. So he asked me
to do the honors.
Okay, well, you tell
the Secretary
he's very welcome
as soon as he
gets back into town.
I will tell him.
What's gonna
happen to Lisa?
She's going to prison.
Really?
(lN SOUTHERN ACCENT)
Looking like Lisa Galloway?
No. Jaime Sommers.
It's gonna take a year
for that scar tissue to heal
before it'll be safe to have
any more plastic surgery.
So you're gonna have
a jailbird for a twin.
Oh, terrific.
Well, that won't be bad.
As long as she stays put.
Well, how would you like it
if there were
two Oscar Goldmans?
I'll worry about that
when it happens.
Come on in.
Oh, I'm just gonna make
a phone call first.
Okay.
OSCAR: Jaime!
Yes, Oscar?
Oh, my
Oh, you look so pale.
What you need is a trip
to the Bahamas.
It would do your complexion
a lot of good.
I know this fantastic place
to go swimming.
You're just gonna love it.
with Mr. Henderson.
His blood pressure
seems to be stable.
Take him off lV.
I'll see him later
in the day.
Open the drapes.
Morning.
Feeling better?
Good.
Today's the day
the bandages come off.
But first, you practice.
All you have to do
is nick him,
and Oscar Goldman's
a dead man.
The moment of truth.
We remove the bandages.
Lovely.
Show her.
How do you like it, Jaime?
JlM: Jaime?
You finished packing?
JAlME:
Oh, just a few
more minutes.
Found your wallet
on the front seat
of my car.
Your car?
How'd it get there?
Maybe you dropped it
when you and Helen went
shopping for your swimsuit.
We took my car.
Well, I'm just glad
to get it back.
Jaime, you aren't going
to leave with your house
looking like this, are you?
Why not?
(LAUGHlNG) Well, look at it.
Pretty raunchy, huh?
Guess it would be kind of hard
to have a good time in Nassau,
knowing I'd have
to come home to this.
The plane leaves in an hour.
Um, course, I could have
Helen come up.
Jim.
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
JlM: All that
in five minutes.
(LAUGHS) Jaime,
you're incredible.
JAlME: And late.
(lN BAHAMlAN ACCENT) Well,
as they say in the Bahamas,
"Let's get on de way, mon."
(lN BAHAMlAN ACCENT)
We've got just
enough time, mon.
(BOTH LAUGHlNG)
JAlME: Why not?
(lN SOUTHERN ACCENT)
Why not?
COURTNEY: Now, try it again.
Now you've got to lose
all of your Southern accent,
okay?
(MlMlCS JAlME'S ACCENT)
Why not?
Better.
JAlME: Pretty raunchy, huh?
I guess it would be
kind of hard to have
a good time in Nassau,
knowing I'd have
to come home to this.
Pretty raunchy, huh?
I guess it would be kind
of hard to have a good time
in Nassau, knowing l'd
No, she uses
more contractions, Lisa.
Uh, "T'have"
instead of "to have."
The accent's good.
Now try it again,
but without that cigarette.
Jaime Sommers doesn't smoke.
Come on.
Oh, brother.
Um
I guess it would be
kind of hard to have
a good time in Nassau,
knowing I'd have to
come home to this.
Excellent.
(lN SOUTHERN ACCENT)
That gal must be crazy.
If I was going
to the Bahamas,
Iast thing I'd be worried
about is cleaning my house.
(CHUCKLlNG)
Now you've been working
on her for two weeks.
Voice, mannerisms,
life history.
Do you think
you're ready, Lisa?
Lisa?
Oh.
(MlMlCS JAlME'S ACCENT)
Who's Lisa?
I'm Jaime Sommers.
Oh, Rudy.
Can't you make
a bionic skin that tans?
The least you could do,
Rudy, is make me
some bionic baby oil.
(GREETlNG lN FRENCH)
(GREETlNG lN SPANlSH)
Good afternoon.
(lN BAHAMlAN ACCENT)
Ah! An American.
Yes.
A most beautiful one
at that.
