Thirtysomething (1987) s01e13 Episode Script

1 I want you It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood Please.
I'll be your best friend.
Okay.
Ready for blastoff.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Blastoff.
It's a neighborly day in this beauty wood Ethan.
Hi, sweetheart.
Eat your breakfast.
Get Get Get-get-get-get-get You're supposed to be finished by now.
- Eat your breakfast.
- Come on, honey.
Why didn't you put those Legos away? - I want some juice.
- What do you say? - Please.
- Okay.
Want some juice, too? - Can I have some milk? - Yeah, just a second.
- Okay, what am I? - History.
That's right.
Bye, sweetie.
Bye.
- I'm out of here.
- Okay.
Bye.
See you.
He finds a guru at the top of the mountain on this little blankie, and he says, "O great guru", tell me what is the meaning of life," and the great guru says, "Life, my son, is a fountain.
" And the guy says, "Wait a second.
"I came all this way, and all you have to tell me is life is a fountain?" And the great guru says, "You mean it isn't?" That's a good one.
Hey, I know one.
I've got one, I've got one.
There is this guy, and he goes to the bar with his dog, and he says to the bartender, "This is the smartest dog in the world.
He can talk.
" And the bartender said, "Well, if he's so smart, then I'll give you a drink.
" So the guy says, "You're on.
" So the bartender goes up to the dog, and he says, "Who was the greatest football pl ".
Wait.
That's not it.
That's not it.
"Who was the greatest baseball player that ever lived?" And the dog says "Ruth, Ruth.
" - Oh, Nancy - No, no, no.
No, I mean "Ruff ruff.
" You know, he was barking.
- Oh.
- Oh, that was it.
Oh, God.
I don't think anybody can tell a joke worse than Hope.
Oh, thank you very much.
I can't help it.
It's against their religion.
You guys try it.
You tell a joke.
- Funny.
- I don't know any jokes.
And so we consider it to be just something to watch, and it also sometimes makes us wonder if perhaps there's something going on somewhere else Say, something at home with the family that's putting some unusual stress on the child and causing withdrawn behavior.
So we always like to mention it to the parents, so that's why we wanted to talk to you.
I don't think Do you, Elliot? That there's anything special.
Uh Thanks for calling us.
We'll try Uh, thanks.
I'll see you tonight.
I I thought you were going back to work.
No.
Why not? I can't deal with it.
Deal with what? Michael? Just, uh Just it.
Everything.
What? Elliot, what? I need to get some of my stuff.
What are you saying? Just Just for a few days.
I just I need some time to think.
About what? What are you saying? It's I'm sorry.
I'm confused.
It's just Just I just It's probably nothing, you know? It's just Are you saying that you want to move out? I want some time.
J I'm confused.
You I I thought I mean, we have both been trying.
I I thought that that you were feeling better about us.
I mean, things have been better, haven't they, Elliot? - Haven't they? - No.
No.
Uh, well, look, we'll We'll call Nicholson, and I'm sure he can see us tonight.
And I'll get a babysitter I have I have to get out.
I have to get out.
Just Just for a while.
Nance, have you seen that pinkish tie anywhere? Uh, there's some stuff in the dryer.
Did you need socks? No.
That's okay.
Uh, the man's coming tomorrow about the heater.
What should I tell him? That thing has a five-year warranty.
Just tell him to fix it, or you can call me at the office.
He should have been here three days ago anyway.
Do you think he'll bill us? I mean, I don't think that there's enough in our checking account.
He'll have to bill us.
Are you finished with this yet? Uh, no, not quite.
I mean, you can have it.
- No, no, it's all right.
- No, no, really.
I've got other things that I can read.
Nancy, look, I want you to have this.
You can bring it back any time.
- Please, just take it.
- Would you take it, please? - Nancy - Just take it.
No.
This is my lunch.
Go get your own.
I'm not like Michael.
He's your club sandwich type.
He's cooked.
He's civilized.
He's all Levi Strauss.
He's the substance of the earth.
