Rita Rocks (2008) s01e14 Episode Script
Old Friends
do I have to keep smiling and posing like this? I can't feel my teeth.
No, you're not supposed to smile.
This is rock and roll.
Can you look defiant? How about morose? Think about your retirement account.
That's what we're looking for! Kip, look, I know you mean well, but I'm just not sure we need a Facebook page.
Besides, I'm not sure I want my life on the Internet.
Might poke holes in the story I told at my high school reunion about living in Paris with a French supermodel who I call Amélie.
All right, let's just do this before I lose my lunch.
Yes! You will not be sorry.
All right Okay.
All right, it's ready.
All right.
Come on, let's go.
It's blinking.
All right.
Hurry up.
Hurry up.
It's blinking.
Let's do this.
It's blinking.
Oh, no, I forgot my hat! Oh! Whoa! (crickets chirping) RITA ROCKS PRODUCTIONS, LLC "Hallie's Mom's Band," that's the name Kip gave us? I like it.
I like Patty's Friend's Band more.
(computer dings) Oh, look, we got our first friend.
Ooh.
"Cool pic.
Love your beautiful lead singer.
" Aw.
He means me.
Aw.
He means me.
Okay, so date night is set for Friday night.
And I got us reservations at 360.
Oh, my God, that place is amazing! They have chandeliers that cost more than our house.
Hmm.
How'd you get a reservation? My boss, at first he said he couldn't do it, then he did a complete 180 and now we're going to 360.
I remember when my ex and I were so busy we had to schedule all our dates.
It was right before the divor But I'm sure you two will beat the odds.
(computer dings) Look, we got five new friends.
Oh, I love this Facebook stuff! Oh, my God.
One of them is Cindy Schatz.
Cindy Schatz? My God, you haven't seen her since college.
Yeah, we were best friends.
We met the first day of freshman year, and we were a wild duo.
We even started our Bangles cover band together, the Banglettes.
They opened for an all-gay version of Wham.
They were called Wham.
Cindy Schatz, we were like sisters.
I mean, inseparable.
Man, what a bitch! Okay, I'm confused.
Do we like her or do we not like her? Oh.
Cindy totally screwed me over.
Well, our band had, like, this really big audition, and she was supposed to pick me up.
But she ditched us, took the audition for herself, and got a recording contract out of it.
Ooh, that bitch.
Yeah.
After that, she leaves this message on my answering machine.
"Good luck with everything.
" "Good luck with" What she was really saying was, "Suck it, monkeys.
" Wait, wait, wait-- look at this.
"Hey, Rita, would love to see you.
Cindy.
" Yeah, I don't think so.
She broke up the Banglettes.
Yeah, yeah, and a whole generation cried.
Come on, come on.
Aren't you a little bit curious? Nah, look, Rita's right.
It may be a little bit uncomfortable to see Cindy again.
Exactly.
For me.
She always had a thing for me, so A-a thing for you? I don't remember that.
Well, honey, I mean, she's not going to check out my butt while you're looking.
You know? She going to wait till you turn around, and then she's going to take in the magic.
Yeah, you never said anything about that.
I, I, I didn't want you to feel bad.
You know? Hmm.
But hey, look, you got back at her.
You know, you won.
You got me.
RITA: All right, guys, guys, come on.
When Cindy gets here, I want everyone to remember their manners.
"World's Greatest Mom"? I'm just trying to paint a picture of my beautiful life for Cindy.
I never got you this.
I-I bought it yesterday.
Along with this pillow from Shannon.
Thanks, guys.
I thought you didn't even like this Cindy lady? Honey, you will understand the importance of impressing the people you hate when you're older.
(doorbell rings) All right, I just want to show Cindy what a happy, beautiful, loving family I have.
Now get out of here; you're messing up the place.
Go! Go! Go! Go! Hi! Oh, Rita.
Oh, you look fantastic.
Oh, thanks.
You, uh, you look, um Republican.
Actually, Libertarian.
I don't know what that is, but come on in.
Really? You went You went with the tight jeans? I don't need your permission to update my look.
Cindy.
Hey.
Oh, hi.
You, you must be Rita's husband.
It's so nice to meet you.
No, it's, it's Jay.
Jay, I went to U of M with everyone.
Remember, I drove you home that one Thanksgiving? To Ohio? We got stuck in that storm.
