How to Rock (2012) s01e14 Episode Script

113 - How to Rock a Basketball Team

Wow.
What a game.
- Yeah.
- Whoo! Basketball.
We were down by 13, But then we cut the lead to 2.
Then, with time running out, I passed it to Lena for a three-pointer.
Nothing but net.
Ball game.
Ugh! Guys, we were supposed to start rehearsal ten minutes ago.
Can't move.
Too tired.
What happened to you? Running happened to us.
What were you running from? Bears? - Zander made us do cross-country.
We ran, like, five miles this morning.
Since we all have to do a sport as a part of gym class, I thought it'd be cool to something together.
- It was an evil thought.
- Guys.
You don't have to do a sport; You just have to let them think you're doing a sport.
I am on the badminton team.
We don't have a badminton team.
I know that, But the school doesn't know that.
It's something I came up with when I was a perf.
That's exactly the type of diabolical plan I need to come up with.
Look, guys, I called for an early morning rehearsal.
Because we have a gig at the dance on Friday.
I've already printed up the flyers, And we need to be ready.
It says "appearing this Friday: Gravity 5," But there's a huge picture of you on it.
Yeah, what's up with that? I'm pretty sure it was Zander's idea.
I'm more sure that it wasn't.
Molly's coming, and she's really mad.
Molly's here, and she's furious.
Told you Principal kersee just discovered That your badminton team isn't real.
He's making us all join actual sports.
I tried joining the Quidditch team, But it turns out we don't have one.
And now I may have to sweat.
I blame you.
I have to join a real sport.
What am I gonna do? Join my basketball team.
I'm team Captain, so it's no problem.
And the school championship is coming up.
It'll be awesome.
Interesting.
I've never done a team sport before.
Wait, would you actually have to do anything? Um, play basketball.
Yeah, what the heck.
I'm in.
Come on, guys.
Let's rehearse.
You heard the lady.
Let's move.
Ugh.
? Only You Can Be You ? ? only I can be me ? ? you always want to be what you're not ? ? can't you be happy with what you've got? ? ? you're perfect the way you are ? ? with your insecurities, flaws, and scars ? ? your life's too short to worry ? ? don't you know it's true ? ? Only You Can Be You ? ? only I can be me ? ? Only You Can Be You ? ? only I can be me ? ? Only You Can Be You ? ? only I can be me ? ? Only You Can Be You ? ? only I can be me ? ? I can be me ?.
Hey, Kacey.
Hey.
Wet nails here.
Come on.
You're part of the team.
And I'm supporting the team.
Team colors.
Whoo! If you're gonna be a screaming viking, You kinda have to play.
What's a screaming viking? Screaming vikings! I'm sure I'll get used to that.
Guys, this is Kacey.
She's never played before, But she's a part of the team now, So let's all be supportive.
- Hey.
- What's up? Stevie, I appreciate what you're trying to do, But I don't know about this.
Look, I know you can do it.
You've shot a basketball before.
No.
Oh, um, well, you've dribbled a basketball before.
I have not.
You know what a basketball is.
That's a basketball.
Correct.
Now here's all you need to know.
Line up your fingers, bend your knees, And always remember to Whoo! Follow through.
- Wow.
A three-pointer.
- No, it was a two-pointer, but, still, you have some skills.
Come on.
No extra point for style? No.
? show me your moves with the music ? ? oh, I love how you do it ? ? everybody move with the music ? ? yeah, yeah, I love how you do it ?.
Can we be done? We ran eight miles this morning.
Fine by me.
I want to get in a little Psh! Boo! Psh! Court time.
You guys should see her out there.
She's awesome.
At what? Basketball.
Basketball the sport? Yes.
Stevie and I are like the dynamic duo.
Like Dwayne Wade and That other guy that he plays with.
Let's hit the gym.
We still have all the basics to go over.
Oh, excuse me, ladies.
We just ran eight miles today.
We could use a little help with the snacks.
Get off your lazy butts, losers.
You could have just said "no.
" Now what are we gonna do? Stand up? That won't be necessary.
I anticipated this very predicament.
I present to you, the personal feedbags.
I'll admit, I'm intrigued.
It's not just snacks without getting up; It's snacks without using your hands.
Let's go in.
Amazing.
I knew you'd think so.
Hey, Stevie.
Good luck today.
Not that you'll need it.
I'm sure you'll be great.
That's not how you spell your name, is it? That is the least of my problems.
Hey, Kacey.
We're Stevie's number one fans.
Actually, I'm number one.
Samir's number two, and Eric's number three.
Good to know, Andy.
Go sit in the stands.
