The Villains Of Valley View (2022) s01e14 Episode Script

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
Well, today is the big day.
Oh, a little nip and tuck?
- Finally getting in shape?
- Getting even with your barber?
If you're trying to hurt
my feelings, it's working.
A major viewing of the new principal.
Finally, gonna upgrade from
substitute science teacher
to full-time.
Whoa, do we have a say in this?
Yeah. I think I speak
for the entire school
when I say that two days
of you a month is plenty.
Well, too bad, because
I really want this,
since I can't be Kraniac anymore
and I can't use my superior intelligence
for its intended purpose.
Or failing students and
rubbing it in their faces.
No. Inspiring the youth of tomorrow.
Wow, I didn't see that one coming.
By showing them how
smart a human can be.
[SIGHS] Don't you have enough toys
in your lair to keep your mind busy?
No. But I did just
complete my latest project.
Check it out.
If anyone ever discovers
our villain secret,
this is going to come in real handy.
This is memory erase gas.
I'd like to erase my
memory when you have gas.
Yeah. That's the last time
I ever shape-shift
into a couch cushion.
When inhaled, this will temporarily
erase every memory in a person's head,
which will give us a
head start out of town
before anyone can report us.
I also created a dizzy gas, a
sleeping gas, and a truth gas,
all part of the clever
gas collection by Vic.
I'm sorry. Are you trying to protect us
or sell holiday gift sets at the mall?
Well, I'm gonna put
these away and head out.
I wanna get to the teacher's lounge
before Ms. Billford
snags the last bagel.
I swear that woman could sniff out
a pumpernickel from two towns over.
I wish I had his
confidence at my new job.
I thought you liked working
at The Round-Up taco truck.
I do. But the manager wants me
to work on my customer service. [SCOFFS]
I'm sorry but if you
want your food fast,
I ain't going to order it for you.
Oh, and to make matters worse,
there's a mystery
shopper showing up today.
What's a mystery shopper?
A picky customer who comes
in and evaluates our service,
and reports back to management.
The mystery is you
don't know who they are.
So basically a tattletale who gets paid?
- Exactly.
- AMY: [SCOFFS]
I struck out at the job fair.
I lasted a day at the pizza place.
I cannot lose another job. [INHALES]
If I just make it
through the second day,
I know it'll stick.
Well, Mom, guess what?
- Hmm?
- I got a work study job
at The Round-Up, and I start today,
so I can help you with your
customer service skills.
Jakey, well, that's great.
Oh, now, when I get mad
and throw guacamole at someone,
I will just blame it on you.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
[SCOFFS] There you are.
We're gonna be late.
For what? We still have an
hour before school starts.
You know how I've been
trying to get tickets
for this weekend's
sold-out Fuchsia concert?
What the heck is a Fuchsia?
You know that music I play to drown out
the sound of your voice? That's her.
Anyway, I heard they're
doing a last-minute drop
of tickets down at the arena.
If we go down there
fast, we might get some.
Now? But we'll be late for school.
Oh, but I do wanna see Fuchsia.
But if we're late, I'll get detention.
She never comes to Texas.
Oh, but if I get detention,
then it'll break my streak
of never getting detention
How about we just go do this
and make all the voices
in your head happy.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
[LAUGHS] We got the tickets.
We got the tickets.
Oh, I can't believe we beat
out all those people in line.
Yeah. No, once I hip
checked that first guy,
the rest just fell like dominoes.
I've never been so alive. [CHUCKLES]
Wait. Where is everyone?
[SCOFFS] Oh, no. We're
four minutes late.
This is what I get for losing myself
in a moment of joyous enthusiasm.
Hartley, I'm a pro at sneaking in.
Trust me, no one's
gonna know we're late.
COLBY: No one except me.
You're not the only
pro at sneaking in late.
I do it all the time.
And it's a lot easier now
that I can turn invisible,
since, you know, chosen one.
Wait. You go to the school?
