Remington Steele (1982) s01e14 Episode Script

Remington Steele Investigations.
- Please help me! - [Gunfire.]
Someone is trying to kill me.
- I could kill that Marcall! - I wish he were dead.
- You think I'm full of it, don't you, Steele? - Look out! - You just missed him! - I know.
Damn it! What if I threatened to ravage you? Animal! Here's how.
- Ohh! - Ahh! Somebody call his ex-wife.
Tell her she's a widow.
[Laura.]
Try this for a deep, dark secret The great detective Remington Steele? He doesn't exist.
I invented him.
Follow I always loved excitement.
So I studied and apprenticed and put my name on an office.
But absolutely nobody knocked down my door.
A female private investigator seemed so feminine.
So I invented a superior.
A decidedly masculine superior.
Suddenly, there were cases around the block.
It was working like a charm.
Until the day he walked in with his blue eyes and mysterious past.
And before I knew it he assumed Remington Steele's identity.
Now I do the work, and he takes the bows.
It's a dangerous way to live but as long as people buy it I can get thejob done.
We never mix business with pleasure.
Well, almost never.
I don't even know his real name.
[Car Engine Starts.]
Now, whatever happens, it's imperative that you and I stay together.
Peppler.
Peppler? Bob and Judy Peppler? What's the matter with Bob and Judy Peppler? I'm sorry.
It's bad enough being asked to be a "Bob," but to add insult to injury with Peppler.
Oh! It's too late.
Malcolm Marcall is one of the most famous divorce attorneys in the country and he's expecting Pepplers married ones.
Besides, there's nothing wrong with it.
I'm a Peppler.
She's a Peppler.
We're a Peppler.
They're a Peppler.
Wouldn't you like to be a Peppler too? [Softly.]
Why Come on! Where's your sense of humor? I'm wearing it.
Must one truly parade around in loud pants to play this game? Wouldn't want anybody to mistake you for a tree, now would we? Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho.
- Malcolm! - Judy.
! - Bob.
[Chuckling.]
- Uh-huh.
My wife, Loretta.
This is Bob and Judy Peppler, the couple I told you about.
Oh, not you two.
You're not really considering divorce, are you? [Bob Chuckling.]
Now, Retta, we're here to play golf.
[Quietly.]
I know that.
Handsome shot, Mrs.
Peppler.
- Nice shot, Peppler.
- Beginner's luck.
I have a feeling you and I are going to have to play through.
I'm sureJudy won't mind sticking with me.
I appreciate you going through with this charade, Steele.
Main thing is that Retta not know.
- Oh, of course.
- I need your help.
Someone is trying to kill me.
How many strokes is that this hole? Twenty-two? Twenty-three.
If we don't count the times you missed the ball.
And we won't.
Four days ago, someone tried to run me off the road.
Yesterday morning, I discovered my car's exhaust system had been jury-rigged back into the passenger compartment.
- Sounds thrilling.
- Yes, indeedy.
To thrilling lives.
Listen, you see my wife, let me know.
Dinner parties are one of her small pleasures in life.
I'm not particularly anxious for her to know about my stomach trouble.
You read where some scientist says that milk is now bad for your ulcer? I've got this fantasy where the same fellow discovers booze is the only cure.
Here comes Mrs.
Marcall.
- Did it! Broke 150! - [Chuckling.]
That's my girl.
And how did you do, dear? Oh, just peachy, darling.
Oh, I can't wait to hear all about it.
Who would want to kill Malcolm Marcall? How about half the women in Los Angeles.
He suspects it might be one of the four women he's currently battling in court.
He does, does he? Yes, he does.
- Laura, I think we're about to have our first fight.
- I think so.
- I will not live in fear that every time I'm with a client - I did not take all the risks - you are off somewhere stewing.
- Of starting my own business just so you could waltz in and pretend to be a detective! Such a shame about them.
About the case Perhaps Malcolm does have a point.
Those four women certainly have the most immediate motive.
You'll give me their names, and I'll have Murphy interview them.
- Interview them? Oh, but that's so - What? - Boring.
- Oh, really? - And you have a better idea? - As a matter of fact, I do.
Something more dramatic, something to get their attention.
I don't care who your lawyer is! The house is mine! - You're right.
This is a wonderful idea.
