Ugly Betty s01e14 Episode Script
I'm Coming Out
Previously on "Ugly Betty" Betty's busy.
Can I take a message? Yes, please.
Tell her she can call me.
I'll tell her.
I wanted to give you this.
Ooh, you just don't know what this means to me.
If a woman didn't want to be a seamstress her whole life, what exactly would she have to do? Drop this off at the nearest police station anonymously.
I guess I don't really think of Alex as being gone.
- How did he - He jumped out of a helicopter to ski down mount Juno.
Looks like that skiing accident really paid off Alex Meade.
Alexis, darling.
It's Alexis now.
Good morning, Betty.
Hi, dad.
Betty Suarez! I know.
I named you.
No, it's fashion week.
Daniel's in charge of the "Mode" show.
It's crazy.
No, he asked for black tablecloths.
Napkins.
Oh, uh Silver.
Black will make them pop.
Silver napkins.
Thank you.
What is fashion week? "What's fashion week"? Only the most important event in the industry.
When the buyers get their first look at the fall lines? Am I going to have to explain couture again? Please don't.
Betty Suarez! Eat your pancake on the train.
I'll pack your breakfast to go.
No, leave the seating chart to me.
I'm on my way.
Oh, sure.
She gets a job right away.
You know, yesterday she was a nun.
Today she's wearing pasties.
Come on, Hilda.
Come on.
You're gonna find a job soon.
You'll see.
Oh, hey.
What about "Mode"? They hiring any help for this, um fashion thing? Fashion week! What is wrong with this family? Hilda, I really want to help out, but we're just we're filled up.
Here.
Thank you.
Isn't there anything for your sister? Dad, we cannot work together.
Don't you remember the Lemon Ice King disaster? She doesn't listen to me.
That was a long time ago, and it wasn't her fault.
She refused to wear a hairnet.
That man choked on her bobby pin, and I was the one who got fired.
Look, I love her, but it's not a good fit.
Betty Suarez! Thank you for calling back.
It's Victoria Beckham.
You're talking to Posh? No, but I'm talking to the people who talk to her.
Betty rules.
Daniel, I want to talk to you.
Great.
Another scotch lecture.
I've been thinking about your brother.
Right, so this is where you tell me what a disappointment I've been, right? How I'll never fill Alex's shoes? Alex died two years ago.
This is about you.
You've really proven yourself these past few months, Daniel.
One day, Meade Publications is gonna be in your hands.
Right, dad.
Whatever you say.
I mean it.
Tomorrow after the show, I plan on announcing my intentions to the press.
Thank you.
I'm proud of you, son.
Hi, sailor.
You're booking a cruise? You can't afford to cruise the bathroom on the 17th floor.
I have some money coming in.
From where? None of your business.
Go away.
Isn't there someone with a cold sore you could be making fun of? Oh, come on.
Spill.
It's me.
We share lip gloss.
You know how every year, there's the "it" item that comes out of fashion week? - Hello, wide belt-2006.
- Nah.
And you know how every year Eternal 18 has an exact knockoff of "it," mere days later? Who do you think tips them off for a big old bag of cash? What?! You've been selling your integrity to some tacky mall store? Genius.
Count me in.
Forget it, Clyde.
Find your own criminal activity.
Crazy in roadkill, 2:00.
Ah! Buongiorno, peon! Oh, no, no, no.
Fabia, you cannot just go in.
I love your assistant.
I have the same one in beige.
Fabia, I didn't know you were in the building.
I can usually smell you from the lobby.
Well, you know, seeing that Fabia donated $20,000 in cosmetics for the fashion show gift bag I figured you take Fabia to lunch, no? Oh, darling, I-I would love to, but I can't.
I'm swamped.
Not to mention, I'm getting a promotion.
It's still a little hush-hush, but you are looking at the-soon-to-be-crowned editor in chief of "Mode.
" That dress It is Eduardo! Yes.
I'm wearing it to the fashion show tomorrow.
I went to Eduardo's studio, and he promised this dress to me.
I even make for my picchu a matching ensemble.
Well, call Eduardo and see if he has another one.
Don't be stupido.
What are we, the freaking Olsen twins? Fine.
Have it your way.
Perhaps it'll look better in a plus size anyway.
Come on, baby.
We go.
Ah, Fabia, silly, little, delusional Fabia, I'm sure you and your little bitch will look fabulous in anything.
Look at that face.
It is flawless.
My god, it is flawless.
Who did your eyes? Shapiro? Fabia has had no work done! Please.
There's enough leftover skin from your surgeries to make a bed for my cat.
For your information, this not surgery.
This duck sauce.
Excuse me? The sauce from a man duck that make the baby duck.
I had a doctor- a Dr.
Wong on Spring Street.
He give me the injection into my face.
And poof! Ten years gone.
And you could look 65 again.
Well, as lovely as that sounds, I'm a few years away from having a duck quack off in my face.
Whatever you say Wrinklemina.
Ciao.
See you later, we go to mangia now.
Come on baby.
Marc! Dr.
Wong, Spring Street- I'm on it.
Um, I think I ordered a smaller size.
For who? You could wash it like, a few thousand times.
Henry, hi.
Uh, how have you been? Oh, good.
Busy.
So I hear you're working hard on the "Mode" show.
They must have liked how you pulled off the Christmas party.
Uh, hey, listen.
I kinda wanted to talk to you about that.
Betty! Oh, my God.
Hi! Hilda, what are you doing here? I am recovering.
Oprah told me that I need to take control of my life, and then Dr.
Phil told me that I need to take on a challenge, and then Rachael Ray made a pie.
Anyway, the point is I am back! And I need ten copies of my résumé.
Oh, hello.
I'm Hilda.
I'm Betty's sister.
Henry.
I think we spoke on the phone.
- When? - Oh, so nice to meet you.
- What? When did you talk- - Where's the xerox machine? Walk me.
Hilda, this is my job.
You can't just walk in whenever you feel like it.
Is that your boss? - Hey, Daniel.
- The xerox machine is over there.
Daniel! How was your meeting with your father? Uh better than I thought.
He didn't give you the old Alex speech? No, he's finally seeing me as an adult who can take responsibility- Brodeo! - Security! - No, no, no.
Betty, Betty.
This is my friend I was telling you about- Becks.
Oh! I'm so sorry.
The photojournalist.
I'm Betty.
We spoke on the phone when you were in Africa.
I heard all that growling in the background.
Yeah, she and I broke up.
Listen, Betty, if Daniel ever gives you a hard time, you let me know.
I'll take him out back, teach him some manners.
Okay.
Betty Suarez.
Okay.
Joke's over.
Where's your real assistant? Oh, come on.
Betty's a great girl.
Maybe after a half dozen shots.
All right, all right.
Look at what I brought you from Africa.
What is that? An oshe shango.
So seriously, how was Africa? Oh, it was totally mind-blowing- bullets flying, rebel attacks, human suffering Not a hottie to be found.
