The L Word s01e13 Episode Script
Limb from limb
Look.
When I say I've been with people, I don't mean 20 or 30.
Okay, so what? Like, hundreds, thousands? What? Somewhere between 950 and 1200 since I was 14.
Whoa.
Well, whatever, you know, it doesn't matter.
I don't care.
I turned tricks in Santa Monica with my friend, Clive.
And all these guys thought I was some little street fag and I could've been killed.
That's so cool when you think about it, right? Clea, it's not cool.
Listen, I like you.
But what you want from me isn't gonna happen.
Okay, you know I know, it's because of my father, right? You guys, you have this business together - Clea, I'm involved with someone.
Are you in love with her? Yeah I am.
Hey, girl.
Hey, you okay? Hey, you hang in there.
She'll be back before you know it.
I hope not.
Oh.
Okay! Well, you finally said it.
Can I say what it is now? You deserve to be happy Your happiness is just as important as anybody else's.
C'mon, The Planet is yours.
If you and Francesca are splitting up, she's not gonna take it away from you.
Yes, she is At best, she wants to be bought out I sat up all night trying to figure out how I can come up with that much money.
That's a lot of money.
I worked so hard.
Where's Trish? I decided to cool it for a while.
Oh, yeah? Why? I was accepted at the G.
S.
I.
E.
I'm finally, uh, getting my teaching degree Wow, that's that's amazing Yeah, so, when I switch departments, Trish and I can see one another again if if we still want to Did she cry? When you told her you had to break up with her? Yeah.
She did.
How's your writing? It's good.
I'm actually, um working on a story right now.
About a woman that's been mute from birth, and then she discovers that she's able to speak the language of manatees.
Allright! Allright, give it up! Let's have some love, for that was Phil McCockin! Allright, now.
For our final king of the night, let's give a good, hot welcome to Ivan Aycock! Hey, isn't that Robin, that girl Jenny's going out with, right there? Oh, yeah it is.
I have a date on Wednesday night.
Anyone I know? Um no.
Her name is Robin.
And, uh, I met her at Palm Springs when I, you know, when I went with Tina and all of them.
And you're telling met his because? Well, because, uh, you - you know that I can't afford restaurants right now - Let me get this straight.
You're asking to borrow money from me, for a date.
No, I wasn't, I was asking you if it's okay if I had her to my place.
I was gonna make a salad, I suppose.
Wednesday's basketball and beer night.
So, I'm not gonna be home 'til late.
If you want, you can use the kitchen.
Make your salad.
Hello, how's everything? I've heard about you.
Shane.
Check it out.
Shit, that sucks.
Well, do you think do you think she thought when I said like when I pointed her out, but I didn't that I no.
This is so wrong.
Yup.
Hey, Ivan! This is one of the best nights of music I have ever had! I mean and thank you for organizing the "Kings of the Night"! It was the bomb! The pleasure is all mine.
Why don't you make room for the lady? What can I get you, Kit? Um oh, nothing, I'm fine.
Yeah, but what's your drink? I mean, a Pink Lady, Cajun Martini, maybe a simple whiskey soda? I'm keeping dry these days.
Well, that's a fine thing for a beautiful lady.
You in the program? Yeah.
I am.
Eleven years next month.
Congratulations.
I'm, uh 37 days.
Thirty-seven days is a lifetime.
Look, if you ever need anyone to talk to or for any other reason give me a call.
Okay? Thanks.
Whoa.
You're not leaving already, are you? Oscar and I are due in court at 8:15.
Arthur Croft agreed to represent us pro bono against Clay Patterson.
How - did you - did you land Arthur Croft? Uh-huh.
Remember? I met him when Warner's got sued over that script I developed? Wow, Tina.
Oscar must be beside himself.
Yeah, and then, after we finish in court, I have a meeting with these junior high students from South Central.
We're starting an organic food co-op at their school.
Isn't that cool? Yeah, that's that's great.
Um, oh, wait did the, uh my Jill Sanders suit do you know - do you have any idea? Um I think it's at the dry cleaners.
Um I dropped it off last week.
Oh, great, then you could pick it up today, then? Okay? Bye.
Okay, so, he gets his, uh, Prednisone at 11 and 2 o'clock, and if for some reason I'm not home by 5 o'clock, just go ahead and give him his liquid thyroid medicine.
It comes in three flavors: chicken, tuna and sardine.
So, you know, just see what he's in the mood for.
Okay.
Bye, baby.
- Bye.
Thank you Bye, sweety Piddly-pie! Ton-Ton's gonna take extra special care of you! My handsome, loverboy puss-pot! Oh yes, oh yes.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Deb.
It's Tonya.
You will never believe where I am right now.
We're ready to install the main galleries, but I want you to keep the Anish Kapur crated until our technician arrives.
Yeah.
Hold on.
