Roswell s01e14 Episode Script

Previously on Roswell.
Sometimes you have to take a step back to see what's going on.
And I can't keep pretending that I'm normal.
Max, I know you think that that we shouldn't be together and maybe you're right, but you made me a part of this.
- [Max.]
What does this mean? - That he's back.
Nasedo's here.
This guy's been leaving carnage all over the Southwest for the past 40 years.
I think the one we've been looking for has killed people.
A lot of people.
#[Man Singing.]
Oh, man, am I gonna kick some ass at these auditions.
Do you guys sound as good plugged in? Just you wait, little ladies, until you see my band open up at the you know, the blind date concert this Friday.
You know, you need a better name.
Oh, come on.
What's wrong with the Whits? Just an "S" away from what you really are.
- [Chuckles.]
That's funny.
That's funny.
- [Deejay On Radio Chattering.]
Ooh! Shush.
To the winner of the KROZ blind valentine dream date.
An evening of fantasy and romance for one lucky listener that ends in the most exciting concert of the year.
An intimate club date with a mystery band that'll put this town on the map This is so stupid.
Like anyone would want to go out with someone a radio station picks out for you.
- No, I thought it was romantic.
- You would.
We're ready to crown our winner here at one of our finer local establishments the Crashdown Café! Looking for our new Queen of Hearts Miss Liz Parker.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! You won! - No, I didn't even enter, Maria.
- I entered for us.
- This is so exciting.
- Congratulations, Liz Parker.
Your life is about to change because we're gonna find you that dream man you've been searching for.
Hey, what's running through your mind right now, Liz? Oh, um, yeah, yeah, nothing I can say on live radio.
#[Rock.]
#[Continues.]
#[Ends.]
Okay, maybe nobody's even heard about it.
I don't know what the problem is.
This could be big.
Your dream guy.
Tailor-made.
The human version.
Okay, embarrassing, humiliating, mortifying.
I don't know.
Choose your S.
A.
T.
Word.
I am not forgiving you for a very, very long time.
What is wrong with a normal date with a normal guy for once? Look, it's not like Max has changed his mind or anything.
He dumped you.
Think about it.
That's all I'm saying.
- Oh, hey, Alex! - Oh, hey, what's up? You lost the singer to your band? What happened to Wendy Lavely? Uh, she got mono from Peter Gulla.
- Ew.
- She's lucky that's all she got.
Oh, we have to find somebody before these auditions tomorrow, otherwise we're screwed.
Alex, Alex begging is so unbecoming.
- What? - I'll do it.
I'll do it.
Anyway, I'm so much better than that prima donna.
So, when should we rehearse? No, no.
We're really looking for somebody with professional experience, so Excuse me, Wednesday nights at the Pizza Pan.
- Will you tell him? - Oh, yeah.
She is so good at karaoke.
Maybe, but we play real music.
Oh.
So, I'm not good enough for you, is what Oh, no.
No, I'm sure you're very good at the karaoke, but Just not for you? All right.
Stop by the garage this afternoon, okay? Great.
I'll see you at 4:00, and I'll bring my charts.
Yeah, your charts.
There she is.
! This is so incredible.
! I can't believe you got picked for the blind date.
Evans.
- I know your pain, man.
- I'm just fine, Kyle.
I was in denial in the beginning, too.
I mean, one minute she's telling me I'm the only one.
Next, she's making goo-goo eyes at you.
I can't deny it hurt.
All breakups do, huh? We didn't break up, Kyle.
Max, Max, Max, don't lie to yourself like this.
We didn't break up because we were never together.
She really did a number on you, didn't she? But I've come to realize that's her pattern, her M.
O.
She's a man-eater.
And I pity the fool that radio station fixes her up with, 'cause she's gonna fall in love, and then the hunger begins all over again.
See ya.
## [Rock.]
Hmm.
Wow.
That wasn't bad.
! Wow.
The tempo kinda lagged there in the end.
And I would definitely turn the reverb down on the bass, but not bad! - Who the hell is she? - Guys, Maria.
Maria, the guys.
