Dog with a Blog (2012) s01e14 Episode Script
Crimes of the Art
Hey, avery.
How's it goin'? Oh, you're working on your painting for the youth art competition? Yep.
And this is the most exciting part of the process.
The canvas is blank.
All things are possible.
You have no idea what you're gonna paint, do ya? Not a clue.
But that's what I love about it.
That moment when nothing can turn into everything.
You're totally frustrated, aren't you? Completely.
I really wanna impress the youth art judges.
But any moment now, that frustration is gonna turn into inspiration.
Then you know what happens? It builds up inside of you until you can't hold it in any longer, And then-- Youth art! Youth art! They really gotta change that name.
Totally.
So what do you get if you win? I love art for its own sake.
I don't care about the cash prize.
Only the shallowest, Mouth-breathing heathens Care about the $200.
Did someone say "$200"? It has nothing to do with you.
It's about an art competition.
Cool, I'm in.
I was just in a stupid art museum for school.
One display was just a pile of lasagna on top of a bed.
I could do that.
I have done that.
You totally missed the point of the piece.
I did not.
The artist was challenging your expectations By commenting on the nature of art itself.
Oh, that's the point? Yeah, I totally missed that.
People say art is an expression of the artist.
If that's true, I have a dozen one-of-a-kind sculptures in the back yard.
They started out as performance art.
Now they're a permanent installation.
Ohif you'll excuse me, I'm feeling inspired.
Why is everyone bringing their paintings Down here so early if the judging doesn't start till tomorrow? Well, it's good to get some buzz going at the art fair.
The judges will see it.
It'll get under their skin.
It'll really grow on them.
Oh, speaking of stuff getting under your skin and growing, Did you pick up my cream from the vet? Shh.
Here comes one of the judges.
I can't appear too excited.
I'm just gonna look like a tortured artiste.
Ooh Hey, what are they looking at? It just looks like a big pile of trash.
I call my piece big pile of trash.
Intriguing.
So complex.
Found objects turned into art.
I love it.
I like to challenge your expectations By commenting on the nature of art itself.
Very original.
Wonderful work.
Tyler, those are my words.
You stole them.
No I found them and turned them into art.
You can't just slap stuff together and call it art.
Canand did.
I can't believe you're doing this.
Art is my thing! Avery, let's get out of here quick.
I just made an unofficial entry in the art contest.
And that's how mother won the world's strongest man competition.
They tried to take her trophy away.
Karl, every time you come over, I always assume it's to see avery or tyler.
You know, someone closer to your age.
Aren't you close to my age? More tea? Don't move.
The midmorning light is sculpting your dramatic cheekbones like rodin-- The revered french artist, not the flying japanese monster.
No, I've been told that before.
About my dramatic cheekbones.
Not about the flying monster.
I don't mean to put you on the spot, but could I Paint your portrait? I couldn't imagine a more splendid subject.
More lemon cake? Oh, hello, karl.
Sweetheart.
Get out of my midmorning light! Whoa! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get into your-- What? Karl wants to capture my beauty For all of humanity to enjoy throughout eternity.
His words.
It's not weird.
Dr.
James, the way the sweat Glints off your stately brow.
I could paint both of you for the youth art competition.
But he's so sweaty.
We will certainly think about it, karl.
Thanks.
Now I better go let mother out of her hyperbaric chamber.
Too much pure oxygen, and she goes full hulk.
Hmm.
Needy, looking for attachment.
He's just a nice boy who appreciates beauty.
I was talking about you.
Honey, think about his parents.
I mean, mrs.
Fink does nothing but pump iron, And colonel fink is up in the international space station.
Compared to them, we're model parents.
You're a mother who doesn't pull buses with her teeth.
And I'm here.
On earth.
I see what's going on here.
Anytime I get a compliment from anyone else, You dismiss it.
Oh, is this about the drycleaner again? Angelo always winks at me.
He winks at me, too.
The cleaning fumes get in his eyes.
So I guess it's just so implausible That the drycleaner might find me the least bit attractive.
Good to know.
I get why you chose space, fink.
Hey, chloe, whatcha doin'? Avery and tyler are doing art.
I thought maybe I should, too.
What? Just because they're doing something doesn't mean you have to.
