The Amazing Chan and the Chan Clan (1972) s01e14 Episode Script

1
- [man scatting]
- [music plays]
[whistling]
- [whistling]
- [man scatting]
[whistling]
The Amazing Chan
[man scatting]
[buzzer sounding]
[buzzer sounding]
[buzzer sounding]
[buzzer sounding]
That's the Chan plan
[whistling]
[whistling]
[whistling]
The Amazing Chan
and the Chan Clan
The Amazing Chan
- [music plays]
- Undercover man
Doin' all I can
Trying to make you love me
I'm an undercover man
Doin' all I can
Trying to make you love
I'm an undercover man
Doin' all I can
- Trying to make you
- Look, Mimi.
- It's really focused now.
- Let me see.
[Scooter] It's so clear you can
even see the man in the moon.
When you grow up, Scooter,
you'll find there's no such
thing as the man in the
Yikes! It isn't a man,
it's a monster!
- Nah, it's only Chu Chu.
- [barking]
That's not funny, Chu Chu!
Besides, you didn't fool me
for one minute.
[barks, laughs]
There's that old building
we saw today.
[Henry] That's right, Scooter.
The name of the building
is the Parthenon.
Which, incidentally,
is 2,400 years old.
Wow! No wonder it looks
so beat up.
And what's the name of the lady
statue with the wings?
[Tom] The Winged
Venus of Athens.
She's been standing there
for over 3,000 years.
- Well, now she's flying.
- [Tom] Flying?
That's an optical illusion,
Mimi, 'cause by the refraction
of
Holy moly!
We better call the police.
The Winged Venus has
disappeared!
[Stanley] Wham, bam,
somebody's in a jam!
- Does anyone wish to explain?
- [Henry] Honest,
Pop, we all saw it.
- It was gone!
- If it was gone,
how did you see it?
Well, what Henry means, Pop,
is we could see it was gone
because we couldn't see it. See?
If you are attempting to confuse
me, Stanley, you are succeeding.
[growling]
- Not now, Chu Chu.
- Cool it, Chu Chu.
This isn't playtime.
[barking]
Scooter, take a gander!
Just act casual.
- All right, don't move.
- Yeah, don't move.
- [Flip] Hold it right there.
- [Scooter] Yeah, hold it
right there.
No, no, I am supposed to say
that. Now, for a first-class
snapshot,
stand together and do not move.
[Charlie] At the moment, I
cannot see how or why this
statue would disappear.
Hey, Pop!
How about a group mug shot?
- Satisfaction guaranteed, sir.
- I don't see why not.
- [siren wails]
- Must be a fire.
Sounds more like the fuzz.
- It's the fuzz, all right.
- Thank heavens! A false alarm.
You are Mr. Chan,
the famous detective.
I am Hector Olympius,
minister of antiquities.
What seems to be the trouble,
Mr. Olympius?
[Olympius] There was a
ridiculous report that the
Winged Venus was missing.
[laughs] Have you ever heard
anything so silly?
- [Charlie] Not recently.
- [man] Everybody smile!
And hold it!
[Olympius] Stop! No photographs!
- [thunder crashes]
- [Flip] Hey, what happened?
I can't see a thing!
[all coughing]
Must you stand there
like a bunch of dummies?
Get that photographer!
Get that photographer!
Chu Chu! How did
you get up there?
- [whimpering]
- I'll get him down, Pop.
- [Chu Chu yelps]
- [crackling]
This is not the Winged Venus.
No, just a plaster copy.
But this is a calamity!
The Venus is a
national art treasure.
- Amazing.
- [Olympius] Mr. Chen,
you must help us!
I will do anything I can,
Mr. Olympius.
Well, you heard him. We've got
another caper to solve.
[playing violin off-key]
- Wow!
- A splendid demonstration of
molecular bond disintegration.
Yeah, and he broke
the glass too!
- I think that's what he said.
- I sure wish he'd learn to talk
English.
Now, let's be logical.
A statue can't just fly away.
- Well, this one did.
- But that's impossible.
- So how come it's gone?
- [man] I told you
I could get it.
It wasn't easy,
but I pulled it off.
It's him. It's the same joker
I saw through the telescope.
[man] If you want it,
you will have to pay for it.
A lot of money.
- You think he's got
the Winged Venus?
- What else?
He was hanging around the statue
when it disappeared,
and you just heard him yourself.
- Hey, he's taking off!
- What are we waiting for?
Let's go!
Boy, we're at a dead end
before we even start.
This tourist pamphlet
has given me an idea.
- Keep it simple.
- When in Rome, one does as the
Romans do. Right?
- Right.
- But we happen to be in Greece.
Therefore, let us
do what the Greeks do.
Ask the Delphic Oracle.
I think it's a superstition.
But we've got nothing better
to do.
So let's go!
It's simple.
A, the phony photographer
shows up. Right?
- Right.
- B, he sets off a phony flash
to blind us,
so he can snatch the vital
evidence. Right?