Well, I don't know
how you can tell
with me all wrapped up
like this,
but thank you anyway.
Are you burned?
Oh, yeah.
But I'm having trouble
getting an even tan.
(LAUGHlNG)
Yes, the sun here
can be very devastating,
you know?
Do you mind
if I sit down?
No.
COURTNEY: Camera.
Pens.
OSl pass.
What is it?
A gas bomb.
Push the lipstick
all the way up,
hold your breath,
throw it to the ground.
Everyone around you
will be rendered unconscious.
Just in case.
Okay. I'm ready
whenever you guys are.
PERKlNS:
Bye, baby. Good luck.
Thank you, sugar pie.
Lisa?
Cigarette.
OSCAR: Brian, I think
we're making a mistake
on this Howlitt Report.
I think it's too valuable
to be in my safe.
I think it should
be reclassified
"For Eyes Only."
(lNTERCOM BUZZES)
Hang on a minute.
Yes, Betty?
I'm sorry
to disturb you, Mr. Goldman,
but Jaime Sommers
is here to see you.
Jaime?
Should I tell her
to wait until
you've finished reading?
No, send her in.
Brian, I'll call you back.
Okay, pal.
Jaime.
Hi.
What are you doing here?
You're supposed to be
on some tropical island
a thousand miles away,
lolling on the beach.
Well, I got bored.
Clouds came in
and I ended up spending
most of my time in my room.
So you came here.
Well, I have
some news for you.
This isn't the most, uh,
exciting place
in the world
all the time either.
Paperwork is paperwork.
And that's dull.
Oh, I know all about that.
I was four days behind
in my homework grading
before I left.
What brings you to Washington?
Not that I mind.
The OSl.
Oscar, um, I do
a lot of work for you,
and I love it.
But sometimes
I just feel isolated,
Iike I really don't know
what's going on.
I mean, I'm in Ojai,
and everything else is
back here in Washington.
And, well, your
paperwork, for example,
now that could be interesting
to me, you know.
Oh.
I just thought
it would be kind of fun
to spend a couple of weeks
Iearning more
about the work that I do
and what the OSl is all about.
No.
No?
No.
Why? I've got a
Security Six Clearance.
Okay.
But I can't imagine
why you'd rather
be here, Jaime,
than in the Bahamas.
All right, I'll go
to Security and get you
a security building permit.
Be right back.
Okay.
(CLlCKlNG TONGUE)
(DOOR CLOSlNG)
(CLlCKlNG)
I still find it hard
to believe that you recognized
me so easily, Mr. Beaumond.
Oh, come now.
I've watched you play
in at least, uh,
15 world-class tennis matches.
It would have been
very hard to miss you.
(CHUCKLES)
It's awfully nice of you
to entertain me like this.
It's my pleasure.
To your health.
(TOASTlNG)
Something wrong,
Miss Sommers?
Miss Sommers?
(lN AMERlCAN ACCENT)
She's out.
Get the box
and head it out
to deep water.
(PlANO PLAYlNG)
Hmm. Thank you.
MATTHEWS: Put it out.
Give me the pack.
Come on.
Lisa!
You can't afford
to let down now,
not even for a minute.
Remember that.
(SlGHS)
So how's it going?
Got anything?
Yeah.
It's something
called the Howlitt Report.
I think it's important.
How's it going in Nassau?
It should be all over
right now.
(lN BAHAMlAN ACCENT)
There is nothing more moving
than a burial at sea, mon.
BEXLEY: Goodbye,
Jaime Sommers.
(ENGlNE REVVlNG)
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
OSCAR:
Is Miss Sommers back
from lunch?
BETTY: Yes, Mr. Goldman.
She's waiting in your office.
Jaime, took a little while,
red tape from the government,
but I've got your top
You know, some of this stuff
is pretty interesting.
Miss Sommers, are you always
in the habit of reading other
people's top-secret briefs?
Oh, only when I'm
sitting in their chair.
Well, get out of the chair.
