The Proud Family (2001) s01e13 Episode Script

Come on, everybody.
We're about to start.
Sticky, are we ready?
We are, if this baby works.
Ow!
Ooh, am I late?
I don't want to
miss the previews.
Suga Mama, there
aren't any previews.
No previews?
What kind of movie is this?
It's not a movie.
So, what is this
all about, Penny?
I'll show you in just a second.
Where's daddy?
Aw, daddy!
What? Can't a man
wash his hands?
Daddy, will you please sit down
so I can make my presentation?
Presentation? I
thought it was a movie.
Oscar, just sit down.
Ah, somebody been eating
too many biscuits at bingo.
The title of my film
is Penny's blues.
Blues? What do you know
about the blues, Penny?
Living in this house? Plenty.
Next, sticky.
This is me when I was born.
Real cute and real happy.
This is me at my
kindergarten graduation.
Still cute and still happy.
Notice the toothless smile.
This is me at ten.
Cute, happy and fashionable.
Wearing my Brandy braids.
And this is me at the age of 14.
No longer a cute little girl
but a beautiful young lady.
And unfortunately,
very, very unhappy.
And you ask, "why
is she unhappy?"
I didn't hear anybody ask.
Oscar! Go ahead, sweetie,
why are you unhappy.
Penny is unhappy
because she has never been
allowed to throw a house party
even though she maintains
an "a-" grade point average
has held a school office for
the past four years running
has earned 18 girl scout patches
avoided any undue
entanglements with the opposite sex
and is now taking Spanish
as a second language
and doing muy bueno.
And in spite all of this
I'm still not considered
responsible enough to have a party.
Hence, Penny's blues.
I don't know about the rest of
you but I give this two thumbs down.
I don't know.
Made me cry.
My poor baby can't
even have a house party.
Oh, stop with the
fake tears, Mama.
You never let me
have a house party.
You did, too,
have a house party:
The day after you were born when I
brought you home from the hospital.
The only time you
were ever cute.
Please, this is
about Penny, people.
Well, Penny you made
some excellent points.
And if you want to have a little
get-together with a few friends
I guess your father and I
would be okay with that.
Thank you, mom and
dad. This is the best. Bye!
The Proud family ♪
what? ♪
you and me will always be tight ♪
family, every
single day and night ♪
even when you
start acting like a fool ♪
you know I'm loving
every single thing you do ♪
I know that I can
always be myself ♪
I love you more
than anybody else ♪
and every day as I'm
heading off to school ♪
you know there's no
one I love as much as you ♪
family, a family ♪
Proud family ♪
they'll make you scream ♪
they'll make
you want to sing ♪
it's a family
thing, a family ♪
Proud, Proud family ♪
the Proud family ♪
they'll push your buttons ♪
and make you
want to hug them ♪
family, a family,
Proud, Proud family. ♪
Yeah, this party's
going to be off the hook
especially with you
mixing the ones and twos.
Well, I'll see you, sticky.
Or should I say, "MC Sticky
who jams on the m-i-c"?
Okay, bye.
I got a surprise
for you, sweetie.
A surprise?
Mom, you shouldn't have.
What is it?
I picked up some invitations
that I thought would
be perfect for your party.
Mom, nobody including me
will want to come to a party
if I hand these out.
Balloons and bears?
Those are for babies.
Ooh, balloons and bears.
These are out of
sight. Dynamite!
Okay, daddy just
proved my point.
Thanks, but I already got
my invitations printed up.
"Penny's get down"?
What? "It'll be off the
hee-zee"? What's that?
Dad!
- And what's this "8:00 pm until"?
- Until what?
Until they decide
to go home, daddy.
Well, let me
clear it up for you.
Everybody's going to
decide to go home by 8:30.
- Mama!
- They can stay until 11:00.
Don't worry, baby.
You can have the after
party at Suga Mama's house.
So, Penny
I figured, of course
you'd want to do
the old Proud family
tradition, talent night.
Talent night?
See? I knew you'd be surprised.
Oh, come on, Trudy.
The kids don't do talent night.
They want to jam,
get down, have fun.
That's why I invited my
good friend, Lou Rawls.
Who's Lou Rawls?
Mama, one, you
don't know Lou Rawls.
Louis the fifth, maybe.
Two, kids like to play games.
I remember we used to
play pin the tail on the donkey.
Mom, dad?
Yes, Penny?
I hate to break it to you
guys but you're not invited.
What?
Sorry, you two.
This party's only
for us young folks.