I think you should come down and see what's going on out here.
I'll call you back.
What? We have protestors setting up outside.
Ma'am, you don't want to go in there.
Yes, I do.
Are you aware that this so-called museum is run by homosexual pornographers? Are you a homosexual pornographer? Get outta my face, slimeball.
The C.
A.
C.
should be shut down! And the people inside locked away! Have you seen it out there? Yeah.
One of them tried to block me from coming in the museum.
Are you okay? Yeah - I'm fine.
I have movers due with a shipment of artwork in 40 minutes, I have 5 artists arriving to do installation work, and I have a bunch of lunatics out in the courtyard who apparently want to see me tarred and feathered.
But the main gallery looks great.
Well, we're nearly finished.
Here, let me show you some drawings of the shoji screens.
Okay.
So.
Fuck.
I'm sorry, I - What happened the other night cannot happen again, do you understand? Um okay, this is not a bearing wall.
So I figured we'd just erect the scaffolding here and Bette.
They have almost a hundred people out there.
They're threatening to not let the artwork in the museum.
Jesus! What are we supposed to do? We should call the police.
The police are here, but they're not gonna help you.
These protestors have a permit.
What about the alley? Can we take the trucks out back and load in from there? No, no, no, they're blocking that, too.
This is crazy! I don't I don't have time to reschedule and I'm not gonna back down from these lunatics.
Have you ever done clinic defense? Abortion clinics? I - no, I haven't.
I've just written checks.
Well, when we used to do clinic defense, there'd be, I don't know, 40, 50, 60 of them to every 20 of us, and so we figured the only way to get a client past them well, we would link arms.
And form a column to the street and the client would get out of her car, she'd be immediately inside of our column and we'd get her safely inside.
Like a human shield.
Yeah.
And how many people does it take to do something like that? As many as possible.
Allright, James, I want you to ask everyone in the office.
I think we have about 25 people.
Okay? And let's get on the phone.
I want you to call all the artists that are in town, I want you to call your friends, we need bodies.
Okay.
Wine? I have to get back to work.
I have a class of 10-year-olds aspiring to be tightrope walkers.
Ah, don't worry, we'll have it tonight.
Grazie.
Oh, actually I can't do that, either.
I, um I already have plans.
What kind of plans? Oh, is that a secret? Oh No, it's not a secret No, you should never tell a secret.
Never.
So tell me something else.
Do you like to read? Mm, I guess, when I when I have time.
I'm not exactly a big reader.
Have you ever read anything by, um, Anne Carson? Um I don't think so.
Does does she write novels, or Okay, I'm gonna give you a book.
And you can take it with you when you run away with the circus.
It's called, um, "Eros the Bittersweet.
" It's very romantic.
Miss Porter.
With all the controversy, is the C.
A.
C.
still going ahead with the "Provocations" show? Without the slightest hesitation.
I noticed Fae Buckley isn't here, do you know where she is? No idea.
Did you ruin her by exposing her family tragedy? Did you go too far? - I have to go, excuse me! Link arms.
Move around to the left and link arms.
You are obstructing commerce! If you do not let these movers through, you'll be violating the law! My god, you guys, it's a full-scale war Thank you so much for coming! Bette! Dana's coming, too.
Where's Tina? I don't know, when I left word for her.
She and Oscar were supposed to be in court earlier this morning, I can't get through.
So, come by after work.
I'll have the book for you.
Oh.
You know what, I'll just come by tomorrow.
No, I won't keep you long.
Just come by later.
Okay, fine.
You're very persistent.
AhPersistance est la mère de tout le succès.
I'll see you later.
Um, Marina.
Remember when we talked about kind of a plan? Well, we are gonna find you some partners, and we're gonna raise some money, and you are gonna buy Francesca out.
Well, what about you? You could be my partner.
Oh, I I'm not when maybe some of my royalties come in.
You know I haven't seen one cent from that Slim Daddy song.
What about Bette? She could lend you the money C'mon, you're good for it.
I don't know.
I'm on my way over there now, as soon as Ivan gets here.
Ivan.
Ivan is right over there.
Hey, Ivan, how you doin'? Ah, always good.
- Okay.
Ah, should we - better get going, I guess.
- Uh, yeah, let's go.
Uh, hey, girl, I'll catch you later, okay? - Yeah, have a great time.
Don't - don't forget to ask Bette.
Where's Tina? Which godless piece of filth is that? -Get off! Back off, you're getting too close.
You heard her! She said back off! You heard her! She said back off! She made a video of herself being sodomized by Jesus Christ! She was on her knees.
Naked.
With Christ committing unspeakable acts on her.
Holy shit! Wait! No! - I gotta help her! Hey! You have a DUI! If you go and get yourself arrested, it'll be years before you get a license again, allright? That's your sister right there, isn't it? C'mon.
She needs you on the outside.