- You think so, eh? You want to play dirty, Bob? All right, we'll play dirty.
- How was that one? Look real? - Are you kidding? - What are you thinking? One more to sell it? - [Mumbling Protest.]
Sure.
Why not? Animal! Very good.
- Had a lot of practice.
- Ah.
Hold it, dear.
Janet.
Janet Kimmell.
Welcome to the club.
- Excuse me? - You don't know, do you? You've just joined a very exclusive sorority.
It isn't every woman that has the opportunity to get worked over in court by Malcolm Marcall.
Want to hear something funny? - I hate what I do for a living.
- Not so funny.
Ha! You didn't spend three years going to law school.
I just hate divorce.
I'm good at it, but Ah, the whole business makes me feel a bit like a carpetbagger.
Bought some land in the desert a year and a half ago.
Next month, Loretta and I, we're gonna call it a day with the law and Beverly Hills and - You think I'm full of it, don't you, Steele? - Look out! - You just missed him! - I know.
Damn it! One of these days, he's gonna zig, and then I'm gonna zig and we're both gonna make headlines.
[Sighs.]
How do you feel about Mexican? The problem it seems to me is when you're 23, you marry this guy who's 26.
And a year goes by, and he's 27, and you're 24.
And it just keeps going on that way, till one day you wake up and you say "Hey, who's this 35-year-old guy with a big gut who's lying next to me?" And he wakes up and says, "Hey, who's this and droopy everythings that's lying next to me?" Of course, in Angela's case, she just went out and bought herself another bottle of peroxide and found herself another 26-year-old.
[Laughing.]
Yeah, until that scum Marcall found out.
Now my ex-husband, the liquor store magnate, is dragging me back into court.
I could kill that Marcall.
I really could.
Easy, Angela.
It could be worse.
You could be Megan.
[Woman.]
Megan lived with Anthony Perrouchi, the race car driver.
Marcall drew up this cohabitation contract so that when the relationship turned sour Megan left with what she came in with.
Ask what she came in with.
What did she come in with? A bathing suit.
A very small bathing suit.
Tell her what you do now, Megan.
For a living? Aerobics.
I teach aerobic dancing at a gym on Fifth Street.
You know, if Anthony would've had any other lawyer I'd have a condo on Wilshire, I'd be driving a real nice car.
Instead, I'm 28 years old, and I touch my toes for a living.
Damn that Marcall.
I wish he were dead.
[Angela.]
Speak of the devil.
[Megan.]
Oh, my goodness.
What's that with him, and is it taken yet? That's Rem bert.
Robert.
My ex.
My ex to be.
He's mine.
You can't have him.
Not yet.
- You're divorcing him? - [Indistinct.]
I thinkJudy's ready for something in the vodka family.
Where do you suppose she is? We just have to keep reminding ourselves she's a big girl.
[Thumping.]
What's everybody looking at? Come on.
What are you guys staring at, huh? Two drinks, 27 years That's not bad.
You two take off.
I'll have the limo drop her.
- Leave her like that with you? - She's a big girl.
Remember, Murphy? Come on, Laura.
I'm taking you home.
Laura, I've called Fred, and the car's on its way as we speak.
Men! Men, men men! What does that mean, "men"? He wants to know what that means.
You want to know what that means? I've spent an afternoon listening to the most horrifying stories.
You're all alike.
Your hearts are in your pants and your brains are in your heads! You take her arms.
I'll take her legs.
- The way you use us and then discard us.
- Put her down! As though we're nothing more than mere objects created for your pleasure.
Nothing more than mere afterthoughts, playthings for your amusement.
Nothing more than mere trappings as if God himself had looked down on the Garden of Eden and said - "Nothing but" - "Spareribs"? - We'll all go in the limo.
- [Chuckling.]
Right.
Trophies to display on your mantlepiece.
Collect 'em, trade 'em [Door Slams.]
- [Sighs.]
- [Door Opens.]
- [Door Slams.]
- Ohhh! Not your usual chipper self this morning.
- Must you gloat so loudly? - [Engine Races.]
- Please! - Sorry.
[Barking.]
[Barking Continues.]
[Barking Loudly.]
Down! Quiet! Sit! Retta's the only one they listen to, and she took a drive into town.
