Foreign Exchange (2004) s01e14 Episode Script

1
(upbeat guitar music)
- Ugh.
Awesome.
- [Meredith] What?
- That is liquid squid thruster.
- Looks like a guy surfing to me.
- No, his board.
If I had one like that, ugh,
I'd win the summer classic for sure.
- Then why don't you get one?
- Do you know how much those things cost?
- Ask dad and Jackie to
get one for your birthday.
- It's months away.
- Well, maybe they'll get it early.
- Eh, maybe.
(light music)
- Ah, there you are Meredith.
You better hurry and get ready
if you're coming with us.
- [Meredith] Oh, OK.
- Where you going?
- We're gonna see a man
about an investment.
- I don't want to say too
much yet mate, but, um,
we could be millionaires
in six months time.
- Excellent.
- Craig.
- We're in on the ground floor sweetheart.
Anything's possible.
- Mom, can I speak to you a bit?
- Of course you can
sweetheart, but later, OK?
We're running a bit late.
- [Brett] Mom, I need to
- This uh, this could
be the big one, mate.
(heavy sighing)
(upbeat music)
- So, is this for the school picnic?
- Yes.
- Oh, but I thought you
were making toffee sauce?
- I am.
- Oh.
Isn't sauce supposed to be, uh, runny?
- Since when are you an expert?
- Just trying to help.
- Well, what are you making.
- I'm setting up the tent.
Sticky toffee, is it
supposed to smell, uh,
burnt rubber?
- It's the taste that counts.
- Oh, no.
I, uh, value my teeth.
(upbeat music)
- [Man] Looks impressive, doesn't it?
- [Craig] Certainly does.
- Ah, this is Michael
O'Connor, fresh from Hawaii.
- I'm so please to meet you.
- [Jackie] This is our daughter Meredith.
- I'm delighted to make your
acquaintance young lady.
- Let's say you're Irish then?
- That I am.
Though I like to think of myself
as being a citizen of
the world these days.
After all, we've got O'Connors
Hotels in 23 countries.
- Soon to be one here, eh?
- Absolutely.
- Why don't we take a look at the plans?
- I think you'll be very impressed.
We've been refining the
layout over many years.
It's tried and true.
Over there will be the
main residential complex
and over here, the shopping mall.
- [Meredith] Where's the water park?
Over that way.
- Doesn't look big enough
to fit all that in.
- Oh, don't you worry about
that, we'll make it fit.
We haven't had a problem yet.
(chuckling)
- It all looks great Michael.
- And you've read the contract?
Yeah, yeah, seems fine.
Just need to check a few things
and we'll be ready to sign.
- Wonderful.
- Michael, if you've just flown in,
you can't have eaten yet.
- (sighing) I'm still
working on Honolulu time.
- Well, I insist you come and
have a bite to eat with us
and you can meet the rest of the family.
- Sounds like an offer too good to refuse.
(upbeat music)
- What are you doing?
- I'm altering the pitch of the fins.
Try and knock a bit more
performance out of this baby.
- What?
On that? (laughing)
That's the stupidest
thing you've done all week
and that's saying something.
- Thank you for the opinion Wayne.
- You're wasting your time, mate.
Just get a new one.
- Oh yeah, where am I
gonna get 500 bucks from?
- You know, you could sell your
brain for medical research.
They pay top dollar for unused ones.
- At least I've got one.
Besides, you'll be spewing
after I win the summer classic.
- Using what?
An ironing board? (laughing)
(upbeat music)
- Seamus, I need you to check
that we have enough hamburgers.
- No problem miss.
- Miss Murphy?
Would you like to sample
the toffee sauce I made?
- Of course, Hannah.
I'm very impressed you're
putting so much effort into this.
- Ha, just a minute.
- A lot of effort, in fact.
- Well, almost there.
- Uh
Not to worry Hannah.
I'm sure you and the sauce will
work things out between you.
I'll leave you to it, Seamus.
