The Mick (2017) s01e14 Episode Script

1 - BEN (screaming in distance): Stop it! - (Mickey slurping liquid) - CHIP: Give it back! - SABRINA: Ben, stop running away from me.
BEN: Don't take that! Put it back on! - SABRINA: Where did you get that? - CHIP: Hold still.
- (loud crashing) - BEN: Just go away! CHIP: If you don't give that back right now BEN (banging on door): Aunt Mickey, open up! Quick! No! No, Mickey's not in right now.
- CHIP: I'll kill you! - BEN (screams): Help! - You're dead! - No! Ben, what? Are you okay? Ben, get over here, you little.
.
- Whoa.
- What the? What is going on in here? Are you eating out of the toilet? No, I'm not eating out of the toilet.
I'm eating on the toilet.
Oh, okay, 'cause you can get very, very sick that way.
Okay, thank you for that helpful reminder, Alba.
No, I just wanted a break from all of you, okay? And this is my last sanctuary.
Or it was.
What? What's going on? What? Ben stole my diamonds.
I need stars for my solar system.
He needs stars for his solar system.
Tough crap.
Those earbuds are for my jams, not "satellites" in some kid's crappy diorama.
They said to find objects from home.
I see you found my lighter.
Whoa, hold on, Ben.
Where'd you get all these? Daddy's closet.
Well, these aren't toys.
These are not to be toyed with.
W-Why? What are they? They're a sign, is what they are, and when the universe gives you a sign, it's not up to you to ignore it.
Okay.
New plan: I am going to take a true time-out from you guys.
And, uh, if you need me, eh just don't.
Where are you going? I'm going to the casino.
I'm passing the baton to Alba while I'm gone.
Oh, what baton? It's a figure of speech.
It just means you're in charge while I'm gone.
Do I actually get to hold a baton, or? Do you need to hold a baton to be a - You said it was a baton.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I should hold something.
- Yeah, yeah.
Here, here we go.
How's that? That looks like a baton.
Sound good? - Okay.
- Great.
But but my project is due tomorrow.
Don't even worry about it, Ben.
By this time tomorrow, this solar system, it's gonna be an entire frickin' galaxy.
Okay, you heard the lady.
I'm calling the shots now.
It's a pepper grinder.
It changes nothing.
It changes everything, Sabrina.
(chuckles) What's with the pepper grinder? Mickey gave it to me.
It means I am in charge.
What? How come you get it? Just to be clear, we're talking about a pepper grinder, right? That, like, grinds pepper? Yeah, and I'm not comfortable with the whole arrangement.
Where's Mickey? Taking a time-out at the casino.
The casino? Have you lost your minds? This woman is a degenerate scumbag gambling addict.
I once saw her snort a fistful of trucker pills and play Pai gow for a week.
We got to go get her before she bottoms out and sells her ovaries.
Okay, you will go.
Trust me, I would go, but I'm self-banned from every casino in New England.
Well, I cannot go, I cannot take Ben to a casino.
Leave him here.
Yeah, actually, that's a good idea.
I'll keep an eye on him.
Give me the grinder, I'll take care of it.
No, I think I leave Sabrina in charge.
This is outrageous.
I'm getting passed over again? It's a pepper grinder.
It means nothing.
Then let me have it.
No.
See, normally I'd make a case for myself, but essentially you're fighting over a kitchen utensil and a babysitting job, so I'll let you ladies duke it out.
Show me the money.
Big money.
I am money.
I am a money monster Ma'am.
Please hurry.
Can you not interrupt me, please? Now I have to start over.
Show me the money.
Big money.
Cash money.
Money machine.
Money ball.
Uh, courtside seats, celebrities.
Being rich, helicopter.
Seven out.
Okay, put that down, come on.
Fun time's over.
Let's go.
Alba? To what do I owe this pleasure? I am rescuing you.
Jimmy says you have a gambling disease.
I don't have a problem.
I'm just blowing off some steam.
Well, Ben's diorama has seen better days.
- DEALER: Seven out.
- Agh.
Yeah, I know.
I-I'm down a few planets.
That's okay, just means there's a heater around the corner.
You want to get in on this? Eh, I don't know.
What, are you afraid of the big bad casino? Does it scare you? Come on, you deserve to take a time-out as much as anybody else.
Well Maybe we play a few rounds, and then we go.
Deal? Yeah, of course, deal, what do you think, I'm gonna stay here all afternoon with these animals? What, so what, I grab these? What, what are you insane? Not that side.
That's my unlucky side.
Get on my right.
Okay.
Okay, look alive, everybody.
New shooter, hot dice.
Sabrina? BEN: What are you doing? Oh! F Ha! Uh Nothing.