Right. What evidence?
That's C. But we have to find
him to find out.
- [Scooter] Flip, there he is!
- [Flip] Good work, Scooter.
I'll stake him out from here.
You get the rest of the squad.
Gotcha, chief.
- He sure is in a hurry.
- You think he spotted us?
No, but we better not take
any chances.
Give us a cover,
something he won't notice.
[Stanley] Right.
Chan Plan 16, coming up!
- Dynamite?
- Yeah, he'll never spot us now.
Only if he's hiding
in the glove compartment.
- [tires screeching]
- [both] Yikes!
You dummy!
Now look what you did!
We're supposed to be trailing
him. Now we're in front of him.
[laughs] Couldn't we
go backwards?
I think that's the way
your head is screwed on.
- [Anne] It sure is spooky.
- Yeah, let's get out of here.
Merely a coincidence.
Undoubtedly, a strong
gust of wind blew
[man] Who speaks
to the Oracle of Delphi?
- [Anne] We do!
- [man] Come forward
so that Apollo,
my protector, may see you!
- Wow.
- [man] Speak!
What is it you ask
of Apollo's oracle?
Uh, well, we thought perhaps
you might tell us where the
statue of the Winged Venus is.
- You see
- [man] Enough!
Would you tempt the fates?
Would you dare
the wrath of Apollo?
Then give up the search
for the Winged Venus!
Give up the search!
Give up the search!
Give up the search!
- Give up the search!
- I should have realized!
It's a recording.
The whole thing's a fake.
- Yikes! Is that a fake?
- Let's not wait to find out!
Run!
- [straining] Pull!
- [straining]
[all] Yikes!
[Anne] Through that door
Let's go!
Stand by, team.
He's getting ready.
Roger, chief. I'm ready.
- OK, Flip.
- Chu Chu and me are ready,
Flip.
OK, scramble!
He's on his way.
[tires squeaking]
I think our boy is beginning to
suspect something.
What makes you think so?
- Look!
- Wow!
- He's using a smoke screen.
- Or maybe he needs a rim job.
Either way,
we're in big trouble.
- Oh, no, we're not! Watch this!
- [buzzing]
- Stanley, where are you?
- Up here!
I'll give you directions
from up here!
A little more to the left!
Thattaboy, Henry!
Now hold it!
Now a little bit to the right.
Steady as she goes!
Uh, a little to the left now.
That's fine, now hold it.
Henry! Hit a Chan Plan!
- Which one?
- Any one!
Just hit it fast!
[buzzing]
Sometimes I think I'm getting
too old for this sort of thing.
Hey, heads up.
Next time around,
ask that Oracle
how to get rid of this clown.
Don't talk! [panting]
Just run!
This is Nancy. Photographer
headed toward you, Mimi.
Roger. Here he comes.
Now, Scooter,
you stay out of sight. Hear?
You stop telling me what to do.
[Flip] Cut it out, both of you.
You got him, Scooter?
OK, Flip.
He's headed for Chu Chu.
[Flip] Come in, Chu Chu.
- [barking]
- You see him?
- [barking]
- Right. We're on our way.
We've got her.
The Winged Venus
- has gotta be in that truck.
- What are we waiting for?
Let's get her out. [straining]
- It's locked.
- Wouldn't you know it?
- What do we do now?
- Wait a minute.
Somebody's coming.
Up that tree. Quick!
I cannot believe
you managed to get it.
[man 2] Have I ever failed
on a job yet?
- [man] I cannot wait.
- [man 2] Let me see her.
- [man] Very well.
- You actually did it!
A crested Patagonian ostrich!
A first for the new
municipal zoo!
- What are you doing here?
- You tell him, Stanley.
Oh. [chuckles] We were just
waiting for the zoo to open.
Ah ah
Ah ah choo!
This way! Fast!
Time's a-wasting. Let's go!
- Yikes!
- [all gulp]
- [water sloshing]
- [Anne] Watch that first step.
It's a beauty.
[man shouts]
[splashing]
I sure hope he
knows how to swim.
- Crested Patagonian ostrich?
- Henry, would you call that
getting the bird?
The last thing I need from you
right now is bird jokes.
- [steam hissing]
- Uh-oh. Old Faithful's
blown her top.
[Henry] And where are we gonna
get water out here?
[panting] Boy! I'm beat!
We must have walked five miles.
You get the feeling we shouldn't
have gotten out of bed
this morning?
- Hey! What's that?
- It's a lighthouse!
- They're bound
to have water there.
- Yeah, let's go!
- What are you doing?
- Ar! Don't you get it, matey?
Just tell 'em I'm
a shipwrecked pirate. [laughs]
That way they'll never
be suspicious. [chuckles]
Get rid of that stupid disguise
and come on!
[Stanley] Gee, it's pretty dark
for a lighthouse.
Looks like it's not
in use anymore.
[Stanley] Maybe there's
a water tap somewhere.
