The West Wing s01e13 Episode Script
Take Out the Trash Day
-Previously: -Where'd you get that? lt says Leo McGarry spent 28 days in a substance abuse facility.
This was obtained illegally.
Records of these facilities are confidential.
He's got them.
l thought l'd kiss you.
Then l'd be able to give my work the kind of concentration it deserves.
l voluntarily admitted myself to the Tucson Rehabilitation Facility.
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to treat an addiction to alcohol and Valium.
Weather permitting, we'll be outside.
-Meaning? -No rain.
-C.
J.
-lt's gonna be 22 degrees.
-l know.
-Why do you--? This president is from New England.
Get used to that.
That's what he said this morning.
What else do we have? The president will sign the bill with 1 5 pens.
Someone wanted you to know that.
-C.
J.
-No questions about the pens.
l have a question about the pens.
''Josiah Bartlet'' has 1 3 letters.
How will he use 1 5 pens? Danny, you are the only one in the room doing the math on that.
My readers expect a little bit more.
have stuck something in about-- Yes.
He's gonna-- lnteresting.
He's gonna literally dot the l and cross the T's.
-Thank you.
-Freak boy.
Thanks.
The parents of Lowell Lydell have been added to the guest list.
-Also added to the guest list are-- -That's still on? -What is? -The Lydells.
l've heard they don't like the president and-- l've heard that too.
lt's ridiculous.
He's signing hate crimes legislation.
The Lydells' son was killed for being gay.
-Just asking.
-l heard it too.
-The Lydells are coming.
-They'll be available to the press? Where was l? Senators Breech and Larkin will be attending as well.
You've been a great audience.
Don't forget to tip your waitresses.
-Shouldn't guarantee the Lydells.
-They're not coming? They are coming, l'm not sure we want them.
-l flew out to St.
Paul.
-l spoke to the mother on the phone.
-She's fine.
-The father? He doesn't say much.
lt indicates-- His son was killed.
Want him to wear a campaign button? l do, at the signing.
The reticence he exhibited-- -Listen to yourself.
-Meet them, tell me what you think.
-You want me to audition the Lydells? -And to cut me some slack.
Dotting the l's, crossing the T's.
Thank you.
-We do our homework.
-You misspelled ''senator.
'' -We've got a sticky wicket.
-Don't say l'm working late.
-l need you to read a report.
-l'm in my prime.
No doubt, but l need you to read this.
We want Congress to okay funds for 1 00,000 new teachers.
They say we gotta stipulate that in sex ed-- -Abstinence only? -Yes.
l'd have no trouble passing such a class.
We commissioned a report on sex ed in public schools, and this is it.
-What's it say? -lt's not good.
How's it not good? lt says teaching abstinence only doesn't work.
People will have sex even if they're told not to.
-What do they recommend? -Abstinence Plus.
Abstinence Plus? What's that mean? -Sam's renamed it ''Everything But.
'' -''Everything But''? -They want teachers to teach-- -Yes.
The ''sticky wicket'' was-- A regrettable pun.
Should l order you food? l can't remember the last time l got home before midnight.
By the way, pages 27 to 33? A couple things every girl should know.
Get me a salad.
-Want to have dinner? -With you? l'm reading about sex ed.
l'm anticipating your joke and not finding it funny.
You'll have to date me.
You can't just grab me and kiss me.
-You can, l won't mind.
-l didn't.
You grabbed me.
First time.
Every other time, you grabbed me.
Randomly grabbing and kissing me.
There's better things ahead, as l'm sure you're about to read.
What do you want? An advance man for the VP took a Navy chopper to Pebble Beach for 1 8 holes.
-Are you kidding me? How do you know? -A source.
-What kind of source? -The anonymous kind.
-l'll find out.
-Do it promptly.
A pilot sat around on the taxpayers' dime while your guy hit sand traps.
-Okay.
Wait.
-See you.
Okay, you can go now.
No problem.
-Josh.
Did they burn the hamburger? -l said well-done.
He likes it beyond well-done, burnt.
Food's here.
-Did they burn it? -Yes.
-Did you check? -l'm not checking your food.
No, no, l'll carry it.
l like where, if you drop it, it breaks.
What's ''take out the trash day''? Stories we don't like, we give to the press in a lump on Friday.
Why do it in a lump? Why not spread them out? They've got X column inches to fill.
They'll fill them, no matter what.
Give them one story, it's X column inches.
-Five stories-- -A fifth the size.
-Why Friday? -No one reads the paper on Saturday.
-You guys are real populists.
-Salad's for C.
J.
An Alabama town wants to abolish all laws except the Ten Commandments.
-l saw it.
-They'll have a problem.
The Constitution separates church and state.
-Good point.
Two problems.
-l'm busy.
-The Commandments are hard to enforce.
-What is it? l just got asked to comment on a story that's running in The Georgetown Hoya.
The student newspaper? A professor is teaching what the paper feels is racist stuff.
-Funding for Head Start, welfare-- -Why are they talking to us? -Zoey's in the class.
-Who cares? This minute, The Georgetown Hoya.
Tomorrow-- The president's daughter has an idiot professor and.
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? -l'll talk to Zoey.
-Please.
What else? Coveting thy neighbor's wife.
How do you enforce that? We never have our chats.
-What chats? -Our late-night chats.
Did we ever do that? No.
Fellas.
My office.
-Did you know that there's a town--? -Yes.
-What do you think? -Coveting is a problem.
lf l were arrested for coveting, l'd probably bear false witness.
This sex ed report could not come at a worse time.
He's signing the Hate Crimes Bill.
He didn't write it.
-l wish we'd known it was coming.
-That horse left the barn.
Deal with it tomorrow.
What's this thing on the Hill? We're meeting with Bruno from an Appropriations Subcommittee.
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with jurisdiction over the White House budget.
-ls this about me? -lt's about me.
l withheld information gained during lnspector Javert's drug search.
-Can l say a word? -No.
-lt was the right thing to do-- -l know.
You're going too? -Yeah.
-Okay.
-l'm sorry to make you guys-- -Leo, please! -You don't know for sure.
-She just said she knew that for sure.
-She said she knew it in her heart.
-l know it for sure.
-She said it.
-Tell your boss.
-Excuse me.
-Good evening.
