Baywatch (1989) s01e14 Episode Script

1 - Some people stand in the darkness afraid to step into the light some people need to help somebody when the edge of surrender's in sight don't you worry it's gonna be all right 'cause I'm always ready I won't let you out of my sight I'll be ready I'll be ready never you fear no, don't you fear I'll be ready forever and always I'm always here 'Cause I'm always ready I won't let you out of my sight oh I'll be ready I'll be ready never you fear no, don't you fear I'll be ready forever and always I'm always here -No, really.
I just wanted to say that-- -Don't tell me, you meant to do that? -Actually, that's a shot I picked up in tangier.
Not too many people have ever seen that before in the states.
- And what were you doing in tangier? -Well, you know, a little favor for the Navy.
-Somehow, I don't picture you working for the Navy.
-Neither did they.
So, I think I like the Navy pants the best.
-You know, they have all those buttons.
-Zippers.
No, I was seal.
I was in the wetsuits most of the time.
-Hey, look at that.
-You here all by yourself, sweet thing? -Yeah.
Sort of.
-Hey, friend.
-Guess not.
You got a problem? -No.
But it looks like you do.
Unless, of course, you can come up with a real good reason why my girlfriend's ear was just in your mouth.
-Oh, red, we were just-- -button it, Melinda! -I was just showing her what it's like to kiss a man whose breath doesn't smell like cat food.
-Ooh, I'd have that looked at.
I think it's broken.
-Not the face, you! Hey, look at that! -Something of a pansy there, aren't you, red? Give me that hat.
Come on.
You good? He has my bike, too! Whoo! - 1097.
Give us a call back 11 castlerock.
Whoo-hoo! Oh man.
Want to have a little fun, huh? -We've been up all night, John.
I don't know if I can stand any more fun.
-Well, you better hang on, sweetheart.
Better hang on! - We have a 460, a motorcycle on the beach.
-Hey what do you--? -Think I'm doing? -I should have known.
-Oh, I'm just having a little fun.
Hey, Melinda, say hi to Mitch.
-Hi, Mitch.
-He's a lifeguard.
-I'm back.
Well, took off on this guy's bike, and then we spent the night up in topanga canyon.
-Took off on a guy's bike? -You stole his motorcycle.
-No.
We borrowed it, all right.
Melinda's going to return it or sell it.
I can't remember which.
-Brawls, women, motorcycles, I mean, when are you going to slow down, dude? -Yeah, you seen much of Sam? -No.
His job keeps him pretty busy.
-You know, I can't believe that.
If I'd known he wanted to borrow that money to start that dive shop, I never would have given it to him.
-Why? He's doing pretty good.
-Yeah.
For a straight job.
I thought he was going to use that cash to romance this sweet young thing in Vegas.
-What are you laughing at? -Cort.
All right.
-How you doing? -You know, Sam takes his job pretty seriously.
As a matter of fact, he's starting to make a few bucks.
-Well, is he still a lifeguard? -Just enough to keep current, which, I presume, is why you're here.
Excuse me.
Bucannon.
It's for you.
-Yeah, sorry, man.
Yo.
Hang on, hang on a sec.
Hey, Mitch, you got a pen? -No, no.
Tonight's fine.
Yeah.
All right.
I'll catch you later, Jack.
I had to give people your phone number, you know -i noticed.
-Mitch, we need someone on tower 5.
We've got a-- -Craig, how you doing man? -Hey, Cort.
-Good to see you.
-When did you get back? -This morning.
I wanted to have Mitch throw me a tower for a couple of days, get my ten days in so I can stay on the list.
-Why do you even bother? -Because I love you guys.
Where's Sammy's shop? I wanna say hi to the bum.
-The bum is right next to the venice strand cafe.
-Can't miss it.
-Catch you guys later.
-See you.
So, tower 5, Cort? -That's terrific.
Your timing's perfect.
What do you mean you won't give me my money back? This is a terrible sandwich.
-How can that be.
Look, I'm all out of hoagies.
People at the beach, they can't get enough of them.
-Go ahead.
Try it.
-I don't eat meat.
-Well I do! I'm telling you, this meat is rotten -is that so.
You ate half of it.
