Gossip Girl s01e14 Episode Script
113 - The Blair Bitch Project
Gossip Girl Here-- Your One And Only Source Into The Scandalous Lives Manhattan's I Love You, Nate Archibald.
Ways Have, Always Will.
I Love You, Too.
At Is Wrong With You? This Is Not Who You And Those Girls Are, But I Know Who, And I'm Not Gonna Forget That St 'Causehang Out Wit To Talk, Remember? Can't Help Myself.
I Never Should Have Let Yolelet Me Go.
I Will Not Base My Personal Life On Your Preferences.
Dan Is My Boyfriend.
Would Rather Be Chuck's Stepsister Than Dan's.
Ly, Would You Do Me The Honor Of Being My Wife? He Propod D Before We Left, And I'm Going To Say Yes.
Take Care, Rufus.
How Glad Are You To See Our Families Merge, Sis? So Glad Atat If You Ever Call Me That Again, It'll Be The Last Thingu Ever Say, Chuc Unless You Want Ar Nathaniel To Know How You Lost Your Virginity To Me In The Back Of A Moving Vehicle, I Encourage Patienced Restraint.
Isn't You Can Torture? Ok, I Know You're Friendsitith Blair, But If You Know SomethingWell, Blair Really My Friend.
So, Yeah, There's Something You Should Know.
What A Bitch.
Oh, My God.
She Is Such A Slut! Made Aececisionwas In No Condi To Do With You, Blair.
It's Over.
You Held A Certain Fascinatio When You Were Beautiful And Untouche I Don't Want You Anymore, And I Can't Seewhy Anyone Else Would.
What Are You Doing Here? I Was Just Leaving.
No, Stay.
Consider Yourself Dethroned, Queen B.
Jenny, If You Walk Away From Me No I I Will Ruin You.
How Are You Gonna Do That? My Whole Life Falling Stay And Fight.
We'll Get Through This Together.
Promise? Promise.
And Who Am I? That's A Secret I'll Never Tell.
You Know You Love Me.
Cat? Cat! Cat! Cat! Cat.
You Don't Have A Cat, Jenny.
My Name Is Blair.
You Don't Have Anyone.
But I'm Blair.
I'm Blair! Ms.
Blair.
Ms.
Blair.
.
Blair.
Wakey, Wakey, Upper East Siders.
Spring Break Is Done, And I'm Starved For The Dish.
Were You Sunning In Capri Or Sinning In Croatia? Give Me The Deets.
Oh, What's Happening? You Have Bad Dream, D D You're Sleeping With Your Chocolates.
Oh, Lady Godiva, My Only Friend.
And Has Anyone Spotted Our Ex-Queen B.
? Wheredoes The Dethroned Royalty Vacation These Days? Club Bed Is Over.
First Day Back To School.
I Can't, Dorota.
I Don't Elel Very Well.
Serena Come To Get You Soon.
Call Her And Cancel.
And Cover My Mirrors.
M In Mourning Fomymy Former Life.
Uck, I'm Serious! E You Done Yet This Is My Bathroom! It's Late, Anand Not To Mention Disgusting.
Chuck! What Are You Doing? L Right, Ladies.
My Sister Needs To Shower.
Make Room.
I'm Just Msising With You.
Can't Believe You Lit Up My Bathro.
Well, If I Lit Up In Mine, En The Folks Would Know It Was Me, Sis.
, Okay.
Let's Get One Thing Straight-- Our Parents Mabebe Insisting On Blending Our Households, But I Am Not Your Sister.
I Do Not Share Any Of Your D.
N.
A.
, Nododo I Ever Wish To.
Then I Suggest You Get W W Hand Towels.
Okay.
It's Imperative That I Bathe.
Can You Just Get Out? U Know What? Fine.
Just Forget It.
Xt Year, We're Doing Spring Break In Maldives.
Skiing Is Too Dangerous.
You Broke Your A T The Spa.
, Here, Hazel.
Thanks For Letting Me Borrow It.
At Is This?E Bracelet You Lent Me In Aspen? Oh, Yeah.
You Know You Could've Just Kept It, D I Would've Forgot I Had It.
Girls, How Excited Are We? Rty Tomorrow Nightfor Jenny At Sociali I Know! It's Gonna Be My Best Birthday Ever.
I Heard The Mojitos Are Amazing.
Itilill You Get Your Moutharound A Mini Oh, I Don't, Um-- It's A Sandwh.
H.
Oh.
Wardrobe, Ladies? Ferragamo Clutch D Whatever Dress I Buy Today Go With ???????????? Oh, I've Got Some Dresses On Hold At Bendel'ere's An A.
T.
M.
, You Said You Wanted To Hit It.
U Know, To Pay Penelope Back For Brunch? Oh, Uh, Yeah.
$120, Right? Ah, I Don't Feel Like Stopping.
You Can Get The Next One.
What Areouou Doing? I'm Hiding From My Valet.
Wanted To Put My Socks On For Me This Morning.
Ur Servantse Very Atten New Latvian Maid.
No.
No, No, No, He Should Not Meet Brigita.
He's 14.
Avoid This Person.
May I Remind You, Serena, That You Used To Have A Sense Of Humor? No.
- Morning, Father.
- Hey.
- Morning, Kids.
- Morning.
D How Islilily Von Bulow Today? Oh, I Have A Headache.
Had A Very Frustrating Conversation Th The Wedding Planner This Morning.
Ll, May I Say Aggravation Becomes You? You May, But I Won't Believe It.
So First Day Back At School, Huh? Ney, You Didn't, Uh, Want To Shower? I Have To Go Meet Blair.
Eric? You Go Ahead.
'L'll Take The Limo.
As My Best Man, I Expect You To Keep Things Smooth Until The Wedding.
Best Man? Uh, Um, I'd Be Honored, Sir.
To Family.
I Can't Straight From The Airport Take Jenny To School, And She's Already Gone? E Slept At Hazel'sst Night.
Oh.
Who's, Uh, Who's Hazel? R New Friend, The Girl Whose Famil She Went With To Aspen.
Ah, I Was Actually Surprised You Let Her Go D Cancel On Mom Likehahat.
Ll, Your Complete Support Of It.
Nny Was Very Well Taken Care Of.
Spoke To Her Every Day, Twiceom The, Uh Prprivate Plane? It's The Best Early Birthday Present We Er R Could Have Given Her.
Oh, So You Paid For It? Well, I Gave Her Pocket Money.
Yeah, Jenny's Happier Than She's Been In A Long Tim Hey, Whenever You're Done With That "I'd Do Inings Differently" Look, Two Things-- E--I Can't Seem To Nail Jenny Down On What She Wants To Dofor R R Actual Bi I'll Get It Out Of Her.
Good.
And, Uh, Two-- At The Hell Are You Still Doing Here? Mm.
Thank You.
At Least You Get To Wake Up From Your Nightmare.
I'm Living With Mine.
Ank God I Have Plans With Dan Tonight.
Finally, The Return Of Some Normalcy! B.
, What Are You Doing? Giving Homeschooling Some Serious Consideration.
Look, I Know You Think Erybody's Still Talking About You, T Your 3-Week-Old-Scandal Is Ancient News.
D You Even Hear The Dirtat Happened Heard It From? Dorota? Ll, After Much Concerted Effort, Ya Finally Made It Into Brody Jenner's Cell Phone.
, And Kati's Dad Ved Her Entire Family Back To Israel.
Yeah.
And Cotatance's Bad-Girl-Turned-Good Serena Van Der Woodsen Moved In With Chuck Bass.
Yeah.
So You're Thinking Is Whole Thing Could Have Blown Over By Now? Come On.
That, Too.
Don't Worry, B The French Revolution Had Keke.
Come On.
Let's Go.
The American Revolution Had Tea.
T Looks Like The Overthrow Of Blair Waldorf, Well O Said You Need A Silver Spoon To Dole Out Just Desserts? Can't Believe Th.