You can be original and come up with something completely different.
Come on, chloe.
Think for yourself.
You wanna do art with me? Do I?! This is much better than our first finger-painting.
What should we do now? Pull it.
All this stuff used to have meaning.
Then it became junk.
I'm just giving it a new meaning.
Oh Oh Why is everyone so crazy about this stupid pile of garbage? Well, a more discerning eye might grasp its subtleties, But I just like that it smells like garbage.
It's like he's doing this just to spite me.
He doesn't even care about art, And he's making a fool out of everyone who does.
There's egg salad in there somewhere.
You know, I'd just like to pick this thing up and smash it to the ground! Yeah, but you'd never do that, Because you're decent and moral, And I'm pretty sure you can't lift it.
I know.
You're right.
I would never actually do it.
It just makes me so mad.
Well, artists like you and tyler are very passionate.
He's not an artist! Oh, boy.
Oh, no! What did I do? First, you started ranting and waving your arms.
And then you knocked tyler's sculpture right-- Oh Was that a rhetorical question? I can't believe I did this.
What am I gonna do? You're gonna tell him, right? Maybe it won't be a big deal.
He's just in it for the money.
That's right.
We'll just go home, And we'll tell him that I did it.
Not like he cared about his stupid sculpture.
My sculpture! Wow.
Imagine how upset he'd be if he cared about it.
Tyler, are you okay? No.
Somebody broke my sculpture.
How did this happen? I have no idea.
I was standing over there.
I was looking the other way.
I was actually thinking of the origin of the word "Alibi.
" I believe it's latin.
How would I know what happened? Look at it.
There's egg salad everywhere.
I knew it! Tyler, why are you so upset? I'm sure you can get $200 somewhere else.
This isn't about the money.
I mean, it was when I started, But then I got into it, And I thought it was so cool.
I really felt like I was challenging expectations By commenting on the nature of art.
Seriously? I mean, maybe you can fix it.
I can't fix it! Hey, what do you mean? All the pieces are attached again.
Ooh, it still smells like egg salad.
I think you're good to go.
Are you kidding? Before, it was all smooth and sculpted.
Now it's sticking out all over! It's like the bad hair day of art! Like when we took that family trip to florida.
So much humidity.
Well, um, maybe I can help you.
No! You can't help me.
This isn't my homework.
Or untying the knots on my necklaces with those tiny hands of yours.
Don't feel bad.
Your hands aren't that small.
They fit your body.
Dr.
James, you are an inspiration.
You have a thriving career, A loving family, and the confidence to drive A lavender minivan.
Uh, sorry, I don't know what's keeping mrs.
Jennings! She's been a little, uh-- Well, someday you'll know when you marry a woman.
Or construct one in your lab.
Whatever your thing is.
I'm so sorry to be late.
I just wanted to look nice for your painting.
I can't tell: Is it a lovely woman with a flower in her hair Or a beautiful flower with a woman stuck to it? You are such a dear.
What a lovely thing to say.
Okay, is this about when you Thought I didn't acknowledge your beauty? You're entitled to your opinions.
Honey, no.
No, I'm really not.
Dr.
James, if you could sit here.
And mrs.
Jennings, stand there in any pose that's comfortable.
Ellen, I hope you know how beautiful I think you are.
Well now you're just saying it because you know it's what I want to hear.
Exactly.
Ellen, wait.
Where are you going? To the drycleaner's Where women are appreciated.
You are really bad at this.
Hey, beautiful lady.
Uh, I don't blame you for not picking up.
But I think you're gorgeous.
Please give me the chance to tell you.
And if you're still at the drycleaner's, could you see if my blue pants are ready.
Hey.
Hey, Are you busy? Uh, I'm just apologizing to your mother.
Has she always been this needy? You're probably gonna want to end that call.
Oh! Uh, yeah.
What's up? Um, dad, what I say in here Stays between us, right? Unless it's really interesting, And then I use it in one of my books.
But don't worry, I always change the name.
Wait, I was anxious anne? And lashandra.
Okay, totally confidential.
What's going on? I'm the one who broke tyler's sculpture.
What? I got jealous and I went crazy.