Yeah. I'm a freshman.
I just missed a couple months
when I was stuck in
my shape-shifting loop.
But I haven't seen you here since then.
Yeah, 'cause now I'm in
a school skipping loop.
But that's on purpose. See you.
Busted!
Mr. Tennyson?
That's Principal Tennyson to you.
Wait. You're our new principal?
I was just promoted
from vice principal at East Valley View.
This is the culmination
of a 20-year career
in school administration,
but, sure, act surprised.
And I run a tight ship. That's right.
There's a new sheriff in town.
That was a lot of metaphors.
And that's a lot of lip
from two girls who just got detention.
[SCOFFS] What? No.
I never get detention.
Can't you let it slide? [CHUCKLES]
Let me be clear.
I know you all think
of me as your fun-loving
and "down with the teens" neighbor.
Oh, I wouldn't say that.
But within these walls,
make no mistake about it,
I am not your princi-pal.
[CHUCKLES] Huh?
See what I did there?
If not, I'll break it
down for you in detention.
[SCOFFS] Great.
I'm officially a perp.
Big deal. You got your first detention.
It's not like you actually
have to go or anything.
- Of course, you have to go.
- Really?
Oh, well, that explains why
they've been giving me detention
for not going to detention. [SCOFFS]
Hey, you two should be in class,
unless you popped out to
wish me luck on my interview,
which I don't need, because
scientifically luck isn't real,
which you'd know if you
were as smart as me. [SCOFFS]
Can't wait to meet the new principal.
He's gonna love me.
Well, if it isn't, Mr. Madden.
- Please tell me that isn't
- Oh, it is.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
Oh, you want me to refill your drink?
[CHUCKLES] You haven't
finished this one yet.
Fine. One refill coming up.
Hmm.
Mom, that's salsa.
I like to call this one
the ghost pepper spritz.
[CHUCKLES] Sorry.
She's not good with, uh people.
I'll bring a new one.
What are you doing?
The mystery shopper
could be here any minute.
You have to be in your best behavior.
Now, what's another way
you could've handled that?
- Dump the salsa on his head?
- No.
- Dumb the soda on his head?
- [SCOFFS] No.
Dump the hot nacho cheese on his head?
You can't dump anything
on anyone's head.
- I thought you wanted this job?
- I do.
Then you need to control
your villain instincts.
The trick is to pretend
that you like the customers
even if you hate them.
Oh, so swallow my feelings here,
take it out on my family later?
Something like that. Just
make sure I'm not home.
Oh, thank you.
Here is your order, sir.
Have a taco-tastic day.
You did it.
You told him to have a taco-tastic day
and I can tell you
didn't mean it at all.
Oh, maybe I can do this.
Oh, look, a new customer just sat down.
See if you can keep it going.
Oh, uh-hmm, no problem.
- Welcome to The
Round-Up. - About time.
Celia, hi. [CHUCKLES]
What brings you here?
- Do you sell tacos?
- Yes.
Then, you solved the riddle.
[LAUGHS] Yay.
Uh, what can I get you?
I'll have the taco but can
you crumble up the shell
and sprinkle it on top of some lettuce?
- So you want a taco salad?
- Did I order a taco salad?
It certainly sounded like you did.
Are you saying I'm ordering wrong?
Because Celia is always right.
Isn't it the customer is always right?
Not today.
Hey. I'm sorry about
getting us detention
this morning, but
I think I found a way
to make things right.
Colby, that's your cue.
Sorry.
I have so many powers now I
forgot which one I was using.
You wouldn't get it.
Chosen one problems.
I had Colby use his invisibility
to duck out of last period
and go grab the gases my dad made.
Anything for my sister.
You are paying me in video games, right?
- Yes.
- Anything for my sister.
This stuff temporarily
wipes someone's memory.
One whiff and Tennyson
will forget he even gave you detention.
But if it's only temporary,
then he'll remember when it wears off.
