The O.C. (2003) s01e14 Episode Script

- Previously on The O.
C.
: - What? You're driving.
Yeah, because you're drunk.
- Stop, okay? You're scaring me.
- Good.
You're scaring me.
I called the therapist.
- Mom.
- She's right, kiddo.
Therapy was part of the deal of you moving in.
I know you.
You go to Harbor, right? - Marissa Cooper.
- What's wrong with you? Your sister, do you ever hear from her? The number I have is no longer in service.
I like you.
So does she.
- Lf we don't put an end to this soon - Someone's gonna get hurt.
So maybe next time we go see a movie it won't be a three-hour period piece about boats.
They call them ships.
And I liked it.
I don't know.
Russell Crowe, he just doesn't do anything for me.
I mean, people say he's good-Iooking but I don't see it.
- I never really thought about it.
- Hey.
Only one more day left in 2003.
It's been a good year.
Yes.
My parents got divorced, my dad went bankrupt and I OD'd.
I meant for me.
I know.
I can't wait to celebrate the new year with you.
So, what do you wanna do? I heard of some parties Maybe we should take it easy after what happened at Christmas.
What happened at Christmas? It's all kind of a blur, actually.
Kidding.
Funny.
I thought we could hang here.
You know, maybe rent a couple Russell Crowe movies.
Stay in so I know you'll be safe.
I love you.
I mean l I didn't mean I Thank you.
You're welcome.
Midnight.
Curfew.
I love you.
I love you.
How hard is that to say? Saying it's easy.
Meaning it? That's the hard part.
- Who the hell are you? - It's a long story.
Who the hell are you? It doesn't work that way, dude.
It's my pool house.
Actually, dude, it's my pool house.
So this is yours.
You want it back? I got plenty, thanks.
You're Kirsten's sister Hailey, right? So you've heard of me.
I guess Kirsten remembers I actually do exist.
- She didn't say you were coming.
- She doesn't know.
Look, we'll get it all sorted out over breakfast.
The living room couch is pretty comfortable.
And Iove you too.
Hey.
What happened to you? Lady kick you to the curb? The pool house was occupied.
Your aunt.
- Hailey's here? Awesome.
- Yeah, she's Nine across, seven-letter word for Separate seats, you guys.
There's no sex in the champagne room.
- Good morning to you too.
- Morning.
Where's Hailey? - I don't know.
Thailand.
Morocco.
- I think she's planting trees in Tacoma.
Costa Rica, building churches.
I think it was Nicaragua, and they were hospitals.
- She's in the pool house.
- What are you talking about? Did you not notice Ryan sleeping on the couch? Your sister's here.
Wait, wait.
You saw her you were talking to her, or? Did she say why she was here? I have two guesses.
Either she's run out of money or she's run out of money.
Three-letter word for hilarious? "Dad.
" Write that down.
- She is probably out of money, though.
- Hailey's here.
Hey, guys.
Guess who's back.
Hello, Hailey.
Aunt Hailey.
Later, when you're dressed, we'll hug.
Seth.
Robe.
Her.
Now.
There you are.
- Happy New Year, everyone.
- Happy New Year.
Hi.
We would have come and picked you up at the airport or the train station.
- Or the border.
Yeah, well, it was late, and my cell phone got shut off.
When you ran out of money? So you're gonna stay with us.
For some time? I'm gonna make up the guest bedroom.
Bedding, sheets, now.
Married 17 years, the first things that go are the full sentences.
Welcome back.
Thanks.
Looking good, nephew Seth.
Thank you.
Puberty happened.
- It's been that long? - It sure has.
Be glad you missed it.
Check this out though.
Chest hair.
And a new friend.
Yeah, that's Ryan.
He's He's kind of a long story.
So now that you're a man, what are the New Year's Eve plans? Got any girls to kiss? I had two.
And now I have none.
But it's cool.
- Because I swore off women.
- Right.
I took myself off the market.
I'll do whatever Ryan and Marissa do.
Marissa.
The short chick next door? No.
Puberty happened.
She's a Laker.
Sounds like Ryan and Marissa won't do much because of three little words Ryan couldn't say.
- Where's the Frosted Flakes? - That's four.
"I love you.
" Shut up.
