Sabrina The Teenage Witch s01e14 Episode Script

Now, stretch and focus.
Can you feel the blood rushing to your brain? No, but I feel my lunch making a move.
HILDA: This is no fun.
If you don't enjoy yoga, you don't have to do it.
It's easy for you to say.
You're winning.
There is no winning and losing in yoga.
It's different from other sports.
It's more spiritual.
And you can't get hit in the face with a ball.
Now let's move on to a meditation.
Assume the lotus position.
Can you assume I've assumed the lotus position? Now, let's chant.
Omm ALL: Omm - Um, what do we do now? - We empty our minds.
That, I can do.
Now release your burdens and lighten your load.
SABRINA: Omm Omm - Zelda.
- What? SABRINA: Ow! I thought you said this was low impact.
My biosphere.
Just what I needed.
Ow! What was that? [GASPS.]
[SABRINA SCREAMING.]
SALEM: Hilda, would you be a love and check my stocks? SABRINA: Not me, not today! - She's stomping already? - I don't believe this.
Look.
- Look! - Wow, who's your friend? It's her first wart as a witch.
- Let me get the camera.
- No, it's gross.
How did I get it and how can I make it go away? Usually they're caused by stress.
Just calm down and it'll disappear.
I'm calm, I'm calm.
It's still there.
I can see it.
What am I gonna do? Harvey and I are to supposed to report on the rain forest.
But I am not going to school like this.
You can't skip school because of a wart.
- It's part of being a witch.
- It happens to all of us.
I once had one on the end of my nose for a decade.
Actually, it wasn't that funny.
I wanted to die.
Just be glad you can cover yours with a baseball cap.
SALEM: Orioles? I didn't know your were a baseball fan.
I'm not.
I'm a Brady Anderson fan.
He is so hot.
I love those sideburns.
SALEM: Yeah.
I may be a house pet, but I totally see it.
Now, you're all set.
Off to school.
I feel like a balding, middle-aged man.
Only more bitter.
Are you sure I can't just make it a snow day? - No.
- But everything's going wrong.
Look, I even broke my biosphere.
And my magic won't fix it.
Oh, I bet it's number seven plastic.
It repels magic and it can't be recycled.
Great, great, great.
- That's the spirit.
- I was being sarcastic.
So was I.
Oh, great.
Great, great, great.
Sabrina, I need your help.
I have a burning question.
Now is not a good time.
I was supposed to meet Harvey in the library five minutes ago.
So can we talk about it at lunch? Sure.
I'll just save my burning question until then.
Good morning, Sabrina.
Hey, you're an Orioles fan.
What? Oh, yeah.
Oh, love that Brady Anderson.
Bet he hits another Wouldn't that be great? Great, great, great.
He's not here.
Great.
Where were you? I've been waiting.
Sorry, my bus was late.
Hey, cool hat.
I didn't know you liked the Orioles.
I do today.
- Can I try it on? - No.
Okay, let me show you what I made for our project.
First, this biosphere was going to show how the rain forest is a perfect self-supporting ecosystem, but I dropped it.
So now it shows the devastation caused by greedy timber companies.
- It's just a jar of dirt.
- It's called deforestation.
Okay, okay.
Now, I have something to show you.
It's just what our project needs.
He's the last of the spider monkeys, but you can call him Marty.
- Hi, Sabrina.
- A puppet? See, I think our message will be much stronger if we give the tragedy of extinction a voice and a name.
- Marty? - You can change it.
The point is, he lives in the rain forest.
He has credibility.
Watch.
See my prehensile tail? It's a feature found only in New World monkeys.
I'm trying to like it.
I'm making every effort.
I hate it.
But it's a guaranteed A.
Mr.
Pool will eat this up.
- We're sticking with the biosphere.
- You mean the jar of dirt.
It's a biosphere.
As you pass the biosphere around, I think you'll see what Sting is so upset about.
- It's just a jar of dirt.
- That's enough, Libby.
Please continue with your project.
That is the project.
What's the point? Yes, what's the point of the rain forest? Well, it's-- It's home to millions of insects, plants and animals, including the spider monkey.
Did someone say spider monkey? Who are you? I'm Marty, the rain forest spokesmonkey.
- Delightful.
- Harvey, put the monkey down.
We begin our story deep in the Amazon.
