Liv and Maddie (2013) s01e14 Episode Script

Thanks for giving my bike a spring tune-up, Parker.
No problem, munch.
I wanna make sure the thing that carries you away from here is working at all times.
All right, boys, clear out.
Varsity softball tryouts are coming up, and I need the backyard to practice.
Forget it, Maddie.
We were here first.
Hi, Joey.
Oh, dear.
Backyard is all yours, Maddie.
No, I wasn't finished! The backyard's all yours, Maddie.
Better in stereo b b better in stereo - I'm up with the sunshine - Let's go - I lace up my high tops - Oh no - slam dunk - Ready or not yeah, show me what you got I'm under the spotlight Holler I dare you, come on and follow you dance to your own beat I'll sing the melody when you say yea-ah-ah I say no-oh-oh when you say stop all I want to do is go, go, go you, you, the other half of me, me the half I'll never be-e the half that drives me crazy you, you, the better half of me, me the half I'll always need but we both know we're better in stereo.
It's here! It's here.
My future is here.
My future is here! Between two slices of bread.
Your future can wait.
Look.
That's the costume from "space werewolves.
" "Space werewolves" is a big action blockbuster that's gonna be kind of like the next "twilight," except it's werewolves in space instead of vampires on earth.
It's way more believable.
So, you got the lead in the movie.
No.
They actually don't think a girl will look tough enough.
So you stole the suit so they can't make the movie.
You are diabolical.
Actually, I talked them into sending me the werewolf suit so I can take pictures in it to prove them wrong.
That could work too.
I like you better diabolical.
Liv, great news.
Channel four just called.
They're coming to the house this Friday to interview you for their morning news cooking segment.
I'm doing "nibbling with nimbus"? Yes.
Can you believe it? I love that segment.
Last week, nimbus deep fried a Turkey with VIN diesel.
Wait, mom, did you say Friday? So a "space werewolves" movie photo shoot and a live TV interview.
Okay, this is shaping up to be an oddly stressful week.
Well, luckily you have a super-cool mom who's also a therapist.
And she can help you manage your stress.
Good.
Because I am going to need your help picking out a TV-rrific outfit.
You want my fashion advice.
Oh, it's finally happening.
Okay.
How about a peasant blouse with some sensible trousers? Yeah, this was a mistake.
Green belts, the path of the dragon is not easy.
Hyah! Do not be scared.
The fly lives, barely.
But only so he can warn his friends that distractions will not be tolerated.
Wow, sensei rae dawn is no joke.
I heard if you look directly in her eyes, she can steal your soul.
Dragon Parker, are you ready to advance from green belt to blue belt by unleashing your inner dragon and performing the leaping dragon back-kick? Ready, sensei.
Hyah! Impressive, young dragon.
Your belt.
Remind your parents it's 9.
95 for the new belt and 1.
20 for the target you broke.
Dragon Evan, - are you ready - Let me stop you right there.
My mom says I can't unleash my dragon today.
Excuse me? She thinks I shouldn't participate in an activity where kids are judged in terms of winning or failing.
Especially when I'm going to fail.
Anyway I can get a blue belt by being open about my feelings and talking out issues? Seems your inner dragon is more of a salamander.
No belt for you.
You have one week to earn your blue belt or endure the shame of watching the rest of the class move on to the 2:30 Tuesday slot without you.
There was no way I was gonna let the sensei break up the team of super-awesome martial arts dude and his beloved sidekick, freckles, the smiling salamander.
Yeah.
Evan might need a new nickname.
Okay, Willow, ready? Focus.
Fire one at me.
Right here.
Perfect If we were playing "smash that pot.
" Willow, you've been in a slump for days.
I just can't concentrate.
Okay, well, softball tryouts are this weekend, and if we want to be the first sophomores to make varsity, then you gotta get your head in the game.
What is your problem? You know what? I just don't feel comfortable talking about it.
Okay, well, we have to get to the bottom of whatever this is before tryouts.
And if you're not willing to talk to me, then maybe we need some professional help.
Did someone say "professional help"? It is finally happening.
Thank you for seeing me in my office.
Thank you for the ride.
Well, I thought we would be more comfortable here.
And I thought you'd be more receptive to my words if you could see all my degrees.
So, Willow can't pitch.
Exactly.
Fix her.
So you tell me what is the first thing that pops into your head.
Joey.
Joey.
Joey on a horse that looks like Joey.
Okay.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that this has something to do with Joey.
Wow, you're good.
Joey? This whole thing is about Joey? Maddie, this is a safe place.
We do not judge, even if it is the first place your brain wants to go.
Okay, so what is going on with you and Joey? Nothing.
That's the problem.
It's springtime.
Love is in the air, birds are chirping, but all I can think about is why doesn't my sweet little Joey bird chirp at me? Okay, what what does Joey have to do with your pitching? I can't concentrate.
When I pitch, I look directly at you.