Ryan, Marissa said that to you? - Okay, what did you say? - "Thank you.
" Well, guess we'll be staying in tonight.
Carson Daly and a ball dropping.
There's two images that should never be said in the same sentence.
Nice of the doctors to keep the offices open today with all our resolutions to analyze before they're broken.
Yeah, it was nice of them.
So, what are they? Your resolutions that you're never gonna keep.
Give me one.
At least one.
I'm gonna eat more vegetables.
Wow.
You and the doc really went deep.
- What about dairy? Grains? - Actually, we feel good about the grains.
And tonight, New Year's Eve, you're a social chair.
I'm sure you've organized several events.
- Ferris wheels, balloon animals? - Done that.
So, what's the deal? You ask a lot of questions.
One of us has to.
What are you doing? Well, now that you've asked I'm having a party at my place.
You live in the Four Seasons? Come by and I'll explain everything.
Yeah, maybe we will.
"We," as in you and your friend? My boyfriend, Ryan.
He wants to stay in.
He's not as social.
My girlfriend's the same way.
Natalie.
But she'll be there.
I can meet him, you can meet her.
- It's a party.
- Yeah.
Hopefully I'll see you there.
There'll be veggies.
No painkillers.
But crudit Ás, some celery, dip.
Well, as long as there's dip.
Can we focus for a moment? On the fact that you've gotten matronly in the last two years? Two years is what I want to focus on.
What am I gonna wear tonight? A little Ann Taylor, little Ralph Lauren.
Oh, my God.
Is this from Talbots? It was a gift.
Haven't you been living in hostels, out of a backpack wearing hemp clothes? - That was last year, Kiki.
Don't call me Kiki.
Only Dad calls me Kiki.
And only because he won't not.
- You do remember Dad, don't you? - I have a vague recollection.
Well, wait till he hears you're back.
You know, I was gonna tell him in due time.
You have two weeks before he gets back from Paris with Julie Cooper.
Dad and Julie Cooper? At least he's dating somebody my age, not yours.
How does Jimmy Cooper feel about this? Pretty good now that they're getting a divorce.
- Things have picked up.
You know, I should come back more often.
Hailey, what are your plans exactly? - Ladies.
So I'm gonna go - Surfing? Fun.
Where? - At the spot by the place.
- Four-footers.
I heard that too.
- Sunglasses? - Yeah, I was just gonna ask you.
Kitchen.
So tonight? Yeah, what time should I make the reservations? - Eight? - Eight.
- Perfect.
Table? - The usual.
- I love you.
- You too.
What? You guys are like married.
- Well, that was the idea.
- When we had our wedding? - No, I mean, like deeply, deeply married.
Forget it.
Anyway, so tonight you guys Are going to dinner at the Arches.
We do it every year.
Home in time to watch Dick Clark and the ball drop.
Two images that shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It's too bad you're busy tonight.
I know this really great party where you guys would have, like, actual fun.
But I understand.
You're boring now.
I am not boring.
- Hey, baby, I can't find - Keys? - Check your - Pants.
You're good.
Gucci.
Now we're talking.
- And I will be wearing this.
- To the Arches? That's kind of fancy.
Hey, Sandy, after our annual dinner, how do you feel about a party? We're not going to a party.
We made plans.
- To do nothing.
- Who's Oliver? A guy from therapy.
Hey, there'll be crudit Ás.
And dip.
Sorry.
I guess it's more of an inside joke.
Between you and Oliver? You guys have inside jokes? It'll be fun.
There'll be people.
As opposed to here, where it'll just be us.
I thought you wanted to do nothing.
- Yeah, well, that was before - Right.
Before I - What? - Because I didn't say - What? - When you said - What? - Never mind.
So are you going? I'm staying here, watching movies.
Like we agreed.
- Okay.
Well, if you change your mind - So you're going? Like I said.
Yep.
Happy New Year.
Happy New Year.
You know what you did? You know what you did? You blew it, buddy.
Almost as bad as I did.
But you know what? We're both single now, it's a new year.
We should join Friendster, meet new people.
We didn't break up.
It's just New Year's Eve.
Only the most important chick holiday besides Valentine's Day.
- Why don't you just go to this party? - Because we had plans, and Because, I mean, who's Oliver? Okay.
