The Looney Tunes Show s01e13 Episode Script
To Bowl or Not to Bowl
[Clock ticking.]
- Hmmm.
- Do you have any fours? - Daffy, we're playing chess.
- Ah.
Uh Was it colonel snow in the pantry with a candlestick? - Do you even know how to play chess? Of course I do.
[Gasps.]
Gin! Season 1 Episode 13 "To Bowl or Not to Bowl" Original air date: July 26, 2011 on Cartoon Network Check.
- Look over there.
- No.
Just look over there! - If I turn around, you're gonna flip the board over and say it was an earthquake.
- No, I won't.
I promise.
Just look over there Please? - [Sighs.]
- Earthquake! [Thud.]
That was a big one.
Oh, I better get going.
I don't want to be late for my singing lesson.
- You go to that every Thursday night.
I've never heard you sing.
- La la la la la lee lee lee lee lee la la la la lee The acoustics in here are terrible.
[Door open and close.]
[Car door open and close.]
Let the fun begin! - [Stammering.]
It-it's too bad Bugs can't ever come bowling with us.
- Yeah, but he's got those darn singing lessons.
- It's funny, I've n-never heard him sing.
[Music playing.]
- Nice hairnet, Pam.
Really shows off that big forehead.
- He-hey! I thought the gang could use some snacks.
Courtesy of yours truly.
- How thoughtful! - [Stammer.]
Thanks, Daffy.
- I took a twenty out of your wallet.
- Daffy, you're the best.
- We couldn't ask for a more generous team captain.
- There's more where that came from.
There's more where that came from, right? - Ohh.
- Ho ho! Guess what.
It's time for me to assign everyone their weekly nicknames.
- Ooh! This is my favorite part.
- Porky, your nickname tonight [Computer typing.]
- "The Porkinator.
" [Beeps.]
- Pete, your nickname [Computer typing.]
- "The Peteinator" [Beeps.]
- Oh, I like it! - Uh, D-Daffy? - Hold on.
Marvin, your nickname-- - "The Marvinator"? - Nope.
The, uh, uh [Computer typing.]
OK, yeah, "The Marvinator.
" [Beeps.]
- Daffy? - I said hold on, The Porkinator.
And finally, since I am the team captain, My nickname will be [Computer typing.]
- "The Grand Poobah.
" Wait [Computer typing.]
- Make that "Poobah The Grand.
" [Beeps.]
- Porky, I changed my mind.
You're player 4.
[Pins hit.]
Now let's bowl! All right, team.
Now, if we're gonna win the tournament this year, We're gonna have to step up our game.
[Ball roll.]
[Pins hit.]
[Beeps.]
- And that's how you do it! - Hey! - Yes! - Yeah! - Way to go, Daff! - Yay! - Well, if it isn't Daffy Duck.
Or should I say Daffy Dumb? [Chuckles.]
- Laugh now, Terry, because you'll be crying when we wipe the floor with you at the tournament.
- I don't think so.
This is our year.
- Ha ha ha ha ha! It's never your year, Terry.
You're up, Poo.
- [Grunting.]
[Grunt.]
[Ball rolling.]
[Ball rolling backward.]
- Good try, Poo.
- Daffy? - Bugs?! - What are you doing here? I thought you had your singing lesson.
- Oh, uh, I graduated.
The teacher said I had the voice of an angel.
- B-Bugs? I thought you had your singing lesson-- - What are you doing here? - I was just sitting at home doing nothing, so I-- - What's going on? - I told them both conflicting lies, and now it's all falling ap-- -[Stammers.]
Let me get this straight.
You're not taking singing l-- No.
Daffy told me he was taking singing les-- - So this whole time he said you were taking singing lessons, you could have been bowling with u-- - Ha.
Somebody sing something.
- Ohh - Ha.
I love that song! [Ball roll.]
[All pins hit.]
Yay, Bugs! - All right, Bugs! Way to go! - But you're gooder! - Bugs, my office, now.
- Nice office.
- Well, I'm waiting.