- Nicky on lead guitar.
Chris on drums.
- Hi.
- Markos on rhythm.
- Here you go.
- Yeah.
These are, uh, my songs.
- We do our own stuff.
I mean, you guys wanna win this thing, right? And who is judging it? A radio station.
And what songs do radio stations like? They like the famous songs.
You know, the songs they play over and over and over again.
These are These are pop songs.
We're sort of an alternative to that.
Well, you're not the alternative they're gonna choose.
- We don't even know if you can sing.
- [Scoffs.]
- Gimme an E-flat.
- Whoa-ho! All right, look.
We know the cave painting is a map.
Michael, we don't know anything.
I feel it, okay? I mean, it was clear in my hallucination.
Hallucination would be the key word there.
Let him talk, Max.
What's wrong with you today? Why would you invest yourself in something you know isn't going to work out? Don't bring your personal problems into this, Maxwell.
It's too important.
I'm talking about the search you're on.
Trying to find someone who could possibly hurt us if we find them.
The fourth alien is not a killer.
He's one of us.
You heard Hubble tell us about the other victims.
About the handprints No, I heard a crazy man.
Tell him.
Tell him we gotta find this guy.
Fine.
Both of you sit here with your cherry colas and your high school fantasies.
I'm going to find him.
You can't treat him that way, Max.
What am I supposed to do? Encourage him to track down a murderer? We don't know what is and isn't true yet.
Michael needs his hope.
It's the only thing that keeps him going.
What about you? You know, I don't know who I'd be if I had spent the last 50 years on my own.
If you were Nasedo, wouldn't you want us to at least hear you out? It's a mistake, Isabel.
Maybe.
But you're never gonna convince him of that without some proof.
And now it's time to check in with our Valentine's Day dream girl.
We're comin' to you live from the Crashdown Café, where it's blind date quiz time with Roswell's most eligible bachelorette, Liz Parker! - Oh, my God, you're on.
Hold on a second.
- No, no, Maria.
- Hmm? - It's radio.
Oh, I can't believe I'm doing this.
And may I just say to our listeners they are missing a sweet soda shop treat by not being here to see what a knockout you really are, Liz.
- Even with the antennas.
- Thank you.
You mean to tell me you don't already have a boyfriend? Um, no, not right now.
Well, whoever let you get away is gonna be kickin' himself when you're out with your dream date on Friday night.
Now answer some questions for me now, Liz.
- Do you like blonds or brunettes? - Uh, brunettes.
Okay.
Hometown boys or out-of-towners? Well, um, hometown boys are okay, but I hear the sound of broken hearts all over Roswell.
- Brainiac or class clown? - Yeah, I'm not into clowns.
Open books or challenges? Yeah, I guess I'm always up for a challenge.
It sounds like we've gotta find you a serious, dark-haired, mystery man from an exotic place by Friday night! Is Liz Parker's Mr.
Right listening out there? ## [Rock.]
So what'd you think? What was that one called again? - "Love Kills.
" - Wasn't that the first one you played? No, that was "Hurt By Love.
" No vocalist, huh? Just you guys? Well, we're waiting for her.
I mean, she should be here any second now.
Why don't we go through another one until she gets here? You know what? We have two other bands to see by 5:00.
I'm here! I'm here! I'm so sorry.
Liz was getting interviewed.
Oh, my God, you guys waited.
Thank you so much.
I'm I'm Maria DeLuca.
This is my band.
Um, oh, one second.
I think she's cute.
Well, look, this is my band, okay? Look, Alex, all right? It's all about personality, okay? And you guys just play the music, and I'll take care of the rest, okay? Okay! We've got time for one more.
Okay.
Um, hey, guys, the one we did yesterday, guys? [Drumsticks Clacking.]
#[Rock.]
- What are we looking at? - [Gasps.]
Oh, my God, l I thought you were one of them.
One of who? A serious, dark-haired mystery man from exotic locations.
What am I gonna do? You're gonna get some phone numbers is what you're gonna do.
Maria, look, this is serious, okay? This contest has completely taken over my life.
