Cowboy Bebop (1998) s01e14 Episode Script
Bohemian Rhapsody
1 I think it's time to blow this scene Get everybody and the stuff together OK, 3-2-1, let's jam Welcome back.
So how'd it go? - Nothing to do with the syndicate - He was just a regular employee - They were just thugs - just dead-end kids who wanted money - who gave into temptation - that got their stash stolen - They're all on their way to juvie.
- The poor sap's behind bars.
- They went to the cops stone broke.
So what? You did it.
You caught every criminal on the whole list.
But you didn't pick up any leads or clues? Come on! Still using paper to send in their complaints That's just harassment.
Waste of resources.
And our server's gone down from all the e-complaints.
You know, there's a movement out there to sue the company for damages.
Where are the damn bounty hunters when you need them?! We put out a huge bounty on the guy! True, but maybe it wasn't enough.
Hi, amigos! All you bad bounty hunters, how y'all doin'? Once again, it's time for Big Shot! Here's today's hot news.
They caught the lowdown outlaws who carried out those recent gate attacks.
Really? The bounty on that guy was 12 million Woolongs! I said outlaws.
They caught twenty of 'em.
Huh? What do you mean, Punch? It looks like they were caught in the act, but none of them was the mastermind.
Oh, well, you don't get the reward unless you find the mastermind, right? Shucks howdy, that's right! Then the guys who caught 'em don't get a penny.
Sorry, you guys.
Why would the kind of two-bit hoods who usually rob convenience stores suddenly attack an astral gate? I don't know.
Maybe it's a new fad for criminals.
Right "Hey, kids, if you're a fashion- conscious young hood, remember," "that cute girl won't even look your way unless you knock over an astral gate.
" "Do it today!" You mean like that? So listen, guys.
Why don't we all pony up the information we have on this case and agree to split the bounty three ways? What do you say? You're kidding, right? You're the one who said to work separately.
"Each one gathering the facts and examining them" "Occasional rivalry between comrades is healthy.
" I believe that's the way you put it.
Did the size of the reward scramble your brain? What? You guys are really keen on the idea.
I can't believe it.
After all, we each wanted the bounty to put in our own pockets, right? In that case All twenty hits were done the same way.
Every one of them infiltrated the tollbooth.
And attached the hacking unit very precisely.
So when a ship was coming through, at the exact moment it paid the toll, they could steal the entire balance from the credit chip.
The unit immediately sent the cash credits over a secured link to a bank on Europa.
There, the money was electronically laundered through a series of blind transactions that can't be traced in any way.
All the culprits were caught in the act.
None of them have anything in common.
Age, gender, nationality, religion, criminal record nothing.
On top of that, not one of them had a single stolen Woolong on him.
Well, that's all the information I could get.
How about you? The guy I nabbed was so clueless, he said he was following the instructions from a manual he got mail-order from some website.
Maybe the other thieves were all wannabes who read the same manual, you know? Manual? Here.
"All new criminal support software.
" "Act now for this special offer.
" "For the low introductory price of 30,000 Woolongs," "you can be a billionaire.
" What the hell? It's complicated to be an outlaw nowadays.
So some people use manuals to help them out.
Where is this mail-order company? In cyberspace.
It's virtual.
There's no actual location.
And now the website's gone without a trace.
Spike, how about you? Those hacking units weren't designed by some piker.
It was an insider who knows precisely how the gate system works.
Whoever's behind it is probably connected to the gate corporation.
That was my take on it.
I tried to look into it, but uh - You mean a crooked programmer? - Right, yeah.
But the guys from the gate corporation suddenly became very uncooperative.
It was as if they knew it was going on, but they didn't wanna talk about it, you know? You dead? Hey.
Hey.
Uh, where were we? Here, wait a minute Yeah.
These pieces are it.
They're still our best clues.
Give it to Ed! Give it! There it is.
This is a memory cartridge for playing e-chess.
The memory chip stores data within the piece.
Yeah, you can activate one game.
It connects to the net.
See? And so this has something to do with the incidents at the gate? Not a bit.
Maybe this whole thing with the astral gate is really just a big game.
Go ahead and play against your cyber opponent, Ed.
Right.
I'll try dealing with the gate corporation again.
OK! 1-2-3-4, Ed's gonna score more! Play ball! Another bounty hunter? I don't care what he wants.
Send him away.
He says he looking for a programmer who likes to play chess.
What? It's you.
You too, eh, Jon? You went through all that trouble for nothing, like an amateur.
