Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero (2014) s01e14 Episode Script

Wherever good is threatened, heroes rise to the challenge and always save the day! Except when they don't.
And that's when I go to work.
I zap in two dimensions every day It's my job to be a hero, save the world And make things right Kung fu moles, rescue trolls Punch a zombie! Score a goal! I'm a robot, I'm a rabbit, I'm a knight Stretching, swinging, sliding by Kicking monsters in the eye Boone and Sashi always sticking by my side No villain's gonna stop Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero Ugh.
I can't believe that potato monster slimed us.
That was not slime.
That was snot, 'cause it's thicker consistency.
You say potato monster slime, - you say poh-tato monster snot.
- Yeah, but nobody said poh-tato.
It does raise another question.
Is it snot or snote? Stupid conversation stops now! Talk about snot on your own time.
Phyllis threw us out even faster than usual.
Honestly, you gotta hand it to the lady.
- She's not slowing down with age.
- Oh, no.
I forgot my backpack.
You guys go ahead.
I'll see you tomorrow.
- All right, see ya.
- Later.
Hello.
It's just me, Phyllis! Do not let your guard bear off its chain.
Yes, I'd really like to hear this conversation.
Who could she be talking to? So we all agree? We can't tell Penn.
Yes, we must keep it from him.
Mom? Dad? Hang on.
Before we talk about secret detail, this conversation is making Phyllis very cold.
Okay, now we can start talking openly about our secret.
That's the thing about secrets.
Someone always wants to overhear Yes, and let's start with the most interesting part of our secret.
I'm glad that's over.
Karen the bear, let him go.
What are you doing in Phyllis' secret meeting room? Well, I could ask you the same thing.
Um Well, here's the thing, pal.
We needed to talk to Phyllis in private so we could get her, um her secret um, recipe for uh, food.
Food, huh? Yeah, food.
I can see why that would be pretty private.
Because it is surprise food - for your birthday? - I'm not buying it.
I remember holding you as a baby, knowing the day would come when we couldn't mislead you with carefully constructed lies, - and now it's here.
- Mom, quit stalling.
Okay, tell him, Phyllis.
Yeah, tell me, Phyllis.
- Ah! Oh.
- I talk to your parents every week about my progress in locating most dangerous world imaginable.
Wait.
You found where they're trapped? I know basic area in Multiverse.
Well, then, we gotta rescue them and bring them home! Let's go get them now.
Come on, zap me in, Phyllis.
Let's go.
You see? This is why we don't tell you.
You must be very precise when you zap, and this dimension is very dangerous.
Is most dangerous world imaginable.
I don't care how dangerous it is! Honey, just be patient a little longer, for us.
Okay.
Okay, I promise to be patient.
One hundred percent, no matter what.
Close your eyes and sleep tight 'Cause Uncle Chuck and Aunt Rose Sprayed your bed for spider eggs And pillow mites! Is that just a song, or did you really spray my bed with poison? Maybe we'll answer your question in a dream, Penn-sylvania.
Time to get some shut-eye, Penn-jamin Franklin.
Guys, I've told you about the nicknames, and touching my eyes; it's not cool.
Good night.
Hot potato, this is cotton candy.
- All clear up here.
- Roger.
Over.
Boone, why are you wearing that? - Cool, huh? - Get rid of it! Fine, okay.
You don't need to snap at me.
Cotton candy, come in.
The Chinchilla's about to make his rounds.
You've got two minutes.
- Hang on.
- What's wrong? I'm gonna need confirmation that you remembered to bring snacks.
Over.
The Chinchilla will sleep well tonight.
- Ah, it's locked.
- You guys might want to take cover.
Yeah, I'm gonna go hide inside.
I'm sorry.
Phyllis gave you a key? Yeah.
I am her most responsible employee.
Someday, my huckleberry.
Mwah.
All right, so, you guys zap me into the most dangerous world imaginable, I find my parents, you zap us back.
I don't like sending you in alone.
Well, I need you guys here in case something goes wrong.
Okay, this looks pretty self-explanatory.
Bingo.
This feels wrong, Penn.
We shouldn't do this without Phyllis.
Phyllis is too cautious.
Guys, it's my Mom and Dad.
I'm doing this with or without you.
Good luck.
Huh.
I'm still me.