I heard these sounds last night.
- Sounds? - Yeah, like the car hood being raised.
Must've been around 3:00 in the morning.
I was in bed.
Uh, I suppose I could have been dreaming.
No.
I don't believe that.
I heard what I heard.
Somebody was down here doing something to my car.
Again.
Perhaps we should alert the local police, and they could send the bomb squad.
- Wouldn't you agree, sir? - I was hoping we could avoid the police and the attendant publicity.
I'd also rather Loretta didn't know.
Ah, I guess I'm being naive.
I mean, you are Remington Steele.
- I just assumed - You assumed quite rightly.
What are you doing? The man is paying for Remington Steele.
He has a right to get what he paid for.
Besides, it's only a problem if there really is a bomb in the car.
Excuse me.
I think I can say without fear of repudiation that this car is free of any and all explosive devices.
[Weak Chuckle.]
Thank you, but Would you prefer if l Uh, would you? Be delighted.
I wonder if I might have a word with Miss Holt for a moment? Excuse me.
- Give me a prayer.
- What? My mind keeps going blank.
All I can think of is "Now I lay me down to sleep," and that's not the one I want in this particular situation.
You mean you're not sure there isn't It has nothing to do with being sure.
It has to do with being prepared for any contingency.
Now, give me a prayer.
- The Lord is my shep - Got it.
Isn't it funny how you can never think of those things when you really need them? [Engine Starts.]
- Good show! - You don't know the half of it.
Beautiful machine.
Mind if I throw her in gear and take her for a spin? - Certainly not.
- Ciao.
[Coughing.]
Those people could certainly learn a thing or two from Detroit.
Whoever did it knew exactly what they were doing.
Completely regeared the car so when you threw it into reverse you were actually going into first.
Megan lived with Anthony Perrouchi, the race car driver.
She probably knew a lot of people who could pull off a trick like that.
Which one was Megan? Hardly begin to know how to describe her.
The short one with the big rack? - I learned that from Murphy.
- When did you ever hear me say "the short one with" Yes, the short one with the big rack.
Anything else happen that I should know about? You got a call from a Janet Kimmell.
She leave a message? - Yeah, she wanted to know if you like Italian.
- Oh So, how long until it becomes final? - To be perfectly honest, we're trying to work it out.
- Oh.
You've already started seeing lawyers? It's too late.
Actually, Mr.
Marcall is trying to help us.
Oh Beth, tell her how Mr.
Marcall helped you.
I didn't even want a divorce.
I don't think Roger did either.
- That doesn't make any sense.
Nobody forced you to - What I mean is I don't know why I got a divorce.
I don't know why anybody gets a divorce.
I mean, in my mother's day, a woman would cheat on her husband.
A husband would cheat on his wife.
But this is the '80s.
We have no vices.
We've given them all away.
Left them to our children.
I just don't know why I got a divorce.
Sure you do.
You were bored.
Or disappointed.
You're married for a while and, believe it or not, divorce seems kind of romantic.
At least it's new.
And the groups You get tojoin so many groups.
Parents Without Partners.
Singles Anonymous.
You start going back to school.
Make women friends.
Look at us.
I mean, three weekends ago, we took our kids to Disneyland together.
But it's hard, and it stinks, and I hate it.
Understand something, Judy.
A good lawyer is a good closer.
You may go in there thinking about a divorce but by the time you walk out, the sale is made.
Janet owns her own business floral shops.
And about once a week, you can count on her for a speech.
Makes her feel like a captain of industry.
I'm not the captain of anything, except my own destiny.
And that's not all it's cracked up to be.
But that's why we have each other.
For help, advice, for friends.
Which reminds me Uh, maybe one of you can help me.
Does anybody here know anything about cars? [Phone Ringing.]
[Inaudible.]
Well, thank you.
Thank you very much.
I suppose there's some solace knowing that although the Remington Steele Agency seems incapable of safeguarding their clients against foul play they do come promptly when you call them.
Mr.
Malcolm, I was just paged at the restaurant and given a message to come here.
- I don't know what you're so upset - You've been drinking.
What? Oh, sipping maybe, but certainly not drinking.
Last night, my wife, Loretta She was alone at home, and someone set fire to the premises.
- [Exhales.]
- I don't believe this.