I mean, they're thin and all, but it's that sick thin, not hot thin.
Cultural sensitive as always.
So what brings you back, huh? It's fashion week.
- The booty-lympics.
- Yeah, I know.
I can't do that this year.
I'm the editor in chief now.
Do you have to talk like that when you say "editor in chief"? I do.
Come on.
This is our thing.
Besides, I didn't travel halfway around the world for you to turn into your father.
Good thing is my father is treating me differently now.
You know, he's about to give me the keys to the kingdom.
Yeah? Well, you didn't get all tight-ass when he gave you the keys to his Bentley.
We totaled that.
- Yeah.
- I get it.
You're just afraid that I'm gonna bag the hottest girl again.
Becks, this week isn't about that anymore.
I have to keep my eyes on the clothes, not the models wearing them.
Wow.
Do you pee sitting down now, too? Okay, thank you very much.
I thought you said ten copies.
Well, I must've hit the "zero" button by accident twice.
- Ooh, pencils! - No, no.
Betty, can you get us a couple take-out menus for the japanese place downstairs? Hey, Hilda.
How are you? Oh, just making a couple copies of my résumé.
I need a job.
Really? Well, we could always use some more help for fashion week.
Betty, just hook her up.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
We're gonna be working together.
"Hook me up.
" Well, it wouldn't be so much "together.
" I'd be your boss.
Yeah, right.
You know what? Hilda, I don't think that this is a good idea.
What? Are you kidding? It's gonna be great! Lemon Ice sisters reunited! I can't wait.
Do you know what I'm going to wear? This will be so much fun! No, no, don't raise your arms, you twit.
It's not pinned yet.
So I'm kinda having a rough day.
It's not draping.
My first show, and it's not draping right.
It started out pretty decent.
Betty, can you cut to the chase, please? You have 30 seconds.
Go.
Daniel hired Hilda to help us with fashion week.
She's not gonna listen to me, and she's going to take over like she always does.
Well, you've obviously never had an older sister.
Hilda wins miss Junior Teen Queens.
Who do you think got a cake? with straight A's.
Hilda comes home pregnant.
She gets another cake.
What, so this is about cake? It's about how she always steals my thunder.
Here at "Mode," I'm Betty.
Everywhere else, I'm Hilda's sister.
Betty, you were at "Mode" first.
Here she's gonna be Betty's sister.
Hmm.
That isn't so bad.
Bollocks.
These designs are awful.
No, they're not.
Thank you.
They're going to steal the show, so stop stressing.
Betty, everything I have ever wanted since I was 15 years old hinges on a 6-minute runway show! Christina, you are amazing.
You have to say that.
You're my friend.
But Wilhelmina isn't, and she would have never picked you if you didn't have talent.
Yep.
Well, Wilhelmina picked me because Well, we'll find out soon enough, won't we? You need to fill out this form and send it back.
Wait.
I-I-I filled this out last week.
- You did? - Uh-huh.
Oh.
I guess you did.
Well, you need to fill out this one.
And this one, too? You didn't turn 'em in? I'm sorry.
I'm just a little distracted.
My, um It's not important.
Are you sure that these will be ready in time for my court date? Of course.
I'm a professional.
You wanna talk about anything? No.
I'm fine.
He dumped me.
- Who? - My boyfriend Toussaint.
He's a dog.
I mean, who dumps somebody this close to Valentine's day? And I already bought him some chocolates.
Here, here.
Constance, you're a terrific woman.
You'll find someone else to give your chocolates to.
Oh, Ignacio.
You're so sweet.
Why can't all men be like you? Ignacio! Can you believe it's finally here? Everything we've worked for.
By this time tomorrow, Daniel and Bradford will be as out as ugg boots.
And I can't wait.
In fact, I think I'm gonna get there a little early tomorrow.
What?! That's not what we planned.
I want to mingle.
Besides, I never got to go to my own funeral.
I want to know what the world really thought of Alex Meade, especially my brother.
It's risky.
It's worth it.
Where are you anyway? Uh, teeth cleaning.
I will see you tomorrow.
Bring on the duck, Dr.
Wong.
Hilda, come on! We're gonna be late! Hilda! What did you do? You like? It was kinda boring.
It was kind of our uniform.
What? It still says "Mode.
" Or "Ode.
" Whatever.
You're supposed to work the fashion show, not be in it.
Your only job today is hanging and steaming clothes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're gonna pay me in cash, right? Have you seen my keys? Wait.
Looking for these? Okay, here's how this is gonna work, ladies.
You two are taking me to fashion week.
- Justin, if- - No argument.
I've been waiting for this my whole life.
I did my homework.
I called in sick to school today.
You just have to sign this little slip.
- If you think for a second that- - I swear, mom, I will run away.
I know a kid in sixth grade that sells crack.
Okay, all right.
Why don't we just bring dad, too? We are reporting live from Bryant Park- the kickoff of fashion week.
In the red tent, the Calvin Klein collection, and in the white tent, "Mode's" Ten Designers to Watch.
Karl Lagerfeld, we love you.
Ponytail at 70? Brave.
I did catch a glimpse of Zac Posen's line, and I think the construction was impeccable.
Hey.
Did you see that redhead with the pair of- Would you excuse us? I thought we talked about this.
I'll gonna see you after fashion week, all right? Fine.
Less competition, more meow for me.
Good.
Go.
Enjoy yourself.
Just make sure to ask the russian models for I.
D.
this time.
Oh, come on.
Give me an hour.
You know you want to.
Our usual bet? Whoever scores with the hottest girl here wins $1.
Becks, I'm not that guy anymore.
I told you.
You're on.
Oh, my God.
I think I'm gonna pass out.
Heidi Klum and Seal and baby Seal.
- Okay, but no autographs.
- Okay.
Oh, my God! J-Lo! Hilda! Hilda! You're supposed to be in the wardrobe tent.
- Now give me the camera.
- Hey, give it back! - I'm your supervisor.
- I will sit on you.
We're not at home.
Try and act like an adult.
Now go find something to steam.
Go on.
- And you- - I know.
I know.
Campbell at all times.
For your own good.
Look at me! I am a monster! How bad is it? Honest.
Not that bad at all.
A little cover-up and some hemorrhoid cream for the swelling you're good to go.
It's getting worse by the minute.
I can't see a thing.
It's a blessing, Willie.
Think about it.
Fashion week-all those people you don't want to see.
But they have to see me, and you will be by my side at all times.
You will be my seeing eye gay.
Now show me where the bathroom is.
No, no, no.
- What? - Crisis.
You're in on the Eternal 18 deal.
You need to help me find the "it" item.
Really? 50-50? - 40-60.
- 45-55.
Don't push it, bitch.
She just seems so distant lately, you know? She's always busy with work stuff.
It's fashion week- when the buyers get their first looks at the fall couture.
I think there's a Knicks game on.