That's weird.
Mom? Dad? Mom, Dad! I've come to bring you home.
Uncle Chuck and Aunt Rose have been staying in your room, so we'll have to find someplace else for them.
Obviously, it can't be my room, 'cause we're not really seeing eye to eye lately, but we can work this out later.
Just not my room, okay? Teddy bears.
Your mommy and daddy aren't here.
Well, where are they, you monster? Hey! I'm not someone to take lightly.
Wait.
What? Why are you so cute? Help, help! Attention, all Cute-lings.
A big meanie giant has invaded the Cute-ling planet.
We must defend our cute way of life! Cute-lings? Cute-ling soldiers, fire the cotton balls! Fire, fire, fire! No, no, guys, please.
Save your cotton balls.
Look, there's been a big misunderstanding.
Release the kittens.
No, no, no! Don't release the kittens.
I'm just here looking for my parents.
Okay, they'd be easy to spot because they're big like me.
Sashi, Boone, zap me back quick! No, no, no! - I don't know how this thing works.
- Boo, the giant.
Yes, the Cute-lings.
Cute little faces.
Come on.
Boone, help me! Wait a minute.
We didn't send Penn to the most dangerous world imaginable.
We sent him to the least dangerous world imaginable.
- We need to zap him back.
- Ooh, I know.
Let's press random buttons.
What? You have a better idea? I do not.
No! Go away.
Go away.
The theater will self-destruct in 15 seconds.
In 14 seconds.
In 13 seconds.
Let me go.
Struggle all you want, giant.
You shall never break free of our super-strength licorice.
- Bravo! - For destroying out world, we will make an ice cream sundae on you.
Then our collection of baby animal odd-couple friends will devour you.
No, look, this is just a huge misunderstanding.
Cute-ling air brigade, hit him with the ice cream! No, no.
Ah! That's cold! Stop it.
Deploy the whipped cream, the sprinkles, and the hot fudge! Ah, you couldn't at least get some in my mouth? Where's my cherry? Well, Penn, you old fool, can't believe this is how it ends.
Covered in sundae toppings and being eaten by adorable baby animals.
Boone, Sashi, thank you so mu Phyllis.
Uh, I can explain.
No explanation needed.
You are fired.
Good luck.
I'm sorry, Phyllis, did you tell me I'm fired, or I'm tired? Because I could use a quick catnap.
No.
You and your cats are fired.
Go! - You two, get ready to zap.
- But we need Penn.
- Fine.
Here is pen.
- Micro-gel.
Nice.
Sorry, Phyllis.
We're not doing it without Penn.
So you let balance of good and evil in Multiverse tip towards evil, meaning end of life for everyone? - Ugh, dramatic much, Phyllis? - You.
Go home.
- You have no reason to be here.
- But, Phyllis, I Phil, Phil, Phil, Phil.
Go, Phil.
Get up.
Penn Zero has been fired.
Maybe even pathetic part-time villain like you - can win now.
- I'll be right there.
It's finally happening, Freddy.
Hey, does Mr.
Sleepy Face want a waffle? Good.
You're already here.
- I'm surprised Phil called you first.
- Phil called? I'll tell you on the way.
- Tell me where it hurts.
- Here.
Mwah.
How's that? - Sorry.
- It's okay.
I'm numb from the terror.
Okay, Sash, check the spoons.
Nope, check the pecs.
Nope, that's not it either.
Ugh! How does Penn remember all this stuff? All right.
We are Cute-ling citizens.
When Penn left, the Cute-ling citizens screamed all at once.
It was so loud, they cracked the planet.
We have to save the planet so the Cute-lings can return to a life of cuteness.
We need a plan fast.
Which is usually Penn's department.
- What should we do next, mayor? - Well, after careful thought, I think our only option is clear.
Oh, hey, look.
What's that? - I can still see you.
- No, you can't.
Are we playing hide-and-seek? No.
Just check the spectacles.
You're the Cute-ling mayor, and I'm the Cute-ling general.
We need to convince the Cute-lings to abandon their planet and let it crack apart.
This world's end will be my greatest triumph.
I must admit, this is pretty cute.
But still Hi, Penn.
We heard Phyllis fired you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What are you guys eating? Eyeballs.
They taste kinda like an apple mixed with the grossest thing you've ever eaten.