- For what? - Your apology.
- What? You lied to me.
Why would I apologize to you? Don't you see? I finally managed to cobble together a circle of friends so pitiful that I'm the cool one, and you're blowing it for me.
- Daffy.
- For some reason, people think you're smarter than me, that you're more talented to me, that you're better looking than me.
I personally don't see it.
But when I'm here hanging out with those nitwits, I'm the winner.
I finally found a place where I feel good about myself, and that place is right here.
[Toilet flushes.]
- I just can't have those guys like you more than me! - They don't like me more than you.
[Toilet door open.]
- [All.]
Bugs! [Toilet door close.]
- Ok, just tell them I had to go to my karate class.
- Wh-where's Bugs? - He had to go to his modern dance class.
- [All.]
Aw.
- But I bought everyone nachos! - [All.]
Yay! - Here you go, Pork.
[Ball rolling.]
[All pins hit.]
- That guy's good.
- He's the newest member of my team.
[Ball roll.]
[All pins hit.]
[Ball rolling.]
[All pins hitting.]
What was that you said about it never being my year? [Chuckles.]
See you at the tournament.
- I've n-never seen bowling pins shatter like that.
- Now how are we going to win the tournament? [Screeching.]
- I'll tell you how.
We're gonna train harder than anyone has ever trained before.
This parking lot.
Tomorrow morning [Car door open and close.]
Come on, Porky, drive me home.
- Hmph.
It's 11:30.
You said the training begins at - The training began at The first exercise: Patience.
You two, great job.
Porky, you've got some catching up to do.
Plus, the bowling alley doesn't open till noon.
See you guys in a half hour! [Gears grind.]
- Bye! - See you later! - The bowling ball.
The dictionary defines it as a ball used for bowling.
And that is why the dictionary is stupid.
Because to truly understand the bowling ball, you need to become the bowling ball.
- Are you s-sure about this? - Bowling balls don't talk.
- Whoa! [Grunting and exclaiming.]
[Strike.]
- Strike! - Ohh, nice! - You can question my methods, but you can't question my results.
Isn't that right, Porky? [Siren in distance.]
Porky, if you can hear me, I never asked anything of you in my life - I-I can hear you.
- But in order to compete, we need to have 4 people on the team.
- I-I said I can hear you.
- I heard you all the way down the hall.
- So I want to ask you this one tiny favor.
Get out of that bed, remove your I.
V.
, take the casts off your arms and legs, and bowl.
That's all I ask.
- Wh-why don't you just ask Bugs to take my place? - Bugs is the best bowler here.
- Right on.
Yeah, what a great idea! - I'm jealous of Bugs, but I hate Terry.
Jealousy or hatred? It's like having to choose one child over the other.
Hatred.
Surprisingly easy choice.
Bugs, you want to bowl? - Sure.
- Yay! - Yay! - Then let's win one for Poo! - Yeah! - Let's do it! - You're not gonna need your wallet.
You're in the hospital.
[Music playing.]
- Yellow bird.
Up high in banana tree.
Yellow bird.
You sit all alone like me.
Did your lady friend leave the nest again? This is very sad, make me feel so bad.
You can fly away, in the sky away.
You're more lucky than me I also had a pretty man.
She not with me today.
They all the same, the pretty men.
Make them the nest, then they fly away Yellow bird - Yellow bird! - Up high in banana tree; - [Screaming.]
- Yellow bird - Yellow bird! You sit all alone like me Can't you fly away, in the sky away? Picker coming soon, pick from night to noon.
Black and yellow, you, like banana, too.
They might pick you someday.
I wish that I was yellow bird.
I'd fly away with you.
But I am not a yellow bird.
So here I sit, nothing else to do.
Yellow bird.
- Yellow bird! Up in banana tree.
Yellow bird - Yellow bird! You sit all alone like me.
Did your lady friend leave the nest again? That is very sad, make me feel so bad.
You can fly away, in the sky away.
You're more lucky, more lucky than me.
- Oh, what a scene it is at the annual Royal Oaks Lennox Oakwood Lanes bowling tournament.