.
Oh, My God, That Was So Perfect.
At Was So Perfect.
So Funny.
Hey, Jenny.
Can I Talk To You Just For A Second? Up With You Guys, Okay? Hey, So I May Have Told Birir U Told Me The Truth About Heanand Chuck, And I'm Sure She Didn't React Well To That.
T You Don't Know What You're Dealing With Here.
I'm Not Scared Of Blair,Te.
No, M M Not Talking About-- I'm Talkingout Your New Ciriririririr M Talking About Your New Circle.
I Mean, They've Been Friends With Blair Forever, D Look What They're Doing To Her.
U U Fall Out Of Line, At Do You Think's Gonna Happen To You? Ll, Then I Won't Fall Out Of Line.
I'm Not Saying You're Gonna It's Just U're Not Like Those Girls, Jenny.
That's Weird, Nate.
Since They're My Friends, Okay.
Well, I Will Give You This-- You've Got Good Aim.
Can't We Eat Somewhere Else? Ok, I Know This Is Hard For Youb.
B.
, Buyoyou Can't Let Them Beat You.
You're Blair Waldorf, Remember? Ght.
Right.
These Are My Steps, And I'm Not Gogg To Relinquish Them Without A Fight, Though It Would Be Helpful Maybe There Was One More Person In Our Crowd.
Only Old People And Children And-- Ugh, There's Chuck Th A Blond Mini-Chuck.
He T Trying To Torture Me.
.
.
I Can't Believe It.
I Know.
Does Little J.
Actually Think At She's Anything But Eieir Lackey? Hey.
Y.
Hi.
So Since When Does Nate Archibald Have Much To Say To Jenny Humphrey, Hmm? Why? You Guys Don't Like Him? Penelope's Only Dd A Historic Crush On Him Since The 20th Century.
Nce You And Nate Are So Tight, Ybe You N N Broker That.
Yeah.
Maybe.
They At? Ey're Taking Her Out To Dinner For Her Birthday Tomorrow Nig---- Table Service At Socialista.
So Jenny Humphrey Is Officially Being Inscribed On The A-List.
Wait.
Hododo You Know This? Because They Invited Me, Butsaid No Out Of Deference To You.
Just Thought I Could Have Dinner With Her And Dan And The Wholfafamily.
???????? Cause I'm Nice.
You Should Try It Sometime.
Come On.
Um, Compliment Me.
Tell Me My Hair Looks Beautiful.
But Your Hair Looks Disgusting.
Did You Even Shower? B.
, I Say This Out Of Love, But Your Being A Bitch What Got Dairy In Your Hair In The First Place, Okay? Nice And Neutral, And Things Will Swing Back To Normal.
You're The Que B B.
, So Just Let Nature Take Its Course.
M Going To Model U.
N.
, But We're Dining Tonight, Right? Tter, 7:00.
, Um, I Don't Know If I Can Go Out Again Tonight.
Y? What Are You Doing? Do We Have A Reservation? Yeah, Doesn't It Take, Ke, 2 Weeks Get A Table There?T If The MaîTRe D' $100.
Oh, And Don't Forget, J.
-- You Owe Me.
U Know, Veve Got A Better Idea.
At Does She Think She's Doing? ???????????? E's Giving You The Perfect Opportunity For Niceness.
Come On.
No.
S.
Serena, I Know That You're Dog G Something With D T Tonight, But, Blair, Um, We're All Going To Butter, D I Was Wondering You Wanted To Joi Yes! Butter.
Great.
Great! Ve N Nice.
Ank You.
Who's There For You When You're Ldld And Alone? * * The Teenagers, E E Teenagers * * We're Playing Our Songs * Ve You Always Looked This Good? You Look So Good To Me.
You Look So Good To Me, - D You Smell - Mmm, So Clean.
Mm, You're Not Gonna Tell Me The Chuck Shower Story Again, Are You? No.
Good.
Dan.
Uck.
How Are You? Excellent.
Enjoying Having Famy Y Around.
Can Yojujust Get It Over With, Chuck? Y Whatever Pervy Thing You're Gonna Say And Just Leave? The Wedding Caterer Is Presenting A Tasting To The Family.
I Was Coming Call You To Dinner.
Okay, I'll Take Off Then.
No Need.
Already Asked The Staff To Set A Place For You.
*Ou And I, Loining Like You Never Cried * I Have To Y Y I Prefer The Chestnut Pappardelle.
Yeah, The Foie Gras Is A Bit Rich.
U Know, I'm--I'm, Uh Slanting Heavily Towards The Venison Fellow.
It's Fallow.
Fallow.
Fallow, Exactly.
Fallow.
Oh, For Me? Ank You.
O's It From? I Don'knknow But It Says "Open Immediately.
" I Have To Refrigerate It?, It's Not I Don't Know.
.
Oh, Don't Put Your Dtyty Package On The Table.
I Had A Dimefor Every Time I Heard Th That's Enough, Chuck.
Porn And Handcuffs? Really? Oh, My.
W.
This Is Low, Chuck, Enen For You.
What? I Didn't Send This.
Excuse Me.
Uh, Could You Oh, Yeah.
My Pleasure.
Uh, It's Not--That's Not What I-- I Didn't Mean That.
It's, Uh It's Trash.
I'll Throw It Out.
Spotted--Blair Waldorf, Alone At Butter.
I'm Sorry, Miss, T It--It Looks Like Your Friends Aren't Coming.
Humiliated--Party Of One.
Can't You Just Picture Her Sitting There? Every Time Memeone Comes In The Door H It's Not Them.
Ooh, No, Not Them.
" Not Going To Butter Ch Better Thanoioing To Butter.
New Nanette Lepore For Jenny's Birthday.
Gorgeous.
Right? What's The Birthday Girl Wearing? Oh, I'm Still Deciding Between O O Dresses At Bergdorf's.
I Thought You Said Bendel's.
Bendel's.
Right.
Oh, It's My Dad.
Is,Rere Youwearing Your Black Hello? Which One?U Know, I Never Wear The Same Thing Twice.
Mommy Taught Me Well.
Hey, Dad.
You Missed Dinner, Kiddo.
Oh, Yeah, I'm Studying At Hazel's, And I Guessi Lost Track Of Time.
Um, I'm Not Mad.
I Just Feel Like I Haven't Seen You In A While.
We Haven't Evediscussed Your Do Something With My Friends Oh.
That's Great, Honey.
But Since I Have Nothing To Wear, Don't Think That's Happening Anymore.
Well, If You Want To Be With Your Friends, We Can Do The Family Thing Over The Weekend.
Sweetheart? Uh, Yeah.
I'll Be Home Soon, Dad.
Okay.
Bye.
* You Drive Me Crazy * Llo? Hi.
Oh, No Check, Honey.
The Drink's On Us, Unless You Want Something Else? Yes.
Another Bellini, E Seared Squab, And A Bus Person Toepeparate The Tables, Please.
One May Be The Loneliest Number Information.
What City And State, Please? Ooklyn.
I Think That's In New York.
But Sometiss Only The Lonely Can Play.
Wake Up, Little Jenny.
The Bitch Is I Thought You Said You Didn't Have Anything Else.
Well, I Found Sometutuff In The Back Of My Closet.
-Hmm.
Do You Want To Go With Cash Again, Or Do You Want To Bu Your Sewing Machine Back? Neither.
I Want That Dress.
Hohoney, This Is $1,200.
Ll, This One's Quite Lovely.
Ah, Well, That's More My Color.
I I Say We Take The Jet To Croatia, Where Young Eric Here N Exploit The Lesser Age Of Consent-- M Invited The Bachelor Brother, Please.
D Then Head West To Monte Carlo For Some All-Night Cards At Metropole, En Swing By Giza St To Watch The Sun Come Up Over The Pyramids.
At Do You Think, Father? I Think We're Here.
Uh, See You At Home, Bart.