So weep not for me, weep for the fate of the Earth.
Isn't that right, Sabrina? SABRINA: Huh? Yeah, what the puppet said.
That was terrific.
Very creative.
You've really brought extinction to life.
Now, before class ends, are there any questions? Yeah.
Are you two free for my little brother's birthday party? [BELL RINGS.]
All right, read chapter 27.
And how about a big hand for Harvey and Sabrina, huh? I've never been so embarrassed in my whole life.
What? Come on, the monkey saved our butts.
Hey, guys.
Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street? - See, everyone thought it was lame.
- Mr.
Pool didn't.
Like I care what Mr.
Pool thinks.
- Sabrina.
- Oh, great.
I need sugar.
I'm going to lunch.
- Can I come too? - Look, I just want to eat alone.
I was just trying to cheer her up.
JENNY: Hey, Sabrina.
The Bell Jar, three puddings.
This can't be good.
- It's not.
- You want to talk about it? No.
Didn't you have a burning question? Oh, yeah.
See, lately I've been feeling like people aren't paying attention to me.
Get a puppet.
No, I was thinking of cutting my hair.
Just to shake things up.
But it's a big decision.
- Or 50,000 little ones.
- I'm serious.
Sometimes I feel like I'm a prisoner of my own curls.
Really? That's fascinating.
Please go on.
Well, when people see my hair, they think-- [INAUDIBLE.]
- Hey, Sabrina.
- Libby, what do you want? I forgot.
There was something I wanted to ask you about your project.
- Yeah? - If the Earth's tropical forests are being wiped out at a rate of 67 acres a minute, how come you're wearing that stupid hat? - Give it back.
- What is that? Snow day.
[WIND HOWLING.]
- Hey, wart-face, you forgot your hat.
- And you forgot you're a goat.
Now go climb a mountain.
[GOAT BAAING.]
Great, great, great.
Hello, Sabrina.
You stormed in.
Uh-oh.
Is that your blizzard? Yeah.
I blanketed the entire northeast.
Oh, and in local news, I turned Libby into a goat.
Come talk to me.
- What's the matter? - What's the matter? I have to be a witch, I have to be a mortal, I have to be a teenager and I have to be a girl all at the same time.
- That's what's the matter.
SALEM: Hey, at least you've still got your thumbs.
And a door on your bathroom.
Hey, look.
I found my Brady Anderson baseball card.
Who cares? Brady Anderson is nothing to me.
Sabrina.
- How could you say such a thing? - I'm in a bad mood.
Hey, I know what'll cheer you up.
Flan.
- Flan? - The happy dessert.
Everyone loves the custardy goodness of a wiggly-jiggly flan.
You can have my share.
I just want to be left alone.
But flan-- I can't believe this.
It looks awful.
It's huge.
If you took it to a movie, it would want its own seat.
At least someone agrees with me.
I'm so sick of people trying to cheer me up.
I hate when they do that.
You can be in a bad mood if you want.
No one else thinks so.
Everyone keeps trying to make me feel better, and I just want to be left alone, you know what I mean? You can come in here.
No one will disturb you.
- Can I do that? - Sure.
- Step right through.
- Cool.
Wow, everything's flipped around.
Okay, door.
Wrong.
Door.
And my desk is over there.
Neetneves magazine.
I didn't know there was a whole world through my mirror.
Yeah, it's a great place for quiet reflection.
Good, I need some time to relax.
This is great.
Maybe I'll just look at the pictures.
- Did you hear that? - What? My stomach rumbling.
What's for dinner? Whatever comes out of the end of your finger.
I'm too busy working to cook.
Oh, I know what I want.
Flan.
It's so wiggly.
SALEM: I don't know whether to eat it or attack it.
Would you do me a favour and check on Sabrina, - see what she wants? - I'm not sticking my head in there.
She's in a bad mood.
She might bite it off.
- You go.
- No, you go.
- No, you go.
- No, Salem will go.
SALEM: What? Good idea.
Safety in numbers.
Sabrina? It's dinnertime.
She must be sleeping.
- She's not here.
- Where did she go? - I have no idea.
SALEM: Mayday, the mirror.
Sabrina must have passed through the looking glass.
Oh, no.
She's trapped in her own bad mood.
I don't see Sabrina.
Oh, I wish we could make these clouds lift.