Molly.
Kacey.
- Stevie.
- Yeah, I don't do that.
What are you wearing? Our basketball costumes.
Thanks to you, we had to find another sport to play, So we decided to form a basketball team: The perf army.
How's the weather up there? They love it when you ask them that.
I Hope you win today.
- Really? - Of course.
If you lose, we won't get to obliterate you.
In the championship.
Oh, oh, we're going to make it to the championship, And we're gonna crush you and your army of giraffes.
You're lucky they can't hear you up there.
Let's go, Kacey.
We have a game to play.
? ? That was excellent.
It was.
But how are we going to refill the bags? The snacks are all the way over there.
What we need is a system.
That allows us to get unlimited snacks.
Without ever getting off the couch.
That's a crazy dream.
Crazy dream? Really? This man's going to make it a crazy reality.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I can do this.
I can create a device that will place a snack in your mouth.
The moment you want it without ever moving a muscle.
Make it happen, and I want it by tomorrow.
You'll have it by Friday.
Tomorrow is Friday.
Then we're agreed.
Give me some digits, baby.
Yeah.
Kacey.
Wide open here.
Oh, I got this.
Whoo! You were awesome, Kacey.
You keep making those shots, The school championship is ours.
You know it is! Screaming vikings! Screaming vikings! Oh, great, here he comes.
Hey, Kacey.
I'm your number one fan.
Samir and Eric are fighting over who's number two.
Wow.
It's like I took care of your groupie problem.
So that was some game.
Oh, I know, right? We make such a great team.
I barely touched the ball.
Well, you didn't have to.
Thanks to all of your awesome training, I am a one-woman wrecking crew.
Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking.
Oh! Screaming vikings! Screaming vikings! Whoo! Let's do it! Screaming vikings! I think I've got it.
The problem was the intake valve.
Soon we'll snack like kings.
Snack kings.
Here that, kid? We're going regal.
How did you guys get our couch in the gym? We're in the gym? You guys must be doing great.
You're really drawing a crowd.
Kacey's drawing a crowd.
Whoo! Go Kacey! What time is it? Nothing? So be it.
It's Kacey Simon.
Time! And the rest of the screaming vikings.
This is ridiculous.
Gentlemen, may I present the crowning achievement.
Of my life's work? The snackinator 3,000.
Why 3,000? Well, the 2,000 sounded wimpy, And the 4,000 was just unrealistic.
- That's good logic.
I like that - Smart, smart, smart.
So you just turn it on, Select your snack of choice and speed of delivery, And voila.
Whoosh! A crazy dream come true.
Let's have it go warp speed.
No! The snackinator 3,000 must never go warp speed.
Then why did you put a warp speed button the remote? Okay, in retrospect, it was a bad idea.
Now set your phasers to "snack.
" Whoosh! It's raining snacks! Ah! Hey.
Hey, Stevie.
Congrats.
I hear the screaming vikings.
Are gonna play The Perfs in the finals.
Not my screaming vikings; Kacey's screaming vikings.
But, you know what, it's cool.
Whatever.
I'm fine.
Hey, guys.
Let's rehearse.
Oh, oh, we ran six miles today.
We're too tired.
Yeah, do we have to get off the couch? Whoa! Guess we do.
? ? ? I was born with a rare heartbeat ? ? it controls the way I move my feet ?.
Hang on a second.
Something's off.
I thought we sounded great.
Ah, I can't hear myself.
Can you guys just try to play a little bit more quietly? Or maybe we just shouldn't play at all.
Come on, Stevie.
You know that's not what she's saying.
No, I think it makes perfect sense.
The problem with Gravity 5.
Is that gravity 4 keeps drowning out gravity 1.
The whole world is the Kacey Simon show, And there's just no room for anybody else.
Whoa.
Where did that come from? Oh, I don't know.
Maybe it's from you taking over the basketball team.
You're the one who wanted me to play in the first place, And we're winning.
No, you're winning.
It is all about you, And now Andy Bartlet is your super fan.
You're upset because I stole Andy Bartlet? Yeah.
Yeah, that's why I'm upset.
Not because you completely took over my team.
It's not my fault.
I didn't set out to be amazing.
It just happened.
And now we're playing the school championship against The Perfs, And my team Captain hates me.
Sounds like somebody needs a special delivery.
From the snackinator 3,000.
Beep! No.
I don't need a snack.
Chicks do not dig the snackinator.
Interesting.
What is that? Doesn't sound good.
That, my friends, is warp speed.
This is it, people: The school championship.
We've got the towering trees of the perf army.
Against the stubby but scrappy screaming vikings.