Chuck Will Catch Up In A Minute.
You Almost Ruined Things Between Me And Lily Once Before.
I'm Not Gonna Let That Happen Again.
At Are You Talking About?M Talking Ab Stunt You Pulled At Dinner.
Didn't Send Serena That Package, And Quite Frankly, R Violated Virgin Mary Act Is Getngng Pretty Old.
Thought Making You My Best Man Would Help.
What Is That Supposed To Mean? Inspire You To Valuey Y Happiness Ove Your Own Childish Agenda.
Things Seem To Be Working Out For You At That Club, Victrola.
I'm Thinking You Might Like Me To Invest More In The Place, So You Can Have Momore Control? In Exchange For Good Behavior, Of Course.
You're Bribing Me? So We Have A Deal Then? Hey, Why Aren't You School I'm Taking The Morning Off.
Volunteering To Help Those Less Fortunate Than Myself.
Wow.
You're In A Good Mood.
Tter With The Girls Must Have Gone Well Last Night? I Didn't Go, Actuall For My Forgiveness.
Hey, Dan's Not Hanging Out In Brooklyn Again This Morning.
'S Wityoyouat School, Right?, No, No But He'll Be Here Soon.
Why? Just Tell Him I Say Hi.
Okay.
Hi.
Nny's Dad? We Met Briefly At Thanksgiving.
Ah, Ye.
.
Hi.
Got Reree Cases Of Champagne For Serena Van Der Woodsen.
.
No, No.
I-I'm Serena Van Der Woodsen, But Those Aren't Mine.
Ll, The Purchase Order Never Lies.
Salud.
Y, Guys, I Just Got This Incredible Dolce.
- You Wanna See? - It's Unbelievable.
You Can't Turn Your Back Your Own Hou Talking About? Mother'vavalentino Was Stolen.
Oh, My God.
It Was Made Especially For Her.
It Was The Same Year He Did, Uh, Jackie O.
'S Lace Wedding Mini.
Ll, Did Someone Break In?Noanand The Ma Swore To The Police At She Didn't Take It,T She'll Prob Wait, Police For A Dress? 'S Worth, Li, , $15,000.
My Mother Told I If She Returned It, Ey Could Work Something Out.
Like She'll Bring It Back.
Well, You Never Know.
I Mean, It Could Turn Up.
Ght, 'Cause Really, Where Is She Gonna Arar It? I'm Really Glad, Because When I Spoke To Her, E Mentioned The Plans With The Girls Falling Through.
Ll You The Truth,I Didn't Really Bel Why?.
Thought She Was Just Conflicted Out Oooosing Friends Over Family.
Ll, You Know That's The Biggest Struggle With A Girl Her Age.
Memory Doesn't Serve Yiying To Reconcile Who You're Becoming With Who You Used To Be.
E's Beenununning Herself Ragged, Mr.
Humphrey.
Ddddling Two Worlds?Ll, I Know She Wa Running Herself Ragged Trying To Get Into One Of Those Wldlds-- Picking Up Dry Cleining, Gowns For Masked Balls Ll, It's No Easier Once You're In.
She Needs Some Relief.
Ll, Then That's What Shshe'll Get.
Whatever I Can Do To Help.
Oh, Thank God.
Betty? Hi.
Excuse Me.
Um Uld You Pardon Me For A Moment, Plea?? I Need To Trade Back All Right, You Can Keep The Scarf And The Shoes, I'm Sorry, Buthahat'sst Not Gonna Be Po What? Why? U Know, When You Leave Here With An Item, You're Agreeing To Its Value.
The Dolce Sold At $1,200.
The Valentino Is Seven Times That.
Easelolook, This Has Sentimental Value, And I Didn't Realize-- No, I'm Sorry.
A Couple Of Hours Ago, This Dress Was Mine, All Right? Doesn't Even Have Tags On It Yet.
Look, It's Not My Fault That You Don't Kww What A Valentino's Worth.
Hello? Nate, It's Jenny.
At's Going On?Listen, I Wouldn't Be Calling You I H A Anyone Else To Turn To, But I Made A Mistake, And I Need To Fix It, D I Really Need Borrososome Money.
I Jenny, Just Slow Down.
I Promise I'll Pay You Back.
Is Everything Okay? Ah, I Just-- I Madea Mistake, And I Nee Well, How Much? ,000.
$8,000? Jenny, What Do You Need That Kind Of Money For? You Know What? Forget It.
M Sorry E The Price Of Fitting In Might Have Gotten A Little Steeper But Little J.
Still Knows 'S What's Underneath That Counts.
Well, We Coulpuput This One On A Mylar Tablecloth And Pretend It's A Bar Mitzvah.
Oh, There You Are.
I Have A Date With Dan.
Could You Excuse Us? You're Gonna Say Something Worse Thanhehe Bar Mitzvah Remark? Rena, I Think We Should Talk About Any Feelings You Might Be Having About My Upcoming Marriage.
Ay, But You're Asking Me This Now Because Cause I Got A Call From Your Headmistress O Said That There Was Something About A Case Of Alcohol? Well, I Thought You May Be Acting Out.
Ght, Mom.
I Actually Woke Up This Morning, And I Thought, Mm.
I'm A Little Uncertain About My Mother's Wedding.
"Why Don't I Invite The Entire Junior Asass Out To The Courtyardfor A Champagne Toas Things Like Thisefefore.
Obviously, Chuck's Master Plan Is Working.
Can't Believe You Think Chuck Is Doing Thesehihings.
Looking Good To Everyone In My Life Isn't Enough For Him.
He Has To Make Me Look Bad Or Cra.
.
Ll, Chuck May Be Eccenicic, But I Doubt He's Diabolical.
What's He Done Now? I'll Tell You What He's Done.
Surprise! Wow.
Happy Birthday, Jenny.
Um, Dad, I Ca--I Can't Believe You Did All This.
And, Uh, Blair's Here.
This Is So Great That All Of You Are Here In My House.
, , I Should Go Change.
Uh, You Got It? Okay.
Don'ththink She Was Surprised.
What's Blair Doing Here? I Don't Know.
This Party's Kinda Weird.
Eird"? It's Time For Its Induction To The Birthday Hall Of Lame.
So Not What I Pictured En The Guy On The Phoneid "Loft Pa We Gave Up Our Table For This.
Mint Mojitos At Socialista, Mint Milanos With Jenny's Dad.
He's Kind Of A Hottie.
Yeah, A Hottie Dad.
How Long Do We Have To Stay? Rice Krispie Treats? You Can't Believehow Mad Bart Was Yes, I Can, 'Cause You've Told Me About Three Times.
Wonder What They're Gonna Do To Him.
Sh Could See His Face.
Hey, You Know What? I've Got Some Stories, Too, Uh, About Seeing My Mother For The First Time Since She Left At Christmas.
I'm The Worst Girlfriend.
, You're Not.
No, You're Not.
D There's The Funny Visit To My Grandma At The Old Folks' Home-- Two Women, A Sponge Bathd A Bedpan.
You're Right.
I Wanna Be Here Right Now With You.
And--And Nate.
What? Hey, Guys.
Y.
Y.
Sorry To Interrupt.
Your Mom Told Me You Guys Were Here.
N I Speak With You For One Second, Dan? Uh, Yeah.
Yeah, Sure.
All Right.
Okay.
Y, So Have You Spoken With Your Sister At L L Today? , No.
Why? What'wrwrong?I Don't Know She Just Called Me.
E Was Really Freaked Out, Didn't Know Where To Turn.
She Asked To Borrow $8,000.
What? Why? Yeah, I Don't Know.
I Tried To Get Her Tell Me What Was Going On, But She Wouldn't Say Anything.
Ease? Dad, Just Get Out, Oka I Need To Change! Ney, Can't You Tell Mewhat's Goi Just Leave! Y Are You Crying? Are You Upset About The Party?No, I'm No Talk About This Later, Okay? Really Just Need To Get Out Of This Dress.