I was just, you kn Why are you tied to a leash? Sabrina tied me up so I couldn't get into any trouble while she's out shopping.
She tied you up like a dog and I'm the one that's unfit to be in charge? Mm-mm.
I got to get that pepper grinder.
How'd you like to teach her a lesson? I gotta poop.
Yeah, well, we could do both.
- This is ridiculous.
- Boing, boing, boing, boing.
All right, all right.
- You ready? Ready? - Yeah.
Here's the game.
Okay? You're going to stay in here, and if Sabrina calls out or if Chip calls out, hell, even if I call out, you're not gonna move.
Okay? Just stay here.
Don't show your little face.
When do I really come out? When I have the pepper grinder back in my hands.
Where it belongs.
Can you at least put the leash back on? Why do you want the leash? I don't know, I just like it.
Yeah, so do I.
I mean, Mickey doesn't like it too much, but I'm working on it.
I will come back and check on you at dinner, okay? In the meantime, get in the basket.
Yeah.
- BEN: Whee! - All right.
Bye, Jimmy! (door closes) This is fun.
Okay, shooter needs a seven or 11.
I'd like a two, three, or a 12, but don't let that jinx you.
What? Are you betting against me? Waitress put four ice cubes in my glass this time instead of three, I kind of feel a cold front coming on.
Come on! 11 winner.
Yay! (cheering) - (laughs) - Damn it! I can't catch a freakin' break at this stupid ass game.
Are you okay? Yeah, Alba, I'm fine! I didn't realize you were the fun police.
Sorry about that.
Is this better for you, Officer Chuckles? (cackles) No.
Okay, maybe we go now.
Yes, you want to go? Yeah, by all means, you win.
Again.
Congratulations, ma'am.
That's quite a haul.
Thank you.
I got lucky.
Well, on behalf of the casino, we'd love to comp you a room, express our gratitude for playing with us today.
Oh, wow.
That is very nice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Uh, we really must be going.
What? What are you You turn down a free room? Well Wow.
Wow, Alba.
Having money has really changed you.
Okay, you are making me really nervous.
I mean, what are we even talking about here? We're being offered a free hotel room.
Uh Where there will be no children to bother us, nobody's mouths to feed.
They're gonna bring us room service.
Damn it, you make a very good point.
Come on, let's go pop on some robes and just not have to deal with anything.
Okay, okay, o Okay, okay.
- We do it.
We do it.
Yeah.
- That's my girl.
- Nice pivot.
- Okay.
Sir, please show us to our room.
- You got it.
Please follow me.
- Okay.
oh - I'm gonna - Oh, I can help.
- No, your hands are full.
- What? No.
Those are the those are the expensive Mickey! (moans) Mickey! (groans) Come on.
Hey, Ben (clears throat) Yeah, that's not good.
(huffs) Hey, Chip.
Have you seen Ben? No.
I've been enjoying the freedom not having a pepper grinder affords me.
Right.
Yeah, he may have gotten lost.
You mean you lost him.
I don't know.
He got off his leash.
You tied him to a leash? What is this, Florida? I had to go out for a few hours.
What was I supposed to do, leave him with Jimmy? Definitely not.
Will you help me find him? Look, this whole pepper grinder thing is insane.
It's a second-rate seasoning at best, and you guys are acting like it's King Arthur's sword.
That being said, I really don't like the thought of Jimmy having it.
The guy bugs me.
(groans) Fine.
I'm in.
Oh (gasps) - Wow.
Yeah.
- Oh.
Yeah.
This is nice.
Yeah, this'll do.
Ooh, let's get into that minibar.
Oh.
You know, I am gonna call the kids and check on 'em, - What? - See if they're okay.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
You're not checking on the kids.
We're here to relax.
Those guys are the opposite of relaxing.
In fact, give me all your stuff.
- Oh.
Why? - Come on.
Because, you and I, we're going off the grid.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
Trust me, it's for the best.
We deserve it.
The kids'll be fine.
All right, y'all Pull up your friends, it's Mix Master Whoopie Whoop He back once again Now last time we made y'all stand up We told you that you didn't need to dance And you know that you got your soul together So now that you got it together We're gonna give it to you like this here You ready for it? Here we go - (laughs) - You got to handle it Come on now - Hello?! Ben - Come on Take what you need now Come on now We got to make it scandalous, uh - Come on now - (both scream) Put that thing where it need to be Whoo! Put it where it need to be Where it need to be Put it where it need to be Oh oh, yeah, baby Let me tell you like this here - Check this out - Wow.
Mama come pull out the skillet - (grunts) - Let a brotherman take control Got to get ready for the Mickey! Mickey! (gasps) Oh.