You can't do anything for her.
Bette! Bette, is this your first arrest? How will you plead? C'mon.
It's okay.
Let's go.
- But Ow! Oh, god, I'm gonna die if my parents find out about this! Well, look at the upside: now, being a dyke won't be a big deal.
This is absurd! You'll be hearing from my law - Hey good-lookin' Remove your shoes and any hard objects including combs, hairpins, all watches and cell phones.
Oh, boy.
No, that's like taking our life support away, you can't do that.
No, just, let it go, Shane.
It's okay.
Take the fuckin' phone.
Don't lose that.
I'll also need all your jewelry And your eyeglasses.
Yolanda! Hey, it's Candace.
Listen, I'm in a little bit of trouble here.
Fuck, Tina, I know you're real busy saving the world and everything, but I need you to start answering your phone.
Hey, Cherie, it's me.
Look, I'm gonna be a little late for our date tonight.
Is he getting his medicine, is he listless? Has he had a poo? Alice, it's mom.
Can you drop my head shots by my agent? Why are we being held separately? Because you're high risk.
Dangerous ring leaders.
Aren't you gonna sit down? I can't.
Why? I can't sit near you.
What if you stay on one side of the cot? I'll stay on the other.
We'll draw an imaginary line down the middle.
I don't think that's gonna work for me I am in so much trouble.
Do you wanna play an alphabet game? I still want it to be a manatee.
Keela.
Hey.
Have you ever met a manatee? No.
They have the craziest mating behavior of any sea mammal.
She likes you.
Have you ever met a manatee? Yeah, there was a small herd of them beached off the coast of Boca Raton last month, and I was one of the biologists called in to protect them.
I'm Gene Feinberg.
Jenny Schecter.
What happened to them, why were they beached? Well, the, um the one female was running away from the 5 males.
She stays in heat for a month and the - the bulls spend the entire time smashing into each other, trying to have sex with her then they just kinda ditch her once she's pregnant.
Gosh, that sounds like a lot of humans.
Please tell me that's not your experience with men.
No.
Not exclusively.
Well, that's good.
Do you work here? Mm-hmm.
I'm Assistant Curator of Fish and Aquarium Dive Coordinator.
And you it appears, work at a grocery store? Oh, god.
Can you tell that by looking at me? Uh, well, I'm familiar with the red and white checked, uh blouse thing.
Laurelwood Farms, right? Yes.
I didn't know that fish had curators.
I didn't know that nice Jewish girls work in grocery stores.
Is that your life's calling, your No.
It's not my life's calling.
I'm I'm a fiction writer.
Cool How do you know that I'm a nice Jewish girl? Are you implying that you're not nice? Too many grapes, Keela.
If you wanted to have dinner with me, I could tell you everything I know about manatees.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
"Eros the Bittersweet.
" Oh, okay, I'll read it Wait, there is a passage that is so beautiful.
You know what, Marina, I - I really I gotta go.
I'm sorry.
Of course.
- Thanks.
The Greek word, eros, denotes want, lack.
The desire for that which is missing.
The lover wants what it does not have.
It is by definition impossible for him to have what he wants.
If as soon as it is had it is no longer wanted.
Excuse me? How much longer is this gonna be? You know - you know, this is really ridiculous.
Now, I have been here, I don't know how long trying to just - do you have any information - Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Sit tight.
Okay? I'm gonna go hustle up a couple of bail bonds, just in case nobody shows up with cash.
And.
I'll bring you some Reese's Cups.
How you know that's what I was jonesing for? Officer? I'm Franklin Phillips, Chairman of the Board of the California Arts Center, here to post bail for Bette Porter.
Thank god! Where you been, man? I - I've been at a cocktail party for the governor.
Who are you? Kit Porter, Bette's sister.
Ah.
Well, nice to meet you.
Can we, uh, hurry this up, please? We've got a lot of paperwork to process.
You might wanna have a seat.
Miss Porter? Go ahead, do the W's.
- West Virginia.
Washington.
Wisconsin.
Wyoming.
I think that's it.
There are no "X", "Y"'s or "Z"'s.
Let's do math.
What do you know? Two plus two equals four.
The square of the hypotenuse side of a right triangle is equal to the sum of the squares on the other two sides.
Um, do you remember the first time that you were ever really, really embarrassed by one of your parents? Absolutely.
It was before my dad got transferred to Texas.
We were living in Fort Lauderdale.
Thirteen Oh, my god.
- years old.
Junior high school.
What? I when I was 13, I wait, wait, wait.
I just had a total flashback.
I have to know more about that, please.
- No, no, no, I wanna hear about your story.
Okay, fine.
- Okay.
So, my mom's dropping me off at this party.
First time I get invited to a cool kid's party.
And, um, she insists on walking me in.
Which is already totally humiliating.