Get me some coffee
Yes, sir.
while I read
the top-secret briefs.
Chauvinist.
(lNTERCOM BUZZES)
Yes, Betty?
Uh, Mr. Goldman,
I don't know
if you want to take this,
but there's a woman
on the line who claims
she's Jaime Sommers.
Jaime Sommers is standing
right in front of my desk.
Thank you very much
and, uh, hang up.
I'm sorry, Mr. Goldman,
but she says
it's an emergency.
Where's she calling from?
Nassau in the Bahamas.
What should I tell her?
I'll talk to her.
Hello?
Oscar?
This is Oscar Goldman
speaking.
Oscar, this is Jaime.
Get her!
What is this?
Who are you?
Hello?
Hey, what's going on there?
Jaime, I don't know
how to explain it.
Oscar, please listen to me.
Somebody just tried
to kill me,
and they came
pretty darn close.
Where are you?
I'm on the beach in Nassau.
They tried to drown me.
Who?
I don't know. Two men.
Well, now, listen. Do this.
Go to the American Embassy.
Don't go back to your hotel.
I'll get somebody to pick up
your stuff.
Be at the airport in one hour,
and I'll send a plane down
from Miami.
Oscar, I'm really scared.
Babe, I know how you feel.
Jaime, you're not gonna
believe what's happened.
PlLOT: Nassau Center,
please advise Washington
of our ETA at Dulles.
0200 hours.
MAN 1 : Roger, Falcon.
Four-niner uniform.
Will advise.
MAN 2: Falcon,
four-niner uniform.
You have priority
taxi clearance
to Gate D4.
Be advised that
a limousine is waiting.
PlLOT: Thank you, Dulles.
We have one tired lady
on board.
OSCAR: Get any sleep
last night?
JAlME: Yeah,
a little on the plane.
Okay, Oscar,
when are you gonna end
all the suspense, huh?
The answer, my dear,
is right in that office.
Russ, how's it going?
Tight as a clam.
She hasn't opened
her mouth to yawn.
Who hasn't?
Russ?
Let's go.
Oh, my God.
Oscar, who is she?
I don't know.
I just don't know.
Nothing works.
Nothing fits.
Fingerprints, dental work,
birth marks
All we know is that she had
plastic surgery recently.
And she had you down cold.
How long has she been here?
One day.
One single day.
Enough time
to photograph a half a dozen
top-secret papers,
and get the film
out of here.
This a camera?
Camera.
You know what I found
in that camera?
Film. Photographs
of my yesterday's mail.
And what's more important,
on my desk I had a top-secret
report on the SALT talks,
the Howlitt Report.
Jaime, if she photographed
that and passed that on,
it could blow our negotiating
position sky high.
We've got to find her contact,
her connection, and we've got
to get that film back here.
How?
(SlGHS)
I don't know.
I just don't know.
(SlGHS)
I suppose we could
let the information pass
and hope that
one of our double agents
could intercept it.
Sounds pretty iffy.
It is.
Oscar,
if she could make all of you
think that she was me,
maybe I can make her people
think that I'm her.
What about the clothes?
Can you match the dress
she was wearing?
Oh, come on now.
If she can match my face,
I can match her clothes.
Jaime, after all
you've been through?
Hey, listen, as far as I know,
I've got the patent
on this face.
Now if somebody's cranking
them out in quantity,
I think it's up to me
to do something about it.
Have you got
any clues at all?
Just this.
(PlANO PLAYlNG)
Well, back again?
Yeah. Hi.
So what'll it be?
Oh, same thing I had
last time.
Sorry, remember faces,
but I'm a little weak
on drinks.
Oh, in that case,
I'll have a club soda.
(LAUGHS)
Thank you.
I think I'm gonna float away.
(CHUCKLES)
Say, um, are you waiting
for somebody?
Yeah. I think so.
Okay.
I'll have another soda.
And put some scotch in it.
And bring me one, too.
Hi.
Hi.
Are you in business?
Oh. Yeah.
Ah, I knew you were a pro
the moment I laid eyes on you.