- [Henry] I found one!
- Hey! [laughs]
- Dig this crazy birdcage.
- Don't touch anything.
- Henry!
- What is it?
- I touched something!
- Speak up. I can't hear you.
- I touched something, Henry!
- Look, Stanley
Stanley? Where are you, Stanley?
[Stanley] I'm up here!
[Henry] Now I know I shouldn't
have gotten out of bed.
[Stanley] Oh, Henry! Help!
Oh, boy.
[panting]
If I ever get my strength
back
It's OK, Henry.
I found the switch.
We can ride down now.
- [whirring]
- What was that?
[whirring]
Quick, Stanley, reverse!
It's catching up, Henry!
Oops! Duck!
Wow! What was that all about?
It was like a signal.
But who to?
This is it.
Anyone feel like backing out?
Nobody, huh?
OK. Let's go.
[Chu Chu whistles]
Ah, my young customer!
All right, mister.
You're finished.
- Yeah, you're finished.
- Almost, but not quite.
- Where you got it hidden?
- I have it right here.
- OK, hand it over.
- You are very impatient.
You heard the chief.
Hand it over!
Very well. A good one,
is it not?
How many copies would you like?
- I think four.
- Yeah, right.
One for each dumb-dumb.
Watch it, Henry!
Well, don't just stand there,
Henry! Follow that helicopter!
You've got him on your side,
Stanley?
- I've got him!
- Stanley! Look out!
[chickens squawking]
Stanley, this is not time for
your stupid disguises!
I'm not wearing a disguise!
And shove over, will you?
You're crowding me!
- Stanley!
- Excuse me, lady.
- What did you do with our cow?
- You bird brain!
- That is the cow!
- Hey, you know,
she don't look bad.
- A little lipstick
and some eyeshadow
- Pull over, you dumb-dumb,
and let's get her out of here!
- [mooing]
- Ah, don't mind him, lady.
He's a sorehead.
An export company, you say?
What is it they export?
And just one more thing.
When were they to leave?
Very interesting.
- Thank you, sir.
- Anything new, Pop?
- We don't have anything.
- Except sore feet.
- I think perhaps the solution
is inside.
- Huh?
- You kidding?
- No fooling.
Alan, if I may borrow your
mechanical genius
- for a little while?
- Sure thing, Pop.
Oh, and if you will get in touch
with your siblings, Anne.
- They might like to be in
on the finale.
- Yes, sir!
- Grecian replica company.
- What's a replica?
- An imitation or copy.
- You mean that's
not a real factory?
- Of course it's real.
- Then why does it say
"replica?"
Let's go inside, children.
[Flip] Holy moly!
They're all Winged Venuses.
Just plaster replicas,
like the one we saw.
Ah, Mr. Chan.
What a pleasant surprise.
This is your factory,
is it not, Mr. Olympius?
Of course. I export replicas
of our most famous Greek
statues.
Is there anything
I can do for you?
Yes. We would like
the Winged Venus.
Certainly. I'll have one
delivered to your hotel
with my compliments.
[Charlie] You misunderstand,
Mr. Olympius.
I mean the real Winged Venus.
- I don't understand.
- I think you do.
- Alan, if you please.
- Yes, sir.
[Olympius] What is going on,
Mr. Chan?
A simple experiment
with my son's help.
- [violin plays on tape]
- I think we will find
our missing statue.
- Higher, Alan.
- Here? That's ridiculous,
Mr. Chan.
These statues are all
made of plaster.
[Charlie] On the outside
perhaps, Mr. Olympius.
- Still higher, Alan.
- [violin plays]
- But on the inside.
- Pop, look!
[cracking]
[Olympius] Your reputation
is well deserved, Mr. Chan.
- How did you know?
- Who would have a better chance
than the minister
of antiquities?
And when I discovered you also
owned this factory,
and had a shipment of Winged
Venuses ready for export,
it was fairly obvious.
I'm surprised you expected
to get away with it.
[Olympius] Oh,
I would have, Mr. Chan.
I only made one mistake:
asking you to take the case.
Right, when us Chans are on a
caper, it's as good as solved.
[music plays]
Who done it?
Who done it?
Who came and stole
my heart away
Who done it?
Who done it?
Who made me feel this way?
I'm looking through
my magnifying glass
I won't let the smallest clue
get past
Don't you know there's
been a robbery?
- [playing off-key]
- [Mimi] Oh, Scooter,
you're being silly.
You're not old enough
to do that trick.
- You just watch!
- I told you.
- It's a great souvenir, Anne.
- I thought it would remind us
of this trip to Greece.
Boy, you think you're so smart.
I'll show you!
- [continues playing]
- Having this at home will
bring back memories.
OK, I guess you're right.
I just don't know
how to do it.
I'll give you the money
for another statue, Anne.
But I suggest you first take
that violin away
from your brother.
[chuckles] In his hands,
it's a dangerous weapon.
[Charlie laughs]