It's got salami, provolone, mortadella, redolent of the Mediterranean seas.
Did he mention garlic and onions polluting my office for the rest of the day? Breathalyse, Mikey, breathalyse.
Janine, order me a club sandwich, please.
Give me some of this.
So what? They tell you Ethan has a bad attitude? He's passing dirty notes in study hall, or what? Elliot? Elliot? You okay? Can you put me up for a few days? - Elliot - I had to get out, Mike.
It's like I was being poisoned.
I thought things were getting better.
You were getting help.
I thought I thought so, too.
I did.
No, Nancy thought so.
I I've been trying.
I mean, I really tried.
It just Maybe this is like Like the final explosion you know what I mean? Th-That final discharge of negative energy.
If I can just deal with this, then maybe it'll be okay.
- Hello.
- Doggie.
Hope? Doggie.
Grendel jumps up on the high chair.
She looks right at him and says "Doggie.
" I swear to you.
Absolutely clearly, "Doggie.
" That's incredible.
Well, according to the book, she's four months early.
I think she's really brilliant.
Well, cross breeding produces improved stock.
Are you working? Uh, no.
It's okay.
I can tell when you're working.
I'm sorry.
What? Bye.
Hope It's okay.
Okay, I'll call you later.
Will you give Janey a kiss for me? Mm-hmm.
I love you.
- Sorry.
- No problem.
Oh, Elliot.
This is another fine mess I've gotten me into.
Is there, like, somebody else? No, of course not.
Well, there was.
That was different.
That was nothing.
- Poor Nancy.
- Yeah, well, at least she gets to play the innocent victim.
So can I stay with you guys or what? I don't want to go to my mom's.
She'd enjoy it too much.
No, you stay with us, you stay with us.
Are you going to tell her? I mean are you telling people? What are you doing? I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't.
I mean, I may miss Britty's kisses too much to stay away.
Oh, my God.
My kids.
It's wonderful.
It's bigger than I remember.
Aunt Libby always said I could have it.
And now you do.
- Careful.
- Oh, guys, I'll get the door.
Watch the hand, watch the hand.
- Thanks a lot, guys.
- Yeah, no problem.
I don't know where I'm going to put that.
Do we need anything besides diapers and wipes? - Apple juice.
- Oh, yeah.
Hi, Nance.
Hi, pretty Britty.
Hi, Hope.
Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry.
You're going out.
No, no, no.
Come on in.
I'm just doing odious errands.
- Amy's here till 5.
- Hi.
Why don't you play with Janey, Brittany? Good morning.
And don't trip on Gibraltar.
Can you believe this? - Say hi, Janey.
- Hi.
My great-aunt left it to me when I was 12, and I thought it was beautiful.
What I don't understand is how come it's so much bigger now? I mean, things are supposed to get smaller.
They're not supposed to look bigger.
Nance, what is it? What's wrong? Um Ethan's in school, and I didn't want Brit I mean, I don't want her to I mean, I figured some That somebody would be here, you know? You or Amy or or somebody.
And, uh I'm I'm sorry.
I just didn't know where else to go, and I didn't think that you would mind if I Nance, what is it? What is wrong? Elliot's moving out.
W-Well, not I mean, he he already has, and all I can think about is is the house.
I mean, how are we going to make the payments? And, uh, I mean, where's he going to live? We can't afford this.
Mommy.
Just a minute, honey.
Because if I think about the rest of it, I'll disintegrate, and if I disintegrate, who's going to take care of Brittany and Ethan? I have to pick him up in 35 minutes and take him to library class, and I Oh, Nancy.
You know, I can't even be mad at him yet.
I mean, isn't that funny? I Mommy.
Hi, sweetie.
Come on.
Come here.
Hey, champ.
It's okay.
I wanted to give you a hug.
I know.
I saw you.
Can you give me a hug? Give me a big hug.
Oh, I love you, sweetie.
So I told your mom to rest until she felt better and that I'd pick you up.
How was school today? Hey, wait up.