Uhh, It's Stuck! Okay, All Right.
Just Help Me, Okay? Help Me Get It Off.
Nny,U Have To Calm Down.
No, Hurry Up.
D You Get It I Need A Pair Of Pliers.
Dad Sorry.
Sorry.
We Were Just Looking For Our Wraps.
I'll Get Them.
Oh, My God.
That's My Mother's Dress.
, You Guys, I Got Th At--At Resurrection.
Remember, I Was Telling You Out The Really Great Dressbought?R Mo One-Of-A-Kind Valentino At Jt T Happened Disappear From Her And Forgotten Or Something.
Are You Calling Myauaughter A Thief? Well-- Excuse Me.
This Feelsririvate, So I'm Gonna Head Out Now.
I Have A Table At Butter.
Servation's Under Waldorf, In Case There's An After Party.
Otted-- Jenny In A Red Dress With The Red Hands To Match.
Is The Name On The Label.
Blair Said They Told You The Original Party Had Faenen Through That They Could Surprise You With A Better One.
Blair's A Liar.
You Got Played.
She Also Said That You Were Afraid E Girls Wouldn't Accept Everything Aboutouou.
Like You Had Nothing To Be Ashamed Of.
Was That A Lie, Too? Where Did U U Get E Dress? And I Know You Didn't Make It, Cause Your Sewing Machine Is Gone.
U Have No Idea How Hard It Is, Dad.
I Sold My Sewing Machine, Okay? What?Ah, And A Lamp And Some Jewelry.
Why? Because I Had To.
D, You Think That You Can Just Send Me Off To School Th A Plaid Skirt And A Metrocard, And Everything Will Be Okay.
I Am Not Apologizing For Not Having A Private Plane For You, Jenny.
U Think I'm Ashamed Of Where I Come From? No, Dad, What I A Ashamed Of Having To Bring A Brown-Bag Ncnch To School, D, You Know, Eat It In The Bathroom, And Then Go Out With My Friends And Pretend That I'm Not Hungry When I Go To Lunch With Them.
U Don't Have To Do Those Things, Jenny.
You're Making A Choice.
Why D Don't You Get? Do You Want Me To Choose To Have No Friends? Ll, Clearly, I Mean, That's Not Even A Choice Anymore, Because That's Just Done.
I Should Probably Get Back.
Well, Thank You For Staying With Me Ile I Hid Outfrom My House Of Horrors.
Oh, No Problem.
, Do You Think Jennyll Be All Right? Yeah, Dan's A Good Guy.
He'll Take Care Of Her.
U Are, Too, You Know, A Good Guy-- A Forgiving Guy Who Can't Pit Himself Against Blair Forever.
Good Night.
M Sorry You Gave Me An Opening.
Couldn't Resist.
I'm Just Saying.
How Are You Doing, Man? Night.
Hey.
Hey.
Where Have You Been? Therapy.
For Four Hours? , Well, Before I Was--I Was Playing Wii Tennis With Chuck At This Guy Named Brantfthth's House? Y Are You Hanging Out With Him? Brantforth? Chuck Is Fun, Okay? He's Cool To Me, And He Doesn't Treat Me Like Some Freak At Just Out The Ostroff Center.
Who Treats You Like That? , Guys At St.
Jude's, The Girls At Constance, A At The Korean Deli On 75th Street.
Eric And He's Not--He's Not Always Caref A Around Me, Like--Like One Bad Thing, And I'll Break Or Something.
Besides, I Always Wanted A Brother.
I'm Trying It Out, You Know? Here.
At's This? Uck Said It Came For Y This Morning.
Thought You Might Want To Open It Out Of The House, Just In Case.
Y Didn't He Bring It To Me Himself? Cause He Thought You Wanted Him To Stay Away From You.
Is That Coke? How Do You Like A Brother Who Usesouou As A Drug Mule? Serena, I.
Hey.
Who Turned 12? Oh, Please Don't Rub It In.
Dad, What Happened? Hey.
You Okay? You Wanna Tell Me Why You Needed To Borrow $8,000? Not Really.
H, I Can't Believe Nate Told You.
Well, He Was Worried About You, At You Might Be Turning Into Some Hideous Upper Et T Cyborg.
He Said That? No.
No, I Did.
Just Got In Way Over My Head.
U Know, I Thought I Could Trade The Dress D Wear It That Night And Return It, But Just Look, Uh It's Your Birthday, I Think We Should Get Some Ice Cream, And C Can Talk About All This Stuff Later, Okay? Okay.
I'll Just Let Dad Know What We're Gonna Do.
Jen,Ouou--You Have So Much More To Offer Than The Things That Those Girls Have, Really.
U've Got So Much More To Bring To The Table.
You Just Need To Find A Way To Believe That.
What The Hell Is Your Problem? Specify The Context.
You Disgust Me, Chuck.
How Dare You Involve Eric In Something Like This? No Wonder You're Friendless And Girlfriendless.
En Your Own Fatherpects The Worst From Well, You Saw To That.
Listen, If We're Gonna Exist Under The Same Roof, I Am Laying Downme House No Need, Princes Bart Already Kicked Me Out.
What? I'm Moving Back To My Suite.
Bart Thought It Would Be Best There's A Line Outside.
U Ready To Give Up You're Table Yet? No.
My Party's Coming.
They're Coming! These Seats Taken? Any Good General Knows U Never Let Your Soldiers See You Sweat.
Look's Like Thisatattle's Ending At Butter, And The Win Belongs To B.
Victory Is Sweet.
?? I-I Know, Dad, But Is,S, You Know, It's Her Birthday,D I Kind Of Promised .
Ll, Since You Don The Decisions Around Here, E'll Just Ha T To Take Thatth A Gr So What Are You Gonna Do? Are You Just Gonna Keep Her Locked Up? I Don't Know.
St Week, Aspen.
This Week, Prison? Yeah, Well, Spring Break Is Over For Everyone, Including Mylflf.
Really Took My Eyes Off The Ball.
, So--So Wtt Do You Want To Do? Why Don't We Just Celebrate 15 Th Some Jenny Cake In The Kitchen? Ay.
All Right.
I'll Go Tell Her.
So, Jen, W-- She's Gone.
What? She's Not In There.
She's Gone.
Y.
I'm Sorry For Calling You Like That Earlier.
I'm So Embarrassed.
Anan, It Was Stupid And-- And Inappropriate-- No, No, No, No.
Listen, I'm Just Glad You're Okay.
Yeah.
Um, Okay, Well, I Do Have A Favor To Ask You.
I Mean, It's Not Money, But I Just Really Don't Want To Be Alone On My Birthday.
Oh, For Me? Thank You.
Oh, My God.
What's Wrong? Nothing.
I'll Be Back.
Kylie Minogue's "Rippin' Up The Disco" Excuse Me.
Cuse Me! I'm Going To The Bar.
What? Bar! We'll Be Rightacack.
Metallically Reflecting Your * Where Are All The Hot Guys? I-I Don't Know.
, They Don't Exactly Servetea And Cupcak Is This Really Happening? Penepepe, You Know Nate, Right? Of Course.
Hi.
Hi.
Uh, How Are You? He Kills' "Sour Cherry" Hazel, I Think Maybe Your Mom D Give Away That Valentino.
Yeah, She Is Always Cleaning Out Her Closet, And That Ativancan Really Play With Her Me *Hout When You Wanna Get Off The Ride * *Houthehen You Wanna Get Off The Ride * *Hout When You Wanna Get Off The Ride * *Ake My Heart Beat Double-Time * On Your Fruit Stand, The Onlright? *Herry * *M I The Only Sour Cherry On The Fruit Stand? * Hey.
I'm Really Sorry, Chuck.
Know It Wasn't You Who Sent Me That Stuff.
Never Thought I'd Say This, T It Turns Out Chuck Bass Is Innocent.