You're not invited
either, Suga Mama.
What are you
talking about, girl?
Ain't no party like
a Suga Mama party
'cause a Suga Mama
party don't stop.
Suga Mama?
The roof, the roof ♪
the roof is on fire ♪
we don't need
no water, let the ♪
Suga Mama?
Burn! Burn ♪
Suga Mama?
Burn! ♪
Penny, do you really think
we're going to let you have
a party here unsupervised?
No, daddy.
Y'all can supervise.
Just not where
anyone can see you.
You know, like the attic.
The attic?
We were just trying
to help, Penny.
Anyway, dinner is ready.
And everyone is
invited to the table.
Even you, Penny.
Mom, you know I
didn't mean it like that.
Now, Penny, I could understand
you not wanting
them at your party
because they're old school.
But what about me?
You got a real cool daddy.
I know about Busta Chimes,
U-Tip and Lil Chow-Chow.
Yeah, dad, you're the coolest.
Why are you laughing?
You got an hour?
Let's start with that
played-out high-top fade.
Okay, I'll see you there.
And bring your friend, too.
Girl, this party is
going to be the bomb.
No, not for you.
Zoey, what are you doing?
Passing out invitations.
Yes, to cool people.
I'm sorry.
I didn't get that memo.
Dijonay, that wasn't very nice.
Penny, come on now.
You can only have
cool people at your party.
Why stop there? How
about only tall people?
Or good-looking people?
Or only people with brown hair.
Where do we draw the line?
Uh-oh, here come
the gross sisters.
Quick, hide the invitations.
What y'all passing out, Proud?
My daddy's snacks.
You want some?
Ew, your daddy's nasty snacks?
I don't think so.
But I'd be willing to sell
them back to you for a dollar.
Well, look at it this way.
This is the first time
somebody actually got paid
for one of your daddy's snacks.
Everybody, quick, put
your invitations away.
It's Lacienega.
Hey, everybody.
Hey, Penny, the word
is, you're having a party.
Who told you that?
- Don't look at me.
- Never mind.
So, where's my invite?
Because you know it isn't
a party unless I'm there.
Oh, fine. Here's
your invitation.
Saturday?
Oh, I have plans that night.
I won't be able to make it.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Bam, because I'll be
hosting my party that night.
You can't have your
party the same night.
Oh, but I can, Proud.
And I'm gong to
have a better one, too.
I don't think so.
Bam, I got MC Sticky.
Well, I wonder who's going
to be entertaining at my party.
Let's play the
invitations, shall we?
Hi, I'm Lacienega Boulevardez
and you're one of the lucky few
to be invited to my first
annual boogie down.
It's going to be all that!
Don't forget next Saturday.
There'll be plenty of food
two dance floors, gift
bags and a whole lot more.
Oh, and last but not least,
did I say who our
special guest will be?
Jennifer Lopez!
It'll be the jam of the century.
Be there or be square.
Did she say Jennifer Lopez?
You heard it? J-lo, herself.
Step right up and
get your invitations.
Don't push. There's
one for everyone.
Now, that party is
going to be the bomb.
I mean, uh, that party
is going to be whack.
Nobody wants to see Jennifer.
She's way
over-exposed right now.
Don't worry,
Penny. I'm with you.
Yeah, me, too, Penny.
And you know I'll
be there for you.
Thank you, guys.
Don't worry, Penny.
We're going to make sure
your party is off the hook.
Hey!
Okay, it's three
minutes till 8:00.
You guys have to get.
Upstairs, Bueno Aires
It doesn't matter. Just get.
Tell you what.
I don't see who is coming into
this house you can't have your party.
Okay, everybody out but daddy.
Wow!
That is some kind of party
they're having next door.
You're right, Trudy. They
be jamming over there.
Baby girl, I think you made a mistake
having your shindig tonight, boy!
I mean, what a lame party.
They're going to be
jealous when they see
all the people lined
up to get into this party.
Don't worry, baby.
There's going to be
a party here tonight
even if it's just us.
That's not a party;
That's a disaster.
Oh, there you go, Penny.
Your first guest of the evening.
Hey, Penny.
- Hey, Penny!
- What's up?
Dijonay, I am so
glad to see you.
I didn't think anybody
was coming to my party
and I was going to have to
play games with my parents.
Yeah, Penny, look. My
mother can't find parking.
You mind if she parks
in your driveway?
Sure.
Thanks.
She says it's okay, ma.
Girl, I'm so glad you showed up.