Couldn't you tell on the first bite? -How could I? There was no meat in the first bite, or the second, or the third.
-Oh, you're a piece of work, lady.
First the meat is bad and then there's not enough of it.
Why don't you make up your mind? -Sandwich? -No.
-I've got fresh egg salad.
-Forget it.
I don't want to deal with a crook.
-Crook? Me? -Here's a buck.
I figure you ate about three bucks' worth.
Fine.
Don't let it ever be said that buddy t.
Semple is not an honest business man.
-What a creep! -Why'd you buy a sandwich from him in the first place? -Because I was hungry.
Buddy's had an monopoly on food at the beach ever since Mr.
Stein's weenie wagon shut down.
-Free enterprise.
You can't beat it.
-Sure we can.
Why don't we give that little weasel a healthy dose of competition? -As in selling sandwiches? -Well, how hard can it be? We'll make them at night.
We can take turns selling them on our days off.
-I don't know, Shauni.
-Come on! The guy is overcharging like crazy for really bad food.
Think about it.
We'll be doing a public service.
What do you say? -Huff! Okay This guy must be one desperate hombre.
-What the hell do you think you're doing, huh? -Well, I was doing a little spring cleaning.
I can't get my gear stowed until I clean this junk out.
-I hate to tell you, bub, but you're cleaning out the wrong locker.
-No, no.
Actually, this is the right one.
Thanks, man.
-No, no.
This is my locker.
-Well, trust me.
In about ten days it will be yours again, all right? In the meantime, I think I saw a spare hook over there in the shower room.
-You did? -Yeah.
-Is that right? -Yeah.
-You know, that one's free, but the next one will cost you.
I'm John d.
Cort.
What's your name? -Eddie Kramer.
- Please to meet you, Eddie you know, this locker was mine way back when I used to patrol this beach full-time.
We had some great memories fly around here then.
-So, how come I ain't seen you around? Because I haven't been back in a while.
You packed one hell of a mean right hook but I tell you what, you ought to do something about your lock.
Get yourself a better one.
-Hey, how you doing? Well, j.
D.
, you're even on time.
-Miracles never cease, huh? So, what is it this time, Jack? Cigarettes? Counterfeit designer blue jeans? Perhaps some more of those naughty movies you like so much? -Everything you need to know.
-Phew When do I go? -Day after tomorrow.
-Well.
-I'll see you tonight? -Probably not, sweetheart.
But I will call you.
Come on, Sam, give me a break on the board.
- This is a custom job.
- It's one of a kind.
$200 and it's yours.
-How much you give me for my old board? -Fifty.
-A hundred.
-Seventy-five.
-Done.
Pleasure doing business with you, Sam.
-Right.
-Well, you should have kept haggling.
You could have gotten the kid to take the board for free.
- Cort! -What do you say, Sammy? -Good to see you, man.
-You too.
Geez.
Well, would you look at this place? This is great.
Geez, I never would have thought you would have made it in the business world.
-It's not exactly high finance, but I do have a boat in the Marina.
I take people out scuba diving, sell a few surf boards, even putting a few bucks in the bank.
-Sammy? -All right.
I'm almost breaking even.
-Well, the way you do business around here, I'd say, you're lucky to do that.
-How long are you in for? -You know, as long as the spirit moves me, or until you kick me out.
-Great.
-Hey, I want to charter your boat.
-Hey, come on, man.
You don't have to do that.
-No, no.
It's a business deal here I've got a dive to make and I want you to go down with me.
$2500 for a couple hours work? -What are we diving for? -Just a few important crates fell overboard before they could clear customs, a guy I know wants them back.
-John, what are you doing? -Oh, hey, come on, man.
This is nothing illegal.
Well, not too illegal anyway.
There's no drugs, no weapons.
Nothing more than depriving the tax man of a little tariff.
-Well, if that's all you're talking about.
-I knew the tax thing would get you.
After all the time we spent in uncle Sam's Navy.
-As long as you're staying Pump up your own damn mattress.
-Who does this guy think he is, walking in here like he's Clint Eastwood? Shani, would you throw me my t-shirt, please? -I think he's much better looking than Clint.
-Butt out.
-How can I butt out when all your stuff is jammed in my locker? -I heard you hit him.