Who D Nd S.
All Those Naughty Gifts? Why Don't I Make You A Drink?
Ways Have, Always Will.
I Love You, Too.
At Is Wrong With You? This Is Not Who You And Those Girls Are, But I Know Who, And I'm Not Gonna Forget That St 'Causehang Out Wit To Talk, Remember? Can't Help Myself.
I Never Should Have Let Yolelet Me Go.
I Will Not Base My Personal Life On Your Preferences.
Dan Is My Boyfriend.
Would Rather Be Chuck's Stepsister Than Dan's.
Ly, Would You Do Me The Honor Of Being My Wife? He Propod D Before We Left, And I'm Going To Say Yes.
Take Care, Rufus.
How Glad Are You To See Our Families Merge, Sis? So Glad Atat If You Ever Call Me That Again, It'll Be The Last Thingu Ever Say, Chuc Unless You Want Ar Nathaniel To Know How You Lost Your Virginity To Me In The Back Of A Moving Vehicle, I Encourage Patienced Restraint.
Isn't You Can Torture? Ok, I Know You're Friendsitith Blair, But If You Know SomethingWell, Blair Really My Friend.
So, Yeah, There's Something You Should Know.
What A Bitch.
Oh, My God.
She Is Such A Slut! Made Aececisionwas In No Condi To Do With You, Blair.
It's Over.
You Held A Certain Fascinatio When You Were Beautiful And Untouche I Don't Want You Anymore, And I Can't Seewhy Anyone Else Would.
What Are You Doing Here? I Was Just Leaving.
No, Stay.
Consider Yourself Dethroned, Queen B.
Jenny, If You Walk Away From Me No I I Will Ruin You.
How Are You Gonna Do That? My Whole Life Falling Stay And Fight.
We'll Get Through This Together.
Promise? Promise.
And Who Am I? That's A Secret I'll Never Tell.
You Know You Love Me.
Cat? Cat! Cat! Cat! Cat.
You Don't Have A Cat, Jenny.
My Name Is Blair.
You Don't Have Anyone.
But I'm Blair.
I'm Blair! Ms.
Blair.
Ms.
Blair.
.
Blair.
Wakey, Wakey, Upper East Siders.
Spring Break Is Done, And I'm Starved For The Dish.
Were You Sunning In Capri Or Sinning In Croatia? Give Me The Deets.
Oh, What's Happening? You Have Bad Dream, D D You're Sleeping With Your Chocolates.
Oh, Lady Godiva, My Only Friend.
And Has Anyone Spotted Our Ex-Queen B.
? Wheredoes The Dethroned Royalty Vacation These Days? Club Bed Is Over.
First Day Back To School.
I Can't, Dorota.
I Don't Elel Very Well.
Serena Come To Get You Soon.
Call Her And Cancel.
And Cover My Mirrors.
M In Mourning Fomymy Former Life.
Uck, I'm Serious! E You Done Yet This Is My Bathroom! It's Late, Anand Not To Mention Disgusting.
Chuck! What Are You Doing? L Right, Ladies.
My Sister Needs To Shower.
Make Room.
I'm Just Msising With You.
Can't Believe You Lit Up My Bathro.
Well, If I Lit Up In Mine, En The Folks Would Know It Was Me, Sis.
, Okay.
Let's Get One Thing Straight-- Our Parents Mabebe Insisting On Blending Our Households, But I Am Not Your Sister.
I Do Not Share Any Of Your D.
N.
A.
, Nododo I Ever Wish To.
Then I Suggest You Get W W Hand Towels.
Okay.
It's Imperative That I Bathe.
Can You Just Get Out? U Know What? Fine.
Just Forget It.
Xt Year, We're Doing Spring Break In Maldives.
Skiing Is Too Dangerous.
You Broke Your A T The Spa.
, Here, Hazel.
Thanks For Letting Me Borrow It.
At Is This?E Bracelet You Lent Me In Aspen? Oh, Yeah.
You Know You Could've Just Kept It, D I Would've Forgot I Had It.
Girls, How Excited Are We? Rty Tomorrow Nightfor Jenny At Sociali I Know! It's Gonna Be My Best Birthday Ever.
I Heard The Mojitos Are Amazing.
Itilill You Get Your Moutharound A Mini Oh, I Don't, Um-- It's A Sandwh.
H.
Oh.
Wardrobe, Ladies? Ferragamo Clutch D Whatever Dress I Buy Today Go With ???????????? Oh, I've Got Some Dresses On Hold At Bendel'ere's An A.
T.
M.
, You Said You Wanted To Hit It.
U Know, To Pay Penelope Back For Brunch? Oh, Uh, Yeah.
$120, Right? Ah, I Don't Feel Like Stopping.
You Can Get The Next One.
What Areouou Doing? I'm Hiding From My Valet.
Wanted To Put My Socks On For Me This Morning.
Ur Servantse Very Atten New Latvian Maid.
No.
No, No, No, He Should Not Meet Brigita.
He's 14.
Avoid This Person.
May I Remind You, Serena, That You Used To Have A Sense Of Humor? No.
- Morning, Father.
- Hey.
- Morning, Kids.
- Morning.
D How Islilily Von Bulow Today? Oh, I Have A Headache.
Had A Very Frustrating Conversation Th The Wedding Planner This Morning.
Ll, May I Say Aggravation Becomes You? You May, But I Won't Believe It.
So First Day Back At School, Huh? Ney, You Didn't, Uh, Want To Shower? I Have To Go Meet Blair.
Eric? You Go Ahead.
'L'll Take The Limo.
As My Best Man, I Expect You To Keep Things Smooth Until The Wedding.
Best Man? Uh, Um, I'd Be Honored, Sir.
To Family.
I Can't Straight From The Airport Take Jenny To School, And She's Already Gone? E Slept At Hazel'sst Night.
Oh.
Who's, Uh, Who's Hazel? R New Friend, The Girl Whose Famil She Went With To Aspen.
Ah, I Was Actually Surprised You Let Her Go D Cancel On Mom Likehahat.
Ll, Your Complete Support Of It.
Nny Was Very Well Taken Care Of.
Spoke To Her Every Day, Twiceom The, Uh Prprivate Plane? It's The Best Early Birthday Present We Er R Could Have Given Her.
Oh, So You Paid For It? Well, I Gave Her Pocket Money.
Yeah, Jenny's Happier Than She's Been In A Long Tim Hey, Whenever You're Done With That "I'd Do Inings Differently" Look, Two Things-- E--I Can't Seem To Nail Jenny Down On What She Wants To Dofor R R Actual Bi I'll Get It Out Of Her.
Good.
And, Uh, Two-- At The Hell Are You Still Doing Here? Mm.
Thank You.
At Least You Get To Wake Up From Your Nightmare.
I'm Living With Mine.
Ank God I Have Plans With Dan Tonight.
Finally, The Return Of Some Normalcy! B.
, What Are You Doing? Giving Homeschooling Some Serious Consideration.
Look, I Know You Think Erybody's Still Talking About You, T Your 3-Week-Old-Scandal Is Ancient News.
D You Even Hear The Dirtat Happened Heard It From? Dorota? Ll, After Much Concerted Effort, Ya Finally Made It Into Brody Jenner's Cell Phone.
, And Kati's Dad Ved Her Entire Family Back To Israel.
Yeah.
And Cotatance's Bad-Girl-Turned-Good Serena Van Der Woodsen Moved In With Chuck Bass.
Yeah.
So You're Thinking Is Whole Thing Could Have Blown Over By Now? Come On.
That, Too.
Don't Worry, B The French Revolution Had Keke.
Come On.
Let's Go.
The American Revolution Had Tea.
T Looks Like The Overthrow Of Blair Waldorf, Well O Said You Need A Silver Spoon To Dole Out Just Desserts? Can't Believe Th.
.
Oh, My God, That Was So Perfect.
At Was So Perfect.
