The Haunted Hathaways (2013) s01e13 Episode Script

Haunted Cookie Jar

An antique cookie jar? Oh, Jenny, you are the best sister ever.
Ooh, it's a Waterstone.
Love, love, love it! Hey, Louie.
Want to hang out? I have a new invention you might want to see.
No can do, Frankzilla.
Today's the day Teddy Monroe is coming over.
Who's Teddy Monroe? Are you serious? Teddy.
The coolest ghost in my school.
We're gonna play the ultimate ghost fantasy card game Ghoultopia.
That game sounds lame.
You're lame! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be in my room getting my cool on.
A dolphin? Don't! Say a word.
Oh, Taylor.
Wanna see my new invention? Can't today.
I'm tutoring someone.
You don't have to lie to me.
You could've just said no.
I'm serious.
I'm tutoring this super cute guy Todd in French.
- But you don't speak French.
- Neither does he, so he'll never know.
- Brilliant, non? - Non.
Mother, Mother, Mother.
I'm bored.
Frankie, Frankie, Frankie.
I'm working.
But I have no one to play with.
Well, what about Miles? Oh, you're serious.
Come on.
Miles is cool.
Ladies, check it out.
It's Dwayne "the sock" Johnson.
Sorry, Lieutenant, but I can't let those lowlifes blow up a factory.
This Christmas, the children get their bow ties.
See? Cool.
So, Miles, Frankie here is looking for someone to play with.
and they hand me a rookie.
Grab some cushion.
Sorry, Detective, but you're calling in sick.
I've got other plans.
I call it The cake-a-pult.
Observe.
Yes! Frankie, that's dangerous.
And offensive to clowns! - I want no part of it.
- I knew you were no fun.
Excuse me? I'm a hoot! Let's see.
Do I need safety goggles? No.
Launch the bagel.
Mom's cookie jar! - Are you done? - Not yet.
If you move into a haunted house.
You gotta try to work things out.
So if you're living with a ghost or three.
You gotta be one big, semi scary family.
Don't know how we ended up this way.
But I guess you could call us The Haunted Hathaways.
The Haunted Hathaways.
The Haunted Hathaways.
The Haunted Hathaways.
This is bad.
This is so bad.
Miles, you have to calm down.
Michelle loved that antique jar.
It's a Waterstone.
A Waterstone! What's a Waterstone? Relax.
I know exactly what to do.
- Confess to Michelle.
- Cover up the crime.
What? We can't do that! My cake-a-pult, your bagel.
We're in this together.
Here she comes! Follow my lead.
Everything okay, Miles? He's fine, aren't you, Miles? Yes! Fine! Everything's fine! So I need to run a few errands, pick up a nice thank-you card for Aunt Jenny.
- Back in a bit.
- Okeydokey.
You're so pretty.
Oh.
My little Angel.
I can't believe it.
I lied to Michelle! Even my sock puppet won't look at me.
Miles, if Mom finds out about her cookie jar, she's gonna ground us for a month.
I don't know about you, but I can't do that kind of time.
Fine.
What are you proposing? We put this baby back together.
I've got glue that can repair anything.
Even the tattered reputation of a once-honest ghost boy? Doubt it, but I'll check the label.
Dead flowers, creepy skulls, fresh spider webs? Are you expecting company? Sure am.
Teddy'll be here any second.
Dude's a master Ghoultopia player.
I've had this play date on the books for weeks.
And today, I wow him with my cool factor.
Shouldn't have a problem with that.
I mean, after all, you are my son.
Dad, you got toilet paper on your shoe.
And I'm totally making it work.
Agh, agh! - Pow! - Aah! Oh, man, you are good.
I do what I do.
Like the creepy digs, Preston.
Got your Ghoultopia cards? Because I am ready to take you down! Ray, you know French, right? Oh, sorry, didn't know you had your little friend over.
- Where's your Dad? - Not here.
Go away.
Boo! Sorry, Mr.
Cranky Pants.
Ooh, a Beret! I'm pretty sure that's French.
I'm totally borrowing it.
Sorry about that annoyance, Teddy.
That was just The most beautiful creature I've ever seen.
Excuse me? Taylor? Taylor.
Teddy? Teddy.
Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
Miles.
Prepare to be wowed.
Agh! So you're saying Mom will notice? Only if she has eyeballs.
Well, I guess that means Plan B.
Remove her eyeballs.