Mrs.
Marcall is resting quite comfortably.
Just a slight case of hysteria.
It's nice to know that all you have to do is almost lose your life to get the head of the agency to actually work on your case.
- You're fired.
- Mr.
Farcall! Young lady, your agency has just been fired.
Steele, you might tell your help it reflects badly on your whole operation when they show up for work smelling like a vineyard.
- Now what? - Chew.
[Marcall.]
To be perfectly honest I didn't know which way the court was going to go.
I knew the suspense was killing you so when the decree came, I called, and what it amounts to is, she owes you money.
So when the decree came, I called, and what it amounts to is, she owes you money.
Dig out that bottle of St.
Jacques DuPar and some glasses.
[Man.]
I can't believe it.
I just can't believe it.
You're a miracle worker, Malcolm.
Oh, sorry.
- I didn't realize there were other people here.
- They were just going.
Why don't you stay and join us for a toast? - The truth is - Hey, I just lost my wife half my friends, the house, the dog, the record collection.
You can't say no to me.
I'm on a roll.
- Be delighted.
- Let's not and say we did.
- A toast.
- To community property.
- Laura! - Here's how.
- Ooh! - Ahh! Somebody call his ex-wife.
Tell her she's a widow.
- [Knocking.]
- [Clicks TVOff.]
- Mrs.
Marcall? - Judy! I came by as soon as I heard.
Oh Well, aren't you wonderful.
So, how do you feel? Me? I feel fantastic, actually.
Aren't hospitals wonderful places? I mean, they let you sleep all day, and they bring you your meals and if you don't want to answer the phone, you don't have to.
If you just want to stop and think It's too bad you have to be sick to get in.
When did the fire start? I don't know.
Suddenly I turned around There was all this smoke.
There's not much damage though, and we were going to move anyway so I guess we'll just knock a little off the price.
- [Laughing.]
- What? Nothing.
Oh, it's just so silly.
I mean, you work like hell for a house in Malibu.
You work like hell to be a lawyer.
I love that house.
I really thought he did too.
I loved having parties that used to spill out onto the beach and I like going to legal conventions, being Mrs.
Malcolm Marcall, Esquire.
I loved our friends.
I love the clubs, and I love playing golf on Sundays.
Seems like it's that way with so many things in life.
Jobs, people.
You want something, or someone and then you get it them.
Then you realize, maybe you were wrong.
But thank God for that, huh? Otherwise, there wouldn't be any expensive divorces, right? I guess so.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I forgot.
How are things with you and Bob? Oh, well, uh I don't see a thing.
I don't see a thing.
Hmm, so we're safe for the moment.
Marcall was able to keep it out of the papers.
I delivered a sample of the wine to the lab.
We should know what the poison was by the end of the day.
And the coding on the bottle should give us a clue as to where it was purchased.
- Forgive me for butting in.
- We know the bottle was sent to the house - by a supposedly grateful client.
- And that Malcolm brought it from the house to the office.
- May I say something? - [Laura.]
We know in all probability it came from one of our four suspects.
- Now I'm no detective - Murphy, I think I'm hearing things.
It seems to me simply a matter of rounding up the suspects presenting them with the wine in question, and then seeing who Go back to the part where you're not a detective.
Yes.
Well, why don't I run along then and let you honest-to-goodness detectives get down to the business at hand.
What was the name of that wine again? - St.
Jacques DuPar, '78.
- Right.
Oh, I did it again.
Didn't I, Murph? What's that? I came down on him a bit hard.
Don't you think? You're asking me, Laura? I'm one of those people who believe with all my heart you can't be too rich, you can't be too thin and you just can't come down too hard on that guy.
- Hmm.
- But, uh, yeah, I think you did.
[Clucks Tongue.]
If Miss Holt calls, Fred, um - Lie, sir? - Well put.
Well put.
Treat yourself to an oil and grease job, Fred, and keep up the good work.
[Knocking.]
- Yes? - Megan? Megan O'Toole? Hi.
I know you.
I'm sorry.
This is all wrong.
Uh, I'm sorry I bothered you.
Mr.
Peppler? Oh, Bob? Hey, Bob? Something the matter? [Groans.]
This is so unfair.
You don't even know me.
I'm the husband of a friend.