Constance.
Do we have an appointment today? Oh, this isn't business.
You were just so sweet the other night, getting my mind off Toussaint.
By the way, here's his chocolates.
- There's three left.
- I don't like nuts.
But I thought I'd make you a little gumbo as a thank you, and for dessert- "failure to launch.
" But I-I-I've already eaten.
Oh, you think you have, but you haven't tasted my gumbo.
How you doing, cutie? Would you excuse me just a seconde? How you doin'? Pretty good.
You got a quarter I can borrow? Why? I told my mother I'd call her when I fell in love.
You've got to me kidding me.
That line is as old as pay phones, buddy.
I think you dropped your game right over there.
Hi.
I'm Daniel Meade.
Have we met before? You don't want her cooking your lunch, just tell her.
She's my immigration caseworker.
I piss that woman off, I end up on the other side of that fence.
Nacho! Nacho? It's her little pet name.
I think she wants to eat me.
Um, where do you keep your pepper, sugar? 'Cause we need something spicy.
Oh, wait.
Here I am.
Maybe you need to remind her that she works for the government.
She could lose her job.
And where should I make that phone call from, Walter? Guadalajara? Her boyfriend dumped her, and now she wants me.
Well, there's only one thing you can do.
You gotta get her back with the boyfriend.
Oh, my god.
Fabia.
2:00.
You're on Tokyo time, woman.
This way.
Ciao, bella! Oh, you're right.
You look so much better in that dress, especially with those sunglasses.
Did someone pay little visit to my Dr.
Wong? I'll get you, Fabia and your little dog, too.
Marc! Marc! Hi, hi.
This way.
Trust me.
The kleenex arts getting clumpy if you start to sweat, but if I find me cutlets to stuff in there, I'll get you.
- Thanks, Hilda.
- Sure.
- Excuse us.
Hilda? - Yeah? The models don't like it when you talk to them.
But the girl doesn't have any boobs.
I'm giving her some tips so she doesn't look like a 12-year-old boy.
I'm just warning you.
She crack me up.
Hey, Hilda.
We're having a party at G Spa after the show.
I'll put you on the list.
Oh, cool! Can I bring my sister? Um yeah, sure.
You're welcome.
I have a spring roll.
Come to me.
Come to me.
Oh, oh, oh, to the left, to the left.
To the right.
This is ridiculous.
It's been a couple of hours.
The swelling must have gone down by now.
I'm taking off these damn glasses.
Oh, no.
Find me a veil.
Uh, Uma.
It's Uma.
Yo.
I am at the Betsey Johnson show in the purple tent, and I've found it! The faux rabbit fur micro-mini- the "it" item for 2007.
Are you sure? Yes.
Everyone is going crazy.
Mischa Barton just knocked over Bate Bosworth.
Oh, like that's so hard.
Okay.
Just get over here.
We have to steal it.
Wilhelmina's talking to a mannequin.
I'll be right there.
What are you doing? First you tell me I can't steam clothes, and then you criticize the way I hang a dress, and now I can't put out gift bags? Well, they just weren't all facing the same angle.
Honey, you are a freak.
Will you please just go get the rest of the bags? Okay, Betty, but I don't know.
I hope I don't get lost.
Betty, you've gotta get over to the Sean John show in the green tent.
Look what I learned- popping and locking.
Thank you.
That's the first time I've laughed all day.
Oh, I have something for you.
Thought this might be a little more flattering than the one you got stuck with not that you don't always look good.
Thanks.
Oh, look at this- iPods, cell phones.
Hope they're declaring those on their taxes.
- Too nerdy? - Yeah.
Popping and locking.
So can I ask you something? Why didn't you call me back after the Christmas party? I left a message to see if you wanted to watch "Rudolph" together.
What? Wait- you left me a message? Where? At your house.
- Hilda never told you? - No.
She didn't.
Excuse me.
Where are you going? To become an only child.
Hey, Wilhelmina, love the hat.
Oh, thank you.
Do we know this person? Kayla Brooks, fashion correspondent for "New York One.
" She's in a midnight blue Chanel with pewter buttons and navy stockings.
- Mistake? - Colossal.
She looks like a mailbox.
You're good, Jason.
It's Justin, but you can call me whatever you want.
I love you.
What am I supposed to do, club her and strip her? Oh, take her into a porta-potty and seduce her out of it.
Have we met? Okay, I'll club her.
Oh, for God's sake, Dorothy, do you wanna go to man-tasy island or not? Be a man! Well, it was my first time drinking Mezcal.
I didn't know it was a worm.
Hilda, did you take a message from What are you doing? Hilda, how do I do that hair flip? In a second, Kay.
I'm helping out.
Christina asked me to.
But this is not your job.
Hilda, I need your help.
Eat a carrot stick.
I'm talking here.
They were shorthanded, and they needed somebody with a background in big hair, so come on, who knows better than me? Ay, Betty, I'm really liking it here.
Maybe I could turn this into a full-time thing.
No.
You shouldn't even be here.
Give me this.
I'll do it.
Yeah, you.
You can't even do your own hair.
This is not our bathroom.
Don't talk to me like that.
You are giving her a wind tunnel.
Sorry.
Okay.
All right.
Enough.
"The Hilda show" is over! Go home.
- What?! - You're fired.
Am I done? So what brings you to fashion week? Are you in the industry? Not yet, but I'm hoping to make a big splash.
Hi.
Sorry to interrupt.
Here's the coffee that I promised you an hour ago.
I'm sorry.
There are so many fires to be put out.
- You okay? - Yeah.
You have a lot to worry about.
I'm fine.
Will you excuse me a minute? Hey, Betty, what's going on? Nothing.
It's over now.
Don't worry.
I have to go check on Christina and the gift bags.
Betty, I know I dumped a lot in your lap this week, but you gotta know, you're doing a great job.
No, Daniel, I am out of my league here.
Listen, when I started this job, who was the secretary from Queens who saved the Fabia account? - Me.
- And who took all the credit? You.
And this week, when you get praise for the show, who do you think's gonna get the credit? - You.
- No, you! I'm gonna make sure of it.
Look, you just-you really gotta try and enjoy this.
This is incredible.
I have to go.
Find something to do.
Come on.
We are on a deadline! Sorry.
My assistant's been having a rough day.
You are not the Daniel Meade I thought you'd be.
Really? And who are you getting your information from? Daniel, I have a little confession to make.
Okay.
Your brother Yeah? I used to date him.
Okay.
You okay.
You can do this.
She is a model.
- I can't do it.
- Shiny things confuse her.
Okay, now just flirt with her, maybe even kiss her, and that bunny skirt will hop right off of her.
Okay, okay, okay! But if this is anything like my prom night, you're paying for the therapy.
Okay.
Wait.
Come back.
Go, go, go.
The kid brother who Alex used to talk about wouldn't have cared what kind of a day his assistant was having.
Yeah, well, things change.
People change.