And then, she's kissing me goodbye, on the lips, and as she's walking away, she turns back and she calls out, she says, "Honey? You remember, the more you hang on to it, the more they want it, so don't let any of the boys get funny with you.
" Oh, it was horrible.
That's awful.
Turns out I wasn't even interested in boys.
Did you know that you were gay? No, I just knew I wasn't into boys.
I didn't realize I was attracted to girls until the first circus tour I did.
I fell madly in love that year.
Oh, god.
With the bearded lady.
- No! - Yes -No, it wasn't.
I can't stand it I'm sorry it's so painful.
It's so painful.
What are you doing right now? I just laid down.
I'm lying on top of you.
You know what I'm doing right now? I think so.
.
God, this is fucking insane! What are you doing to me? Fucking you Come over here.
I am there, you know I am.
So, um, I remember that we were all squished into the back seat of the car.
- Yeah It was me, um, Todd, Amy, and of course Andrew, and we're all making out, which is good.
And then I felt that Andrew had an erection, and it was just and I reached over, and I undid his fly.
And I remember, it was really small.
And I remember, it was just, like he was really terrified.
So you did it? I did.
With my panties on.
I just slipped them to the side.
And I did it.
I don't know why.
I just felt like I have to do this.
Hm.
You were 13? - Yeah.
Hey, Jenny.
You in there? He said you'd be home.
Jenny! Fuck, um What's going on? Shit, Tim Hm.
Who the hell is that? Um hm.
That - that's Tim - that - that's my ex.
he's renting me the place and he said that he would be out really late tonight.
Maybe we should try this another time, hm? How 'bout Friday? I can't.
- Oh.
I, uh I'm working, uh at Laurelwood Farms.
uh the late shift because I need the money.
I've been there are you free on Saturday night? I have a date.
- Oh.
I'm dating.
Of course you are.
This was a date, right? - Totally Well um, why don't I just I'll, um um, I'll call you and we'll work it out.
Yes Bye.
I'll see you later.
Okay.
I'll call you tomorrow.
I guess you weren't man enough for her.
- Would you grow up? Hello? Oh.
Hello, Gene.
How are you? Yes.
Well I would love to spend an evening with you and several of your manatee friends.
Well, I will see you on Saturday night.
Okay.
Bye.
Uh, thanks, Judge.
I owe you.
Uh, won't be long now.
I put in some calls downtown.
You know, this sucks! You need to take better care of your people! Oh, my god.
I got the message a half hour ago.
Oscar and I were doing the soup kitchen.
I'm so sorry.
Have a seat.
The petty beaurocrats are pulling a power trip on us, here.
Have they set bail? Uh, yes, it's $2,000.
We got it covered.
And for the artist Pernao or whatever her name is.
What about the others? What others? I'm not responsible for any others.
I'll see what I can do to get them through quicker, and then we'll get some bail bonds.
Fuck.
Fuck.
I need a cigarette.
You smoke? Not since I was 12.
Porter.
Jewell.
You made bail.
You guys.
Did they do anything stupid to you in there, huh? Oh, man.
Jail is whack.
Oh.
I'm so glad you guys are here.
Where's Bette? I don't know, she got thrown in a cell with - Oh.
This is Candace Jewell, my, uh, cell mate.
Bette has been telling me what an incredible job you've been doing at the C.
A.
C.
It's nice to finally meet you.
Thanks, you too.
Under some crazy circumstances.
- Yeah How'd you get tangled up in this mess? Oh, well, my crew and I were doing some work down at the gallery, and the bible thumpers started doing their thing outside, so one thing led to another Thank you so much.
That was really sweet.
- They treat you okay? - Yeah.
Oh, I want you to meet Ivan.
He gave me a ride over here.
- Hi.
Oh - she - Ivan - I'm so sorry.
ey, no worries.
You know, I'm happy either way.
We giving you a lift? - Yeah, West Hollywood.
Same here.
I'm staying at a hotel.
I don't know where it is, though, it's the It's the Sunset Marquis, it's right around where they live.
You know, I'm gonna stay, I think Cherie's gonna get me, so - What about you, Candace? Do you need a ride? Uh, I live all the way over in Silverlake, so I'll just get a cab.
Don't be silly, we'll give you a ride home.
I live in Las Feliz, I'll give you a ride if you'd like.
Oh, thank you.
That would - that would be great.
Thanks for giving her a ride.
Hey, uh Cherie, it's me.
Where are you? Um I'm free, finally.
So, if you still wanna get together, will you call me back? I uh I'm just gonna wait here til I hear from you, so so please call back.
Bye.
Uh.
Sorry about that.
Yeah.
That was too soon.
Can I ask you a question? Yeah Was it my fault? Was what your fault? You liking women.
Wa - was it because I was inadequate? Some way? No.
Um, 'cause, uh, it's been on my mind.
And I really need you to be honest with me.