We talked for hours about our hopes and our dreams.
You said I changed your life.
Oh No.
That was a, a fun walk down two different memory lanes.
Excuse us.
She repressed the whole thing? That's pretty messed up.
So, Cindy, um, have a, have a seat.
Oh, let me just move this "I Heart Mom" pillow that my daughter handmade for me.
Oh, it's, uh, so great to see you.
And, and you.
So, uh, what have you been doing since we both haven't aged a bit? Well, uh, let's see, I have two boys.
Uh, Pete, my husband, is a corporate attorney.
Oh, Jay, Jay's in insurance.
Yeah, not just cars.
Houses, planes, boats-- you know, the big leagues.
Oh, uh, we have a boat.
Maybe Pete should talk to him.
You have a boat? Yeah, up at the lake house.
At your lake house? Well, we, we kind of consider this our lake house.
Yeah, well, it's not really near a lake, it's more like a, a pond.
Actually, it's It's just bad drainage.
Have you seen my trophy? Rita, you don't have to do this.
I, I didn't come here to compete with you.
Don't you get it? You already won.
I already won? You know this isn't real gold.
It's just You know, it's just that when I saw your picture on Facebook, you had such a spark in your eyes.
A spark that, that I don't have anymore.
To be honest, I-I'm so, so unfulfilled.
But you have a boat at your lake house.
I know.
I have a great life, but something's missing.
Oh, God, you must think I'm nuts.
No, you know what? I don't.
That is exactly how I felt before I started my band.
Really? Yeah.
Yeah.
And now, now that I have the band, I feel like I have part of me back.
Oh, I knew you were the only one I could talk to about this.
Well, we were best friends.
You're being so much nicer to me than I was to you.
(sighs) God, I'm so sorry about what I did to you and the band.
You must have thought I was such a bitch.
I would never use that word.
I thought I was this big star and then, one single halfway up the charts and my career just fizzled out.
You know, I have an idea.
Why don't you stay and watch us rehearse? I don't know, maybe it'll just sort of inspire you to get your spark back.
Oh, really? I'd love to.
Let me just call my nanny.
You have a nanny, too? Are you sure I won, 'cause? (playing The Bangles' "If She Knew What She Wants") If she knew what she wants He'd be giving it to her If she knew what she needs He could give her that, too If she knew what she wants But he can't see through her If she knew what she wants He'd be giving it to her ALL: Giving it to her Yeah Oh BOTH: He'd be giving it to her He could give her that, too But he can't see through her Oh He'd be giving it to her Giving it to her now.
Whoa! Wow! That was fantastic! Rita, you still got it.
Do you think so? Really? You know, I wasn't even going all out, you know.
Was it really that good? 'Cause, I'm uncomfortable jamming in front of new people.
It's like exposing myself to a stranger.
And not in a good way.
No, she's just here as an old friend who needs a little music therapy.
So, Owen, this isn't about you.
This is about Cindy and how I inspire her.
If I could just make one, little suggestion, that is, if you guys don't mind? I know, lose the hat.
The hair doesn't need a co-star.
Cindy, I would love to hear what you have to say.
I mean, wouldn't you guys? Yeah, sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, uh, on the last chorus, um, try taking it up a whole step.
Oh, yeah, some, uh (plays a few notes) Uh Oh, uh, do you mind? Oh.
Yeah, no (mumbles).
Okay, um All right.
Here's how we did it back in the day.
Remember, Rita? Oh, at Markley Hall.
Oh, with that thing.
And that guy.
At that place.
(Rita and Cindy squealing) Yeah, good times only two of us had.
Okay, here's what I was saying, okay? If she knew what she wants He'd be giving it to her Then taking it up.
If she knew what she wants See? Oh, that's great.
You're really good.
No wonder you dumped Rita for the big time.
Okay, I think I got it from here.
Okay, from the top! One, two, three.
If she knew what she wants He'd be giving it to her If she knew what she wants He'd be giving that, too If she knew what she wants But he can't see through her If she knew She keeps putting it up a half step every time I sing! If she knew what she wants He'd be giving it to her If she knew what she Wants (gasping) I am sorry, I can't believe you just did that.
Me, either.
You just made our song even better! You're awesome! Oh! I hate Facebook.
She came back over! Oh, I can't believe you kept this stuff.
Well, I'm not going to just give it away.