Yes, they certainly do, Danny.
- Thank you for coming.
- Daniel, thank you.
- Good luck with the show.
- Thank you very much.
It's actually Daniel.
My brother's the only one who called me Danny.
Do you miss him? We had a complicated relationship- competitive.
I mean, you know how he was.
To be honest- it might sound a little weird- but, um, it's kind of a relief to finally be out from under his shadow.
Oh, I think you're still standing in it Danny.
I've got a little secret for you.
Oh, yeah? What's that? What? What the hell are you talking about? Look into my eyes, Danny, 'cause that's about the only thing they couldn't change.
Is this some kind of sick joke? What, Becks put- Becks put you up to this? Remember Tia Petroni? The weekend in Vegas I got a little crazy? Ready for the show Danny? Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats.
Where is Daniel? Unbelievable.
He should be here.
He knows how important this is.
I just saw him.
Um, he must have, uh I'll find him.
You're crazy.
How could you do this? I mean-I can't even look at you! Then don't look at me, but I need you to know why I did this.
- Since I was 5, I've known- - Don't! Since I was 5, I felt like I've been dropped in the wrong skin.
This is about correcting a mistake.
Oh, is that all it is? Really? That's the fast version.
Look, I wanted to talk to you before I went through with it.
I just didn't have an opportunity.
Stop.
I can't breathe.
You have no idea what you put the family through.
We thought you were dead, Alex.
Mom had to bury her son.
She's never recovered.
- And our father, he's- - What, moved on? I've noticed.
Nobody's moved on, Alex.
We think about you every single day.
It's Alexis.
And by the way hitting on your dead brother's old girlfriend Classy.
Yeah, I'm just coming off a pretty bad breakup myself.
So, uh, if you're, uh if you're looking for a little mnh-mnh-mnh rebound action What I'm looking for is my shoes.
Oh, those black platform peep-toes? Fabulous.
Oh, I see now.
They're hiding the good stuff back here.
No, no, no.
You don't want this slut.
There is a much bigger slut in there, and, uh, I want her skirt.
Could you just go get it for me? The horror! - Oh! I'm sorry.
- Excuse me.
Oh, my god! Katharine McPhee! Hi, um, I'm Betty Suarez, Daniel Meade's assistant.
Huge "Idol" fan, by the way- huge.
Totally had the McPheever.
Um, oh, have you seen Daniel, by the way? No, I haven't, but I'm sorry.
Did you say "Suarez"? Are you Hilda's sister? Oh, my god, she's awesome.
You know, actually, I signed a CD for her.
Can you give that to her? Thanks.
Here, get McPheever.
Well, enjoy the show.
Some of us are gonna be watching it from the unemployment line.
What? My freakin' sister just fired me! Mine just came back from the dead and he's hot.
What are you talking about? Just, um, having a bad day.
Yeah, well, I've had a bad month.
Give me that.
Hey.
I've been honking out there.
You call for a cab? Actually, I called for you.
Are you Toussaint Duvalier? Yeah.
Who are you? That's not important.
It's, uh, about Constance.
Is she here? Do I smell gumbo? No.
No, no, no.
Relax, relax.
She's not here.
I just want to talk to you.
Look, Toussaint, you hurt her really bad, and she's such a special person.
Are you sure you want to give up that much loving? What is it to you? Well, I She's your caseworker, isn't she? How'd you know? How do you think me and her hooked up? This is how she operates.
First, she'll start showing up three times a day.
Yeah.
Then she starts moving her chair closer and closer.
Before you know it, she is crying about the last guy who dumped her.
Exactly! How does she get away with this? She is the one stamping "denied" or "approved.
" I don't think I can play this game.
You want your green card? You don't have a choice, man.
You ride that squishy train until you reach your destination! No, don't just lick it.
Eat it.
That's it.
It's just chewing, and then a swallow.
That's the way.
Here we go, another one.
Christina, I need to speak with you.
Oh, uh, thank you, Jason.
Now go play with the belts.
I can't do this.
I should just go back to Scotland and knit tea cozies.
Oh, cool it, bagpipes.
I chose you because of your fresh new talent.
You picked me because I did you a shady favor.
That doesn't mean you haven't worked hard and paid your dues.
I have one little change in the lineup.
I'm replacing your final model.
You can't just spring this on me now! I just did.
Models on in five.
Have you seen Daniel? Where is he? Daniel! Hilda! Hilda, what the hell are you doing? Betty Your father's looking for you.
The show's starting.
Look, I know this seems I didn't mean to I'm gonna go inside, I guess.
I thought I told you to go home.
Hey, I don't take orders from you anymore.
I was fired, remember? Oh, please, like you ever listen to my orders to begin with.
What is this-your little way of getting back at me? Hurts, huh? Hilda, "Mode" is mine.
You can't have this, too.
What? Do you have any idea how hard it has been for me to get these people to remember my name? You walk in, and in the first two minutes, you're everybody's best friend.
My entire life, no one has ever paid attention to me when you're in the same room.
Please.
You wanna know the truth? I loved watching you sit on that couch eating that cookie dough, 'cause for the first time, I was the center of attention.
And by the way, that was my cookie dough.
Well, I am glad to see you're in my corner.
Oh, Hilda, don't turn this around and make it about you.
Do you know how hard it is for me, Betty? First impressions- that's all I got.
So if I don't flirt with the boys and joke with the girls, they're gonna realize there's not much behind the tight jeans and the low-cut top.
That is such crap.
Well, it was worth a shot.
You had some good stuff.
Now, look, Betty, give me a break.
Today a few models laughed at my jokes.
You're the one with the great job, the great boss, some cute guy who is totally into you, by the way.
In the big race, you're way ahead.
Well, there's plenty of things that you're good at, too.
Before we set that girl's hair on fire, it was looking pretty good.
You think? You know, maybe you could get a real job doing hair or something.
Well, I do work this every morning.
Hilda.
Why didn't you tell me Henry called? I was trying to protect you.
I thought he was some big city guy who might hurt you.
I'm sorry.
I-I should have known you can take care of yourself.
This is amazing.
And that was our final designer, Christina McKinney.
And now for the man who's responsible for all of this- Mr.
Bradford Meade.
Thank you, thank you.
First, I'd like to, uh, talk about the future of Meade publications.
- There have been, uh- - May I? I know this is Mr.
Meade's time, but I have an announcement I'd like to make about the futur of this company as well.
Two years ago, the Meade family lost their eldest son, Alex.
What the hell do you think you're doing? What Mr.
Meade doesn't know is that, while he may have lost a son, he gained a daughter.
Hi, daddy.
I'm back.
Alex? You can call me Alexis.
Bradford Meade, you're under arrest for the murder of Fey Sommers.
Put your hands behind your back, sir.
Put your hands behind your back.
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can be used against you in a court of law.
You have a right to an attorney That brown envelope that you had me take to the police station You used me! Used you? I made you a star! That's Alex? Yeah.