We got a lot of
food, and Hey!
Where are you going?
I thought you were coming to
My party.
That's okay, baby.
I know. That's okay.
Man, they jamming next door.
Hoo-hoo, they got
food, rides, raffles.
Boy, I almost won me a SUV.
That's a s-u-v, Mama.
Oh, so now all of a
sudden you're smart?
Suga Mama, I can't
believe you went over there.
Well, now, if I'm not mistaken,
I wasn't invited to this party.
What's it like over
there, Suga Mama?
Ooh, it's slamming!
They got shrimp, lobster
and, ooh, the prime rib!
Suga Mama.
I mean, uh, it's okay.
You know, all your two-faced
friends, they over there.
Don't worry, Penny.
I'm sure your real
friends will be here soon.
See what I mean?
Hello, Mrs. Proud.
My name is Myron. May I come in?
Of course, young man.
Penny, one of
your friends is here.
Myron?
Hi, Penny. Hi.
What are you doing here?
They wouldn't let
me in next door.
Dijonay told me
to come over here.
She said you were desperate
and would take anybody.
She was wrong. Get out!
Penny, is that any
way to treat a guest?
He's not a guest, he's a pest.
- What was that?
- Nothing, mom.
Come on in, Myron.
And don't touch the snacks.
Those are for my friends.
Righty-o.
What's up, Proud?
You going to invite us in?
I would, but this
party's invitation only.
Here. Now are you
going to invite us in?
- Nope.
- Don't make us run up in this mug.
Penny, where are your manners?
Come on in, ladies.
Welcome to our home.
And how did you guys
get invitations anyway?
Shoot, we found these invitations
in every trash can in school.
If you would excuse me
I'm going to go up to my
room and cry my eyes out!
I can't believe I have
such fake friends.
You mean like you're
being right now?
When word gets out that
my friends didn't come
they're going to
clown me in school.
I'm going to clown you right now
if you don't get downstairs
with your new friends.
The nerd and the munsters?
They're not my friends.
You know we've taught
you better than that.
You are not to call
anyone out of their name.
I'm sorry, Mama, but
There are no "buts."
Now you wanted
to have this party
so get yourself downstairs
and entertain your guests.
Yes, ma'am.
Hey, Trudy! Bring the camera!
Trudy, you won't believe it.
Suga Mama wasn't lying.
Oscar, calm down.
What are you so
Lou Rawls!
Who's Lou Rawls?
Hello there, young lady.
He said, "hello there."
Oscar, quick, take a picture.
Who's Lou Rawls?
I don't know, my parents
don't let me listen to rap.
- Rap?
- Oh, uh-uh, boy, Lou sings.
"Love is a hurting
thing," "dead end street"
"tobacco road"
Actually, I did do a little
rapping on "tobacco road."
Lou, this is my grand-baby.
It's her party.
Hey, it's a pleasure
to meet you, Penny.
You sure have some nice friends.
They're not my friends.
Okay, let's get
this party started.
I got my games.
All we have to do is pick one.
How about crosswords,
backgammon or bridge or pinochle?
Slow your roll, Urkel.
We're playing pretzels.
Suga Mama, nobody
wants to play pretzels.
Wait a minute.
We down for some pretzels.
We ain't never lost
a game of pretzels.
Well, you're going
to lose tonight.
I've been winning pretzels
since FDR was in office.
I would've guessed
George Washington.
You're going to be
the first one I take out.
Dang, I like you, Suga Mama.
You're not one of
them soft grandmas, girl.
You're hard-core.
Know what I'm
saying? I keep it real.
Oh, no, I can't believe
this is happening.
Come on, everybody.
Let the games begin.
Come on, Penny,
that means you, too.
Nubia, you're up next.
Show me what
you're working with.
Oh, don't worry,
I can flex on you.
Go ahead, spin it, Bebe.
Okay, left hand on salt,
right foot on cinnamon.
Ooh, I hate to
tell you, Mr. Proud
but your breath is kicking
Like a soccer team.
Okay, okay, it's my turn.
Hit it, Cece.
Whee!
It looks like left foot mustard,
and right elbow is golden brown.
You'll never make it, ma.
Yep, Suga Mama, I
think you met your match.
Well now, I may have to
limber up a little bit first.
All right, let's do this.
Aha! I told you.
I'm the queen, baby,
the queen of pretzels.
I've got to give you
props, Suga Mama.
Your turn, Penny. Hurry.
No, that's okay, I'm cool.
Whee!