Didn't you ever do something so stupid you wish you could take it back The minute it happened? Did you not just see me drop a phone in the water? Have you told tyler? Well, that's why I'm here.
I'm thinking it's better not to tell him.
He doesn't suspect me.
Why get him all upset? So, you're doing this for his good? Yes! Totally selfless.
I knew you'd understand.
Good talk.
And you won't say a word, right? Of course not, hon.
But I should tell you, People often come to see me as a psychologist Looking for justification for not doing something They know they should do.
Exactly.
That's all I came in here for.
Ahh, lashandra.
What are we gonna do for our art project? I don't know.
What do artists do? They wait for inspiration.
Well, that's not working.
I got an idea.
So when is someone gonna come by to paint us? No.
We are the painting.
We're gonna have to stand like this at the art competition For five hours.
How long have we been at it? A minute and a half.
Yeah, I'm done.
I got another idea! Well, what do you think? Let me outta here! Oh, stan Stan? You shed.
Do you ever find that it happens when you're feeling guilty about something, Or really stressed out? For me, it's more seasonal.
Why do you ask? Aieee I think I'm feeling guilty about what I did to tyler.
And dad seems to think I should tell him.
Well, I'm no child psychologist, But I believe I said that to you when it happened! Oh, I know.
You're right.
Dad's right.
I guess I'm just gonna have to tell tyler.
Clearly, the guilt is too much for me to handle.
Aieee.
Yeah, speaking from experience, if you keep shedding like that, Your mom's not gonna let you on the couch.
I figured out who destroyed my sculpture! Tyler, I am so sorry Karl fink.
That karl did that to you.
I'm gonna go let him have it right now.
Fine.
Tyler, wait.
I did it.
I broke your sculpture.
What?! Look, it was a terrible thing to do, And I feel awful.
Aieee I can't believe it was you! I don't know what got into me.
I am so sorry.
Is it because you're angry you're losing your hair and I have so much? I didn't realize how much your sculpture meant to you.
Well Thanks for being honest.
You did good, kid.
You're shedding in my kibble, But you did good.
Yeah.
Tyler took that pretty well.
Avery.
Someone ruined your painting.
What is wrong with you? Now we're even.
We're not even.
Mine was unintentional Driven by petty jealousy, Mounting rage, And a painful nose pimple Inside the nostril.
Yours was on purpose.
You started it! Re the pimple, you wanna try some of my cream from the vet? Needy?! I said "Sweetie.
" I picked up you pants.
Where are they? In the river.
By the way, I checked-- The drycleaner's is chemical-free.
So the winking is earned.
Well, of course it is, needy-- Sweetie! Knockety, knockety.
Hi, karl.
Hello, karl.
I wanted you to see the painting before it goes on display, And I have to say I'm rather proud of it, Although I can't take all the credit.
Nature made the masterpiece.
I merely captured it on canvas.
Pay attention, bennett.
You'll see how other people see me.
Voila! Oh, you're as moved as I hoped you'd be.
Can you believe I've never painted before? No.
I let you enjoy it until I take it to the park for judging.
In the meantime, the space station is almost overhead, And I'm going to my roof to wave.
It's my only father/son time.
It's not sad.
I can't believe I was looking to some kid's Horrible painting of me for validation.
I really am needy.
Oh, honey.
No you're not.
Bennett, I'm needy.
Please give me that.
Ellen, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
Even in this horrible painting, Your beauty shines through.
Oh, look at you.
It's like I'm falling in love all over again.
That's you.
I was pointing at that one.
The beautiful one.
My beauty does kind of shine through.
It does! Even karl couldn't help but capture it.
You're just saying all this.
No.
I'm thinking about it very carefully, too.
You really are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
And if you need to hear that again and again, I'm fine with that.
You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
Thanks to you, this horrible painting Karl did of dad and some weird-looking dude Is probably gonna win the contest.
Tyler, I'm done apologizing.
I don't know what else I can say.
But meanwhile, you haven't apologized once for what you did.
What I did was justice.
What you did was stupid.
You're just mad 'cause everyone liked it.
Oh! Ow, you just hit me in my nose pimple! Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! Knock it off! Knock it off! What is going on here? She broke my sculpture! Then he punched my painting! Kids, sit down.