Well, I can't think
of everything, Hartley.
I just came up
with the perfect way to
win over Principal Tennyson.
Hey, why are your
hands behind your back?
Oh, I love this game. I choose that one.
[GLASS BREAKS]
[SMOKE HISSING]
[COUGHING]
[SNIFFLES]
- Who are you?
- Oh, no.
All right, Mr. Madden.
Time for your interview.
We could do it right here.
I just lavender bombed my office
to get rid of the old principal's BO.
It's like it clung to the walls.
- Mr. Madden.
- You better find Mr. Madden.
This sounds important.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
Uh, Mr. Madden, the interview.
You're a science teacher.
Did you forget the
formula for being on time?
How long will it take for
that stuff to wear off?
I don't know. Dad,
how long does it take?
- Who are you calling Dad?
- It's gonna take a while.
Tick tock. These questions
aren't gonna answer themselves.
It takes two to interview.
Colby, you have to shape-shift into Dad
and do the interview
with Principal Tennyson.
I don't know how to be a teacher.
I barely know how to be a student.
Look, you're a lot smarter
than Dad is right now.
Come on, Colby. Help me out.
Fine. But you owe me
a new gaming console.
Whatever. Just do it.
What is taking so long?
Hartley, you gotta help me.
Why are you roping me into this?
Because getting this
job means a lot to my dad
and I don't wanna be
the reason he loses it.
[SCOFFS] Fine. I'll help.
Great. Throw him in
the janitor's closet.
Why?
Um because you're the janitor!
Wait. I'm a dad and a janitor?
Where do I find the time?
All right, Mr. Madden.
That's me. Boom. Nailed it.
Okay.
Why do you think you'll
be a good fulltime teacher?
A lot of reasons.
Oh, I have to say them?
No. We can play hangman
and I'll guess them.
Cool. I'll go sharpen my pencil.
[LAUGHING] You're gonna need
to sharpen more than a pencil.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
I'm trying to be nice,
but see her keep
sending her orders back?
She's as demanding as that baby
that used to beg me
for bedtime snuggles.
Yeah. Colby was annoying.
I was talking about you.
Wait. If Celia's being picky,
specific, and demanding,
she must be the mystery shopper.
Oh, you're right. What do I do?
It's just Celia. You
can totally handle her.
She's practically family.
Okay. And she does have
a key, eats our food,
and sometimes sleeps
in our beds. [CHUCKLES]
Oh, she's either family or Goldilocks.
So how does it all taste, Cels?
- Yeah. Third time's the charm.
- It's actually the fifth time.
- Who's counting?
- I am.
There's a bunch of four
leaf clovers in the salsa.
Yeah, but that's cilantro.
You specifically requested
the pico de gallo.
Well, I don't like it so
why don't you pick it out-o?
Jakey, we might have
to go on the run again,
but this time, it'll be worth it.
I know Celia is driving you crazy,
but if she gives you a
good mystery shopper report,
you'll definitely keep your job.
Oh, I suppose you're right.
Why don't I take care of Celia
and show you how it's done, all right?
- Hey, Celia.
- Not today, Taco Boy.
Okay. I locked your dad
in the junior's closet.
- Did anyone see you?
- Just the janitor.
But he's weirdly cool with it.
Yeah. He lets me hide in
there in between classes.
He's very generous with the space.
So, Mr. Madden, where do
you see yourself in 10 years?
Professional skateboarder
who also teaches.
Did I get that one right?
You know, I never do
this mid-interview,
but let's take a break.
[CHUCKLES] You can come up
with better answers to my questions
and I can go use my temple ticklers
to get rid of the headache I
got when you started speaking.
[SIGH]
I don't know how much more
of playing dad I can take.
Being that cocky really
takes a lot out of you.
Get this. There was another
janitor in the closet
and he said I wasn't a
janitor, so I swiped his mop.
Who's the janitor now?
Okay. This isn't working.
Maybe there's an antidote
on one of the vials.