You're a kind-looking lady I happened to see in a restaurant.
[Sighs.]
"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world" Hmm, never mind.
- Well, do you want to tell me about it? - Oh, what's to tell? Judy filed the papers today.
My son won't speak to me.
- The dog ate my slippers.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
Bob You're so tight.
Speaking of which, uh I have something here, sort of a friendship offering a gift.
This bottle of wine from my attorney Malcolm Marcall.
Boy, I thought you were talking something really romantic.
You know, like candles and lotions good stuff.
[Chuckles.]
Next time maybe.
May I pour you some? Well, I don't really think we need that kind of stuff.
- We don't? - Mm-mmm.
What's the matter? The vintage? The bottler? Um, see, l how do you say I don't imbibe.
You know, no meat, no cigarettes, no - St.
Jacques DuPar, '78? - Definitely not that.
And there's absolutely no way I could possibly persuade you to share a drop with me? - Mm-mmm.
- What if I threatened to ravage you? The corkscrew's in my kitchen.
[Car Engine Starts.]
On toJanet Kimmell, sir? That will be fine, Fred.
Certainly, sir.
A herbicide? Injected through the cork? A herbicide? Injected through the cork? Not bad for a night's work, Murph.
Ah, so what've we got? We've got Megan, who lived with a man who raced cars perfect for the first three murder attempts.
We've gotJanet, who owns a floral business a perfect connection for the herbicide.
Yeah, there'd be a wonderful neatness to it all if we could prove the wine came from one of Angela's stor Right.
A wealth of riches.
Three count 'em three perfectly good suspects for a case we've been fired from.
[Chuckling.]
Let's use just one and save the other two for the next time we've got a case we can't solve.
Okay.
Night, Murph.
Get some rest.
[Sighs.]
[Steele.]
Women.
! Women! - What about them? - What about them? What about them! I've known fish who were more faithful.
[Chuckling.]
- Smells like you've had a busy day.
- [Pills Rattling.]
All in the line of duty, my dear.
All in the line of duty.
Uh, if you don't mind my suggesting, you might want to sit down before you fall down.
May I? It's surprisingly dizzying up here.
[Grunts.]
- Oh, no! - [Exhales.]
Oh.
Mmm, you know, you look just lovely this evening.
Did you hurt yourself? Ahh, what are you doing all the way up there? Ohh.
Oh, that's better.
You know, you look just as lovely upside down.
[Chuckling.]
All the drunks say that.
Only because it's true.
May I ask you something? You've been at this private eye thing a while now, right? Then explain this to me.
I go to each of these ladies with a bottle of wine that matches the one that was poisoned.
Now, the theory here is the guilty party will absolutely refuse to touch a drop.
- Good idea, wouldn't you say? - Hmm.
Very good.
That's what I thought.
Hell, it had to be good.
"Claudes" Rains did it in Notorious.
Anyway, that's what I've been doing all afternoon.
- Only? - Not one of them would touch a drop.
I had to drink all by myself.
[Clucks Tongue.]
Tough way to make a living.
A man's got to do what a man's got to do.
If I tell you something will you promise never to repeat it? Never, never, never remind me I said it? - What are you talking about? - Oh, what's the point of being drunk if you can't say the things you'd never say if you were sober? I rather enjoyed being a Peppler.
Shame about the divorce.
They were so good together, those two.
They are.
Aren't they? [Softly.]
Yes.
[Phone Ringing.]
Oh, Laura! Don't leave me on the floor like this! Shh! - Remington Steele Investigations.
- [Marcall.]
I'm under siege here! - [Gunfire.]
- There's a sniper outside my home firing at me! Help me, please! - Help me! - We'll be right there.
[Steele Groaning.]
- Oh! - Oh, God.
- Oh! - Come on! Yes, yes, yes.
We have to get to the Marcalls'.
Malky, Malcolm, yes.
Oops.
- Ooh! - Never could skate.
- Weak ankles.
- Oh, please.
Kind of wonderful the way I snuck my arm around, eh? Oh.
[Laura.]
I can't leave you alone like this.
- You're coming with me, but stay in the car.
- [Dispatcher On Radio.]
The great Remington Steele.
[Dogs Barking.]
[Loretta.]
Heel.
! Mrs.
