Up All Night (2011) s01e14 Episode Script

And this is little nudge academy's nap room.
Donated by the CFO of Disney.
I read about this online.
The entire floor is tempur-pedic, honey.
Look at this.
Oh, wow.
Oh, yes.
Honey, you got to get in here.
I swear, you could put a couple glasses of red wine on here and jump up and down, and it wouldn't spill at all.
Not that we've tested that.
It's We don't drink in bed.
Or ever.
Well, we find that a good nap primes our students for analytic learning.
Analytical okay, well our daughter, like, zero years old.
Well, you're smart to vet schools now.
Little nudge's waiting list is two years long.
Wow.
Well, let me show you our music room.
- We just got a new Steinway.
- Oh.
Babe, don't you think we should just send her to the pre-school that's near our house.
I mean, it's nice and normal.
Little nudge is the best, honey.
Our methods work.
The data show that graduate from Ivy league colleges.
Ivy league, Chris.
Oh, my God, yeah.
Can picture Amy at Harvard, huh? Yeah.
Fall foliage, and just rowing crew and dating a vice president's son.
But chaste.
I mean, none of the What can we do to make sure that our daughter gets into this school? Well, there are many factors involved in the process.
A child's aptitude.
- Off the charts.
- Their acclimation to others.
- She has a very social gaze.
- Yeah.
Multilingual exposure.
Podemos hablar poquito.
Oui, oui, madame.
And of course there's parental involvement, donating time or sourcing financial support.
We have a charity auction every year, and unfortunately the parent who is leading it had to drop out.
I'll do it! I'll run the auction.
Whoa.
Babe, I don't know if I produce 120 hours of TV a year, honey.
I think I can produce a charity auction.
I'll go grab some info, and you can commence promptly.
Oh.
"Commence promptly.
" Way to not split the infinitive.
- Did I just split the infinitive? - I don't know what that is.
You will donate a weekend at canyon ranch? Great.
But there's got to be a spa package in there, okay? Oh, thank you.
Boom! I'm sorry.
I, uh, should have hung up first.
But I did mean "boom.
" Yeah, all right.
Thank you so much.
All right, babe, I'm going to go pick up Casey from the airport.
Were you just lifting weights so that you would look strong for your brother? No.
Yes, you did.
You just yoked up.
You're yoked, look at that.
Every time your brother come to town, you got to butch yourself up.
No, I don't.
Yes, you do.
You strut around with your chest all puffed up and those, like, "what are you looking at?" Arms.
Don't be threatened by my masculinity.
It only exists to love and protect.
Sweetie, I love Casey.
But this never-ending one-upping, it's like you're teenagers.
It just would be nice if your relationship would mature past a push-up contest.
He wins because his form is bad.
You haven't seen him in a year, and you could be closer.
Yeah, I would like the dynamic to change.
And I think that I'm a new man.
I put the law firm madness behind me, and I love being a stay-at-home dad.
And I'm very comfortable in my own skin.
Are you wearing cologne? It's bear musk.
Put it on before the conversation.
- Hello.
- Good morning! Good morning.
Ah, thank you.
More auction items came in.
Oh, wonder Oh, look at this.
I had to pull a few favors to get this stuff overnighted.
But no big deal, just an auction genius.
All right, let's see what we've got here.
My goodness.
Ah, a Tiffany keychain.
Check.
Thank you, Missy, so much.
I couldn't have done any of this without you.
I would do anything to help Amy get a good education.
I mean, Oakland public schools made me tough as nails, but that had consequences.
Don't walk up on me! It's a friend.
Sorry.
Hey, h what's all this? Uh, we are hosting a charity auction for Amy's future preschool.
- Oh.
- And the coup de grace - Yes? - You are the MC! Yay.
I'm sorry, sweetie.
I don't do auctions.
They give me agita.
I'll write a check instead.
No, no.
We need you, not your money.
Come on, this is for a very good cause, I.
E.
, getting her into a school with a petting zoo.
- I hate speaking fast.
- You used to rap.
The room's always too hot.
You endorse a line of space heaters.
I don't like to be on when I'm away from my set.
You give away headshots to strangers.
And anyway, Kevin and I are taking my boat to Catalina Island that morning.
I thought you were selling the super freak 2? It's tough to move a psychedelic houseboat in this market.
When you get to Kuala Lumpur, Casey.
Casey.
When you get there, you tell Tengku Casey sent you.
Okay? Wow, you're so pretty.
Look at you go.
Dude, what a classic.
Whoa, hey.
Your shoulders, they feel a little thin.
You stop working out on me? Come on, man.
No, I'm working out at the gym everyday.
Plus I'm supplementing with p90x.