As long as you're clear on your motivation.
- Okay, we're gonna go.
- Do you guys need anything? Yes.
Ryan needs a tear in the space-time continuum so he can go back and say "I love you" to Marissa.
She said "I love you"? - So what did you say back? - "Thank you.
" - Thank you.
- Well, that was polite.
That's what I said.
- You guys have fun.
- See you.
- I love you guys.
- Thank you.
- You guys look hot.
- Hey, don't sound so surprised.
Let's go.
Move it out.
I don't want to see you crazy kids back here before 2.
Thanks for this.
When we get back, we'll talk about your plan and how long you're here.
And why.
You're okay about tonight? I'm just gonna catch up with some friends.
Don't worry about me.
- You guys deserve to have some fun.
- I couldn't agree more.
Let's go.
- Happy New Year.
- Thanks.
What are you guys doing here? You're not even dressed.
I know.
I told you.
We're not going out.
Carson Daly.
Balls.
- I thought you were being sarcastic.
- Usually a safe assumption.
- Where's your lady friend? - Out at a party.
Your girlfriend's at a New Year's Eve party alone? She's not alone.
She's with some guy named Oliver.
- You've gotten really glib.
- You guys broke up.
We're just not spending New Year's Eve together.
You know what they say, the way you spend New Year's Eve is the way you'll spend the rest of the year.
So, at the countdown to midnight, when she's looking for someone to kiss and you're playing video games about pirates - Ninjas.
and it's like, 10, nine, eight and she's all alone, when she sees this guy Oliver.
Seven, six, five.
Fireworks start, music swells.
Four, three.
People are pairing off.
Who's she gonna kiss? Two, one.
- You guys look hot.
- Too hot? Because I'm trying to keep a low profile these days.
- Thanks for getting me out of the house.
- Hey, you're part of the family and we look out for our own.
Now, let's go.
Come on.
Out.
- You wanna come? - No.
I'm gonna hang out.
Take it easy, lay low.
All right.
Hailey Nichol! - Taking it easy? - Laying low? Just a couple of friends.
This is gonna be totally fun.
We're at the penthouse of the Four Seasons.
I know.
It's just you know? Coop, the way you spend your New Year's Eve is the way you're gonna spend the rest of the year.
- It is? - Yeah.
And you're not gonna think of Ryan.
And I am so not thinking of Seth Cohen and how pathetic it is that he's staying home probably playing, like, a stupid video game about like, pirates or ninjas or something.
Oh, right.
The Four Seasons.
Penthouse.
It's undeniable.
- Hey, people I know.
- Where? Hey, Anna.
What are you doing here? My parents are friends of the parents of the guy who's throwing this.
- You know Oliver? - Who? Hey, you made it.
Come on, I'll show you around.
Okay.
So where's Seth? I don't know.
Why don't you tell me? I don't know, and I don't care.
Me either.
Seth Cohen is, like, so 2003.
And in, like, 74 minutes, I'll never have to think about him again.
- Seventy-three.
- Even better.
Skinny-dipping! Oh, God, dudes.
Okay, that's a lot of genitalia in my pool.
- We should go.
- We can't.
What about the Marissa-Oliver countdown thing? That was before I took a faceful of Dom.
I can't leave Hailey.
The place will get trashed.
She's insane.
- You said she was awesome.
- Insanely awesome.
- So tell her.
Party's over.
- Right.
Except I don't want to be the dad.
Listen, telling my aunt she can't have a party is embarrassing.
You do it.
- It's your house.
- Right.
And it's your girlfriend with Oliver.
I'm helping track your motivation.
- She's part of your family.
- Cohens are known for conflict avoidance.
But Atwoods, they thrive on it.
You're the man for this.
- I'm not gonna win this argument.
- No.
Right.
Hey, no ball dropping till midnight, okay? Thanks.
That's what I was talking about.
Wait for me.
In one quarter of a mile, turn left.
What's going on? Nothing.
Are we in a rut? That's nothing? No, we're not in a rut.
We're in a marriage.
It's just We finish each other's sentences, we know what the other's thinking.
- That's my favorite part.
- I own a sweater from Talbots.
That was a gift.
Look, I don't think anybody would think we're boring.
But do we need to take more chances? In 400 feet, turn left.