-What are you girls doing? -We're just talking.
You work for very important people.
This is not a place for gossip.
Yes, ma'am.
She knew it in her heart.
l'm wrong about things in my heart.
Yeah, but she's right about this one.
Here's a group of federal employees.
Can l talk to you? ln Sam's office? -We'll need to ask Sam.
-l need Sam too.
-Sam.
-Yes, sir.
Donna needs to talk to us.
Looks bad.
This man with the golf clubs and helicopter? -Chad Margrudian.
-Didn't he work for us? -Kept screwing up.
-How? He advanced the Puerto Rico trip and spent a day scuba diving.
On the New York trip, he got tickets to something the president didn't see.
-He's working for Hoynes? -Played 1 8 holes at Pebble Beach.
-Which he's supposed to do.
-But not take a Navy helicopter.
-What does this have to do with us? -We know who leaked the story.
You remember Chad Margrudian? He took a ride-- -l already know.
The golf? -How do you know? Danny got it from a source.
-He gave it to you? -Any problem? -Was it the other way around? A joke.
-lt better have been.
What else? There's a thing with Zoey.
Her professor's teaching things.
We're getting her out of class.
You can dump them both out with the trash.
And l was kidding before.
l don't leak stories.
Don't believe me, ask Danny.
-l do believe you.
-Good.
-You okay by yourself? -Why wouldn't l be okay? Okay.
Good night.
Her name's Karen Larsen.
She worked in the vice president's office.
Aides thought she had a bit of a crush on Hoynes, so they moved her away.
-Where? -l'm glad you asked.
Personnel? How high's her FBl clearance? -High enough.
-We found our man.
-Talk with her when you get back.
-Yeah.
The European Union favors importing bananas.
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from Latin American countries that used to be European colonies.
l don't want to talk about bananas.
Good morning.
Did you say you wanted a banana? Get him a banana.
-l don't want one.
-Sure? -Yes, thank you.
-lt's got potassium.
l'm done talking to you now.
Morning, everyone.
Sit down, please.
The point is, the rules discriminate against poor Latin American countries.
-Are we a Latin American country? -No.
What's the point? -American companies sell the bananas.
-l'm in trouble with Chiquita? lt's not you so much as-- Yeah, it's mostly you.
-Toby.
-Yes, sir.
We appointed people to the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.
Republicans, as well as an alarming number of Democrats.
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have held up those appointments.
-l've been briefed.
Their reluctance has little to do with bananas.
-l'm meeting people this afternoon.
-You're set? l was raised on Sesame Street, and on Julia Child.
l was raised on Brideshead Revisited.
The legacies are safe in my hands.
-You've got a problem? -You watched cooking shows? -l watched Miss Julia Child.
-Okay.
-C.
J.
, Mandy mentioned the Lydells? -Yeah.
-You'll sit with them? -This afternoon.
Talk to the father.
l'm concerned about the father.
lf you don't mind me asking, what is your concern? Mandy says he's withdrawn, that he doesn't say much.
His son was just killed.
-He was killed because he was gay.
-And? We can't put a guy front and center who's ashamed that his son was gay.
-Really? -Fathers and sons, C.
J.
He sells dental supplies in St.
Paul.
How enlightened will he be? -Yeah, but his son just died.
-Sit and talk to them.
-Yes, sir.
-ls that it? -Have you looked at the sex ed report? -l haven't had a chance.
lt's dramatic.
We should discuss the right forum to present it.
-l'll look it over and we'll talk.
-Yes, sir.
Josh and Sam, wait up a second.
Leo, don't go away.
Excuse us a second.
-What time are you going to the Hill? -Noon.
l want to preempt a hearing.
l don't want it.
l don't want it for Leo.
l don't want it for us.
They know that, and they'll want a deal.
Don't take anything off the table until you've talked to me.
-Yes, sir.
-Okay.
l'll probably spend much of my day talking about bananas.
-Godspeed.
-Thanks.
-Thanks, Mr.
President.
-All right.
-ls Simon Blye meeting with you today? -How did you know that? l broke into your secret schedule and took infrared photos.
Margaret told me.
Why are you meeting with that man? -He's a good friend.
-No, he's not.
-He's been a good friend to me.
-Which isn't hard when times are good.
The measure of a man is, how does he behave when things are otherwise? l need counsel.
That you couldn't get from me? Toby, Josh, Sam, C.
J.
? l didn't mean that, Mr.
President.
Your counsel is valued above all else.
l just meant l can use all the help l can get.
You put faith in people, and l love you for that.
-l don't want you to be disappointed.
-Yes, sir.
-Especially now.
-Yes, sir.
Okay.
You've got to read the sex ed report.
-l will.
-Thanks, sir.
Thank you.
Tell me something.
-Are we off-the-record? Are we? -Yes.
-Feels like we're on-the-record.
-We're off.
-Never mind.
-What? lt was nothing.
-l have no objection to the kissing.
-l understand.
-Don't think that it's a problem.
-There won't be any more kissing.
l'm sorry to hear that.
Can a father be embarrassed about his son being gay.
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even after his son was murdered? Yes.
To the extent that he wouldn't support a law.
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that punishes perpetrators of hate crimes.
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including the ones who tied his son to a tree and threw rocks at him? Yes.
-lt eludes me.
-l know.
-What about the advance guy? -l'll tell you Friday.
-Dumping it in the trash? -He's a C-level aide.
He's resigning.
-Minding the people's business.
-A job you're suited for.
-Goodbye.
-Okay.
See you.
Okay.
You should go now.
-l work here.
-Yes.
Then l should go.
Okay.
This isn't a trial or deposition.
You won't be sworn in.
You're not on-the-record.
There will be no record.
l'm on the Appropriations Subcommittee for White House budget and management.
Many of my colleagues want hearings.
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to determine any wrongdoing by the White House.
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in covering up Leo McGarry's problems with alcohol and drugs.
l want to see if we can avoid that, as l'm sure you do.
-Yes, sir.
-So, what happened? -Leo? -ls he here? -Yes.
-Send him in.
-Simon.
Thanks for coming.
-Of course.
-Trouble getting here? -No.
-How's Meredith? -Spending all her time in the country.
You built the house, Simon.
l know you're busy.
Why don't we talk about you? Okay.