Listen.
You guys are gonna have a lot of relationships in your life.
Friends, romances, Over-attentive drycleaners.
But you're brother and sister now.
The one relationship that you two are always gonna have, Long after you mom and I are both gone, Is each other.
But what if we don't get along? Like you and uncle bob? Exactly.
Now, my brother and I, We haven't spoken in four years.
And that breaks my heart.
You can't let that happen.
You two need each other more than you think you do.
Your sculpture and y-your painting, They can't be fixed.
This can.
You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
Keep it comin'.
Work it out.
I'm sorry I punched your painting.
I'm sorry I broke your sculpture.
It's just I've done art my whole life.
You just started yesterday, And you were this big hit.
Everything comes so easily to you.
Guess I've just always been jealous of that.
You're jealous of me? I've always coveted what you have.
You're smart, driven, focused.
I even learned the word "Coveted" Just so I could keep up with you.
You're gonna be able to do anything you want with your life.
So will you.
I'm glad you're my sister.
I'm glad you're my brother.
Wait, do you think the dude in the painting is uncle bob? Hello, bickering stepsiblings.
I'm here to pick up my masterpiece.
I understand the world has been spared the monstrosities You two call "Art.
" Oh! How delightful! It's like having siblings of my own.
Oh! Mrs.
Jennings! Come to enjoy the victory of our joint artistic creation? Actually, I'm here with chloe.
She's entered something in the competition herself.
Oh! Isn't that cute? The little crimson crumb-snatcher.
Karl, is your mother here? You know, it is so strange we've never met.
Oh, she can't be here now.
This is when she feeds.
That's not frightening.
Ladies and gentlemen, we are prepared To declare a winner.
And the winner is Chole james Why? For her entry, modern art.
No! No, no, no! That's not art.
It's a dog! I just wiped my hands on him.
Next thing I knew, he was this.
Mwah.
Don't look, father! No! Don't look! So, chloe won the art competition, Avery and tyler patched things up, And karl's portrait of bennett and that weird-looking dude Is hanging at the drycleaner's.
So everybody won except me.
Nobody told me that the winning piece of artwork Had to spend a week on display at the pasadena art museum.
How's it goin'? Oh, you're working on your painting for the youth art competition? Yep.
And this is the most exciting part of the process.
The canvas is blank.
All things are possible.
You have no idea what you're gonna paint, do ya? Not a clue.
But that's what I love about it.
That moment when nothing can turn into everything.
You're totally frustrated, aren't you? Completely.
I really wanna impress the youth art judges.
But any moment now, that frustration is gonna turn into inspiration.
Then you know what happens? It builds up inside of you until you can't hold it in any longer, And then-- Youth art! Youth art! They really gotta change that name.
Totally.
So what do you get if you win? I love art for its own sake.
I don't care about the cash prize.
Only the shallowest, Mouth-breathing heathens Care about the $200.
Did someone say "$200"? It has nothing to do with you.
It's about an art competition.
Cool, I'm in.
I was just in a stupid art museum for school.
One display was just a pile of lasagna on top of a bed.
I could do that.
I have done that.
You totally missed the point of the piece.
I did not.
The artist was challenging your expectations By commenting on the nature of art itself.
Oh, that's the point? Yeah, I totally missed that.
People say art is an expression of the artist.
If that's true, I have a dozen one-of-a-kind sculptures in the back yard.
They started out as performance art.
Now they're a permanent installation.
Ohif you'll excuse me, I'm feeling inspired.
Why is everyone bringing their paintings Down here so early if the judging doesn't start till tomorrow? Well, it's good to get some buzz going at the art fair.
The judges will see it.
It'll get under their skin.
It'll really grow on them.
Oh, speaking of stuff getting under your skin and growing, Did you pick up my cream from the vet? Shh.
Here comes one of the judges.
I can't appear too excited.
I'm just gonna look like a tortured artiste.
Ooh Hey, what are they looking at? It just looks like a big pile of trash.
I call my piece big pile of trash.
Intriguing.
So complex.
Found objects turned into art.
I love it.
I like to challenge your expectations By commenting on the nature of art itself.
Very original.
Wonderful work.
Tyler, those are my words.
You stole them.