You got to upgrade to insanity.
It's a total body experience.
I could leap from here on top of that ATM, no problem.
Come on, man.
Give me a hug, bro.
Get in here, little brother.
Argh! Wow, that the best you got? - Yeah.
- Uhh! Bro, what's up with all this pop-country, huh? Oh, yeah.
No, Reagan must've gotten her hands on my radio.
I do not listen to lady antebellum.
Yeah.
It's great to see you, Casey.
You too, brother.
I'm so excited for you to meet your niece, Amy.
Oh, man, me too.
I've just been so swamped travelling for work.
These global markets, they never close, bro.
You know? Ever.
Global markets.
Man, you are killing it, huh? - Eh.
- Oh, what am I talking about? You were always killing it.
So, uh, how's work going? What's that? Well, the last time we talked, you were on track to be partner.
Yeah, you know, actually, um Oh.
I'm sorry, you didn't make it? Hey, look, brother.
Don't feel bad, right? No, dude, I'm I'm killing it, yeah.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Yeah, taking care of business, bro.
- All right.
- T.
C.
B.
Yeah, t.
C.
B.
That's my little brother, huh? Yeah, crazy billable hours.
Hell yeah! My boy, my boy.
Whoa! What is that? Yeah.
I know.
You and Reagan, you guys getting a little kinky, a little freaky? Huh? No, no, no, that's uh It's a baby Bjorn, man.
Huh? No, it's just to carry my baby, my child.
- Oh, God.
- Yeah, no.
Oh, man, I'm sorry about that.
Don't worry about it, dude, that's So you're killing it at work, right? - Yeah.
- Right, right, right.
Just laying waste, dude.
- Yeah, man.
- Ohh.
Hey, do you have time for a visitor? I'm pretty busy.
There's a Raquel Welch crystal light commercial from the '80s that I have to see.
Wow, maybe you could teach this visitor about the Internet.
Oh, my God.
Reagan.
The little nudge academy would have taught her about that, but she doesn't get to go there now, so Auntie Ava, you may have stunted my development, but I know you still love me.
You think a creepy baby voice and a grim hypothetical will get me to your auction? Think again.
Oh, did not know Amy was going to get involved.
That coo is my kryptonite.
Keep her back! Oh, no.
I love you.
You're so pretty.
What's this.
What's that? I'm gonna get you.
Pick and roll! Ohh, you are ruthless.
And so are you, Reagan.
All right, I'll do your auction.
I didn't even have to bring out the big guns.
- Lethal cuteness.
- What? You will stop at nothing.
Put those on her right now.
Dude, I can't believe you sent this.
You did not need to get her such an expensive gift.
Hey, nothing but the best for my little niece.
It's crazy, you did this.
- It's a miracle.
- Oh, you know what? While I'm down here, I think I might just bang out a quick set.
One, two Let me get in on that, bro.
Three, four, got to keep up.
Start again.
- Five, six - Dude, those don't count.
- No.
- It's marine style.
I'm counting them.
- Pass on the way down.
- 15, 16 Down and top.
Hey, guys.
Hey, babe, look who I found.
- Hey.
- I'm watching you.
Hey, so it's been Oh, hi, yeah, it's been Dude I just did like four while you were there.
So long since I've Since I've seen you.
Dude, you were holding it down low.
- Yeah? - All righty.
Dude, my heart rate we down.
Really? Because I think you're gonna have a heart attack any second now.
See that right there? Welcome to the rest of your life, honey.
- Switch hands.
- All right.
What you're about to enjoy is a brassy little Pinot from the Russian River Valley in Sonoma.
Pairs well with lamb and family.
Hmm.
I'm sorry, it might be just me, but it feels like this needs to, like, breathe, or it hasn't really opened yet or something, right? Reagan, I can't believe you had a baby, look at you.
If I was a chick, I would hate you.
Oh, God, no.
So, Casey What do you think about Chris's new life change, huh? Big ol' life change.
About the, um The baby.
Huh? What does that No, I'm talking about the fact that you The fact that we had the baby.
Yes, with the I'm sorry.
Work is blowing up, oh, man.
The yen is punching the euro in the balls.
Oh, man.
That's not good.
What's What's with the and the blah.
He thinks that I'm still working, and that, also, I might be a partner.
Oh, my What is wrong with you? He just assumed that I was still there, all right.
And we started talking about killing it and it all got away from me.
This is such teenage crap.
You know that, right? You too are grown men, okay? I mean, you've had sex with ladies.
With hot ladies.
You're talking about you, right? Calm it down.
Now, is this the kind of relationship - that you want to have with him? - No, it's not.
But it's the relationship that we've always had.