Okay, Mickey.
¿Quieres a bailar? Vamos a bailar.
Dealer showing queen.
Okay, come on, let's go.
- No more fun and games.
- No, no.
Not Alba, not now, okay? I'm in the middle of something.
Hit.
- 23.
Bust.
- Crap.
- Okay, sweet 16.
Hit 'em.
- 24.
Bust.
- Hit me on third base.
- Another bust.
Okay, king-slayer.
Hit 'em.
25.
Bust.
Couple of nines, feeling fine.
- Split 'em and hit 'em.
- 14.
- Hit.
- Bust.
(squeaks) Okay, that's cool.
One more.
- Hit it.
- 19.
Stay.
Son of a bitch! Ma'am, language.
You see what you've done? You just come oozing up here and hanging out on my left side? I-I had all this! I had all this, and you made me lose it! Oh.
Oh, I am sorry that I made you lose all of my money! Now let's go! You have lost control.
I've lost control? Oh, no, you dumb, dumb idiot.
You've lost control! I was in control! Get away from me! Oh, is this how it's gonna be? - Get! - Fine! But you leave me no choice.
(gasps) Oh, you Okay.
Okay.
Come on.
Excuse me.
Sorry.
My bad, my bad.
Let's not panic.
Sir, I need your help.
- What seems to be the problem? - It is my friend.
She has a gambling addiction, and she refuses to stop.
If we do not stop her, she will keep losing and losing until she has nothing left.
All right.
Come with me.
(Alba muttering) Wait, are you kicking me out? We, uh, reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.
I - But I But - Your friend'll be fine.
- But I don't - Thanks for playing.
All right, I checked the tree house.
He wasn't there.
Did you find him? Yeah, yeah, I'm looking under the bed 'cause I found him.
Idiot.
JIMMY: Yo! Benny boy! Oh, crap, that's Jimmy.
What do we do? We stall.
Oh, it's the pepper princess and her little salty troll.
Is Ben in there? - I need to talk to him.
- Yeah.
He is.
But, um, he's napping.
Oh, okay.
Well, I'll just wake him up.
No, no, no, that's not a good idea.
Because the last time we woke him up, we triggered a psychosis.
Oh.
Yeah.
Well, this is pretty important.
What's so important that it can't wait? It's personal.
You have to talk about something personal with a seven-year-old? Yeah, I do.
It's very personal.
Now step aside.
- No.
- No.
(chuckles) Okay.
- Jimmy.
No.
Stop.
- Jimmy, stop! (grunts) Don't Yeah.
You have no idea where he is, do you? He's around.
You've got some nerve calling me irresponsible.
And you put the grinder above your own brother's safety? Do you have any idea what people on the Internet pay for a kid like that? No.
Yeah, well, obviously, I don't either.
But he's a fantastic kid, so I would imagine it's pretty steep.
- Oh - You don't deserve that.
Everything's different now.
Excuse me.
Come on, black.
Let's go.
Mama needs a black.
Black Hawk Down.
Black Lives Matter.
Just black.
Give me give me a black.
Black mama.
Black, black, black, black, black, black, black Red seven.
Red seven.
Okay.
(inhales) Okay.
It all comes down to this.
Come on, Mickey, you can do this.
You've accomplished a lot more with a lot less.
Hey! Hey! (whirring) No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! My chip's in there! (whirring stops) Uh, excuse me? Your vacuum, it just sucked my chip up.
Miss, I'm just doing my job.
Yeah, we're all just doing our jobs.
Can you rip the bag open, give me my chip back so I can go back to my job, please? - Is there a problem here? - Yes, there's a problem.
The-the vacuum, it just ate my chip.
Uh, well, you-you probably wouldn't want to eat that anyway.
There's a lot of foot traffic going through here.
No, not-not that kind of chip.
What? Why does everyone think I eat from toilets and floors? No, a casino chip.
Oh.
Uh, how much money are we talking here, ma'am? It was a five-dollar one.
Okay, well, maybe you can, uh, win some more at one of our tables.
(chuckles, scoffs) Wouldn't that be nice? Well, I would have to be a magician, because that's the last of my chips.
Well, uh, if you don't have any money, ma'am, I'm afraid you have no reason to be here.
Well, I'm not going anywhere until this chip-sucking carpet jockey makes it right.
Jared.
It's pronounced "Garrett.
" Okay, shut your mouth.
Don't talk to me like that.
Have manners.
I'm a lady.
Security, pit seven.
Oh, you calling in the cavalry? Okay, that's a that's a gross overreaction! Everything's fine.
I will show myself the door.
In a graceful and classy manner.
You might want to take notes.
(both grunt) (vacuum motor whirring) (Mickey coughing) Order has been restored.