Cool. What's that one do?
- Amy, stop. No more gas.
- No!
- Truth gas?
- Oh, no.
Amy, what have we done?
Well, I don't know about you but
I can tell you what I've done.
I lost the TV remote
and blamed it on Jakey,
Colby's lunch and I
said a pigeon took it,
and I spent the entire night
rifling through your house
while you were sleeping.
That felt good but why did I say that?
Great. The truth gas is
making her confess everything,
which means she could
blow your family secret.
Normally, I'd say the
truth will set you free,
but this time, it
might get you locked up.
Oh, Principal Tennyson is back.
Colby, get back to the interview.
I'll get your dad out of here.
Uh-oh. Gum. I better get that.
Amy, why don't you join us?
Maybe you can tell me why
we should promote your father
'cause he sure can't.
Oh, I'll tell you
whatever you need to know,
starting with that's
not really my father.
Oh, I wasn't expecting
daddy drama on my first day.
Did you just say this isn't your father?
What she meant is she sees Mr. Madden
as an educator first and a dad second.
Mr. Madden, I have to be honest.
Your resume says one
thing but you say nothing.
I don't see how any student
could learn anything from you.
Yeah. To be honest, I don't either.
- [SCOFFS]
- HARTLEY: [LAUGHS]
Oh, Amy, such a joker.
Thanks. I get it from
my dad, who he is not.
[SQUEAKY] What is happening?
Oh.
Mr. Madden, you need to get out of here.
- Why?
- I know this may be hard
to believe but you're an
evil genius supervillain
and your son shape-shifted
into you to save your job
because you made a gas
that erases your memory.
Well, if I'm such a genius,
why am I holding a mop?
Okay. You know what?
You are the janitor. [CHUCKLES]
Oh, look. Runaway trash can.
And that is how you turn
pocket lint into gold.
All right. I've heard enough.
You don't seem to be a
qualified teacher at all.
Of course, he is.
There's gotta be something
he can do to convince you.
Well, maybe Mr. Madden is
more of a visual teacher.
Perhaps he could impress
me with a demonstration.
You know, a little science experiment.
Uh, yeah. Let's fire
up the bunion burner.
Do you mean Bunsen burner?
Uh, sure.
[CHUCKLES] He is not sure.
Wow, Cels, did I get this one correct?
Looks like you've eaten half your food.
Well, I gotta eat something
while I'm waiting for you
to get my order right.
Now, hurry up before I
fill up on the wrong one.
That's it.
We are out of plates.
I am out of patience.
Besides [CLEARS THROAT]
I know who you are.
I was I was young. I
didn't know what I was doing.
All I did was hand him a trash bag.
- What?
- What?
No. You you're the mystery shopper.
That's why you've been
dissecting how I'm doing my job.
Mystery shopper?
Do I look like someone who
keeps my opinion a mystery?
- Well, if you're not, who is?
- How should I know?
I'm just a friendly woman who's
still waiting on her churro.
You did not order a churro.
I didn't order a taco salad
either but here we are.
That's it. I'm done.
I just I'm not cut out for this job.
This wasn't a table
for two but go ahead.
I think it's pretty obvious
that I can't do anything right.
Look, you're doing fine.
Most waiters quit after serving me.
Oh, actually, most waiters
quit while serving me.
So if you've hung in this
long, you got what it takes.
Thanks, Cels.
Hey, maybe I can make this work.
I mean, if I can handle
you, I can handle anyone.
That's the spirit.
- Still waiting on that churro.
- Oh.
Well, you're looking happier.
[CHUCKLES] Celia and
I had a heart to heart.
Or one empty chest cavity to another.
[LAUGHS] Hey, anyway,
turns out, she's not
the mystery shopper.
The only mystery about her
is what was in that trash bag.
Oh, well, guess what?
The manager told me a couple hours ago
that the real mystery shopper canceled.
What?
- Why didn't you tell me?
