Animaniacs (1993) s01e133 Episode Script
Gold Rush / A Gift of Gold / Schnitzelbank / The Helpinki Formula / Les Boutons et Le Ballon
[.]
ALL: It's time for Animaniacs And we're zany to the max So just sit back and relax You'll laugh Till you collapse We're Animaniacs BOTH: Come join The Warner brothers And the Warner sister, Dot ALL: Just for fun we run around The Warner movie lot They lock us in the tower Whenever we get caught But we break loose And then vamoose And now you know the plot We're Animaniacs Dot is cute and Yakko yaks Wakko packs away the snacks While Bill Clinton Plays the sax We're Animaniacs Meet Pinky and the Brain Who want to rule The universe Goodfeathers flock together Slappy whacks 'em With her purse Buttons chases Mindy While Rita sings a verse The writers flipped We have no script Why bother to rehearse? We're Animaniacs We have pay-or-play Contracts We're zany to the max There's bologna In our slacks We're Animan-y Totally insane-y Here's the show's name-y Animaniacs Those are the facts NARRATOR: It's Mime Time.
Today on Mime Time: gathering imaginary flowers.
[.]
[BUZZING.]
[SCREAMS.]
The end.
[.]
[PIANO PLAYING MEDLEY.]
[WOMAN SINGING SCALE.]
[HIGH-PITCHED SINGING.]
Let's do it again, Günter.
This time in full voice.
[GULPS.]
Yes, Miss Bruntwind.
[SINGING HIGH-PITCHED NOTE.]
[CRASH.]
Weed Memlo, our first director.
That's just the way I remember him.
This stained-glass window is a fitting tribute to his hackery.
[SINGING CONTINUES.]
ALL: Hey, knock it off! [SINGING STOPS.]
Who said that? ALL: Over here.
Ew.
Say, you think you could keep it down a little bit? No! But you broke our window.
I don't care.
That went well.
Again, Günter.
[HIGH-PITCHED SINGING.]
[RUMBLING.]
Whoa.
Whoa, whoa! ALL: Cut it out! You pests again.
YAKKO: What're you doing? Torturing a clown? [GASPS.]
How dare you! Horrid children.
[GASPS.]
Couldn't you keep the noise down a little bit? Noise? You dare refer to the great Madame Bruntwind's voice as noise? Uh-huh.
I'll show you noise.
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
[SINGING HIGH-PITCHED NOTE.]
Of course, you know, this means Warners.
[ORCHESTRA TUNING.]
[FANFARE PLAYING.]
[CHEERING & APPLAUSE.]
[ORCHESTRA PLAYING BIZET'S "HABANERA".]
L'amour est un oiseau Rebelle Que nul ne peut apprivoiser Et c'est bien Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
S'il lui convient De refuser [BRUNTWIND VOMITS.]
ALL: Eww! L'amour est Enfant de Bohême Il n'a jamais Jamais connu de lois Si tu ne m'aime pas Je t'aime Si je t'aime Prend garde à toi ALL: Prends garde à toi Si tu ne m'aimes pas Je t'aime Mais si je t'aime ALL: Prends garde à toi [CRASH.]
[MUFFLED SHOUTING.]
Drum? Is someone stuck in a drum? This woman is stuck in a drum.
ALL: Aha! Don't worry, we'll have her out in no time.
The instrument, please.
Bigger.
Bigger! Perfect.
Wakko? [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING.]
[MUFFLED SHOUTING.]
[SPITTING.]
[AUDIENCE CHEERING.]
Beautiful hit by Wakko.
Could be a home run.
How do you do? [SCREAMING.]
I got her.
I got her.
I got her.
I got her! Safe.
[ALL CHEERING.]
Get your hot dogs! Ice cold hot dogs! [ORGAN PLAYS "CHARGE".]
Sing, you fool.
Sing! [SINGING NOTE.]
May I? Of course.
[SINGING NOTE.]