Yes, we do need to take more chances.
GPS lady says turn left I'm going right.
Sandy, don't.
No, you can't stop me.
No one can.
Hang on.
Here we go.
When possible, please make a U-turn.
No.
No, I won't.
I will not.
Sandy, please.
Baby, we're living on the edge, honey.
We're living on the edge.
We're not living on the edge, we're getting lost.
Would you just listen to the GPS lady? When possible, please make a U-turn.
Thank God.
Because you know I I hate to defy the GPS lady, because she gets so cross.
- Do you think we're fun? - Yeah, I do.
Come on.
Your sister is so up inside your head, it's nuts.
No one's as fun as Hailey.
I mean, that's her calling in life.
She's 10 pounds of fun in a 5-pound bag.
- What does that mean? - It means she's fun.
You know, she's a Nichol.
She's a pot stirrer, a ball buster, a button pusher.
- She is pushing your buttons.
- That she is.
We're going to a party where we don't know anyone.
Anything could happen.
- That's true.
- That's fun.
Why don't we skip dinner and just go to that party? When possible, please make a U-turn.
You are dangerous.
Hey, so this is a cool place to have a party.
Yeah? Well, my parents own a bunch of them.
- Hotel rooms? - Hotels.
I've never had these before.
They are excellent.
Of course, these are virgins.
They won't take the edge off, they won't numb the pain.
- But they're fun to say.
Mojito.
- Mojito.
- Mojito.
- Mojito.
Hey, you know, just because I'm not drinking doesn't mean you can't.
Yes.
But then my sponsor would be so disappointed in me.
Clean and sober 11 months.
You did meet me in therapy.
So where's Ryan? He's not here.
I can see that.
So when do I get to meet Natalie? Yeah.
She's not here.
- What happened? - Long story.
Long-distance relationship.
You know, those are always so fraught with peril.
Anyway, she's a freshman at Arizona.
- An older woman? - Not really.
She had the benefit of not getting kicked out of three schools in three years.
Makes it a whole lot easier to graduate on time.
But as for me, now I'm doing senior year, again.
And she's doing her freshman thing.
You know, having fun, partying.
And I don't think she wants to be in a serious relationship anymore.
And you love her? - Have you told her? - Of course.
All the time.
- To Ryan? - To Natalie.
- We can have fun without them, right? - I hope so.
Not the inspiring answer I was looking for, but I'll take it.
Look, I get it.
I get that you're upset, okay? - One minute.
- I need to talk to you.
I said, one minute.
- Just hear me out.
- I don't know why you're back.
- You still owe me $3000.
- I know.
I'll get it back to you.
That's what you said two years ago.
- What, did your trust fund run out? - I was gonna ask you the same thing.
So you're back to make a withdrawal from your dad.
Then you'll split again? I don't need this.
You're supposed to be my friend.
You don't have any friends left.
You burned all those bridges.
It doesn't look like it from tonight.
Or everybody knows no one throws a rager like Hailey Nichol.
You're looking for some good blow, clean speed This conversation is over.
You want to go, then go.
Not without my three grand.
You better hope that Cameo doesn't show up, after what you did to Alex.
Goodbye.
Hey.
Do you think it's time we end this? No, I don't.
Well, maybe the cops will.
So what? You're, like, a narc now? Fine.
Let's just talk about this.
This place isn't so rocking.
I mean, we're way more fun than these people.
This is Hailey's big party? I just hope there's a deviled egg.
I'm starving.
Kirsten.
Oh, my God, I can't believe you're here.
I had no idea you were so much fun.
Yeah.
Hi, Taryn.
- You know my husband, Sandy.
- Hi.
- Well, if I don't now, I might at midnight.
- Hello.
Go ahead, Sandy.
Put your watch in the bowl.
Whoever ends up with him is gonna be one lucky lady.
- Oh, my God.
- I think we're at a swingers party.
I'm gonna kill Hailey.
We can still make dinner, can't we? - Oh, yeah.
We're leaving.
- We can't stay here, can we? We're not in this big a rut.
- You think we're in a rut.
You just said it.
- Where is that deviled egg? I mean, we don't have the nerve to stick this out.
- No, we don't.
So let's go.