No I found them and turned them into art.
You can't just slap stuff together and call it art.
Canand did.
I can't believe you're doing this.
Art is my thing! Avery, let's get out of here quick.
I just made an unofficial entry in the art contest.
And that's how mother won the world's strongest man competition.
They tried to take her trophy away.
Karl, every time you come over, I always assume it's to see avery or tyler.
You know, someone closer to your age.
Aren't you close to my age? More tea? Don't move.
The midmorning light is sculpting your dramatic cheekbones like rodin-- The revered french artist, not the flying japanese monster.
No, I've been told that before.
About my dramatic cheekbones.
Not about the flying monster.
I don't mean to put you on the spot, but could I Paint your portrait? I couldn't imagine a more splendid subject.
More lemon cake? Oh, hello, karl.
Sweetheart.
Get out of my midmorning light! Whoa! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get into your-- What? Karl wants to capture my beauty For all of humanity to enjoy throughout eternity.
His words.
It's not weird.
Dr.
James, the way the sweat Glints off your stately brow.
I could paint both of you for the youth art competition.
But he's so sweaty.
We will certainly think about it, karl.
Thanks.
Now I better go let mother out of her hyperbaric chamber.
Too much pure oxygen, and she goes full hulk.
Hmm.
Needy, looking for attachment.
He's just a nice boy who appreciates beauty.
I was talking about you.
Honey, think about his parents.
I mean, mrs.
Fink does nothing but pump iron, And colonel fink is up in the international space station.
Compared to them, we're model parents.
You're a mother who doesn't pull buses with her teeth.
And I'm here.
On earth.
I see what's going on here.
Anytime I get a compliment from anyone else, You dismiss it.
Oh, is this about the drycleaner again? Angelo always winks at me.
He winks at me, too.
The cleaning fumes get in his eyes.
So I guess it's just so implausible That the drycleaner might find me the least bit attractive.
Good to know.
I get why you chose space, fink.
Hey, chloe, whatcha doin'? Avery and tyler are doing art.
I thought maybe I should, too.
What? Just because they're doing something doesn't mean you have to.
You can be original and come up with something completely different.
Come on, chloe.
Think for yourself.
You wanna do art with me? Do I?! This is much better than our first finger-painting.
What should we do now? Pull it.
All this stuff used to have meaning.
Then it became junk.
I'm just giving it a new meaning.
Oh Oh Why is everyone so crazy about this stupid pile of garbage? Well, a more discerning eye might grasp its subtleties, But I just like that it smells like garbage.
It's like he's doing this just to spite me.
He doesn't even care about art, And he's making a fool out of everyone who does.
There's egg salad in there somewhere.
You know, I'd just like to pick this thing up and smash it to the ground! Yeah, but you'd never do that, Because you're decent and moral, And I'm pretty sure you can't lift it.
I know.
You're right.
I would never actually do it.
It just makes me so mad.
Well, artists like you and tyler are very passionate.
He's not an artist! Oh, boy.
Oh, no! What did I do? First, you started ranting and waving your arms.
And then you knocked tyler's sculpture right-- Oh Was that a rhetorical question? I can't believe I did this.
What am I gonna do? You're gonna tell him, right? Maybe it won't be a big deal.
He's just in it for the money.
That's right.
We'll just go home, And we'll tell him that I did it.
Not like he cared about his stupid sculpture.
My sculpture! Wow.
Imagine how upset he'd be if he cared about it.
Tyler, are you okay? No.
Somebody broke my sculpture.
How did this happen? I have no idea.
I was standing over there.
I was looking the other way.
I was actually thinking of the origin of the word "Alibi.
" I believe it's latin.
How would I know what happened? Look at it.
There's egg salad everywhere.
I knew it! Tyler, why are you so upset? I'm sure you can get $200 somewhere else.
This isn't about the money.
I mean, it was when I started, But then I got into it, And I thought it was so cool.
I really felt like I was challenging expectations By commenting on the nature of art.
Seriously? I mean, maybe you can fix it.
I can't fix it! Hey, what do you mean? All the pieces are attached again.
Ooh, it still smells like egg salad.
I think you're good to go.
Are you kidding? Before, it was all smooth and sculpted.