Darling, I love you With all my heart and soul Unfortunately You're too heavy to hold You and I Will live in splendid bliss Now, give me a big kiss Get out of my life! You shouldn't go breaking people's windows.
Ohh! Play! [ORCHESTRA RESUMES PLAYING.]
La, la, la, la Tra, la, la, la Tra, la, la, la Tra, la, la, la, la Oh! Tra, la, la, la La, la-- Whoa! Tra, la, la Ooh! Tra, la, la, la-- Oohh! [SINGING & YELLING.]
[SINGING & YELLING.]
[SCREAMING.]
[CHEERING & APPLAUSE.]
[CRASH.]
[CHEERING & APPLAUSE.]
You know, I think I could really get to like opera.
[.]
[.]
Like Abbott and Costello Like Sonny and Cher Like Martin and Lewis They're a perfect pair Like Laurel and Hardy Like Fontanne and Lunt They're perfectly mismatched They're Rita and Runt [.]
NARRATOR: 1939: in war-torn Europe, the army of the Third Reich invades Poland.
As Warsaw falls to the enemy forces, Polish freedom fighters fight back.
[.]
You know, Runt, we never should've taken that left turn at Pacoima.
This doesn't look like Burbank.
RUNT: Definitely not Burbank.
Just look into my eyes Tell me what you see This looks more like Van Nuys Than Burbank to me Just listen to the call Oh, and ain't it sweet? No matter how we fall We land on our feet Oh, you and I We're like a masquerader Who travels incognito With a friend No matter where you go You'll see me later I know we'll be together In the end Ah.
Rita! SOLDIER: Halt! Stop them! Desist! [MEN SHOUTING IN GERMAN.]
Soldiers! Let's scram! [.]
[RUNT GRUNTS.]
[BOTH PANTING.]
SOLDIER: Check the alley.
MAN: Where is he? He can't be far, Herr Commandant.
Search the area! The leader of the Polish underground must not escape the city.
Jawohl.
[.]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING.]
Shh.
They're looking for me, not you.
Katrina, darling, this is important.
If anything should happen, no matter-- No.
You know where the station is? Now, this is your ticket.
The train leaves at 5 p.
m.
Papa? Papa.
Papa! Do you believe this guy? Abandoning her just like that.
Of all the low-down, dirty-- [GASPS.]
[GROWLING.]
Was is it, Schnappsie? What do you hear? [BARKING.]
[SNIFFING.]
[GROWLS, BARKING.]
[GROWLING.]
[YOWLING.]
Deck him, deck him, definitely deck him, Rita.
[GROWLING.]
[HISSING, BARKING.]
How 'bout a little support, huh, Runt? You're a good dog, Rita.
You fight very nicely.
Definitely, definitely a good dog.
[YOWLING.]
[HISSING, BARKING.]
[WHIMPERING.]
[HISSING.]
[WHIMPERING.]
Oh, what a wonderful cat.
Thank you, thank you.
[WHISTLE BLOWING.]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING.]
Hey, wait for me! [WHISTLE BLOWS.]
Halt! You've done a good job, Schnappsie.
[GROWLING.]
Now we must follow them.
The child will lead us to the father.
Hurry, Papa's waiting at the train station.
We're going to a new home far away.
There'll be a big backyard and trees and flowers.
[SIGHS.]
And we'll all be so very happy.
Poor kid's living in a dream world.
Yeah.
Dream world.
So sad.
She really believes her dad's waiting.
Very sad.
That human's long gone.
Sad.
Don't leave it up to fate For the odds are slim Don't gamble with your life You can never win We'll see her To the train Then we'll leave Warsaw After the child Is reconciled With her papa Hurry or we'll be late! Wow.
Look at all the rocks, Rita.
Hundred and forty-seven.
Yeah, definitely, 147 rocks.
COMMANDANT: There they go, Schnappsie.
[CLOCK CHIMING.]
[IMITATING TRAIN CHUGGING.]