Okay, have you thought about Max today? No, l I haven't really had any time.
Mission accomplished.
Besides, it's gonna be over after the concert tonight, okay? Let's talk about clothes.
I just spent two hours and 50 bucks at the thrift shop.
- What do you think? - I thought you already had an outfit.
- No, this is for the guys.
- I think they like to dress themselves, Maria.
That's the whole problem.
They have, like, no style.
We have very specific style.
It's called normal, not thrift shop freak.
Your answering machine's fixed.
It just needed to be reset after the hundredth call.
There are a lot of desperate guys out there.
Alex, I really don't want to go on stage with you guys looking like high school geeks.
We are high school geeks, and we like it like that.
So, please stop trying to take control over it, okay? Well, you know, if it hadn't been for me, you guys wouldn't have gotten the gig, so Okay.
Then you wanna know what? We'll just cancel the whole thing.
Okay, you guys, just time-out, all right? This is, like, your big break, you know? Opening for Smashmouth.
Wait, the mystery band is Smashmouth? Did the radio station tell you that? No, no.
I am sorry.
I was just guessing.
- 'Cause I thought it was gonna be Oasis.
- Barenaked Ladies.
Five bucks.
Oh, you guys, the point is here why don't you guys just, I don't know, like, be yourselves? Alex, do one of Maria's songs and then, Maria, then you do one of the band's songs.
And why don't you two just be thankful that you're not me sitting out there with a blind date while the entire town is, like, staring at us? - #[Rock.]
- [Knocking.]
Come in.
[Knocking.]
- Hey.
- What are you doing? I think I've figured it out.
I can read the map.
I wanna show you.
But what about the concert? Alex got us tickets.
Well, it's either the concert or discovering where we come from.
- Well, what about Max? Shouldn't we - What about Max? Last I heard, he didn't seem interested, remember? He's just worried, Michael.
He's worried about you.
The only father I need is the one waiting for us to find him.
Come on.
Let's go.
- [Keys Jingle.]
- [Shutter Creaks.]
What are you doing here, Max? I couldn't just let you find another guy.
I love you, Liz.
I'll always love you.
[Horn Honking.]
Get your butt down there, girl.
True love awaits.
Get your butt down there, girl.
True love awaits.
[Deejay.]
And now the moment we've all been waiting for.
Liz Parker, meet your dream come true.
Doug Shellow.
! Doug's a freshman at the University of New Mexico who studies ancient languages and hopes one day to be an archaeologist.
Ajob, Liz, that will take him to exotic locations all over the globe, uncovering mysterious, lost civilizations.
And just look at that thick, luxurious head of brown hair.
Go ahead, Liz.
Come on, Liz, I know you want to! Just run your fingers through it, just once! Come on, he won't bite you.
- [Applause.]
- [Deejay.]
Oh, yeah, that's the stuff.
And now it's off for a romantic dinner for two at Chez Pierre where we leave off and I'amour does the rest.
[Chuckles.]
[Vehicle Approaches, Tires Skid.]
[Kyle.]
Evans.
! Max Evans.
! - You in there? - [Chattering.]
#[Rock.]
- Kyle? - Evans! Evans! We're a little drunk.
Well, then, you better be quiet before the neighbors call the police.
Boys, you listen to my friend Max.
He knows how to evade the law.
- What do you want? - I thought it was time to bury the old hatchet.
You know, put the past behind us? Maybe go catch a concert.
- I'm not interested.
- Oh, come on.
You know you want to see this guy just as much as I do.
You shouldn't be driving.
You're right.
We're all intoxicated.
That's against the law.
You're gonna have to do the honors or we'll have to spend the night right here on your lawn.
#[Soft.]
My salmon's delicious.
How's your filet? Oh, it's um it's really tender.
She says the steak is tender.
- Would you mind passing the salt? - Sure.
But apparently not salty enough.
[Whispering.]
Thank you.
Um You know, maybe we shouldn't talk.
I understand.
I'm sorry.
I just wanted to have a normal date.
You did? Well, they're whispering already.