I mean, what did the needy do to deserve this? Oh, man, we used to have so much fun.
Remember that night we played at the student union? No.
Exactly.
I'm so glad we reconnected.
Oh, me too.
It's like we haven't missed a beat.
Yeah, except now when we pass out, it's from exposure to household cleaners.
Oh, you know what we should do? This summer you guys should all come up to our lake house.
That would be great! You know what? That would actually work out because you guys have a boat and we have bathing suits.
So, you know Oh, it'll be great.
Our kids playing together.
Oh, how cute.
We could even jam like we used to.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, God, I miss performing sometimes.
Funny you should say that.
'Cause today at the music store, I, um, I picked this up.
"Lose 20 pounds in one week.
Ask me how.
" Um, here, this, this.
They're looking for a singer/keyboardist for that new hot club downtown.
You should audition.
Oh, I don't know.
You know, I'm kind of rusty, and the auditions end tomorrow.
Then we will get you ready tonight.
Yeah, yeah, we'll pull an all-nighter like we used to.
Except, this time we'll remember it.
Oh, you know what an all-nighter means.
Crappy, greasy food.
Coming right up.
I will go microwave us some pizza bagels.
Oh, don't forget to bring us back some chocolate chip cookie dough.
Like you even need to say it? Th-That's weird, because I was thinking a romantic dinner, and you were must've been thinking welding and then auditioning for a fancy ballet school.
Oh, my God, we were supposed to have dinner at 360 tonight.
I totally forgot.
I promised Cindy I'd help her with her audition tomorrow.
I'm sorry.
I can't let her down.
What about me? Honey, I let you down all the time.
And listen, you can still get lucky tonight, unless I'm too tired.
But even if I'm sleeping, you just do what you want.
But don't pull off the covers, I get cold.
So instead of having a romantic dinner with my wife, I get to have sex with a cold, unconscious person? I can work with that.
Hey, since we're having pizza and cookie dough, let's throw in a vegetable.
You know, in the form of a Bloody Mary.
Oh, hey, Jimbo.
It's Jay.
Jay.
Jay.
I mean, you have to remember something.
It was a six-hour drive.
All right, you don't have to get upset about it.
No, no, no, I'm not upset.
I just need you to acknowledge that you remember me so that you can, you know, get over me.
"Nice butt.
" I knew it! See? See, honey? She just needed the magic to jog her memory.
Now you have closure.
Rita? She's not here.
Oh, let me guess, she's out with what's her name again.
Oh, you can't remember her name? It-It's Cindy.
Cindy, Cindy, Cindy, Cindy, Cindy! I've heard it over a thousand times over the past couple of days.
It's like I'm in a threesome with no one.
Ugh! We have to have a talk with her.
You know, I hear you.
That girl has become a Cindyholic.
You know what? Between you and me, and everybody else I talked to in the last three days, I'm getting a little tired of that Cindy.
Tell me about it.
Rita cancelled on a date last night to help Cindy on some audition.
Well, if the audition was for a friend stealer, then I bet Cindy nailed that, Jack.
Up high! Okay! Hey, guys.
Oh, look.
Rare appearance.
Well, I did it.
Cindy got the gig! Yay Yay Does that mean I get my wife back? Yep, after tonight.
Cindy's taking me out to celebrate.
We're going to this amazing restaurant.
Really? Where? Oh, uh, I forgot the name.
Something with numbers.
You're going to 360! That's where we were gonna go.
You can still go.
With me.
Another time.
When Cindy's busy.
That's it.
Sit down.
We have to talk.
(sighs) Listen.
Patty has something she wants to say to you.
Rita, now, we think you developed a little problem.
Honestly, I don't know how I polished off that bottle of wine by myself, but in retrospect Honey, honey, honey Honey, we don't care about your drinking.
We're talking about Cindy.
I cannot believe you guys are acting like this.
Patty, when I realized something was missing in my life, you inspired me to play music.
And now that I'm doing that for someone that I care about, you're acting like I'm the worst friend.
I didn't say the worst.
And, Jay, Jay, how many times I've heard the blow by blow of your fantasy football team? You know, you yammer on about that, that's fine, but I mention Cindy's name one too many times and suddenly I'm a horrible wife? I didn't say horrible.
You sort of implied it, though.
You did.
Great, if you guys are done acting like babies, I'm going to go get ready.
