United States of Al (2021) s01e13 Episode Script

1 My love for you is fading.
Sorry, did I wake you? You woke dead people.
Is it the tinnitus? - Yeah, just keeps getting louder and louder.
- Hmm.
I have it, too.
Think of it as your ear reminding you how much fun it was to stand next to a cannon.
What do you do about yours? I pretend it's a soft wind rustling through the trees.
Does that work? Not even a little.
Try to get some sleep.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Maybe we can go to the pharmacy and get you a sleeping pill? Nah, no need.
Where are you going? My sister's purse is open 24-seven.
Ooh, would you see if she has any licorice? Next time, ask? I didn't want to wake you.
Is it the ear thing again? - Yeah.
- It's not gonna get any better.
You got to get it checked out.
It's tinnitus.
They can't fix it.
How do you know? Did you go to med school when I wasn't looking? Dad, you're not gonna win this one.
Yeah, I'm a Browns fan I'm used to not winning.
At least he could be getting a disability check from the V.
A.
Hey, don't talk about me like I'm not right here.
Oh, sorry, I assumed you couldn't hear me.
You can get money for tinnitus? I thought that was only if you lost an arm or a leg.
No, anything, uh, service related, you can get compensation and medical care.
- Oh, me, too? - No, not you.
Oh, why not? I did everything he did.
You really want me to explain why the system stinks? No, no, I'm familiar.
Oh, so Al doesn't qualify, but you get a check every month for your ankle? Because I injured it in Grenada.
Doing what, playing pickleball? In Grenada.
Point is, he's leaving money on the table.
I'm not going to the V.
A.
It's free money take it! As usual, your father is right.
- As are you.
- Also as usual.
Riley you and I are going to the V.
A.
Sorry, can't hear you! - He heard me.
- I know.
Yeah.
- Hey, Dad.
- There she is.
- You ready to do some camping? - You bet.
- I thought you were doing it in the backyard? - Yeah, we are.
Then what do you need the bucket toilet for? Indoor plumbing's for Girl Scouts.
Yeah.
Hey, help me get the rain gear.
No, if it rains, just go in the house.
Girl Scouts, Mom.
Girl Scouts.
You're staying in the backyard, right? - No nighttime hikes? - Hey, what are you worried about? Seriously? The first time you took me camping, you made us hunt for our dinner.
And did you go hungry? No.
But I needed that bucket.
Hey, where you guys been? We went around the block a few times with full packs.
I could have done more, but Dad looked tired.
Yeah.
Thanks for the break.
All right.
Survey the terrain.
Where's the optimal place to set up camp? - Well, higher ground - Dad, this is for Hazel.
Oh, right.
As you were.
Well, there are several points of entry from the house, so the most secure location is - my three o'clock.
- All right, Private, let's see you set up this tent.
Yes, Sergeant.
It's nice you found someone below you on the chain of command.
So what can I do for you, Al? Riley's tinnitus is back.
Ah, damn.
So I guess you're not sleeping.
No.
Mr.
Art said he could get money for disability, but he's being stubborn.
So I need your help to help me help him get help.
I said it right.
He'll never do it.
There, I just saved you weeks and months of wasted effort.
I imagine it was very difficult for you.
Oh, buddy.
You have no idea.
Riley's medical records.
Going all the way back to boot camp.
Along with supporting statements, his DD-214 and a few blog posts where I just needed to vent.
All this for tinnitus? No, I've got tabs for his chronic back pain, arthritis in the knees, migraines and how his pinky points left.
Ooh, that was my fault.
I slammed it in our Humvee door.
It's still service-related.
And he could be getting a check every month for the rest of his life.
Wow.
He could really use that.
Yeah, so could his family.
And that's not even the mental health stuff.
I have a whole other binder for what he calls "feelings crap.
" He has a little of the poet in him.
I spent so many hours on the phone with V.
A.
reps, I got invited to two office Christmas parties.