This one is much tougher than it looks, Jet.
You read our bounty bulletin.
All the information is there.
It's very straightforward.
What else do you need to know? I'm afraid there's no smoking allowed in here.
Oh, I'm sorry! My bad! Actually, I don't have any questions.
It's just - There's something I want you to see.
- What's that? This is a game.
All planned out in advance.
You gate guys know exactly what I'm talking about.
You put a bounty out on some mastermind who may not even exist, which means you don't want the police to know who's really behind this.
You suits are using us bounty hunters like pawns.
And I don't appreciate it.
Bounty hunters should look for bounties.
I suggest you do that.
Maybe you used to work for the ISSP, maybe not.
Either way, you'd be wise to drop this line of inquiry.
Our guest is leaving now.
Make sure he's escorted out of the building.
Shit Come on! We should've never taken such a risk.
If this thing ever gets out, you know what will happen.
I'm fully aware of the danger.
And if we don't catch him fast, the situation can only get worse.
But why would a ghost from fifty years ago suddenly come back now? Doesn't make any sense.
And he gives everyone a chess piece unbelievable.
- Chessmaster Hex - Yeah The whole thing really is a game for him.
Chessmaster Hex, huh? No good.
There's nothing in here but chess data.
I wonder what they were planning to do with these things.
Well, the data doesn't have any meaning, but what if the chess pieces themselves are some kinda message? Hey, Spike, I've got an ID.
See what you can find on him.
He could be the so-called mastermind behind this thing.
Huh.
Ed? Edward is very busy right now.
Check-check-check-checkmate! Ah so Ed thought! Well, at least my knight takes your rook.
Lucky, this is either an idiot or a genius! I like this fellow! Chessmaster Hex.
Estimated to be 98 years old.
A programmer that had been dubbed a genius from his teens.
In the Cosmonet chess tournaments, he held the champion's seat for decades.
He applied his intellect to the Hyperspace Gate Project, joining the program at 30 years of age.
He eventually developed the central control system that all gates use to this day.
But after that, he started to have doubts.
He said the design had defects, and the gates shouldn't be built yet.
He wanted to run more tests.
So they fired him and built the gates anyway.
He's been missing for the last fifty years.
So he's the mastermind who taught those beginners.
But why? Is he trying to get revenge after all these years, or what? Maybe if we track him down, we can get to the bottom of it.
- Hey, Ed.
- Edward is very busy.
Try later.
Forget later, we need some help, now.
Gimme that-- Ed, we're trying to find a guy named Hex.
He's in cyberspace.
Hex, Hex, the Chessmaster Edward is playing chess against him right now.
Huh? I tracked him through Edward's game, and we're coming up on him.
Are you guys standing by? I don't like this.
He made it much too easy to trace him.
This guy's too smart for that.
Maybe it's a false trail.
I mean, look where we're heading.
- Would he be in a dump like that? - Hold on a minute.
Listen to me.
I heard about this place a long time ago.
A kind of floating scrapyard where they leave wrecked gate parts, abandoned spaceships, and scrap metal.
People moved in and started living there.
Squatters and drifters.
Why the hell would they wanna live there of all places? There's no government, no nationality, no taxes, and no cops.
They see it as total freedom.
Yeah, right It'd also make it a perfect place to hide out.
Remember, this could be a trap.
A continuation of the game.
Whatever happens, happens.
Looks like there's air in here.
Then there's someone there.
How's it going, Jet? Jonathan! What are you doing out here? Tracking you, of course.
Thanks for leading the way.
You mean you've been following us? What for? It's like this.
I've got a score to settle with the guy you're looking for.
Bye-bye! What the-- What's that? What the hell? What's this? What's going on? Hi.
Peace to the whole galaxy.
And to my bank account, love love.
Do you want one? Wow! Whoa! Chessmaster Hex, I take it.
Don't try anything, understand? You both Well, could you be just a little quieter, please? Old man Hand it over! Hey, hold on a minute! Pretending to be senile won't get you outta this.
- Who are you? - Either you give me the money you took, or I put a hole right through your brain! That's quite a large pipe there.
Hey, whatcha doin', Hex? Oh, you've got to see this! My first formidable opponent in ages! He must be some player to pin you down.
What's your next move? I don't know Let's have lunch first! You ate lunch a few minutes ago, blast it! Really? Did I like it? Who are these guys? Don't know.
But this one is losing it.