Oh, no, no,
you don't understand
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Don't get cold
on me, baby.
Take your hand
off me, please.
(STAMMERlNG) But
I bought you a drink.
I said take your hand off me.
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
Man, where did you
get a grip like that?
In the police academy.
(GASPS)
Police academy?
Excuse me, Officer.
Was he giving
you trouble?
Nothing I couldn't handle.
What're you, um, drinking?
Scotch and soda.
Thought the only way
you liked scotch
was on the rocks.
Oh, well, the gentleman
who just left bought it
for me.
You drink it.
Thanks. Have the film?
Nothing today.
Why'd you set up
this meeting?
You said you had
more pictures.
I just wanted to talk.
(SlGHS)
You could've called.
It was a long drive.
Well, it's too important.
All right. But you know
how he doesn't like
unnecessary meetings.
What is it?
I can't tell you.
What?
I've gotta see him in person.
You must be crazy.
For your sake,
it better be good.
It better be good, Lisa.
(RlNGlNG)
Hello. Yeah, he's here.
Hold on.
It's Matthews.
COURTNEY:
What is it, Matthews?
Any problems?
(BEEPlNG)
MATTHEWS: Lisa wants
to see you in person.
I told her she was on her own
for the next two weeks.
If anyone sees her
coming here,
she will jeopardize
the entire operation.
She says it's important,
something you'd be
interested in.
Is she there?
Yes, sir.
Put her on.
(SlGHS) Lisa.
Hello.
Lisa. I want to
congratulate you
on the photographs.
I'm looking at them now.
They're excellent.
Thank you.
Now, what's all this
about a meeting?
Well, I have some information,
but it's not on film,
it's in my head.
So if you want it,
you're gonna have to see me.
What's it about?
Well, let me just say
that, uh,
it makes the Howlitt Report
look like a seventh grade
term paper.
You know, if I didn't know
you were Lisa Galloway,
I'd swear I were talking
to Jaime Sommers.
(LAUGHS) All right.
Tell Matthews to bring you
back with him.
Okay. Let's go.
JAlME: We're changing cars?
MATTHEWS:
Yeah, just in case.
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
Safe now.
Oh, no, thank you.
You're kidding.
I thought by now
a chain smoker like you would
be going out of your head.
Oh, I just can't get
this Jaime Sommers
out of my mind.
(COUGHlNG)
Something wrong?
I just got something caught
in my throat.
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
Finished already?
Whoo! You must've
been desperate.
Here.
Have another one.
Thank you.
You tell me
who you work for,
and I will personally
guarantee you
a lighter sentence.
(PHONE RlNGlNG)
Now, I think
that's very generous,
considering the charges.
Hello.
No, Russ. Yeah.
Just a minute.
For you.
Yes, put him on.
Yes, Bill.
What? How?
Lost her.
No.
No, come back.
We'll try to find her
from here.
You hop out here.
I got to go park
around the front.
I'll meet you
in his office.
Okay. Whose office?
Courtney's, who else?
Albert Schweitzer?
Oh, and, Lisa?
You can drop that
Jaime Sommers routine
and start talking
like yourself.
You're among friends now.
Talk like myself?
(BEEPlNG)
BEXLEY: Courtney says
to lock the negatives
in the basement vault.
Lisa really must be
coming through.
Howlitt Report.
Must be something
pretty important.
(SCOFFS)
And profitable.
Lisa!
Oh.
Oh, baby, just one day
and I was crazy without you.
Listen, Courtney's
seeing a patient.
Let's go someplace
we can be alone, huh?
Baby, I've been worried
about you.
Courtney's not a man
to fool around with.
You know that.
Whatever you're gonna
tell him, it better be good.
It is.
Hey, listen, stop talking
like Jaime Sommers.
(lN SOUTHERN ACCENT)
Where's my fiery
little Georgia peach, huh?
Well, I just don't feel
like it right now.
Hey, Lisa.
Oh, honey.
Why are you
being so difficult?
Now this is your last chance
to cooperate.
