The Weekenders (2000) s01e14 Episode Script
Pudding Ball
1
Imagine if you will,
this entire crowd of kids
coated in rich, delicious
chocolate pudding.
Can't?
Well, you don't have to because you're
gonna see it.
We're here to sign up for the biggest,
coolest, most awesome game ever.
Pudding Ball.
The object?
Throw pudding at the other kid
before they throw pudding at you!
Simple, yet elegant.
Welcome to the first annual Pudding Ball
Classic, sponsored by Three Cheers for Kids.
I want to thank you all
for your entrance fees,
which will go to Helpers
Helping The Helpless.
Where did they get all the pudding for
this event?
Remember Pudding Dogs?
The pudding-filled hot dogs?
Yeah, they donated
their pudding instead of
throwing it all away when
they went out of business.
Oh man, I love those things.
Anywho, here's our game chaperone.
Head Volunteer: Ned Coulson.
He'll explain a few ground rules.
Number one, no shots to the face.
Number two, restrooms are
considered "safe zones."
Number three, only use the
pudding provided for you.
I do not want to see any gelatin or
whipped topping out there, you hear me!?
Okay, so let's be careful out there,
kids.
Your opponents will show no mercy with
their pudding.
So if you start snoozin',
you'll be losin'.
It's funny and
Tomorrow you will be provided
with one of these beauties:
The Pudding Flinger 5000.
This here is an ordinary sponge ball
soaked in chocolate pudding.
Remember, a safe fling is a happy fling.
Mrs. Duong, if you don't mind.
Hang on.
Is it me?
Or is this game
looking a lot like a sport?
'Cause you know, I'm no good at sports.
Technically, all sports are games.
No.
Games involve strategy, cunning and
knowledge of the human psyche.
Sports involves me looking like a geek.
Don't worry, Tino, it'll be fine.
We'll all be on the same team.
Okay, teams of two.
Who's going with whom?
What?
How can we possibly decide?
Tino's with Tish,
Carver's with Lor.
Now that here is your pudding ball rule
manual, strategy, suggestions,
nutritional advice, stretching exercises
and a note from the governor thanking you
for helping Helpers Helping the Helpless
to help the helpless.
Next!
They can't just split us up.
It says in here they can.
It also says that for certain violations,
we can be banished!
You're worrying way too much.
Just because we're on
different teams doesn't mean
we're going to be
competing against each other.
Um, actually, that is
what it means, Lor.
But don't worry, guys.
We'll go easy on you.
We'll beat you, but we'll go easy on you.
Um, no pudding in my ears, okay?
Deal.
I'm just saying we don't want to get too
competitive.
We're all friends, right?
Right.
Great.
Good.
So, Carver, what should we call our team?
How about the "Tish and Tino Crushers"?
Yeah, very funny.
Hey Tish, you thought of a name for our
team?
[ IN FRENCH ]
"Les jeunes de pudding?"
Ow.
Or how about "Uncoordinated Klutzes
Who Will Be The First Ones Out"?
It's a little wordy.
Okay,
ten minutes to hide.
Aw man, my Flinger's not flingin' right!
Loose wrist.
Stephen, you are out!
Lor, watch it!
Back at ya.
We are too good.
Ooh, Luke nd Francis are
going to get creamed.
I should tell 'em to hide.
Tino, this game is not about compassion.
It's about "com-PUDDING.".
But someone's going to get them.
Yeah, someone like us!
Well, it just seems
like it would be mean to --
Remember what
Mr. Coulson said?
"If you start snoozin', you'll be losin'."
Welll, Luke and Francis are snoozin'.
Well yeah, but who are --
You know, it's possible
this is all like clever
ruse to lure us into our
fiendish pudding trap!
Nuh-uh.
Yeah, huh.
Uncoordinated Klutzes Who Will
Be The First Ones Out, rule!
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I don't see Tish and Tino anywhere!
They must be getting hosed off.
Hello, participants.
May I have your attention?
Day one is now officially over, and only
two teams remain for tomorrow's finals.
Lor MacQuarrie and Carver Descartes.
We rule!
Yeah.
And Tish Katsufrakis and Tino Tonitini.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Have the immutable laws of
the universe been suspended?
Apparently.
So, did you guys hide out all day?
Excuse me?
Yeah, was it just incredible luck?
What are you talking about?
You obviously didn't make it
to the finals by playing fair.
What?!
Um, I've got a little piece of information
for you, Missy.
Brains beat Braun.
Are you saying we're stupid?
I think you said it for me.
Okay, stop.
We all wanna win.
Sure.
Everybody wants to win, right?
That doesn't mean we have to sacrifice our
friendship.