Is it fun having a sister?
Can I take a message? Yes, please.
Tell her she can call me.
I'll tell her.
I wanted to give you this.
Ooh, you just don't know what this means to me.
If a woman didn't want to be a seamstress her whole life, what exactly would she have to do? Drop this off at the nearest police station anonymously.
I guess I don't really think of Alex as being gone.
- How did he - He jumped out of a helicopter to ski down mount Juno.
Looks like that skiing accident really paid off Alex Meade.
Alexis, darling.
It's Alexis now.
Good morning, Betty.
Hi, dad.
Betty Suarez! I know.
I named you.
No, it's fashion week.
Daniel's in charge of the "Mode" show.
It's crazy.
No, he asked for black tablecloths.
Napkins.
Oh, uh Silver.
Black will make them pop.
Silver napkins.
Thank you.
What is fashion week? "What's fashion week"? Only the most important event in the industry.
When the buyers get their first look at the fall lines? Am I going to have to explain couture again? Please don't.
Betty Suarez! Eat your pancake on the train.
I'll pack your breakfast to go.
No, leave the seating chart to me.
I'm on my way.
Oh, sure.
She gets a job right away.
You know, yesterday she was a nun.
Today she's wearing pasties.
Come on, Hilda.
Come on.
You're gonna find a job soon.
You'll see.
Oh, hey.
What about "Mode"? They hiring any help for this, um fashion thing? Fashion week! What is wrong with this family? Hilda, I really want to help out, but we're just we're filled up.
Here.
Thank you.
Isn't there anything for your sister? Dad, we cannot work together.
Don't you remember the Lemon Ice King disaster? She doesn't listen to me.
That was a long time ago, and it wasn't her fault.
She refused to wear a hairnet.
That man choked on her bobby pin, and I was the one who got fired.
Look, I love her, but it's not a good fit.
Betty Suarez! Thank you for calling back.
It's Victoria Beckham.
You're talking to Posh? No, but I'm talking to the people who talk to her.
Betty rules.
Daniel, I want to talk to you.
Great.
Another scotch lecture.
I've been thinking about your brother.
Right, so this is where you tell me what a disappointment I've been, right? How I'll never fill Alex's shoes? Alex died two years ago.
This is about you.
You've really proven yourself these past few months, Daniel.
One day, Meade Publications is gonna be in your hands.
Right, dad.
Whatever you say.
I mean it.
Tomorrow after the show, I plan on announcing my intentions to the press.
Thank you.
I'm proud of you, son.
Hi, sailor.
You're booking a cruise? You can't afford to cruise the bathroom on the 17th floor.
I have some money coming in.
From where? None of your business.
Go away.
Isn't there someone with a cold sore you could be making fun of? Oh, come on.
Spill.
It's me.
We share lip gloss.
You know how every year, there's the "it" item that comes out of fashion week? - Hello, wide belt-2006.
- Nah.
And you know how every year Eternal 18 has an exact knockoff of "it," mere days later? Who do you think tips them off for a big old bag of cash? What?! You've been selling your integrity to some tacky mall store? Genius.
Count me in.
Forget it, Clyde.
Find your own criminal activity.
Crazy in roadkill, 2:00.
Ah! Buongiorno, peon! Oh, no, no, no.
Fabia, you cannot just go in.
I love your assistant.
I have the same one in beige.
Fabia, I didn't know you were in the building.
I can usually smell you from the lobby.
Well, you know, seeing that Fabia donated $20,000 in cosmetics for the fashion show gift bag I figured you take Fabia to lunch, no? Oh, darling, I-I would love to, but I can't.
I'm swamped.
Not to mention, I'm getting a promotion.
It's still a little hush-hush, but you are looking at the-soon-to-be-crowned editor in chief of "Mode.
" That dress It is Eduardo! Yes.
I'm wearing it to the fashion show tomorrow.
I went to Eduardo's studio, and he promised this dress to me.
I even make for my picchu a matching ensemble.
Well, call Eduardo and see if he has another one.
Don't be stupido.
What are we, the freaking Olsen twins? Fine.
Have it your way.
Perhaps it'll look better in a plus size anyway.
Come on, baby.
We go.
Ah, Fabia, silly, little, delusional Fabia, I'm sure you and your little bitch will look fabulous in anything.
Look at that face.
It is flawless.
My god, it is flawless.
Who did your eyes? Shapiro? Fabia has had no work done! Please.
There's enough leftover skin from your surgeries to make a bed for my cat.
For your information, this not surgery.
This duck sauce.
Excuse me? The sauce from a man duck that make the baby duck.
I had a doctor- a Dr.
Wong on Spring Street.
He give me the injection into my face.
And poof! Ten years gone.
And you could look 65 again.
Well, as lovely as that sounds, I'm a few years away from having a duck quack off in my face.
Whatever you say Wrinklemina.
Ciao.
See you later, we go to mangia now.
Come on baby.
Marc! Dr.
Wong, Spring Street- I'm on it.
Um, I think I ordered a smaller size.
For who? You could wash it like, a few thousand times.
Henry, hi.
Uh, how have you been? Oh, good.
Busy.
So I hear you're working hard on the "Mode" show.
They must have liked how you pulled off the Christmas party.
Uh, hey, listen.
I kinda wanted to talk to you about that.
Betty! Oh, my God.
Hi! Hilda, what are you doing here? I am recovering.
Oprah told me that I need to take control of my life, and then Dr.
Phil told me that I need to take on a challenge, and then Rachael Ray made a pie.
Anyway, the point is I am back! And I need ten copies of my résumé.
Oh, hello.
I'm Hilda.
I'm Betty's sister.
Henry.
I think we spoke on the phone.
- When? - Oh, so nice to meet you.
- What? When did you talk- - Where's the xerox machine? Walk me.
Hilda, this is my job.
You can't just walk in whenever you feel like it.
Is that your boss? - Hey, Daniel.
- The xerox machine is over there.
Daniel! How was your meeting with your father? Uh better than I thought.
He didn't give you the old Alex speech? No, he's finally seeing me as an adult who can take responsibility- Brodeo! - Security! - No, no, no.
Betty, Betty.
This is my friend I was telling you about- Becks.
Oh! I'm so sorry.
The photojournalist.
I'm Betty.
We spoke on the phone when you were in Africa.
I heard all that growling in the background.
Yeah, she and I broke up.
Listen, Betty, if Daniel ever gives you a hard time, you let me know.
I'll take him out back, teach him some manners.
Okay.
Betty Suarez.
Okay.
Joke's over.
Where's your real assistant? Oh, come on.
Betty's a great girl.
Maybe after a half dozen shots.
All right, all right.
Look at what I brought you from Africa.
What is that? An oshe shango.
So seriously, how was Africa? Oh, it was totally mind-blowing- bullets flying, rebel attacks, human suffering Not a hottie to be found.