- Right you are, Miss Murphy.
- Seamus!
- Ha, don't mind if I do.
Always partial to the odd toffee.
- Ah.
Well, how is it?
- My old dad used to say, if
you can't say something nice,
change the subject.
- So--
- Did I ever tell you
about the time my brother Declan
came within a whisker of
having a number one hit single?
- Is it really that bad?
- How can I put this?
- Ugh, come on Seamus,
you can be honest with me.
- It's that bad.
- [Meredith] What's happening?
- Brett, what are you doing?
- Ironing.
- I know that, I'm just surprised you do.
- Just thought I'd help out, that's all.
- He's done the washing up, too.
- Really?
- And the dusting.
Oh yeah, and the vacuuming.
- Well, that's fabulous.
- Oh, it's not a problem.
I just think it's terrible the way
kids take their parents
for granted these days.
- Now, ask him what he's after.
- Wayne!
- All right, what are you after?
- Can I have $500 to by a new surfboard?
(laughing)
- Yeah sure, buy two.
- OK, I know it sounds like a lot,
but after I win the classic all right,
look, I'll be sponsored by a huge company.
They'll pay me thousands of dollars
to go around the world surfing.
- It's an investment Jackie.
You'll have your money back in no time.
- Look, I'm sorry darling,
but your timing's really terrible.
All of our money's tied up in
the hotel we're investing in.
- But I need a new surfboard this week.
- And we just can't
afford it at the moment.
Now please, put the ironing away.
We've got a guest.
- What a wonderful home you have.
Oh, these must be the kids.
- [Craig] Guys, this is Mr. O'Connor,
our new business partner.
- Please, call me Michael.
We're all friends here.
And you must be Wayne.
- I'm Wayne.
- Ah-ha.
- I'm Brett.
- Good to meet you.
- You're from Ireland?
- Every square inch of me.
- (chuckling) Michael,
can I get you something
to drink before we eat?
- That would be fine.
It's very nice of you to invite me over.
Thanks again.
- O'Connors Hotels.
- Maybe you should just
ask the cook for help.
No, I don't think so.
- Why not?
- Because I've better idea.
(upbeat rock music)
- But I really need a
thruster to be competitive.
- Well, that's not a problem.
I've got contacts with
surfboard makers in Honolulu.
Write down what you need.
I'll get our people to
send one out to you.
- You serious?
- I don't joke when it comes to business
and this would be a good
business deal for us.
- What, you'd sponsor me?
- Why not?
Of course I'd expect you to promote
O'Connors Hotels wherever you went.
- No worries, I'd do that.
That's a deal.
- Done.
- Yeah, yeah sure.
He's gonna give you a
surfboard for nothing?
- He is, that's what he said.
- You are so thick.
As if.
- Wayne, it's called
sponsorship, all right.
All the top sports people get it.
- Yeah, that's my point.
The top sports people.
- Brett!
- Not you.
- Hey Hannah.
- Just looking for your mom.
- Uh, she's in the restaurant.
I'll be up in a sec.
(light music)
Hey mom.
- Hi.
- Jackie, can I ask your
expert advice on toffee sauce?
- Sure, but first we're
treating Michael to dinner.
Would you like to join us?
- Oh, I'd love to.
- I always tell people
the secret to my success
is three things, ambition,
ambition and ambition.
(laughing)
You've always got to be
lookin' ahead, thinkin' big.
Oh, Michael.
Hannah, hi.
That's an unusual Irish accent
you've got there Michael.
What part of Ireland are you from?
- Oh, here and there.
We moved around a bit when I was young.
- Oh, you have a hotel in Golway.
- We certainly do.
- Yeah, yeah I thought I had heard of it.
- To tell you the truth Craig,
ever since I was a
schoolboy, I've always known
I was gonna own hotels.
- What school did you go to?
- St. Gregory's.
- I didn't know there was
a St Gregory's in Golway.
- No, Dublin.
Like I said, we moved around a bit.