-Yeah, I hit him.
The guy trashed my locker.
He's lucky I didn't kill him.
-Forget about the locker.
It's seniority.
It's just for a week.
And the guy's a Navy seal.
He's a trained killer.
You don't-- -so, what? I can handle myself.
-Why are you making such a big deal out of it? -Because I don't like him.
That's why.
-Eddie, instead of looking to fight with the guy, take the time to get to know him.
-Thanks, but no thanks.
-Well, I think you ought to give him a break.
Me too! -The truth is, you kind of remind me of Cort.
-What? -You've both got a short fuse.
That's true.
-Shauni, could I have my trunks? -I can't believe it.
A rogue like you actually doing this every morning.
-Don't start.
It's a decent job.
No captains, no lieutenants, nobody to answer to but myself.
-Fine.
Great.
Cool.
If you want to commune with the surfers and deadheads, who am I to tell you what to do? But you will fill the tanks, right? Gas up the boat, make the sandwiches? -Look.
I slept on it.
I don't like this Burton.
Cigarettes, porn flicks, I mean, who knows what this guy is into.
As long as it's not drugs or arms, I don't ask any questions, and neither should you.
I mean, your split's worth what, two or three-weeks' worth of hard labor at this place? -All right.
All right.
-I'll do it.
-All right.
-But you make the sandwiches.
-Fine.
Hoagies, roast beef, ham and cheese.
Hoagies, get your hoagies.
Roast beef, ham and cheese.
I've got sandwiches.
I've got cold drinks.
Who needs something to eat? I've got all kinds of stuff.
Sandwiches, hoagies, roast beef, ham and cheese.
Sandwiches, folks? Only 4 bucks a piece.
Made with tender loving care.
What will it be? -Beat it.
-Beat it? -Beat it.
-I worked like a dog toting this cooler up and down the beach so guys like you have something to eat, and you tell me to beat it? Not fair, moi capitan.
I have a lovely shrimp salad on a croissant with sprouts.
-That sounds nice.
-You just shoved that woman's chicken sandwich down your throat less than two minutes ago.
-By the way, she charges 3 bucks for hers.
-Three bucks? What girl? -I don't know.
Some girl.
I think she's a lifeguard.
And she's got a hell of a lot better looking legs than you.
-Oh, that's really nice.
-What? -You're always looking at other girls.
Have you ever been to Jamaica? -Never been out of the country.
My travels consist of a five-day bus ride from Philly to la.
-At least you got to see the country, huh? -No.
I had an aisle seat and the windows were dirty.
-Well, you'll make it to the islands one day.
I'll tell you, Jamaica is a sweet place.
-Yeah? How long were you there? -Nearly two years.
-Doing what? -Mostly feeding frozen peas to the groupers.
Man, they fight like hell for these damn peas.
-And when you weren't feeding frozen peas to the groupers, what'd you do for money, huh? -I had a boat, tanks, snorkel gear.
If I got desperate enough, I'd snag tourists with my Jacques cousteau imitation.
Give them beer, pretzels and a ride to the reef.
Let them ride a sea turtle, snap some pictures.
Get up close and personal with a sand shark.
I'm telling you, Eddie, you've got to get there.
The air was sweet.
The rum was sweet.
-And the women? -Well, they were sweet, too.
-No, you're giving me gas! Hey! -Hey, hey, hey! -Are you all right? -Anything we can do here? -Yeah, you can get out of my face.
-Hey, man-- -whoa, Eddie.
This guy looks like he dangerous.
Isn't that right, killer? -You don't want to find out.
-No.
You're right about that.
-Why don't you go take your little boyfriend for a walk then, huh? -Now, where exactly would you like me to walk? -Okay.
Okay.
I get the message.
-All right.
Don't you just love the beach? See, Martin! -That's not the way we do things around here, man.
But it is effective.
- I'm hypnotized by what's before me you didn't know you'd could cast a spell I'm paralyzed I wanna break free you're not the kind of kiss and tell so good.
So fine I wanna make you mine you're the fire I want so much your heat is a burning candle a flaming Ember you can't touch you're too hot, too hot to handle Stop and stare you're an obsession for every girl, it's plain to see I'd be there with my affection if I could make you notice me so good.