Hey, T.
Puddn' in your ears tomorrow.
We are gonna smear you!
Well, we're gonna double-smear you.
Tough talk for someone who's gonna be combin'
puddin' out of his hair tomorrow night!
You can't comb dreads.
We are gonna beat you guys tomorrow no
matter what it takes.
Oh yeah?
Well, good luck, Missy.
You don't have a chance.
I don't even own a comb!
Take no prisoners!
Scorched earth policy.
St-ring?
Check.
Maps.
Check.
Upper glasses.
Eh?
Hello, participants.
Remember, you're all winners,
even though half
of you will lose.
It's too far.
You guys are toast.
Well, you're double toast.
You're triple toast.
You're French toast!
French toast?
It's been a long day.
I can't believe we haven't
gotten them yet.
It's been hours.
Don't worry.
I got a plan.
Oh, the game's almost over.
Looks like it's gonna be a tie.
No way.
It's time for "Operation Cheat."
And what exactly does that entail?
Cheating.
I see.
My.
What a reasonable price.
This can't be good.
Regulations 277, 353, and 498.
Improper use of equipment, splatting
designated official, and false advertising.
Let's see.
The Official Pudding Ball Regulatory
Commission penalty is banishment.
Wait, no.
Uh
disqualification.
Attention, Tish and Tino.
Please come to the Winner's Circle.
The other team has given up.
There's Mrs Duong.
Come on.
We'll settle this right now.
Uh, sir.
I don't think that's Mrs --
She's gonna be very
disappointed in bothof you.
But she --
Save it for the Pudding Judge!
Oh, what the!?
Great plan, Carver.
I'm not Carver.
I'm Mrs Duong.
Give it a rest.
I can't believe Coulson is making
us clean up the whole park.
We deserve it.
If I got pudding up my nose,
I'd make us do something worse.
Let's never compete against each other
again.
Never?
No more pool?
No more Skootball?
No more seeing who can stuff
the most olives in their mouth?
That'd be me.
Guys, it's okay to compete.
We just have to keep our priorities
straight.
I mean, we didn't just ditch our
friendship today.
We ditched the rules.
And if a game isn't have rules,
it isn't a game, is it?
No.
It's politics.
Exactly.
Um, look.
There's not much left to see here.
So you might wanna take off.
Either that or grab a shovel.
Well, later days.
Imagine if you will,
this entire crowd of kids
coated in rich, delicious
chocolate pudding.
Can't?
Well, you don't have to because you're
gonna see it.
We're here to sign up for the biggest,
coolest, most awesome game ever.
Pudding Ball.
The object?
Throw pudding at the other kid
before they throw pudding at you!
Simple, yet elegant.
Welcome to the first annual Pudding Ball
Classic, sponsored by Three Cheers for Kids.
I want to thank you all
for your entrance fees,
which will go to Helpers
Helping The Helpless.
Where did they get all the pudding for
this event?
Remember Pudding Dogs?
The pudding-filled hot dogs?
Yeah, they donated
their pudding instead of
throwing it all away when
they went out of business.
Oh man, I love those things.
Anywho, here's our game chaperone.
Head Volunteer: Ned Coulson.
He'll explain a few ground rules.
Number one, no shots to the face.
Number two, restrooms are
considered "safe zones."
Number three, only use the
pudding provided for you.
I do not want to see any gelatin or
whipped topping out there, you hear me!?
Okay, so let's be careful out there,
kids.
Your opponents will show no mercy with
their pudding.
So if you start snoozin',
you'll be losin'.
It's funny and
Tomorrow you will be provided
with one of these beauties:
The Pudding Flinger 5000.
This here is an ordinary sponge ball
soaked in chocolate pudding.
Remember, a safe fling is a happy fling.
Mrs. Duong, if you don't mind.
Hang on.
Is it me?
Or is this game
looking a lot like a sport?
'Cause you know, I'm no good at sports.
Technically, all sports are games.
No.
Games involve strategy, cunning and
knowledge of the human psyche.
Sports involves me looking like a geek.
Don't worry, Tino, it'll be fine.
We'll all be on the same team.
Okay, teams of two.
Who's going with whom?
What?
How can we possibly decide?
Tino's with Tish,
Carver's with Lor.
Now that here is your pudding ball rule
manual, strategy, suggestions,
nutritional advice, stretching exercises
and a note from the governor thanking you
for helping Helpers Helping the Helpless
to help the helpless.
Next!
They can't just split us up.
It says in here they can.
It also says that for certain violations,
we can be banished!
You're worrying way too much.
Just because we're on
different teams doesn't mean
we're going to be
competing against each other.