Now it's sticking out all over! It's like the bad hair day of art! Like when we took that family trip to florida.
So much humidity.
Well, um, maybe I can help you.
No! You can't help me.
This isn't my homework.
Or untying the knots on my necklaces with those tiny hands of yours.
Don't feel bad.
Your hands aren't that small.
They fit your body.
Dr.
James, you are an inspiration.
You have a thriving career, A loving family, and the confidence to drive A lavender minivan.
Uh, sorry, I don't know what's keeping mrs.
Jennings! She's been a little, uh-- Well, someday you'll know when you marry a woman.
Or construct one in your lab.
Whatever your thing is.
I'm so sorry to be late.
I just wanted to look nice for your painting.
I can't tell: Is it a lovely woman with a flower in her hair Or a beautiful flower with a woman stuck to it? You are such a dear.
What a lovely thing to say.
Okay, is this about when you Thought I didn't acknowledge your beauty? You're entitled to your opinions.
Honey, no.
No, I'm really not.
Dr.
James, if you could sit here.
And mrs.
Jennings, stand there in any pose that's comfortable.
Ellen, I hope you know how beautiful I think you are.
Well now you're just saying it because you know it's what I want to hear.
Exactly.
Ellen, wait.
Where are you going? To the drycleaner's Where women are appreciated.
You are really bad at this.
Hey, beautiful lady.
Uh, I don't blame you for not picking up.
But I think you're gorgeous.
Please give me the chance to tell you.
And if you're still at the drycleaner's, could you see if my blue pants are ready.
Hey.
Hey, Are you busy? Uh, I'm just apologizing to your mother.
Has she always been this needy? You're probably gonna want to end that call.
Oh! Uh, yeah.
What's up? Um, dad, what I say in here Stays between us, right? Unless it's really interesting, And then I use it in one of my books.
But don't worry, I always change the name.
Wait, I was anxious anne? And lashandra.
Okay, totally confidential.
What's going on? I'm the one who broke tyler's sculpture.
What? I got jealous and I went crazy.
Didn't you ever do something so stupid you wish you could take it back The minute it happened? Did you not just see me drop a phone in the water? Have you told tyler? Well, that's why I'm here.
I'm thinking it's better not to tell him.
He doesn't suspect me.
Why get him all upset? So, you're doing this for his good? Yes! Totally selfless.
I knew you'd understand.
Good talk.
And you won't say a word, right? Of course not, hon.
But I should tell you, People often come to see me as a psychologist Looking for justification for not doing something They know they should do.
Exactly.
That's all I came in here for.
Ahh, lashandra.
What are we gonna do for our art project? I don't know.
What do artists do? They wait for inspiration.
Well, that's not working.
I got an idea.
So when is someone gonna come by to paint us? No.
We are the painting.
We're gonna have to stand like this at the art competition For five hours.
How long have we been at it? A minute and a half.
Yeah, I'm done.
I got another idea! Well, what do you think? Let me outta here! Oh, stan Stan? You shed.
Do you ever find that it happens when you're feeling guilty about something, Or really stressed out? For me, it's more seasonal.
Why do you ask? Aieee I think I'm feeling guilty about what I did to tyler.
And dad seems to think I should tell him.
Well, I'm no child psychologist, But I believe I said that to you when it happened! Oh, I know.
You're right.
Dad's right.
I guess I'm just gonna have to tell tyler.
Clearly, the guilt is too much for me to handle.
Aieee.
Yeah, speaking from experience, if you keep shedding like that, Your mom's not gonna let you on the couch.
I figured out who destroyed my sculpture! Tyler, I am so sorry Karl fink.
That karl did that to you.
I'm gonna go let him have it right now.
Fine.
Tyler, wait.
I did it.
I broke your sculpture.
What?! Look, it was a terrible thing to do, And I feel awful.
Aieee I can't believe it was you! I don't know what got into me.
I am so sorry.
Is it because you're angry you're losing your hair and I have so much? I didn't realize how much your sculpture meant to you.
Well Thanks for being honest.
You did good, kid.
You're shedding in my kibble, But you did good.
Yeah.
Tyler took that pretty well.
Avery.
Someone ruined your painting.
What is wrong with you? Now we're even.
We're not even.