You're such a good man.
When I say I've been with people, I don't mean 20 or 30.
Okay, so what? Like, hundreds, thousands? What? Somewhere between 950 and 1200 since I was 14.
Whoa.
Well, whatever, you know, it doesn't matter.
I don't care.
I turned tricks in Santa Monica with my friend, Clive.
And all these guys thought I was some little street fag and I could've been killed.
That's so cool when you think about it, right? Clea, it's not cool.
Listen, I like you.
But what you want from me isn't gonna happen.
Okay, you know I know, it's because of my father, right? You guys, you have this business together - Clea, I'm involved with someone.
Are you in love with her? Yeah I am.
Hey, girl.
Hey, you okay? Hey, you hang in there.
She'll be back before you know it.
I hope not.
Oh.
Okay! Well, you finally said it.
Can I say what it is now? You deserve to be happy Your happiness is just as important as anybody else's.
C'mon, The Planet is yours.
If you and Francesca are splitting up, she's not gonna take it away from you.
Yes, she is At best, she wants to be bought out I sat up all night trying to figure out how I can come up with that much money.
That's a lot of money.
I worked so hard.
Where's Trish? I decided to cool it for a while.
Oh, yeah? Why? I was accepted at the G.
S.
I.
E.
I'm finally, uh, getting my teaching degree Wow, that's that's amazing Yeah, so, when I switch departments, Trish and I can see one another again if if we still want to Did she cry? When you told her you had to break up with her? Yeah.
She did.
How's your writing? It's good.
I'm actually, um working on a story right now.
About a woman that's been mute from birth, and then she discovers that she's able to speak the language of manatees.
Allright! Allright, give it up! Let's have some love, for that was Phil McCockin! Allright, now.
For our final king of the night, let's give a good, hot welcome to Ivan Aycock! Hey, isn't that Robin, that girl Jenny's going out with, right there? Oh, yeah it is.
I have a date on Wednesday night.
Anyone I know? Um no.
Her name is Robin.
And, uh, I met her at Palm Springs when I, you know, when I went with Tina and all of them.
And you're telling met his because? Well, because, uh, you - you know that I can't afford restaurants right now - Let me get this straight.
You're asking to borrow money from me, for a date.
No, I wasn't, I was asking you if it's okay if I had her to my place.
I was gonna make a salad, I suppose.
Wednesday's basketball and beer night.
So, I'm not gonna be home 'til late.
If you want, you can use the kitchen.
Make your salad.
Hello, how's everything? I've heard about you.
Shane.
Check it out.
Shit, that sucks.
Well, do you think do you think she thought when I said like when I pointed her out, but I didn't that I no.
This is so wrong.
Yup.
Hey, Ivan! This is one of the best nights of music I have ever had! I mean and thank you for organizing the "Kings of the Night"! It was the bomb! The pleasure is all mine.
Why don't you make room for the lady? What can I get you, Kit? Um oh, nothing, I'm fine.
Yeah, but what's your drink? I mean, a Pink Lady, Cajun Martini, maybe a simple whiskey soda? I'm keeping dry these days.
Well, that's a fine thing for a beautiful lady.
You in the program? Yeah.
I am.
Eleven years next month.
Congratulations.
I'm, uh 37 days.
Thirty-seven days is a lifetime.
Look, if you ever need anyone to talk to or for any other reason give me a call.
Okay? Thanks.
Whoa.
You're not leaving already, are you? Oscar and I are due in court at 8:15.
Arthur Croft agreed to represent us pro bono against Clay Patterson.
How - did you - did you land Arthur Croft? Uh-huh.
Remember? I met him when Warner's got sued over that script I developed? Wow, Tina.
Oscar must be beside himself.
Yeah, and then, after we finish in court, I have a meeting with these junior high students from South Central.
We're starting an organic food co-op at their school.
Isn't that cool? Yeah, that's that's great.
Um, oh, wait did the, uh my Jill Sanders suit do you know - do you have any idea? Um I think it's at the dry cleaners.
Um I dropped it off last week.
Oh, great, then you could pick it up today, then? Okay? Bye.
Okay, so, he gets his, uh, Prednisone at 11 and 2 o'clock, and if for some reason I'm not home by 5 o'clock, just go ahead and give him his liquid thyroid medicine.
It comes in three flavors: chicken, tuna and sardine.
So, you know, just see what he's in the mood for.
Okay.
Bye, baby.
- Bye.
Thank you Bye, sweety Piddly-pie! Ton-Ton's gonna take extra special care of you! My handsome, loverboy puss-pot! Oh yes, oh yes.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Deb.
It's Tonya.
You will never believe where I am right now.
We're ready to install the main galleries, but I want you to keep the Anish Kapur crated until our technician arrives.
Yeah.
Hold on.
I think you should come down and see what's going on out here.