November 21 , Congressman Lillienfield announced in reckless fashion.
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that the White House staff is on drugs.
We were announcing our nominee for the Supreme Court, so-- You didn't wanna blow the moment.
You can speak candidly here, Josh.
Were you asked to investigate? ''lnvestigate'' is a word that gets us into trouble.
-You held interviews to determine.
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-As a first glance.
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if staffers used drugs, or if anyone knew of staffers using drugs.
-Claypool subpoenaed the paperwork.
-Under the Freedom of lnformation Act.
l've got your Claypool deposition.
l wanna talk about it for a moment.
Sure.
Josh and Sam.
They're up with Bruno's people, trying to avoid a hearing.
They won't be successful.
Josh and Sam are good, and Bruno's a reasonable guy.
There'll be a hearing.
lt'll take months, it'll be awful.
We'll hear stories about booze and pills and God knows what else.
The president has a budget to pass, Mendoza to confirm.
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and he's gotta get a Democratic Congress elected.
Leo.
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Simon, did you come to tell me l should resign? Yeah.
l offered the president my resignation.
He won't accept it.
He's blinded by friendship and he's being foolish.
Point that out.
Simon, l'm just taking a guess.
ls there an op-ed piece coming out l should know about? ln tomorrow's Post.
l wanted you to know since we're friends.
l have a copy.
l don't need it.
l know what it says.
For the good of the party and the president.
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a leading Democrat calls for my resignation.
Won't get much attention, and it won't distract from the president's agenda.
l haven't seen you on the Sunday morning talk shows in a while.
-l'm glad l could help out.
-l hoped this would go differently.
Where's your concern for country, party and president.
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when you're out whoring for Atlantic Oil? -l'm insulted by that.
-l didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
You should walk out now.
As a matter of fact, l think you should run.
Oh, God.
-For how long? -After the midterms.
-Almost a year.
-Yes.
You want us to wait for a year? -Yes, sir.
-Why? l don't want the debate.
Nobody does.
Nobody wants to support it, or to oppose it.
Nobody wants it before midterms.
lf we put it in a drawer, you guarantee-- -No hearings.
-The president won't do it.
Yes, he will.
Leo hasn't done anything wrong.
The hearings won't turn up anything.
-We aren't scared enough to hold back.
-Stop it.
Honest to God.
lt doesn't matter what the hearing turns up.
This one is drugs, so it's sexy.
This is Geraldo's dream come true.
So don't get up with me, okay? l am throwing you a rope.
Something you should remember when you're on Face the Nation.
You can't get anything done because Republicans are vindictive.
This is what happens.
Teens in the White House.
You screwed this up from the beginning.
You should've been there on McGarry, and run an internal investigation.
You come remarkably close to perjury in the Claypool deposition.
l'd like to hold hearings into the two of you being stupid.
But l don't have that kind of time.
Here's the phone.
l'm sure the president is waiting.
Excuse us.
Toby, your argument isn't with us.
We watch PBS.
We like PBS.
But we work for congressmen who have constituencies.
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that wonder why the government subsidizes television for rich people.
lt's not for rich people.
The public television audience is a fairly accurate reflection.
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of the social and economic makeup of the U.
S.
lower than 20,000 a year.
Blacks comprise 1 1 % of both public and commercial television audience.
high-school education or less.
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1 % better than the commercial TV audience.
What are we talking about? -Are they here? -Yes.
-Get Mandy.
-Where is she? ln the Oval Office having a comfortable talk with the president.
''Most young people move from kissing to intimate sexual behaviors.
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during their teens.
More than 50% engage in petting behavior.
'' -ls that what l think it is? -Yes, sir.
''By the age of 1 4, more than 25% have touched a girl's--'' l won't say that word.
-Not gonna say that.
-Okay.
Not gonna say that.
Excuse me, Mr.
President.
The Lydells are in the Mural Room.
-Does C.
J.
know? -She's waiting.
-Mr.
President? -Go.
Thank you, sir.
Would you like to share the report? -With you? -Yes, sir.
-No.
-May l ask why not, sir? Because l'd rather not be in therapy for the rest of my life.
Very well, sir.
l won't say that word.
Mr.
and Mrs.
Lydell? l'm C.
J.
Cregg, and you've already met Mandy.
Yes, how do you do? Sit.
Thank you for coming such a long way.
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so soon after this unspeakable tragedy.
Glad to be here.
That's why we've asked to talk to you.
lt was Mandy's impression.
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that you and your husband have some reservations.
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about appearing in support of the president.
l hate to have to put it so bluntly, but is that true? We strongly support the Hate Crimes Law he's signing.
-Mr.
Lydell? -Yes.
l'm sorry, l was asking.
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Mr.
Lydell, l don't know how else to put this.
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but if you appear in front of the press.
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to be at all embarrassed by your son's homosexuality.
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l guess, let me just ask: Do you support the president? -Yes, we do.
-No, we do not.
No, that was really the last-- No, we do not.
The Hate Crimes Bill is fine.
Who gives a damn? l don't care.
We shouldn't make laws against what's in a person's head.
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but l don't give a damn.
lt's fine.
l don't understand how this president, who l voted for.
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l don't understand how he can take such a weak position on gay rights.
Gays in the military, same-sex marriage, gay adoption.
Where the hell is he? l want to know what quality of parenting.
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the president feels my son lacked.
This president has served not one day in uniform.
l had two tours in Vietnam.
What quality necessary to being a soldier does he feel my son lacked? Lady, l'm not embarrassed that my son was gay.
My government is.
Will you excuse us a moment? Mandy.
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-Send them home.
-They'll be fine.
You heard the man.
When it's over, the press will surround them.
-So he says what he says.
-What? He made a reasonable point.
He has a right.
-To talk to reporters on our dime? -Yeah, maybe.
Yeah.
-You're the press secretary.
-They said they support the bill.
Get it together.
Yeah, all right.
l know.
l know.
-We have to send them home.
-l know.
-l'll go let them know.
-No, no.
l'll do it.
l got news for you.
PBS claims that most households are weekly viewers.
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come from the Nielsen index based on diaries.
They show higher PBS viewing than those gathered by the automated boxes.
Why? People wanna seem more sophisticated than they are.
-That's right.
-There's one other thing.