So fine I wanna make you mine you are the fire I want so much your heat is a burning candle -Here you go.
-Thanks.
I'm so hungry.
-Enjoy your lunch.
-Okay.
Thanks a lot.
-Hey, hey! What's going on here? -Oh, hello, buddy.
Could I interest you in a little cream cheese and olive? -This is my beach, lady.
-It's on whole grain bread.
-It's my beach.
These are my customers.
-Don't tell me you're afraid of a little healthy competition? And I do mean healthy.
-Says who? -We've got three left, and we started with 40.
-What a world! Using your influence as a lifeguard to peddle your wares.
-I'm not a lifeguard today, buddy.
Just a little old-fashioned cooking.
-Oh yeah? I'll tell you what it is.
It's-- it's an unfair advantage.
-You just have an unfair advantage, using your body to drive me out of the marketplace -buddy, go away.
-Yeah, you know what it is? It's a blatant example of sexual harassment.
A problem that I am more than a little concerned about.
You haven't heard the last of buddy t.
Semple.
Hoagies, roast beef, ham and cheese! Get your hoagies.
I've got cold cuts.
I've got soft drinks.
I've got ice cream.
What do you need? Sam, it's great to be out in the chop again.
You know, we hadn't done this is in a long, long time.
-How long you figure this is going to take us? -A few hours tops.
Piece of cake.
-I remember a certain seal mission you thought was a piece of cake.
Indian ocean sound familiar? -Well, that couldn't be helped.
She was gorgeous.
-She was royalty.
If it wasn't for me, you'd be wearing a turban.
Okay.
-See you over.
-His name is Jack Burton.
I've worked for him before.
You mean smuggled.
-Hey, garner, I dive and salvage.
It's a service.
Like being a tow truck driver.
-Come on, man.
You lied to me.
This whole story about you coming in town to put in your ten days was just a front, wasn't it? -Would you get off my case! Like tvs and computers.
That's all she wrote.
I don't smuggle.
Nobody was supposed to die, Mitch.
Least of all Sam.
-Hey, Burton, get your ugly face out here! -Hey, I want you to chill.
-Is your name Jack Burton? -Yes, it is.
If you're collecting for charity, I already gave.
-Officer ellerbee, LAPD.
What can I do for you? -That's a nice try, Jack.
Told them all about your sunken treasure.
-Sunken treasure? Is that supposed to mean something to me? -You set me up, man! -Hey! -You never said anything about any-- -i told you to chill! Now get him out of here.
-You're a lying piece of scum! I'm not done with you, Jack! -Come on.
Knock it off.
-Can I get you something to drink, officer? -We'd check with sid first, you know.
Make sure captain thorp was on the phone with some honcho-- -before barging in and dropping a live lobster on his desk.
-You're kidding? -No.
And thorp would turn red and he'd slam down the phone and he'd start hollering that there's no way in hell we caught this red baron in the bay! That it had to be straight from Dean's fish market down in venice.
I'd say, "captain thorp, if you don't believe us, you just strap on your tanks and I'll take you right out there to the damn lobster, and show you where this little guy went to school.
" -There was no chance in hell that thorp was going to go diving.
So, he'd give up and he'd give Sam 20 bucks, and yell at sid to bring him a bucket.
-We'd thank him for the sale, and we'd get the hell out.
-What was it? Did you guys have secret lobster bed or something? -Yeah.
Dean's fish market in venice.
-Every time they'd play that joke on thorp, it'd cost him 35 bucks.
-That's true.
But it was worth it just to, just to see Sam bust a gut telling every girl about it on the beach.
Yeah.
Man, he'd-- well, he'd-- he'd lived on it for weeks.
I guess the time with your friends on, you moron.
-Hey, Eddie? -Yeah? -I want you to do me a favor.
-Sure, what? -Well, if I tell another one of these lame Sam stories, I want you to just turn my lights out.
Okay? -Deal.
-Okay.
-Trade that bottle of Tequila in for a cup of coffee? - No, no.
-It's not going to help, Cort.
-And who's looking for help, man? As soon as I get good and rocked, I'm out of here.
-Do you need a ride to the airport? -I'm out of this house, Mitch, not out of this time zone.