I'll call you back.
What? We have protestors setting up outside.
Ma'am, you don't want to go in there.
Yes, I do.
Are you aware that this so-called museum is run by homosexual pornographers? Are you a homosexual pornographer? Get outta my face, slimeball.
The C.
A.
C.
should be shut down! And the people inside locked away! Have you seen it out there? Yeah.
One of them tried to block me from coming in the museum.
Are you okay? Yeah - I'm fine.
I have movers due with a shipment of artwork in 40 minutes, I have 5 artists arriving to do installation work, and I have a bunch of lunatics out in the courtyard who apparently want to see me tarred and feathered.
But the main gallery looks great.
Well, we're nearly finished.
Here, let me show you some drawings of the shoji screens.
Okay.
So.
Fuck.
I'm sorry, I - What happened the other night cannot happen again, do you understand? Um okay, this is not a bearing wall.
So I figured we'd just erect the scaffolding here and Bette.
They have almost a hundred people out there.
They're threatening to not let the artwork in the museum.
Jesus! What are we supposed to do? We should call the police.
The police are here, but they're not gonna help you.
These protestors have a permit.
What about the alley? Can we take the trucks out back and load in from there? No, no, no, they're blocking that, too.
This is crazy! I don't I don't have time to reschedule and I'm not gonna back down from these lunatics.
Have you ever done clinic defense? Abortion clinics? I - no, I haven't.
I've just written checks.
Well, when we used to do clinic defense, there'd be, I don't know, 40, 50, 60 of them to every 20 of us, and so we figured the only way to get a client past them well, we would link arms.
And form a column to the street and the client would get out of her car, she'd be immediately inside of our column and we'd get her safely inside.
Like a human shield.
Yeah.
And how many people does it take to do something like that? As many as possible.
Allright, James, I want you to ask everyone in the office.
I think we have about 25 people.
Okay? And let's get on the phone.
I want you to call all the artists that are in town, I want you to call your friends, we need bodies.
Okay.
Wine? I have to get back to work.
I have a class of 10-year-olds aspiring to be tightrope walkers.
Ah, don't worry, we'll have it tonight.
Grazie.
Oh, actually I can't do that, either.
I, um I already have plans.
What kind of plans? Oh, is that a secret? Oh No, it's not a secret No, you should never tell a secret.
Never.
So tell me something else.
Do you like to read? Mm, I guess, when I when I have time.
I'm not exactly a big reader.
Have you ever read anything by, um, Anne Carson? Um I don't think so.
Does does she write novels, or Okay, I'm gonna give you a book.
And you can take it with you when you run away with the circus.
It's called, um, "Eros the Bittersweet.
" It's very romantic.
Miss Porter.
With all the controversy, is the C.
A.
C.
still going ahead with the "Provocations" show? Without the slightest hesitation.
I noticed Fae Buckley isn't here, do you know where she is? No idea.
Did you ruin her by exposing her family tragedy? Did you go too far? - I have to go, excuse me! Link arms.
Move around to the left and link arms.
You are obstructing commerce! If you do not let these movers through, you'll be violating the law! My god, you guys, it's a full-scale war Thank you so much for coming! Bette! Dana's coming, too.
Where's Tina? I don't know, when I left word for her.
She and Oscar were supposed to be in court earlier this morning, I can't get through.
So, come by after work.
I'll have the book for you.
Oh.
You know what, I'll just come by tomorrow.
No, I won't keep you long.
Just come by later.
Okay, fine.
You're very persistent.
AhPersistance est la mère de tout le succès.
I'll see you later.
Um, Marina.
Remember when we talked about kind of a plan? Well, we are gonna find you some partners, and we're gonna raise some money, and you are gonna buy Francesca out.
Well, what about you? You could be my partner.
Oh, I I'm not when maybe some of my royalties come in.
You know I haven't seen one cent from that Slim Daddy song.
What about Bette? She could lend you the money C'mon, you're good for it.
I don't know.
I'm on my way over there now, as soon as Ivan gets here.
Ivan.
Ivan is right over there.
Hey, Ivan, how you doin'? Ah, always good.
- Okay.
Ah, should we - better get going, I guess.
- Uh, yeah, let's go.
Uh, hey, girl, I'll catch you later, okay? - Yeah, have a great time.
Don't - don't forget to ask Bette.
Where's Tina? Which godless piece of filth is that? -Get off! Back off, you're getting too close.
You heard her! She said back off! You heard her! She said back off! She made a video of herself being sodomized by Jesus Christ! She was on her knees.
Naked.
With Christ committing unspeakable acts on her.
Holy shit! Wait! No! - I gotta help her! Hey! You have a DUI! If you go and get yourself arrested, it'll be years before you get a license again, allright? That's your sister right there, isn't it? C'mon.
She needs you on the outside.
You can't do anything for her.