Did you play with your friends? No.
Do you have a best friend? No.
Do you want to go to library class? Mm-mm.
Want to get some ice cream? You know, when I was your age, all I ever wanted was a horse.
I drove my mom crazy.
Do kids today still want horses, or is it just dirt bikes or flamethrowers or something like that? My mom's sick because of Daddy.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi, honey.
Come here.
Ooh.
Hi, Hope.
Mom, Hope bought me ice cream.
Well, I thought she did.
You go up and wash your hands.
Tell Brittany that we're going to have dinner pretty soon.
- Okay? - Brittany.
- You doing okay? - Oh, I'm fine.
I just had to let go for a minute, but I am fine.
It's all probably nothing.
I feel so bad.
Oh, no, you don't have to, really.
We will figure it out.
Don't get caught up in our aggravations, please.
Look, Amy's got a class at 5:15.
Why don't you come over, bring the kids, and have dinner? Thanks, really, but I'm okay.
I just want to be with my kids in my own house, you know? I'm just worried, you know, about you.
I want to help.
Let me bring something Hope, I'm okay, really.
I'm not an invalid here, you know.
You're not going to have to come back and have my stomach pumped or bandage my wrists or anything, I promise.
Well, will you call me if you need anything or if you just start to feel sad or anything? - Promise? - Solemnly.
Now go home.
- Talk to you later.
- Okay.
See you later.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Probably in the cities.
Forget about it.
- Hi, sweetie.
- Hi.
Oh, look who's home.
Look who's home.
- Hi, baby girl.
- There she is.
What's on your face? Hi, Mikey.
Hi.
- Elliot, I'm sorry.
- Me, too.
- Oops.
- I got your beer.
- That's okay.
I got it.
- Sorry.
No, that's no problem.
Uh, how are you? Are you okay? You know, I'm, you know, kind of numb.
Where's Amy? We got home early, so we told her she could go.
Oh.
I, uh, just left your house.
They okay? They're, um, they're doing great.
How are you? Uh, you know, I I wish this wasn't happening.
So he needs a place to stay for a couple of days.
Uh, you'll stay here.
I I hope that the sheets are clean.
Did we clean them after my mother was here? Oh, don't bother.
I don't want to be in the way or anything.
Don't be silly.
You're welcome here.
Are you sure? Positive.
Oh, great.
Thanks, Hope.
So So tell me, how are my kids? Uh, they seem fine.
Boy, this is weird, me asking you how my kids are.
I, uh, took Ethan for ice cream Banana bubble gum.
Why didn't you take me? Your father didn't walk out on you until you were 19.
What the hell was that? Oh, God, Michael.
I don't know.
It just came out.
I'm sorry.
It's just like like Like what? I can't think of analogies now.
- I'm too upset.
- You're upset? I know.
Nancy's upset.
Elliot's upset.
Everybody's upset.
- What is this? - Aunt Libby's hope chest.
- She really did hate you.
- She did not.
She loved me.
You know, oh, it's just that Elliot is suffering, and I just Oh, I'm sure Elliot's suffering.
His gratification isn't instant enough.
See? Here comes the tone.
What tone? What are you talking about? You know, the Presbyterian, thin-lipped, holier-than-thou tone you get when you're sitting in judgment, you know.
It Why are we fighting, honey? Why Why don't we just discuss this? Because you don't like my tone.
Ohh Look, this is totally weird for me, too.
You know, with my parents and Hope, he's one of my best friends.
He's suffering.
I I know Nancy is.
I know the kids are, too.
I I j How can you possibly know what's going on inside of him? I just I just don't want you to condemn him so quickly.
Please? Please? Are they going to get divorced? You know I've always wanted someplace to hide a corpse? Michael, are they going to get divorced? Honey, he packed enough for three days, okay? I don't know what he wants.
He doesn't know what he wants.
I mean, why didn't you warn me or something? I invited Nancy and the kids over for dinner I tried to call you from the office.
The number was busy, and then you weren't home.