I don't want to keep Cindy waiting.
I told you not to bring it up.
Oh! (elevator bell dings) Yeah, hi, excuse me again No, your friend still hasn't called.
Well, I'm sure she's just running late, so Can I check that package for you? Uh, you know, I'd better not.
It's a one-of-a-kind poster.
My friend and I were in a, uh, cover band called the Banglettes-- I had the picture blown up and framed.
You're not listening.
Um, I was-- excuse me-- I I-I was I was wondering, um, maybe if I could sit at the table and wait for her there? We don't seat people until the entire party has arrived.
Well, I'm, I'm half the party.
And trust me, sometimes people think I am the whole party.
Oh! Oh! Oh! I'll, I'll sit, of course, over there.
(sotto voce): You work in a restaurant, you might want to eat once in a while.
Hey, Cindy.
It's, it's Rita.
I was trying to (elevator bell dings) Here you are! Here you are, hey! I'll see you in a second.
Hi! Oh, Rita.
I was, um, going to call you.
Uh, these are the guys from my new band.
Oh, hey! This is great.
We can celebrate.
Let me tell Bones over here we need a bigger table.
Uh, yeah, I suppose we could do that, but the thing is, we're just going to be talking professional band stuff.
You'd be bored.
Um, but we'll get together another time.
Another time? I don't Well, you know, I really Mrs.
Schatz, your table's ready.
Um, call me, okay? Oh, and if you want something to go, just put it on my tab.
I don't Um, it's been great catching up with you.
Good luck with everything.
Good luck luck with everything? I'm gonna need some help carrying some stuff to the car.
Your poster? No, no, you can trash that.
Do you sell wine by the case? I can't believe Cindy screwed me over again, you know? At least this time I got steak and lobster out of it.
Last time I got nothing and she took my roommate's bong.
Yeah, she thinks she's so much better than us.
Let me see those pliers.
Yeah, you know, guys? I am really sorry.
You know, you guys are what's important to me, and I lost sight of that.
Honey, it's all right.
You just got caught up in the friendship, you know? Although it was a little harsh calling us babies.
You know what, here's a toast to friends and family, because that is what matters.
Ooh, is that lobster? It's ours.
Get out.
Captioned by Media
No, you're not supposed to smile.
This is rock and roll.
Can you look defiant? How about morose? Think about your retirement account.
That's what we're looking for! Kip, look, I know you mean well, but I'm just not sure we need a Facebook page.
Besides, I'm not sure I want my life on the Internet.
Might poke holes in the story I told at my high school reunion about living in Paris with a French supermodel who I call Amélie.
All right, let's just do this before I lose my lunch.
Yes! You will not be sorry.
All right Okay.
All right, it's ready.
All right.
Come on, let's go.
It's blinking.
All right.
Hurry up.
Hurry up.
It's blinking.
Let's do this.
It's blinking.
Oh, no, I forgot my hat! Oh! Whoa! (crickets chirping) RITA ROCKS PRODUCTIONS, LLC "Hallie's Mom's Band," that's the name Kip gave us? I like it.
I like Patty's Friend's Band more.
(computer dings) Oh, look, we got our first friend.
Ooh.
"Cool pic.
Love your beautiful lead singer.
" Aw.
He means me.
Aw.
He means me.
Okay, so date night is set for Friday night.
And I got us reservations at 360.
Oh, my God, that place is amazing! They have chandeliers that cost more than our house.
Hmm.
How'd you get a reservation? My boss, at first he said he couldn't do it, then he did a complete 180 and now we're going to 360.
I remember when my ex and I were so busy we had to schedule all our dates.
It was right before the divor But I'm sure you two will beat the odds.
(computer dings) Look, we got five new friends.
Oh, I love this Facebook stuff! Oh, my God.
One of them is Cindy Schatz.
Cindy Schatz? My God, you haven't seen her since college.
Yeah, we were best friends.
We met the first day of freshman year, and we were a wild duo.
We even started our Bangles cover band together, the Banglettes.
They opened for an all-gay version of Wham.
They were called Wham.
Cindy Schatz, we were like sisters.
I mean, inseparable.
Man, what a bitch! Okay, I'm confused.
Do we like her or do we not like her? Oh.
Cindy totally screwed me over.
Well, our band had, like, this really big audition, and she was supposed to pick me up.