Bette! Bette, is this your first arrest? How will you plead? C'mon.
It's okay.
Let's go.
- But Ow! Oh, god, I'm gonna die if my parents find out about this! Well, look at the upside: now, being a dyke won't be a big deal.
This is absurd! You'll be hearing from my law - Hey good-lookin' Remove your shoes and any hard objects including combs, hairpins, all watches and cell phones.
Oh, boy.
No, that's like taking our life support away, you can't do that.
No, just, let it go, Shane.
It's okay.
Take the fuckin' phone.
Don't lose that.
I'll also need all your jewelry And your eyeglasses.
Yolanda! Hey, it's Candace.
Listen, I'm in a little bit of trouble here.
Fuck, Tina, I know you're real busy saving the world and everything, but I need you to start answering your phone.
Hey, Cherie, it's me.
Look, I'm gonna be a little late for our date tonight.
Is he getting his medicine, is he listless? Has he had a poo? Alice, it's mom.
Can you drop my head shots by my agent? Why are we being held separately? Because you're high risk.
Dangerous ring leaders.
Aren't you gonna sit down? I can't.
Why? I can't sit near you.
What if you stay on one side of the cot? I'll stay on the other.
We'll draw an imaginary line down the middle.
I don't think that's gonna work for me I am in so much trouble.
Do you wanna play an alphabet game? I still want it to be a manatee.
Keela.
Hey.
Have you ever met a manatee? No.
They have the craziest mating behavior of any sea mammal.
She likes you.
Have you ever met a manatee? Yeah, there was a small herd of them beached off the coast of Boca Raton last month, and I was one of the biologists called in to protect them.
I'm Gene Feinberg.
Jenny Schecter.
What happened to them, why were they beached? Well, the, um the one female was running away from the 5 males.
She stays in heat for a month and the - the bulls spend the entire time smashing into each other, trying to have sex with her then they just kinda ditch her once she's pregnant.
Gosh, that sounds like a lot of humans.
Please tell me that's not your experience with men.
No.
Not exclusively.
Well, that's good.
Do you work here? Mm-hmm.
I'm Assistant Curator of Fish and Aquarium Dive Coordinator.
And you it appears, work at a grocery store? Oh, god.
Can you tell that by looking at me? Uh, well, I'm familiar with the red and white checked, uh blouse thing.
Laurelwood Farms, right? Yes.
I didn't know that fish had curators.
I didn't know that nice Jewish girls work in grocery stores.
Is that your life's calling, your No.
It's not my life's calling.
I'm I'm a fiction writer.
Cool How do you know that I'm a nice Jewish girl? Are you implying that you're not nice? Too many grapes, Keela.
If you wanted to have dinner with me, I could tell you everything I know about manatees.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
"Eros the Bittersweet.
" Oh, okay, I'll read it Wait, there is a passage that is so beautiful.
You know what, Marina, I - I really I gotta go.
I'm sorry.
Of course.
- Thanks.
The Greek word, eros, denotes want, lack.
The desire for that which is missing.
The lover wants what it does not have.
It is by definition impossible for him to have what he wants.
If as soon as it is had it is no longer wanted.
Excuse me? How much longer is this gonna be? You know - you know, this is really ridiculous.
Now, I have been here, I don't know how long trying to just - do you have any information - Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Sit tight.
Okay? I'm gonna go hustle up a couple of bail bonds, just in case nobody shows up with cash.
And.
I'll bring you some Reese's Cups.
How you know that's what I was jonesing for? Officer? I'm Franklin Phillips, Chairman of the Board of the California Arts Center, here to post bail for Bette Porter.
Thank god! Where you been, man? I - I've been at a cocktail party for the governor.
Who are you? Kit Porter, Bette's sister.
Ah.
Well, nice to meet you.
Can we, uh, hurry this up, please? We've got a lot of paperwork to process.
You might wanna have a seat.
Miss Porter? Go ahead, do the W's.
- West Virginia.
Washington.
Wisconsin.
Wyoming.
I think that's it.
There are no "X", "Y"'s or "Z"'s.
Let's do math.
What do you know? Two plus two equals four.
The square of the hypotenuse side of a right triangle is equal to the sum of the squares on the other two sides.
Um, do you remember the first time that you were ever really, really embarrassed by one of your parents? Absolutely.
It was before my dad got transferred to Texas.
We were living in Fort Lauderdale.
Thirteen Oh, my god.
- years old.
Junior high school.
What? I when I was 13, I wait, wait, wait.
I just had a total flashback.
I have to know more about that, please.
- No, no, no, I wanna hear about your story.
Okay, fine.
- Okay.
So, my mom's dropping me off at this party.
First time I get invited to a cool kid's party.
And, um, she insists on walking me in.
Which is already totally humiliating.