- Oh, 'cause I'm from Dublin, too.
But you probably picked
that from my accent.
- Yes, yes, stands out a mile.
- Michael's great isn't he?
- Well
- Well, what?
- Don't you think it was
a bit weird the way he
hedged around some of my questions?
- What questions?
- Well,
just about his accent and
where he came from and that.
- He didn't hedge.
Like he said, he moved around a lot.
- Uh, I don't know.
Something's not quite right about him.
- Hannah, Jackie and
Craig checked him out.
All right, and they're not stupid.
- I know that.
But oh I just wish I knew what it was.
- Don't worry about it.
It's gonna be fantastic for all of us.
- Why?
Because he's giving you a free surfboard?
- No.
I'm sure he's all right.
- Maybe.
See you later.
- See ya.
(light music)
So if I was to ever, say,
go on a holiday to Ireland,
would I be able to stay
in one of your hotels?
- Of course you would.
But it will be awhile before
you get there, won't it?
- Yeah.
- Here, just show this to one of my staff
and they'll look after you.
On the house.
- Wow, wow thanks.
And your hotel in Golway has a waterpark?
- They all do.
It's a trademark.
- Well, if I'm ever
there, I'll check it out.
- So Michael, your company
sponsors a lot of sport?
- Indeed we do Wayne.
- Have I ever told you about my aim
to be a Formula One racing driver?
- Oh no, I don't think
you have. (laughing)
- Giving you a hard
time, are they Michael?
- Oh not at all.
- Jackie and I have talked
about your offer and uh,
we're in.
- Congratulations.
Welcome aboard.
You won't regret it for an instant.
(light guitar music)
- Can I help you sir?
- Hi, I'm a close personal
friend of your boss,
Mr. Michael O'Connor.
He said your staff would look after me.
- Mr. Michael O'Connor?
- Yeah.
He said I could have a
room and use the waterpark
whenever I was in town.
- Did he now?
- Yeah, a room with a
harbor view would be great.
Do you guys have a gym?
- I'm sorry, but Mr. Michael
O'Connor passed away in 1971.
The hotel still bears his name,
but it's owned by a big company now.
- But, I was talkin' to
him in Perth an hour ago.
- In Perth?
- Yeah.
(scoffing) On the phone, of course.
How can I get from Perth
to here in just an hour.
It's silly.
- I'm sorry, I think
someone's having you on, sir.
- So, you don't know a
Mr. Michael O'Connor?
- Not unless he's 120 years old.
I'm sorry sir.
Are you OK there?
- Hey Hannah, remember how I
was suspicious about O'Connor?
- Excuse me?
You mean your new best friend Michael?
I was the one who was suspicious of him.
- OK, one of us was.
I've just come back from
O'Connors Hotels in Galway
and guess what?
- What?
- He doesn't own it.
- No, really Brett?
You shock me.
- OK, so you're right not to trust him.
But he's a fraud Hannah.
He's gonna rip mom and Craig off.
- Well, you better go and warn them
before they sign something.
- Can you come back with me?
They'll believe you
about his Irish accent.
(heavy sighing)
- Well, I might as well.
I'm not doing any good here.
(light music)
- Hi mom.
- Oh, Hannah.
I thought you'd gone home.
- Uh, soon.
- Has Craig gone to bed?
Yeah, he's got an appointment
with the bank in the morning.
- What for?
- Well, we have to borrow some
money to invest with Michael,
so we're getting a loan.
- [Brett] How are you gonna pay for it?
- [Jackie] I'll just have
to work a bit harder.
- Mom, you work too hard already.
(laughing)
- It will be worth it in the end.
- And what if you can't pay it back?
All right, you'll lose the restaurant,
we'll have to move out.
- Sweetheart, don't
worry, that won't happen.
- Are you sure you can trust Michael?
- Oh course, he's a very
rich and successful man.
- Mom, he might not be what he seems.
- What's got into you two?
Why the third degree suddenly?
- I don't think he's Irish, Jackie.