My bad.
Which team will give the other.
An old school beat down? I don't think so.
Got it! She loves retrieving things.
Oh, hi, Stevie.
It's so good to see you.
Are you here to watch the game? What are you talking about? I'm playing.
Really? You're still on the team? Oh, I just thought with the way Kacey's replaced you, You wouldn't bother showing up anymore.
Got it.
Got it! Nice try with the mind games, but I'm still team Captain.
Of course you are.
All I'm saying is, a good team Captain.
Would keep a ball hog like Kacey out of the game.
Thank you, Molly.
Kacey, I need to talk to you.
No, I need to talk to you.
I didn't mean to take over the team, And I'm really sorry if I upset you.
I appreciate that.
So you're the Captain.
If you want to bench me, you can.
That's fine.
About two minutes ago, That's exactly what I would have done, But after talking to Molly, The only thing that matters right now is destroying her.
So you want me to do my thing? Oh, yeah.
Make it stop! Those banana nut muffins.
Feel like walnut-studded rocks.
It's gotta run out eventually, right? Right? Oh! I should have known this was gonna happen.
Just like in frankenstein, The monster always turns on its creator.
We've got to destroy it.
Wait.
If anyone Ah! If anyone should do this, it should be me.
I started this, and I'm gonna finish it.
It's the only way.
Enough! It's done.
Sorry, dude.
I can't believe it's gone.
It was too good for this world! Perf army up by one.
And in the biggest surprise ever, I'm actually into this game.
Even though I don't score or pass or dribble.
Or whatever else you do with that ball.
That totally clashes with my outfit, I'm still gonna beat you.
Hmm.
Ooh.
Didn't see that coming.
Oh, wait.
I did.
- Time-out.
Guys, Molly's got them triple-teaming me now.
Somebody else has to get the ball.
No, no.
You take the ball.
But there's gonna be three people on me.
Exactly.
Screaming vikings on three.
One, two, three.
Screaming vikings! ? ? - Nice shot! - Great pass.
- Hey, we're a team.
- Yeah, we are.
Let's pick up our queen.
Oh, guys, that's not necessary.
Not you.
Stevie! Oh, that's not necess Actually, take me to Molly.
Great game, Molly.
Well, aren't you a good sport? Actually, I meant I played a great game.
I think that was a burn.
Got it! Congratulations.
You won something I don't care about.
- She so cares.
- Totally cares.
? ? ? I was born with a rare heartbeat ? ? it controls the way I move my feet ? ? everywhere there's a melody ? ? and it takes over me ? ? 'cause what's the world just got a lot ? ? to do with how you rock? ? ? your body's got a way to tell if something's hot ? ? so if you feeling it coming on ? ? don't you turn it off ? ? it's natural, you can't fight it ? ? I love how you do it ? ? don't you want you to lose it ? ? I want to say oh, oh ? ? 'cause you're so perfect ? ? I love how you do it ? ? don't want you to lose it ? ? tonight we're going oh, oh ? ? to the music ? ? show me your moves with the music ? ? oh, I love how you do it ? ? everybody move with the music ? ? yeah, yeah ? ? I love how you do it ?.
Ladies and gentlemen, I want to do something.
That I've never done onstage before.
I want to introduce you guys to the team, One that I'm very, very proud to be a part of.
On drums, give it up for Kevin reid! Whoo! And on keyboards, you know him, you love him, Nelson Baxter.
Whoo! And on keytar, the one and only, Mr.
Zander Robbins, people! And on bass is the girl who shot the winning basket.
For the screaming vikings today, And she also taught me the value of teamwork.
My great friend, Stevie Baskara! Whoo! And together, we are Gravity 5.
? I love how you do it ? ? don't you want you to lose it ? ? I want to say oh, oh ? ? 'cause you're so perfect ? ? I love how you do it ? ? don't want you to lose it ? ? tonight we're going oh, oh ? ? to the music ? ? show me your moves with the music ? ? oh, I love how you do it ? ? everybody move with the music ? ? yeah, yeah ? ? I love how you do it ? I guess I'm kind of happy that Kacey won, Because I want her to be in a really good place.
When I take her down.
You are so honorable.
Uh, I'm sorry.
Your services are no longer needed.
Go back to the fruit picking club.
A lot of fruit actually grows on the ground, Like strawberries.
I don't want them to sit with us.
Whoosh! Where'd that muffin come from? Probably a bakery.
- What? - Ah! What is happening? Is Kacey throwing muffins? Nelson.
Snackinator 3,000 Your greatest invention ever.
Whoosh! Do you have any blueberry? Ow!
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