Product licensing for Big Bird and Fuzzy Bear toys-- -Fozzie Bear.
-Whatever.
lt's Fozzie Bear, not Fuzzy Bear.
Licensing for this merchandise brings in over $20 million a year.
All of it goes to the show's producer, the Children's Television Workshop.
This is a company whose CEO earns high six figures per year.
Yet Sesame Street is subsidized by taxpayer dollars.
-That's a reasonable complaint.
-And? l don't care.
We're gonna see to all those things.
But when the public is concerned about sex and violence on TV.
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we're gonna protect The Muppets.
We're gonna protect Wall Street Week.
We'll protect Live from Lincoln Center and we'll protect Julia Child.
-Toby-- -Hang on.
You wanted to see me? -Good news.
-What? Josh and Sam cut a deal.
No hearing.
Leo's out of the woods.
Toby, that's great.
l gotta get back in there, this is too much fun.
A town in Alabama wants to pass a law.
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saying if l don't honor my father, l go to jail.
How do they know if you're honoring him? They've overlooked that problem.
-She's here.
-Send her in.
-Karen Larsen? -Yes.
-l'm Sam Seaborn.
-l know.
The advance man you ratted out works for the vice president now.
-Screwed yourself.
-l didn't-- Trying to win one for the vice president? l wasn't.
l've got Ginger, a guy from political liaison and two reporters.
Trying to protect your boss? People say you're acting funny.
Like you're guilty.
They think you leaked the advance man story.
l think something else.
l had nothing to do with-- l don't care about the golf or the helicopter.
l don't care about the advance man.
Look at me.
Did you give Leo McGarry's personnel file to Lillienfield and Claypool? -Oh.
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-What? -Mr.
Claypool is a family friend-- -Cathy! Take her to her office and stand there while she cleans out her desk.
Security's gonna throw you out of the building in 1 5 minutes.
You're not gonna believe this, but l'd like a banana.
-l'm afraid not, sir, no.
-Why not? -l offered one, and you were snippy.
-l wasn't snippy.
l'm afraid you were, Mr.
President.
C.
J.
's waiting.
Thank you, Mrs.
Landingham.
She withholds food from me.
l hate to harp on this, but-- -The sex ed report.
-Yes.
-We'll leave it alone for a while.
-When you say-- After midterms.
A year from now.
We're sticking it in a drawer? lt's pretty incendiary.
You don't think we have an obligation-- lt won't play well at a PTA meeting.
lt says we should teach kids to have sex.
Excuse me, but it does not.
Yes, but that's how it's gonna play.
Withholding knowledge about sex doesn't keep teens from having sex.
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it keeps them from doing it safely.
Teaching safe sex doesn't up the rate of sex, it ups the rate of safe sex.
We wanted this report.
They're doctors.
We asked a question.
We hide it because we don't like the answer? At the moment, Congress will only give funding to sex education programs.
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that teach abstinence-- We have a huge pulpit-- We'll avail ourselves of that pulpit after the midterm elections.
l think l understand.
-l needed to get Leo off the hook.
-lt's the deal Josh and Sam made.
Yes.
We'll deal with it after the midterm elections.
-l understand.
-l was hoping you would.
Yes, sir.
Some of the press already know the report came back-- Yeah.
lt's okay to tell them we got it.
Don't make a big deal.
We got it, we're looking at it.
Throw it out with the trash.
-Yes, sir.
-Thanks, C.
J.
Thank you, sir.
Mr.
President? We can all be better teachers.
l know.
C.
J.
? What are you doing? What're you doing? l was.
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-Nothing.
-Okay.
Danny? lf you call the Lydells and ask-- -Don't leak me a story.
-l wasn't.
l've seen that look before.
You got a story in the trash that you want out, someone said no.
-They're all stories.
-That happens.
-You never took a free lead--? -l always took a lead.
Not from you.
Why? ln 20 minutes, you'll remember you're a professional.
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and you're not gonna like me anymore.
You think l like you now? As long as you keep grabbing me and kissing me, what the hell do l care? Good point.
-lf there's a story, l'll find it.
-No, you won't.
How do you know? -Because we've gotten good at this.
-Yes, you have.
Yes, we have.
-Leo? -Yeah.
-Karen Larsen is here.
-Thanks.
-l'm Leo McGarry.
-Yes, sir.
l wanted to meet you and l wanted you to meet me.
Yes, sir.
Would you like to put that down and talk? lf you don't, l understand.
When you read in my file that l'd been treated for substance abuse.
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what went through your mind? Karen, it's okay.
The worst thing l can do is fire you, and l've already done that.
My father drank.
So did mine.
ln fact, he died from it.
He came home one night, very drunk.
My mother was yelling at him.
l heard the yelling from my bedroom.
She came upstairs, and he went out to the garage and shot himself.
ls that why you drank and took drugs? l drank and took drugs because l'm a drug addict and an alcoholic.
How long did it take you to get cured? l'm not cured.
You don't get cured.
l haven't had a drink or a pill in six and a half years.
Which isn't to say l won't have one tomorrow.
-What would happen if you did? -l don't know.
Probably a nightmare like both our fathers experienced.
And me too.
So after six and a half years, you're not allowed to have a drink? The problem is, l don't want a drink.
l want 1 0 drinks.
Are things that bad? -No.
-Then why? Because l'm an alcoholic.
-l don't understand.
-l know.
lt's okay.
Hardly anyone does.
lt's very hard to understand.
You're not like what l thought you would be like.
You haven't answered my question yet.
When you saw l'd been through treatment.
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what went through your mind? My father used to.
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You have all these important decisions to make in your job.
Every day.
All the time.
Decisions l can't even.
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ln people's lives.
Karen, what you did caused a lot of problems.
For me, for the president, for a lot of people we don't even know.
But l'm not sure it wasn't a little bit brave.
-Did you like working here? -Yes, sir.
Then why don't you go unpack your carton.
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and you and l will give each other a second chance.
Okay.
Okay.
--a section of the report.
A few quick things.
Chad Margrudian resigned from the vice president's office.
The appointees to the Corporation for Public Broadcasting should be confirmed next week.
The Lydells won 't be able to be at the bill-signing this evening.
Family business required them to go back to St.
Paul.