You leave your brain somewhere? Yeah, like you can talk, you numbskull.
My life savings gone I'll never get it back now, dammit goddammit! Anyone and everyone in the whole world It's all a mistake! What are we gonna do with him? The old duffer's out of touch.
He can't recall yesterday, let alone fifty years ago.
Lucky for him, Hex is no longer here.
There's no one left but an old man who loves to play games.
Hex was furious.
He wanted revenge, and this is how he got it.
He set up the sting to kick in fifty years later when the gate was prescheduled for its first automatic tech upgrade.
It was all planned out.
He even arranged for his operatives to carry chess pieces to let you know that he had finally gotten back at you.
But fifty years is a long time.
Hex got old.
Then he got senile.
He completely forgot about the traps that he himself had set.
Well, it's better for you this way.
You know he won't expose you now.
Your dirty little secret will remain a secret.
He can't tell anyone about the defects you built into the gates.
So that's it then.
You don't have to worry about him.
You just have to worry about us.
What do you want, money? Is that it? Come on, say it.
What's your price to keep from leaking this thing to the press? Just leave the old guy alone.
Call off the bounty hunters.
That's all we ask.
You see, Ed would be unhappy if she lost her favorite chess partner.
And we wouldn't want that to happen, now would we? Are you playing again? Not again, Ed's still playing.
You mean you've played the same game for a week?! - Mm-hmm.
- I see.
Well, good luck, Ed.
Yo, newbie! You're in a good mood today! Howdy there, guys.
He's an easy-goin' dude, ain't he? Sure is, Antonio.
Nice fella.
Checkmate! Checkmate! He got me Aishiteta to nageku ni wa Amari ni mo toki wa sugite shimatta Mada kokoro no hokorobi o Iyasenu mama kaze ga fuiteru Kawaita hitomi de dareka naite kure The real folk blues Hontou no kanashimi ga shiritai dake Doro no kawa ni tsukatta Jinsei mo waruku wa nai Ichido kiri de owarunara Love is to believe in everything.
Wait a minute, are you serious? Love is the heart that gives to all.
Come on That's what the story's about? Love is the heart that accepts everything.
You know I'm not buying this.
Whitney, you loved me that much.
You really can't trust the previews on this show.
A romantic love story for all you lovers.
Next episode: "My Funny Valentine.
" It's gotta be a lie.
Yeah, she's making it up.
So how'd it go? - Nothing to do with the syndicate - He was just a regular employee - They were just thugs - just dead-end kids who wanted money - who gave into temptation - that got their stash stolen - They're all on their way to juvie.
- The poor sap's behind bars.
- They went to the cops stone broke.
So what? You did it.
You caught every criminal on the whole list.
But you didn't pick up any leads or clues? Come on! Still using paper to send in their complaints That's just harassment.
Waste of resources.
And our server's gone down from all the e-complaints.
You know, there's a movement out there to sue the company for damages.
Where are the damn bounty hunters when you need them?! We put out a huge bounty on the guy! True, but maybe it wasn't enough.
Hi, amigos! All you bad bounty hunters, how y'all doin'? Once again, it's time for Big Shot! Here's today's hot news.
They caught the lowdown outlaws who carried out those recent gate attacks.
Really? The bounty on that guy was 12 million Woolongs! I said outlaws.
They caught twenty of 'em.
Huh? What do you mean, Punch? It looks like they were caught in the act, but none of them was the mastermind.
Oh, well, you don't get the reward unless you find the mastermind, right? Shucks howdy, that's right! Then the guys who caught 'em don't get a penny.
Sorry, you guys.
Why would the kind of two-bit hoods who usually rob convenience stores suddenly attack an astral gate? I don't know.
Maybe it's a new fad for criminals.
Right "Hey, kids, if you're a fashion- conscious young hood, remember," "that cute girl won't even look your way unless you knock over an astral gate.
" "Do it today!" You mean like that? So listen, guys.
Why don't we all pony up the information we have on this case and agree to split the bounty three ways? What do you say? You're kidding, right? You're the one who said to work separately.
"Each one gathering the facts and examining them" "Occasional rivalry between comrades is healthy.
" I believe that's the way you put it.
Did the size of the reward scramble your brain? What? You guys are really keen on the idea.
I can't believe it.
After all, we each wanted the bounty to put in our own pockets, right? In that case All twenty hits were done the same way.
Every one of them infiltrated the tollbooth.
And attached the hacking unit very precisely.