- So how are you gonna fix things, honey? - I don't know.
I really screwed up this time.
I was so focused on finding you guys that I destroyed a whole planet.
It's not very heroic.
Heroes screw up all the time.
I once accidentally blew up Egg City.
You can imagine how long that took to put back together.
The point is, when you mess up, you fix it.
No one can fire you from being a hero.
We share the last name Zero because we failed zero missions.
You wanna be known as Penn One? No.
No, that sounds awful.
Like a terrible diet sports drink.
Look, Penn, you have to ask yourself, what are you prepared to do? Whatever it takes.
Cute-lings, as your cute mayor, I've decided that we're abandoning this sickeningly cute planet.
As you can see, City Hall is actually a spaceship.
Ooh! We'll blast off and start a new life on Ploopiter.
Ohh.
That doesn't look very cute.
No, no, no.
It's just as cute as it is here.
They have puppies and flowers and a moon with a smiley face.
This seems like a spot where Penn would do something.
So let's do this for him.
Cute-lings, my violent friend and I have no idea how to stop our planet from breaking apart.
But the lack of even a vague kernel of an idea should not stop us! Let's get out there and do something that hopefully occurs to us when we're out there doing it! Who's with me?! Everyone who comes with me gets to live.
I wanna live.
What good is life without action, adventure, and dodging fire? We've got lollipops and balloons.
Come on, guys.
We're gonna have so much more fun Enjoy the end of the world.
Maybe day of win is finally here.
Penn One, what do you want? Hmm, Penn One.
Really doesn't roll off the tongue.
Okay, I would like to apply to be a part-time villain.
Okay, we do interview.
- What evil experience do you have? - Evil experience well, uh, I skipped ahead in line at the cafeteria last week, and, oh yeah, I totally destroyed the least dangerous world imaginable - just today.
No.
Yes.
- What is biggest weakness? Ooh, that's tough.
For me, uh well, I guess sometimes, I might be too evil.
Congratulation.
Best interview ever.
Great.
Can I start today? Go-getter, too.
Very impressed.
- I zap you in as Cute-ling citizen.
- No, wait, wait.
How about you zap me in as myself? Then I'll be giant, and I can totally destroy that little planet.
Hm.
Could unbalance Multiverse, and end all life as we know it.
But you have evil face.
Bad luck.
I don't know what's going on here, but I think you just made a big mistake.
Cuties and cutie pies, welcome aboard Adorable Airlines.
I just turned on the "secure puppy" sign, so please make sure your puppies are properly hugged.
In the event of a water landing, the panda can be used as a flotation device.
- In case of grumbly tummies - Enough.
All that panda wiff-woff.
It's all located in the seat pocket in front of them.
Let's go.
Initiating bubble propulsion system.
- Penn, you zapped in! - Hey, it's good to see you guys, too.
We have a relatively small planet to save.
You're too late to the party, Penn.
Oh, is that Penn? Tell him I said hi.
I will not.
Hi, Penn! Okay, I have an idea, but we're gonna have to work fast.
You guys, go get as much hot fudge as you can.
The chocolatey-er, the better.
Okay, super-strength licorice, time to shine.
- Faster! - Engaging heart power.
- You're doing it, Penn.
- Dump the hot fudge down the crack.
It'll act like glue.
I can't hold it.
You can do it, Penn One.
My name is Penn Zero! Okay, everyone, hold tight.
Deploying glitter.
Oh, my goodness! The meanie giant is saving the planet! We can go home now.
No! I don't want to go to Ploopiter.
Thank you, meanie giant, for saving our planet.
You're actually a nice giant.
Aw.
Well, I'm sorry for screwing it up in the first place, you cute little guy or girl thing.
Phyllis, I'm sorry for all the chaos I caused.
I understand if you won't give me my job back.
I understand you did it because you want your parents back.
Ah, thank you.
Thank you, thank you, Phyllis.
Boy, I tell you, it's good to be a part-time hero again.
Hey, should we hug? I mean, is it too weird to hug? I feel like hugging.
- You are still fired.
- What?! I only said I'd understand if you wouldn't give me my job back because I thought I was getting my job back.
But if you want to apply for job, - I could not stop you.
- Thanks, Phyllis.
I will never stop searching for parents.
Oh!