Excellent sign.
The girls in the archaeology department are nice and all but they're just so serious.
It's like they're on a personal quest to uncover some ancient secret Kinda takes over, you know? Yeah, l-I know.
You're different.
I like that.
Thank you.
Um I was actually hoping for a normal date myself.
Well, maybe tonight's the night.
Love is in the air.
Can you smell it? [Deejay On Radio.]
I think our new valentines, Liz and Doug - look like they're ready for dessert.
- [Cheering.]
You can walk to the club from here.
I'll give you your keys in the morning.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
You can't You can't leave now.
You can't leave now.
It's just about to get interesting.
Usually this doesn't happen till the end of the evening but how about letting us in on that first kiss, right now? Come on, Doug.
Just like we practiced.
#[Singing.]
[Cheering, Whooping.]
Sorry about that.
Out the back, through the kitchen on three.
They'll never catch us.
Two three.
[Deejay.]
Hey.
! Hey.
! #[Singing.]
I gotta help you out here.
Try this.
- I don't drink.
- Just Just take a sip.
- I said I don't drink.
- Just one sip.
One sip.
What's it gonna do? Kill you? No.
No, it's gonna calm you down, man.
It's gonna, just, you know, take the sting away.
Just try it.
Just trust me, nothin' bad's gonna happen.
[Coughing.]
#[Singing.]
- Do you feel dizzy? - My tongue - feels very heavy.
- #[Singing.]
You really don't drink, do you? Never.
You, my friend, are drunk.
How much did you chug? This much.
[Scoffs.]
What a wussy! [Chuckles.]
Did you just call me a wussy? I believe I did.
Do you see that mailbox? I'll beat you to it.
[Scoffs, Chuckles.]
- On your mark go! - [Clears Throat.]
Get You said You skipped "get set.
" Faster! Max, where are you? Evans.
Evans! Evans? [Engine Off.]
I think this is the closest you've ever come to the library, Michael.
It means something, Isabel.
It's right here on the map.
Look.
This is the constellation I saw in my dream.
It's Aries, the Ram.
I looked it up.
And this is the symbol Nasedo left us at the cave.
If you take a map of Roswell and position it properly when Aries is directly overhead which is in April, by the way all the rest of these symbols take on locations.
And this one's right here at the library.
How'd you know how to do all that, Michael? I just knew.
I don't think we should be doing this.
Isabel, he sent us a signal.
We gotta send him one back.
This is how we're gonna find him.
Yeah, but what if he's What if he's a killer? There's only one way to find out.
Evans! I know you're here somewhere.
You weren't that far ahead of me.
[Whistling.]
Here, Maxie, Maxie, Maxie! I wanna thank you, Kyle for giving me a new outlook on things.
How the hell did you get up there? I used the ladder.
There is no ladder.
Well, yeah, now.
Whatever.
Get down before you break your neck.
Everybody blames me for getting you trashed.
Maybe getting you drunk wasn't such a good idea.
- No, no, you were right.
- I was? Yeah.
All the stuff you said about me, about Liz.
I've been keeping all this stuff inside.
Not confronting the horrible, ugly truth of it all.
I've been hiding for years, Kyle.
Years.
But it's time the real Max comes out.
He wouldn't be gay, by any chance, would he? [Chuckles.]
You're funny, Kyle.
You're really funny.
No matter how much of a jackass you're being - you always know how to turn a phrase.
- You think I'm a jackass? Yeah, see? See? Secret-keeper Max would never say that to your face.
But the real Max he'll tell you everything he thinks.
No inhibitions.
You should try it.
Okay, so let's be brutally honest with each other here, shall we? You and Liz are in love.
No flies on you, Kyle.
Okay, so then why aren't you together? The problem is that I'm a serious dark-haired mystery man from an exotic place.
[Chuckles.]
But that's exactly what she wants.
[Scoffs.]
Women.
Yeah.
Go figure.
We're a couple of big, fat losers, Evans.
Well, that's a little harsh, don't you think? A little harsh, but true.
I mean, the point is we've let ourselves sink.