Are you gonna tell us
who you work for?
All right, that's it.
You stay with her.
I'm gonna get a car
and take her
to a maximum security cell.
Mr. Goldman.
Well, well.
She does talk after all.
Are you finally willing
to cooperate?
I really feel as though
I look a fright.
(SNlFFLlNG) Would you mind
if I put on some lipstick
before we go outside?
PERKlNS: That a new kind
of perfume?
(lN SOUTHERN ACCENT)
Uh, yeah.
I bought it yesterday.
Uh, honey lamb, do you happen
to know where Courtney
took that Howlitt Report?
Yes, with the other stuff.
You know more about that
than I do.
Hmm.
Hey, come on,
you're not kissing me back.
In the basement?
Yeah, the vault.
You're making me
feel unloved.
Oh, poor baby.
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
(EXCLAlMS)
What the
Oh, look at that!
You're getting all wet!
What in thunder
is going on?
Get the janitor.
And somebody take Goldman
and the pens to the basement.
You come with me.
(ALL COUGHlNG)
(SlGHS lN RELlEF)
Cigarette?
Thank you kindly.
How do I know
you're not the real
Jaime Sommers?
(COUGHS)
Because I'm prettier.
Besides, isn't the real
Jaime Sommers at the bottom
of the deep blue sea? Hmm?
Is she?
Wait outside.
I'd like to talk
to Miss Galloway alone.
Yes, sir.
Oh, and see
how Perkins is getting along
with that pipe.
Is Perkins the reason
you came back?
Or do you really
have something
to tell me?
Come on. Would you let me
come back here if you'd
have thought I didn't?
Then don't waste my time.
What is it?
Well, first, I want
to make sure it's gonna
be safe in the basement.
What're you talking
about, Lisa?
You mean after two years
as my secretary,
you still don't know
the capabilities of our safe?
Two steel doors,
eight inches thick,
impossible to break in.
Well, it's not the vault
I'm worried about.
It's location.
(COUGHlNG)
You should be worried
about lung cancer,
not about an impregnable vault
in the laundry room.
Now why are you stalling?
More money?
You ain't just
whistling Dixie, honey.
What about
the license number?
Where?
Good.
She took a taxi
at the side gate.
The guard said he heard
something about
a Courtney Clinic.
That's in Bethesda.
It's about a half an hour
from here.
Let's get outta here.
Hurry, driver.
All right, Lisa.
Get the cash box.
Where?
In the wall safe,
where it always is.
You know the combination.
Right.
(BEEPlNG)
(CLlCKlNG)
Good, Lisa.
For a minute there,
you had me worried.
NURSE ON PA: Dr. Courtney
to Intensive Care.
Dr. Courtney
to Intensive Care.
Close the safe
and wait for me here.
We'll discuss the value
of your information
when I get back.
(BEEPlNG)
COURTNEY: See that
she doesn't leave and
that Perkins doesn't get in.
Lisa's behaving strangely.
I don't know what it is.
Oh, and have the switchboard
pull out my line
until I return, just in case.
(DlAL TONE BUZZlNG)
(DlAL TONE STOPS)
This is Goldman.
Patch me into
all backup units.
Drive to the Courtney Clinic
in Bethesda.
She's got 20 minutes on us,
so make it fast.
If she's already with Jaime,
no telling what will happen.
(SlGHS)
(SNAPPlNG FlNGERS)
Hey!
Oh, I'm so glad
to see you, honey.
Hey, babe,
how did you get down here?
I got to talk to Courtney.
Yeah, I know.
Got a smoke?
Yeah, sure.
Where is he?
Courtney?
Hmm.
Uh, in his office.
Oh, good.
I'll see y'all
after I talk with him.
Hey, Lisa,
weren't you just
Lisa.
How did you get out here?
LlSA: What are you talking
about, Matthews?
MATTHEWS: You were
just in his office.
What's the matter with y'all?
Courtney in there?
I've got to talk to him.
MATTHEWS:
Talk to him?
You just did.