He'd go out for basketball, I'd go out for basketball.
He became a wall street star, I became a big shot lawyer, who's like a top-of-his-field guy, - sort of a hero in the eyes of many.
- Huh? Look, the point is that we feed off each other.
You know, yeah, of course I wish we were closer, we're just not.
Well, you have to start by being honest with him.
I haven't found the right moment yet, he's really pushing my buttons, okay? Hey, case, buddy, could I talk to you for a sec? Actually, you know what? I got to talk to you about something.
Look what I found in our mother's storage unit, scanned for your viewing pleasure.
- Come on, man.
- What is it? You remember when you were a tween model? - Oh, my God.
- No, it gets better, watch.
Check out these husky photos.
Okay, well, husky's a reference to the brand name, not my No, no, no.
You modeled big boy clothes.
Let me see.
Oh, my God.
Honey, you're wearing a bib overall.
Well, it was a little Look at him doing the model eyes.
By the way, my face just looks like this.
All right? That's not And by the way, I'll have you know that I took the cash from this and I bought a super rad motocross bike.
Should have bought a treadmill is what he should have done.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Okay, you know what? I'm going to hit the sack.
Because, I have big day tomorrow and I don't want to crash and burn in front of the partners, of which, I am one.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Send those to me right now.
I flew all the way out here, I needed this.
It was supposed to be a sure thing.
Okay, okay.
All right, a right.
Just just call me if anything opens up on the Nikkei stock exchange.
Right, yeah, yeah.
Okay, thank you very much.
Alright, sayonara.
Okay, bye-bye.
Sorry, case.
I just needed to come out and get her toys and stuff.
Oh, no, no, it's okay.
I'm just doing deals, right? Yeah.
Okay, what's wrong? Something's off.
What? No, nothing's off.
It's all good, Reagan.
Oh, come on.
You're all riled up.
Your hair is kind of scraggly.
And honestly, you usually smell pretty good, but that cologne, Casey, it's That's designer imposter, isn't it? It's red suede for men.
Oh, boy.
I saw it by the counter at the rite-aid when I was buying a box fan.
For legal reasons, they had to spell suede with a "w.
" I-I lost my job a year ago.
Casey, I'm so sorry.
I came out here for a job interview, and it fell through.
And now my Tampa-based headhunter is wondering why I just said, "sayonara," you know? I mean, Chucky just must think I'm losing it.
Your headhunter's name is Chucky? Not like, "Chuck" or "Charles" or anything? No, Chucky sounds Chucky sounds young and hungry.
Reagan, just please, please don't tell Chris about this.
I won't.
But you know what? You should.
Casey, he loves you so much.
No matter what, he wants to hr about your life.
No, I I can't.
I mean, if if Chris thinks I'm a loser, then I don't even know who I am.
Oh, Casey.
No, no, no, it's the red suede.
It's just burning my eyes.
- Oh, gosh.
- It's like Tabasco.
That's gotta smart.
This place is so nice.
I know, right? Where are the metal detectors? It's a pre-school.
Things were different in Oakland.
You know the saying, "youngs be strapped with the sharpest shivs"? Did they need a metal detector for you, Missy? Guess we should start putting some bids in, huh? Kind of had my eye on this guitar lessons from Poison's C.
C.
Deville.
Thinking about-- actually, I'm buying you guitar lessons om Poison's C.
C.
Deville.
There you go, how's that? All right, yeah.
No problem.
I'll just jump in there myself.
Maybe I'll do that.
You're going to call it now.
I'm gonna add two zeros.
How's that? Bam, no problem that's all right.
I just made a slight error.
Move the decimal and add a zero.
How about that? - Do you mind if - Not going to happen, man.
We're kind of in the middle of something.
This is the closest you're getting to C.
C.
And his north Hollywood studio.
Yeah.
Biddings are closed, so Oh, here she is.
She's even more commanding in person.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
- Uh, you okay? - This keeps happening.
- What? - You know what they say.
Pashmina caught in a door twice, shame on me.
Okay, here we go.
Just open the door, that all you got to do.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
Honey, have you been drinking? I've been boating all day, these are sea legs.
Okay, your breath smells of alcohol.
Well, of course I had a boat drink.
A boat drink? One small rum concoction, served in a plastic sand bucket.
It was to loosen up my auction tongue.
What's this? well, of course I had a limo drink.
Okay, not every vehicle has to to have a drink.
I am fine.
Fine.
Wow, great.
Do I have 500? Let me see 500.
Five, five.
Thank you, sir.
That's our jive, look alive, feeling live.
Let's look at 750.
Hi, hi.
I saw you come in with the Benz with really nice rims.