So what happened? Riley said he forgot his first appointment.
The second time he didn't even pretend to forget.
So the third time I said, "Go to the doctor or don't come back.
" Good for you.
He didn't come back.
He's been sleeping in his dad's garage ever since.
All right.
I will take it from here.
You have a plan? I'll either be very charming or very annoying.
I haven't decided yet.
Hey, hey! I was drawing that.
What, you don't know what an apple looks like? Whoa, sleeping pads.
Aren't we dainty little flowers? - These are standard issue.
- Uh-huh, my pad was the earth and I used a rock for a pillow.
Can I have a rock for a pillow? You really want your head to look like his head? Ha-ha.
Once in survival training, I had to eat a fistful of grasshoppers.
Ooh, let's do that.
I cannot believe I'm related to you guys.
Yeah, I'm sure your ability to draw fruit will come in handy when World War III breaks out.
Hey, you want to help us build a snare? Well, what do you expect to catch in the backyard? I don't know, maybe a squirrel.
Maybe the neighbor's cat.
Where'd you get that? At Vanessa's.
Well, give it to me.
That's personal.
Riley? At least tell me why you won't apply for disability.
'Cause I don't want that money.
I did what I signed up for and I came home.
But it's just sitting there.
No, man, that money isn't free.
Every time a check comes in, that's the world telling you you're a disabled vet.
It's humiliating.
You think it wasn't humiliating for me to apply for a visa and have to convince the CIA I wasn't a terrorist? And who kept telling me I had to keep going? I did, 'cause I didn't want you to get killed! This is different.
I'm fine.
- You keep telling yourself that.
- I'm as good as I ever was! You are putting your pride before your family.
You have never been better.
All right, we're done talking.
"Done"? Have you not met me? Do you know where my dad went? No, honey, I don't.
We're supposed to be camping.
He probably went to get bear repellent or something.
All right, dinner.
MREs.
Meals ready to eat.
IKT.
I know that.
Are those still good? Probably.
If not, we got the bucket.
Okay grunt, you want the spaghetti and meat sauce or the veggie and cheese omelet? That's a trap never go for the omelet.
Don't tell her that.
We only got one spaghetti.
Now this is the fun part.
You take the meal out.
You drop it in the heating bag.
And you add some water.
Seal it up, lean it against a rock or something, and let the chemicals do the magic.
Why don't we just build a fire? Or better yet, order a pizza.
We can't build a fire.
The smoke would give away our position to the enemy.
Smart.
That's why you were brass.
- Hey, any word? - No.
Al, do you know where my dad is? Uh, no, Hazel, I don't.
I'm sorry.
I'm sure he'll be back soon.
I'm not.
You want to wait? No, we can just save him the omelet.
I'll trade you my cheese spread and Skittles for your M&M's.
Nice try.
Please? Holly.
Lizzie Dugan.
- You're looking for Riley? - Is he there? Yeah, but you can have him back.
Oh, who's that? Is that, is that Lizzie? Tell her Tater's here.
Hey, I am not your secretary.
Tater's here.
Hey, Lizzie, I found the cure for tinnitus.
It's tequila.
Holly, make sure they don't leave.
I'm on my way.
He's at the VFW Bar.
Do you want me to come with you? No, you stay with Dad and Hazel.
Oh, don't let him tell stories about being on leave in Thailand.
They'll give her nightmares.
Go! Drink! That's three in a row! Oh, drink up! Dude, what the hell? Ah, sis, long time.
Come on, let's go home.
- Sorry, this is my baby boy.
- No, no, no.
- Oh, hey! - Can't give him back to you.
- Oh, shh, baby, shh.
- Tater Tater, put him down.
I'll make you a deal drink one shot with us, and you can take baby home.
One shot.
One shot.
- Don't be screwing with me.
- Never.
Oh, yeah! - All right, let's go home.
- Oh, wait.