MAN [OVER PA.]
: Departing 4:05 on Track Number 9 with stops in Krakow, Gdansk, Hamburg, Berlin, Frankfurt, Alsace-Lorraine, Nancy, and Paris.
All aboard! I don't see Papa yet.
[TOOTING.]
[ENGINE CHUGGING.]
Papa! Papa! Papa! I hate this part.
Katrina! Papa? Katrina! Katrina, darling! Run, Katrina! This is good, definitely good.
You can do it, darling.
[WHISTLE BLOWS.]
COMMANDANT: After that girl! Uh-oh.
Stop her! He'll never leave without his daughter.
Grab her! [BARKING.]
That's right, darling, just grab my hand.
[.]
[SCHNAPPSIE BARKING.]
[GROWLING.]
[SCHNAPPSIE GROWLING.]
[YELPS.]
Oh, Daddy! [.]
Have a nice life, Rita.
Sic him, Schnappsie! [BOTH GROWLING.]
It was nice while it lasted.
[YOWLING.]
[BARKING.]
[HISSING, BARKING.]
[YELPS.]
[WHIMPERING.]
Gee, Rita, you were on your way to a nice new home with a big backyard and everything.
What happened? [TRAIN WHISTLE TOOTS.]
Well, there's always tomorrow.
You know I should have My head examined The fact is I could not go without you I'm fond of your slow wit And your bad hairdo We'll always be together Me and you [SIGHS.]
Gee, you're sweet, Rita.
Definitely sweet.
Definitely, definitely sweet.
[.]
[ORCHESTRA TUNING.]
ANNOUNCER: And now performing another classical work, the great Wakkorotti.
[APPLAUSE.]
[APPLAUSE STOPS.]
[PLAYING PONCHIELLI'S "DANCE OF THE HOURS".]
[BELCHING.]
[BELCHING.]
[CHEERING & APPLAUSE.]
Excuse me.
Oh, excuse me.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
NARRATOR: It's Mime Time.
Today on Mime Time: climbing an imaginary mountain.
The end.
[.]
It's over.
It's definitely over.
ALL: It's time for Animaniacs And we're zany to the max So just sit back and relax You'll laugh Till you collapse We're Animaniacs BOTH: Come join The Warner brothers And the Warner sister, Dot ALL: Just for fun we run around The Warner movie lot They lock us in the tower Whenever we get caught But we break loose And then vamoose And now you know the plot We're Animaniacs Dot is cute and Yakko yaks Wakko packs away the snacks While Bill Clinton Plays the sax We're Animaniacs Meet Pinky and the Brain Who want to rule The universe Goodfeathers flock together Slappy whacks 'em With her purse Buttons chases Mindy While Rita sings a verse The writers flipped We have no script Why bother to rehearse? We're Animaniacs We have pay-or-play Contracts We're zany to the max There's bologna In our slacks We're Animan-y Totally insane-y Here's the show's name-y Animaniacs Those are the facts NARRATOR: It's Mime Time.
Today on Mime Time: gathering imaginary flowers.
[.]
[BUZZING.]
[SCREAMS.]
The end.
[.]
[PIANO PLAYING MEDLEY.]
[WOMAN SINGING SCALE.]
[HIGH-PITCHED SINGING.]
Let's do it again, Günter.
This time in full voice.
[GULPS.]
Yes, Miss Bruntwind.
[SINGING HIGH-PITCHED NOTE.]
[CRASH.]
Weed Memlo, our first director.
That's just the way I remember him.
This stained-glass window is a fitting tribute to his hackery.
[SINGING CONTINUES.]
ALL: Hey, knock it off! [SINGING STOPS.]
Who said that? ALL: Over here.
Ew.
Say, you think you could keep it down a little bit? No! But you broke our window.
I don't care.
That went well.
Again, Günter.
[HIGH-PITCHED SINGING.]
[RUMBLING.]
Whoa.
Whoa, whoa! ALL: Cut it out! You pests again.