LlSA: Well, how could l?
I just got here.
Let go of me.
I gotta get in.
MATTHEWS: Lisa!
Where is he?
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
All right, Lisa,
how did you do it?
Do what?
I'm gonna get Courtney.
Lisa!
(SlGHS)
Lisa? What are you doing?
Hi, honey.
Did you find Courtney?
Courtney? Of course.
You were there
when I was talking
to him, honey pie.
Oh, yeah, I know, babe
Oh, I gotta go. Bye.
Bye.
Hi, sugar.
Lisa? How'd you do that?
Y'all seen Courtney,
sweetcakes?
I thought
Didn't you just tell me
that you found him?
I'm looking for him,
baby doll.
What's wrong with everybody?
Y'all gone crazy?
Oh, I'll check
with the charge nurse.
(BEEPlNG)
Perkins.
(SlGHS)
Have you seen Lisa?
Yeah, a couple of times.
Well, where did she go?
Last time I heard,
to see Courtney.
Intensive Care.
Intensive Care.
Dr. Courtney, oh,
thank goodness
I've finally found you.
What are you doing down here?
I told you to wait
in my office.
I haven't even seen
you today.
We talked
less than an hour ago.
Oh, sweet Georgia,
she's here.
What are you talking about?
Jaime Sommers.
She's here.
Sommers? I killed her
in Nassau,
watched her go down.
That's why everybody's
been acting so strange.
Lisa. I'm sorry, Doctor.
I don't know how she got out.
Sommers is alive?
Oh, yeah.
They caught me,
and I saw her
before I escaped.
I don't believe it.
She was tied to an anchor.
That explains a lot of things.
Did they follow you?
No.
Then as long as we haven't
blown our cover, find her.
Lisa, you and Bexley
cover the basement.
Matthews and l
will stay up here.
Oh, wish you were
the real thing.
How much further?
About five minutes.
If we push it,
we can make it in four.
Then do it.
You got that, Pete?
Yes, sir.
We'll make it in four.
Look, you check down there.
I'm going down
to the laundry room.
(BEEPlNG)
(GUN COCKlNG)
This time I'm gonna get you.
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
Come on out, Jaime.
Stop wasting
everybody's time.
Don't make me put holes
in all them clothes.
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
Let's go!
They're coming
from the basement!
Hold it!
Drop the guns!
Drop it!
Jaime!
I believe it's time
for you and me to
have it out, sugar pie.
There's only gonna be
one Jaime Sommers now.
(DART FlRlNG)
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
Oscar, there's Lisa.
Oscar, it's me.
For heaven's sake, Oscar,
can't you see it's me?
Jaime?
Not bad.
All right.
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
Satisfied?
Yeah.
(BlONlC POWERS ACTlVATlNG)
You should be dead.
(SlGHS)
Well, I guess
that's it, sugar.
I got your looks,
but I sure don't have
your moves.
Courtney's vault
was full of stolen papers,
more than I could imagine.
The Secretary wanted
to thank you personally
Oh, but he was on his way
out of the country, right?
That's right. So he asked me
to do the honors.
Okay, well, you tell
the Secretary
he's very welcome
as soon as he
gets back into town.
I will tell him.
What's gonna
happen to Lisa?
She's going to prison.
Really?
(lN SOUTHERN ACCENT)
Looking like Lisa Galloway?
No. Jaime Sommers.
It's gonna take a year
for that scar tissue to heal
before it'll be safe to have
any more plastic surgery.
So you're gonna have
a jailbird for a twin.
Oh, terrific.
Well, that won't be bad.
As long as she stays put.
Well, how would you like it
if there were
two Oscar Goldmans?
I'll worry about that
when it happens.
Come on in.
Oh, I'm just gonna make
a phone call first.
Okay.
OSCAR: Jaime!
Yes, Oscar?
Oh, my
Oh, you look so pale.
What you need is a trip
to the Bahamas.
It would do your complexion
a lot of good.
I know this fantastic place
to go swimming.
You're just gonna love it.