- Of course he is.
- I don't know.
I've never heard an Irish
accent like that before.
- He's been traveling the world for years
and you lose your accent after awhile.
- All right, let's just
ring one of his hotels.
You know, just to check up on him.
- What?
- You've only just met him.
O'Connor might not even be his real name.
- Of course it is.
We've checked his record thoroughly.
Look, it's very sweet of
you both to be concerned,
but don't worry, this is a
golden opportunity for us.
We're going to secure our future.
- She's not going to
believe us without proof.
- We're just gonna have to get
some proof then, aren't we?
- How?
Are you sure this is gonna work?
- Of course it is.
All we have to do is get
the receptionist on video
telling us who the real
Michael O'Connor is.
Then we give the take to Jackie and Craig.
- It sounds simple.
- (sighing) OK, you're
in charge of the camera.
(heavy sigh)
- And where would you be going now?
- Seamus!
- That's meself.
- Well um
- We're doing a video.
- Ah, for media studies?
- Yeah, it's a documentary sort of thing
and, um, I'm helping.
- Oh, what's it about?
- Uh, local identities.
- Well, there's a coincidence.
It just so happens that
I've got an identity.
And I'm local.
- Yeah, and we were gonna
interview you, but um
- Um
Just as soon as we get
some shots of the town.
- [Brett] So, we'll catch you later, eh?
- Yeah bye.
- See ya.
- Any time you're ready.
(upbeat music)
- Excuse me.
Can I help you?
- Hi, were doing a video
for a school project
and I was just wondering
if we could have a word
with the owner, Michael O'Connor.
- I'm afraid you're
about 30 years too late.
- [Hannah] Um, so this isn't him?
- Certainly not.
That's Ben Grace.
- Who?
- Ben Grace, Australian chap.
Worked for awhile here as a dishwasher.
Caught a friend of his, Ryan,
Ryan something or other.
- I knew he wasn't Irish.
- Thieves and beggars, the pair of them.
- And you're sure this is him?
- Oh, absolutely.
But don't take my word for it,
you can ask James McLaughlin,
the builder down the road.
He lost thousands.
- Too right I remember them.
Awful scam artists they were.
They sold this block of land six times.
- Unfortunately, slipped
through our fingers.
Last we heard, they were
heading back to Australia.
- Camera never lies.
Here's your proof for Jackie.
She has to believe us now.
- Just hope it's not too late.
- So, how's it going?
Are you ready for me now?
- Sorry?
- My interview as a local identity.
- Oh yeah, that.
Well, um
- Um
I'll tell you what Mr. McCracken,
you just sit here and
Brett will start the camera
and um, you, you just keep talking.
- Ooo, that sounds simple enough.
- [Hannah] Whenever you're ready.
- Do you want the formal or casual.
- The way that feels natural.
- Short or long?
- Well, we'll leave that
up to you. (chuckling)
Good luck.
- Well now, I suppose you're all wondering
who this handsome fella
is you're staring at.
To tell you the truth, it's a long story.
- Look at that, our whole
future on a little bit of paper.
- (sighing) $300,000.
- Mom, Craig, there's something
you should really see.
- Oh no darling, it will have to wait.
We've got a meeting to go to.
- Mom, its really important, all right.
It will only take a minute.
Just give us a chance to re-queue it.
(phone rings)
- [Craig] Hello.
- What's going on?
- Thanks Wayne, we'll be right up.
Well, they're here.
- Who?
- Michael and Mr. Steel.
- You're not giving them the money now.
- Of course, mate.
Today's the start of our new future.
- I don't get it.
It was working perfectly before.
- Then it must have been the portal.
- Oh, great.
The magnetic field wiped the tape.
- Wait, where are you going.
- To tell them the truth.
- This isn't the time to panic.
- It's the perfect time.
We can't prove a con's a fraud
without telling them about the portal.
- OK, um
You have safe in the restaurant, right?
- Yeah, well, do you
know where the key is?