(chuckles) Ben.
Yeah, all right.
Hide-and-go-seek, I'm it, you're it.
Let's go.
Come on, dude.
Let's Oh.
Huh.
Ben.
Jimmy.
You're not fit to lead.
The kid's better tied up than he is with you, but no.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You took him off the leash? No.
It was complicated.
I was there, but, uh Yeah, I did.
All right? But I should have had the grinder to begin with, because then I wouldn't - Jimmy, Jimmy.
- Have done this.
Where is Ben now? I don't know.
We lost him, he's gone.
No, Jimmy, you lost him.
I had him tied up safe and sound.
- I mean, it wasn't - No.
You had him tied up like a little dog in a park getting kicked - by big kids at the - Nobody likes it.
- All right, stop! - With a needle in his arm.
Stop! This is insane.
Do you guys hear yourselves? Now.
As your new leader, I'm qualified to let No.
You know what? I'm done with the leaders, all right? 'Cause that little guy is out there God knows where, doing God knows what to whom, and I'm not gonna have Jimmy.
No.
You're spiraling, okay? Yeah.
Enough with the pepper grinder.
We're gonna come up with a plan, and we're gonna find Ben.
- Okay? - Yeah.
But I just got the - Chip.
- Fine.
Yeah.
We got to find him.
As fast as we can.
Uh, does this bus go to River Sun Casino? Do you have the fare? I have these.
It does now.
Thanks for sticking around.
It was not by choice.
You stole my purse with my keys.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm-I'm pretty sure those are gone uh, forever.
Look, I realize I did some pretty questionable things in there today, but I-I just needed a break, you know? Those kids are just a-around all the time, and nothing I do is ever good enough.
I just felt like the universe was giving me a sign.
But I see now that the sign was that I've got a gambling problem.
Yeah.
I saw that sign, too.
Do you forgive me? Maybe.
Just this once.
Okay.
Let's go home.
- Benito.
What are - Ben? What are you doing here? The universe gave me a sign.
Oh, well, that's-that's pretty undeniable, you know.
No, no, no, no, no.
When you literally just promised.
I-I know, but Th-that was before, you know? E-Everything's changed now 'cause this eh, Th-Th-this is a sure thing.
No.
You must make a choice, us or the casino.
C-Come on.
All right.
You know, I'll-I'll see you back home, 'cause I feel a heater coming on.
Mickey! - Come on.
- Jimmy, let's just call the police.
- No.
- Why not? Because I don't believe in the police.
- What? - Guys, guys.
We're wasting precious time and Ben is still out there.
You're right.
I am done with you two goofs, and I'm gonna go find him.
I'm taking the grinder with me.
No.
Jimmy! (grunting) Get off.
SABRINA: Let it go, Jimmy.
No, it's mine.
Stop it, fools.
I'm the only one worthy of its power.
Ay, come on.
Disgraceful.
Come, Benito.
JIMMY: Well, wait a minute.
Where's Mickey? Mickey didn't make it.
Let's go.
(Sabrina sighs) At least we found Ben.
Yeah, and then there's, like, a rabbit.
- And it goes around - Hey, Benito, look.
Any chance Mickey's fixing my first one? Oh, buddy, there's a better chance the other one's in a Dumpster next to your aunt.
(car horn honks) Rise and shine, ding-dongs! Get out here! Yeah! Whoa! My God.
Oh, hey, Jimmy.
- (gasps) - Aunt Mickey!? You know it, buddy.
- What's with the limo? - Oh, this thing? Oh, it's just compliments of a heater.
Holy crap.
You actually won? Oh, I won, Alba.
I won so big.
I caught a heater so massive I almost combusted on the spot.
Hey, anybody want a ride to school? - Yes.
- BEN: Yeah.
All right.
Cool! Aunt Mickey, this is awesome.
You like it? Well, I felt really bad about destroying your diorama, so I thought I would just make you a new one.
Sweet.
What'd you get for us? Nothing.
Wh-why? Did you get me something? - No.
- Then what are we talking about? I'm not sure this will fit in Ben's classroom.
Well, then we're just gonna have to bring all the kids outside, right? And I guarantee this is gonna crap all over their found objects, 'cause you found a limo.
This is the coolest diorama ever.
Yeah, it's pretty great.
I'm a bit confused what they're supposed to take away from all this, though.
Is this, is this that gambling is good? ALBA: That does not feel right.
You know, maybe it is, um, don't ever give up.
Or play till you win? Uh, it just kind of seems like she shouldn't have won.
Uh, yeah, but I did.
I did win, you know, so maybe the lesson is there is no lesson.
It's just life.
You know? Just sort of happens.
Yeah, it does.