YAKKO: What're you doing? Torturing a clown? [GASPS.]
How dare you! Horrid children.
[GASPS.]
Couldn't you keep the noise down a little bit? Noise? You dare refer to the great Madame Bruntwind's voice as noise? Uh-huh.
I'll show you noise.
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
[SINGING HIGH-PITCHED NOTE.]
Of course, you know, this means Warners.
[ORCHESTRA TUNING.]
[FANFARE PLAYING.]
[CHEERING & APPLAUSE.]
[ORCHESTRA PLAYING BIZET'S "HABANERA".]
L'amour est un oiseau Rebelle Que nul ne peut apprivoiser Et c'est bien Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
S'il lui convient De refuser [BRUNTWIND VOMITS.]
ALL: Eww! L'amour est Enfant de Bohême Il n'a jamais Jamais connu de lois Si tu ne m'aime pas Je t'aime Si je t'aime Prend garde à toi ALL: Prends garde à toi Si tu ne m'aimes pas Je t'aime Mais si je t'aime ALL: Prends garde à toi [CRASH.]
[MUFFLED SHOUTING.]
Drum? Is someone stuck in a drum? This woman is stuck in a drum.
ALL: Aha! Don't worry, we'll have her out in no time.
The instrument, please.
Bigger.
Bigger! Perfect.
Wakko? [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING.]
[MUFFLED SHOUTING.]
[SPITTING.]
[AUDIENCE CHEERING.]
Beautiful hit by Wakko.
Could be a home run.
How do you do? [SCREAMING.]
I got her.
I got her.
I got her.
I got her! Safe.
[ALL CHEERING.]
Get your hot dogs! Ice cold hot dogs! [ORGAN PLAYS "CHARGE".]
Sing, you fool.
Sing! [SINGING NOTE.]
May I? Of course.
[SINGING NOTE.]
Darling, I love you With all my heart and soul Unfortunately You're too heavy to hold You and I Will live in splendid bliss Now, give me a big kiss Get out of my life! You shouldn't go breaking people's windows.
Ohh! Play! [ORCHESTRA RESUMES PLAYING.]
La, la, la, la Tra, la, la, la Tra, la, la, la Tra, la, la, la, la Oh! Tra, la, la, la La, la-- Whoa! Tra, la, la Ooh! Tra, la, la, la-- Oohh! [SINGING & YELLING.]
[SINGING & YELLING.]
[SCREAMING.]
[CHEERING & APPLAUSE.]
[CRASH.]
[CHEERING & APPLAUSE.]
You know, I think I could really get to like opera.
[.]
[.]
Like Abbott and Costello Like Sonny and Cher Like Martin and Lewis They're a perfect pair Like Laurel and Hardy Like Fontanne and Lunt They're perfectly mismatched They're Rita and Runt [.]
NARRATOR: 1939: in war-torn Europe, the army of the Third Reich invades Poland.
As Warsaw falls to the enemy forces, Polish freedom fighters fight back.
[.]
You know, Runt, we never should've taken that left turn at Pacoima.
This doesn't look like Burbank.
RUNT: Definitely not Burbank.
Just look into my eyes Tell me what you see This looks more like Van Nuys Than Burbank to me Just listen to the call Oh, and ain't it sweet? No matter how we fall We land on our feet Oh, you and I We're like a masquerader Who travels incognito With a friend No matter where you go You'll see me later I know we'll be together In the end Ah.
Rita! SOLDIER: Halt! Stop them! Desist! [MEN SHOUTING IN GERMAN.]
Soldiers! Let's scram! [.]
[RUNT GRUNTS.]
[BOTH PANTING.]
SOLDIER: Check the alley.
MAN: Where is he? He can't be far, Herr Commandant.
Search the area! The leader of the Polish underground must not escape the city.
Jawohl.
[.]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING.]
Shh.
They're looking for me, not you.
Katrina, darling, this is important.
If anything should happen, no matter-- No.