Marcall! I made them bring me home the moment I heard about the attempt on Malcolm's life, Miss Holt.
It is Miss Holt, isn't it? - My husband's told me everything.
- He has? I'm sure you've heard we've had quite an evening here.
Why don't you come through the house? He's waiting for you down below on the beach.
Thank you.
[Vehicle Engine Starts.]
[Barking.]
- Renny, Lucan, lie down.
- [Barking.]
- [Knocking.]
- Stay! Steele here.
Oops! Pardon me.
Peppler.
I'm a Peppler.
Won't you come in, Mr.
Steele? My husband's been expecting you.
It's straight through to the back.
I've already made the necessary phone calls.
Depending on the availabilities of the moving men, we could be out of Los Angeles by Wednesday.
- Mr.
Marcall - I'm sorry about that little scene in my office, Miss Holt.
This is all very new to me.
Mr.
Marcall, I assure you.
Death threats are hardly run of the mill for anyone.
I don't mean that.
I mean fear.
Huddled under that sink there I knew, for the first time in my entire life that someone wanted me dead.
Pinned there tonight, I could I could feel the hate.
Uh, this should cover your fees and expenses.
Thank you.
[Exhales.]
Am I interrupting something? I was just explaining to your assoc This man is polluted.
I'm not cashing this check, sir.
Not yet.
Not until we discover who it is that's stalking you.
You people should seek professional help.
This is apparently an agency-wide problem.
Good night, Mr.
Marcall.
Good night, Malcolm.
Ohh [Gargling, Spitting.]
Oh, bliss, bliss, bliss.
- Oh, what a relief it is.
- [Laura.]
Yoo-hoo.
! Morning! Morning, morning, morning, morning, morning.
- Oh.
- Rough night? Do you have any idea the price one pays for abusing alcohol the way I did last night? No.
What is the price one pays for abusing alcohol the way you did last night? Uh, 10.
77.
But then again, I didn't shop around.
Probably could've done better on the mouthwash.
I have a confession to make.
I don't like drinking.
I don't like what it does to me.
- What does it do to you? - Well, for one thing, last night Remember it well.
I don't.
Not a lick of it.
What happened? Oh, I couldn't possibly tell you without blushing.
Suffice it to say, we both ended up on the floor.
- Really? - Mmm.
Huh.
Damn.
- I, too, have a confession to make.
- Hmm.
- I swore it off.
- What, the floor? Alcohol never again.
Not even in the line of duty.
Oh, speaking of duty, I knew there was a reason I asked you here.
I've cracked the case.
- [Mouths Word.]
- Mm-hmm.
You mean he called you too? "Emergency meeting.
Get to the agency as soon as possible.
Pick up pastries on the way.
" They're in there waiting for you.
Murphy, Murphy, Murphy, do come in.
Sit down.
Make yourself at home.
Give me a hint.
- He has a theory.
- About what? About the Marcall case.
I was having trouble sleeping last night nasty hangover so I pulled myself out of bed and turned on the television set and there it was.
- Why don't you? - There what was? The solution to this mystery.
Right there, on channel six, in glorious color.
Paramount, 1974, a veritable cavalcade of stars.
Murder on the Orient Express.
I'm gonna get some more coffee.
You want some? - I'll come with you.
- Murder on the Orient Express.
! Didn't you see it? Albert Finney, wonderful actor, funny accent plays master detective Hercule Poirot.
He's a passenger on board that famous European train, the Orient Express.
Early in the trip, Richard Widmark is killed.
Murdered.
And now it's up to Hercule to find out Who done it? Was it Lauren Bacall? Vanessa Redgrave? Could it have been Michael York? Ingrid Bergman? PrettyJacqueline Bisset? Dastardly Anthony Perkins? Who? Who? Who? - You want some Danish with that coffee? - They all did.
They all knew if they worked together, no single person could be implicated.
Any special kind of Danish? - So you're saying - Exactly.
Murphy It doesn't go past this room but I think he makes a lot of sense.
- Really? - Hey! It's the best theory we've got.
I say we run with it.
Run with it? He's been watching football again.
[Steele.]
Could it have been Michael York? Ingrid Bergman? PrettyJacqueline Bisset? Dastardly Anthony Perkins? Who? Who? Who? - Mr.