- We couldn't possibly stay, could we? Hey, we can stay.
- I dare you.
- Don't dare me unless you mean it.
- I dare you.
Double dare.
- Okay.
- Go ahead.
- You got three seconds to stop me.
Uno.
Dos.
Tres.
- We'll be chlorinating for weeks.
- Let's just go somewhere private to talk.
Without getting the cops involved.
I know your mom's gonna kill me and I'm really sorry but it's New Year's Eve.
And we're having a party.
Hey! Great.
This is just great.
- Oh, God.
This isn't good.
- You think? - I can't breathe.
- What? - I'm claustrophobic.
- Seth, this place is huge.
- It has a kitchen and a bathroom.
- Don't use up all the oxygen.
- Want a sandwich? A shower? - We're gonna die, and I'm the glib one? I sleep here.
Three of the walls are windows.
Yes, looking out on naked dudes.
We're trapped like rats.
Rats in a pool house! By the way, your aunt's cool.
Yeah, I know.
She's a little unpredictable.
My shirt's strangling me.
Great.
My girlfriend's kissing some guy, and I'm stuck here with a lunatic.
I know.
The first one of these can be a little challenging.
The key? Drink a lot.
I'm just easing into it.
It's worth it.
New Year's Eve 1998, this party saved my marriage.
My marriage doesn't need saving.
We're not in trouble.
Sure.
Not trouble.
Just a rut.
I know.
I was there.
We're not in a rut.
So many of us just sleepwalk through our own lives.
We don't even know we're asleep till somebody wakes us up.
I'm up.
Take a chance.
What's the worst that could happen? One evening of crazy sex with a total stranger.
In college, that was a Thursday night.
For you, maybe.
You ask me, your husband's having a lot of fun for someone who's not in a rut.
Here's to you.
Feel like drinking? No.
Not really.
You? No.
I'm sorry.
He was probably smiling at you.
No, your eye lines totally matched.
You should go.
No.
No, no.
He's clearly interested in you.
You think? That was all you.
No.
Too close to call.
We're not ringing in '04 the same way we spent '03.
- I'm on the case.
Come on.
- No, you can't just go up to him.
Hi.
We were wondering, who were you smiling at? Me or her? - You're both cute.
- No, not happening.
Okay? One or the other.
You have to choose between us.
Someone has to choose between us.
You know what, Summer? It's okay.
You can have him.
Anna, look.
Seth Cohen just wants to be our friend.
I don't know anything about this guy - Hi.
I'm Allan, from Tulsa, Oklahoma.
- Yeah, don't care.
All I know is, this guy doesn't want to just be my friend.
He's really not my type.
Go for it.
What's your type? Seth Cohen? I'm through.
Right.
And we have crudit Ás as promised.
So now I have to eat them? Not until midnight.
So, question.
When you asked me if I ever told Natalie I loved her it struck me as an interesting question.
Revealing.
- You should be a therapist.
- So, what you said it to him, and he didn't say it back? He said: "Thank you.
" At least he's polite.
I'm getting another mojito.
- You want one? - Yeah.
Maybe I just overreacted, you know? I mean, maybe he didn't say it because he just wasn't ready.
Yeah, or because, you know.
Because he doesn't love me.
Oh, hey, no.
No.
What do I know? I don't even know the guy.
Don't listen to me.
I traveled to see the Alaskan blue heron.
I had no idea that that involved so much travel.
An ornithologist.
That's fascinating.
Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt.
Hey, I'm ready to go.
Was this fun or what? Sandy Cohen.
Pleasure swinging with you.
We're leaving? I'm just starting to have fun.
Did you know Bob studies birds? Birds? Bob, that's great.
Listen, if we hurry, I think we can still get our table.
I wanna stay.
- Bye, Bob.
- Maybe I'll see you later.
- What are you doing? - I'm having fun.
What, discussing the pigeon with Bob? Hailey has so gotten under your skin.
- No.
This is not about Hailey.
- Oh, no? No.
Maybe we needed to do this.
Maybe we need to do something dangerous.
Maybe we are in a rut, and we didn't even know it.
- So you want to swing? - I'm swinging.
Heidi.
You have got to finish telling me about the Galapagos Islands.
What a wild place.
Forty-five minutes to midnight.