And then, she's kissing me goodbye, on the lips, and as she's walking away, she turns back and she calls out, she says, "Honey? You remember, the more you hang on to it, the more they want it, so don't let any of the boys get funny with you.
" Oh, it was horrible.
That's awful.
Turns out I wasn't even interested in boys.
Did you know that you were gay? No, I just knew I wasn't into boys.
I didn't realize I was attracted to girls until the first circus tour I did.
I fell madly in love that year.
Oh, god.
With the bearded lady.
- No! - Yes -No, it wasn't.
I can't stand it I'm sorry it's so painful.
It's so painful.
What are you doing right now? I just laid down.
I'm lying on top of you.
You know what I'm doing right now? I think so.
.
God, this is fucking insane! What are you doing to me? Fucking you Come over here.
I am there, you know I am.
So, um, I remember that we were all squished into the back seat of the car.
- Yeah It was me, um, Todd, Amy, and of course Andrew, and we're all making out, which is good.
And then I felt that Andrew had an erection, and it was just and I reached over, and I undid his fly.
And I remember, it was really small.
And I remember, it was just, like he was really terrified.
So you did it? I did.
With my panties on.
I just slipped them to the side.
And I did it.
I don't know why.
I just felt like I have to do this.
Hm.
You were 13? - Yeah.
Hey, Jenny.
You in there? He said you'd be home.
Jenny! Fuck, um What's going on? Shit, Tim Hm.
Who the hell is that? Um hm.
That - that's Tim - that - that's my ex.
he's renting me the place and he said that he would be out really late tonight.
Maybe we should try this another time, hm? How 'bout Friday? I can't.
- Oh.
I, uh I'm working, uh at Laurelwood Farms.
uh the late shift because I need the money.
I've been there are you free on Saturday night? I have a date.
- Oh.
I'm dating.
Of course you are.
This was a date, right? - Totally Well um, why don't I just I'll, um um, I'll call you and we'll work it out.
Yes Bye.
I'll see you later.
Okay.
I'll call you tomorrow.
I guess you weren't man enough for her.
- Would you grow up? Hello? Oh.
Hello, Gene.
How are you? Yes.
Well I would love to spend an evening with you and several of your manatee friends.
Well, I will see you on Saturday night.
Okay.
Bye.
Uh, thanks, Judge.
I owe you.
Uh, won't be long now.
I put in some calls downtown.
You know, this sucks! You need to take better care of your people! Oh, my god.
I got the message a half hour ago.
Oscar and I were doing the soup kitchen.
I'm so sorry.
Have a seat.
The petty beaurocrats are pulling a power trip on us, here.
Have they set bail? Uh, yes, it's $2,000.
We got it covered.
And for the artist Pernao or whatever her name is.
What about the others? What others? I'm not responsible for any others.
I'll see what I can do to get them through quicker, and then we'll get some bail bonds.
Fuck.
Fuck.
I need a cigarette.
You smoke? Not since I was 12.
Porter.
Jewell.
You made bail.
You guys.
Did they do anything stupid to you in there, huh? Oh, man.
Jail is whack.
Oh.
I'm so glad you guys are here.
Where's Bette? I don't know, she got thrown in a cell with - Oh.
This is Candace Jewell, my, uh, cell mate.
Bette has been telling me what an incredible job you've been doing at the C.
A.
C.
It's nice to finally meet you.
Thanks, you too.
Under some crazy circumstances.
- Yeah How'd you get tangled up in this mess? Oh, well, my crew and I were doing some work down at the gallery, and the bible thumpers started doing their thing outside, so one thing led to another Thank you so much.
That was really sweet.
- They treat you okay? - Yeah.
Oh, I want you to meet Ivan.
He gave me a ride over here.
- Hi.
Oh - she - Ivan - I'm so sorry.
ey, no worries.
You know, I'm happy either way.
We giving you a lift? - Yeah, West Hollywood.
Same here.
I'm staying at a hotel.
I don't know where it is, though, it's the It's the Sunset Marquis, it's right around where they live.
You know, I'm gonna stay, I think Cherie's gonna get me, so - What about you, Candace? Do you need a ride? Uh, I live all the way over in Silverlake, so I'll just get a cab.
Don't be silly, we'll give you a ride home.
I live in Las Feliz, I'll give you a ride if you'd like.
Oh, thank you.
That would - that would be great.
Thanks for giving her a ride.
Hey, uh Cherie, it's me.
Where are you? Um I'm free, finally.
So, if you still wanna get together, will you call me back? I uh I'm just gonna wait here til I hear from you, so so please call back.
Bye.
Uh.
Sorry about that.
Yeah.
That was too soon.
Can I ask you a question? Yeah Was it my fault? Was what your fault? You liking women.
Wa - was it because I was inadequate? Some way? No.
Um, 'cause, uh, it's been on my mind.
And I really need you to be honest with me.
You're such a good man.