There's nothing we can do.
Only she can get herself out of a bad mood.
I hope it doesn't take too long.
Oh, and I hope our counterparts aren't too rotten.
- Me too.
- Well, let's go.
Remember that time I got stuck in my own resentment and you didn't lift one finger to help me? At least you got over it.
No, I didn't.
[ALARM CLOCK RINGING.]
Seven a.
m.
? I must have slept straight through.
- Hey, my wart is gone.
- You must have calmed down.
I feel so much better.
But I look like a mess.
There.
Well, thanks for everything.
I'd better get home and go to school.
Hey.
- What's going on? - You're stuck.
Remember, you wanted to be left alone.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, no.
Help me, help me.
Someone help me! - I got it, I got it.
- Who are you? - I'm Brady Anderson.
- The baseball player? - You've come to help me? - I'm thinking about it, but I'm not sure.
I mean, you did say I was nothing to you.
I didn't mean it.
I was in a bad mood.
Everyone was bugging me.
Well, if everyone was bugging you, did you consider that maybe the problem wasn't with the rest of the world? - That maybe it was with you? - No.
I mean, the things that happened weren't my fault.
- And I was under a lot of stress.
- I know about stress.
Yankee Stadium, playoffs, High school, science project, very big wart.
Okay, you win.
But only because of the very big wart.
My point is, we all live with stress.
That's why you have to learn to control your emotions, and not let your emotions control you.
Isn't that a lot to ask from a teenager? Yeah.
And it will take you about 20 years to get good at it.
But you should start now.
I mean, if you want to get home.
I do.
I don't like it here.
I mean, for one thing, I'm right-handed.
I'm a lefty myself.
I fit in fine.
Okay, the first thing you have to do is make amends.
Easy, I'll just tell everyone I'm sorry.
Oh, and I'll turn Libby back from a goat.
- Good.
You've got a game plan.
- But I'm locked in.
- Here you go.
- How'd you do that? I choked up on the knob.
- Good morning.
- Do you mind? I'm working on an article.
Sorry.
I just wanted to get some breakfast.
- There, have some porridge.
- Thanks.
Oh, it's cold.
I'm sorry, Goldilocks.
The kitchen is closed.
Okay, I'll just go look for the others.
Good morning, Salem, checking your stocks? Yes and they're all down.
Down, down, down.
Well, you know, what goes down must come up.
Thank you, Louis Rukeyser.
But if my stocks don't rally, I'll have to go back to dry food.
Now, please, I'd like some privacy.
Oh, great.
Great, great, great.
[THUNDER CRACKS.]
- Aunt Hilda? - What do you want? I'm a little under the weather.
Maybe I'll come back later.
Hey, good news.
The living room drought is over.
Sabrina, I need to talk to you.
Good.
Because I know you wanted to talk yesterday, and now I'm all ears.
So am I.
- What happened to your hair? - It's gone.
And it's all your fault.
So I wanted to talk to you and say I'm not talking to you.
Wait? How is it my fault? As my friend, you shouldn't have let me do this.
I'm sorry.
I was in a bad mood yesterday and I wasn't really listening.
My life is over.
Jenny, what you need is some perspective.
Okay, first of all, it looks good.
No, it looks better than good.
It looks fine.
And second, it's gonna grow out.
That's right.
I forgot.
Hair grows.
Now, just keep saying that and you'll feel better.
Hair grows.
Hair grows.
Now, I've gotta go find Harvey.
You wanna have lunch? - Okay.
- Good.
- Oh, hair grows.
- Hair grows.
- Hey, Harvey.
- Sabrina, no, stay back.
- What's wrong? - You shouldn't be seen with me.
No one should.
Not after how I embarrassed us both in biology.
You mean with Marty the monkey? Don't even say that name.
I'm trying to forget.
- But he was cute.
- He was lame.
You even said so.
Because I was in a bad mood.
But today, I love puppets.
Where is the little guy? We had a fight.
- He's over there on the floor.
- Oh, no.
Marty, are you okay? I'm fine, but I'm worried about my friend Harvey.
Well, let's go see if we can cheer him up.
Okay.
- Hey, Harvey.
- What, Marty? Sabrina's sorry.
Very sorry.
And she thanks you for saving her butt.
- You know, he is kind of cute.