I can walk back to the shop from here.
Well Mitch, bud, get this through your head.
I'm not gone until I square things for Sam.
-Is that right? -Right.
-Well, partner, you've got a real short memory.
Not a lot of good things happen when you stick around.
-I never said I was going to be good.
-Oh, boy.
- All right.
- What are we looking for? -Anything that doesn't have gills.
-Hey, do we have spearguns? -That's all right.
Sharks won't bother us.
-Sharks? -Eddie, whatever you do, don't touch a thing.
$24, $36, $41, $51, $56.
-How we doing? -Great.
I think we actually even made a few dollars.
Here's your share, $64.
-You're kidding? That's great.
-Of course, we could forego paying ourselves a salary this week and reinvest.
-In what, onion rolls? -We should broaden our base.
I mean, there's sunblock and visors, thongs.
-T-shirts with lifeguard logos? -Yes! That's a great idea.
-Shauni, what are you talking about? -We didn't get into this business to become beach hucksters.
Good day.
-That will be $3, please.
- You're not serious? -Cash only.
-What happened to the lifeguard discount? -Uh-uh.
-Sorry.
-Well, I don't have any money on me.
All right? -I think we should at least consider doing a market survey.
-Shauni.
-Just a thought.
-I'm going to the store.
Why don't you come with me and we'll take about it over the cold cuts? -You know, if we keep selling sandwiches at this rate, we might be able to drive buddy right out of business.
Maybe we should expand to desserts.
-You know, if Sam hadn't been in such a damn hurry, he would have seen this crate was rigged.
-What are you talking about? -This guy was a pro.
See this piece here? The same kind of detonation device we use in the seals.
-So, what about this Jack Burton? Huh? Was he in the Navy? -No way.
And what about you? -Do you have any enemies from your Navy days? -Pull the anchor in, will you? -It was quite a show you put on.
Almost had me in tears.
-Tears, huh? Jack, that little surprise of yours put you right at the top of my payback list.
-Is that right? -Yeah, you'd better believe it.
Yeah, and to be honest with you, names don't last there very long.
-Get your head together, Cort.
I didn't have anything to do with the explosion.
Why the hell would I want to blow up my own stuff? -You get your dog, put him on a leash and get him out of here before he messes on the floor.
-You're going to wish that he was on a leash, if you don't come across with my stuff.
-Oh, you want your stuff? All right.
There you go.
Get it, pal.
It's still at the bottom.
If I were you, I'd be real careful about touching it.
Now go on.
Get out of here! Take your pitbull with you.
-What'd Burton want? -Oh, he wanted a deal on a new board.
-Oh, gee, I hope you gave it to him.
-Oh, yeah, you know me, Mr.
Business man to the core.
-Come on, cut it, will you? You still think he did it? -No.
No, because he's small time.
-Then who is it, John? Who wants you dead? -I don't know, man.
Last few years, I've gotten on the wrong side of half a dozen husbands.
Went few rounds with a teamster from Cleveland.
I guess I did irritate a certain dictator in central America.
And Mitch, thanks for stopping by, all right? But I've got to fly -where you going? -I've got a date.
-Now? -Yeah.
She works until 1.
-Someone's trying to kill you and you're going out on a date? -Melinda makes you forget your troubles, all right? -Oh, in that case it makes the whole thing okay.
-I think that's great.
-Come on, Mitch.
If nothing else, I'll lay low for a while, stay out of garner's way.
Whoa, Mitch! -Anybody else you can think of who might want you dead? Jack Burton's alibi checks out.
You mentioned another guy from the Navy.
What was the story on him anyway? -Name's Grant.
He was a demolitions expert in the seals with me and Sam.
We went on a mission in the mediterranean and Grant broke orders.
Used twice as much c4 as was called for.
The psycho killed two of my divers.
-C4, 30 pounds of plastic was stolen from the seal training base at coronado.
-You've got friends in the Navy? -I have friends downtown.
The lab boys found traces of c4 in the fragments you found.
-Oh, that sounds about right.
-Your friend Grant, does he still has pals down there? -Yeah.
I mean the guy did a lot of tours.
I mean he had, he had a few medals.
Quite a few guys thought I never should have turned him in.