I mean, look at us.
We're beaten.
- Not unless we give up.
- Well, in case you haven't noticed we're here in the gutter, while she's off smooching with dogboy.
- We're gonna win her back.
- We are? We're gonna show her how we feel about her and she's gonna forget all about Mr.
Shallow and come back to us.
- Shellow.
- Come on! Well, how do we split her up, exactly? Every other week? Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, alternate Saturdays? Ah, I think we're safe for now.
This is probably the last place they'd look for us tonight.
Yeah, it's not exactly Chez Pierre.
It's perfect.
This is just what I wanted to do tonight.
Get to know the real you.
I mean, how much more normal can you get? [Chuckles.]
I, um I guess that's sort of a contradiction in terms.
You know, being normal in Roswell.
Hmm.
No wonder you entered the contest.
I mean, who are you gonna find in a town like this, anyway? An alien? - [Chuckles.]
- So, what's good here? Besides the waitresses.
Oh, um You know, I don't I don't want to miss the concert.
My friends are playing, and I'd just really like to go see it.
Yeah, we have an hour before it starts.
Besides, I wanted you all to myself.
[Nicky.]
The Foo Fighters.
That would be awesome.
No, not a chance.
They're too big for Roswell.
There she is, our future Celine Dion.
[Laughs.]
I like to think of myself as more of an Alanis, but Maria, this is Matt Walden from the record company.
He's scouting fresh talent.
Hey, Maria.
I'm really looking forward to seeing your band.
- Oh.
- It's my band.
Um, you've come you've come to see us? - We'll talk after the show.
- Okay.
Good luck.
- This is vandalism.
- It's not like we can't clean it up.
Are you sure about this? More sure than I've ever been about anything in my life.
I just don't want you to get hurt, Michael.
Isabel, I told you Max is wrong.
Nasedo's the only one we have.
We still have each other.
Isn't that enough? I'm just I'm just afraid that you won't find what you're looking for.
Or that maybe you will and you won't need Max or me anymore.
That's not possible, okay? It's a symbol of my love.
This is where I blew it with her so this is where I'm gonna make things right.
Done.
Nice.
Nice.
Girls always like that meaningful stuff.
I suck at that.
So tell me the truth does it really get you farther? What do you mean? You know, farther.
All right, listen, I'll tell you if you tell me.
How far did you and Liz get? We saw into each other's souls.
[Sighs.]
How about you? Second base.
Well, we can't win them all.
Come on, let's go.
Wait, wait, wait.
We can't leave now.
Why not? Well, look where we are.
Liz's bedroom.
It's Mecca.
So, once I got my scores back I knew I could pretty much apply to any archaeology program I wanted.
So I chose U.
N.
M.
How about you? - Where are you thinking about going? - Oh, somewhere fast.
It's the KROZ van.
They found us.
[Kyle.]
Top drawer.
Always lingerie.
Dare I? [Kyle.]
The secrets of femininity, so close.
Who knows what I may discover? Kyle, what are you doing Max.
Now, Liz, before you jump to any conclusion I think you ought to know that we are really really drunk.
- Who are these guys? - The exes.
The rejects.
Actually, if you must know we're here to win her back.
Kyle, what did you do to him? Now don't you go and tell her anything I've been talking about tonight.
- It's private.
- Oh, your secret's safe with me, pal.
Um, look, um Kyle, anything that Max has told you or anything you've seen him do tonight, is a lie.
'Cause Max, um, he has this problem.
He When he's drunk, he sort of has a tendency to make things up.
Right, Max? But this is the first time I've ever been drunk.
Would you two just excuse us, please, for one second? - No, this is supposed to be - This is none of your business, Shallow.
You're looking at 160 pounds of varsity Greco-Roman wrestler who's gonna keep it that way.
- Yeah.
- No.
Okay, Max, look, we just gotta get you somewhere safe until you sober up.
- I don't think that's gonna happen.
- Why not? All I had was one little sip [Whispering.]
And it's not wearing off.
Oh.
You like it? [Kyle.]