- And he's the reason we got an A.
When you put it that way, I feel bad that I ripped his eyes out.
- Hey, Marty's used to tragedy.
- Hey, that's my homework.
- You're eating my homework.
- Libby? Okay, Libby, I may not be able to stomach saying this to you after I undo the spell, so I'm sorry.
I was in a bad mood yesterday, but that's no excuse for turning you into a goat.
Even though you totally deserved it.
[BAAING.]
Then we understand each other? What am I doing in the girls' room? - You were gonna wash your hands.
- I was? [SNIFFS.]
Ew! So I was just wondering.
Is everything cool between us? It never was, freak.
Good to have you back, Libby.
Gotta go.
- Oh, I'm up.
- Brady, you're at my school.
How do you have time to follow me around? I'm your spirit guide.
And it's the off-season.
I think you should know, I've been making amends left and right.
I mean, right and left.
Anyway, Jenny, Harvey and Libby are all fine.
I'm afraid that's not enough.
You see, your bad mood had a ripple effect.
- It spread further than you think.
- Like to Guam? No, but beyond those three.
Frankly, you have to cheer up the whole school, including Mr.
Pool.
- What happened to Mr.
Pool? - You might want to check.
- Mr.
Pool? - Is it morning? - Yeah.
- I survived.
Survived what? My car wouldn't start because of the blizzard, so I got stuck here.
And guess what.
- They turn off the heat at 6.
- That's terrible.
What's worse was that I kept hallucinating that there was a goat running around the school.
I know this sounds weird, but the goat was really snotty.
Forget about your horrible, twisted dream.
I know something that'll cheer you up.
Sabrina, trust me.
Nothing could make-- Brady Anderson? Oh, I don't believe it.
I'm your biggest fan.
What are you doing here? I'm in town for some motivational speaking.
- To what group? - Sabrina.
- Would you sign my brain? - Sure.
Look, I need to go.
There's something I need to do.
Which hemisphere? Just right along the cerebellum is fine.
You look different.
Are those new earrings? - Actually, they are.
- People tell me I'm not perceptive.
SABRINA [ON PA.]
: Attention, students.
This is Sabrina Spellman.
I'd like you all to know I was in a bad mood yesterday and I just want to say I'm sorry.
And to make it up to you, I have a surprise in the cafeteria.
So if you'll please proceed in an orderly fashion.
[ALL CLAMOURING.]
- It's beautiful.
- I've never seen anything like it.
It's flan.
And there's enough for everyone.
[ALL CHEERING.]
Here, Libby, have some flan.
No, thanks.
I'm not hungry.
- All right, party time.
- Oh, Sabrina, I'm working.
Okay.
Then I'll just put this flan down over here.
Flan? I haven't taken a break in six hours, but I will for flan.
SALEM: Did someone say flan? - I could go for some flan.
Never underestimate the power of flan.
I'm going home.
BRADY: Ow! - Solid contact.
- Brady? I came to say goodbye.
I'm really glad it all worked out.
Thanks.
I couldn't have done it without you.
- You really put things in perspective.
- That's the key.
Now, get back to the real world.
And remember, life is a team sport.
Life is a team sport? How stupid does that sound? I'm home.
- You got out of your bad mood.
- Good girl.
SALEM: What did you bring me? - A big kiss.
Hey, hey, I can groom myself.
I'm sorry I made such a mess of everything.
We cleaned it up.
We even kept the blizzard going so all your friends could have a snow day.
And we changed Libby back from being a goat.
But not before taking a Polaroid so you could treasure the memory forever.
So the real world kept going without me? - Teenagers.
- Then there's a call I have to make.
SALEM: You don't have to order me a pizza, but make it half sausage, half clams.
Hello, Jenny? Did you cut your hair? No.
Good.
Don't.
It would be the biggest mistake of your life.
No, a trim would be fine.
Look, I'll call you later, we'll discuss every hair.
Okay.
Bye.
- I'm in such a good mood.
- Well, then, we should celebrate.
And there's no better way to celebrate than with a woggly-joggly flan.
This is great.
Great, great, great.
I was being sincere.
Yuck! Ooh.
No.
- Yuck.
- Enough.
I'm not gonna stand here all day watching you.
Wait, come back.
Which sweater did you like? Hey, how am I supposed to figure this out without you?