But she ditched us, took the audition for herself, and got a recording contract out of it.
Ooh, that bitch.
Yeah.
After that, she leaves this message on my answering machine.
"Good luck with everything.
" "Good luck with" What she was really saying was, "Suck it, monkeys.
" Wait, wait, wait-- look at this.
"Hey, Rita, would love to see you.
Cindy.
" Yeah, I don't think so.
She broke up the Banglettes.
Yeah, yeah, and a whole generation cried.
Come on, come on.
Aren't you a little bit curious? Nah, look, Rita's right.
It may be a little bit uncomfortable to see Cindy again.
Exactly.
For me.
She always had a thing for me, so A-a thing for you? I don't remember that.
Well, honey, I mean, she's not going to check out my butt while you're looking.
You know? She going to wait till you turn around, and then she's going to take in the magic.
Yeah, you never said anything about that.
I, I, I didn't want you to feel bad.
You know? Hmm.
But hey, look, you got back at her.
You know, you won.
You got me.
RITA: All right, guys, guys, come on.
When Cindy gets here, I want everyone to remember their manners.
"World's Greatest Mom"? I'm just trying to paint a picture of my beautiful life for Cindy.
I never got you this.
I-I bought it yesterday.
Along with this pillow from Shannon.
Thanks, guys.
I thought you didn't even like this Cindy lady? Honey, you will understand the importance of impressing the people you hate when you're older.
(doorbell rings) All right, I just want to show Cindy what a happy, beautiful, loving family I have.
Now get out of here; you're messing up the place.
Go! Go! Go! Go! Hi! Oh, Rita.
Oh, you look fantastic.
Oh, thanks.
You, uh, you look, um Republican.
Actually, Libertarian.
I don't know what that is, but come on in.
Really? You went You went with the tight jeans? I don't need your permission to update my look.
Cindy.
Hey.
Oh, hi.
You, you must be Rita's husband.
It's so nice to meet you.
No, it's, it's Jay.
Jay, I went to U of M with everyone.
Remember, I drove you home that one Thanksgiving? To Ohio? We got stuck in that storm.
We talked for hours about our hopes and our dreams.
You said I changed your life.
Oh No.
That was a, a fun walk down two different memory lanes.
Excuse us.
She repressed the whole thing? That's pretty messed up.
So, Cindy, um, have a, have a seat.
Oh, let me just move this "I Heart Mom" pillow that my daughter handmade for me.
Oh, it's, uh, so great to see you.
And, and you.
So, uh, what have you been doing since we both haven't aged a bit? Well, uh, let's see, I have two boys.
Uh, Pete, my husband, is a corporate attorney.
Oh, Jay, Jay's in insurance.
Yeah, not just cars.
Houses, planes, boats-- you know, the big leagues.
Oh, uh, we have a boat.
Maybe Pete should talk to him.
You have a boat? Yeah, up at the lake house.
At your lake house? Well, we, we kind of consider this our lake house.
Yeah, well, it's not really near a lake, it's more like a, a pond.
Actually, it's It's just bad drainage.
Have you seen my trophy? Rita, you don't have to do this.
I, I didn't come here to compete with you.
Don't you get it? You already won.
I already won? You know this isn't real gold.
It's just You know, it's just that when I saw your picture on Facebook, you had such a spark in your eyes.
A spark that, that I don't have anymore.
To be honest, I-I'm so, so unfulfilled.
But you have a boat at your lake house.
I know.
I have a great life, but something's missing.
Oh, God, you must think I'm nuts.
No, you know what? I don't.
That is exactly how I felt before I started my band.
Really? Yeah.
Yeah.
And now, now that I have the band, I feel like I have part of me back.
Oh, I knew you were the only one I could talk to about this.
Well, we were best friends.
You're being so much nicer to me than I was to you.
(sighs) God, I'm so sorry about what I did to you and the band.
You must have thought I was such a bitch.
I would never use that word.
I thought I was this big star and then, one single halfway up the charts and my career just fizzled out.
You know, I have an idea.
Why don't you stay and watch us rehearse? I don't know, maybe it'll just sort of inspire you to get your spark back.
Oh, really? I'd love to.
Let me just call my nanny.