Still blames me for testifying against him in his court martial.
-Why didn't you tell us about this guy before? -Well, there's no need.
He's rotting away in prison.
-You sure about that, John? -Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
He's doing 10 to 20 in attica.
The guy tried to get a loan from a bank.
They wouldn't give it to him, so he blew the place up.
Look, I'll see you guys later.
I'm going to catch some zs.
-You checking out his story? -You've got that right.
-You were lucky, man.
-No.
Wasn't much plastic.
Just enough to send a message.
-Do you have any idea who might have done it? -Maybe.
I don't know.
-Yeah? -Yeah, I noticed.
-How was your shave? Yeah, still wearing that cocky grin? -Yeah, yeah.
You still bald? -So, I guess it's just you and me now that Sam's dead, huh? -Grant, you are one sick puppy.
-Listen.
I want to meet.
-Sure.
Why don't you come on over.
I'll buy you a drink, and then we'll talk about old times.
-Oh, drink.
Hell, I was thinking more along the lines of cutting your guts out in the water.
- No, no.
It's a little too cold.
-Full gear, just like old days.
-When? Why don't you make it 4? I want to make sure I look my best.
-Don't be late.
-I want to meet your friend.
-No.
Sorry, Eddie.
No cops, no lifeguards and no new friends.
Now, I mean it, man.
Stay clear.
-Hi! -Hey.
-How'd you do? -Not good.
I didn't sell one sandwich.
-Buddy? -Yeah, I guess he got here first this morning.
-Maybe he lowered his prices.
-Maybe he's making better sandwiches.
-You know, even if we get stuck with all these sandwiches, it's still not a total waste.
-How do you figure that? -We finally got buddy to stop peddling rancid food.
-Martin, I hate you.
-Wanda, you're a fruitcake! Excuse me.
Can I get some help here, please? -Martin.
-Wanda, she's a nutcase.
All I did was buy a sandwich from that guy over there.
That little dweebie guy over there.
-Oh, no.
Well, it looks like buddy found a better way to lure customers than improving the quality of sandwiches.
Hello.
Hello.
Hey, hello.
My face here.
Can you take a look at it, please? -Oh, yeah.
-Thanks.
-Grant? -Oh! -There they are! Get closer.
Grab his mask.
You all right? -Yeah.
Mitch, you okay? -Yeah, I'm fine.
-Yeah.
-Come on.
Let's get him in here.
-You okay, man? -Yeah.
Not a scratch.
Hey, Mitch, thanks! -We'll talk later, man.
-You know what I don't get? -What's that? -If he wanted you dead so bad, why didn't he just put a gun to your head? -Because he wanted to blow me into little pieces.
-Let's get the hell out of here, man.
-Hey, where do you think you're going? -On vacation.
Life around here is a little too hectic.
-No, you can't.
-Why is that? -Because you haven't put in your days yet.
-I guess my lifeguarding career is over then.
-Good.
I get my locker back.
-There is another reason.
Sam's will, you're in it.
-No kidding? What'd he leave me? Some new gear? Oh, come on.
No way? -Yep, the place and everything in it.
And a hefty mortgage and lots of bills -well, good old Sam.
Well, no way I'm letting him get the last laugh.
I'm out of here.
-Wait, you can't just walk away.
-Oh, yeah.
Just watch me.
-Hi, doll.
You got your toothbrush packed? -Nope, but I'll use yours.
-Oh! -Uhm.
-Craig, sell this place for me, would you? -I'll try but I think you should think twice about it.
-You put a little work into this place, you could probably turn a good profit.
-Do you want a job? -No way.
-Come on, I thought we were friends.
What do you mean? -Yeah.
-Yeah, well we are.
But I'm not interested.
All right? -Come one.
We'll be back from-- where'd you say we're going to be again? -Yuma.
-Yuma? Now, what are we going to do in yuma? -I don't know, but I'm sure we'll think of something.
-So, what do you say? -Come on.
-I don't want to.
All right? No.
-Anything you sell will go into your pocket.
-I think it's a good idea.
-There you go.
Thanks, guys! -Hey, Cort! Cort! Hey, you guys, how about a tank, huh? Wet suit, surf board? What do you say?