- Right.
- But every time I look at you, all I see is Joey.
I look like Joey?! No, okay.
We both wear glasses, but that is where the similarity ends, right? Right?! So the reason you stink at pitching is because of me? Yeah.
You guys look exactly like each other.
Except he makes it work.
Oh, good, you're here.
I really need to talk.
Oh, I'm all ears.
Okay, Willow's in a slump and she can't pitch, and that's gonna keep her from making varsity softball.
Sports.
But the reason she can't pitch is because she can't concentrate on anything other than her massive crush on Joey.
Ooh, feelings.
Yay.
Willow's just so awesome, and I wish she would realize that there's so much more out there in the world for her other than just Joey.
Okay, so make her see that there's more out there.
Put a love note from a secret admirer in her locker, and she'll forget all about Joey.
Liv, that's actually a really good idea.
Actually, I remember in fourth grade when I was so obsessed with marky Stevens that I literally couldn't even play kickball.
And then I got a secret admirer note from You.
And who went on to win top prize in the school kickball-y thing? Uh-huh, you're welcome.
- Whatcha doing? - Ooh! Do not sneak up on me like that.
What are you doing at Willow's locker? More importantly, what am I doing at Willow's locker? Is that a note? Yeah, actually, don't tell anyone, but I'm doing us both a favor.
It's a secret admirer note to get Willow to stop obsessing about you.
I hope you wrote a good one.
Willow's got a bad case of the Joeys, and I'm not sure there's a cure.
Hmm, the hairs on the back of my neck just stood up.
Willow's coming.
Run.
Hey, Joey.
Hey, beautiful.
What's this? Secret admirer? Oh-ho.
No way.
It looks like she's buying it.
Stop standing like me.
We do not look alike.
Evan, I know you're disappointed that you didn't get your blue belt.
Actually, I'm cool.
I've accepted it as a part of life's journey.
Come on, Evan.
We're a team.
That can't be how you really feel.
You're right.
My mom told me to say that.
You wouldn't believe the things I've accepted as part of life's journey.
But I really do want my blue belt.
Then we've got to unleash your inner dragon.
You heard the sensei.
If you don't become a blue belt by our next class, we move on without you.
Hey, just because I stink doesn't mean I don't understand English.
We are gonna get you angry enough to release all your pent up inner aggression.
This is the new balance plate lunchbox your mom made you get, right? But didn't you want the cool ufc lunchbox with the dude's eyeball falling out? My mom thought it was too violent.
Plus, this one had a carrot thermos.
Evan, if you want that cool ufc lunchbox, you need to smash the balance plate.
Come on, dude.
Reach down deep and breathe some fire.
You know, I better not.
Mom says if I don't bring it home, I don't get my dessert.
And you know how I love raw almonds.
Liv, you ready for your "space werewolves" photo shoot? Stand back, humanoid, or feel my fury.
Whoa.
You look awesome.
Thanks, dad.
Now let's do this.
Snarl.
Growl.
Howl.
Show me fierce.
Boom, pow, Wha-cha! No! Dad, the armor glue they sent me said it's supposed to be permanent.
Don't worry.
I got some fantastic shots before your suit fell apart.
Oh, great.
That one's perfect.
Now I can take these itchy ears off.
Ow.
They're stuck.
Oh, okay.
So are my fangs.
That's so weird.
The makeup glue that they sent me says it's only supposed to last 20 minutes.
And the armor glue says "permanent.
" Hey, mads.
What a beautiful day.
I see heart shapes in the clouds, and the air smells like Jasmine and hot dogs.
I got a note from a secret admirer.
You did? Wow, that's totally unlike us.
Yeah, let's please never do that again.
But I can't really say I'm surprised.
You are a top-notch lady who any guy would be lucky to have.
Now let's get us on that varsity squad.
Turn my hand into a bloody pulp.
My secret admirer is Joey Rooney.
My little Joey bird finally chirped back! Wait, Joey? There was nothing in that note about Joey I'm assuming because you said it was a secret.
For the first time in weeks, my mind is clear and I can concentrate.
I mean, it's obviously Joey, right? Okay, so I know I should have come clean right then and there to protect my brother and my best friend, but in my defense Yeah, okay.
I got nothing.
Sure.
Yeah.
Why not? The point is that you are out of your slump and now we can get you ready for tryouts.
Yeah, about that.
I'm quitting softball.
What?! Willow, you can't.
Relationships take work.
This thing I have going on with Joey has to be my top priority.
See you later, mads, if I ever come back down to earth.
Wow.
There really is no cure for a bad case of the Joeys.
Young dragons, before we give the weak link known as Evan his final chance to earn his blue belt, take a few moments to feed your inner dragons.
It's snack time.
Work with me here.
I was about to give up and look for a new sidekick when I remembered the time Evan lost it because his mom gave him seaweed chips.
So I swapped out his raw almonds for some of that disgusting water weed.