Why don't you get the paddle up? Okay? Thank you.
Thank you sir, that feels great.
What you say, sir? Better get off your butt.
Better get off your butt.
If you know what, you better get off your butt.
It's almost ten.
That's a ten! Let me say it again, that's a ten Going once, going twice.
Hot diggity doggity, millity vanillity, sold to the guy in the suspenders.
Thank you, Missy.
Moving on to lot 44, an Australian surf vacation.
We are very close to our goal, so let's start the bidding at $3,500.
Man, I've always wanted to go surfing in Australia.
I heard the waves break the other way down there.
Ah, carving it up down under is wild.
Well, I do have some vacation days coming.
I got a huge bonus on the way.
That's it, 3,500.
There we go.
Four large! - 4,100 large.
- 4,500.
Everything okay for you with Oh, it's fabulous.
I'm just happy to help, really.
Amy and I, we're I think we just have - the same gene.
- Oh yeah.
- You know, we're doers.
- Uh-huh.
A lot of babies, they look at the world like, "hey, whatever, world.
" But not Amy.
She's like, "what's up? How can I help you?" Mm-mm.
And Ava is amazing.
I love how she lit up those insecure, competitive men.
- 8,000! Great! - Idiots.
Put that down.
- $10,000.
- 10,500-- give me the paddles.
Give me the paddles right now.
Give it to me.
Go.
Just because you're not my husband does not mean I won't paddle you, go.
Ow! Makes my big toe shoot up in my boot.
Ignore their bids.
Do I hear 11,000 for an Australian vacation? Crikey! You two have gone completely insane.
Now look, I know that I promised I wasn't going to say anything, but you two need to talk.
Right now.
So start saying things on the count of three.
One.
Two.
Three.
- I make seven figures.
- I can do 40 chin-ups in a row.
God, you guys suck.
Will you stop sucking? - Ow.
- Ow! I quit the firm so that I could stay home with Amy.
I'm not a lawyer anymore.
I'm not killing it.
Seriously? I haven't worked in a year.
Deutsche Bank let me go.
Oh, my God.
Casey, I didn't Do you know how hard it is to be fired by a guy with a German accent? Every time I begged Herr Schmidt for my job back, he just said"nein.
" Come on, Herr Schmidt said "nein" to you? No way.
Yeah, it's a long flight back to the states.
Reagan Brinkley, I want to thank you again.
This was our most successful auction ever.
And I have a little something for Amy.
Oh, my goodness.
Thank you so much.
Oh, I'm so proud.
Look at that.
Oh What's that? I think I just got a little nudge.
Oh, is it okay if I bring Amy by next week, just to get acclimated to the campus and Of course, anything for the woman who got us Ava.
Oh.
And feel free to bring by some of your other celebrity friends.
Okay, yeah.
I Stars help brand us.
I mean, they make little nudge shine.
Do you know Hugh Jackman or any of the Gyllenhaals? Hi, ladies.
Oh, Ava.
Thank you so much.
People like you are what this school is all about.
Do you think that we could get an autographed picture? Sure.
Just talk to Missy.
Oh, great.
So, that went great, right? Are you happy? It was thank you.
- Really, you were amazing.
- I know.
And look, she's in.
- Aww.
That's cute.
- Yeah, she's in.
It's just that, uhh They're kind of star-[Bleep.]
, huh? They are.
They want to [Bleep.]
Stars.
Yeah, I know.
Look, I know it's not my place, but maybe Amy should go to a school where she's the star, you know, instead of someone like me.
I know.
I just want to do what's best for her, you know? Oh, sweetie.
A lot of places can be best with the right parts and the right kid.
And you got both.
Ha.
So, you at home with the baby every day.
That's hard to picture.
Yeah, I know.
It's tough sometimes.
But you know what? I'm glad I did it.
It's really nice.
So, when you're at home, in the afternoon, watching soaps, what do you rock? A housecoat or a slip? Dick.
No, you know what? I really admire, brother.
Aww.
Next time, you keep me in the loop, okay, buddy? Yeah, you too.
Who can make a three-pointer? That would be me.
Let's see it.
Oh, nice, brother.
Boom.
Aww, look at this place.
It's so normal.
Yeah.
Babe, they've got a tire swing.
We had a tire swing at my preschool.
- Babe, wind me up.
- Okay.
Ruh! - Wait, you ready? - Yeah.
- Don't be shy.
- I'm not gonna be shy.
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
- Nice school.
- Yeah.
We've actually got a child.
Yeah, yeah.
We're not We're not, like, weirdos or anything like that.
We're gonna go.
Yeah, well, we'll just, this will just take a sec.
- Just, can you make it faster? - Yep.