SDl Media Group (ENGLlSH)
This was obtained illegally.
Records of these facilities are confidential.
He's got them.
l thought l'd kiss you.
Then l'd be able to give my work the kind of concentration it deserves.
l voluntarily admitted myself to the Tucson Rehabilitation Facility.
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to treat an addiction to alcohol and Valium.
Weather permitting, we'll be outside.
-Meaning? -No rain.
-C.
J.
-lt's gonna be 22 degrees.
-l know.
-Why do you--? This president is from New England.
Get used to that.
That's what he said this morning.
What else do we have? The president will sign the bill with 1 5 pens.
Someone wanted you to know that.
-C.
J.
-No questions about the pens.
l have a question about the pens.
''Josiah Bartlet'' has 1 3 letters.
How will he use 1 5 pens? Danny, you are the only one in the room doing the math on that.
My readers expect a little bit more.
have stuck something in about-- Yes.
He's gonna-- lnteresting.
He's gonna literally dot the l and cross the T's.
-Thank you.
-Freak boy.
Thanks.
The parents of Lowell Lydell have been added to the guest list.
-Also added to the guest list are-- -That's still on? -What is? -The Lydells.
l've heard they don't like the president and-- l've heard that too.
lt's ridiculous.
He's signing hate crimes legislation.
The Lydells' son was killed for being gay.
-Just asking.
-l heard it too.
-The Lydells are coming.
-They'll be available to the press? Where was l? Senators Breech and Larkin will be attending as well.
You've been a great audience.
Don't forget to tip your waitresses.
-Shouldn't guarantee the Lydells.
-They're not coming? They are coming, l'm not sure we want them.
-l flew out to St.
Paul.
-l spoke to the mother on the phone.
-She's fine.
-The father? He doesn't say much.
lt indicates-- His son was killed.
Want him to wear a campaign button? l do, at the signing.
The reticence he exhibited-- -Listen to yourself.
-Meet them, tell me what you think.
-You want me to audition the Lydells? -And to cut me some slack.
Dotting the l's, crossing the T's.
Thank you.
-We do our homework.
-You misspelled ''senator.
'' -We've got a sticky wicket.
-Don't say l'm working late.
-l need you to read a report.
-l'm in my prime.
No doubt, but l need you to read this.
We want Congress to okay funds for 1 00,000 new teachers.
They say we gotta stipulate that in sex ed-- -Abstinence only? -Yes.
l'd have no trouble passing such a class.
We commissioned a report on sex ed in public schools, and this is it.
-What's it say? -lt's not good.
How's it not good? lt says teaching abstinence only doesn't work.
People will have sex even if they're told not to.
-What do they recommend? -Abstinence Plus.
Abstinence Plus? What's that mean? -Sam's renamed it ''Everything But.
'' -''Everything But''? -They want teachers to teach-- -Yes.
The ''sticky wicket'' was-- A regrettable pun.
Should l order you food? l can't remember the last time l got home before midnight.
By the way, pages 27 to 33? A couple things every girl should know.
Get me a salad.
-Want to have dinner? -With you? l'm reading about sex ed.
l'm anticipating your joke and not finding it funny.
You'll have to date me.
You can't just grab me and kiss me.
-You can, l won't mind.
-l didn't.
You grabbed me.
First time.
Every other time, you grabbed me.
Randomly grabbing and kissing me.
There's better things ahead, as l'm sure you're about to read.
What do you want? An advance man for the VP took a Navy chopper to Pebble Beach for 1 8 holes.
-Are you kidding me? How do you know? -A source.
-What kind of source? -The anonymous kind.
-l'll find out.
-Do it promptly.
A pilot sat around on the taxpayers' dime while your guy hit sand traps.
-Okay.
Wait.
-See you.
Okay, you can go now.
No problem.
-Josh.
Did they burn the hamburger? -l said well-done.
He likes it beyond well-done, burnt.
Food's here.
-Did they burn it? -Yes.
-Did you check? -l'm not checking your food.
No, no, l'll carry it.
l like where, if you drop it, it breaks.
What's ''take out the trash day''? Stories we don't like, we give to the press in a lump on Friday.
Why do it in a lump? Why not spread them out? They've got X column inches to fill.
They'll fill them, no matter what.
Give them one story, it's X column inches.
-Five stories-- -A fifth the size.
-Why Friday? -No one reads the paper on Saturday.
-You guys are real populists.
-Salad's for C.
J.
An Alabama town wants to abolish all laws except the Ten Commandments.
-l saw it.
-They'll have a problem.
The Constitution separates church and state.
-Good point.
Two problems.
-l'm busy.
-The Commandments are hard to enforce.
-What is it? l just got asked to comment on a story that's running in The Georgetown Hoya.
The student newspaper? A professor is teaching what the paper feels is racist stuff.
-Funding for Head Start, welfare-- -Why are they talking to us? -Zoey's in the class.
-Who cares? This minute, The Georgetown Hoya.
Tomorrow-- The president's daughter has an idiot professor and.
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? -l'll talk to Zoey.
-Please.
What else? Coveting thy neighbor's wife.
How do you enforce that? We never have our chats.
-What chats? -Our late-night chats.
Did we ever do that? No.
Fellas.
My office.
-Did you know that there's a town--? -Yes.
-What do you think? -Coveting is a problem.
lf l were arrested for coveting, l'd probably bear false witness.
This sex ed report could not come at a worse time.
He's signing the Hate Crimes Bill.
He didn't write it.
-l wish we'd known it was coming.
-That horse left the barn.
Deal with it tomorrow.
What's this thing on the Hill? We're meeting with Bruno from an Appropriations Subcommittee.
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with jurisdiction over the White House budget.
-ls this about me? -lt's about me.
l withheld information gained during lnspector Javert's drug search.
-Can l say a word? -No.
-lt was the right thing to do-- -l know.
You're going too? -Yeah.
-Okay.
-l'm sorry to make you guys-- -Leo, please! -You don't know for sure.
-She just said she knew that for sure.
-She said she knew it in her heart.
-l know it for sure.
-She said it.
-Tell your boss.
-Excuse me.
-Good evening.
-What are you girls doing? -We're just talking.
You work for very important people.
This is not a place for gossip.
Yes, ma'am.
She knew it in her heart.
l'm wrong about things in my heart.