No! No more plans.
The only thing left to do is beg for forgiveness And somehow try and rebuild our lives.
Or we can go out and buy the exact same jar and replace it.
Are you crazy? Where in the world are we gonna find an exact local dealer who carries Waterstone jars.
What about money, Frankie? I'll handle that.
What I need is time.
Aah! She's coming back.
I'm literally going to pass out.
Just create the ghost illusion of the jar.
I'll take care of the rest.
If she tries to touch it, her hand will go right through.
- Just do it! - No! This madness must end! You sicken me! - Hey, you.
- Hello.
Hey! I just bought the best thank-you card for my sis.
It plays music when you open it.
Mom.
Mom! Aunt Jenny hates those musical cards.
She told me.
Hmm.
Well, maybe I should go get another and keep this funky jam for myself.
Before you go, we're thinking about going to the movies and need some money.
- Oh.
- 40 bucks should do it.
Oof, that's a little pricey.
What movie are you going to? Uh, that new thriller, why must children lie? No, we're seeing shut up and don't be a twit.
It's much better.
Oh.
Well, you two have fun.
Two lies in one day.
I'm out of control! It gets easier, man.
It gets easier.
Oh, good, Ray.
Can you help me learn French before my student gets here? You don't know French, and you're teaching it? Why is everyone so hung up on that? Teddy, where are you going? The game was just getting started.
Would you say her hair is brown mocha or warm chestnut? What is happening? Teddy Monroe is the scariest, most feared ghost in school.
Looks like Teddy has a major case of the Taylors.
What does he see in Taylor? The girl can't even remove her own head.
Can I help you? Has anyone ever told you you have eyes? I sort of knew that.
Uh, Taylor's very busy and can't be disturbed.
Isn't that right, Taylor? I don't know.
I'm just hanging out until my estudiant arrives? - Spanish.
- Took a shot.
Even your cough is gorgeous.
Sounds like Tay-Tay needs some wa-wa.
Be right back.
What was that? That was my entire day of fun Being ruined because of you! - What did I do? - You were pretty! Aw, that's so sweet.
Awful.
Just awful.
Darn my incredible beauty.
I said pretty.
What's become of me? Out on the mean streets, on the run from Johnny law.
Look! It's identical.
Let's buy that one.
Ya think? Hello.
What a nice place you got here.
Good for you.
You hear that, world? A nine-year-old has validated my life choices.
Whee.
Oh, I only have 40.
Do you have a cute kids discount? Yes.
Miles, I don't have time to haggle.
Jump into Captain smiles and possess him so I can buy that jar for 40 bucks.
Possess someone against their will? Yes, or I'm going to pin this whole broken jar thing on you.
Are you blackmailing me? No, I'm threatening to put this all on you if you don't do what I say.
That's blackmail.
Oh.
Then yeah! Okay, fine.
But this is it.
- Let's get this over with.
- Great.
Hello, kind Sir.
Here is 40 dollars for this lovely jar.
Great, I'll just wrap it up for you.
This really is an amazing piece.
She's a beaut.
Tag her and bag her.
Look at the intricate details of these lotus leaves.
It's magnificent.
Sorry, 100 bucks.
Take it or leave it.
You're upping the price? This shop owner is insane! I mean me.
I'm crazy.
Woo! May I see you for a second? Do you mind explaining to me what that was? Um, being a responsible business owner.
Ugh, and now that guy's buying our cookie jar.
Oh, no! Our jar! This time it's the real deal.
Miles, that guy bought our cookie jar.
We can't let him leave.
Lock the door.
Haven't we committed enough felonies for one day? Do it! I know how to handle this.
We have to get him back to the bakery and away from all these security cameras.
I'm not liking where this is going.
Don't worry.
It's all on the up and up.
All I need is a pair of dark glasses and an unmarked van.
Wait.
I think I've got a less kidnap-y way to get him there.
Free slice of pie at Pie Squared for anyone wearing an ugly green shirt.
Cha-ching! My lucky day! All right.
Time to get this day back on track.
Teddy, your roll.
There you go! Double sixes.
You know what that means.
Yep.
Lose a turn and go straight to Taylor's room.
Laters! This is becoming tiresome.
Oh, come on! It's okay.
They're not in here.
Ray, I feel terrible.
I messed up Louie's entire day.
Darn these good looks.
- You're enjoying this.
- Little bit.