I mean, they're thin and all, but it's that sick thin, not hot thin.
Cultural sensitive as always.
So what brings you back, huh? It's fashion week.
- The booty-lympics.
- Yeah, I know.
I can't do that this year.
I'm the editor in chief now.
Do you have to talk like that when you say "editor in chief"? I do.
Come on.
This is our thing.
Besides, I didn't travel halfway around the world for you to turn into your father.
Good thing is my father is treating me differently now.
You know, he's about to give me the keys to the kingdom.
Yeah? Well, you didn't get all tight-ass when he gave you the keys to his Bentley.
We totaled that.
- Yeah.
- I get it.
You're just afraid that I'm gonna bag the hottest girl again.
Becks, this week isn't about that anymore.
I have to keep my eyes on the clothes, not the models wearing them.
Wow.
Do you pee sitting down now, too? Okay, thank you very much.
I thought you said ten copies.
Well, I must've hit the "zero" button by accident twice.
- Ooh, pencils! - No, no.
Betty, can you get us a couple take-out menus for the japanese place downstairs? Hey, Hilda.
How are you? Oh, just making a couple copies of my résumé.
I need a job.
Really? Well, we could always use some more help for fashion week.
Betty, just hook her up.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
We're gonna be working together.
"Hook me up.
" Well, it wouldn't be so much "together.
" I'd be your boss.
Yeah, right.
You know what? Hilda, I don't think that this is a good idea.
What? Are you kidding? It's gonna be great! Lemon Ice sisters reunited! I can't wait.
Do you know what I'm going to wear? This will be so much fun! No, no, don't raise your arms, you twit.
It's not pinned yet.
So I'm kinda having a rough day.
It's not draping.
My first show, and it's not draping right.
It started out pretty decent.
Betty, can you cut to the chase, please? You have 30 seconds.
Go.
Daniel hired Hilda to help us with fashion week.
She's not gonna listen to me, and she's going to take over like she always does.
Well, you've obviously never had an older sister.
Hilda wins miss Junior Teen Queens.
Who do you think got a cake? with straight A's.
Hilda comes home pregnant.
She gets another cake.
What, so this is about cake? It's about how she always steals my thunder.
Here at "Mode," I'm Betty.
Everywhere else, I'm Hilda's sister.
Betty, you were at "Mode" first.
Here she's gonna be Betty's sister.
Hmm.
That isn't so bad.
Bollocks.
These designs are awful.
No, they're not.
Thank you.
They're going to steal the show, so stop stressing.
Betty, everything I have ever wanted since I was 15 years old hinges on a 6-minute runway show! Christina, you are amazing.
You have to say that.
You're my friend.
But Wilhelmina isn't, and she would have never picked you if you didn't have talent.
Yep.
Well, Wilhelmina picked me because Well, we'll find out soon enough, won't we? You need to fill out this form and send it back.
Wait.
I-I-I filled this out last week.
- You did? - Uh-huh.
Oh.
I guess you did.
Well, you need to fill out this one.
And this one, too? You didn't turn 'em in? I'm sorry.
I'm just a little distracted.
My, um It's not important.
Are you sure that these will be ready in time for my court date? Of course.
I'm a professional.
You wanna talk about anything? No.
I'm fine.
He dumped me.
- Who? - My boyfriend Toussaint.
He's a dog.
I mean, who dumps somebody this close to Valentine's day? And I already bought him some chocolates.
Here, here.
Constance, you're a terrific woman.
You'll find someone else to give your chocolates to.
Oh, Ignacio.
You're so sweet.
Why can't all men be like you? Ignacio! Can you believe it's finally here? Everything we've worked for.
By this time tomorrow, Daniel and Bradford will be as out as ugg boots.
And I can't wait.
In fact, I think I'm gonna get there a little early tomorrow.
What?! That's not what we planned.
I want to mingle.
Besides, I never got to go to my own funeral.
I want to know what the world really thought of Alex Meade, especially my brother.
It's risky.
It's worth it.
Where are you anyway? Uh, teeth cleaning.
I will see you tomorrow.
Bring on the duck, Dr.
Wong.
Hilda, come on! We're gonna be late! Hilda! What did you do? You like? It was kinda boring.
It was kind of our uniform.
What? It still says "Mode.
" Or "Ode.
" Whatever.
You're supposed to work the fashion show, not be in it.
Your only job today is hanging and steaming clothes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're gonna pay me in cash, right? Have you seen my keys? Wait.
Looking for these? Okay, here's how this is gonna work, ladies.
You two are taking me to fashion week.
- Justin, if- - No argument.
I've been waiting for this my whole life.
I did my homework.
I called in sick to school today.
You just have to sign this little slip.
- If you think for a second that- - I swear, mom, I will run away.
I know a kid in sixth grade that sells crack.
Okay, all right.
Why don't we just bring dad, too? We are reporting live from Bryant Park- the kickoff of fashion week.
In the red tent, the Calvin Klein collection, and in the white tent, "Mode's" Ten Designers to Watch.
Karl Lagerfeld, we love you.
Ponytail at 70? Brave.
I did catch a glimpse of Zac Posen's line, and I think the construction was impeccable.
Hey.
Did you see that redhead with the pair of- Would you excuse us? I thought we talked about this.
I'll gonna see you after fashion week, all right? Fine.
Less competition, more meow for me.
Good.
Go.
Enjoy yourself.
Just make sure to ask the russian models for I.
D.
this time.
Oh, come on.
Give me an hour.
You know you want to.
Our usual bet? Whoever scores with the hottest girl here wins $1.
Becks, I'm not that guy anymore.
I told you.
You're on.
Oh, my God.
I think I'm gonna pass out.
Heidi Klum and Seal and baby Seal.
- Okay, but no autographs.
- Okay.
Oh, my God! J-Lo! Hilda! Hilda! You're supposed to be in the wardrobe tent.
- Now give me the camera.
- Hey, give it back! - I'm your supervisor.
- I will sit on you.
We're not at home.
Try and act like an adult.
Now go find something to steam.
Go on.
- And you- - I know.
I know.
Campbell at all times.
For your own good.
Look at me! I am a monster! How bad is it? Honest.
Not that bad at all.
A little cover-up and some hemorrhoid cream for the swelling you're good to go.
It's getting worse by the minute.
I can't see a thing.
It's a blessing, Willie.
Think about it.
Fashion week-all those people you don't want to see.
But they have to see me, and you will be by my side at all times.
You will be my seeing eye gay.
Now show me where the bathroom is.
No, no, no.
- What? - Crisis.
You're in on the Eternal 18 deal.
You need to help me find the "it" item.
Really? 50-50? - 40-60.
- 45-55.
Don't push it, bitch.
She just seems so distant lately, you know? She's always busy with work stuff.
It's fashion week- when the buyers get their first looks at the fall couture.
I think there's a Knicks game on.
Constance.
Do we have an appointment today? Oh, this isn't business.