If I ever get out of here, your aunt is dead.
- Hey, Ryan.
- Yeah? I have to ask you.
Why didn't you just say it? I don't know.
Because I never have.
But you do, right? I guess.
I don't know.
How do you know? I just think you know.
I don't know.
Yeah, I do.
Why didn't you choose? I mean, you had to like one more than the other, right? But now I don't deserve either, because I blew it.
Me too.
I'm optimistic about this Friendster thing, though.
Forty-three minutes.
- Hi.
- Hailey mad good party once again.
- Thanks for coming.
Happy New Year.
Where is that bitch? I can't believe she'd even show her face in Newport.
Cami, I don't know, okay? - I need help.
- Fresh oxygen.
So you locked us in, and now you want our help? - Pretty much, yes.
- No.
I'm leaving.
Wait, there's a girl out there that wants to kill me.
Just one? There's a girl who will kill me if I don't get there in 39 minutes.
- Okay, but please help me shut this down.
- I'm not helping you.
Fine.
Then she's gonna tear this house apart.
Do it for Sandy and Kirsten.
Let's go.
We gotta clear this party out.
It's what I do best.
- Good night.
- Thanks for coming.
What did you do? - We shut off the power.
- Told them the cops were coming.
- I gotta go.
- Go ahead.
I'll clean up.
- You sure? - Yes.
Go.
Thirty-one minutes.
I hope I can make it.
Me too.
Come on, everybody.
It's 11:30.
We need to make our selection so we have someone new to ring in the new year with.
Since this is Evelyn's house, we'll let her pick first.
Evie? Way to go, Bob.
Okay.
I hope you have some better luck.
I don't get it.
Everyone else got picked.
What happened to my watch? It better be in your pants.
Come on, swinger.
Let's go home.
Traffic is looking pretty bad on the 73.
New Year's Eve is always ugly on the road.
Luckily it's almost over.
Hey.
I'm gonna take off.
You are? So close to midnight? Yeah, yeah.
I don't wanna be here.
It's too depressing.
- Happy New Year.
- Thanks.
Hey.
How you doing? I know it sounds stupid, but I keep looking back at the door thinking maybe he'll show up in time.
Yeah.
I keep hoping to see Natalie.
Sadly, I think it's just us tonight.
But, hey, at least we have each other.
- I think we're in the wrong house.
- I don't.
What the hell happened? I don't know enough people to cause this much damage.
So how was the party? - What did you do? - Nothing that can't be undone.
A little Palmolive, some elbow grease.
Seth and I have it covered.
Nobody mentioned elbow grease.
Seth.
Garbage.
Out.
Now.
I look forward to waking up to a clean house tomorrow.
Good night, Sandy.
I'm gonna get back to the dishes.
You don't walk away from me.
You're not Mom.
You can't talk to me that way.
This is my house, my upside-down couch! I will talk to you any way that I want.
I should really learn to knock in case there's a threesome going on in my bedroom.
You can't keep living your life like this, like you have no responsibility.
Like you're still a child.
What used to be cute is now embarrassing.
I'm sorry.
The party got a little out of hand.
People your age, they have finished college they have jobs, they're married.
Look.
In the morning I'll take off.
I am not asking you to leave.
I just want you to grow up! It's a new year.
You can make a new start.
Why? So I can grow up to be just like you? Working for Dad, selling McMansions planning charity events with the Newpsies? Hey.
I love my life my family, my rut.
You spend so much time putting energy into having fun, your whole life is dedicated to having fun.
Are you even having any? - I'll help you clean up.
- I don't want your help.
I'll finish in the morning.
I'm going to bed.
Anna? Hey.
I didn't want you to be alone on New Year's.
Actually I didn't want to be alone on New Year's.
Well, I'm not alone.
I have Captain Oats and Carson Daly, so Oh, wow.
That's an unbeatable combination.
I'll go.
Wait.
Captain Oats had too much champagne and Carson Daly's kind of a ginormous tool.
So I could use the company.
Twenty seconds.
Ten.
Nine.
Eight.
Seven.
Six.
Five.
You're not Seth Cohen.
Who's Seth Cohen? I wasn't I wasn't talking to you.
I gotta go.
Happy New Year.
- I love you.
- What? I love you.
Thank you.