Yeah, but she's right about this one.
Here's a group of federal employees.
Can l talk to you? ln Sam's office? -We'll need to ask Sam.
-l need Sam too.
-Sam.
-Yes, sir.
Donna needs to talk to us.
Looks bad.
This man with the golf clubs and helicopter? -Chad Margrudian.
-Didn't he work for us? -Kept screwing up.
-How? He advanced the Puerto Rico trip and spent a day scuba diving.
On the New York trip, he got tickets to something the president didn't see.
-He's working for Hoynes? -Played 1 8 holes at Pebble Beach.
-Which he's supposed to do.
-But not take a Navy helicopter.
-What does this have to do with us? -We know who leaked the story.
You remember Chad Margrudian? He took a ride-- -l already know.
The golf? -How do you know? Danny got it from a source.
-He gave it to you? -Any problem? -Was it the other way around? A joke.
-lt better have been.
What else? There's a thing with Zoey.
Her professor's teaching things.
We're getting her out of class.
You can dump them both out with the trash.
And l was kidding before.
l don't leak stories.
Don't believe me, ask Danny.
-l do believe you.
-Good.
-You okay by yourself? -Why wouldn't l be okay? Okay.
Good night.
Her name's Karen Larsen.
She worked in the vice president's office.
Aides thought she had a bit of a crush on Hoynes, so they moved her away.
-Where? -l'm glad you asked.
Personnel? How high's her FBl clearance? -High enough.
-We found our man.
-Talk with her when you get back.
-Yeah.
The European Union favors importing bananas.
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from Latin American countries that used to be European colonies.
l don't want to talk about bananas.
Good morning.
Did you say you wanted a banana? Get him a banana.
-l don't want one.
-Sure? -Yes, thank you.
-lt's got potassium.
l'm done talking to you now.
Morning, everyone.
Sit down, please.
The point is, the rules discriminate against poor Latin American countries.
-Are we a Latin American country? -No.
What's the point? -American companies sell the bananas.
-l'm in trouble with Chiquita? lt's not you so much as-- Yeah, it's mostly you.
-Toby.
-Yes, sir.
We appointed people to the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.
Republicans, as well as an alarming number of Democrats.
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-.
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have held up those appointments.
-l've been briefed.
Their reluctance has little to do with bananas.
-l'm meeting people this afternoon.
-You're set? l was raised on Sesame Street, and on Julia Child.
l was raised on Brideshead Revisited.
The legacies are safe in my hands.
-You've got a problem? -You watched cooking shows? -l watched Miss Julia Child.
-Okay.
-C.
J.
, Mandy mentioned the Lydells? -Yeah.
-You'll sit with them? -This afternoon.
Talk to the father.
l'm concerned about the father.
lf you don't mind me asking, what is your concern? Mandy says he's withdrawn, that he doesn't say much.
His son was just killed.
-He was killed because he was gay.
-And? We can't put a guy front and center who's ashamed that his son was gay.
-Really? -Fathers and sons, C.
J.
He sells dental supplies in St.
Paul.
How enlightened will he be? -Yeah, but his son just died.
-Sit and talk to them.
-Yes, sir.
-ls that it? -Have you looked at the sex ed report? -l haven't had a chance.
lt's dramatic.
We should discuss the right forum to present it.
-l'll look it over and we'll talk.
-Yes, sir.
Josh and Sam, wait up a second.
Leo, don't go away.
Excuse us a second.
-What time are you going to the Hill? -Noon.
l want to preempt a hearing.
l don't want it.
l don't want it for Leo.
l don't want it for us.
They know that, and they'll want a deal.
Don't take anything off the table until you've talked to me.
-Yes, sir.
-Okay.
l'll probably spend much of my day talking about bananas.
-Godspeed.
-Thanks.
-Thanks, Mr.
President.
-All right.
-ls Simon Blye meeting with you today? -How did you know that? l broke into your secret schedule and took infrared photos.
Margaret told me.
Why are you meeting with that man? -He's a good friend.
-No, he's not.
-He's been a good friend to me.
-Which isn't hard when times are good.
The measure of a man is, how does he behave when things are otherwise? l need counsel.
That you couldn't get from me? Toby, Josh, Sam, C.
J.
? l didn't mean that, Mr.
President.
Your counsel is valued above all else.
l just meant l can use all the help l can get.
You put faith in people, and l love you for that.
-l don't want you to be disappointed.
-Yes, sir.
-Especially now.
-Yes, sir.
Okay.
You've got to read the sex ed report.
-l will.
-Thanks, sir.
Thank you.
Tell me something.
-Are we off-the-record? Are we? -Yes.
-Feels like we're on-the-record.
-We're off.
-Never mind.
-What? lt was nothing.
-l have no objection to the kissing.
-l understand.
-Don't think that it's a problem.
-There won't be any more kissing.
l'm sorry to hear that.
Can a father be embarrassed about his son being gay.
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even after his son was murdered? Yes.
To the extent that he wouldn't support a law.
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that punishes perpetrators of hate crimes.
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including the ones who tied his son to a tree and threw rocks at him? Yes.
-lt eludes me.
-l know.
-What about the advance guy? -l'll tell you Friday.
-Dumping it in the trash? -He's a C-level aide.
He's resigning.
-Minding the people's business.
-A job you're suited for.
-Goodbye.
-Okay.
See you.
Okay.
You should go now.
-l work here.
-Yes.
Then l should go.
Okay.
This isn't a trial or deposition.
You won't be sworn in.
You're not on-the-record.
There will be no record.
l'm on the Appropriations Subcommittee for White House budget and management.
Many of my colleagues want hearings.
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to determine any wrongdoing by the White House.
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in covering up Leo McGarry's problems with alcohol and drugs.
l want to see if we can avoid that, as l'm sure you do.
-Yes, sir.
-So, what happened? -Leo? -ls he here? -Yes.
-Send him in.
-Simon.
Thanks for coming.
-Of course.
-Trouble getting here? -No.
-How's Meredith? -Spending all her time in the country.
You built the house, Simon.
l know you're busy.
Why don't we talk about you? Okay.
November 21 , Congressman Lillienfield announced in reckless fashion.
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that the White House staff is on drugs.