Marcall, we invited all four women here today - Oh, my.
- Mr.
Marcall, we invited all four women here today - Oh, my.
Under the guise that you would be leaving town and that your clients might wish to discuss settlements out of court prior to your retirement.
- [Dogs Barking.]
- What's that going to prove? - [Doorbell Ringing.]
- I believe our first guest has just arrived.
Heel! - [Growling.]
- Stay.
- Bobby? - Megan, darling! - Do you know everyone? - [Quietly.]
Yeah.
Does everyone know you? Megan O'Toole.
Former live-in lover of Anthony Perrouchi.
Her job? Jury-rig Malcolm's exhaust system.
And when that failed, regear his transmission.
- Isn't that right, Megan? - What? - [Barking.]
- [Doorbell Ringing.]
Heel! - Robert! - Angela.
Do come in.
Now, Angela, tell us how you supplied the wine that was ultimately poisoned - [Barking.]
- In an attempt to kill Malcolm Marcall.
What are you I came here to talk settlement.
Judy? [Steele.]
Now, Angela, it's true, isn't it? I don't know what you're talking about.
I would never buy wine for Marcall.
For one, I don't like him.
And for two, he doesn't drink.
Everybody knows that.
- [Barking.]
- [Doorbell Ringing.]
I said, heel! Retta, you and those beasts come over here.
[Clears Throat.]
Well, surprise, surprise.
Are you my settlement? My goodness.
What have we here? What we have here is a scenario for murder.
A group of four women, embittered by their various domestic situations due to return to court to face Malcolm Marcall.
Each woman contributing one part of the murder scheme so no single woman could be implicated.
You, Janet, provided the deadly herbicide that ultimately poisoned the wine.
- Says who? - Says anyone with a facility for deductive reasoning.
You spirited your herbicide into this house where it was injected into a bottle of I snuck into this house? Past those panthers? Why don't you take a seat, Janet? Tell me again how much you admire my theory.
Love to.
But the truth is I'm developing one of my own.
Well, feel free to jump in whenever the urge hits.
- Loretta - [Barking Continues.]
You didn't hear anything the night someone set fire to this house? - [Barking.]
- What are you driving at? And what about you, Mr.
Marcall? The night you heard someone tampering with your car what else did you hear? - Hear? Uh, hear? - [Barking Continues.]
- Retta, will you shut the damn dogs up! - Heel! You didn't hear the dogs.
Loretta? - [Barking.]
- Will you heel! Oh, Malcolm.
What did you want me to do? Take you to divorce court? - Mrs.
Mar - [Barking.]
You selfish, no good, son of a [Barking.]
- Now, Loretta - I put you through school, remember? I'm the one who cooked your meals and washed your clothes and worked as a waitress, getting her fanny pinched until you passed your bar exam.
- Do you remember that, Malcolm? - I loved you for doing that.
Oh, sure you love me.
You better love me! I invested in you, Malcolm.
We invested in each other.
I worked through my eighth month of pregnancy for you.
And after the baby was born, I kept on working, so you could clerk.
And when you started your own practice, who did the books And when you started your own practice, who did the books and answered the phone for the first year and a half? - I thought we were partners.
- We are.
Then who are you to announce that you're quitting law? Huh? Just when my half of the investment was beginning to pay off.
What the hell right have you got to throw in the towel without asking me, Malcolm? - [Barking.]
- [Doorbell Ringing.]
I believe the word for tonight is "Heel.
" - If you would kindly do the honors - Heel.
Man's best friends? Yes.
I suppose if one leads a truly lonely life.
Oh.
I was just waiting for somebody to answer the door and Roger came up the path and there was no place to go, and one thing led to another and, oh, well.
Isn't love lovely? Vast improvement.
- Thank you.
- How did you know? I didn't.
Not until you started speaking and I realized no one could enter that house without those dogs barking and that no one had ever mentioned hearing them bark.
Not Loretta, not Malcolm when he heard someone and not me the night he called about the gunshots.
Loretta always silenced the dogs so as not to give herself away.
Exactly.
That, and her serving wine [Snaps Fingers.]
What about the car? She had it professionally done.
Told the mechanic she couldn't adjust to the European shifting pattern and could he regear it.
Handsome shot, Mrs.
Peppler.
[Mews.]