You know, there was this time when I had to downplay This.
So I used this ghost illusion to make myself as repulsive as possible.
That's genius.
Can you do that to me? Are you that powerful? I think I got it.
Well, did it work? Oh, I'm good.
Maybe too good.
Ugh! Let's see how Teddy likes me now.
When the guy gets here, I'll handle negotiations.
You air-quoted that.
Why would you air-quote that? How deep does this rabbit hole go? Keep a lookout for my Mom.
If you see her coming, give me a signal.
Okay, I'll yell out types of pudding.
Of course you will.
Hello, Sir.
What a repulsive shirt.
- You must have seen our flyer.
- Sure did.
- How about a slice of apple? - Our specialty.
Hey, nice jar.
I know.
I'm gonna use it to store all the notes I get from my granddaughter.
She calls me Pappy.
Pappy? Perhaps I could trade you that jar for, say, two whole pies? - Make it ten.
- Five and a Pie Squared T-shirt.
Deal.
I'll just go get those pies.
Frankie, that was awesome.
We're actually going to get away with this.
- Whap! - Ow! Pappy? Come on, Teddy.
Let's finish our game.
Does Taylor like daisies? Hey, guys.
Yah! What happened to you? What do you mean? This is the real me.
Earlier I was wearing makeup and fake teeth.
Yep, this is how we see Taylor every day.
We even set extra places at the table for her moles.
I call this one Suzie.
Taylor, you look Different.
The fact that you're showing me who you really are makes you even more beautiful.
Are you seeing what I'm seeing? Taylor, you wanna join us in a few games of Ghoultopia? - Is that some ghost game? - Some ghost Taylor, Ghoultopia is the most popular fantasy card game around.
Well, you know what? - Sounds stupid.
- You're stupid! Well, I think it's a dumb Dopey, boring game! Louie, perhaps we can go to the attic where there'll be fewer annoyances.
If you say so.
I don't know how you can live with that girl.
Eh, she's not so bad.
Thank you! So what's the plan? I got nothing.
You've got to have something.
Mom will be back any second.
I can explain a lot of things, but I'm not this good.
Hate to say it, Miles, but it's over.
Are you kidding? If we stop, all the terrible things we did today were for what? Nothing? Are you okay? Humph, I want better than okay.
You may have played all your cards, baby doll - Baby doll? - But me, I'm still in the game.
Yoohoo! Uh, butterscotch, vanilla, banana cream! You distract Michelle.
I'll move chuckles here with my ghost powers.
Now, woman! - Hey, Mom.
- Oh.
Will you tell me a story? - Oh, but I need to - Tell me about the day I was born.
Did I grab your finger? Oh.
It was a magical morning Okay, where can we hide you? So that's the story of my birth.
And now we are entering the bakery.
Oh, good movie, Miles? It was an emotional journey.
Nice work.
What'd you do with him? You stuck him in the pastry case? Oh, welcome to Pie Squared.
Frankie, step aside so she can see.
F.
Y.
I.
, everything in this case is baked fresh daily.
Frankie.
What is she screaming about? What are you doing? What am I doing? I was supposed to get free pie.
And a T-shirt! You people are nuts.
What was that? If you still want a T-shirt, go to our website! We did it.
We pulled it off! We did do it! Whew, what a rush.
I could get used to this bad boy lifestyle.
I'm sorry you two had to see that, but but it's a good lesson.
There are some crazy people out there.
He wasn't crazy.
He was Pappy, an innocent, loving granddad who we callously used to replace a cookie jar we viciously broke.
Way to go, bad boy.
You two are responsible for this? Sorry, Mom.
I know how much you liked that jar.
You both are so grounded.
F.
Y.
I.
, I hated that cookie jar.
- What? - Excuse me? People are always buying me cookie jars.
Oh! She owns a bakery! It's a perfect gift! I have 500 of them.
Wish I'd opened a jewelry store.
So grounded.
Sorry.
I just couldn't keep lying.
It's okay.
I still had fun today.
Me too.
Hey, you want to see a slingshot I made out of licorice? Not even a little.
Thanks for helping Louie get his friend back.
Turns out you didn't need all of this.
He just needed to talk to you.
I know.
Now I got less than ten minutes to learn French and Gah! Todd, you're early! I think I'll learn German instead.
Close! Close, quickly, close! I like this look.
Keeps the boys away.
Ray!
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