I said sit down, dogboy.
[Doug.]
Liz, what's going on out there? - I can't hold him back much longer.
- [Deejay.]
I knew it, people.
Doug's already maneuvered his way into the bedroom with Another guy? This is This is about the wackiest thing I've seen in a long time.
Doug in the bedroom with another guy while another dark-haired mystery man steals Liz away into the night.
Wait a minute.
What's this? Ladies and gentlemen, who is M.
E and what has he done with our dream girl? [Inhales, Exhales.]
What What's your problem, Maria? I'm just I'm just a little nervous.
Are you nervous, too? No.
If you do this long enough, it kind of gives you a buzz.
Max! Max, please.
We have to stop.
Please, we have to stop.
Let's just keep running, you and me away from here, away from everything.
I see everything so clearly now.
We'll go someplace where no one knows us.
As long as we're together, nothing else matters.
You're drunk.
Nothing that you're saying is true.
It's all true, Liz.
It's how I really feel.
It's all just magic when I think about you.
Max, turn it off.
Anyone can see.
And when I'm not with you I go crazy.
[Car Alarm Wails.]
Max.
When you're here ## [Music Box.]
Oh, Max.
Please, you You're my dream girl, Liz.
And what if I believe you tonight? Then we live happily ever after.
And then what about tomorrow? When you go back to realizing who you really are and all of your fantasies go away.
#[Music Box Stops.]
I'll still have you.
This can never be normal, Max.
What's so great about normal? We can't just leave this here.
I know.
Can you You think I'm stupid, don't you? No.
Not stupid.
Just forget it.
He's not gonna come.
- Maybe not tonight.
- No, not ever.
No one ever comes for me.
I will.
Whenever you need me.
Yeah, hi, um, we need a taxi, please.
- Stay.
- Staying.
Oh, uh, okay, let me just look.
Um, I think I think it's Citrus, uh [Whistles.]
Hey! Here we are! Hey, we need a ride.
Over here.
Put your hands together for the Whits.
! [Cheering, Applause.]
- Uh, go to the feed.
- [Rock.]
- What are you doing? - I'm hyperventilating.
Well, you gotta go back out there.
No, I cannot go back out there.
I just saw that crowd and I realized that I have never stood in front of a crowd like that.
Let alone sung in front of a crowd like that, Alex.
- You can do this.
Okay? Yes, you can.
- No.
- You can do this.
Okay? Yes, you can.
- No.
Look at this outfit.
Who did I think I was in this outfit? You just need to go back out there and just be yourself.
Okay? Myself? I'm a waitress.
The band isn't coming.
The drummer got arrested for disorderly conduct at the Albuquerque airport.
It's always the drummers, isn't it? You're the only entertainment we've got.
We're back live on KROZ from the strangest blind date I've ever been on.
As I enter the club with Liz Parker, her dream man, Doug Shellow and not one but two of her ex-boyfriends.
- Lyle And Max.
- Kyle.
I can't control them.
You guys have got to help me.
Please? I think you'd look better as a blond.
Um, you know I think I just better get him home.
Well, hey, hold on there, dream girl.
You're not gonna get off so easy.
I mean, look at these guys.
You got 'em hanging on by a string, and I think you owe it to them and the KROZ listeners, to choose your valentine here and now.
Will it be Doug, the dream man we chose for you - the ex-boyfriend, Lyle - Kyle.
Or Max, who kidnapped you and vandalized your home? What do you have to say for yourselves, men? I thought you just wanted a normal date.
[Chuckles.]
Okay, go for it, Kyle.
Hey, I'm just happy to be nominated.
- [Crowd Laughs.]
- And I think I'm gonna puke.
All right.
Well, convince her, Max.
[Cheering, Applause.]
Looks like we've found our winner.
I'm sorry.
I don't know what l I'm sorry.
We have to do something.
[Deejay.]
Someone wanna clue me in here? Wait, Max.
Max.
Did you really mean everything that you said when we were alone tonight? I don't remember.
What did I say? I didn't mean to ruin your night.
You didn't.
## [Singing.]