I'm positively a-twitter! - Ooh, I thought you were positively a gopher.
[Laughing.]
- On lane 1.
We have the Silver Foxes, led by their team captain Granny.
- On lane 2.
We have the Lucky Strikers, led by their team captain Terry Delgado.
- And on lane 3.
We have Daffy's Ducks, led by their team captain Daffy Duck.
- Sweaty hands you got there, Daffy.
Are you nervous? - No, I just happen to sweat more than the average person.
- Well, you're shaking.
You must be scared.
- Nope, potassium deficiency.
- Well, then how come you can't look at me straight on? You intimidated? [Eye turning.]
- Lazy eye.
- And here we go! Whoo! [Cheers applause.]
- Our first bowler of the night is Granny.
She's getting ready.
She's taking her time.
Just Really taking her time.
- This is going to be a long night.
[Music playing.]
- Pressure's on, time to shine Challenge made, stars align Victory is in the air tonight Like knights of old, the battle's set It's destiny, this vision quest Victory is in your grasp tonight Soaring like an eagle Over crashing waves of guts and glory From the mist a hero Like a legend from some mythic story Yeah Let's bowl Let's bowl [Strike.]
[Cheers and applause.]
- What an exciting tournament.
- Two teams neck and neck at the finish.
- The Lucky Strikers lead by one - But Bugs Bunny has one more left, and if he can knock over just 2 pins - Then Daffy's Ducks win the tournament.
- Ooh, we've got this tournament in the bag! - We should call ourselves Bugs's Ducks! [Whimpers.]
- Whoa! Ow! [All gasping.]
- Are you OK? Wh-what happened? - I twisted my ankle.
I'm not gonna be able to bowl.
- Then how are we gonna win the tournament? - You'll have to bowl for me.
After all, it's not Bugs's Ducks, it's Daffy's Ducks.
- [Gasps.]
You're faking.
[Wink.]
You are faking, right? - Yes, I'm faking.
Now go win the tournament! That's all we need.
[Ball roll.]
[Guter.]
[Sighs and groans.]
- Ha ha! Oh, yeah! This is the year! Ha ha! On you, Daffy! Ha ha! Oh, yeah! Oh, we're great! We're great! - Hold on.
Do hold on.
I'm getting word that there's been a technical error.
Apparently the pins were not fully set before the player released the ball.
- League rules clearly state that any technical error results in an automatic redo.
[Crowd gasps.]
- That means we have a second chance to win! You hear that, Terry? I won't let you guys down.
- Um, maybe we should let Bugs bowl.
- Yeah, I'm feeling much better.
- Wait.
I have to do it.
I need to win the tournament for the team And for myself.
- Are you sure? - It's 2 pins.
I usually hit 4 to 5 pins.
- Then go out there and hit 4 to 5 pins! Or at least 2.
[Ball roll.]
[Guter.]
- The Lucky Strikers win the tournament! Ohh.
Aww.
Ha ha ha! Yeah! We're great! You're not! We're great! Oh, yeah! What a feeling! [Lights clicking.]
[Giggles.]
[Light clicks.]
[Whoosh.]
[Laughter and music.]
[Engine revving.]
[Fire roaring.]
Meep meep! [Whoosh.]
[Whoosh.]
[Honking.]
[Honking.]
[Laughter and shouting.]
[Crash.]
[Tires squeal.]
[Ding.]
[Thud.]
[Ding.]
[Sand roaring.]
[Ding.]
[Honking.]
[Ding.]
[Thud.]
[Ding.]
[Clanking.]
[Boom.]
[Ding.]
[Crash.]
[Dings.]
[Whoosh.]
[Tires squealing.]
[Whoosh.]
[Hollering.]
[Punching sounds.]
[Punching sounds.]
[Ball rolling.]
What is going on? This is ridiculous.
- So when do you get back on your feet, Porky? - The doctor says with enough physical therapy, I'll be able to bowl in no time.
- Just needed my lucky ball! - Aah! I'm--I'm not a ball! [Crash.]