What do you want? I want for everybody to be happy all the time and for nobody I know to ever get divorced.
If he brings any women here Hope.
Hi.
Hey, I'm I'm sorry.
You know, I was thinking.
You guys, look, I don't want to be a bother or anything, so why don't I go buy us a couple Maybe two or three pizzas? What do you think? Mushrooms and anchovies? Is that that okay? Aah! Oh, my God.
Is it carnivorous? "So Ida tumbled right side 'round and found herself smack in the middle of a " I know.
Look at that.
"Oh, how those goblins hollered and kicked.
Just ".
"The goblin said, "'We're dancing sick and must to bed'.
"But Ida played a frenzied jig, "a hornpipe that makes sailors bow beneath the ocean moon.
" Mommy, I like your Want to wear my wedding ring? Okay.
Are you done? - It's yours.
- Thanks.
So does this make you single again? Oh, I think there's, like, an incubation period before the first symptoms set in.
Melissa and Ellyn are single.
They hate it.
Gary's single.
How can I be single? I mean, I've been married for 12 years.
Single people go out on dates.
Not according to Ellyn.
Huh.
How would you go about asking somebody for a date these days? I wouldn't have a clue.
I can't even think about that yet.
You try to grow up and to put your life together coherently, and you blink, and it's gone.
You don't know what happened.
Mm-hmm.
Pretty bizarre.
This is all getting too Swedish for me.
Oh, I'm going up.
Good night.
- Bye.
- Mm.
I'll be up in a minute, honey.
Thanks, Hope.
Ahh.
Mmm.
- So you tired? - Hmm? Mm-mm.
I'm just, uh, a little freaked out.
I got to get out.
I've been sitting in one place for, like, half an hour.
Want to go get a beer? Jawohl, Herr Capitan.
Hope.
Hope.
Everything okay? Yeah.
She's just restless.
We're going to go out for a little while.
Now? Where to? Yeah, we're just going to get a beer or something.
Have fun.
No, I don't.
I mean, you guys got to remember my idea of a date is printing Earth Day flyers on a cup of coffee at the student union.
Glass of cappuccino.
Principle's still the same.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He moves out for two weeks.
He's He's nailing half the female population in Chestnut Hill.
Hey, will you stop it? Oh, what, you're not thinking about other women? No, I'm not thinking about other women, - not this minute.
- Excuse me.
Three minutes ago, eight minutes ago, - 11 minutes ago.
- Hey, what's your problem, Mike? Since when do you know what I'm thinking about? Given who you are, Elliot, given who any of us are, I find it a little hard to believe that you move out after 12 years of marriage and you're not thinking about other women.
You make me so mad sometimes.
I mean it.
It's none of your business if I'm thinking about other women.
I mean, the point is, I mean, you move out after I might be thinking about other things besides other women.
All right? Did you talk to them today? No.
Other men? You guys are jerks.
You are.
You're complete pig-faced jerks.
- Is she cute? - There's nobody.
You got to see this guy.
He's out of control.
He's flirting with store mannequins.
I mean, he's wild.
If you're talking about flirting, - that's something different.
- Come on.
Who is she? She's a dancer ballet.
She teaches at Penn.
A dancer? Oh, I love dancers.
She's got the most unbelievable body.
Her rear end, it just kind of like Like reaches out for you.
When did you meet this woman? Who's met her? I'm still trying to meet her.
I mean, I don't have the guts to meet her.
I, like, you know, I said three words to her.
I don't even think she heard me.
You just got to take a class with her.
She's got the most unbelievable arches.
- Arches? - Arches.
Whoa.
This is a little weird.
I'm, like, totally freaked out here.
You've been leaving the office looking for women? Go ahead, Mike.
No, really.
Why don't you move out, too? We'd have a lot of fun.
We'd never work.
We'd just look for women.
Because I don't want to move out.
What about her arches? Mm.
New Jersey destroyed Portland by 9.
It's all right.
And yes, yes, Chicago Bulls destroyed Boston by 19.
- 19? - Yeah.