You were just so sweet the other night, getting my mind off Toussaint.
By the way, here's his chocolates.
- There's three left.
- I don't like nuts.
But I thought I'd make you a little gumbo as a thank you, and for dessert- "failure to launch.
" But I-I-I've already eaten.
Oh, you think you have, but you haven't tasted my gumbo.
How you doing, cutie? Would you excuse me just a seconde? How you doin'? Pretty good.
You got a quarter I can borrow? Why? I told my mother I'd call her when I fell in love.
You've got to me kidding me.
That line is as old as pay phones, buddy.
I think you dropped your game right over there.
Hi.
I'm Daniel Meade.
Have we met before? You don't want her cooking your lunch, just tell her.
She's my immigration caseworker.
I piss that woman off, I end up on the other side of that fence.
Nacho! Nacho? It's her little pet name.
I think she wants to eat me.
Um, where do you keep your pepper, sugar? 'Cause we need something spicy.
Oh, wait.
Here I am.
Maybe you need to remind her that she works for the government.
She could lose her job.
And where should I make that phone call from, Walter? Guadalajara? Her boyfriend dumped her, and now she wants me.
Well, there's only one thing you can do.
You gotta get her back with the boyfriend.
Oh, my god.
Fabia.
2:00.
You're on Tokyo time, woman.
This way.
Ciao, bella! Oh, you're right.
You look so much better in that dress, especially with those sunglasses.
Did someone pay little visit to my Dr.
Wong? I'll get you, Fabia and your little dog, too.
Marc! Marc! Hi, hi.
This way.
Trust me.
The kleenex arts getting clumpy if you start to sweat, but if I find me cutlets to stuff in there, I'll get you.
- Thanks, Hilda.
- Sure.
- Excuse us.
Hilda? - Yeah? The models don't like it when you talk to them.
But the girl doesn't have any boobs.
I'm giving her some tips so she doesn't look like a 12-year-old boy.
I'm just warning you.
She crack me up.
Hey, Hilda.
We're having a party at G Spa after the show.
I'll put you on the list.
Oh, cool! Can I bring my sister? Um yeah, sure.
You're welcome.
I have a spring roll.
Come to me.
Come to me.
Oh, oh, oh, to the left, to the left.
To the right.
This is ridiculous.
It's been a couple of hours.
The swelling must have gone down by now.
I'm taking off these damn glasses.
Oh, no.
Find me a veil.
Uh, Uma.
It's Uma.
Yo.
I am at the Betsey Johnson show in the purple tent, and I've found it! The faux rabbit fur micro-mini- the "it" item for 2007.
Are you sure? Yes.
Everyone is going crazy.
Mischa Barton just knocked over Bate Bosworth.
Oh, like that's so hard.
Okay.
Just get over here.
We have to steal it.
Wilhelmina's talking to a mannequin.
I'll be right there.
What are you doing? First you tell me I can't steam clothes, and then you criticize the way I hang a dress, and now I can't put out gift bags? Well, they just weren't all facing the same angle.
Honey, you are a freak.
Will you please just go get the rest of the bags? Okay, Betty, but I don't know.
I hope I don't get lost.
Betty, you've gotta get over to the Sean John show in the green tent.
Look what I learned- popping and locking.
Thank you.
That's the first time I've laughed all day.
Oh, I have something for you.
Thought this might be a little more flattering than the one you got stuck with not that you don't always look good.
Thanks.
Oh, look at this- iPods, cell phones.
Hope they're declaring those on their taxes.
- Too nerdy? - Yeah.
Popping and locking.
So can I ask you something? Why didn't you call me back after the Christmas party? I left a message to see if you wanted to watch "Rudolph" together.
What? Wait- you left me a message? Where? At your house.
- Hilda never told you? - No.
She didn't.
Excuse me.
Where are you going? To become an only child.
Hey, Wilhelmina, love the hat.
Oh, thank you.
Do we know this person? Kayla Brooks, fashion correspondent for "New York One.
" She's in a midnight blue Chanel with pewter buttons and navy stockings.
- Mistake? - Colossal.
She looks like a mailbox.
You're good, Jason.
It's Justin, but you can call me whatever you want.
I love you.
What am I supposed to do, club her and strip her? Oh, take her into a porta-potty and seduce her out of it.
Have we met? Okay, I'll club her.
Oh, for God's sake, Dorothy, do you wanna go to man-tasy island or not? Be a man! Well, it was my first time drinking Mezcal.
I didn't know it was a worm.
Hilda, did you take a message from What are you doing? Hilda, how do I do that hair flip? In a second, Kay.
I'm helping out.
Christina asked me to.
But this is not your job.
Hilda, I need your help.
Eat a carrot stick.
I'm talking here.
They were shorthanded, and they needed somebody with a background in big hair, so come on, who knows better than me? Ay, Betty, I'm really liking it here.
Maybe I could turn this into a full-time thing.
No.
You shouldn't even be here.
Give me this.
I'll do it.
Yeah, you.
You can't even do your own hair.
This is not our bathroom.
Don't talk to me like that.
You are giving her a wind tunnel.
Sorry.
Okay.
All right.
Enough.
"The Hilda show" is over! Go home.
- What?! - You're fired.
Am I done? So what brings you to fashion week? Are you in the industry? Not yet, but I'm hoping to make a big splash.
Hi.
Sorry to interrupt.
Here's the coffee that I promised you an hour ago.
I'm sorry.
There are so many fires to be put out.
- You okay? - Yeah.
You have a lot to worry about.
I'm fine.
Will you excuse me a minute? Hey, Betty, what's going on? Nothing.
It's over now.
Don't worry.
I have to go check on Christina and the gift bags.
Betty, I know I dumped a lot in your lap this week, but you gotta know, you're doing a great job.
No, Daniel, I am out of my league here.
Listen, when I started this job, who was the secretary from Queens who saved the Fabia account? - Me.
- And who took all the credit? You.
And this week, when you get praise for the show, who do you think's gonna get the credit? - You.
- No, you! I'm gonna make sure of it.
Look, you just-you really gotta try and enjoy this.
This is incredible.
I have to go.
Find something to do.
Come on.
We are on a deadline! Sorry.
My assistant's been having a rough day.
You are not the Daniel Meade I thought you'd be.
Really? And who are you getting your information from? Daniel, I have a little confession to make.
Okay.
Your brother Yeah? I used to date him.
Okay.
You okay.
You can do this.
She is a model.
- I can't do it.
- Shiny things confuse her.
Okay, now just flirt with her, maybe even kiss her, and that bunny skirt will hop right off of her.
Okay, okay, okay! But if this is anything like my prom night, you're paying for the therapy.
Okay.
Wait.
Come back.
Go, go, go.
The kid brother who Alex used to talk about wouldn't have cared what kind of a day his assistant was having.
Yeah, well, things change.
People change.
Yes, they certainly do, Danny.
- Thank you for coming.
