Mr. Bean (1990) s01e14 Episode Script

There we are, sirand just a look.
Yes, that's fine.
(Hairdresser) Great.
Right.
I'll take that off you.
(Customer) Keep the change.
(Bell rings ) Hmm - So, made your mind up yet, sir? - Mmm (Imitates horse ) Yes, that one.
Let's just get this on you, then, sir.
Right then, now Just a trim, then, sir.
Justhead up a bit, sir.
There we go.
- Head up, sir.
- (Phone rings ) Suzie, answer that, will you please, love? Excuse us a minute.
Suzie! (Hairdresser chatting on phone ) Sorry, can I just leave Jamie here with you? Only I've left my purse in the shop.
Just give him a good haircut, will you? Be good, Jamie! (Giggles ) (Chuckles ) Ta-daa! (Imitates shaver) (Buzzes ) Won't be long.
(Sighs ) Oh, well (Buzzing) (Buzzing slows ) Yeah Yeah, great! - (Mutters ) - Thanks.
Found it.
I was really lucky.
It's all right.
Keep the change.
- Say thank you.
- Thank you.
- Thank you! - Thanks so much.
Hello? Hold it, I can't hear you.
Wait Wait a minute.
Oh, sorry about that.
Suzie's usually here Tuesdays.
(Phone rings ) Two minutes.
- Morning, Derek.
- Good morning.
Usual please, Derek.
(Bell rings ) I was first.
(Imitates horse ) Just the split ends at the back.
Thin it out, would you? (Mumbling) (Buzzing) (Shaver sputtering) (Sputtering slows ) (Shaver speeds up ) (Sighs happily) Right (Humming) - Keep the change.
- (Chuckles ) (Humming) - What a day! - Thanks, Derek.
Very nice.
Roger? Roger! - Right.
Where is he? - Whoa! - Where is he? - What? - What do you call this? - But I like it! - You don't like it.
- I do.
- Shut up, Jamie.
Listen - Oi! - My ponytail! - He looks like an ape! - Don't shout.
- Excuse me! Do you know how long it took me to grow that? Two years, and your man chopped it off in less than two minutes! Have you seen this? Sir.
- Have you gone mad? - You're saying Your assistant, where is he? (Woman ) Derek, whatever your name is Come by.
Come by, come by, come by! (Brakes screech) Come by, come by, come by Sit.
Steady (Horn honking) I'll be aboutan hour.
Sort of 3:15, all right? (Coins jingling) (Children laughing and shouting) (Buzzer) - Would you like a go? - Yes, please.
Thank you.
(Buzzer) Another one? Thank you.
(Click) (Snaps fingers ) Well done, sir.
Thank you.
(Girl giggling) Thank you very much.
Oi, oi, oi.
No! I'm so sorry I'm late, I got stuck in the toilet.
(Indistinct) - Name, please? - Luke.
Thank you, Luke.
That's a lovely dog.
- Poppy.
- Poppy.
Lovely dog.
Bean.
And your pet? Come on.
Come on.
(Pretend growling) One minute, sir.
- Colonel, could you come here? - We must get on.
- Can we allow this? - We really must start! Come on, come on, come on! - (Children shouting) - All right, quiet please Quiet! The obedience test.
Stay Stay Stay.
(Crowd) Oh Sit Sit.
- Stay Stay - (Crowd) Ohh Stay.
Sit, Polo, sit.
Stay Stay No, come back, come back! You sit there.
Oh, Teddy.
Sit, sit (Whispering) Stay Stay Stay Yes! (Whistle blows ) Don't eat the sausage! Now, don't eat the sausage! Don't eat the sausage Oh no, Angus! (Whistle blows ) No No! (Cheering and applause ) (Whistle blows ) (Audience ) Go on, Willy! Go on, Willy! Go on, Willy! (Applause ) (Mouths ) (Audience chanting) Angus! Angus! (Audience chanting) Teddy! Teddy! (Whistle ) (Cheering) - Well done.
- Thank you (Cheering and applause ) - Well done.
- Thank you (Cheering) (Dogs fighting) (Audience screaming) (Horn honks ) (Clang) (PA) 'All staff.
Staff train now at platform four.
' (Chuckles ) Hooray! Ohh! (Groaning) (Horn honks ) (Grunts )