So Funny.
Hey, Jenny.
Can I Talk To You Just For A Second? Up With You Guys, Okay? Hey, So I May Have Told Birir U Told Me The Truth About Heanand Chuck, And I'm Sure She Didn't React Well To That.
T You Don't Know What You're Dealing With Here.
I'm Not Scared Of Blair,Te.
No, M M Not Talking About-- I'm Talkingout Your New Ciriririririr M Talking About Your New Circle.
I Mean, They've Been Friends With Blair Forever, D Look What They're Doing To Her.
U U Fall Out Of Line, At Do You Think's Gonna Happen To You? Ll, Then I Won't Fall Out Of Line.
I'm Not Saying You're Gonna It's Just U're Not Like Those Girls, Jenny.
That's Weird, Nate.
Since They're My Friends, Okay.
Well, I Will Give You This-- You've Got Good Aim.
Can't We Eat Somewhere Else? Ok, I Know This Is Hard For Youb.
B.
, Buyoyou Can't Let Them Beat You.
You're Blair Waldorf, Remember? Ght.
Right.
These Are My Steps, And I'm Not Gogg To Relinquish Them Without A Fight, Though It Would Be Helpful Maybe There Was One More Person In Our Crowd.
Only Old People And Children And-- Ugh, There's Chuck Th A Blond Mini-Chuck.
He T Trying To Torture Me.
.
.
I Can't Believe It.
I Know.
Does Little J.
Actually Think At She's Anything But Eieir Lackey? Hey.
Y.
Hi.
So Since When Does Nate Archibald Have Much To Say To Jenny Humphrey, Hmm? Why? You Guys Don't Like Him? Penelope's Only Dd A Historic Crush On Him Since The 20th Century.
Nce You And Nate Are So Tight, Ybe You N N Broker That.
Yeah.
Maybe.
They At? Ey're Taking Her Out To Dinner For Her Birthday Tomorrow Nig---- Table Service At Socialista.
So Jenny Humphrey Is Officially Being Inscribed On The A-List.
Wait.
Hododo You Know This? Because They Invited Me, Butsaid No Out Of Deference To You.
Just Thought I Could Have Dinner With Her And Dan And The Wholfafamily.
???????? Cause I'm Nice.
You Should Try It Sometime.
Come On.
Um, Compliment Me.
Tell Me My Hair Looks Beautiful.
But Your Hair Looks Disgusting.
Did You Even Shower? B.
, I Say This Out Of Love, But Your Being A Bitch What Got Dairy In Your Hair In The First Place, Okay? Nice And Neutral, And Things Will Swing Back To Normal.
You're The Que B B.
, So Just Let Nature Take Its Course.
M Going To Model U.
N.
, But We're Dining Tonight, Right? Tter, 7:00.
, Um, I Don't Know If I Can Go Out Again Tonight.
Y? What Are You Doing? Do We Have A Reservation? Yeah, Doesn't It Take, Ke, 2 Weeks Get A Table There?T If The MaîTRe D' $100.
Oh, And Don't Forget, J.
-- You Owe Me.
U Know, Veve Got A Better Idea.
At Does She Think She's Doing? ???????????? E's Giving You The Perfect Opportunity For Niceness.
Come On.
No.
S.
Serena, I Know That You're Dog G Something With D T Tonight, But, Blair, Um, We're All Going To Butter, D I Was Wondering You Wanted To Joi Yes! Butter.
Great.
Great! Ve N Nice.
Ank You.
Who's There For You When You're Ldld And Alone? * * The Teenagers, E E Teenagers * * We're Playing Our Songs * Ve You Always Looked This Good? You Look So Good To Me.
You Look So Good To Me, - D You Smell - Mmm, So Clean.
Mm, You're Not Gonna Tell Me The Chuck Shower Story Again, Are You? No.
Good.
Dan.
Uck.
How Are You? Excellent.
Enjoying Having Famy Y Around.
Can Yojujust Get It Over With, Chuck? Y Whatever Pervy Thing You're Gonna Say And Just Leave? The Wedding Caterer Is Presenting A Tasting To The Family.
I Was Coming Call You To Dinner.
Okay, I'll Take Off Then.
No Need.
Already Asked The Staff To Set A Place For You.
*Ou And I, Loining Like You Never Cried * I Have To Y Y I Prefer The Chestnut Pappardelle.
Yeah, The Foie Gras Is A Bit Rich.
U Know, I'm--I'm, Uh Slanting Heavily Towards The Venison Fellow.
It's Fallow.
Fallow.
Fallow, Exactly.
Fallow.
Oh, For Me? Ank You.
O's It From? I Don'knknow But It Says "Open Immediately.
" I Have To Refrigerate It?, It's Not I Don't Know.
.
Oh, Don't Put Your Dtyty Package On The Table.
I Had A Dimefor Every Time I Heard Th That's Enough, Chuck.
Porn And Handcuffs? Really? Oh, My.
W.
This Is Low, Chuck, Enen For You.
What? I Didn't Send This.
Excuse Me.
Uh, Could You Oh, Yeah.
My Pleasure.
Uh, It's Not--That's Not What I-- I Didn't Mean That.
It's, Uh It's Trash.
I'll Throw It Out.
Spotted--Blair Waldorf, Alone At Butter.
I'm Sorry, Miss, T It--It Looks Like Your Friends Aren't Coming.
Humiliated--Party Of One.
Can't You Just Picture Her Sitting There? Every Time Memeone Comes In The Door H It's Not Them.
Ooh, No, Not Them.
" Not Going To Butter Ch Better Thanoioing To Butter.
New Nanette Lepore For Jenny's Birthday.
Gorgeous.
Right? What's The Birthday Girl Wearing? Oh, I'm Still Deciding Between O O Dresses At Bergdorf's.
I Thought You Said Bendel's.
Bendel's.
Right.
Oh, It's My Dad.
Is,Rere Youwearing Your Black Hello? Which One?U Know, I Never Wear The Same Thing Twice.
Mommy Taught Me Well.
Hey, Dad.
You Missed Dinner, Kiddo.
Oh, Yeah, I'm Studying At Hazel's, And I Guessi Lost Track Of Time.
Um, I'm Not Mad.
I Just Feel Like I Haven't Seen You In A While.
We Haven't Evediscussed Your Do Something With My Friends Oh.
That's Great, Honey.
But Since I Have Nothing To Wear, Don't Think That's Happening Anymore.
Well, If You Want To Be With Your Friends, We Can Do The Family Thing Over The Weekend.
Sweetheart? Uh, Yeah.
I'll Be Home Soon, Dad.
Okay.
Bye.
* You Drive Me Crazy * Llo? Hi.
Oh, No Check, Honey.
The Drink's On Us, Unless You Want Something Else? Yes.
Another Bellini, E Seared Squab, And A Bus Person Toepeparate The Tables, Please.
One May Be The Loneliest Number Information.
What City And State, Please? Ooklyn.
I Think That's In New York.
But Sometiss Only The Lonely Can Play.
Wake Up, Little Jenny.
The Bitch Is I Thought You Said You Didn't Have Anything Else.
Well, I Found Sometutuff In The Back Of My Closet.
-Hmm.
Do You Want To Go With Cash Again, Or Do You Want To Bu Your Sewing Machine Back? Neither.
I Want That Dress.
Hohoney, This Is $1,200.
Ll, This One's Quite Lovely.
Ah, Well, That's More My Color.
I I Say We Take The Jet To Croatia, Where Young Eric Here N Exploit The Lesser Age Of Consent-- M Invited The Bachelor Brother, Please.
D Then Head West To Monte Carlo For Some All-Night Cards At Metropole, En Swing By Giza St To Watch The Sun Come Up Over The Pyramids.
At Do You Think, Father? I Think We're Here.
Uh, See You At Home, Bart.
Chuck Will Catch Up In A Minute.
You Almost Ruined Things Between Me And Lily Once Before.