Wow.
Jordan, 39 big ones.
Yeah, well, 39's good, but I still think he's overrated.
He can run and jump and shoot, but can he play defense? Can he play defense? Elliot, Michael Jordon is probably the finest defensive guard in the NBA right now.
Sorry, Hope.
Did Dallas make that trade? No.
I think they're holding out for an earlier draft date.
They didn't listen to me last year, either.
That's true.
They rue the day.
- Am I in your way? - Elliot, please sit down.
No, that's okay.
I never sit down when I eat breakfast.
Go ahead.
Do you have any doughnuts? - Have an English muffin.
- Oh, good.
I think you're supposed to toast it.
These things aren't very sweet, are they? Okay.
Cows in sunglasses won't work.
What you really don't like puppies on beach towels, do you? - It stinks.
- No, no, Elliot.
Your go-to little sun ponton That stinks.
My puppies in beach towels is just moderately bad.
Look, we're getting nowhere.
Let's eat.
- It's 10:15.
- So? I'm starving.
There were no doughnuts.
Doesn't your wife ever shop? We're two days late already.
Can you concentrate on something other than food? Come on.
You're almost as sympathetic as Hope.
- Is it contagious? - Sorry.
Look, I know I shouldn't be staying at your house.
Don't be ridiculous.
You can stay at my house.
No.
I know Hope is really upset, isn't she? She's worried about you guys.
She's She's probably worried I might want to join you.
What, are you kidding me? You've been happily married since the second you saw her.
- You think so? - Oh, yeah.
Come on.
Let's work.
Let's work.
Let's work.
Okay, here we go.
- Animals with a gimmick.
- Good.
Frogs, dogs, uh - Mice.
- Mice? Wait, do mice Do they mate for life? Okay, I'm not here.
No, please, Mike, I'm not here.
I'm not here.
Hello.
Hi, Nancy.
No, he's, uh I think he went to the bathroom.
You need me to tell him something? The The water heater valve is Okay, and then the guy He, uh, he won't leave a bill.
He insists on having a check.
Nancy, I don't know if he went to the bank.
Uh, wait a minute.
I think I see him coming back.
Elliot.
Elliot.
Hi.
What's up? Okay, okay.
I'll go to the bank and dep Nancy, if I say I'll do it, I'll do it.
It's not gonna bounce.
Whoo.
Worthy on the post against Barkley.
Okay, okay.
So you're sure? You're sure it's all right? Go ahead and do it.
It's fine with me.
I never meant I didn't want to have dinner with you.
I just thought you wanted Elliot and I to go out.
Isn't he getting on your nerves? No, he's not getting on my nerves.
Go if you want to go.
I know you'd rather be with him than be with me.
Oh, Hope, that's ridiculous.
Did he talk to her? Yeah, something about the water heater.
He's not going back.
Just give him a chance, okay? Really, he's trying.
Walking out is trying? Honey, would you move the chest before you go, please? Elliot, will you give me a hand upstairs? Coming, Dad.
- Whoa, whoa! - Oh! Sorry.
I just wanted to get these out of your way.
I'm sorry.
Here.
I'll get it.
Here you go.
- I'm sorry, Hope.
Here, I'll get it.
- No, no, no, I'll get it.
Please, Elliot, let me get it.
I expect you'll be pleased to hear that my mother leaves for Florida on Thursday, so I'll be able to stay at her house without having to discuss ad nauseum the apparent failure of my marriage.
Come here, sweetie.
I forgot how small you are.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Here you go, sweetie.
Put you back in here, okay? You ready? Down, down, down we go.
How could she know? He never even told her he was thinking of leaving.
- He just walked out.
- She's not dumb.
She could have seen it coming.
You can't be blaming her for this.
Oh, Hope, come on.
I'm just saying Look, I don't know these people.
I shouldn't say anything.
What is this? My Aunt Libby's hope chest, and I hope it experiences spontaneous combustion.
- Oh, no.
It's great.
- Really? Oh, yeah.