- Let me guess, you want
to rob Mom and Craig too?
- Just get the key, quickly.
- Ah, thought you guys could use a drink
while you work.
- Thanks.
- You're a champion, Brett.
(groaning)
- Brett!
- Oh sorry, that was an
accident, it was an accident.
- Don't worry about it,
it's only a $2,000 suit.
- We'll take you up to the kitchen,
we'll get you cleaned up.
I'm sorry.
I'm really, really,
really sorry, all right.
Here's the sink here.
Here's a clean cloth for you.
- All right.
- Brett, did you forget
to put last night's
takings in the safe?
- Oh no, no thanks for reminding me.
- [Hannah] Uh huh, OK.
OK, so you can fax me over a
couple of those photos now?
Great, thank you.
- Who was on the phone?
- The police warning
all the local businesses
of a few con men in the area.
Guy by the name of Ben
Grace and his partner.
- And they're faxing over his picture?
- Should have them any minute.
- Excuse me.
Ryan? Ryan?
- Oh, how are the trousers?
- Fine, fine, fine.
- Please, you just send
us the dry cleaning bill--
- Right, right, Ryan, I need
to have a word with you,
in private.
- Now?
- Right now.
- Excuse me.
Be right back.
- Mom, Craig, in about 30 seconds,
there's something I want you both to see.
- You said this would
go off without a hitch.
- Yeah, so what are you on about mate?
They're just about to hand over the check.
It's going like clockwork.
- Then why are the police onto us?
They're faxing our photos right now
through to every business in Perth.
- Eh?
- They're just about to
send one through here.
- Let's get out of here mate, fast!
- I'm not leaving empty handed.
- Then you're on your own, pal.
I'm not going back inside.
I've seen enough of jails.
(Brett clears his throat)
- I know this looks
bad, but I can explain.
Just give me a minute or two.
- While you're explaining that,
you might let us know what
happened to your accent?
- Yep, I knew they were crooks all along.
- That's bull.
- Well, they certainly had
us fooled, that's for sure.
- Why is Michael claiming
you two set him up?
- I don't know.
He must have seen where I
put the key to the safe.
How was I supposed to
know he'd steal from it?
- Brett, you've got to be more careful.
- I will be, in the future.
- Anyway, thanks both of you.
You saved us from making
a terrible mistake.
- It's just a bit of luck.
- Brett, tomorrow, you
and I will go and see
about that new surfboard.
- Excellent.
- Hey, what am I getting?
- More driving lessons.
- Hannah, I don't know what
to get you for a reward.
- Um, actually, there
is something I'd like.
- Ah, what's that?
- Your secret recipe for toffee sauce.
- (chuckling) I can do better than that,
I've got some in the cupboard
and you can help yourself.
- Thanks Jackie.
- You sure you got enough
toffee sauce there?
- Jackie insisted.
Couldn't say no, could I?
- Could you imagine living a double life
like Michael or Ben Grace
or whatever his name was?
- Imagine?
Think about it Brett,
that's exactly what we're doing.
- Nah, it's not.
OK, yeah it is, but we're not crooks.
- Not yet anyway.
- Oh, you coming to the school picnic?
- No, don't think I can handle the pace.
- You mean, you're gonna
spend every spare moment
playing with your new surfboard.
- It's not playing, all right,
surfing's a serious business.
- (scoffing) Sure.
- Yeah, laugh now, but one day
I'm gonna be world champion.
- Uh huh.
And will that be the same day
Wayne becomes a Formula One driver?
- Just wait, I'll make it.
- See ya Brett.
- See ya.
Now, for some serious action.
- Anyway, after she dropped me on me head,
my dear mother thought I
would never be the same again.
But of course, I was
feelin' well in no time.
(chuckling) It takes more
than a knock on the cranium
to stop Seamus McCracken.
Well, that takes us up
to my third birthday.
And this is where the story
really becomes exciting.
(light guitar music)
(whooshing)
(chiming)