I'm Not Gonna Let That Happen Again.
At Are You Talking About?M Talking Ab Stunt You Pulled At Dinner.
Didn't Send Serena That Package, And Quite Frankly, R Violated Virgin Mary Act Is Getngng Pretty Old.
Thought Making You My Best Man Would Help.
What Is That Supposed To Mean? Inspire You To Valuey Y Happiness Ove Your Own Childish Agenda.
Things Seem To Be Working Out For You At That Club, Victrola.
I'm Thinking You Might Like Me To Invest More In The Place, So You Can Have Momore Control? In Exchange For Good Behavior, Of Course.
You're Bribing Me? So We Have A Deal Then? Hey, Why Aren't You School I'm Taking The Morning Off.
Volunteering To Help Those Less Fortunate Than Myself.
Wow.
You're In A Good Mood.
Tter With The Girls Must Have Gone Well Last Night? I Didn't Go, Actuall For My Forgiveness.
Hey, Dan's Not Hanging Out In Brooklyn Again This Morning.
'S Wityoyouat School, Right?, No, No But He'll Be Here Soon.
Why? Just Tell Him I Say Hi.
Okay.
Hi.
Nny's Dad? We Met Briefly At Thanksgiving.
Ah, Ye.
.
Hi.
Got Reree Cases Of Champagne For Serena Van Der Woodsen.
.
No, No.
I-I'm Serena Van Der Woodsen, But Those Aren't Mine.
Ll, The Purchase Order Never Lies.
Salud.
Y, Guys, I Just Got This Incredible Dolce.
- You Wanna See? - It's Unbelievable.
You Can't Turn Your Back Your Own Hou Talking About? Mother'vavalentino Was Stolen.
Oh, My God.
It Was Made Especially For Her.
It Was The Same Year He Did, Uh, Jackie O.
'S Lace Wedding Mini.
Ll, Did Someone Break In?Noanand The Ma Swore To The Police At She Didn't Take It,T She'll Prob Wait, Police For A Dress? 'S Worth, Li, , $15,000.
My Mother Told I If She Returned It, Ey Could Work Something Out.
Like She'll Bring It Back.
Well, You Never Know.
I Mean, It Could Turn Up.
Ght, 'Cause Really, Where Is She Gonna Arar It? I'm Really Glad, Because When I Spoke To Her, E Mentioned The Plans With The Girls Falling Through.
Ll You The Truth,I Didn't Really Bel Why?.
Thought She Was Just Conflicted Out Oooosing Friends Over Family.
Ll, You Know That's The Biggest Struggle With A Girl Her Age.
Memory Doesn't Serve Yiying To Reconcile Who You're Becoming With Who You Used To Be.
E's Beenununning Herself Ragged, Mr.
Humphrey.
Ddddling Two Worlds?Ll, I Know She Wa Running Herself Ragged Trying To Get Into One Of Those Wldlds-- Picking Up Dry Cleining, Gowns For Masked Balls Ll, It's No Easier Once You're In.
She Needs Some Relief.
Ll, Then That's What Shshe'll Get.
Whatever I Can Do To Help.
Oh, Thank God.
Betty? Hi.
Excuse Me.
Um Uld You Pardon Me For A Moment, Plea?? I Need To Trade Back All Right, You Can Keep The Scarf And The Shoes, I'm Sorry, Buthahat'sst Not Gonna Be Po What? Why? U Know, When You Leave Here With An Item, You're Agreeing To Its Value.
The Dolce Sold At $1,200.
The Valentino Is Seven Times That.
Easelolook, This Has Sentimental Value, And I Didn't Realize-- No, I'm Sorry.
A Couple Of Hours Ago, This Dress Was Mine, All Right? Doesn't Even Have Tags On It Yet.
Look, It's Not My Fault That You Don't Kww What A Valentino's Worth.
Hello? Nate, It's Jenny.
At's Going On?Listen, I Wouldn't Be Calling You I H A Anyone Else To Turn To, But I Made A Mistake, And I Need To Fix It, D I Really Need Borrososome Money.
I Jenny, Just Slow Down.
I Promise I'll Pay You Back.
Is Everything Okay? Ah, I Just-- I Madea Mistake, And I Nee Well, How Much? ,000.
$8,000? Jenny, What Do You Need That Kind Of Money For? You Know What? Forget It.
M Sorry E The Price Of Fitting In Might Have Gotten A Little Steeper But Little J.
Still Knows 'S What's Underneath That Counts.
Well, We Coulpuput This One On A Mylar Tablecloth And Pretend It's A Bar Mitzvah.
Oh, There You Are.
I Have A Date With Dan.
Could You Excuse Us? You're Gonna Say Something Worse Thanhehe Bar Mitzvah Remark? Rena, I Think We Should Talk About Any Feelings You Might Be Having About My Upcoming Marriage.
Ay, But You're Asking Me This Now Because Cause I Got A Call From Your Headmistress O Said That There Was Something About A Case Of Alcohol? Well, I Thought You May Be Acting Out.
Ght, Mom.
I Actually Woke Up This Morning, And I Thought, Mm.
I'm A Little Uncertain About My Mother's Wedding.
"Why Don't I Invite The Entire Junior Asass Out To The Courtyardfor A Champagne Toas Things Like Thisefefore.
Obviously, Chuck's Master Plan Is Working.
Can't Believe You Think Chuck Is Doing Thesehihings.
Looking Good To Everyone In My Life Isn't Enough For Him.
He Has To Make Me Look Bad Or Cra.
.
Ll, Chuck May Be Eccenicic, But I Doubt He's Diabolical.
What's He Done Now? I'll Tell You What He's Done.
Surprise! Wow.
Happy Birthday, Jenny.
Um, Dad, I Ca--I Can't Believe You Did All This.
And, Uh, Blair's Here.
This Is So Great That All Of You Are Here In My House.
, , I Should Go Change.
Uh, You Got It? Okay.
Don'ththink She Was Surprised.
What's Blair Doing Here? I Don't Know.
This Party's Kinda Weird.
Eird"? It's Time For Its Induction To The Birthday Hall Of Lame.
So Not What I Pictured En The Guy On The Phoneid "Loft Pa We Gave Up Our Table For This.
Mint Mojitos At Socialista, Mint Milanos With Jenny's Dad.
He's Kind Of A Hottie.
Yeah, A Hottie Dad.
How Long Do We Have To Stay? Rice Krispie Treats? You Can't Believehow Mad Bart Was Yes, I Can, 'Cause You've Told Me About Three Times.
Wonder What They're Gonna Do To Him.
Sh Could See His Face.
Hey, You Know What? I've Got Some Stories, Too, Uh, About Seeing My Mother For The First Time Since She Left At Christmas.
I'm The Worst Girlfriend.
, You're Not.
No, You're Not.
D There's The Funny Visit To My Grandma At The Old Folks' Home-- Two Women, A Sponge Bathd A Bedpan.
You're Right.
I Wanna Be Here Right Now With You.
And--And Nate.
What? Hey, Guys.
Y.
Y.
Sorry To Interrupt.
Your Mom Told Me You Guys Were Here.
N I Speak With You For One Second, Dan? Uh, Yeah.
Yeah, Sure.
All Right.
Okay.
Y, So Have You Spoken With Your Sister At L L Today? , No.
Why? What'wrwrong?I Don't Know She Just Called Me.
E Was Really Freaked Out, Didn't Know Where To Turn.
She Asked To Borrow $8,000.
What? Why? Yeah, I Don't Know.
I Tried To Get Her Tell Me What Was Going On, But She Wouldn't Say Anything.
Ease? Dad, Just Get Out, Oka I Need To Change! Ney, Can't You Tell Mewhat's Goi Just Leave! Y Are You Crying? Are You Upset About The Party?No, I'm No Talk About This Later, Okay? Really Just Need To Get Out Of This Dress.
Uhh, It's Stuck! Okay, All Right.