It's the kind of thing No one could ever buy this.
It could only be inherited.
It feels like family and home.
- You want it? - God, no.
It's not a value judgment.
It's just that Nancy got married early.
She hasn't had much of a career, - and she's not exactly her own person.
- Who is? - You guys want some tea? - Sure.
None for me, thanks.
How you feeling? I'm doing okay.
Here are the prints.
I'm sorry they took so long.
Oh, they're great, Melissa.
I love 'em.
Oh, rocky road and chocolate chip cookies.
Hope, you always did know how to cure a broken heart.
I should know.
Where are those infamous brats, anyway? Ethan.
Brittany.
Auntie Melissa's here to corrupt you.
Did you tell them anything? I just told them that their daddy had gone away for a few days.
Is this Elliot's private reserve of chocolate syrup? Surprised he didn't take it with him.
Did he have a tantrum in your kitchen this morning? The tantrum was about the lack of doughnuts.
Well, at least I got him off of Twinkies for breakfast and Ring Dings for lunch.
Is he trashing your place? He's not exactly housebroken, is he? No.
Once I saw him put sugar in Kool-Aid.
- No.
- Yeah.
At least you don't have to deal with that anymore.
- Oh, man.
- Hi, Mom.
Melissa says if we get ready for bed now with no fuss, she'll tell us a story about when Wonder Woman ate Megatron.
Oh, that's such a deal.
Good night, Megatron.
- Good night.
Here we go.
- Good night, sweetie.
- I love you, Wonder Woman.
- Good night, guys.
- Love you.
- Thanks, Melissa.
That's all right.
Has he said anything? No.
Not really.
He mostly seems confused.
He has to decide what he wants.
Why would he want to leave here? He has so much going.
So much going? There's nothing going on here for Elliot.
He doesn't want to be here.
He wants to be cool.
He thinks cool is out there waiting for him someplace.
He thinks that I hold him back.
- Nancy.
- And I do, really.
I just can't deal with that, you know.
I get so intimidated.
All those people with their downtown lofts and the gallery stuff.
Those openings where people are showing their really mediocre stuff and getting paid thousands of dollars for it.
What does that have to do with I'm just not enough for him.
I don't take care of him well enough.
I'm not sexy enough.
I'm not cool enough.
See, I was a painter when he met me.
And he could relate to that.
That was image.
Painter.
Cool.
And then I couldn't paint, you know.
And then what? Nance, you have so much to offer.
I can't believe you're saying this.
You're such a substantial person.
You're such a wonderful mother.
Oh, God.
The great condescending line.
Oh, but you're such a wonderful mother.
Hope, how can I be such a wonderful mother if I don't feel like a wonderful person? How can I give my kids anything - if I feel like a complete, empty - Don't say that.
It's true.
I am the person sitting here.
Don't tell me what it feels like to be - Stop it.
Don't do this.
- Stop what? Stop feeling terrible? Stop feeling that my life is a complete wreck, when it is a complete wreck? Don't tell me to stop it.
I have been stopping it my whole life, and that's how I got here, is by stopping it.
And I can't figure out how not to stop it.
And it's killing me, and it killed my marriage, maybe.
Just don't tell me to stop it.
See, there are there are some things that I know even now.
This is really weird, but there is this small part of me that's happy because there's no place left to hide.
The Franklin Institute's always good for the training.
- Yeah? - Yeah, their snack shop has better red Jell-O than the art museum.
How are their hot dogs? Grilled, or what - Steamed.
- Steamed.
Yeah.
- I vaporized you.
- Aah! I vaporized you.
Megatron, quick! Back to the Fortress of Doom! It's Voltron! Josh's dad never comes home.
Are you coming home? - Can you watch her? - Sure.
Ethan, I sure hope so.
Mommy and I, we aren't quite sure what's best for everybody right now.
Come here.
No, no, no.
Come here.
There you go.
Now what's going on? What, do you miss me? Josh's dad takes him to the shore every weekend.
That sounds great.