You know where the station is? Now, this is your ticket.
The train leaves at 5 p.
m.
Papa? Papa.
Papa! Do you believe this guy? Abandoning her just like that.
Of all the low-down, dirty-- [GASPS.]
[GROWLING.]
Was is it, Schnappsie? What do you hear? [BARKING.]
[SNIFFING.]
[GROWLS, BARKING.]
[GROWLING.]
[YOWLING.]
Deck him, deck him, definitely deck him, Rita.
[GROWLING.]
[HISSING, BARKING.]
How 'bout a little support, huh, Runt? You're a good dog, Rita.
You fight very nicely.
Definitely, definitely a good dog.
[YOWLING.]
[HISSING, BARKING.]
[WHIMPERING.]
[HISSING.]
[WHIMPERING.]
Oh, what a wonderful cat.
Thank you, thank you.
[WHISTLE BLOWING.]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING.]
Hey, wait for me! [WHISTLE BLOWS.]
Halt! You've done a good job, Schnappsie.
[GROWLING.]
Now we must follow them.
The child will lead us to the father.
Hurry, Papa's waiting at the train station.
We're going to a new home far away.
There'll be a big backyard and trees and flowers.
[SIGHS.]
And we'll all be so very happy.
Poor kid's living in a dream world.
Yeah.
Dream world.
So sad.
She really believes her dad's waiting.
Very sad.
That human's long gone.
Sad.
Don't leave it up to fate For the odds are slim Don't gamble with your life You can never win We'll see her To the train Then we'll leave Warsaw After the child Is reconciled With her papa Hurry or we'll be late! Wow.
Look at all the rocks, Rita.
Hundred and forty-seven.
Yeah, definitely, 147 rocks.
COMMANDANT: There they go, Schnappsie.
[CLOCK CHIMING.]
[IMITATING TRAIN CHUGGING.]
MAN [OVER PA.]
: Departing 4:05 on Track Number 9 with stops in Krakow, Gdansk, Hamburg, Berlin, Frankfurt, Alsace-Lorraine, Nancy, and Paris.
All aboard! I don't see Papa yet.
[TOOTING.]
[ENGINE CHUGGING.]
Papa! Papa! Papa! I hate this part.
Katrina! Papa? Katrina! Katrina, darling! Run, Katrina! This is good, definitely good.
You can do it, darling.
[WHISTLE BLOWS.]
COMMANDANT: After that girl! Uh-oh.
Stop her! He'll never leave without his daughter.
Grab her! [BARKING.]
That's right, darling, just grab my hand.
[.]
[SCHNAPPSIE BARKING.]
[GROWLING.]
[SCHNAPPSIE GROWLING.]
[YELPS.]
Oh, Daddy! [.]
Have a nice life, Rita.
Sic him, Schnappsie! [BOTH GROWLING.]
It was nice while it lasted.
[YOWLING.]
[BARKING.]
[HISSING, BARKING.]
[YELPS.]
[WHIMPERING.]
Gee, Rita, you were on your way to a nice new home with a big backyard and everything.
What happened? [TRAIN WHISTLE TOOTS.]
Well, there's always tomorrow.
You know I should have My head examined The fact is I could not go without you I'm fond of your slow wit And your bad hairdo We'll always be together Me and you [SIGHS.]
Gee, you're sweet, Rita.
Definitely sweet.
Definitely, definitely sweet.
[.]
[ORCHESTRA TUNING.]
ANNOUNCER: And now performing another classical work, the great Wakkorotti.
[APPLAUSE.]
[APPLAUSE STOPS.]
[PLAYING PONCHIELLI'S "DANCE OF THE HOURS".]
[BELCHING.]
[BELCHING.]
[CHEERING & APPLAUSE.]
Excuse me.
Oh, excuse me.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
NARRATOR: It's Mime Time.
Today on Mime Time: climbing an imaginary mountain.
The end.
[.]
It's over.
It's definitely over.