Um, actually, that is
what it means, Lor.
But don't worry, guys.
We'll go easy on you.
We'll beat you, but we'll go easy on you.
Um, no pudding in my ears, okay?
Deal.
I'm just saying we don't want to get too
competitive.
We're all friends, right?
Right.
Great.
Good.
So, Carver, what should we call our team?
How about the "Tish and Tino Crushers"?
Yeah, very funny.
Hey Tish, you thought of a name for our
team?
[ IN FRENCH ]
"Les jeunes de pudding?"
Ow.
Or how about "Uncoordinated Klutzes
Who Will Be The First Ones Out"?
It's a little wordy.
Okay,
ten minutes to hide.
Aw man, my Flinger's not flingin' right!
Loose wrist.
Stephen, you are out!
Lor, watch it!
Back at ya.
We are too good.
Ooh, Luke nd Francis are
going to get creamed.
I should tell 'em to hide.
Tino, this game is not about compassion.
It's about "com-PUDDING.".
But someone's going to get them.
Yeah, someone like us!
Well, it just seems
like it would be mean to --
Remember what
Mr. Coulson said?
"If you start snoozin', you'll be losin'."
Welll, Luke and Francis are snoozin'.
Well yeah, but who are --
You know, it's possible
this is all like clever
ruse to lure us into our
fiendish pudding trap!
Nuh-uh.
Yeah, huh.
Uncoordinated Klutzes Who Will
Be The First Ones Out, rule!
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I don't see Tish and Tino anywhere!
They must be getting hosed off.
Hello, participants.
May I have your attention?
Day one is now officially over, and only
two teams remain for tomorrow's finals.
Lor MacQuarrie and Carver Descartes.
We rule!
Yeah.
And Tish Katsufrakis and Tino Tonitini.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Have the immutable laws of
the universe been suspended?
Apparently.
So, did you guys hide out all day?
Excuse me?
Yeah, was it just incredible luck?
What are you talking about?
You obviously didn't make it
to the finals by playing fair.
What?!
Um, I've got a little piece of information
for you, Missy.
Brains beat Braun.
Are you saying we're stupid?
I think you said it for me.
Okay, stop.
We all wanna win.
Sure.
Everybody wants to win, right?
That doesn't mean we have to sacrifice our
friendship.
Hey, T.
Puddn' in your ears tomorrow.
We are gonna smear you!
Well, we're gonna double-smear you.
Tough talk for someone who's gonna be combin'
puddin' out of his hair tomorrow night!
You can't comb dreads.
We are gonna beat you guys tomorrow no
matter what it takes.
Oh yeah?
Well, good luck, Missy.
You don't have a chance.
I don't even own a comb!
Take no prisoners!
Scorched earth policy.
St-ring?
Check.
Maps.
Check.
Upper glasses.
Eh?
Hello, participants.
Remember, you're all winners,
even though half
of you will lose.
It's too far.
You guys are toast.
Well, you're double toast.
You're triple toast.
You're French toast!
French toast?
It's been a long day.
I can't believe we haven't
gotten them yet.
It's been hours.
Don't worry.
I got a plan.
Oh, the game's almost over.
Looks like it's gonna be a tie.
No way.
It's time for "Operation Cheat."
And what exactly does that entail?
Cheating.
I see.
My.
What a reasonable price.
This can't be good.
Regulations 277, 353, and 498.
Improper use of equipment, splatting
designated official, and false advertising.
Let's see.
The Official Pudding Ball Regulatory
Commission penalty is banishment.
Wait, no.
Uh
disqualification.
Attention, Tish and Tino.
Please come to the Winner's Circle.
The other team has given up.
There's Mrs Duong.
Come on.
We'll settle this right now.
Uh, sir.
I don't think that's Mrs --
She's gonna be very
disappointed in bothof you.
But she --
Save it for the Pudding Judge!
Oh, what the!?
Great plan, Carver.
I'm not Carver.
I'm Mrs Duong.
Give it a rest.
I can't believe Coulson is making
us clean up the whole park.
We deserve it.
If I got pudding up my nose,
I'd make us do something worse.
Let's never compete against each other
again.
Never?
No more pool?
No more Skootball?
No more seeing who can stuff
the most olives in their mouth?
That'd be me.
Guys, it's okay to compete.
We just have to keep our priorities
straight.
I mean, we didn't just ditch our
friendship today.
We ditched the rules.
And if a game isn't have rules,
it isn't a game, is it?
No.
It's politics.
Exactly.
Um, look.
There's not much left to see here.
So you might wanna take off.
Either that or grab a shovel.
Well, later days.