You want to do that sometime? Today? There's no time today.
How about next weekend? You, me, and Britty.
You won't be home before then? No, I don't think so, pal.
I don't think so.
I vaporize you.
Ha, ha, ha, ha! Okay, I'll run the last bag.
Great, great, great.
That was perfect.
This is great, guys.
Thanks a lot.
Five.
Two, three, four, five.
- Thanks.
I really appreciate it a lot.
- Thanks.
Yes, my girls.
I am so good.
I am unbelievable.
Bruce Sparkey never shows his face on that court again.
Your daddy's a little shorter than Doctor J, so if you're confused, that's how you tell the difference.
I'm gonna sell off my share of the business.
I'm gonna blacktop the yard right here.
I think there's room for a half-court.
And then we'll put up bleachers.
I'll give exhibitions.
You taking it for a walk, or what? Like, permanently.
Like, bye-bye, Aunt Libby.
Sure you want to do that? Don't confuse me.
Where's Elliot? He didn't play.
He took the kids to the park.
Good.
So do you hate Elliot, or what? Oh, Janey, no.
Give me that stick.
There.
You play with the block.
Good girl.
No, I don't hate Elliot.
You just find him totally reprehensible and without redeeming social value because he had the audacity to have his marriage fail.
I don't think his marriage failed.
I think he failed.
I think he had a perfectly flawed, regular, difficult marriage like everybody else, and he couldn't handle it.
And I just don't understand men.
Uh-oh.
It's not like he's the first one who's ever done it.
That's real nice.
Hope, my father is my father.
Elliot is Elliot.
I'm not either of them.
You're not gonna leave me for your tennis teacher? Sorry, I'm not gonna leave you at all.
You're just gonna have to find something else to worry about.
- You have fantasies.
- Who doesn't? I know.
Fast cars, fast girls.
It's like men are permanently 15.
I never go out with fast girls.
I bet you were really sexy when you were 15 and all frustrated.
You probably still want to be like that.
Fast cars, absolutely.
Always.
Girls? I don't know.
I always thought that you had to want girls.
Only wimps settled down.
First it's Gary.
Now it's Elliot.
Then Hope, Hope, Hope.
I don't think that anymore.
Okay, sometimes I think it, but I don't believe it anymore.
I mean, we have this life, and I imagine you loving it as much as I do.
Am I kidding myself? No.
You're not.
I am not gonna leave you.
Till your mid-life crisis begins.
Oh, we have plenty of time until then.
You'll get a facelift and your hair dyed, and we'll be fine.
A tummy tuck, maybe a thigh Hey, you're gonna get a T if you don't stop bitching to the rat.
Personality disintegration right on schedule.
Hey, I'll haul it away for 30 bucks.
I'll have you know that my Aunt Libby was in the garden club for 27 years, you know.
Yo.
Hey.
I'll buy it.
Don't despair.
I'll buy that chest.
Hi, Hope.
I'll sell it some year.
Promise.
Don't distress.
I'll buy that chest.
You're too late.
Hi, Ethan.
Hi, Britty.
- Are we disturbing anything? - Dad, I'm thirsty.
You are, are you? Hope will get you some juice.
She's a nice person.
- Come on, Ethan.
We got plenty of juice inside.
- We'll get some in here.
Actually, why don't you let Michael get you some juice? He's a nicer person.
Here.
Take your sister.
There's another side to the story, you know.
- Is there? - Are you interested, or should I walk outside and slit my throat so I don't mess up the rug? - I'm interested.
- Okay.
You and Nancy You guys are friends.
Nancy's great.
Everybody likes Nancy.
But there's more to a person.
There's stuff there that you don't know.
You see this one part of her that's specifically constructed for the world.
Then there's the part that I get to see.
And it's different.
It's different, Hope.
I don't get to see the good part.
That's for her friends and for the kids.
I don't get that part.
Nancy said things were getting better.
Yeah.
She's trying.
Sort of.
And I'm not trying.
And so I'm a bad person.
I mean, okay, I am.