At least we get to have snack together one last time.
Are you ready for your snack? You should have your snack.
- I'm not really that - I said eat your snack.
I can't believe this! What's wrong? It's seaweed chips! Unsalted, organic, seaweed chips.
I keep telling my mom I hate them.
Give me carrot sticks or celery or even rutabaga, just not seaweed chips! Come on, dude.
Listen to your mom and eat it! I won't eat seaweed! What, what?! I'm a good friend.
Who else wants some? Dragon Evan, that was your inner dragon.
It's been released! You are ready for your blue belt now.
Yes! Evan, you did it.
Tell me something that I don't know.
Try to keep up, munch.
Good morning, Stevens point.
And welcome to "nibblin' with nimbus" where every week, Wisconsin's favorite meteorologist this guy cooks up some breakfast for one of Stevens point's most intriguing residents or visitors.
And this week, we got a tasty combination of breakfast brats and the always flavorful star of "sing it loud," Liv Rooney.
I tried all night to get my ears and my fangs off.
They wouldn't budge.
I tried cancelling and Johnny nimbus showed up anyway.
So I did what any great actress would do.
I hid my flaws with wardrobe and props.
Live and in person, here she is now.
Wow, Liv Rooney, that is a nice getup.
Tell me, is that what all the kids are wearing these days? 'Cause if not, they will be after watching this.
Ah, who am I kidding? No kids are watching this program.
Johnny, you are adorable.
So tell us, what are you cooking up this morning? Well, I got a griddle full of brats and a side order of get to know you.
Huh? Okay, now these eggs are ready for poaching.
And here's a secret I learned from Nana nimbus.
Don't use water.
Use chicken broth instead.
Liv Rooney, could you open that for me.
- Mm-hmm.
- All right.
Here you go, Johnny.
Wow! That was quick.
All right.
Now get poaching.
There you go.
Just liberally putting it in there.
They're gonna taste great.
Okay.
Now.
Let's sit down to chew the fat.
And I mean that literally.
These brats are 90% fat.
Well, come on, Liv.
Come on over and sink your teeth into one of these babies.
Oopsie-Daisy.
Oh, Liv, here.
Let me help you up.
Here oh! Either I've had too much coffee, or werewolves are real! Um Uh, no.
Actually, Johnny, I am just giving you a channel four exclusive.
I am up for the lead in "space werewolves," so to get my fans excited, I decided that I would give you a little sneak peek.
Oh! Seriously.
You're kind of freaking me out.
Hey, did Willow get the note? - Yeah, she did, but - Was she happy? Well, yeah, she was shh shh shh shh.
All I needed to know is that she's off my scent.
You have served your purpose.
Hey, Willow.
Willow Willow Willow.
I heard you got a little note in your locker.
I did.
I bet you're pretty excited about that, huh? I say chase this rainbow and see where it takes you.
- Um, Joey - Maddie.
Not now.
I've been waiting for this moment for a long time.
I just can't take it anymore.
Joey Rooney's my secret admirer! What is happening? Yeah.
Uh, I think it's best that the three of us talk about this in a safe place.
Willow.
You can put him down now.
Oh, I didn't realize.
It just feels so right.
Thank you.
Punish Maddie, mom.
Make her clean the bathrooms for the next five years.
Yeah, punish her.
Your bathrooms could use a little help.
There are six of us living in one house.
I do the best I can.
Maddie, what I'm hearing is that your brother and your overly critical best friend are understandably upset.
Willow, I was really just trying to help.
I didn't want to see my best friend drive herself crazy over some stupid guy.
Um The stupid guy is right here.
Thanks, Maddie, but you shouldn't have interfered.
I know.
And I'm sorry.
But you're a great girl who so does not need a guy to make her feel better about herself.
Never forget that.
You're not really quitting softball, are you? No, you're right.
We're making varsity.
I shouldn't get hung up on what some stupid guy thinks.
Again, right here.
So Maddie, is there anything you would like to say to your brother? Yeah.
Joey Did you eat the last muffin this morning? Maddie.
Uh I should not have let Willow think that you were her secret admirer.
Exactly.
How Willow and I feel about each other is none of your business.
Oh, no.
Joey just said he and I had feelings About each other.
Um, no.
What I meant was I'm going now.
And Maddie, I did eat that muffin.
Hide me! I unleashed Evan's inner dragon and now I can't put it back in its cage.
Where's Parker? My dragon wants to throw him around some more.
No idea what you're talking about, son.
Don't lie to me, old man.
I can see him trembling behind you.
What did I say about running in the house? What did I say about talking back, woman? Stop, drop and howl.
Dad, the "space werewolves" movie people called, and apparently my video went viral.
And the only thing they love more than all the free publicity were all the free pics you took.
I'm back on the short list for the lead.
I'm so proud of my little werewolf.
Aah! Cage your dragon! Cage your dragon! Hi, Evan.
Oh, right.