- Because you
you were doing so well with Celia.
I didn't wanna mess that up.
You're thinking of
dumping salsa on my head,
- aren't you?
- No.
- Soda?
- No.
- Hot nacho cheese?
- We have a winner.
Wow, that's a lot of stuff.
What kind of experiment are you doing?
It's a surprise.
I hate surprises, especially
at the doctor's office.
Didn't know we were doing that today.
I have powers.
- Excuse me.
- She said she has flowers.
No. I'm pretty sure
she said powers. [GASPS]
Let me guess.
You're one of those wannabe witches.
I swear you teen girls
watch one scary movie
and you all think you're possessed.
Principal Tennyson, any chance
we could do the experiment tomorrow?
No way.
I was promised an experiment
and if Mr. Madden wants
this job, he better hurry up.
Don't worry. I'm on it.
- I fight superheroes.
- What?
Sure you do, honey.
I'm gonna go get the school counselor.
Oh, no. You don't have to do that.
[EXPLOSION]
- Uh-oh. -
[CHUCKLES]
I should have known this would happen.
Mr. Madden, I take
my job very seriously.
Not only are you not fit
to be a full-time teacher,
you're not fit to be a sub.
Wait. That's a Fuchsia ringtone.
- You like her?
- Of course.
Who doesn't?
You know, I tried to get
tickets to her concert this week
but they were completely
sold out and wait.
You're trying to distract
me from the matter at hand.
This man is a fraud.
Mr. Madden, I'm sorry
but we won't be needing
- your services anymore.
- Wait.
This job means a lot to my dad
and I don't want him to lose it
because of me. I care about him.
That's why and I love my
dad. Why can I stop talking?
[SCOFFS] Listen. Um,
I'll give you two tickets
to the Fuchsia concert
if you could help us out.
- Uh, one ticket.
- Do you wanna go with him?
Two tickets.
Right. Like you'd be
able to get [GASPS]
It's like looking at two
glittery bars of gold.
They're yours if you'll help us out.
I can't accept bribes. [GASPS]
But if I don't do anything for you,
then technically it's a gift.
So thank you. I got the tickets.
I got the tickets.
- Mr. Madden.
- Mr. Madden?
I don't know what happened?
I was just chasing after a
trash can and then I realized
I'm a grown man chasing a trash can.
What the heck happened to you?
You know what happened? You were just
Wait. What?
Invisible super speed? Way to go, Colby.
That's impossible. What
happened to the mess?
My little brother cleaned it up.
Stop talking.
I know what I saw. I mean, look at me.
If there wasn't a mess
then why am I covered in
[WIND WHOOSHING]
There's your science experiment,
Principal Tennyson. [CHUCKLES]
To make you believe
one thing was happening
while something completely different
was happening at the same time.
Well, technically, that's magic.
But I'll accept it.
Well done. The full-time job is yours.
- But I haven't done anything.
- Stop talking.
So how does it feel
to be a full-time science
teacher, Mr. Madden?
Uh, great.
Plus, now we all get to eat
lunch together every day.
You do know that teachers
have their own lounge, right?
Yeah. But it's a lot harder
to embarrass you from there.
All part of the clever
payback collection by Vic.
[SIGHS] Tell me again why
we helped him get this job.
[SIGHS] Because we messed up.
But I gotta say,
detention wasn't half bad.
They made us pick up trash.
What'd you volunteer to do anyways?
You ever think maybe you
should be the janitor?
Hopefully, this would just teach you
to accept the consequences
instead of trying to get out
of it with your villain schemes.
I guess. At least that way,
we could have actually
gone to the concert.
Hmm. I'm sure we didn't miss much.
Girls! Fuchsia was fire!
[LAUGHING]
She sang all the hits, had
like 20 costume changes,
and at the end of the show,
she brought one lucky fan on stage.
Spoiler alert, it was me.
Wow. Well, at least, now we know
our principal can do the worm.
Uh-hmm.