I'm a bad person.
But I didn't used to be.
She's the one who broke the bargain.
Okay.
All right, look.
It's like You meet somebody, okay? And you portray yourself for that person.
You say, "This is who I am", "and this is who I'm gonna be for you.
" "It's what I'm gonna be for you.
" And whatever it is, if it's being handsome or pretty or sexy or whatever Everybody does that.
You know that.
And then you fall in love with the person, and then you have the bargain.
Because it's like, we're gonna keep being this for each other, because this is what we fell in love with.
And then one person changes that.
You meet somebody and they're really funny, and they're really free, and they're really outrageous, and it turns out that they're not like that at all.
They're really scared, and they're really angry, and they go around like this, carrying all this inside.
What are you supposed to do with her when you find out that she's not who you thought she was gonna be? Oh, I thought you were just talking about yourself.
That's how Nancy described what you used to be like.
I don't know who I am anymore.
Hope, I just know I'll go crazy if I stay anymore.
I mean, I don't know if I love her anymore.
And that's terrifying, that thought.
When you look at somebody who you used to love, who used to be your whole life, and you say, "I'm not feeling anything.
" I mean, what am I supposed to do with that? And the kids? You don't think I cry myself to sleep every night about those kids? But in that house right now, there's so much anger.
I mean, I just feel too old and too trapped, too betrayed by her.
You feel betrayed by her? Yes.
You haven't been listening to a word I've been saying.
Hello? - Oh, hi.
- Hi.
- Where is everybody? - In the kitchen.
- Mommy, he's tickling me.
- Are you tickling him? - Hi.
- Hi.
Um, can I talk to you for a minute, please? Sure.
We have some things to talk about.
Is this where my mother tells my father not to set foot in Illinois again? I'll get the girls.
Hey, Ethan.
Ethan.
You know what these are? Hey, you know what these are? These are Lincoln logs.
When I was a little boy, this was my favorite toy.
Come here.
Come here.
I used to build these forts, you know.
And I'd pretend that the Indians were attacking the settlers.
And they, like, massacred them.
You want to build a fort with me? - Okay.
- Yeah? Okay.
I've worked out a schedule for when you can take the kids.
And remember, Ethan has soccer practice next Saturday, starting at 4:00, so if you can drop him off, then I can pick him up.
- Fine.
- I assume that you will keep making deposits in our joint account.
I'll stay with the kids in the house.
I think they need the continuity.
And if we need to sell the house later, then we'll deal with that.
Please don't use the MasterCard, because I charged it up to pay for the heater.
- Shouldn't we talk about this? - About what? What? You're gone.
Let's just get on with it.
Nicholson gave me the name of a divorce mediator, Anna Troutman.
She's in Chestnut Hill.
We have an appointment with her at 4:15.
If you have a problem with that, just let me know.
Nance, Nance, what are we talking about? Divorce? What was your idea? You could just wander off and then come back - when it didn't feel good? - I never said that.
I never thought that.
You've never thought.
I just Honey, I just wasn't very happy.
Oh.
All this anger between us can't be good for the kids.
Don't you pull that.
You walked out because you wanted to.
Because it wasn't easy for you.
Don't you pretend for one minute that you are doing this for the sake of your kids.
You deserted them.
Now you keep that in mind.
That is Troutman's address.
I'll see you there.
Why can't we go in your car, Daddy? 'Cause I'm gonna stay here with Michael for a while.
I'll miss you.
Well, you know, I'm gonna miss you, too.
You two, you're my special ragamuffins.
You're my pal, right? You know You know I love you more than anything in the world, right? I love you, too.
Oh, I know you do, son.
Okay.
Okay, darling.
There's my little girl.
You all set here? Okay, you two be good for Mommy, okay? - Okay? - Okay.
Bye.
Okay.
I'll see you on Saturday, all right? Okay.
Will you bring me a present? Uh yeah, maybe.
If you're good.
Okay.
See you Thursday.
All right, be happy, okay? See you later.
Elliot's out there.