Come on, Penny.
It's left foot butter
and right hand cheese.
Come on, Penny, baby.
Come play with us.
Don't let Suga Mama win again.
Messing with me,
bagging on me
I won again.
Yay-yay!
Oh, Penny.
I told you I didn't
want to play.
Now, it's the moment
you've all been waiting for.
Everybody goes home?
No, it's the talent competition.
Yay-yay!
Somebody please shoot me.
Now, for my talent,
I'm going to tell a joke.
Why did the monkey
fall out of the tree?
Come on, does anybody know?
No, Trudy.
Why did the monkey
fall out of the tree?
Because he was dead.
summer's in the Meadow ♪
or when the valley's
hushed and white with snow ♪
white with snow ♪
'tis I'll be here in
sunshine or in shadow ♪
oh, Danny boy, oh, Danny boy ♪
I love you so ♪
I love you so ♪
That was marvelous.
Yeah, you girls can sing.
What do you think, Lou?
Hey, they're great.
Have you ladies ever thought
about singing as a career?
Naw, there's too many
crooks in the music business.
Hey, you're singing
to the choir, sister.
All right, Penny,
you're on deck.
Oh, mom, I don't want to.
Oh, go on, Penny, do something.
Okay, I'll do a magic trick.
I need all my guests to
come over here please.
For this feat of
magical wizardry
I will need a single
strand of human hair.
Ow!
Quiet, Myron.
Here you go, Penny.
I will now make
this strand of hair
swim across this
puddle of water.
Gather around please.
Now look closely.
Gotcha!
No, you about to get got.
Penny, that wasn't very nice.
I think you owe your
friends an apology.
I told you they're
not my friends.
Go away.
Do you mind if I
come in? It's Lou.
Yes. Go away.
Are you sure you don't
want to talk about it?
There's nothing to talk about.
This is the worst
day of my life.
Nobody likes me.
Hey, that's not true, Penny.
You've got a family that
loves you so very much.
And as long as you got
that, baby, believe me
you got all that you need.
You'll never find ♪
as long as you live ♪
someone who loves you ♪
tender like we do ♪
and you'll never find ♪
no matter where you search ♪
someone who cares about you ♪
the way we do ♪
whoa, I'm not
bragging on myself baby ♪
but I'm the one
who loves you ♪
and there's no one else ♪
no-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh one else ♪
hey Penny ♪
you'll never find ♪
it'll take the
end of all time ♪
someone to understand you ♪
like we do ♪
and you'll never find ♪
the rhythm or the rhyme ♪
all of the magic
that we shared ♪
just us three ♪
whoa, I'm not trying
to make you stay baby ♪
but I know somehow, someday ♪
some way ♪
you're gonna miss my lovin' ♪
you're gonna miss our lovin' ♪
you're gonna miss my lovin' ♪
I know you'll
miss our lovin' ♪
you're gonna miss my lovin' ♪
miss my love ♪
oh ♪
I'm sorry, everybody, for
the way I've been acting.
I've been a real jerk.
Sure have.
I tell you what,
baby, we'll forgive you
if you'll play one
more game of pretzel.
Okay, let's do it.
Yeah, let's go.
- Let's do it, Suga Mama, come on.
- It's about that time.
Thank you, Mr. Rawls.
Hey, anything for suga
Mama's grand-baby.
I'll get it.
I won!
- No, you didn't.
- I won!
Yeah, that wasn't even fair.
Hey, girl, we're ready to party.
Wait, let me check the list.
Mm, oops, you're not on it.
Come on, Penny.
We came over here
just to be with you.
What happened,
Lacienega ran out of food?
Yeah, some old lady and her
dog came in and ate everything.
And no Jennifer Lopez.
Can you believe her
dad misunderstood her
and instead of booking
J-lo, he booked t-lo?
- Who's that?
- Trini Lopez.
Some old guy singing "La Bambi."
Oh, so you mean now
that Lacienega's jammy jam
wasn't all that, you want
to come party with me?
Exactly.
We're sorry, Penny.
We didn't mean to
hurt your feelings.
We love you, Penny.
We were wrong.
So, how did that feel?
It feels great.
Good, now do you
want to feel better?
Yes.
Then you know
what you got to do.
Yeah, I know.
Come on in, everybody,
and join the party.
I knew we were girls.
Come on, y'all! Come on in!
May I come in?
Why not?
Hey, Lacienega, I've
got a little magic trick
I want to show you.
I'm going to need a
single strand of human hair.
Ow!