- Strike!
- Hmmm.
- Do you have any fours? - Daffy, we're playing chess.
- Ah.
Uh Was it colonel snow in the pantry with a candlestick? - Do you even know how to play chess? Of course I do.
[Gasps.]
Gin! Season 1 Episode 13 "To Bowl or Not to Bowl" Original air date: July 26, 2011 on Cartoon Network Check.
- Look over there.
- No.
Just look over there! - If I turn around, you're gonna flip the board over and say it was an earthquake.
- No, I won't.
I promise.
Just look over there Please? - [Sighs.]
- Earthquake! [Thud.]
That was a big one.
Oh, I better get going.
I don't want to be late for my singing lesson.
- You go to that every Thursday night.
I've never heard you sing.
- La la la la la lee lee lee lee lee la la la la lee The acoustics in here are terrible.
[Door open and close.]
[Car door open and close.]
Let the fun begin! - [Stammering.]
It-it's too bad Bugs can't ever come bowling with us.
- Yeah, but he's got those darn singing lessons.
- It's funny, I've n-never heard him sing.
[Music playing.]
- Nice hairnet, Pam.
Really shows off that big forehead.
- He-hey! I thought the gang could use some snacks.
Courtesy of yours truly.
- How thoughtful! - [Stammer.]
Thanks, Daffy.
- I took a twenty out of your wallet.
- Daffy, you're the best.
- We couldn't ask for a more generous team captain.
- There's more where that came from.
There's more where that came from, right? - Ohh.
- Ho ho! Guess what.
It's time for me to assign everyone their weekly nicknames.
- Ooh! This is my favorite part.
- Porky, your nickname tonight [Computer typing.]
- "The Porkinator.
" [Beeps.]
- Pete, your nickname [Computer typing.]
- "The Peteinator" [Beeps.]
- Oh, I like it! - Uh, D-Daffy? - Hold on.
Marvin, your nickname-- - "The Marvinator"? - Nope.
The, uh, uh [Computer typing.]
OK, yeah, "The Marvinator.
" [Beeps.]
- Daffy? - I said hold on, The Porkinator.
And finally, since I am the team captain, My nickname will be [Computer typing.]
- "The Grand Poobah.
" Wait [Computer typing.]
- Make that "Poobah The Grand.
" [Beeps.]
- Porky, I changed my mind.
You're player 4.
[Pins hit.]
Now let's bowl! All right, team.
Now, if we're gonna win the tournament this year, We're gonna have to step up our game.
[Ball roll.]
[Pins hit.]
[Beeps.]
- And that's how you do it! - Hey! - Yes! - Yeah! - Way to go, Daff! - Yay! - Well, if it isn't Daffy Duck.
Or should I say Daffy Dumb? [Chuckles.]
- Laugh now, Terry, because you'll be crying when we wipe the floor with you at the tournament.
- I don't think so.
This is our year.
- Ha ha ha ha ha! It's never your year, Terry.
You're up, Poo.
- [Grunting.]
[Grunt.]
[Ball rolling.]
[Ball rolling backward.]
- Good try, Poo.
- Daffy? - Bugs?! - What are you doing here? I thought you had your singing lesson.
- Oh, uh, I graduated.
The teacher said I had the voice of an angel.
- B-Bugs? I thought you had your singing lesson-- - What are you doing here? - I was just sitting at home doing nothing, so I-- - What's going on? - I told them both conflicting lies, and now it's all falling ap-- -[Stammers.]
Let me get this straight.
You're not taking singing l-- No.
Daffy told me he was taking singing les-- - So this whole time he said you were taking singing lessons, you could have been bowling with u-- - Ha.
Somebody sing something.
- Ohh - Ha.
I love that song! [Ball roll.]
[All pins hit.]
Yay, Bugs! - All right, Bugs! Way to go! - But you're gooder! - Bugs, my office, now.
- Nice office.
- Well, I'm waiting.
- For what? - Your apology.
- What? You lied to me.