We were announcing our nominee for the Supreme Court, so-- You didn't wanna blow the moment.
You can speak candidly here, Josh.
Were you asked to investigate? ''lnvestigate'' is a word that gets us into trouble.
-You held interviews to determine.
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-As a first glance.
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if staffers used drugs, or if anyone knew of staffers using drugs.
-Claypool subpoenaed the paperwork.
-Under the Freedom of lnformation Act.
l've got your Claypool deposition.
l wanna talk about it for a moment.
Sure.
Josh and Sam.
They're up with Bruno's people, trying to avoid a hearing.
They won't be successful.
Josh and Sam are good, and Bruno's a reasonable guy.
There'll be a hearing.
lt'll take months, it'll be awful.
We'll hear stories about booze and pills and God knows what else.
The president has a budget to pass, Mendoza to confirm.
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and he's gotta get a Democratic Congress elected.
Leo.
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Simon, did you come to tell me l should resign? Yeah.
l offered the president my resignation.
He won't accept it.
He's blinded by friendship and he's being foolish.
Point that out.
Simon, l'm just taking a guess.
ls there an op-ed piece coming out l should know about? ln tomorrow's Post.
l wanted you to know since we're friends.
l have a copy.
l don't need it.
l know what it says.
For the good of the party and the president.
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a leading Democrat calls for my resignation.
Won't get much attention, and it won't distract from the president's agenda.
l haven't seen you on the Sunday morning talk shows in a while.
-l'm glad l could help out.
-l hoped this would go differently.
Where's your concern for country, party and president.
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when you're out whoring for Atlantic Oil? -l'm insulted by that.
-l didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
You should walk out now.
As a matter of fact, l think you should run.
Oh, God.
-For how long? -After the midterms.
-Almost a year.
-Yes.
You want us to wait for a year? -Yes, sir.
-Why? l don't want the debate.
Nobody does.
Nobody wants to support it, or to oppose it.
Nobody wants it before midterms.
lf we put it in a drawer, you guarantee-- -No hearings.
-The president won't do it.
Yes, he will.
Leo hasn't done anything wrong.
The hearings won't turn up anything.
-We aren't scared enough to hold back.
-Stop it.
Honest to God.
lt doesn't matter what the hearing turns up.
This one is drugs, so it's sexy.
This is Geraldo's dream come true.
So don't get up with me, okay? l am throwing you a rope.
Something you should remember when you're on Face the Nation.
You can't get anything done because Republicans are vindictive.
This is what happens.
Teens in the White House.
You screwed this up from the beginning.
You should've been there on McGarry, and run an internal investigation.
You come remarkably close to perjury in the Claypool deposition.
l'd like to hold hearings into the two of you being stupid.
But l don't have that kind of time.
Here's the phone.
l'm sure the president is waiting.
Excuse us.
Toby, your argument isn't with us.
We watch PBS.
We like PBS.
But we work for congressmen who have constituencies.
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that wonder why the government subsidizes television for rich people.
lt's not for rich people.
The public television audience is a fairly accurate reflection.
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of the social and economic makeup of the U.
S.
lower than 20,000 a year.
Blacks comprise 1 1 % of both public and commercial television audience.
high-school education or less.
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1 % better than the commercial TV audience.
What are we talking about? -Are they here? -Yes.
-Get Mandy.
-Where is she? ln the Oval Office having a comfortable talk with the president.
''Most young people move from kissing to intimate sexual behaviors.
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during their teens.
More than 50% engage in petting behavior.
'' -ls that what l think it is? -Yes, sir.
''By the age of 1 4, more than 25% have touched a girl's--'' l won't say that word.
-Not gonna say that.
-Okay.
Not gonna say that.
Excuse me, Mr.
President.
The Lydells are in the Mural Room.
-Does C.
J.
know? -She's waiting.
-Mr.
President? -Go.
Thank you, sir.
Would you like to share the report? -With you? -Yes, sir.
-No.
-May l ask why not, sir? Because l'd rather not be in therapy for the rest of my life.
Very well, sir.
l won't say that word.
Mr.
and Mrs.
Lydell? l'm C.
J.
Cregg, and you've already met Mandy.
Yes, how do you do? Sit.
Thank you for coming such a long way.
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so soon after this unspeakable tragedy.
Glad to be here.
That's why we've asked to talk to you.
lt was Mandy's impression.
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that you and your husband have some reservations.
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about appearing in support of the president.
l hate to have to put it so bluntly, but is that true? We strongly support the Hate Crimes Law he's signing.
-Mr.
Lydell? -Yes.
l'm sorry, l was asking.
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Mr.
Lydell, l don't know how else to put this.
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but if you appear in front of the press.
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to be at all embarrassed by your son's homosexuality.
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l guess, let me just ask: Do you support the president? -Yes, we do.
-No, we do not.
No, that was really the last-- No, we do not.
The Hate Crimes Bill is fine.
Who gives a damn? l don't care.
We shouldn't make laws against what's in a person's head.
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but l don't give a damn.
lt's fine.
l don't understand how this president, who l voted for.
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l don't understand how he can take such a weak position on gay rights.
Gays in the military, same-sex marriage, gay adoption.
Where the hell is he? l want to know what quality of parenting.
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the president feels my son lacked.
This president has served not one day in uniform.
l had two tours in Vietnam.
What quality necessary to being a soldier does he feel my son lacked? Lady, l'm not embarrassed that my son was gay.
My government is.
Will you excuse us a moment? Mandy.
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-Send them home.
-They'll be fine.
You heard the man.
When it's over, the press will surround them.
-So he says what he says.
-What? He made a reasonable point.
He has a right.
-To talk to reporters on our dime? -Yeah, maybe.
Yeah.
-You're the press secretary.
-They said they support the bill.
Get it together.
Yeah, all right.
l know.
l know.
-We have to send them home.
-l know.
-l'll go let them know.
-No, no.
l'll do it.
l got news for you.
PBS claims that most households are weekly viewers.
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come from the Nielsen index based on diaries.
They show higher PBS viewing than those gathered by the automated boxes.
Why? People wanna seem more sophisticated than they are.
-That's right.
-There's one other thing.
Product licensing for Big Bird and Fuzzy Bear toys-- -Fozzie Bear.
-Whatever.
lt's Fozzie Bear, not Fuzzy Bear.