So when a ship was coming through, at the exact moment it paid the toll, they could steal the entire balance from the credit chip.
The unit immediately sent the cash credits over a secured link to a bank on Europa.
There, the money was electronically laundered through a series of blind transactions that can't be traced in any way.
All the culprits were caught in the act.
None of them have anything in common.
Age, gender, nationality, religion, criminal record nothing.
On top of that, not one of them had a single stolen Woolong on him.
Well, that's all the information I could get.
How about you? The guy I nabbed was so clueless, he said he was following the instructions from a manual he got mail-order from some website.
Maybe the other thieves were all wannabes who read the same manual, you know? Manual? Here.
"All new criminal support software.
" "Act now for this special offer.
" "For the low introductory price of 30,000 Woolongs," "you can be a billionaire.
" What the hell? It's complicated to be an outlaw nowadays.
So some people use manuals to help them out.
Where is this mail-order company? In cyberspace.
It's virtual.
There's no actual location.
And now the website's gone without a trace.
Spike, how about you? Those hacking units weren't designed by some piker.
It was an insider who knows precisely how the gate system works.
Whoever's behind it is probably connected to the gate corporation.
That was my take on it.
I tried to look into it, but uh - You mean a crooked programmer? - Right, yeah.
But the guys from the gate corporation suddenly became very uncooperative.
It was as if they knew it was going on, but they didn't wanna talk about it, you know? You dead? Hey.
Hey.
Uh, where were we? Here, wait a minute Yeah.
These pieces are it.
They're still our best clues.
Give it to Ed! Give it! There it is.
This is a memory cartridge for playing e-chess.
The memory chip stores data within the piece.
Yeah, you can activate one game.
It connects to the net.
See? And so this has something to do with the incidents at the gate? Not a bit.
Maybe this whole thing with the astral gate is really just a big game.
Go ahead and play against your cyber opponent, Ed.
Right.
I'll try dealing with the gate corporation again.
OK! 1-2-3-4, Ed's gonna score more! Play ball! Another bounty hunter? I don't care what he wants.
Send him away.
He says he looking for a programmer who likes to play chess.
What? It's you.
You too, eh, Jon? You went through all that trouble for nothing, like an amateur.
This one is much tougher than it looks, Jet.
You read our bounty bulletin.
All the information is there.
It's very straightforward.
What else do you need to know? I'm afraid there's no smoking allowed in here.
Oh, I'm sorry! My bad! Actually, I don't have any questions.
It's just - There's something I want you to see.
- What's that? This is a game.
All planned out in advance.
You gate guys know exactly what I'm talking about.
You put a bounty out on some mastermind who may not even exist, which means you don't want the police to know who's really behind this.
You suits are using us bounty hunters like pawns.
And I don't appreciate it.
Bounty hunters should look for bounties.
I suggest you do that.
Maybe you used to work for the ISSP, maybe not.
Either way, you'd be wise to drop this line of inquiry.
Our guest is leaving now.
Make sure he's escorted out of the building.
Shit Come on! We should've never taken such a risk.
If this thing ever gets out, you know what will happen.
I'm fully aware of the danger.
And if we don't catch him fast, the situation can only get worse.
But why would a ghost from fifty years ago suddenly come back now? Doesn't make any sense.
And he gives everyone a chess piece unbelievable.
- Chessmaster Hex - Yeah The whole thing really is a game for him.
Chessmaster Hex, huh? No good.
There's nothing in here but chess data.
I wonder what they were planning to do with these things.
Well, the data doesn't have any meaning, but what if the chess pieces themselves are some kinda message? Hey, Spike, I've got an ID.
See what you can find on him.
He could be the so-called mastermind behind this thing.
Huh.
Ed? Edward is very busy right now.
Check-check-check-checkmate! Ah so Ed thought! Well, at least my knight takes your rook.
Lucky, this is either an idiot or a genius! I like this fellow! Chessmaster Hex.
Estimated to be 98 years old.
A programmer that had been dubbed a genius from his teens.
In the Cosmonet chess tournaments, he held the champion's seat for decades.
He applied his intellect to the Hyperspace Gate Project, joining the program at 30 years of age.
He eventually developed the central control system that all gates use to this day.
But after that, he started to have doubts.
He said the design had defects, and the gates shouldn't be built yet.
He wanted to run more tests.
So they fired him and built the gates anyway.
He's been missing for the last fifty years.
So he's the mastermind who taught those beginners.
But why? Is he trying to get revenge after all these years, or what? Maybe if we track him down, we can get to the bottom of it.