You have a nanny, too? Are you sure I won, 'cause? (playing The Bangles' "If She Knew What She Wants") If she knew what she wants He'd be giving it to her If she knew what she needs He could give her that, too If she knew what she wants But he can't see through her If she knew what she wants He'd be giving it to her ALL: Giving it to her Yeah Oh BOTH: He'd be giving it to her He could give her that, too But he can't see through her Oh He'd be giving it to her Giving it to her now.
Whoa! Wow! That was fantastic! Rita, you still got it.
Do you think so? Really? You know, I wasn't even going all out, you know.
Was it really that good? 'Cause, I'm uncomfortable jamming in front of new people.
It's like exposing myself to a stranger.
And not in a good way.
No, she's just here as an old friend who needs a little music therapy.
So, Owen, this isn't about you.
This is about Cindy and how I inspire her.
If I could just make one, little suggestion, that is, if you guys don't mind? I know, lose the hat.
The hair doesn't need a co-star.
Cindy, I would love to hear what you have to say.
I mean, wouldn't you guys? Yeah, sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, uh, on the last chorus, um, try taking it up a whole step.
Oh, yeah, some, uh (plays a few notes) Uh Oh, uh, do you mind? Oh.
Yeah, no (mumbles).
Okay, um All right.
Here's how we did it back in the day.
Remember, Rita? Oh, at Markley Hall.
Oh, with that thing.
And that guy.
At that place.
(Rita and Cindy squealing) Yeah, good times only two of us had.
Okay, here's what I was saying, okay? If she knew what she wants He'd be giving it to her Then taking it up.
If she knew what she wants See? Oh, that's great.
You're really good.
No wonder you dumped Rita for the big time.
Okay, I think I got it from here.
Okay, from the top! One, two, three.
If she knew what she wants He'd be giving it to her If she knew what she wants He'd be giving that, too If she knew what she wants But he can't see through her If she knew She keeps putting it up a half step every time I sing! If she knew what she wants He'd be giving it to her If she knew what she Wants (gasping) I am sorry, I can't believe you just did that.
Me, either.
You just made our song even better! You're awesome! Oh! I hate Facebook.
She came back over! Oh, I can't believe you kept this stuff.
Well, I'm not going to just give it away.
I mean, what did the needy do to deserve this? Oh, man, we used to have so much fun.
Remember that night we played at the student union? No.
Exactly.
I'm so glad we reconnected.
Oh, me too.
It's like we haven't missed a beat.
Yeah, except now when we pass out, it's from exposure to household cleaners.
Oh, you know what we should do? This summer you guys should all come up to our lake house.
That would be great! You know what? That would actually work out because you guys have a boat and we have bathing suits.
So, you know Oh, it'll be great.
Our kids playing together.
Oh, how cute.
We could even jam like we used to.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, God, I miss performing sometimes.
Funny you should say that.
'Cause today at the music store, I, um, I picked this up.
"Lose 20 pounds in one week.
Ask me how.
" Um, here, this, this.
They're looking for a singer/keyboardist for that new hot club downtown.
You should audition.
Oh, I don't know.
You know, I'm kind of rusty, and the auditions end tomorrow.
Then we will get you ready tonight.
Yeah, yeah, we'll pull an all-nighter like we used to.
Except, this time we'll remember it.
Oh, you know what an all-nighter means.
Crappy, greasy food.
Coming right up.
I will go microwave us some pizza bagels.
Oh, don't forget to bring us back some chocolate chip cookie dough.
Like you even need to say it? Th-That's weird, because I was thinking a romantic dinner, and you were must've been thinking welding and then auditioning for a fancy ballet school.
Oh, my God, we were supposed to have dinner at 360 tonight.
I totally forgot.
I promised Cindy I'd help her with her audition tomorrow.
I'm sorry.
I can't let her down.
What about me? Honey, I let you down all the time.
And listen, you can still get lucky tonight, unless I'm too tired.
But even if I'm sleeping, you just do what you want.
But don't pull off the covers, I get cold.
So instead of having a romantic dinner with my wife, I get to have sex with a cold, unconscious person? I can work with that.
Hey, since we're having pizza and cookie dough, let's throw in a vegetable.
You know, in the form of a Bloody Mary.
Oh, hey, Jimbo.
It's Jay.
Jay.
Jay.
I mean, you have to remember something.
It was a six-hour drive.
All right, you don't have to get upset about it.
No, no, no, I'm not upset.