- Now what? - Baby got to go potty.
You're even prettier than I remember.
How much prettier? Will you stay with me in the tent till Dad comes back? Aw, sweetie.
You know I got back problems.
Never mind.
I didn't say I wouldn't do it.
I just wanted you to appreciate how tough I am.
Hmm.
Hello? Al, I screwed up.
I got drinked into staying.
And then stupid Holly took my keys.
Pump up the jam Uh, my song is on I got to go dance.
Feet are stomping and the jam is pumping Everybody ready? Go.
Remember, if you puke, you're out.
Same as if you fall.
Tater, you're sweating already.
Hey, get that out of my face before I bite off a toe! Oh! Holly? Close out his tab, please.
Okay, time to go.
No, no, give us a minute.
Riley's about to eat it.
Al, sit on Tater's back.
- Al's here? - Hello, Tater.
Oh, hey, Al.
Riley, get up, we're going home.
Aw, but Holly's not out of booze yet.
Go home.
Hey, Riley? Your daughter is waiting for you to come home.
I'm very disappointed in you.
So am I.
Are you asleep? No, are you? How can I be asleep? I just asked you if you're asleep.
Something on your mind? Do you think my dad loves me? Are you kidding me? More than anything in the world.
Why would you say that? He promised to teach me camping and then he just left.
Ah, Hazelnut.
This isn't about your dad loving you.
He's going through some stuff.
I know.
His ears.
Not just that, but some other things, too.
You were a Marine.
How come you're ? No, normal's not the right word.
Every Marine has a different experience.
For me, it straightened me out.
Uh, it made me a man, taught me accountability.
It did those things for your dad too, but he went through some stuff I didn't.
Stuff that would affect even the toughest guys.
Will he be okay? Have you ever seen your father back down from a challenge? No.
Dugans never do.
Hazel, when you set up the tent, did you happen to notice a rusty, old Rain Bird sprinkler? No, why? I'm pretty sure it's sticking in my butt.
I lost track of time, okay? I don't like Hazel seeing me when I'm in that kind of mood, you know? Mm.
It's better for her if she just hangs out with her grandpa.
You don't get it, man.
All right, me going to the V.
A.
is just taking away help from a vet who actually needs it.
I'd just be one more body taking up space in an already broken system.
No different than someone wanting to park in a handicap spot just 'cause they want to be closer to the front door.
You giving up on me? I'm still here, aren't I? - Pull over, pull over! - What? Lizzie, in my new car? I'm so s - I feel better now.
- Mm.
Hey.
Hey? I'm sorry.
You're apologizing to the wrong person.
Now brush your teeth.
Get your ass in this sleeping bag so you're here when she wakes up.
Yes, sir.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Did you have a good time? - Hell yeah.
- Hazel.
- Sorry, hell yes.
- Got to hit the head.
- Okay, I love you.
Love you, too.
- Everything go okay? - Yeah.
Yeah, uh Actually no.
Um I need the binder.
Oh, I I gave it to Al.
No, the-the other one.
The "feelings crap" binder.
Oh.
Okay, um yeah, I have that.
Yeah, I'm gonna do the whole V.
A.
thing.
That's great.
Thanks.
I really am gonna go this time.
I I hope it helps.
Okay.
Something else.
I'm not messing around.
I really am gonna go do this.
And then I'm gonna get you back.
It's not why I'm doing it, but it is what's gonna happen.
- Riley, I can't - No, no.
You don't have to say anything.
You don't have to do anything, I'm just telling you how it's gonna go down.
It may take me a while, but I'm gonna get my act so together, you are gonna find me boring.
Sexy boring.
Is that it? Yeah.
Can you pick Hazel up from soccer tomorrow? Sure.
Is your pinky okay? What do you think?! I think it's probably okay.
You slammed it in the door! By accident.
I'm sure it's not broken.
Okay! Okay, maybe it's broken!