- Daniel, thank you.
- Good luck with the show.
- Thank you very much.
It's actually Daniel.
My brother's the only one who called me Danny.
Do you miss him? We had a complicated relationship- competitive.
I mean, you know how he was.
To be honest- it might sound a little weird- but, um, it's kind of a relief to finally be out from under his shadow.
Oh, I think you're still standing in it Danny.
I've got a little secret for you.
Oh, yeah? What's that? What? What the hell are you talking about? Look into my eyes, Danny, 'cause that's about the only thing they couldn't change.
Is this some kind of sick joke? What, Becks put- Becks put you up to this? Remember Tia Petroni? The weekend in Vegas I got a little crazy? Ready for the show Danny? Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats.
Where is Daniel? Unbelievable.
He should be here.
He knows how important this is.
I just saw him.
Um, he must have, uh I'll find him.
You're crazy.
How could you do this? I mean-I can't even look at you! Then don't look at me, but I need you to know why I did this.
- Since I was 5, I've known- - Don't! Since I was 5, I felt like I've been dropped in the wrong skin.
This is about correcting a mistake.
Oh, is that all it is? Really? That's the fast version.
Look, I wanted to talk to you before I went through with it.
I just didn't have an opportunity.
Stop.
I can't breathe.
You have no idea what you put the family through.
We thought you were dead, Alex.
Mom had to bury her son.
She's never recovered.
- And our father, he's- - What, moved on? I've noticed.
Nobody's moved on, Alex.
We think about you every single day.
It's Alexis.
And by the way hitting on your dead brother's old girlfriend Classy.
Yeah, I'm just coming off a pretty bad breakup myself.
So, uh, if you're, uh if you're looking for a little mnh-mnh-mnh rebound action What I'm looking for is my shoes.
Oh, those black platform peep-toes? Fabulous.
Oh, I see now.
They're hiding the good stuff back here.
No, no, no.
You don't want this slut.
There is a much bigger slut in there, and, uh, I want her skirt.
Could you just go get it for me? The horror! - Oh! I'm sorry.
- Excuse me.
Oh, my god! Katharine McPhee! Hi, um, I'm Betty Suarez, Daniel Meade's assistant.
Huge "Idol" fan, by the way- huge.
Totally had the McPheever.
Um, oh, have you seen Daniel, by the way? No, I haven't, but I'm sorry.
Did you say "Suarez"? Are you Hilda's sister? Oh, my god, she's awesome.
You know, actually, I signed a CD for her.
Can you give that to her? Thanks.
Here, get McPheever.
Well, enjoy the show.
Some of us are gonna be watching it from the unemployment line.
What? My freakin' sister just fired me! Mine just came back from the dead and he's hot.
What are you talking about? Just, um, having a bad day.
Yeah, well, I've had a bad month.
Give me that.
Hey.
I've been honking out there.
You call for a cab? Actually, I called for you.
Are you Toussaint Duvalier? Yeah.
Who are you? That's not important.
It's, uh, about Constance.
Is she here? Do I smell gumbo? No.
No, no, no.
Relax, relax.
She's not here.
I just want to talk to you.
Look, Toussaint, you hurt her really bad, and she's such a special person.
Are you sure you want to give up that much loving? What is it to you? Well, I She's your caseworker, isn't she? How'd you know? How do you think me and her hooked up? This is how she operates.
First, she'll start showing up three times a day.
Yeah.
Then she starts moving her chair closer and closer.
Before you know it, she is crying about the last guy who dumped her.
Exactly! How does she get away with this? She is the one stamping "denied" or "approved.
" I don't think I can play this game.
You want your green card? You don't have a choice, man.
You ride that squishy train until you reach your destination! No, don't just lick it.
Eat it.
That's it.
It's just chewing, and then a swallow.
That's the way.
Here we go, another one.
Christina, I need to speak with you.
Oh, uh, thank you, Jason.
Now go play with the belts.
I can't do this.
I should just go back to Scotland and knit tea cozies.
Oh, cool it, bagpipes.
I chose you because of your fresh new talent.
You picked me because I did you a shady favor.
That doesn't mean you haven't worked hard and paid your dues.
I have one little change in the lineup.
I'm replacing your final model.
You can't just spring this on me now! I just did.
Models on in five.
Have you seen Daniel? Where is he? Daniel! Hilda! Hilda, what the hell are you doing? Betty Your father's looking for you.
The show's starting.
Look, I know this seems I didn't mean to I'm gonna go inside, I guess.
I thought I told you to go home.
Hey, I don't take orders from you anymore.
I was fired, remember? Oh, please, like you ever listen to my orders to begin with.
What is this-your little way of getting back at me? Hurts, huh? Hilda, "Mode" is mine.
You can't have this, too.
What? Do you have any idea how hard it has been for me to get these people to remember my name? You walk in, and in the first two minutes, you're everybody's best friend.
My entire life, no one has ever paid attention to me when you're in the same room.
Please.
You wanna know the truth? I loved watching you sit on that couch eating that cookie dough, 'cause for the first time, I was the center of attention.
And by the way, that was my cookie dough.
Well, I am glad to see you're in my corner.
Oh, Hilda, don't turn this around and make it about you.
Do you know how hard it is for me, Betty? First impressions- that's all I got.
So if I don't flirt with the boys and joke with the girls, they're gonna realize there's not much behind the tight jeans and the low-cut top.
That is such crap.
Well, it was worth a shot.
You had some good stuff.
Now, look, Betty, give me a break.
Today a few models laughed at my jokes.
You're the one with the great job, the great boss, some cute guy who is totally into you, by the way.
In the big race, you're way ahead.
Well, there's plenty of things that you're good at, too.
Before we set that girl's hair on fire, it was looking pretty good.
You think? You know, maybe you could get a real job doing hair or something.
Well, I do work this every morning.
Hilda.
Why didn't you tell me Henry called? I was trying to protect you.
I thought he was some big city guy who might hurt you.
I'm sorry.
I-I should have known you can take care of yourself.
This is amazing.
And that was our final designer, Christina McKinney.
And now for the man who's responsible for all of this- Mr.
Bradford Meade.
Thank you, thank you.
First, I'd like to, uh, talk about the future of Meade publications.
- There have been, uh- - May I? I know this is Mr.
Meade's time, but I have an announcement I'd like to make about the futur of this company as well.
Two years ago, the Meade family lost their eldest son, Alex.
What the hell do you think you're doing? What Mr.
Meade doesn't know is that, while he may have lost a son, he gained a daughter.
Hi, daddy.
I'm back.
Alex? You can call me Alexis.
Bradford Meade, you're under arrest for the murder of Fey Sommers.
Put your hands behind your back, sir.
Put your hands behind your back.
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can be used against you in a court of law.
You have a right to an attorney That brown envelope that you had me take to the police station You used me! Used you? I made you a star! That's Alex? Yeah.
Is it fun having a sister?