I just need you to acknowledge that you remember me so that you can, you know, get over me.
"Nice butt.
" I knew it! See? See, honey? She just needed the magic to jog her memory.
Now you have closure.
Rita? She's not here.
Oh, let me guess, she's out with what's her name again.
Oh, you can't remember her name? It-It's Cindy.
Cindy, Cindy, Cindy, Cindy, Cindy! I've heard it over a thousand times over the past couple of days.
It's like I'm in a threesome with no one.
Ugh! We have to have a talk with her.
You know, I hear you.
That girl has become a Cindyholic.
You know what? Between you and me, and everybody else I talked to in the last three days, I'm getting a little tired of that Cindy.
Tell me about it.
Rita cancelled on a date last night to help Cindy on some audition.
Well, if the audition was for a friend stealer, then I bet Cindy nailed that, Jack.
Up high! Okay! Hey, guys.
Oh, look.
Rare appearance.
Well, I did it.
Cindy got the gig! Yay Yay Does that mean I get my wife back? Yep, after tonight.
Cindy's taking me out to celebrate.
We're going to this amazing restaurant.
Really? Where? Oh, uh, I forgot the name.
Something with numbers.
You're going to 360! That's where we were gonna go.
You can still go.
With me.
Another time.
When Cindy's busy.
That's it.
Sit down.
We have to talk.
(sighs) Listen.
Patty has something she wants to say to you.
Rita, now, we think you developed a little problem.
Honestly, I don't know how I polished off that bottle of wine by myself, but in retrospect Honey, honey, honey Honey, we don't care about your drinking.
We're talking about Cindy.
I cannot believe you guys are acting like this.
Patty, when I realized something was missing in my life, you inspired me to play music.
And now that I'm doing that for someone that I care about, you're acting like I'm the worst friend.
I didn't say the worst.
And, Jay, Jay, how many times I've heard the blow by blow of your fantasy football team? You know, you yammer on about that, that's fine, but I mention Cindy's name one too many times and suddenly I'm a horrible wife? I didn't say horrible.
You sort of implied it, though.
You did.
Great, if you guys are done acting like babies, I'm going to go get ready.
I don't want to keep Cindy waiting.
I told you not to bring it up.
Oh! (elevator bell dings) Yeah, hi, excuse me again No, your friend still hasn't called.
Well, I'm sure she's just running late, so Can I check that package for you? Uh, you know, I'd better not.
It's a one-of-a-kind poster.
My friend and I were in a, uh, cover band called the Banglettes-- I had the picture blown up and framed.
You're not listening.
Um, I was-- excuse me-- I I-I was I was wondering, um, maybe if I could sit at the table and wait for her there? We don't seat people until the entire party has arrived.
Well, I'm, I'm half the party.
And trust me, sometimes people think I am the whole party.
Oh! Oh! Oh! I'll, I'll sit, of course, over there.
(sotto voce): You work in a restaurant, you might want to eat once in a while.
Hey, Cindy.
It's, it's Rita.
I was trying to (elevator bell dings) Here you are! Here you are, hey! I'll see you in a second.
Hi! Oh, Rita.
I was, um, going to call you.
Uh, these are the guys from my new band.
Oh, hey! This is great.
We can celebrate.
Let me tell Bones over here we need a bigger table.
Uh, yeah, I suppose we could do that, but the thing is, we're just going to be talking professional band stuff.
You'd be bored.
Um, but we'll get together another time.
Another time? I don't Well, you know, I really Mrs.
Schatz, your table's ready.
Um, call me, okay? Oh, and if you want something to go, just put it on my tab.
I don't Um, it's been great catching up with you.
Good luck with everything.
Good luck luck with everything? I'm gonna need some help carrying some stuff to the car.
Your poster? No, no, you can trash that.
Do you sell wine by the case? I can't believe Cindy screwed me over again, you know? At least this time I got steak and lobster out of it.
Last time I got nothing and she took my roommate's bong.
Yeah, she thinks she's so much better than us.
Let me see those pliers.
Yeah, you know, guys? I am really sorry.
You know, you guys are what's important to me, and I lost sight of that.
Honey, it's all right.
You just got caught up in the friendship, you know? Although it was a little harsh calling us babies.
You know what, here's a toast to friends and family, because that is what matters.
Ooh, is that lobster? It's ours.
Get out.
Captioned by Media