Just Help Me, Okay? Help Me Get It Off.
Nny,U Have To Calm Down.
No, Hurry Up.
D You Get It I Need A Pair Of Pliers.
Dad Sorry.
Sorry.
We Were Just Looking For Our Wraps.
I'll Get Them.
Oh, My God.
That's My Mother's Dress.
, You Guys, I Got Th At--At Resurrection.
Remember, I Was Telling You Out The Really Great Dressbought?R Mo One-Of-A-Kind Valentino At Jt T Happened Disappear From Her And Forgotten Or Something.
Are You Calling Myauaughter A Thief? Well-- Excuse Me.
This Feelsririvate, So I'm Gonna Head Out Now.
I Have A Table At Butter.
Servation's Under Waldorf, In Case There's An After Party.
Otted-- Jenny In A Red Dress With The Red Hands To Match.
Is The Name On The Label.
Blair Said They Told You The Original Party Had Faenen Through That They Could Surprise You With A Better One.
Blair's A Liar.
You Got Played.
She Also Said That You Were Afraid E Girls Wouldn't Accept Everything Aboutouou.
Like You Had Nothing To Be Ashamed Of.
Was That A Lie, Too? Where Did U U Get E Dress? And I Know You Didn't Make It, Cause Your Sewing Machine Is Gone.
U Have No Idea How Hard It Is, Dad.
I Sold My Sewing Machine, Okay? What?Ah, And A Lamp And Some Jewelry.
Why? Because I Had To.
D, You Think That You Can Just Send Me Off To School Th A Plaid Skirt And A Metrocard, And Everything Will Be Okay.
I Am Not Apologizing For Not Having A Private Plane For You, Jenny.
U Think I'm Ashamed Of Where I Come From? No, Dad, What I A Ashamed Of Having To Bring A Brown-Bag Ncnch To School, D, You Know, Eat It In The Bathroom, And Then Go Out With My Friends And Pretend That I'm Not Hungry When I Go To Lunch With Them.
U Don't Have To Do Those Things, Jenny.
You're Making A Choice.
Why D Don't You Get? Do You Want Me To Choose To Have No Friends? Ll, Clearly, I Mean, That's Not Even A Choice Anymore, Because That's Just Done.
I Should Probably Get Back.
Well, Thank You For Staying With Me Ile I Hid Outfrom My House Of Horrors.
Oh, No Problem.
, Do You Think Jennyll Be All Right? Yeah, Dan's A Good Guy.
He'll Take Care Of Her.
U Are, Too, You Know, A Good Guy-- A Forgiving Guy Who Can't Pit Himself Against Blair Forever.
Good Night.
M Sorry You Gave Me An Opening.
Couldn't Resist.
I'm Just Saying.
How Are You Doing, Man? Night.
Hey.
Hey.
Where Have You Been? Therapy.
For Four Hours? , Well, Before I Was--I Was Playing Wii Tennis With Chuck At This Guy Named Brantfthth's House? Y Are You Hanging Out With Him? Brantforth? Chuck Is Fun, Okay? He's Cool To Me, And He Doesn't Treat Me Like Some Freak At Just Out The Ostroff Center.
Who Treats You Like That? , Guys At St.
Jude's, The Girls At Constance, A At The Korean Deli On 75th Street.
Eric And He's Not--He's Not Always Caref A Around Me, Like--Like One Bad Thing, And I'll Break Or Something.
Besides, I Always Wanted A Brother.
I'm Trying It Out, You Know? Here.
At's This? Uck Said It Came For Y This Morning.
Thought You Might Want To Open It Out Of The House, Just In Case.
Y Didn't He Bring It To Me Himself? Cause He Thought You Wanted Him To Stay Away From You.
Is That Coke? How Do You Like A Brother Who Usesouou As A Drug Mule? Serena, I.
Hey.
Who Turned 12? Oh, Please Don't Rub It In.
Dad, What Happened? Hey.
You Okay? You Wanna Tell Me Why You Needed To Borrow $8,000? Not Really.
H, I Can't Believe Nate Told You.
Well, He Was Worried About You, At You Might Be Turning Into Some Hideous Upper Et T Cyborg.
He Said That? No.
No, I Did.
Just Got In Way Over My Head.
U Know, I Thought I Could Trade The Dress D Wear It That Night And Return It, But Just Look, Uh It's Your Birthday, I Think We Should Get Some Ice Cream, And C Can Talk About All This Stuff Later, Okay? Okay.
I'll Just Let Dad Know What We're Gonna Do.
Jen,Ouou--You Have So Much More To Offer Than The Things That Those Girls Have, Really.
U've Got So Much More To Bring To The Table.
You Just Need To Find A Way To Believe That.
What The Hell Is Your Problem? Specify The Context.
You Disgust Me, Chuck.
How Dare You Involve Eric In Something Like This? No Wonder You're Friendless And Girlfriendless.
En Your Own Fatherpects The Worst From Well, You Saw To That.
Listen, If We're Gonna Exist Under The Same Roof, I Am Laying Downme House No Need, Princes Bart Already Kicked Me Out.
What? I'm Moving Back To My Suite.
Bart Thought It Would Be Best There's A Line Outside.
U Ready To Give Up You're Table Yet? No.
My Party's Coming.
They're Coming! These Seats Taken? Any Good General Knows U Never Let Your Soldiers See You Sweat.
Look's Like Thisatattle's Ending At Butter, And The Win Belongs To B.
Victory Is Sweet.
?? I-I Know, Dad, But Is,S, You Know, It's Her Birthday,D I Kind Of Promised .
Ll, Since You Don The Decisions Around Here, E'll Just Ha T To Take Thatth A Gr So What Are You Gonna Do? Are You Just Gonna Keep Her Locked Up? I Don't Know.
St Week, Aspen.
This Week, Prison? Yeah, Well, Spring Break Is Over For Everyone, Including Mylflf.
Really Took My Eyes Off The Ball.
, So--So Wtt Do You Want To Do? Why Don't We Just Celebrate 15 Th Some Jenny Cake In The Kitchen? Ay.
All Right.
I'll Go Tell Her.
So, Jen, W-- She's Gone.
What? She's Not In There.
She's Gone.
Y.
I'm Sorry For Calling You Like That Earlier.
I'm So Embarrassed.
Anan, It Was Stupid And-- And Inappropriate-- No, No, No, No.
Listen, I'm Just Glad You're Okay.
Yeah.
Um, Okay, Well, I Do Have A Favor To Ask You.
I Mean, It's Not Money, But I Just Really Don't Want To Be Alone On My Birthday.
Oh, For Me? Thank You.
Oh, My God.
What's Wrong? Nothing.
I'll Be Back.
Kylie Minogue's "Rippin' Up The Disco" Excuse Me.
Cuse Me! I'm Going To The Bar.
What? Bar! We'll Be Rightacack.
Metallically Reflecting Your * Where Are All The Hot Guys? I-I Don't Know.
, They Don't Exactly Servetea And Cupcak Is This Really Happening? Penepepe, You Know Nate, Right? Of Course.
Hi.
Hi.
Uh, How Are You? He Kills' "Sour Cherry" Hazel, I Think Maybe Your Mom D Give Away That Valentino.
Yeah, She Is Always Cleaning Out Her Closet, And That Ativancan Really Play With Her Me *Hout When You Wanna Get Off The Ride * *Houthehen You Wanna Get Off The Ride * *Hout When You Wanna Get Off The Ride * *Ake My Heart Beat Double-Time * On Your Fruit Stand, The Onlright? *Herry * *M I The Only Sour Cherry On The Fruit Stand? * Hey.
I'm Really Sorry, Chuck.
Know It Wasn't You Who Sent Me That Stuff.
Never Thought I'd Say This, T It Turns Out Chuck Bass Is Innocent.
Who D Nd S.
All Those Naughty Gifts? Why Don't I Make You A Drink?