Licensing for this merchandise brings in over $20 million a year.
All of it goes to the show's producer, the Children's Television Workshop.
This is a company whose CEO earns high six figures per year.
Yet Sesame Street is subsidized by taxpayer dollars.
-That's a reasonable complaint.
-And? l don't care.
We're gonna see to all those things.
But when the public is concerned about sex and violence on TV.
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we're gonna protect The Muppets.
We're gonna protect Wall Street Week.
We'll protect Live from Lincoln Center and we'll protect Julia Child.
-Toby-- -Hang on.
You wanted to see me? -Good news.
-What? Josh and Sam cut a deal.
No hearing.
Leo's out of the woods.
Toby, that's great.
l gotta get back in there, this is too much fun.
A town in Alabama wants to pass a law.
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saying if l don't honor my father, l go to jail.
How do they know if you're honoring him? They've overlooked that problem.
-She's here.
-Send her in.
-Karen Larsen? -Yes.
-l'm Sam Seaborn.
-l know.
The advance man you ratted out works for the vice president now.
-Screwed yourself.
-l didn't-- Trying to win one for the vice president? l wasn't.
l've got Ginger, a guy from political liaison and two reporters.
Trying to protect your boss? People say you're acting funny.
Like you're guilty.
They think you leaked the advance man story.
l think something else.
l had nothing to do with-- l don't care about the golf or the helicopter.
l don't care about the advance man.
Look at me.
Did you give Leo McGarry's personnel file to Lillienfield and Claypool? -Oh.
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.
-What? -Mr.
Claypool is a family friend-- -Cathy! Take her to her office and stand there while she cleans out her desk.
Security's gonna throw you out of the building in 1 5 minutes.
You're not gonna believe this, but l'd like a banana.
-l'm afraid not, sir, no.
-Why not? -l offered one, and you were snippy.
-l wasn't snippy.
l'm afraid you were, Mr.
President.
C.
J.
's waiting.
Thank you, Mrs.
Landingham.
She withholds food from me.
l hate to harp on this, but-- -The sex ed report.
-Yes.
-We'll leave it alone for a while.
-When you say-- After midterms.
A year from now.
We're sticking it in a drawer? lt's pretty incendiary.
You don't think we have an obligation-- lt won't play well at a PTA meeting.
lt says we should teach kids to have sex.
Excuse me, but it does not.
Yes, but that's how it's gonna play.
Withholding knowledge about sex doesn't keep teens from having sex.
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it keeps them from doing it safely.
Teaching safe sex doesn't up the rate of sex, it ups the rate of safe sex.
We wanted this report.
They're doctors.
We asked a question.
We hide it because we don't like the answer? At the moment, Congress will only give funding to sex education programs.
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that teach abstinence-- We have a huge pulpit-- We'll avail ourselves of that pulpit after the midterm elections.
l think l understand.
-l needed to get Leo off the hook.
-lt's the deal Josh and Sam made.
Yes.
We'll deal with it after the midterm elections.
-l understand.
-l was hoping you would.
Yes, sir.
Some of the press already know the report came back-- Yeah.
lt's okay to tell them we got it.
Don't make a big deal.
We got it, we're looking at it.
Throw it out with the trash.
-Yes, sir.
-Thanks, C.
J.
Thank you, sir.
Mr.
President? We can all be better teachers.
l know.
C.
J.
? What are you doing? What're you doing? l was.
.
.
.
-Nothing.
-Okay.
Danny? lf you call the Lydells and ask-- -Don't leak me a story.
-l wasn't.
l've seen that look before.
You got a story in the trash that you want out, someone said no.
-They're all stories.
-That happens.
-You never took a free lead--? -l always took a lead.
Not from you.
Why? ln 20 minutes, you'll remember you're a professional.
.
.
.
.
.
and you're not gonna like me anymore.
You think l like you now? As long as you keep grabbing me and kissing me, what the hell do l care? Good point.
-lf there's a story, l'll find it.
-No, you won't.
How do you know? -Because we've gotten good at this.
-Yes, you have.
Yes, we have.
-Leo? -Yeah.
-Karen Larsen is here.
-Thanks.
-l'm Leo McGarry.
-Yes, sir.
l wanted to meet you and l wanted you to meet me.
Yes, sir.
Would you like to put that down and talk? lf you don't, l understand.
When you read in my file that l'd been treated for substance abuse.
.
.
.
.
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what went through your mind? Karen, it's okay.
The worst thing l can do is fire you, and l've already done that.
My father drank.
So did mine.
ln fact, he died from it.
He came home one night, very drunk.
My mother was yelling at him.
l heard the yelling from my bedroom.
She came upstairs, and he went out to the garage and shot himself.
ls that why you drank and took drugs? l drank and took drugs because l'm a drug addict and an alcoholic.
How long did it take you to get cured? l'm not cured.
You don't get cured.
l haven't had a drink or a pill in six and a half years.
Which isn't to say l won't have one tomorrow.
-What would happen if you did? -l don't know.
Probably a nightmare like both our fathers experienced.
And me too.
So after six and a half years, you're not allowed to have a drink? The problem is, l don't want a drink.
l want 1 0 drinks.
Are things that bad? -No.
-Then why? Because l'm an alcoholic.
-l don't understand.
-l know.
lt's okay.
Hardly anyone does.
lt's very hard to understand.
You're not like what l thought you would be like.
You haven't answered my question yet.
When you saw l'd been through treatment.
.
.
.
.
.
what went through your mind? My father used to.
.
.
.
You have all these important decisions to make in your job.
Every day.
All the time.
Decisions l can't even.
.
.
.
ln people's lives.
Karen, what you did caused a lot of problems.
For me, for the president, for a lot of people we don't even know.
But l'm not sure it wasn't a little bit brave.
-Did you like working here? -Yes, sir.
Then why don't you go unpack your carton.
.
.
.
.
.
and you and l will give each other a second chance.
Okay.
Okay.
--a section of the report.
A few quick things.
Chad Margrudian resigned from the vice president's office.
The appointees to the Corporation for Public Broadcasting should be confirmed next week.
The Lydells won 't be able to be at the bill-signing this evening.
Family business required them to go back to St.
Paul.
SDl Media Group (ENGLlSH)