Why would I apologize to you? Don't you see? I finally managed to cobble together a circle of friends so pitiful that I'm the cool one, and you're blowing it for me.
- Daffy.
- For some reason, people think you're smarter than me, that you're more talented to me, that you're better looking than me.
I personally don't see it.
But when I'm here hanging out with those nitwits, I'm the winner.
I finally found a place where I feel good about myself, and that place is right here.
[Toilet flushes.]
- I just can't have those guys like you more than me! - They don't like me more than you.
[Toilet door open.]
- [All.]
Bugs! [Toilet door close.]
- Ok, just tell them I had to go to my karate class.
- Wh-where's Bugs? - He had to go to his modern dance class.
- [All.]
Aw.
- But I bought everyone nachos! - [All.]
Yay! - Here you go, Pork.
[Ball rolling.]
[All pins hit.]
- That guy's good.
- He's the newest member of my team.
[Ball roll.]
[All pins hit.]
[Ball rolling.]
[All pins hitting.]
What was that you said about it never being my year? [Chuckles.]
See you at the tournament.
- I've n-never seen bowling pins shatter like that.
- Now how are we going to win the tournament? [Screeching.]
- I'll tell you how.
We're gonna train harder than anyone has ever trained before.
This parking lot.
Tomorrow morning [Car door open and close.]
Come on, Porky, drive me home.
- Hmph.
It's 11:30.
You said the training begins at - The training began at The first exercise: Patience.
You two, great job.
Porky, you've got some catching up to do.
Plus, the bowling alley doesn't open till noon.
See you guys in a half hour! [Gears grind.]
- Bye! - See you later! - The bowling ball.
The dictionary defines it as a ball used for bowling.
And that is why the dictionary is stupid.
Because to truly understand the bowling ball, you need to become the bowling ball.
- Are you s-sure about this? - Bowling balls don't talk.
- Whoa! [Grunting and exclaiming.]
[Strike.]
- Strike! - Ohh, nice! - You can question my methods, but you can't question my results.
Isn't that right, Porky? [Siren in distance.]
Porky, if you can hear me, I never asked anything of you in my life - I-I can hear you.
- But in order to compete, we need to have 4 people on the team.
- I-I said I can hear you.
- I heard you all the way down the hall.
- So I want to ask you this one tiny favor.
Get out of that bed, remove your I.
V.
, take the casts off your arms and legs, and bowl.
That's all I ask.
- Wh-why don't you just ask Bugs to take my place? - Bugs is the best bowler here.
- Right on.
Yeah, what a great idea! - I'm jealous of Bugs, but I hate Terry.
Jealousy or hatred? It's like having to choose one child over the other.
Hatred.
Surprisingly easy choice.
Bugs, you want to bowl? - Sure.
- Yay! - Yay! - Then let's win one for Poo! - Yeah! - Let's do it! - You're not gonna need your wallet.
You're in the hospital.
[Music playing.]
- Yellow bird.
Up high in banana tree.
Yellow bird.
You sit all alone like me.
Did your lady friend leave the nest again? This is very sad, make me feel so bad.
You can fly away, in the sky away.
You're more lucky than me I also had a pretty man.
She not with me today.
They all the same, the pretty men.
Make them the nest, then they fly away Yellow bird - Yellow bird! - Up high in banana tree; - [Screaming.]
- Yellow bird - Yellow bird! You sit all alone like me Can't you fly away, in the sky away? Picker coming soon, pick from night to noon.
Black and yellow, you, like banana, too.
They might pick you someday.
I wish that I was yellow bird.
I'd fly away with you.
But I am not a yellow bird.
So here I sit, nothing else to do.
Yellow bird.
- Yellow bird! Up in banana tree.
Yellow bird - Yellow bird! You sit all alone like me.
Did your lady friend leave the nest again? That is very sad, make me feel so bad.
You can fly away, in the sky away.
You're more lucky, more lucky than me.
- Oh, what a scene it is at the annual Royal Oaks Lennox Oakwood Lanes bowling tournament.