- Hey, Ed.
- Edward is very busy.
Try later.
Forget later, we need some help, now.
Gimme that-- Ed, we're trying to find a guy named Hex.
He's in cyberspace.
Hex, Hex, the Chessmaster Edward is playing chess against him right now.
Huh? I tracked him through Edward's game, and we're coming up on him.
Are you guys standing by? I don't like this.
He made it much too easy to trace him.
This guy's too smart for that.
Maybe it's a false trail.
I mean, look where we're heading.
- Would he be in a dump like that? - Hold on a minute.
Listen to me.
I heard about this place a long time ago.
A kind of floating scrapyard where they leave wrecked gate parts, abandoned spaceships, and scrap metal.
People moved in and started living there.
Squatters and drifters.
Why the hell would they wanna live there of all places? There's no government, no nationality, no taxes, and no cops.
They see it as total freedom.
Yeah, right It'd also make it a perfect place to hide out.
Remember, this could be a trap.
A continuation of the game.
Whatever happens, happens.
Looks like there's air in here.
Then there's someone there.
How's it going, Jet? Jonathan! What are you doing out here? Tracking you, of course.
Thanks for leading the way.
You mean you've been following us? What for? It's like this.
I've got a score to settle with the guy you're looking for.
Bye-bye! What the-- What's that? What the hell? What's this? What's going on? Hi.
Peace to the whole galaxy.
And to my bank account, love love.
Do you want one? Wow! Whoa! Chessmaster Hex, I take it.
Don't try anything, understand? You both Well, could you be just a little quieter, please? Old man Hand it over! Hey, hold on a minute! Pretending to be senile won't get you outta this.
- Who are you? - Either you give me the money you took, or I put a hole right through your brain! That's quite a large pipe there.
Hey, whatcha doin', Hex? Oh, you've got to see this! My first formidable opponent in ages! He must be some player to pin you down.
What's your next move? I don't know Let's have lunch first! You ate lunch a few minutes ago, blast it! Really? Did I like it? Who are these guys? Don't know.
But this one is losing it.
You leave your brain somewhere? Yeah, like you can talk, you numbskull.
My life savings gone I'll never get it back now, dammit goddammit! Anyone and everyone in the whole world It's all a mistake! What are we gonna do with him? The old duffer's out of touch.
He can't recall yesterday, let alone fifty years ago.
Lucky for him, Hex is no longer here.
There's no one left but an old man who loves to play games.
Hex was furious.
He wanted revenge, and this is how he got it.
He set up the sting to kick in fifty years later when the gate was prescheduled for its first automatic tech upgrade.
It was all planned out.
He even arranged for his operatives to carry chess pieces to let you know that he had finally gotten back at you.
But fifty years is a long time.
Hex got old.
Then he got senile.
He completely forgot about the traps that he himself had set.
Well, it's better for you this way.
You know he won't expose you now.
Your dirty little secret will remain a secret.
He can't tell anyone about the defects you built into the gates.
So that's it then.
You don't have to worry about him.
You just have to worry about us.
What do you want, money? Is that it? Come on, say it.
What's your price to keep from leaking this thing to the press? Just leave the old guy alone.
Call off the bounty hunters.
That's all we ask.
You see, Ed would be unhappy if she lost her favorite chess partner.
And we wouldn't want that to happen, now would we? Are you playing again? Not again, Ed's still playing.
You mean you've played the same game for a week?! - Mm-hmm.
- I see.
Well, good luck, Ed.
Yo, newbie! You're in a good mood today! Howdy there, guys.
He's an easy-goin' dude, ain't he? Sure is, Antonio.
Nice fella.
Checkmate! Checkmate! He got me Aishiteta to nageku ni wa Amari ni mo toki wa sugite shimatta Mada kokoro no hokorobi o Iyasenu mama kaze ga fuiteru Kawaita hitomi de dareka naite kure The real folk blues Hontou no kanashimi ga shiritai dake Doro no kawa ni tsukatta Jinsei mo waruku wa nai Ichido kiri de owarunara Love is to believe in everything.
Wait a minute, are you serious? Love is the heart that gives to all.
Come on That's what the story's about? Love is the heart that accepts everything.
You know I'm not buying this.
Whitney, you loved me that much.
You really can't trust the previews on this show.
A romantic love story for all you lovers.
Next episode: "My Funny Valentine.
" It's gotta be a lie.
Yeah, she's making it up.