Mine was unintentional Driven by petty jealousy, Mounting rage, And a painful nose pimple Inside the nostril.
Yours was on purpose.
You started it! Re the pimple, you wanna try some of my cream from the vet? Needy?! I said "Sweetie.
" I picked up you pants.
Where are they? In the river.
By the way, I checked-- The drycleaner's is chemical-free.
So the winking is earned.
Well, of course it is, needy-- Sweetie! Knockety, knockety.
Hi, karl.
Hello, karl.
I wanted you to see the painting before it goes on display, And I have to say I'm rather proud of it, Although I can't take all the credit.
Nature made the masterpiece.
I merely captured it on canvas.
Pay attention, bennett.
You'll see how other people see me.
Voila! Oh, you're as moved as I hoped you'd be.
Can you believe I've never painted before? No.
I let you enjoy it until I take it to the park for judging.
In the meantime, the space station is almost overhead, And I'm going to my roof to wave.
It's my only father/son time.
It's not sad.
I can't believe I was looking to some kid's Horrible painting of me for validation.
I really am needy.
Oh, honey.
No you're not.
Bennett, I'm needy.
Please give me that.
Ellen, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
Even in this horrible painting, Your beauty shines through.
Oh, look at you.
It's like I'm falling in love all over again.
That's you.
I was pointing at that one.
The beautiful one.
My beauty does kind of shine through.
It does! Even karl couldn't help but capture it.
You're just saying all this.
No.
I'm thinking about it very carefully, too.
You really are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
And if you need to hear that again and again, I'm fine with that.
You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
Thanks to you, this horrible painting Karl did of dad and some weird-looking dude Is probably gonna win the contest.
Tyler, I'm done apologizing.
I don't know what else I can say.
But meanwhile, you haven't apologized once for what you did.
What I did was justice.
What you did was stupid.
You're just mad 'cause everyone liked it.
Oh! Ow, you just hit me in my nose pimple! Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! Knock it off! Knock it off! What is going on here? She broke my sculpture! Then he punched my painting! Kids, sit down.
Listen.
You guys are gonna have a lot of relationships in your life.
Friends, romances, Over-attentive drycleaners.
But you're brother and sister now.
The one relationship that you two are always gonna have, Long after you mom and I are both gone, Is each other.
But what if we don't get along? Like you and uncle bob? Exactly.
Now, my brother and I, We haven't spoken in four years.
And that breaks my heart.
You can't let that happen.
You two need each other more than you think you do.
Your sculpture and y-your painting, They can't be fixed.
This can.
You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
Keep it comin'.
Work it out.
I'm sorry I punched your painting.
I'm sorry I broke your sculpture.
It's just I've done art my whole life.
You just started yesterday, And you were this big hit.
Everything comes so easily to you.
Guess I've just always been jealous of that.
You're jealous of me? I've always coveted what you have.
You're smart, driven, focused.
I even learned the word "Coveted" Just so I could keep up with you.
You're gonna be able to do anything you want with your life.
So will you.
I'm glad you're my sister.
I'm glad you're my brother.
Wait, do you think the dude in the painting is uncle bob? Hello, bickering stepsiblings.
I'm here to pick up my masterpiece.
I understand the world has been spared the monstrosities You two call "Art.
" Oh! How delightful! It's like having siblings of my own.
Oh! Mrs.
Jennings! Come to enjoy the victory of our joint artistic creation? Actually, I'm here with chloe.
She's entered something in the competition herself.
Oh! Isn't that cute? The little crimson crumb-snatcher.
Karl, is your mother here? You know, it is so strange we've never met.
Oh, she can't be here now.
This is when she feeds.
That's not frightening.
Ladies and gentlemen, we are prepared To declare a winner.
And the winner is Chole james Why? For her entry, modern art.
No! No, no, no! That's not art.
It's a dog! I just wiped my hands on him.
Next thing I knew, he was this.
Mwah.
Don't look, father! No! Don't look! So, chloe won the art competition, Avery and tyler patched things up, And karl's portrait of bennett and that weird-looking dude Is hanging at the drycleaner's.
So everybody won except me.
Nobody told me that the winning piece of artwork Had to spend a week on display at the pasadena art museum.