I'm positively a-twitter! - Ooh, I thought you were positively a gopher.
[Laughing.]
- On lane 1.
We have the Silver Foxes, led by their team captain Granny.
- On lane 2.
We have the Lucky Strikers, led by their team captain Terry Delgado.
- And on lane 3.
We have Daffy's Ducks, led by their team captain Daffy Duck.
- Sweaty hands you got there, Daffy.
Are you nervous? - No, I just happen to sweat more than the average person.
- Well, you're shaking.
You must be scared.
- Nope, potassium deficiency.
- Well, then how come you can't look at me straight on? You intimidated? [Eye turning.]
- Lazy eye.
- And here we go! Whoo! [Cheers applause.]
- Our first bowler of the night is Granny.
She's getting ready.
She's taking her time.
Just Really taking her time.
- This is going to be a long night.
[Music playing.]
- Pressure's on, time to shine Challenge made, stars align Victory is in the air tonight Like knights of old, the battle's set It's destiny, this vision quest Victory is in your grasp tonight Soaring like an eagle Over crashing waves of guts and glory From the mist a hero Like a legend from some mythic story Yeah Let's bowl Let's bowl [Strike.]
[Cheers and applause.]
- What an exciting tournament.
- Two teams neck and neck at the finish.
- The Lucky Strikers lead by one - But Bugs Bunny has one more left, and if he can knock over just 2 pins - Then Daffy's Ducks win the tournament.
- Ooh, we've got this tournament in the bag! - We should call ourselves Bugs's Ducks! [Whimpers.]
- Whoa! Ow! [All gasping.]
- Are you OK? Wh-what happened? - I twisted my ankle.
I'm not gonna be able to bowl.
- Then how are we gonna win the tournament? - You'll have to bowl for me.
After all, it's not Bugs's Ducks, it's Daffy's Ducks.
- [Gasps.]
You're faking.
[Wink.]
You are faking, right? - Yes, I'm faking.
Now go win the tournament! That's all we need.
[Ball roll.]
[Guter.]
[Sighs and groans.]
- Ha ha! Oh, yeah! This is the year! Ha ha! On you, Daffy! Ha ha! Oh, yeah! Oh, we're great! We're great! - Hold on.
Do hold on.
I'm getting word that there's been a technical error.
Apparently the pins were not fully set before the player released the ball.
- League rules clearly state that any technical error results in an automatic redo.
[Crowd gasps.]
- That means we have a second chance to win! You hear that, Terry? I won't let you guys down.
- Um, maybe we should let Bugs bowl.
- Yeah, I'm feeling much better.
- Wait.
I have to do it.
I need to win the tournament for the team And for myself.
- Are you sure? - It's 2 pins.
I usually hit 4 to 5 pins.
- Then go out there and hit 4 to 5 pins! Or at least 2.
[Ball roll.]
[Guter.]
- The Lucky Strikers win the tournament! Ohh.
Aww.
Ha ha ha! Yeah! We're great! You're not! We're great! Oh, yeah! What a feeling! [Lights clicking.]
[Giggles.]
[Light clicks.]
[Whoosh.]
[Laughter and music.]
[Engine revving.]
[Fire roaring.]
Meep meep! [Whoosh.]
[Whoosh.]
[Honking.]
[Honking.]
[Laughter and shouting.]
[Crash.]
[Tires squeal.]
[Ding.]
[Thud.]
[Ding.]
[Sand roaring.]
[Ding.]
[Honking.]
[Ding.]
[Thud.]
[Ding.]
[Clanking.]
[Boom.]
[Ding.]
[Crash.]
[Dings.]
[Whoosh.]
[Tires squealing.]
[Whoosh.]
[Hollering.]
[Punching sounds.]
[Punching sounds.]
[Ball rolling.]
What is going on? This is ridiculous.
- So when do you get back on your feet, Porky? - The doctor says with enough physical therapy, I'll be able to bowl in no time.
- Just needed my lucky ball! - Aah! I'm--I'm not a ball! [Crash.]
- Strike!